I am so tempted to cut!!!

[BrightEyes]

My shoulder length hair is driving me nuts!!! One minute it looks perfect and the next minute one side is flipping up and the other is going under. And twenty minutes later it just looks like a poufy mess. I am so tempted to cut it!!! But I've done that before and am DETERMINED to be strong!!

Is anyone else in the same boat????? Please... anybody???:waving:

[spidermom]

Don't do it. Long hair is so awesome! Short hair? It's been done (by nearly every other person you see in the real world).

[Thinthondiel]

I wasn't happy with my hair either when it was shoulder length, but I was determined to grow it out, and I'm a lot happier with my hair now. Don't cut! :)

[turtlelover]

Shoulder length is the WORST!!! I like my hair short, and long, but those in between stages are ROUGH. Can you put it up somehow yet for days when it is feeling uncooperative?

[Latin Tea]

I think a good way to resist the urge is to buy something new for your hair, something that will help you get through those days of not liking your hair. I just bought a couple Flexi-8 hairpins. Now I am anxiously awaiting their arrival by mail. :)

If I had not cut my hair last year, it would be waist length by now. Just think a month at a time and don't look too far ahead. Reward yourself for standing firm!

[Willheit]

I was there not too long ago... the akward place where it "sits" on the shoulders. Very hard to get past... I had my DH on scissor watch for months :roll:! Very worth it though for me, now that I'm past it growing is a sinch (well... except for the ACTUAL growing part anyway).

[peachrose]

That was the most awkward length for me too! Don't cut, before you know it you will be at APL. Power through! :)

[Demetrue]

Yep - my 1c/2a shoulder length hair is always flipping up or up and down. If I get one side to look nice, the other side goes crazy, etc. But I know that in 6 months it will be long enough that it won't do that, or at least it won't bother me the way it does now, but if I cut the waves off, then I will have to go through the same transition all over again.

[marikamt]

it is a terrible, terrible stage... HANG IN THERE!!! You will be happy you did..... play around with treatments and products, find some fun styles and hair toys.... but whatever you do DON"T CUT...
you have very pretty hair and it will be gorgeous when it grows!!!

[ButterCup02]

I think that shoulder length is an awkward stage for almost everybody. You can get through it! You will be sooo happy you did once it's longer :)

[BrightEyes]

Thanks everyone so much for your encouragement! And great advice too. I do end up wearing my hair up in a clip or pony tail and it helps me forget about it for awhile. I know from past experience that this is the length that about does me in. But now I feel like I have a lot of support, so I know I can be strong. And now I can come to LHC and admire everyone's beautiful long hair and dream. Grow, hair, grow!!!

[BrightEyes]

I think a good way to resist the urge is to buy something new for your hair, something that will help you get through those days of not liking your hair. I just bought a couple Flexi-8 hairpins. Now I am anxiously awaiting their arrival by mail. :)

If I had not cut my hair last year, it would be waist length by now. Just think a month at a time and don't look too far ahead. Reward yourself for standing firm!

I have been thinking of how fun it would be to buy something, but it seems like my hair is too short for anything other than a pony or boring clip. I can't wait until I can use hairsticks. They are sooo pretty!! Thanks for the advice. I will definitely go shopping for hair toys when I can.

[BrightEyes]

That was the most awkward length for me too! Don't cut, before you know it you will be at APL. Power through! :)

You're hair is so pretty!

[BrightEyes]

Yep - my 1c/2a shoulder length hair is always flipping up or up and down. If I get one side to look nice, the other side goes crazy, etc. But I know that in 6 months it will be long enough that it won't do that, or at least it won't bother me the way it does now, but if I cut the waves off, then I will have to go through the same transition all over again.

That is such a good reminder. I need to remember that.

[BrightEyes]

you have very pretty hair and it will be gorgeous when it grows!!![/quote]

Thank you! I hope it will be gorgeous when it grows!!!:)

[Addy]

If you cut it, you'll be in the same predicament you are in right now, maybe even worse!

Just keep on growing! :)

[Vianka]

I feel your pain and frustration. I'm going through a rather difficult stage myself. I'm getting a bit of the pyramid thing going on right now. My hair is so wavy and flippy and thick on the end it kind of flares out right now. I'm also trying to grow my bangs out and I'm getting the winged look.

Hang in there and do not cut because it will just prolong the torturous (sp?) stage.

[Kunoichi]

My hair does the exact same thing, one side will flip under and the other flips out. Fortunately I can't stand my hair in my face so it's always up. Problem solved. :D

[tralalalara]

Reading your description reminds me of Drew Barrymore in the Wedding Singer! In every single scene, her hair isn't flipping symmetrically. But I'm sure your hair is longer than her's.

Anyway, something that might help the flipping:

Some may shout a resounding "NO" to this, but it's up to you: wispy layers.
You don't have to trim all of your hair, only sections from the ears up, and only trim up to maybe an inch and a half at the shortest points.

It will tone down the flipping since not all of the hair will be "sitting" on your shoulders at once.

This is the first google image I saw that shows what I mean : wispy layers (http://www.more.com/images/photo/image/09/74/photo/974/original/p_hg100668586.jpg)

[HildeMV]

Find some ways to put your hair up. Get/use some hair pretties.

[anneisanne]

Just remember- it'll be totally worth it when your hair is longer and no longer getting in your face.

[Gumball]

Shoulder or a little longer is the point where I started putting it up and I haven't looked back! If you like your hair up that can be a way to not go crazy.

[PeaceWithTrees]

*Slow Motion* Noooo000oooo, Dooo00onnntt Doo0000oooo IIIITT! I didnt like that lenghth either, And I still have the hair on my sides at that lenghth! Grrrrrrr those hairs!!!!!! I can practically hear the scraping and spliting of my hair sweeping across the course fabric on my shoulders! I hate it!!!!!!!! But I just kindly put my hair up in the Brig instead of walking it off the plank....... though I have to admit is tempting, but I only know that if i did that, It would be even harder for me to manage

[feralnature]

Don't cut!

I remember that stage. It made me feel mannish. My hair is bra strap length now and seems so very long :)

[Juneii]

hang in there! I know what you mean and don't worry, once you're past that awkward stage things will get better

[mowo]

Oh, I know very well the pain of shoulder length hair. Now I have exactly the same length and I know how frustrating they can be ;-) . But I promise myself that I will hang on. There is no other option.
After some time You will have long, beautiful hair. It's worth to wait. Don't even think about cut them now!

[misstwist]

Shoulder is kinda the pits.

But, it's the perfect length for a peacock twist. A french twist also works well at shoulder. Both of those can be decorated with hairsticks even if you can't secure the style itself with them.

Two low braids are also cute and a great casual style. You can put it in a low ponytail and draw the the tail up through the bottom, roll it and pin it for a nice chignon. You might be able to do a gibson tuck if your hair isn't too slippy. That's basically the reverse of the chignon I described above.

At shoulder, I would put my hair in a high ponytail, braid it into three or four braids and use those to make a braided bun. If you are in to a casual look you can do a messy bun from a high ponytail.

You can set your hair on rollers to dry and get lots of great body and lift. It will be a bit above shoulder then and I find drying my hair in rollers or pincurled makes it easier to handle because there is a style base to start from. That is, if I just pull it into a half up or a low ponytail it looks more put together and less thrown up just to get it out of the way.

Last but not least, check out the articles section. Here (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=131) are (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=132) some (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=129) links (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=113) to get you started.

Try lots of things before you give up. Good luck!

[Fairlight63]

What got me through that length is to put on a headband and grab the back into a ponytail & put in a scrunchie until it gets long enough to do fancier updo's. Don't even look at your hair, just put it up & ignore it for a few months & before you know it your hair will be long & out of the awkard stage.
JUST DON'T CUT IT! Then you will be starting all over again.

[Leena7]

I think you should try to play up the asymmetrical flips and make your hair looks stylishly messy. You could try to fluff it around at is it drying to encourage a little waviness.

If this doesn't work well for you, at least your hair will be out of the shoulder length stage in a few months!

[rags]

Misstwist beat me to it - I lived in a peacock twist at shoulder. And braids are adorable with hair that length.

Shoulder is a horrible stage and where I would always chop my hair off too. But if you can get past it, it gets much better! Put it up and forget it! You can do it!

[BrightEyes]

Thanks again everyone for all the advice. I actually have my hair up right now and it's so nice to just ignore it. I think that I will definitely be wearing it up more while it is at this awkward stage. Hopefully in a few months it won't bug me so much being down.

What is a peacock twist? There are so many new things I'm learning, I love it!!!

[mowo]

Thanks again everyone for all the advice. I actually have my hair up right now and it's so nice to just ignore it. I think that I will definitely be wearing it up more while it is at this awkward stage. Hopefully in a few months it won't bug me so much being down.

What is a peacock twist? There are so many new things I'm learning, I love it!!!

I always understand peacock twist as something like that ;)

http://media.photobucket.com/image/peacock%20twist/decorativediva/DD%20Blog/medium_ab_peacock_twist.jpg

It's quite easy to do it and even comfortable. :D

[klcqtee]

Some people claim that just above shoulder length is the most "awkward" length. For me, just below shoulder length is the most awkward. I understand, it flips and poofs and twists and is all kinds of horrible.

That beings said: Don't cut it yet!

Shoulder to collar bone was 2-3 months, collar bone to APL was about 4 months for me, APL to solid BSL should be about 5 (I have 3 hairs that reach BSL!). Just think, in less than a year, you could have BSL hair! Do you really want to cut it now? Less than a year! Think about it! Wouldn't it be great to go see your relatives for Christmas, and hear "Wow, your hair is so long now!" If your hair grows faster than average, this could be what you have to look forward to, or more length! (I'm about an average grower, I believe).

[misstwist]

For the newbies in the thread. . . Hair Style Dictionary (http://hairstyledictionary.ztn.net/).

Remember, you don't have to use the tools pictured in any given tutorial or video. Use what you have and make it work for you.

:flowers:

[BrightEyes]

I always understand peacock twist as something like that ;)

http://media.photobucket.com/image/peacock%20twist/decorativediva/DD%20Blog/medium_ab_peacock_twist.jpg

It's quite easy to do it and even comfortable. :D

Hey that's actually similar to how my hair is now, without the cute accessories!!!!

[Cimorene]

Oh, I feel your pain. :( My hair is just now inching past my shoulders, and in the past, it's shoulder-length frustration that has made me chop it all off. And I regretted it EVERY TIME! Hang in there!

The one thing that has worked for me this time around is putting it back in a low-ish ponytail and forgetting about it. Seriously. If I leave it down, I'm constantly brushing/touching/fooling with/being aggravated by it. Also, I'm growing out some layers, so short braids don't work, and I'm not that skilled at creative updos (YET!). So I invested in some satin-y scrunchies, and unless it's a special occasion, I just slap my hair back in the mornings and go.

Keeping my hair off my shoulders is also what allowed me to survive the hot southern U.S. summer without reaching for the scissors.

Anyway, keep your eyes on the prize! It'll be worth the wait! :flower:

[BrightEyes]

Some people claim that just above shoulder length is the most "awkward" length. For me, just below shoulder length is the most awkward. I understand, it flips and poofs and twists and is all kinds of horrible.

That beings said: Don't cut it yet!

Shoulder to collar bone was 2-3 months, collar bone to APL was about 4 months for me, APL to solid BSL should be about 5 (I have 3 hairs that reach BSL!). Just think, in less than a year, you could have BSL hair! Do you really want to cut it now? Less than a year! Think about it! Wouldn't it be great to go see your relatives for Christmas, and hear "Wow, your hair is so long now!" If your hair grows faster than average, this could be what you have to look forward to, or more length! (I'm about an average grower, I believe).

I would so love my relatives to "ooh and ahh" over how long my hair is. That has NEVER happened before!! Unfortunately, I think it'll take me longer to get to BSL. I highlight/color my hair and blowdry (I am trying to reduce how often, but I don't think I can completely quit). So I feel like I need to get a little trim every 8-12 weeks. I have a really good stylist who only cuts 1/4 inch every time. My hair grows pretty slow, so I'm thinking that I'll reach APL by Nov/Dec of this year. I hate to think of how much longer it'll take to get to BSL:mad:. This is definitely going to be a lession in patience for me (sigh). But I know I'll love it in the end.

[BrightEyes]

Oh, I feel your pain. :( My hair is just now inching past my shoulders, and in the past, it's shoulder-length frustration that has made me chop it all off. And I regretted it EVERY TIME! Hang in there!

The one thing that has worked for me this time around is putting it back in a low-ish ponytail and forgetting about it. Seriously. If I leave it down, I'm constantly brushing/touching/fooling with/being aggravated by it. Also, I'm growing out some layers, so short braids don't work, and I'm not that skilled at creative updos (YET!). So I invested in some satin-y scrunchies, and unless it's a special occasion, I just slap my hair back in the mornings and go.

Keeping my hair off my shoulders is also what allowed me to survive the hot southern U.S. summer without reaching for the scissors.

Anyway, keep your eyes on the prize! It'll be worth the wait! :flower:

It's so reassuring to know there are others in the same boat!

[Fiferstone]

Hairbands helped me through this stage. I hated the hair flipping into my eyes. As others have said power through it. I started at shoulder length, and am now at hip. And it took a grand total of 6-10 years to get there given the occasional chops at BSL. I would caution against whispy layers. Layers are a royal pain in the patootie to grow out. You have fewer awkward stages with blunt cuts, IMHO.

[ItsMyHair]

Yep. Same boat here. Not only that, but mine is layered AND curly. And, I'm growing out my silver. Literally nothing looks nice right now. But, I just tell myself it won't look any nicer if I cut it either.