A mini rant: Does anyone else find that..?

[goldenbrunette]

People compliment you on how shiny and healthy your hair looks but if you tell them how you look after it they think you are mad?! This bugs me because clearly it is not mad or we would not have nice hair!

This does not usually annoy me so much argh maybe I'm feeling too hormonal today, but I don't like it when people think you are odd when all you are doing is looking after your hair.

[Dreams_in_Pink]

I feel for your frustration!! I do something different to my hair without telling my mom about it, just to hear her true thoughts :D after i'm done and i get a sure compliment on how shiny my hair turned out, i tell her what i did and...yeh the compliment is out the window :/

as long as it makes my hair feel great, i can put pretty much ANYTHING on my head. sorry :D

[goldenbrunette]

ha, so true! :)

clearly the things we do work though!

[Dreams_in_Pink]

i wonder how long will it take for them to understand that :D
not that i give a damn though, WE shall have the best hair and they'll be choking on cones and hydrogen peroxide :D HA!

[embee]

I do not generally mention my hair care routine, non-longhairs would be so shocked. It's not worth the trouble to me.

[rogue_psyche]

I don't really get people who insult my routine, except for people who think I put too much effort into my hair. I have a friend who says things like, "I don't do any of that, and I don't have split ends, but you do." Okay, your APL hair may not have splits while my longer hair does, but I do not have the halo of frizz that you constantly have, except on increasingly rare bad hair days. Part of me also thinks that people like me notice splits and damage, while normal people don't even see it.

[Fiferstone]

Yep, I put food on my head. Not even worth going there for most people, though my DH is now experimenting with ACV rinses in addition to CWC. I'm working on him...

[Juanita]

Most people unless they have long hair are just not interested. Way to much information for them. Thankyou to acknowledge their compliment is plenty.
Cheers

[CrisDee]

My guess is that when you divulge your hair care routine, "those" people think, "well if your hair looks that good doing all that weird stuff, just think how good it would look if you did things MY way!" Most people just don't seem to think it through...

[Chamomile betty]

I honestly wouldn't even try to explain to them my routine. It would take too long anyway. Now my family is used to me talking hair even if they are not really following along. Now my SIL, who has a stacked bob, pretty much knows what I do and will come to me asking for some product recommendations. I think she's pretty open minded to what I do. We just have different styles of hair.

[2peasinapod]

LOL. My only experience so far was with a clerk. I bought some hair product with coconut oil in it. When I asked how to use it, it turned into a conversation about haircare. When I told her my routine (shampoo the scalp only, conditioner from the ears down but mostly on the ends), she hastily "corrected" me. :rolleyes:

Whatever. Her hair didn't look very good anyway, so I think I'll sitck to my routine 8)

[halo_tightens]

Yep, I've noticed that all those people who follow the same routine... well... they all have the same hair! Seems logical enough. :p

I'd like something else, please! :D

[marzipanthecat]

What gets me is when women come up to me and say something along the lines of "Oooh, your hair is lovely" (which is very nice of them to say) but then they start telling me how to look after it!

I'd listen if they had nice shiny healthy hair themselves, but it's usually blow-fried hair people who do this.

I do try to be polite, though.

So yes, I do understand your frustration!

[Carolyn]

Just smile and thank them for the compliment. DO NOT offer any unasked for hair advice. That is just setting yourself up for frustration. Most people can't handle any non main stream information. They don't really want to know. They are just making a comment on how nice your hair looks. Leave it at that.

[pepperminttea]

Unless the person who said it is interested in the sort of care I give my hair, I tend not to mention it. I know someone who discovered henna long before me, likes to experiment with natural solutions, that kind of thing - I mentioned coconut oil to her she seemed really interested, not at all repelled, so I gave her the URL of heidi w.'s oiling article. :) I made the mistake of mentioning it to someone else, they had the opposite reaction; you know that look when you go from 'person with nice hair' to 'something stuck on their shoe'? Exactly that.

[Peggy E.]

Oh, boy, if I was to tell people how I care for MY hair, I would hear it for sure! Sometimes there's definitely an advantage to being stuck in the house - at least my dogs don't care what I do to my hair!

Why would you even be telling people how you care for it? If someone compliments you, thank them, smile politely and move on to the next subject before they have an opportunity to delve any deeper into the hair subject.

[2peasinapod]

Well, sometimes people ask. I agree with you, but it's not like I bring it up to everyone who says my hair look nice.

Also, when I buy haircare products, I used to ask how to use some of them, but then I found out most of the clerks didn't really know much about haircare (besides conventional, mainstream "knowledge"), but they always asked about my haircare routine, so I answered.

[spidermom]

Well I don't know what kind of weird stuff you folks are doing with your hair, but there's nothing in my routine to raise eyebrows.

[Kris Dove]

I don't get why some people think it's disgusting to oil hair, yet they'd happily buy an expensive bottle of leave in conditioner or hair serum that contains organic coconut/almond/olive etc oil as the active ingredient. Or why people think shampoo bars are weird yet are happy to wash their hands with soap.

[goldenbrunette]

Obviously I do not tell random aquaintances who compliment it. Close friends who I share beauty tips have asked me questions about my hair care so naturally I tell them the truth.

[marikamt]

if someone does ask, I usually leave it at "I am trying to be very gentle with it and not use chemicals" or "trying to be organic" or something along those lines..... at least where I live, that doesn't raise too many eyebrows. As for the "dirty details"? Nah, I don't share unless it is someone I know will appreciate it.......

[GoddesJourney]

I think it just falls into the category of too much information. I feel this way if I see an old friend and say, "Hey you look great/lost weight/whatever" and they proceed to tell me their entire dieting/workout routine. It just makes me think they're a crazy gym guy. You know, the ones who never go home? If they said something like, "Yeah, I've been working on that/staying away from junk food/started working out again" it would be simple enough to get the point across. Ah, I see, they lost weight on purpose and succeded. Great.

Usually, I just tell someone that I've been growing it out and cutting off the damage. If they ask why it's so shiny (I love getting that question, by the way), I just tell them I got away from sulphates and silicones by buying the cheap Trader Joe's stuff. They usually look shocked for a moment and then give me that *mental note* look.

Even better, now and then someone will see me again later and say, "Hey I tried that new shampoo/not using abrasive elastics/damaging heat stuff/hair technique and people keep complimenting me on my hair!" I love that because you can see you happy they are. Long story short, give out information in small doses and it becomes a positive experience. If you let people ask you for information, they feel like you're sharing a hair secret with them and it makes them feel "in the know". It's great. Then, like all secrets, they're more likely to pass it on to someone else...:D

[GoddesJourney]

Well I don't know what kind of weird stuff you folks are doing with your hair, but there's nothing in my routine to raise eyebrows.

Ha. I'm with you. My routine is pretty simple too.

[marikamt]

Obviously I do not tell random aquaintances who compliment it. Close friends who I share beauty tips have asked me questions about my hair care so naturally I tell them the truth.

Even then (close friends) I tend to edit because people get so weird about anything that is not mainstream.
Personally, I only share with those I know would appreciate it and really get it (and possibly embrace it). If they are not open minded about ANYTHING in their lives, they probably won't be with this....... (open minded in relation to health/ beauty/ etc)

[ccmuffingirl]

Hahaha....Yeah, story of my hair journey, especially toward the beginning when I was known to play kitchen-tician more. Now when people ask me what I do or what they do for their hair I think "Is this a trick question??" I usually give them the basic necessities: Don't overly strip your hair, make sure you condition it, don't heat style too much, yada yada. I usually omit the parts about herbal rinses, pastes, and various other naturalistic treatments, unless I know they're into that sort of thing. And if they solely just want to know what I do for my hair, I pretty much tell them the basics. A girl's gotta have some secrets :grin:.

[SlightlySoprano]

I find that some people even ASK for it and are shocked at the results...

"OMG I love your hair, what do you do to it?"

"Well... I don't use shampoo, or conditioner with silicone in it..."

"ew... you don't use shampoo???"

you asked for it!

[ArienEllariel]

I haven't really volunteered info to anyone outside my family. My sister for the most part thinks I'm nuts as I've suddenly become hair obsessed- this is the same sister who straightens her hair dayly and recently started dying it as well. In reality it may appear to be a weird obsession but it was really cause I was sick of ratty hair and wanted to have nice looking hair (I rarely got any hair compliments in the past and have noticed more lately). So my rather eccentric behavior is really an attempt to protect/nurture/improve my hair. :) I don't care if someone thinks I'm weird. If something makes my hair nice I don't care what people think of it. ;)

[Coriander]

There was a lot of uproar over a very non-conventional hair treatment recently... and I also get weird looks if I tell people I don't brush my hair, or that I don't use shampoo every day, or that I *gasp* haven't used a hair dryer in two years. :lol:

[Sara Smile]

Whenever I have told people who ask that I wash my hair once or twice a week, they say, good for you but wouldn't work for me. They aren't shocked.

Most of the people I talk to know that you should try to wash your hair less often, but they all think that they have the type of hair that needs daily washing. Statistically, not everyone can have hair that requires daily washing. ;)

ETA: I bought a big jar of honey at Williams Sonoma the other day, and the cashier asked me why I wanted so much honey. I said I wanted some of it to put in hot toddies, and some to put in my hair. She was curious and interested, not shocked.

[maxzeen]

That has happened to me a few times. I've had my mom and maybe two other people compliment on how shiny my hair is. When I told them (especially my mom) that I put honey in my hair, they give such a funny look. My own mother thinks I am wacked! I just laugh it off though :)

[2peasinapod]

You should have seen my family's reaction when I started using things like milk and eggs in my hair! "umm...why is there egg shells in the shower?":confused: Oh well. At least I have nice hair! 8)

[blueroses79]

I feel this way about that Dove commercial in which a couple of women are listing the things they've done that damaged their hair, and one mentions olive oil (I think) and makes a grossed-out face.

The people who complement me are always men, though, and they never ask what I do to my hair. Otherwise I've found the people who don't get it just have different hair. Not brushing would never occur to my mother, with heavy coarse straight hair--the brush does nothing to her hair. But with me even finger combing takes out some waves. Not shampooing tends to freak out oily people. People often recommend damaging products ("just use a de-frizz spray" "a volumizer!"). Umm... No.

[SunshineHair]

Some of you really hit the nail on the head..If it isnt mainstream it isnt ok with people!

I live almost my entire life going against what people consider popular! And now my hair has gotten involved! It is hard when people stop listening, even though the good results are staring them right in the face :(

But lets face it, the products that have been pushed on people for years tend to have the upper hand! Only the truly wise people will find out whats real and whats hype!!!

[Chromis]

Well I don't know what kind of weird stuff you folks are doing with your hair, but there's nothing in my routine to raise eyebrows.

Shampoo bars tend to raise eyebrows even when people ask me about the assortment of things in my shower as does my ACV bottle. I don't bring it up unless asked directly though. Many people also find conditioner only washing to be "weird" and there are plenty of CO washers here as well.

Oooh, not washing your hair every day is another that is a good ick-getter!

[goldenbrunette]

lol 2peasinapod, I guess it would be quite odd to see egg shells in the shower! :D

[bumblebums]

I told a very old friend that I stopped using shampoo, and to my surprise, she said, 'I don't use shampoo, either!'

Otherwise, the only person who knows is my boyfriend. He makes fun of me all the time for it ('this salad dressing would make a great shampoo!'--'why, yes, it would!'), but it's all in good spirit :)

As far as why people don't believe you... Most people will trust an advertisement with Andie MacDowell before they would trust a living, breathing person with beautiful hair that they are talking to. It's a matter of how often you hear something--you hear and ad 20 times, you tend to believe what it says, but if you hear one contradictory bit of information, it just flies out of your head.

[Katurday]

I find that a ton of confidence in my strange hair voodoo goes a long way. I end up doing all kinds of SMTs and deep treatments on my friends' hair when they damage it through coloring or otherwise. I got a male friend to go CO with his curly ish hair.

Overall, they just think I'm a crazy hippie with good hair.

[Wicked Princess]

I never volunteer information about what I use to take care of my hair - not because people tend to think it's gross - but because my routine is so simple, that they're disappointed there isn't a "special trick" to it.

Dramatized recreation of a conversation: "What?! You just wash your hair gently and use extra conditioner?! That can't be all!"

[Wicked Princess]

I think it just falls into the category of too much information. I feel this way if I see an old friend and say, "Hey you look great/lost weight/whatever" and they proceed to tell me their entire dieting/workout routine. It just makes me think they're a crazy gym guy. You know, the ones who never go home? If they said something like, "Yeah, I've been working on that/staying away from junk food/started working out again" it would be simple enough to get the point across. Ah, I see, they lost weight on purpose and succeded. Great.

<snip>

Long story short, give out information in small doses and it becomes a positive experience. If you let people ask you for information, they feel like you're sharing a hair secret with them and it makes them feel "in the know". It's great. Then, like all secrets, they're more likely to pass it on to someone else...:D


This has been my experience with people as well. :) When people have asked what I do for my hair, they aren't actually looking for a detailed run-down of every product, how often I use it. They're usually looking for "bullet points".

[Teacherbear]

I stopped telling people what I do/don't do with my hair. I figured it was more information than they really wanted, so I was just talking to a wall. Only if someone sounds interested in hair-care do I tell them some of the things I know. If their eyes start glazing over, then I change the subject. ;)