Apparently my curls are unsexy and childish

[MotherConfessor]

Snarl! I just had a friend tell me I needed to try to flatten out my hair, because, you know, curls just are not sexy or serious. Apparently, boys will not like my hair unless its flat ironed or at least taken down to a wave. I know she did not mean it as a nasty thing, she is just one of those who spits out whatever she thinks, and she thought she was helping. I have accepted this quality about her and most of the time it just rolls off, but I am hypersensitive about my hair. It has taken me years to get past hating it and finally learning to love it. I glared pointedly and just told her that I love having my "wild woman curls" as she called them, and had no intention of changing them. She apologized and moved on, but I am still smarting from it. Especially combined with that stupid, biased article about how curls change how people perceive you and the fact that my hair has chosen now to start tangling and loosing shine. I know that its stupid, but I just cant seem to let it go.

[Xandergrammy]

I'm so sorry that your "friend" has upset you so much. Some people are mean-spirited and just can't help themselves. I know for a fact that there are many men who do find curls sexy and serious, or seriously sexy!! Be yourself and try to let the nasty comments roll of your back. She's a follower sheep who doesn't know any better. :flowers:

[MotherConfessor]

I'm trying. I will let it go eventually, it just rankles me more than I expected. Especially since I am not "looking" at the moment, and if I was I would not be looking for someone who did not think that my natural hair was attractive.

[ArienEllariel]

I'm trying. I will let it go eventually, it just rankles me more than I expected. Especially since I am not "looking" at the moment, and if I was I would not be looking for someone who did not think that my natural hair was attractive.

I can relate. I've been self concious about my hair as well and the last thing either of us need is someone telling us that what we were given naturally should be avoided (of course, we both have vastly different hair types). Friends used to tell me I should cut my hair, straighten, etc. in such a way as to make me feel I wasn't attractive the way I was. It's taken me a while to realize that my hair is great just as it is. :)

I don't know where your friend got her information. The last I checked, curls were something to be achieved because guys found them attractive. You keep holding out for the right person, someone who will love you for who you are and try not to pay any mind to your friend's blunt comments. I have to learn to do the same thing. Sometimes my relatives will say things as well that really irk me. I just have to take their options/advice with a grain of salt and remember that I don't have to agree with what they say.

[SimplyViki]

Haha. I find amusement in the fact that she calls them "wild-woman curls" and also "childish". :rolleyes: Personally, I think "wild woman" implies sexy.

[BranwenWolf]

I think curls are very touchable...yes, I'm one of the nerds that likes to gently pull and watch it spring back...but I don't do that unless I am sure the curl-bearer is comfortable.
I'm sure some men think curls are touchable, too.
Some people have no concept of what comes out of their mouths.

[fleurdelis]

Ehm....I always considered (and consider) curls to be the most sexy style hair can ever be in! I am also very sensitive about my hair now...

[LawyerGirl]

If that was true they wouldnt sell curlers or curling irons ;)

My brother was born with super curly hair, and mine is pretty straight. I was always sooo jealous. I'm glad you love your curls, I know so many that would love them (me included)!

[aksown]

Have you ever seen a movie (rated G-R) where the guy buries his hands in a chick's flat-ironed hair? Nope, usually it's curly and bouncy and SEXY!!
I'm glad you are embracing your natural style. This world has too few natural curlies who let it go "wild". (One of my best friends is one! :p)

[suicides_eve]

i would have told that "friend" to stick it up there &^%. Who are they? the hair police? Why in the world are movie stars spending $$$ on curling their hair and going so far as to wear wigs to achieve that look? Because it's sexy.


Sounds like a bit of Jealousy to me. <throws hands up> i'm just saying:whistle:..

[Tovah]

I just recently started to embrace my curls. I got incredible compliments at work and my DH absolutely loves it and doesn't want me to wear my hair up any more because he likes it loose and curly. Honestly, I'm still a bit self conscientious but I'm trying to deal with that.

I know how you feel about friends' 'honesty'. Maybe you should read that as envy. Just yesterday a friend of mine rolled her eyes when I told her that I didn't intend to cut my hair and admonished me that if I let it go gray, that I will look very dowdy and have to wear tons of makeup to compensate. Again, I have gotten compliments on the color growing in-almost white framing my face and darker in the back-even from DH.

Do you think he's just trying to get on my good side? ;)

[RocketDog]

While artificially straightened hair can be gorgeous (that mirror-like sheen, that perfect draping, the flowiness!), to me it doesn't scream 'throw me over your shoulder and take me to the bedroom' like a headful of natural, wild waves and curls does... probably because maintaining a headful of flatironed hair is so high-maintenance!

Sounds to me like your friend is jealous!

[GoddesJourney]

Wild woman hair is my dream! I married a guy with hair like that in hopes that my daughters will inherit the trait. As for your friend... sucker! How mainstream. Men have always loved long bouncy curls on a woman.

[apynip]

Curls are sexy just plain and simple. Especially natural curls.

Some of teh most beautiful people i know have curly hair. and besides you can be having a birds nest hairday and think you look horrible and just pin it up then end up getting compliments all day. It happens to my friend who has spring curls

[twilight_faerie]

Wow, that's ridiculous. I know lots of people with straight hair who do all sorts of crazy stuff to try to get their hair curly, because they think straight hair is boring. I bet she's just trying to push her hair insecurities onto someone else, and you just happened to be the person she chose. How thoughtful.

[little_acorn]

I agree with the other comments sounds like jealousy to me - I'd love curls!!

[Sweetness]

I bet she's just trying to push her hair insecurities onto someone else

I totally agree !

[Gypsy]

Sound like someone was gulping on some Hater-ade.
When a wildly sexy woman is portrayed in film and books, they always have riotous or bouncing curls or waves.
Straight *is* very beautiful but I think curls and deep waves invoke erotic thoughts.

[Imoness]

Are you sure she's not just jealous of your curls?

Calling them "Wild-woman curls," and then calling them childish makes no sense. o.o

[hazelnut]

Well your "friend" obviously doesn't know what she is talking about either that or she's just flat out jealous. I think curls are the sexiest thing on a man or a woman. I don't know why, but when I see a person with curly hair I think "the adventurous type." I don't know why. There's just something drop dead sexy about them. And I will be honored when my hair grows out and I can rock whatever curl I have. All hair, no matter what type, is beautiful. I would just ignore your friend. I posted something a few weeks back about something ignorant my friend said too. Just let it roll off your back. You've got better things to do than deal with someone else's insecurities.

[Toadstool]

there are religions that insist women cover up their curls because they are too "sexy".
It's just one person's opinion. I think if you are still angry you could tell her you'd like her not to male personal comments from now on.

[30isthenewblack]

It takes a woman with a strong, confident personality to show off curls so you need to bounce these comments off you, shake out your hair out and move on. At the least your friend apologised even though her comments were rude and insensitive. I know what is it like to be subjected to these comments. My neighbour who had naturally curly hair down to her hip chemically straightened her hair, dyed it blonde (it was black) and chopped into a bob. Then she got hair extensions and suggested I visit her hairdresser. I was really insulted and suggested that we don't talk about hair ever again. To be honest with you, I kind of don't mind that most people chemically straighten their curls in Australia because I look unique by default and if a guy doesn't like my curls, he can get stuffed basically.

[Unofficial_Rose]

OK, lets think of a few famously unsexy curlies:

Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman
Andie Macdowell in Groundhog Day and Four Weddings and a Funeral (not the stoopid L'Or&#233;al ads)
Diana Ross
Cher in The Witches of Eastwick
Nicole Kidman in her earlier films

There are plenty more. I mean, these women weren't considered sexy at all, right? :p

In fact, long curly wild gypsy hair was extremely in for the 70's. I'd love to have hair like that.

It's a recent fad, straight hair. Don't get me wrong, swishy straight hair is gorgeous too, but not the only form of gorgeousness as people seem to think these days. My grandmother's generation slept in curlers and considered naturally curly hair to be a blessing. Funny old world, isn't it?

[Aer]

I agree with SimplyViki. Looking like a wild woman is very attractive to men. I know because I asked my guys friends some questions awhile back. To sum up, my "The Institute Of Aer's Scientific Study of the Preferences of the Male Gender," men generally like hair that is free, wild, and the woman's natural style. A lot of my friends said they loved curly hair on women.

I think your friend was either jealous (who isn't envious of the ladies and gentlemen of TLHC?) or not very hip to what guys like. I'm sorry she took a swipe st your hair like that, but you can be reassured, that it is a total misconception that men hate curly hair. I know this, remember: I have science backing me. :cool:





Haha. I find amusement in the fact that she calls them "wild-woman curls" and also "childish". :rolleyes: Personally, I think "wild woman" implies sexy.

[Dreams_in_Pink]

if curls are out of style, why stuff like curlformers, curling thongs, spiral rods, perming etc. are SO in?

everybody loves what they don't have.

[freckles]

I have pin-straight hair, and much as I love it ... I will sleep in rollers before an event when I want to look REALLY glamorous and sexy, because curls are WONDERFUL. I am at peace with my natural hair texture and generally enjoy it, but I definitely suffer from curl envy and I'm not ashamed to say it. :D Enjoy your curls, because they're gorgeous. :blossom:

[Pixna]

Haha. I find amusement in the fact that she calls them "wild-woman curls" and also "childish". :rolleyes: Personally, I think "wild woman" implies sexy.

I totally agree!!! Me thinks this "friend" has some powerful envy going on.

[katha]

I agree with everyone saying that curls are great.

I'd like to add that it isn't exactly accurate to say "guys like [x]" or "guys like [y]".. generalizations (?!) are always wrong. There are men who love curly hair and there are men who love straight hair. And there are men or at least one who loves YOU no matter how you're wearing your hair. And that's the one who's opinion counts. :)

[linda g]

I agree with everyone saying that curls are great.

I'd like to add that it isn't exactly accurate to say "guys like [x]" or "guys like [y]".. generalizations (?!) are always wrong. There are men who love curly hair and there are men who love straight hair. And there are men or at least one who loves YOU no matter how you're wearing your hair. And that's the one who's opinion counts. :)

This is very wise!

ETA: And more important than "what men like" is what YOU like.

[Dreamernz]

Oh don't you worry about her, curly hair is the sexiest there is. I would love naturally curly hair precisely because it is so sexy and feminine. What I smell is a green slice of jealousy pie!

[PhillyGirl1978@]

Are you kidding! My hair is so much sexier now then when I straightened. I wasn't fooling anybody, you could tell that it wasn't straight naturally. It's shinier, way healthier and so much longer than it was. It moves naturally now and guys love my curls!!! They are wild, untameable...very sexy! Don't listen to her.

[Bonkers57]

Amazing how people's perceptions change with fashion! One day curls will be back "in" again as they were before and people with straight hair won't "look right." I remember watching "What Not to Wear" (the A&E version) and they kept harping on all the pairs of jeans that tapered at the ankles and how gross they looked. (They found at least one pair of those in each contestant's closet.) Now jeans with skinny ankles are fashionable again! I'll bet WNTW is saying how flattering they are and how everyone should wear them now.

My point is to not take what your "friend" or what any stupid magazine article said too hard. They'll be saying the opposite in a year or so. :)



Snarl! I just had a friend tell me I needed to try to flatten out my hair, because, you know, curls just are not sexy or serious. Apparently, boys will not like my hair unless its flat ironed or at least taken down to a wave. I know she did not mean it as a nasty thing, she is just one of those who spits out whatever she thinks, and she thought she was helping. I have accepted this quality about her and most of the time it just rolls off, but I am hypersensitive about my hair. It has taken me years to get past hating it and finally learning to love it. I glared pointedly and just told her that I love having my "wild woman curls" as she called them, and had no intention of changing them. She apologized and moved on, but I am still smarting from it. Especially combined with that stupid, biased article about how curls change how people perceive you and the fact that my hair has chosen now to start tangling and loosing shine. I know that its stupid, but I just cant seem to let it go.

[YoginiCelestial]

i would have told that "friend" to stick it up there &^&#37;. Who are they? the hair police? Why in the world are movie stars spending $$$ on curling their hair and going so far as to wear wigs to achieve that look? Because it's sexy.


Sounds like a bit of Jealousy to me. <throws hands up> i'm just saying:whistle:..


I second what suicides_eye said!!!

[DARKMARTIAN]

Okay IM a guy..........and while I cannot speak for all of them. I can tell you IMO......you should have nothing at all to worry about. Ive seen some very beautiful women and hair with curls and waves and all manner of everything else. And even if you dont wanna believe one lone guy, then at least take it from 34 supportive posts from people who are here to talk about hair and its many facets.

As far as your friends opinion.....well, there are better ways of relaying such a thing. If one is truly concerned about something regarding a friend then there is nothing wrong in letting them know. But just realize that the manner in which that opinion was delivered is what is TRULY, childish and unsexy.......;). Curls are beautiful........:)

[marikamt]

If that was true they wouldnt sell curlers or curling irons ;)

My brother was born with super curly hair, and mine is pretty straight. I was always sooo jealous. I'm glad you love your curls, I know so many that would love them (me included)!

hahaha.... LOVE that....

I find curls very sexy... wish I had 'em! I love them on either sex.... my DH has curly hair (as do the niece and nephew on his side) and I am soooo jealous.... I always want him to grow his hair out a little longer so they "boing" (of course he never does.....).... I hope if we have kids they get his hair!

[kmoc123]

I would tell your friend that YOU need a NEW friend...don't listen to her jealous rantings....

[GlassEyes]

I honestly wouldn't say she's jealous, exactly. Or envious, as is the proper term (though the two are so melded I can't be bothered by it too often).

Society, especially among those who are younger, values straight hair these days. It's juts the way things go. The way her friend acted just reflects that. That's not to say that there's anything wrong with curly hair, it can stilll look great, but there are still certain people who see it and think 'she needs a flat iron'. It's along the same lines as those people who describe curls as frizz (which PISSES me off to no end).

ARGH.

[Dolly]

Society, especially among those who are younger, values straight hair these days. It's juts the way things go.


And when I was young, everyone was perming their hair into oblivion....I did it myself, for years....

Now, I just do what I want, and don't worry about what others think.....if I want wild woman curls, I sleep in rollers.....but my natural straight hair is just fine too....be yourself, and wear your hair the way YOU want it.....

[InTheCity]

Can you say Victoria's Secret runway show?
Almost all of the models had wavy/curly (albeit fake) hair and you find me a boy in his mid-20's who wouldn't fawn over them?

Boys like all kinds of hair, period.

[Fractalsofhair]

Well, curly hair is unfashionable right now.(Sadly.) Depending on the people you hang out with, I've heard curls/waves described as everything from outdated to unhygienic and pretty much everything in between. I honestly don't get what the big deal is, since I think curls look awesome.

As so far as guys, I don't think most honestly care about what is fashionable this season or hair as long as it's not so fried it looks bad, like felt or something.(From processing alone, some people can get that look. It looks bad, and to be honest, I'm not shocked my guy friends noticed it, even though they have a hard time noticing much else. If you bleach the full length of your hair, every 2 weeks, for a couple of months or so, with 40 volume peroxide, flat iron several times daily with no "oil" ie, heat protectant, shampoo 2x daily with no conditioner and with the harshest shampoo you can find, get a harsh chemical straightener on fine, wavy(Maybe 2b) at the most hair, wear it down all the time, don't use anything to protect it when you sleep, and brush when wet, you do notice a few people with really fried hair. Not all the women in my area have hair that is THAT fried, but there are a few that have hair that looks that bad. With extensions, I wouldn't doubt a few matts exist. Even with this treatment, not everyone has fried hair that looks that bad. But there are a good number.) Some guys do, but most generally do seem to have the stance that anything but really baggy clothes looks good on females.

Admittedly, my guy friends are nerds to a degree that we're lucky if they aren't wearing a bathrobe to school(yep, actually happened. He tried to play it off as a "rogue" outfit. I honestly think he just forgot.), so they probably don't know that much about fashion compared to even the average guy. They seem to like medieval/vintagey Victorian looks, and I know most guys don't. I really don't hear many of my male friends commenting on hair other than to say "Woah, your hair looks really shiny", or occasionally to ask for advice, as a good number of them have shoulder length hair(5 or so out of 15?) because I do have a lower maintenance hair routine compared to a lot of females.

I do think most guys do prefer somewhat straightish hair, since curly hair is often coated in gel (In my town among the few women that don't relax/straighten their hair.)and guys are afraid they'll mess it up if they touch it more than straightened hair, plus it's rarer. They don't generally say things like that though. I really don't think guys dislike curly hair that looks soft.

I would make a feminist comment here about how the standard of beauty is oppressive to women at times, but I'd rather avoid annoying people, so I won't.

[bumblebums]

"Ask your girl friend for advice, then do the opposite." An old Russian saying.

[Yozhik]

Haha, Bumblebums, I've never heard that one before!

I adore curls and the volume they give to one's hair. Don't listen to what your friend says. She may have genuinely been trying to offer you advice (like mine the other day who told me to cut my hair that I've been painstakingly trying to grow out! eek!), however misguided it may be.

I love your avatar, by the way :)

[spidermom]

Sorry to hear that your friend has been sucking sour grapes; it sure made some weird stuff come out of her mouth.

[Emerson]

Are you kidding? She must have straight hair (like me!) It sounds like jealousy....I know *I* feel jealous when I see someone with long, curly hair... ;) Curls are gorgeous and beautiful, don't listen to her.

[Teacherbear]

I'm sorry to hear her words were so cutting. Personally, I love this phrase: wild woman curls!

My hubby referred to me as "that wild woman" before we'd actually met, so that phrase always makes me smile. Add the "curls" comment to it and it describes my hair when I haven't brushed/combed it all day, but have been wearing it down. It is a mess . . . but I like it!

More power to the Wild Woman Curls!

[30isthenewblack]

I do think most guys do prefer somewhat straightish hair, since curly hair is often coated in gel (In my town among the few women that don't relax/straighten their hair.)and guys are afraid they'll mess it up if they touch it more than straightened hair, plus it's rarer. They don't generally say things like that though. I really don't think guys dislike curly hair that looks soft.

I do think this is somewhat true. A lot of men's idea of romance is to run their fingers through a woman's hair which they can't do easily with curly hair. However, I think it comes down to ignorance of curly hair and what it takes to maintain it. I do think a lot of men are becoming smarter and also starting to realise how high maintenance women can be who need to keep on blow drying or ironing their hair straight and if you ever get close to these women who do this regularly, you can see at least one inch of split ends which in my mind is very unattractive.

At the end of the day, I would want to be with a man who is more conversant with my culture and has an appreciation of women with exotic looks like mine and this is quite controversial but I'll put it out there ... I don't want to be with a man who wants me to Angolicise my looks in order to live up to his standards of beauty. Unlike others on this board who have curly hair and have resigned themselves to it or straighten their hair occasionally, I have never straightened my hair or wished I had straight hair. My hair is a sign of my heritage and my mother's and grandother's struggles before me and having curly hair is staying true to myself and true to my culture.

[Sissy]

aww, sorry that happened to you! I know many beautiful people with curly hair and I think it's lovely. You want a guy to like you for who you are anways, not for being something you aren't. I would really try to let it roll off, you know if your heart, from participating here that what she's saying is not true.

[Fractalsofhair]

30isthenewblack-Yep. I think it's is ignorance of hair care. Gel can't hide everything.(Excessive that is.) My mum has curly hair and doesn't use any product in it, other than she uses conditioner when she washes it after shampooing and doesn't brush after. Light gel helps some people,but using a ton of it just looks off, IMO. One may have different degrees of products they have to use to get defined curls, if they can. I have a lot of family members with curly hair(Jew fros... My favorite phrase xD), and a sorta boyfriend with very curly hair, and you can run your fingers thru it.

My guy friends honestly get a little bit confused by hair straighteners, because there are women with naturally straight hair. (My hair is mostly straight. It occasionally decides to be wavy or curly depending on it's mood of the day.) I have nothing wrong with playing around with my hair's appearance occasionally, but flat ironing for special occasions is something that does annoy me(partially because my aunt expects it. She has curly hair, and dislikes it a lot, even on other people.), and also because of the idea that curly hair isn't formal enough. Straightening it because a look you like looks best with straight hair is one thing.Being expected to straighten it is another story. I'm not sure how many guys can tell about split ends with ease. The guys I know can't tell hair as being damaged unless it looks like felt in terms of being fried. I do understand how you'd like a guy to respect and honor your heritage. If a guy expected me to get a perm, I'd feel the same way. (Though, I do wish my hair would decide on it's look. Curly, wavy, straight and such.)

[SHELIAANN1969]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, different folks find different traits desirable, I guess you will attract the ones who think curly is where it's at! :blossom:

[30isthenewblack]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, different folks find different traits desirable, I guess you will attract the ones who think curly is where it's at! :blossom:

Exactly! And if your friends, family or partner don't love your hair choice whether it's curly, wurly or straight, then that's not a good sign as far as I'm concerned. It's one of my red flags if someone wants to make you change your appearance. People should love you for who you are, warts and all.

[Kris Dove]

I have straight hair, and had it permed years ago because I thought curls were sexy (perming fried my hair, though I heat curl it special occasions these days). Curls are totally sexy, so ignore your silly friend.

[BelleBot]

Your friend is foolish and ignorant. She's obviously very narrow minded if only straight hair is sexy, I suppose it has to be a certain colour and length too?

I'd love to have curls, my hair is poker straight and boring. It takes me hours to put curls in my hair and they usually drop out in less time than it takes to create them. Curls can be incredibly sexy, far sexier than straight hair. I'm ridiculously jealous of people with natural ringlets, curls and body, my boyfriend has hair like that, it's gorgeous, yet he's jealous of mine as it's straight. Go figure! There will always be people who are jealous of what you've got and everyone has different preferences.

If she wants you to change it's her problem and she needs to be told where to shove it.
"Wild woman curls" sound ace by the way, kinda fiery! ;)

[StrongWall]

I love curly/wavy hair. It seems more fun and full of life than straight.

[curlylocks85]

It took me many years as well to finally come to terms with my natural curls. I was teased in school about my hair. I just did not know how to care for it in those days.

As far as men's opinions about hair go, you will find they vary greatly from one man to the next. The most important lesson here is that YOU are comfortable with your hair. If you feel beautiful and love the way you look, hair and all, you will discover others opinions are just that, opinions.

I agree with you DARKMARTIAN, "curls are beautiful!"

[SlightlySoprano]

I have decently curly hair, and my boyfriend HATES it when i straighten it! He says he loves my curls because they're never the same. They're unique, like me he says. I've been with him over 2 years. Obviously, somebody loves me, even though I have curly hair:crush:

[Teacherbear]

I've been thinking about this and I think I want to add "Wild Woman Curls" into my siggy!

[camirra555]

"Ask your girl friend for advice, then do the opposite." An old Russian saying.

Haha. I like that saying.

OP I know how you feel. I spent years straightening my hair before I finally became comfortable with my curls. I love them now though. Whenever I go out to a party of something I always wear my hair all "wild woman-ish". I'm sensitive to negative comments about my curls too. At my last job a fellow curly (who straightens frequently) said "don't you get bored wearing your hair curly all the time?" Keep in mind she always talked about how she was trying to grow her hair...

[Vianka]

Ack! Not very thoughtful of your friend to say that. She probably didn't say it to be mean, but...
It's kind of silly to say that guys only like straight hair. If that was true then we'd only have naturally straight haired people in the world.

She's probably a trend follower and those flat ironed hairstyle with the layers are in, but in my opinion natural and healthy hair is always in style whether it be curly, wavy, or straight.

[klcqtee]

I think curls are very touchable...yes, I'm one of the nerds that likes to gently pull and watch it spring back...but I don't do that unless I am sure the curl-bearer is comfortable.


I sproing curls too! I love putting my hair in pin curls because I can sproing my own hair alllllll day!

If I want to pull someone else's curls, I of course, always ask permission. :D

[blondecat]

I perm my Mum's hair every few months.

And

I've even permed mine, just to get CURLS. Yah.... CURLS I love Em :)

[janedoe0]

I think that's a pretty silly comment. I have very straight hair and I'm always admiring and trying to touch my friends' curly hair. (With their permission of course!) Curly hair is sexy and unique...just look at how special Taylor Swift looks with her curls. Also, aren't "wild woman" and "childish" inherently contradictory?

As for your friend, try to forgive her and not get mad. It sounds like she didn't know it would upset you and was just trying to "help", though perhaps not in the most tactful way.

[AgnesONutter]

I've always, always wished for curls! I'm so envious with people who have natural curly hair. I loved my hair the one time I was given a professional perm, with mixed larger and smaller very natural looking, soft curls. Though, did not like it growing out again and the damage it did to my hair. If there was a way to get curly hair without damaging it, I would opt for curls all the time. So don't you mind your friend, people have different tastes. So do men.

[VenusHalley]

I as well always longed for curls. My hair is kind of wavy in very messy way.

I don't get the fashion of straightened hair. Hair loses volume when straightened... I admire big, wild and volumeous (if that is a word) hair.

[30isthenewblack]

:cool: I just watched Millionaire Matchmaker ... she is so anti-curly hair but I think it's a blessing in disguise for curlies. The millionaires featured on the show are just so creepy and ageist and the women she chooses are just cheap in my opinion. She wants them to show off their legs and breasts and has no real conception of what beauty is.

[Babyfine]

I permed my 2a hair to 3b curls for 20 years to get body and volume(my last perm was in early 2001) I only quit when I started coloring my greys.
I never had any problems getting dates or landing my wonderful husband, who loved my hair curly. I would be perming my hair now-but it's very damaging to my hair and my hair is much healthier and shinier now in it's natural state.
I think curls are beautiful and envy women with naturally curly hair, I wish my hair was naturally curlier.

[Gothic Lolita]

What a silly comment! Every texure has it's beauty and sexyness, if you want.

My hair is dead-straight but my BF (who practically dies evertime I let my hair down) likes me hair even more when I take it out of a bun and it's slightly wavy anda little messy. Meaning, not looking polished or a serious as a tight bun.

[Angellen]

I think waves and curls are gorgeous and a lot of women I know would look amazing with their hair in its natural state!

My hair is mostly straight and it is very nice indeed. But when its got deep bun waves or sproingy curls in it...I feel unstoppable on days like those.

Try not to pay her too much attention, and continue to love your hair the way it is!

[Sammich]

I've always thought of curls as very sexy, for example, during Zorro, I think Catherine Zeta Jones has curly/very wavy hair? I always thought of that as sexy and longed for the curls! I've never had proper curls before! (Except when I was younger I got it permed, TWICE, but that ended badly... Poofyness galore!)

[faeflame]

I don't think there is one single standard for sexy- some people go for curly hair and others for straight, some like tall ladies and some like petite ones, some guys like blondes and others brunettes, etc. As long as YOU are happy with yourself, that is all that matters!

[CaliRose]

Sometimes I think it's silly how open people feel about commenting on what other people should do with their hair. I bet they wouldn't feel so open about saying they'd look sexier if they gained or lost five pounds, or grew or shrunk three inches...even though those things are just as natural and varying from person to person as hair. Yet, we're always hearing what cut, color, texture, style would look better. *shrug*

[embee]

Look at the Romance Novel covers... those women all have waves and curls.... and so do many of the guys. And they're supposed to be sexy.

Flaunt those curls, they're fine. :)

[Gvnagitlvgei]

. Especially combined with that stupid, biased article about how curls change how people perceive you and the fact that my hair has chosen now to start tangling and loosing shine. I know that its stupid, but I just cant seem to let it go.

Um, it's actually true. Ask Black women, the queens of curly. But you're right, do YOU. Many people just let it go as it goes and let those who judge take a long walk on a short pier. Intolerance is unforgiveable. But hating on curly heads is just plain stupid lol.

[Bellona]

It's rude when someone tells you to change your hair in general. I definitely feel that when my hair is "curly" (it's actually just really wavy with some spirals) people at work don't take me as seriously.

Curls are sexy though. Look at all the hair and fashion magazines -- they'll all tell you how to get tousled, sexy curls. Didn't the main character of sex and the city have curly hair? Besides, I always say if a man wants a girl with straight hair, he needs to find someone else :)

[Shicurls]

Flat hair is a fad like perms were for years. The "in" thing is always changing. Embrace who you were created to be. "Sexy" is so subjective. Straight haired women are just as sexy are curly girls! It sounds like your "friend" is like a former friend of mine. She would put me down all the time. Especially my hair! She had beautiful straight hair, and I have beautiful curly hair. She constantly criticized my hair. Constantly. Strangely enough, she was the one who permed her hair for years! Which just went to show that she was uncomfortable in her own skin, and had to build herself up by putting me down. I say chalk it up to jealousy and ignorance and try to let it go.

[Lassie]

i know its tough to ignore such commenst and i know they make you think and ponder...you will forget in time...

i think that curls are the sexiest thing a women can do with her hair...its how i love my hair best!

[Fiferstone]

Snarl! I just had a friend tell me I needed to try to flatten out my hair, because, you know, curls just are not sexy or serious.
:poot:
Oh really? Then why do people pay serious money on perms, appliances, curlers and other devices to put curls into straight hair?


Apparently, boys will not like my hair unless its flat ironed or at least taken down to a wave.
OK, so this means that boys would not like Julia Louis Dreyfus, Bernadette Peters, etc. etc., you get the idea


I glared pointedly and just told her that I love having my "wild woman curls" as she called them, and had no intention of changing them.

Good on you!


I am still smarting from it. Especially combined with that stupid, biased article about how curls change how people perceive you, and the fact that my hair has chosen now to start tangling and loosing shine. I know that its stupid, but I just cant seem to let it go.

Aw MotherConfessor, any number of things that are appearance related will change how people in general perceive you, from your weight to your height to the general symmetry or lack thereof of facial features, etc., etc., it gets depressing just thinking about it. In the face of such onslaught, all we can really do to preserve a healthy self-image and our self-esteem is to find something we love, about each aspect of ourselves. You're learning to love your hair in its natural state, and I say again good for you.:flower: Please, do not let those who have elected to drink untold gallons of beauty industry Koolaid and become mindless zombies as a result of that consumption get the better of you. People who spout the conventional wisdom often say illogical things within a breath of one another (such as the "your curls are not sexy"..."your curls are wild woman curls" statement you allude to in the above).

[Pixna]

Please, do not let those who have elected to drink untold gallons of beauty industry Koolaid and become mindless zombies as a result of that consumption get the better of you.

That statement is definitely worth quoting. Excellent comment (I'll have to remember it)!! :beerchug:

[MotherConfessor]

Thanks guys, after reading all that was posted I remembered why I love rocking my "wild woman curls" and I gave my hair a nice deep treatment and let it go completely wild. I did look like I should be wearing a loincloth and holding a spear and I absolutely loved it. Incidentally, I also got five hair complements from complete strangers. It probably had more to do with the fact that I was really loving my hair right then, but it was a lovely cherry on top anyway. Thanks so much, you guys remind me why I decided to love my hair instead of being like my friend and trying to make it something it is not. I am not even upset about it anymore, if anything I feel bad for her. She has wavy curly hair and spends time everyday flat ironing it into submission and feels insecure anytime her hair's natural texture shows through. I think I will make it a point to compliment her natural hair the next time she is feeling down because its gone native on her.

Also, Fiferstone, I am not going to be able to look at anyone torturing themselves to look like a magaizne model without thinking "Koolaide Zombie" ever again. Love it!

[Arctic_Mama]

I agree with so many other posters on here - curls are the epitome of sexy to a TON of people, and not childish at all. There's so many guys who love curly hair, that it wouldn't make sense that you'd some how lose all dating appeal by waiting to be with one who liked your hair as is. They ARE out there!

[rchorr]

It's funny, when my hair was straighter, I was told I "should get a perm." Pregancy curled my hair. I've not yet hear that I should straighten it, but I'm waiting.

Sometimes, I think people put their mouth in gear w/o 1st engaging their brain! Give yourself a little time. It's always easier to laugh (or shrug) things off after a bit of time.

RCHORR'

[violeteyes]

This is such a double standard type of situation, because people with naturally straight hair are never told that their hair doesn't look good the way it is- only curly-headed people are surrounded by comments like "frizzy" and "unruly". I personally think curly hair looks good on anyone if it's well taken care of.I think that it's such a shame that someone would say something hurtful like that to a "friend".

[LaurenH]

Ouch, so sorry you're hurting. :( I think curls are gorgeous... I've always wanted curls!! :)

[walterSCAN]

This is such a double standard type of situation, because people with naturally straight hair are never told that their hair doesn't look good the way it is- only curly-headed people are surrounded by comments like "frizzy" and "unruly". I personally think curly hair looks good on anyone if it's well taken care of.I think that it's such a shame that someone would say something hurtful like that to a "friend".

Really? I've gotten comments like, 'your hair is too flat, it doesn't do anything,' etc... with my 1a hair. I tend to think that most people just can't seem to be happy with what already exists. I'm all for embracing one's natural texture!

... heh. ;) That said, I have ALWAYS wished for ringlets... :shrug:

I think straight/wavy/curly hair is all gorgeous, and I agree that comments like that usually spring from jealousy.

[Copasetic]

Thats such a silly thing to say, but it's not an uncommon belief. I remember watching some interview with a professional matchmaker who demanded that any woman with curly hair straighten it if she wanted to be set up on a date. According to her men simply didn't like women with curly hair.

[dearladydisdain]

I think curls are so sexy. I would much rather have them than my straight hair.

[violeteyes]

Thats such a silly thing to say, but it's not an uncommon belief. I remember watching some interview with a professional matchmaker who demanded that any woman with curly hair straighten it if she wanted to be set up on a date. According to her men simply didn't like women with curly hair.
That show on Bravo, The Millionaire Matchmaker, had a situation similar to that. A woman came in and the matchmaker, quite rudely, told her that her curly hair looked messy and no men would like it. It actually looked pretty healthy and shiny.

[Bonkers57]

Me too! "Flat" is a word used often to describe my hair. "Thin" is another.

And it's true that most people want what they don't have (me included.)


Really? I've gotten comments like, 'your hair is too flat, it doesn't do anything,' etc... with my 1a hair. I tend to think that most people just can't seem to be happy with what already exists. I'm all for embracing one's natural texture!

... heh. ;) That said, I have ALWAYS wished for ringlets... :shrug:

I think straight/wavy/curly hair is all gorgeous, and I agree that comments like that usually spring from jealousy.

[Cimorene]

As someone who, uh..."plays for both teams", so to speak, I have to say that I simultaneously envy and am very attracted to women with curly hair. In fact, over half of my girl-crushes have been on ladies with curls. :crush: So, yeah, your friend is full of crap. The jealousy explanation that has been posited by several people already sounds the most likely to me.

[Upside Down]

I used to have curls, now I have waves. In the meantime I streightened my hair for about a year or so, the whole time because I had a very not-curl friendly haircut.

All the comments I got in the straight period, and all the comments I get now - from men - are "WHY did you streighten your curls??? :("

TMI: after using a big mirror in bed :redface: I realized just how sexyer curls are than straight hair :)

ENJOY them! :flower: