View Full Version : Updo question - and feeling a bit unpretty

January 9th, 2010, 09:24 AM
Hi ladies and gents! :)

I'm in a bit of a quandry about my hair. I joined the board a couple of years ago in order to try and make my hair a bit thicker. I switched to no-cone and began wearing my hair up everday. I have improved in thickness, but I had unexpected gains in length. I went from waist to hip (and that with a curl - my hair is a about a third of the way down my thigh in the shower).

Thing is, I sometimes feel that with my hair in a braided bun all the time I don't really get the 'benefit' of my hair. My hair is just pulled back all the time, and it doesn't really flatter my face. Also, my freshly washed hair is very difficult to pin up - very soft and slippy. I feel like I work hard for good condition - but never show it off.

So - how does everyone else deal with this? Am I being too strict in wearing my hair up everyday? How often does everyone else wear their hair up? Is this a common phase?

Any input appreciated! :D

January 9th, 2010, 09:45 AM
I would suggest you check out http://www.youtube.com/user/torrinpaige.

She is a member here and demonstrates lots of cute up-styles. She also wears her hair down a great deal of the time.

If you haven't looked at the curly threads do pop in there and talk to them about wearing curls down.

I'm all for making sure my hair is as healthy as it can be, but if I can't do what I want with it there is very little point. My hair is for me, for making me feel as pretty as I want. Long hair does that now. If that changes I will change my hair. ETA--In fact, I have recently changed my hair. I cut it back from waist+ to a little longer than apl because my previous layers were displeasing me. I'm sorry to have lost the length, but happy I made the change.

Figure out what you want from your hair and how to best care for it and wear it to meet those goals.

If updos don't stay well on freshly washed hair then maybe you should wear it down and curly the first day or two after a wash. Then put it half-up or all the way up for the next few days until you wash again.

If I were you, I would find some new updos to learn, find some info on washing and conditioning curly hair so it can be worn down for a day or two, and consider trimming it back some if this length is interfering with enjoying your hair.

Good luck!

January 9th, 2010, 10:25 AM
Thanks so much for your response:

I'm all for making sure my hair is as healthy as it can be, but if I can't do what I want with it there is very little point

That's how I'm feeling just now. It's just not doing anything for me just now. I wear a braided bun because it is quick and easy and just kirby the wispy bits back - but it's really utilitarian and I never feel like it looks good.

I think part of my problem might be that I never set out to have hip length hair, and I'm now finding it difficult to manage. I'll take your advice re: looking at ways to wear curly hair down more often, checking out torrinpaige's youtube videos - and considering a trim.

Thank-you for your advice :) My hair needs to work for me, not vice-versa!

January 9th, 2010, 10:41 AM
I have to be honest, I have shied away from wearing my hair up every day for this reason exactly. If I'm going to have long hair, I am going to enjoy it. So it might be more damaged, or take longer to reach my goal length, but the entire process, I'll have my hair! I do wear my hair up occasionally, but I prefer it down.

January 9th, 2010, 10:43 AM
misstwist is right. It is there to be enjoyed.

My hair is really difficult right now - 1 inch to 6 inches new growth, thin see throuh ends - and I wear it only in flattering styles - I need to feel good about myself. For me that is the whole reason to have it long.

Because I have a baby I have to wear it up, but I cannot get a bun to look good on me, ever. There are many ways to protect hair while also enjoying it! It also sounds like you might just want more variety, which is understandable!

I personally like very messy updos, French twists, folds, and half pony half buns, but I seem to go in and out of phases where one 'do will work for a while and then not work any more.

good luck finding something that you like!

January 9th, 2010, 10:54 AM
I have a friend with hair about like yours. She does all kinds of stuff with her hair and actually wears it down most of the time. Enjoy your hair or what's the point? If you want to wear it down on the weekends or something, do it. I love having my hair down.

January 9th, 2010, 11:25 AM
Thank-you for your advice :) My hair needs to work for me, not vice-versa!

I'm glad I was helpful to you. Some people just find me bossy. ;)

January 9th, 2010, 11:54 AM
I think I know how you feel. I get the blues about my hair sometimes because I get sick of wearing it bunned, but it tangles like crazy when I wear it down. However, I get more compliments on my braids than anything else, so I've decided to take the time and trouble to do braided styles more often when I'm going to be out and about. I need those compliments!

January 9th, 2010, 12:07 PM
I also do a lot of braiding lately. Two braids, a very lose pony braided over one shoulder and even milkmaid. It al works well and I think it goes very well with wintertime. And the first day after washing I usually wear it down, that is, at the office. At home I have a baby with a grip of steel.

January 9th, 2010, 12:33 PM
Try experimenting with accessories and partings to change the look of your updos- try thin headbands, thick headbands, side swept fake bangs, center partings, no parts, moving your part off center, snoods, flowers in your hair, scarves, barrettes, etc. A cute pair of earring can sometimes be the difference between looking boring and beautiful for me.

Having fun with accessories can break up the monotony of wearing your up and make it more enjoyable in the long run. And don't hesitate to wear your hair completely down, in a half up, or braided style every once in a while because it's important that you enjoy your hair.

January 9th, 2010, 12:41 PM
I wear my hair up basically every day. The times it is down are the very rare moments for some sort of occasion (once in the past few years I believe) or when I'm getting ready to redo it, which equates to unbraiding, combing out, and then putting it back up. If you feel too confined with just a braided bun then switching up the kind of up-style you wear can be a huge change, especially if you do want to keep it up. It breaks the monotony.

January 9th, 2010, 12:45 PM
I know how you feel. Before LHC this was actually the reason I tended to cut at BSL or so, because I was wearing my hair up all the time.

If I feel in a rut I do different styles and do braids or something to add interest at the front of the updo. I also wear it down on wash days (my scalp gets angry if I put it up wet), so I get to appreciate it being down, and sometimes I wear it down otherwise, too.

January 9th, 2010, 01:00 PM
Before I joined; I wore my hair down on my wash day; mainly to finish drying. I'd blow dry for 5-10 minutes especially in the front just to get some lift. Then for the second day, I'd do an updo.

I did notice for me that as my hair grew the more tangly it got from letting it be free. Plus, I'd have to be super careful about where my hair was. IE walking in the break room where people were eating :o etc. Don't even get me started on buffet, all you can eat places. It seemed like I had more control if it was just up and out of the way. I've often closed the car door on my hair, or rolled up the window on it. Got it stuck in zippers etc. I'm nearing 800 days of updos. Another gal (here) and I are going for 1000 days, but honestly I'll probably just keep going.

I'm growing out some layers and bleach damage and dusting along the way. I have vacillated between just chopping to my longest layer and regrowing from there (waist) or keep doing what I'm doing. I'm still on the fence on this and the jury is still out. :shrug:

I can never seem to keep track of my monthly/yearly growth, but I did stop coloring my hair last January and have considerable outgrowth from that. I see no difference in tracking that or my actual length growth. :shrug: The reason I'm bringing that up; is because I've seen substantial improvement in the health of my length and I attribute that to less styling and restyling and wearing it up.

However, it really is to each his/her own though. If you don't see the point in growing it long to only hide it up you may consider doing some half ups. That seems like the best of both worlds. I agree w/checking out Torrin's youtube page...I've lost many hours just watching her style, so be forewarned ;) Plus, she's so stinking cute to listen to :D

January 9th, 2010, 02:17 PM
Hi Boudicca :)

I agree that our hair is ours to enjoy. Should you feel like wearing it down, then do so! I usually wear mine up just to have it out of my way, but there are times I feel like wearing it down for me or DBF... and I enjoy every minute.


January 9th, 2010, 03:33 PM
You guys are all wonderfully lovely to give me so much advice. :flower:

Slightly Soprano - I think I'll have to take a cue from you and actually enjoy my hair - and I'm just not at the moment.

Katze - I think you're right - part of my problem is a lack of variety in updos. I've got stuck in a bit of a rut. To be honest, though, my hair is quite fine - and it's difficult to find a flattering updo with any volume to it.

Your looks lovely and thick - I bet messy updos look great :)

Goddesjourney - You're spot on - enjoy your hair or what's the point? TY :)

misstwist - Bossiness is good when you're right. ;)

spidermom - Your braids are lovely and thick. If my braids were as nice as yours I'd wear them down too. Unfortunately, I have a thin, mean braid. I know what you mean about bun-blues, though.

Raponsje - I think I'm going to have to leave mine down the first day after braiding too - it's just too soft and slippy to updo nicely. Milkmaid braids sound sweet!

Starr - It's weird, I tend to buy accessories - but am too lazy to develop the updos to use them well! :D I got a couple of fantastic vintage ones from E-Bay recently - I think one is actually part of an old tiara! I need to work out a way to turn it into a barrette. I'll try to use them more often, though. Thanks for the tip :)

Gumball - your ringlets are fab! You're right - I do need to work on my updos. I'm a terrible combination of impatient and clumsy - which is not good when it comes to updos. Couple that with fine, soft hair and you have a disaster! :steam: You should have seen my recent attempt at a lace braid! I've never seen any updo go so wrong! I'll try and mix it up a little.

florenonite - You're right, I think I do need to do something when I updo to add interest at the front - my hair is too thin and I have loads of new growth, so the fron it a combination of wispy and flat - lovely! Do you do a braid headband?

angelthadiva - I'm in total awe at how deft Torrinpaige is with her updos! How does she do it?! It's difficult for me to figure out what caused my accidental growth because I made all my changes at once - no cones, updos, and no scoring my thumbnail down locks of hair (I know, it was a terrible habit). I think I might have to start wearing it down occasionally, though, becuase I'm just fed up with it just now.

Coriander - You're totally right, we should enjoy our hair. Your butterfly clip is lovely - I may have to go shopping......:)

January 9th, 2010, 03:34 PM
I like to choose how to do my hair according to the weather- if it's going to be a nice day with little wind, I say go ahead and wear it down or half up-half down. You do have amazing length!

January 9th, 2010, 03:57 PM
I don't usually do a braided headband when my hair's up, but I'll braid along the hairline from the parting down to the ear.

January 9th, 2010, 04:10 PM
I have to say that your hair is my dream hair--color and everything. I hope that mine looks like yours when it gets as long!

If I were you, (and personally I just can't wait to do this), I would braid small braids on either side and pin them together in the back. I don't know the name for this style but I just love it.

It will keep your hair out of your face, somewhat out of your way. And you can wear it down.

I haven't had long hair in so long but I would always cut it for similar reasons.

Oh! I remember-- There is another thing I have done with long hair and it looks cool even on fine hair!

Pull it into a low pony tail. Take a small section and twist until the hair collapses unto itself, then scrunch into the back and pin in. Do until you have a really cool looking bun. Your hair will look like long tubular pasta or something. I got tons of compliments whenever I did this, and my hair is pretty fine, but I could create a big bun anyway.

Sorry if these descriptions aren't very good. I just don't know proper names of updos yet. If anyone does know, let me know please! Good luck!!!

January 9th, 2010, 05:31 PM
anneisanne - I've actually decided to upload a new pic after you mentioned length; my hair was much shorter in my old pic. Changing it according to the weather is a good plan - then I'll be forced to vary it! Thanks

florenonite - I hadn't thought of braiding it like that - maybe it would be better than my disastrous lace braid attempt! :D

treesandcoffee - That's very sweet of you to say - thank-you :) I think I can figure out what you mean with your tubular pasta bun ( :D ) I hadn't thought of trying that before, and it sounds cool but elegant. I'll give it a go! :) (Your avatar is lovely, by the way, is it Mucha?)

January 9th, 2010, 06:11 PM
I think I know how you feel. I get the blues about my hair sometimes because I get sick of wearing it bunned, but it tangles like crazy when I wear it down. However, I get more compliments on my braids than anything else, so I've decided to take the time and trouble to do braided styles more often when I'm going to be out and about. I need those compliments!
*hijack* wow another great siggi picture, love the braid and your hair looks amazingly long in that braid *end of hijack*

To op hair is for enjoying, i love wearing mine down, maybe some braids for you too? if your not keen on buns.

January 9th, 2010, 06:55 PM

A thread florenonite started about making the front of updos more interesting.

January 9th, 2010, 07:47 PM
I feel like you sometimes that I don't wear my hair down enough. I'm going to solve this problem by adding more face framing layers and making the hemline more v-shaped. I hope it will be better then.

January 9th, 2010, 07:51 PM
Oh by the way i meant to say, my hair is baby fine, so i do struggle with updos as is... (plus it's short in LHC standards) and I really strongly believe that I can grow it out, keep it healthy, and still wear it down. I've seen it done, so I'm convinced ;)

January 10th, 2010, 08:21 AM
Cheers for that link, misstwist :)

Isilme - your hair is thick and lovely! I'm wondering whether it's quite a common problem to get into the updo habit without questioning whether you really like how it makes your hair look.

SlightlySoprano - my hair is really fine too, I feel your updo pain :) I think I'm definitely going to wear it down more often - I'm just not having fun with it just now.

January 10th, 2010, 10:28 AM
Oh your hair is just so beautiful, the color, the curls...there are special books of hair styles for curly hair...you could do so much with that length! I hope you keep it and just vary it enough to be happy and even proud of your hair...there are lots of half-ups that would keep it back out of your face but leave it flowing around your back...love to see some pic's of what you come up with ! *hugs*