I may cry

[Anlbe]

I did something really REALLY stupid.

About ten months ago I went to get my highlights redone. However I couldn't get to my normal hairdresser so I went to one near where I live after careful research. For the last five years I have highlighted my hair using aveda saloons just getting the roots done each time. Very subtle, grows out without looking unnatural, all good.
I am a stupid stupid person and allowed the hair dresser to not only put blonder streaks in than normal but she also but them all the way through, onto hair that had already been highlighted. Then she insisted on blow drying my hair saying it was against company policy to allow clients out of the door with wet hair.

It is all bad - after years of care, I now have breakage all the way down the length of my hair and it will take another THREE YEARS before the damage has grown out. Furthermore the highlights were badly done and despite the best efforts of my lovely hairdresser still looks unnatural with a solid line now at about ear level.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHY DID I DO IT!

If the breakage gets any worse I will have to cut out all the damaged hair and have short hair, as I said at the beginning I may cry.

My only hope is that someone out there might learn from my mistake.

[Meezer]

First off... big hugs to you! I'm so sorry that you are going through this.

Don't beat yourself up about it. I'm sure we have all made decisions at one point or another that left us unhappy with our hair (I know that I've made MANY of them). The thing to remember also is that your poor outcome isn't directly the result of a decision that you made. You had already been highlighting (and enjoying it), but unfortunately it seems like what you are dealing with now is teh end result of a hairstylist who may not have been all that skilled in highlighting techniques.

That being said, with time, your hair will bounce back and you'll love it again!

In your post you mentioned that it 'looks' bad b/c of growout. If you are still going to an Aveda salon, they should have a very gentle demi-perm rinse that they could apply to blend the old highlights with your new growth. It shouldn't affect the condition of your hair AND may even make it appear glossier.

Best wishes to you. Hang in there!

[Nat242]

(((((HUGS)))))

Don't worry about it. Mistakes happen, and time heals all. Baby your hair, give it lots of moisture, and wear it up often to protect it. If you need to snip, if the damage is really that bad, just do little, tiny trims, don't hack off too much at once. It's be okay.

[FrannyG]

Oh, sweetie, don't be so hard on yourself. Most people here have made hair mistakes. I've made many. :bigeyes:

Just keep taking good care of it, get very small trims when necessary, and time will take care of it all. :flowers:

And you're right, there are people who will learn from your mistake. I've shared some of my doozies in the past, and I'm sure it helped someone. :flower:

[tiny_teesha]

try cassia? It can help to sort of strengthen, it is temporary and only adds light gold tint, barely noicable on most hair colours.
Perhaps this is a good time to stop dyeing your hair all together? At least it was just highlights not your whole head?
I did the same thing exccept i used a box from the store- that RUINED my hair, i am STILL growing it out!!!!! I will never use chemical dye AGAIN! EVER!

[Anlbe]

Thank you everyone, I know it will be alright in the end - eventually...
I never realized how big a role my hairdresser played in look after my hair (if I work out how to I'll post a photo showing the difference between the good and bad highlights). I've been going back to my hairdresser in London, next time I'll mention the demi-rinse, does it really not hurt ones hair? If so I may take that up and give the highlighting a rest. I wouldn't dye my hair at all but it bleaches naturally and if I don't do something my updos look like I'm wearing a hair piece.
Also thinking about what you've said I may start saving my pennies and go back to the George Michael salon in London for trims.

Many thanks again! I'm so happy the community's back!

[addikted]

Poor you, please don't fret. Baby your hair. It will return to the state that it pnce was. Micro trims might help.

[eadwine]

I'd say go for the cones, they helped me a lot when my hair was extremely damaged (and then cut off, as it was overall a wreck). Whatever works :) Good luck, and hopefully it doesn't get worse!

[ilovelonghair]

Don't cut! Just spoil your hair. Make sure to S&D, that works very well for my damaged hair (gazillion times hair dye...)

[serenitygal]

Definitely try a demi-perm rinse. I color my hair using only a demi-perm color that I get at Sally's. No peroxide, no ammonia, even has jojoba oil in it! My hair always feels extra smooth and shiny post-color. Of course, the color I use is just one shade different from my natural color (a hint darker with a little red), so it isn't as though I'm bleaching.
HTH! :flowers:

[levelek]

Oh man!! How could I have missed this? Poor you :grouphug:
But do I read this correctly, are these the highlights you got ten months ago? In which case I have seen them, and I don't know how they feel to you but really, they look a *lot* better than you think!

You could try posting pictures using photobucket which is what most people here do - open a free account with them, upload the photos, then copy the code underneath that starts with [IMG], then just paste it into your message, and the picture should show up in Preview or after you have posted it.

Just keep babying it along, and it will pay back the care. eadwine has a point too, a cone-laden conditioner might even help here, as long as you keep it off your scalp, and as long as it still lets the moisture through? Have you ever tried an SMT, or the HALO rinse - that sounds like the perfect thing for you! (Honey, aloe vera, lemon juice and a drop of oil in your final rinse - there is a detailed recipe on TBB at http://chatter.thebeautybottle.com/showthread.php?t=1114&highlight=halo.

:hugs:

[Delilah]

I'm sorry you had to experiece that. Many of us have to experience a hair disaster or two to realize the permanence and damage that can be caused by using such things in our hair.

I know one of mine involved being 15, a bottle of sun-in, and a hairdryer!

Going back to your Aveda salon sounds like a good idea. Maybe they can do something gentle to adjust the color. In the meantime pamper your hair as much as you can. If you like oils, use one you like often and maybe try to wear it bunned often, washing it as seldom as possible.

[justgreen]

I'd suggest you start doing SMT's right away. That is what saved my hair a big chop after finding LHC. I still do them on occaision, but the very first one, I left it in overnight, THEN took my first siggy picture seen below. I use 2 parts cone free conditioner, 1 part honey. I don't use the aloe gel with it any longer. HTH. If you see white specks even after rinsing, don't worry, it's just conditioner and your hair will absorb it.
http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b168/justgreen_/lighteneduplonghairpic-1.jpg

ETA: Just so you know, I get highlights on a regular basis too.

[Peggy E.]

I think I'd ask my "good" hairdresser her opinion on the damage and see what can be done to gently correct the problem. She should certainly be able to put the "good" highlights from the roots and take some of the sting out of that line of "demarcation."

Don't despair. Unless you pulled a Brittany Spears, you're not going to completely undo three years of good haircare - at least your hair was in great shape when attacked, so it will hold up better to the assault than hair that was in a sorry state to begin with, right?

That's the beauty of making hair mistakes, though - time really DOES make it better. Of course, time takes "time"..... ;o(

[jojo]

i third the advice of eadwine regarding cones, they worked well for me when i did the same thing a few years back and it helped my hair brilliantly. i know its hard but don't beat yourself up, all is not lost its just a dropped stitch in the journey to long hair!

[UrbanEast]

Hugs to you--that must be so frustrating. Could you do a protein treatment, like Nexus Emergencee or Aphogee? I've heard that these treatments save a lot of people from having to do a big chop.

[brok3nwings]

dont stay in panic right now and dont cut it at least for this next two months. My personal experience is that if you take care of your hair REALLY WELL it can stay in much better condition then what is right now...your hair is now stressed so you need to take some time to let it rest and give it a lot of conditioning. Try this first after doing anything that you can really regret after.. i am really sorry for what happened, it is not your fault! that hairdresser should study again :(

[alys]

I'm sorry about your incident - and echo the advice others have given. Lemme throw my 2 cents in about that stylist tho - HOLY COW! Let us all learn a lesson from that. I'm sorry, but what a bunch of S**T!!!! Against company policy to let people leave with wet hair? Now that I would have begged to differ with her/him on. Frig policy- next time run.
I too have had to verbally slap the hand of the trained monkeys who tried to do things I had already asked them not to at the salon I visit ( a particular salon, no offense stylists out there). Like razor cut me, or blow dry me, or brush me wet. No WAY!
I actually have to tell them, like talking to a child 'Do not use the razor thing, do not put product in my hair and DO NOT touch me with the brush and blow dryer. Just freakin trim it'...

I hope your heart heals, and your hair my dear! Stay strong!

[Pegasus Marsters]

Honestly I say try using some cassia. I found it helped tons with the state of my hair when I was suffering breakage.

[alys]

PS -

Do some research here and online before you follow anyone's suggestions. As we all know, everyones hair reacts differently. Not to derail some other folks posts, but I've tried Cassia before and had NO luck. My hair was dry to begin with and the Cassie treatments did nothing but make it the same, in fact perhaps a bit dryer. I did SMT constantly for a month straight to counter-act the Cassia..REally tho each person is different, and I'm not denying that Cassia has worked well for others. Just research, strand test and all that jazz GL!

[Anlbe]

Thank you for all the posts! May I ask a favour just to know what to try first, do any of you have the same sort of hair as mine?
Grows mouse, is blonde by the tips, breaks easily and is very dry without a whole lot of oil and conditioners?

Also what is SMT and does anyone know where to get cassia in the UK?

[levelek]

The old forums had a handy list of abbreviations and SMT was probably at the top of that. It stands for Snowy's Deep Moisture Treatment, after snowymoon I believe who is a guru here. There was in fact a whole article on that as I recall, down to a list of which conditioners were found to work particularly well with it.

The basic idea is that you mix about two part conditioner, one part honey and one part aloe vera gel, microwave it for about 15 seconds to warm it up, and apply it liberally to wet hair. Then hide it under a shower cap or a plastic bag or something, wrap it in a towel - all this so that it doesn't dry out (the honey could be difficult to get out otherwise, plus as a humectant it needs water around it to be able to lock it into your hair, otherwise it might have the opposite effect) and keeps it warm. Keep it on for an hour or two, then wash it off with your regular routine. You could also follow it up with light oiling.

I know your skin is sensitive to water, so perhaps you could do this just on the length and try to keep it off your scalp / make the goo thick so it doesn't drip elsewhere.

Most people LOVE this treatment, though some people need to tweak it, and as with everything it doesn't work for everyone. E.g. I tried it twice, and substituted molasses once. My hair felt softer while rinsing it out, but once dry it actually felt crunchier. Not the feel you are going for, right? :) However this weekend I tried leaving the aloe vera out, so just the conditioner and the honey, and my hair stayed significantly softer afterwards! Other people reduce the quantity of the honey.

So you could try the original recipe, and if your hair is playing hard to get, then perhaps try tweaking it around to see which ingredient it is not liking. Good luck! :hugs:

[SarieQ]

I agree about doing lots of SMT's (like once or twice a week) and cassia at least every four weeks.

We've all done damaging stuff to our hair at one time or another and really hated the results. (((((hugs)))) Try not to cut and lose all your length. You can do S&D (search and destroy) any split ends individually or do monthly micro trims to maintain length, but do away with damage.

[jel]

Also what is SMT and does anyone know where to get cassia in the UK?

Levelek explained the SMT really well, so I can only tell you that I get my cassia at Incense Magic (http://www.incensemagic.co.uk/index.asp). It's Cassia Obovata, they also call it Neutral Henna.

Cassia can strengthen hair from the outside, but for some people it doesn't work. Other *possible* side effects are yellowish staining of light hair, or coating the hair and making it feel crunchy. These are completely reversible, though, from what I've learned on this board.

I would suggest that you don't put cassia on your hair until your hair is reasonably moisturised (i.e. a couple of weeks of deep treatments like SMT and oiling, if it works for your hair). Good luck!

[Anlbe]

Shoot, I just threw some honey out on the grounds I didn't need three pots in the house - I'll go and see if I can fish it out and have a go this evening, I can leave it on during the football, boy wouldn't notice if I had a coconut on my head during the footie. It sounds weired though, and I'll have to heat it gently in a ban marie as I don't have a microwave.... I'll report back tomorrow.

[Anlbe]

SMT is wonderful! Levelek saw my hair (and me) this afternoon and she can confirm it was really looking quite good. The only stupid thing I did was that I forgot to wet my hair before applying the mixture, but it seemed to work anyway.
My hair feels lovely and soft, thank you for advising me to do this I never would have had the nerve to try it otherwise. One unexpected side effect was that when I washed the mixture out it got my hair really really clean, quite scarily so, and so I used more conditioner and oil than I normally do. I'll be interested to see how long it is before I have to wash again.

[missy60]

SMT is wonderful! Levelek saw my hair (and me) this afternoon and she can confirm it was really looking quite good. The only stupid thing I did was that I forgot to wet my hair before applying the mixture, but it seemed to work anyway.
My hair feels lovely and soft, thank you for advising me to do this I never would have had the nerve to try it otherwise. One unexpected side effect was that when I washed the mixture out it got my hair really really clean, quite scarily so, and so I used more conditioner and oil than I normally do. I'll be interested to see how long it is before I have to wash again.

I used SMT solely for a while when I had bleached damaged hair for my washing routine. I find it cleans my hair really well also. I thought I was the only one that had to use a conditioner afterwards.

[marizzlefoshizz]

EXACT same situation happend to me this weekend... weird! I am off at college, so the only time I could get my roots touched up for my highlights was Saturday. My normal stylist was booked for a while, since she is amazing, so I decided to go to a different salon. HUGE mistake. She used a totally different color and my roots turned orange. I am still crying about it and this happend Saturday. I came on LHC to try to get tips and I found this thread. I am going to try to go back Tuesday and get my money back, I hope they give me my money back? And then I'm taking my money and going to my normal salon and seeing if they can fix it. Great, now my hair is going to be damaged after highlighting it twice in one week. I'm so upset it's 2 AM and I can't sleep.


ETA: I just wanted to respond to the OP and say that I have been reading the replies and SMT sounds like a good idea. Also, coconut oil has been heaven for my hair.

Also, JustGreen, you have my dream hair! The length, color, condition of it, GORGEOUS!

[lilalong]

Oh my! I'm sorry!

Also, it's store policy to not let people leave with wet hair? WTF?

[Anlbe]

Hi marizzlefoshizz,

Wow, poor you. I guess we all learn from our mistakes and with hair colour that seems to mean stick with the saloon you know. I wrote to the hairdresser that did my bad highlights and told them what I thought of their skills. I haven't heard back from them but I'm not surprised - there's not really anything they could do to make it up to me. I've run out of aloe vera gel but until I get some I'm doing lots of oil; wash; condition. Tried it alongside CWC and the Oil: Wash: Condition was slightly better.

[levelek]

I think Holland and Barrett (in the UK) are still doing a discount on their aloe vera gel ;)

[dagonlilly]

A policy to not leave with wet hair????? what is the rational behind that. It sounds like they want to give you split ends so you have to come back to have them cut.