Hair feels great, but looks terrible!

[MakeLoveNotWar]

Here is my problem...my hair feels so soft and nice and then I look in the mirror and I am totally taken aback by how not-soft it looks! The canopy and ends just look so dry and it really saddens me that it doesn't look as good as it feels. I feel like I've tried everything, but it doesn't seem to make a difference. Does anyone know of any good shampoos and conditioners for super dry hair? Or maybe a hair mask? Any suggestions please! Thanks for the great support :)

[contradiction]

Can't really help you now just wanted to sympathize. My hair and scalp *feel* pretty good these days, but I look in the mirror and half my hair is still a dry tangled damaged mess. I'm going to get a trim today so hopefully that will help things out.

[coscass]

Do you leave condiish in? That's the only thing that's helped me with my frizz and dryness, and believe me, my hair was HORRIBLE. It was like straw to the touch, and it crunched when you rubbed it between your fingers- with NO product in it. I use vo5. Try to stay away from protein right now, work on moisturising your hair. I tried a honey+conditioner rinse and that really helped my hair, but in the long run it was the CO washing and leaving the conditioner in my hair that brought it back from the dead.

[MakeLoveNotWar]

Do you leave condiish in? That's the only thing that's helped me with my frizz and dryness, and believe me, my hair was HORRIBLE. It was like straw to the touch, and it crunched when you rubbed it between your fingers- with NO product in it. I use vo5. Try to stay away from protein right now, work on moisturising your hair. I tried a honey+conditioner rinse and that really helped my hair, but in the long run it was the CO washing and leaving the conditioner in my hair that brought it back from the dead.

So you don't rinse the conditioner out at all?

[coscass]

So you don't rinse the conditioner out at all?

I get in the shower, cowash my scalp, then part my hair over each shoulder. Slather both parts with conditioner, clip it up, go about my shower routine, then wash it out. I don't know how everyone else does it, but I wring my hair out and use a towel to blot some of the moisture out. THEN I get out and add extra conditioner to my hair, flip my head around a few times, and I'm good to go.

If you don't CO wash already, try it out, but don't expect overnight results. Since I cut out shampoo, my hair has been fine and adapted to CO washing over night. If I were still shampooing my hair, it would be an oily, greasy mess.

[marikamt]

What is your hair type??? Mine looked frizzy when I went no-cone because I had some wave in it (that I didn't know about).... I have been fine tuning my routine since. Leave in conditioner has helped the most (even more than oils, etc) and yes, just take a little conditioner, rub it on your palms and run thru hair (not a lot at all, for me it is just a couple drops).
I am actually experimenting with "low cone" now, using a coney condish as my leave in......

[MakeLoveNotWar]

What is your hair type??? Mine looked frizzy when I went no-cone because I had some wave in it (that I didn't know about).... I have been fine tuning my routine since. Leave in conditioner has helped the most (even more than oils, etc) and yes, just take a little conditioner, rub it on your palms and run thru hair (not a lot at all, for me it is just a couple drops).
I am actually experimenting with "low cone" now, using a coney condish as my leave in......

I would have to say my hair type is 2a. What kind of leave in conditioner do you use?

Thanks coscass! I will definitely try your routine and see if that helps at all.

[marikamt]

I would have to say my hair type is 2a. What kind of leave in conditioner do you use?

Thanks coscass! I will definitely try your routine and see if that helps at all.

I was using the suave naturals (the Coconut and the Aloe one) which were both cone free.... I have some old leftover generic humectress that I have tried this week (it has cones) and that is my favorite (so far).
I am no cone in the rest of my routine and SLS free, so this little bit of cone seems to smooth my "frizz" without making my hair lank.

[Captain Nikki]

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=71

This link should take you to info about oiling. I have super dry hair too & oiling has helped a lot.

[Elainehali]

I use kid's detangling spray. It's cheap and sold everywhere.

makes my hair feel soft, but it's harder to over-do than oil.

[melikai]

Have you tried some of the more standard LHC deep treatments, like SMTs, the Caramel treatment, and Fox's Shea conditioning cream? These and others can be found here: http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=7807

[spidermom]

Joico K-Pak Reconstructor is an excellent deep-treatment product. I have my stylist apply it to my hair about twice a year (then she bags my hair and sits me under the hood dryer for half an hour).

I also leave conditioner in my hair - any old conditioner that I happen to be using. I massage it into dripping wet hair, then I squeeze out the extra water/conditioner but don't rinse. I follow that with oil applied to the bottom half of length only. This leaves my ends feeling as silky as the rest of my hair. I don't have much damage to them, however.

[squidgetroo]

Here is my problem...my hair feels so soft and nice and then I look in the mirror and I am totally taken aback by how not-soft it looks! The canopy and ends just look so dry and it really saddens me that it doesn't look as good as it feels. I feel like I've tried everything, but it doesn't seem to make a difference. Does anyone know of any good shampoos and conditioners for super dry hair? Or maybe a hair mask? Any suggestions please! Thanks for the great support :)

Have you tried CO washing? My ends were pretty fried too (which I didn't really notice til I stopped using cones). Like a previous poster said, they literally crunched when I rubbed them between my fingers. Have tried all sorts of deep treatments and heavy conditioners that didn't really do much except leave my hair limp and sort of greasy. CO washing and oiling is what has worked so far for me, but it does take a little while. I've been doing CO for about two months and oiling daily for several weeks w/ coconut oil and its just in the last week that I can see visible improvement. My ends are much softer and silky like the rest of my hair and its really starting to look pretty darn good!

[Pear Martini]

I was using the suave naturals (the Coconut and the Aloe one) which were both cone free.... I have some old leftover generic humectress that I have tried this week (it has cones) and that is my favorite (so far).
I am no cone in the rest of my routine and SLS free, so this little bit of cone seems to smooth my "frizz" without making my hair lank.

Do you CO with the humectress or shampoo and condition? I just stopped COing with VO5 and started using cones again. I was just getting splits way to quickly when I was not using cones. I am using the same shampoo and conditioner as you (Suave humectress?) and I'm amazed by how well it works. I am still trying to figure out a routine with it though.

[marikamt]

Do you CO with the humectress or shampoo and condition? I just stopped COing with VO5 and started using cones again. I was just getting splits way to quickly when I was not using cones. I am using the same shampoo and conditioner as you (Suave humectress?) and I'm amazed by how well it works. I am still trying to figure out a routine with it though.

No, I don't CO (once in a while, but not as a regular "wash)... I poo bar and no cone condish... I have started using a very small amount of coney condish as a leave in.

MakeLoveNotWar just to make sure I understand correctly... you don't feel your hair is damaged or dry, it feels good but when you look in the mirror it "looks" dry? I construed that to mean it looked "frizzy"?? The advice I gave was based on what I am trying to do to tame frizz when I stopped using cones.... my hair is actually healthier than ever, but did not lay "smoothly" (I do not want it straight, it just had fly-aways or something that made it look odd to me). I am still trying to figure it all out, CO made it too lank (for me personally, prob because i am not a curly but slightly wavy), regular/ heavy cone use made it straight (and I like my newly found waves) so I am trying to find the happy medium........

[xoxophelia]

Do you heat style your hair?

At a certain point, conditioners and such are going to make your hair feel great because they coat the shaft making it feel smooth. But I don't think you can actually repare damage too much. If you keep your hair from drying out, perhaps it is less likely to become damaged.

I guess try everything suggested and then think about what you can do to cut down on damage.

I have 2a hair as well I think. I always though I had minor wave (like half wavy half kind of straight), but yesterday I washed my hair after not having done so for about 4 days in cool water, used a good conditioner (I use cone free but just on accident), and then put in a glaze (frekkai??) I just got, didn't brush my hair and it looked.. GREAT.

I always feel like I have to style my hair for it to look okay.. but I would suggest looking into the glaze. No styling needed which will really cut down on the damage for me.

[MakeLoveNotWar]

I usually straighten my hair if I'm going out and I want to look a bit nicer, but most of the time I just put it up in a bun and let it air dry. If I want it to look really good, I have to straighten and style it. It looks terrible if I don't.

[marikamt]

I usually straighten my hair if I'm going out and I want to look a bit nicer, but most of the time I just put it up in a bun and let it air dry. If I want it to look really good, I have to straighten and style it. It looks terrible if I don't.

Then xoxophelia may be right.... could be hidden damage that is being "covered" by cones or something (if you use cones).......

[thankyousir74]

I get in the shower, cowash my scalp, then part my hair over each shoulder. Slather both parts with conditioner, clip it up, go about my shower routine, then wash it out. I don't know how everyone else does it, but I wring my hair out and use a towel to blot some of the moisture out. THEN I get out and add extra conditioner to my hair, flip my head around a few times, and I'm good to go.

If you don't CO wash already, try it out, but don't expect overnight results. Since I cut out shampoo, my hair has been fine and adapted to CO washing over night. If I were still shampooing my hair, it would be an oily, greasy mess.

How much extra conditioner do you add? Do you think that maybe a dime sized blob is good for APL?

[GoddesJourney]

It could be that your hair products have a lot of silicone in them. This could be making your hair feel soft even if you can see the damage. If your hair is a 2a, then it's straightened in your avatar. The average person damages their hair a lot more than they know, and never sees the damage until it's really bad because most products contain silicones that cover it up.

[xoxophelia]

I usually straighten my hair if I'm going out and I want to look a bit nicer, but most of the time I just put it up in a bun and let it air dry. If I want it to look really good, I have to straighten and style it. It looks terrible if I don't.

Maybe try and tinker with ways of bringing out your wave? There are also a lot of ways to wash your hair the night before, put it up in different types of buns or braids and things and then taken them out the next morning to have waves.

You could just try to reduce the number of times you heat style, and turn down the heat a little.

I know when I was straightening my hair and it was relatively long, the damage was just impossible to avoid.

Also, as I have been reducing/stopping that my hair has started to look much better naturally. I guess it is just a cycle..