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natorade
January 1st, 2010, 11:17 PM
I am kind of dating this guy and he always wants to run his fingers through my hair. It seems like ever since I had my bad experiences with my hair at the salon I hate for people to touch my hair, because it never bothered me before to have people touch my hair. Anyway, I told him that my pet peeve was for people to touch my hair, but he still does it. I am thinking of not dating him anymore because he won't stop. I can't help but wonder if I am just being too weird about my hair. Maybe after it gets longer and I am not so self conscious about it, it won't bother me as much.

RavennaNight
January 1st, 2010, 11:22 PM
Well, you told him to stop, it is unwanted, yet he persists. Is it random? Or is it during the romantic moments? If it is the first of the two, then it is kinda weird. I dunno. Have you sent a crystal clear signal to stop it?

DARKMARTIAN
January 1st, 2010, 11:31 PM
I think fingers running thru my hair is up there among the best feelings IMO. But nahhhh, your not weird for that. Its no different than anything else really that someone may be uncomfortable with... and sure.....with time even that can change as well.

I think im weird because it kinda freaks me out to think that the milk in my gallon came from more than one cow. So we all have our little quirks. And shorter haired gals are beautiful too!!.....:p

GoddesJourney
January 1st, 2010, 11:31 PM
It sounds like you're having an issue with your hair, which you should probably deal with for yourself. Hopefully, he's touching your hair because he thinks you're beautiful and because it feels good to have your head/hair caressed. However, he should respect what you tell him not to do. Does he do this with other things, too (keep doing something your tell him not to do), or is it just with the hair thing?

Dachsdragon
January 1st, 2010, 11:34 PM
Perhaps there is some other reason why you don't want to be with him but you just cant put your finger on it. So the hair touching is annoying you because he is not your Mr Right....

Addy
January 1st, 2010, 11:42 PM
I think im weird because it kinda freaks me out to think that the milk in my gallon came from more than one cow. So we all have our little quirks. And shorter haired gals are beautiful too!!.....:p

I will never look at milk the same way again. Thanks alot! :D

Coriander
January 1st, 2010, 11:44 PM
I don't think you're weird at all. Maybe he doesn't realize he's doing it?

I'd wear a hat, or else tell him to knock it off. :D

angelthadiva
January 2nd, 2010, 01:18 AM
I don't think you are weird at all! If you are only casually dating this guy and he's not respecting your "no hands in the hair policy" that would be a deal breaker for me.

DH and I have been together for more than 13 years and he knows to leave my hair alone unless I ask him to do something with it for me. If we are snuggled up on the couch or something he may pet my head or rub my scalp, but he will ask first.

GoddesJourney
January 2nd, 2010, 01:24 AM
Perhaps there is some other reason why you don't want to be with him but you just cant put your finger on it. So the hair touching is annoying you because he is not your Mr Right....

That's a very good point.

Dreams_in_Pink
January 2nd, 2010, 01:25 AM
maybe you're taking way TOO good care of your hair that he cannot resist :D i suggest a flat iron!

SunshineHair
January 2nd, 2010, 01:35 AM
Sorry for not using quotes, again, I just cant do it right!!

A couple of people have said some keys things I want to highlight....You guys are smart!!!

One person said maybe he isnt the right one for you if him touching your hair bothers you a lot..

Another suggested this is something you might want to figure out because it 'does bother you' so much!

Yet another person pointed out that you asked him to stop and yet he keeps on.

Those are all things I personally would pay attention to!

Oh and Milk, I think about not drinking it a lot since they hurt the poor cows to get the milk, and more things I shouldnt repeat here as it would make ya sick and this is about hair!!

zombi
January 2nd, 2010, 01:52 AM
I think more important than whether or not this is a "big" thing is the fact that you expressly ask something not to continue, yet he ignores your request and continues, knowing it bothers you. It's not a desirable trait that someone should knowingly continue something after being asked to stop plainly. Maybe something to think about.

Ally<3
January 2nd, 2010, 05:43 AM
][/B]

I think im weird because it kinda freaks me out to think that the milk in my gallon came from more than one cow.

I thought I was the only one!

Everyone I say it to just looks at me as if to say "and....?"

Chrissy
January 2nd, 2010, 06:11 AM
I agree with if you specifically asked him not to and he continues. I don't think it's so much about the hair as you said no and he keeps doing it. That would be a bit of a problem with me. Maybe I'm reading too much into it.

Belisarius
January 2nd, 2010, 06:54 AM
Actually a lot of men like to touch their girlfriends. I don't think he does it to hurt you.
You could have an open talk about it with him? Then also tell him why you don't want it, perhaps that will help?

redneckprincess
January 2nd, 2010, 07:09 AM
i wish my husband would play with or run his fingers through my hair more...

Madame J
January 2nd, 2010, 07:15 AM
Just wanted to offer a differing opinion to the whole "maybe he's not really Mr. Right" thing, just so you don't get worried. Personally, I dislike being touched. I have "hot spots" on my arms and legs, so when I'm sitting with my husband and he puts an arm around me, he sometimes actually hurts me by resting a hand on my arm or wrist. I also bruise insanely easily there. So I've learned to really dislike being touched at all. When I'm expecting it, and can prepare, it's fine, but those normal, unconscious gestures of affection make me jump.

We've discussed it, and I've let him know that it's not him, and that I do love him and love being touched by him, just not by surprise. We still have "incidents," but he's more understanding, and that's all I ask. He's absolutely Mr. Right, but he's not going to change something so ingrained about me just by being the most wonderful person I've ever met.

For what it's worth, I also don't like having my hair touched. I've been trying to loosen up about that a bit, since he's been so good about watching the touching of my arms and legs. So it can definitely be something you can work with -- maybe say "I don't really like anyone to touch my hair, but I love it when you do [something else he does to show affection]," so that he doesn't feel rejected.

SHELIAANN1969
January 2nd, 2010, 07:17 AM
I don't think you are weird at all! If you are only casually dating this guy and he's not respecting your "no hands in the hair policy" that would be a deal breaker for me.

DH and I have been together for more than 13 years and he knows to leave my hair alone unless I ask him to do something with it for me. If we are snuggled up on the couch or something he may pet my head or rub my scalp, but he will ask first.


Ok, this is the first post of 2010 that made me snort!

(I can see it now) Angel and Hubby on couch watching movies, hubs asks, *honey.....can I pet your hair*? Angel just gives him *that look* :rolleyes:

Oh man, that is a hoot! :D

Wicked Princess
January 2nd, 2010, 08:51 AM
Without actually have been there when you told him to cut it out, I have no idea how well he "got the message" so to speak. Could it be that he thought you were joking? Could it be that he thought that it was a little pet peeve, as opposed to something that bothered you very deeply?

Definitely ask yourself if this is something you want to be comfortable with in the future (I love having my hair touched by my fiance, for instance, but other people don't like it all!). If it turns out it isn't, then anyone worth being in a relationship with must understand what makes you comfortable and what doesn't! :)

I don't think you're being weird at all!

spidermom
January 2nd, 2010, 09:30 AM
I don't like this guy a lot. You asked him not to do that. He does it anyway. Deal breaker.

Mutinous
January 2nd, 2010, 09:38 AM
Strangely enough, I had this problem too once. I would give him him one more chance. Sit him down and say point blank you don't like it, and it makes you feel self-conscious. If he a) laughs or b) agrees but continues to do it anyway, I think that would be enough reason to call it off.

Tinose
January 2nd, 2010, 09:45 AM
I'm going to chime with everyone who says touching after being told not to = red flag warning and deal breaker, with the slight codicil that if you said no in a way that could easily be taken as applying only to the moment you said and he stopped then, it might have been a genuine misunderstanding and communicating more clearly might help if you have the desire to give him a second chance. I just would not trust, much less continue to date, a man who casually violated my stated boundaries, even on something as relatively minor as hair.

Honey39
January 2nd, 2010, 09:45 AM
I don't know, I can understand that she has said that she doesn't like it and he should therefore stop. On the other hand...the men I have been out with have tended to like playing with my hair a lot. I think it's a sensual experience, and I can understand the impulse. I find hair very sensual, to be honest, and if he can't run his fingers through the hair of the person he's dating, then he can't really do it to anyone. Personally, I would let him do it to be honest.

angelthadiva
January 2nd, 2010, 10:39 AM
Ok, this is the first post of 2010 that made me snort!

(I can see it now) Angel and Hubby on couch watching movies, hubs asks, *honey.....can I pet your hair*? Angel just gives him *that look* :rolleyes:

Oh man, that is a hoot! :D

That's why I lurve you so much....You totally get me! Normally this conversation does come fully equipped *with that look* depending on if my answer will be yes/no. :eyebrows:

Fractalsofhair
January 2nd, 2010, 11:34 AM
He might be doing it to tease you, or even not realize he's touching your hair.(He might be doing it subconsciously.) If it's during romantic moments, then yeah, it's kinda hard to get him to stop. Otherwise, if you tell him to stop and explain that it really bothers you, he should do such!

Anje
January 2nd, 2010, 11:57 AM
DH is reading with me and pointed out that running hands through hair can be a very intimate thing. It's quite likely that this is one of the reasons you're bothered by him touching your hair -- you're only "kind of dating" him, and you aren't comfortable with being that close to him yet.

That he isn't respecting your wishes is a bit of a red flag though.