View Full Version : hairsticks pulled by strangers question
ImperfectBrat
December 24th, 2009, 05:10 PM
Today I was doing my last minute shopping with Future Hubby*. Our first stop was a WalMart. In the maybe 90 minutes I was there, I was followed over 7 times by different people all saying the same basic thing ( in whispers behind me)- " What do you think would happen if we pulled it out ?"
Now, I have been wearing hair sticks for a couple years now and have not heard this question from anybody who is not friend/family and just teasing me. I never knew a messy lazy wrap was so .... different ?
If my stick did get pulled out, is that a crime ? I tried looking it up but got the run around. I know the brains here must know some links. If it helps, this happened in New Hampshire.
* The good part... Future Hubby gave me $50 last night to be used ONLY for hair stuff :D
DragonLady
December 24th, 2009, 05:16 PM
I believe anytime someone touches your person without permission that it is a crime. You could probably report such a thing.
I'm not sure, though, that I would want to raise a big stink over a hairstick being removed. As it is, people are so afraid of approaching strangers, wary of getting to know each other and so distrustful of each other that even if they live on the same block they stay strangers for years or even for life. I'm not sure pulling out a hairstick is a valid reason to decide someone has assaulted you.
But...that's an individual call. Was it a kid just curious? Another adult being friendly? A scary nut? I think my reaction would depend on the exact circumstances. But, yes, I do believe it would be a crime.
ImperfectBrat
December 24th, 2009, 05:19 PM
The people doing it ranged from about 12 to (i'm guessing) mid 40's. Some of them actually followed my around the store to the point that I went to the registers and called Future Hubby on my cell. It was flipping creepy :(
jocosema
December 24th, 2009, 05:34 PM
I haven't had that problem with strangers. However at work is a different story. People love to tap my hair stick or try to pull them out, especially when I first started wearing them. I've found that wearing shorter hair sticks solved the problem. If I were in a store with someone following me around I would be inclined to turn around and ask them why they are making comments about my hair.
Sissy
December 24th, 2009, 05:53 PM
I haven't had that problem with strangers. However at work is a different story. People love to tap my hair stick or try to pull them out, especially when I first started wearing them. I've found that wearing shorter hair sticks solved the problem. If I were in a store with someone following me around I would be inclined to turn around and ask them why they are making comments about my hair.
yes, I think that is what I would do... turn around and ask them why they are doing it.
spidermom
December 24th, 2009, 06:00 PM
That sounds so unbelievable! Were you in the twilight zone?
tangocurl
December 24th, 2009, 06:05 PM
When I wear a hairstick style I tend to get direct, but polite comments from strangers wanting to ask me how I did my hair and wanting to touch it. It is sometimes kind of weird. I think my hair is pretty unremarkable, at least compared to hair here, and the styles I wear are pretty unremarkable as well. So I don't understand.
Google "people of walmart" and you might see why they're the types who follow you around.
Athena's Owl
December 24th, 2009, 06:08 PM
This is when you
1. abruptly spin around
2. make and enforce eye contact
3. say, "I beg your pardon?" in an incredulous and scandalized tone
and watch them *scurry.*
Carolyn
December 24th, 2009, 06:12 PM
I think I'd turn around and demand to know WTF they were doing following me. You can always ask an employee to call security if you are that creeped out. One incident wouldn't bother me too much but more than that would really wierd me out. People are freakin' loons these days.
Runzel
December 24th, 2009, 06:23 PM
This is when you
1. abruptly spin around
2. make and enforce eye contact
3. say, "I beg your pardon?" in an incredulous and scandalized tone
and watch them *scurry.*
Yes!!
Another variation is to do the first two steps and then stare. Them. Down. It doesn't have to be a mean, glaring stare or anything--with just a "regular" stare the target person will feel uncomfortable and get the message loud and clear...and quietly slink away. Gotta love nonverbal communication.
I would only do that, of course, if I was oncomfortable with the activity, which you clearly were/are. :)
jasper
December 24th, 2009, 06:35 PM
If my stick did get pulled out, is that a crime ?
I can't say, but I think if it was me, the next thing to happen might be!
SunshineHair
December 24th, 2009, 07:54 PM
I find their behavior to be rude, weird and scary! I am really glad they never did that to you because then it would have been a different situation, not a common one at that.
It amazes me how rude people are. I also have been surprised when reading here that strangers will just go up to a stranger and touch their hair! That would bother me sooo badly. I know some other culters are not uptight like we can be, but it isnt common and it is just strange. Although it coulnt be any more weird than the poor girl I kinda think I scared at the book store today! I just started to talk to her about long hair, and I was aware at how weird I was sounding and although she was nice she did look unsure of me :) And I just kept rambling...poor girl!!
Bottom line, glad they didnt do anything to you!!!!
Chrissy
December 24th, 2009, 08:15 PM
That is just weird and strange. I have no idea what I would do unless I actually encountered this. I think calling hubby was a good idea.
ItalianFlower
December 24th, 2009, 08:24 PM
That would definitely weird me out, but knowing me I would have turned around and been like, "ExCUSE you?" with a 'tude and a stare. I think you reacted fine, though.
Longlocks3
December 24th, 2009, 08:32 PM
You don't even have to verbally respond to people like this.
Turn around, and just look at them. Direct, non violent, eye contact.
I wouldn't say a word, just stare them down.
But I don't run this risk of hair stick pulling very often, consider my usual companion out of the house is 6'4'', 275 lb. DBF. Wanna borrow him? :P
DarkBotticelli
December 24th, 2009, 10:20 PM
Google "people of walmart" and you might see why they're the types who follow you around.[/quote]
Haha, people of walmart the website is hilarious, mainly because I think I have seen a few of those people in person.
This situation would totally weird me out. I would probably just openly confront them since most people don't want an open confrontation. It's weird enough when people ask to touch my hair when it is down. People are just odd creatures... :o
Crown of Glory
December 24th, 2009, 10:46 PM
Well, I guess it is pretty rude, but quite frankly reading your post made me laugh. =D I wear/do all sorts of things that are pretty different. Not weird, just different, so I'm used to just laughing it off. Or giving the afore mentioned stare. Then there's the smile treatment. Just turn, grin and wave. That causes them to pause, blink and stare as you flounce away. lol
SHELIAANN1969
December 24th, 2009, 10:59 PM
That is indeed odd, were the people whom were following you all together? or were they individuals, or different sets/groups of people?
7 times, to be followed, is quite a lot. I would have asked them what their deal was, I don't like people walking closely behind me anyways, and if I had indication that something was amiss, I would turn around and ask what the problem was.
Then I would have alerted management, fast. To me, their actions and statements would have been considered harrassment and stalking.
I know that when I am shopping in certain stores, I have encountered the same people over and over, because we were shopping in the same pattern. I was wondering if that's what happened and it just *appeared* like they were stalking/following you?
If I definately heard someone say something about my person, my personal belongings, and wonder aloud *what would she do if we did *X*, I would speak up, there is no way I would ignore those comments and allow it to escalate to a situation that goes from *wondering* to *acting*
We need to protect ourselves and make sure things don't get out of hand, one way to do that is to let the people know you are *aware* of them, and contacting a store employee and having them call management. ASAP!
If this happens again, alert an employee, get management, they can review the store tapes and see if their is a pattern or if it was just a coincidence.
MissThorne
December 24th, 2009, 11:10 PM
Sorry that had to happen to you. People can be so creepy sometimes.
Finoriel
December 25th, 2009, 01:23 AM
...
" What do you think would happen if we pulled it out ?"
...
Thatīs usually the point where I turn around quickly, smile > :gabigrin: and say something like "You donīt want to find that out. Really." and face them until they leave.
If I have people following me I just turn that around and follow them instead or I go to the kitchen-knive or axe isle and look for the biggest one available and play around with it...
Thatīs usually short before they decide they need something from the opposite end of town. :D
Elistariel
December 25th, 2009, 02:25 AM
Wow. I'd typically have just ignored them and gone about my business.
Now, if they managed to catch me at my crankiest, when I am PMSing, hungry and sleep deprived... (hey it takes a lot to get me riled up :p )
I'd have told them that if they tried pulling my hairstick out, they'd be drawing back a stump. :mad:
Do NOT mess with me when I am PMSy, hungry and sleep deprived.
:cheese: Woot!
Brownie
December 25th, 2009, 03:07 AM
One day a lady walking behind me pulled my braid. I turned around, stared at her with wide eyes and asked her if she wants me to touch her butt, it won't make a scrap of difference :D She was horrified and hied her way :lol:
BranwenWolf
December 25th, 2009, 03:21 AM
I have been touched and groped and prodded a lot and would go for direct, noisy confrontation. I am done putting up with crap that escalates from annoying to threatening. I will protect myself and screw being polite.
If it were just the people following me around I'd whip around and say in an annoyed tone: "Is there any reason you're following me? Perhaps you would like to speak to store staff?"
If it goes to the point of touching, all politeness and decorum go out the window. I'd yell "Why the hell are you touching me!" loud enough to hear in the next department. That ought to scare them away and should attract an audience.
bumblebums
December 25th, 2009, 08:06 AM
It's not assault or even stalking under the NH penal code. Assault has to cause bodily harm. Stalking has to be done purposefully and knowingly, and to me it sounds like these people didn't have a clue.
I find that I have a much better experience of life if I don't engage with crazy strangers. First, you never know if they might pull a gun on you. Second, negativity breeds negativity, and a confrontation can foul up my mood for the entire day.
Heidi_234
December 25th, 2009, 10:16 AM
That People of Walmart site :lol: - I'm okay with people dressing 'weird', but How come some people fail to put on clothes at all when going to the supermarket?! :crazyq:
SpeakingEZ
December 25th, 2009, 03:38 PM
I would have gotten security, too. Battery does have to cause bodily harm, but assault does not, according to its legal definition. Assault can be verbal, be it offensive or a threat of causing bodily harm.....
I actually did have a pen pulled from my hair once when I was in grade school. I was using it as a hairstick, and of two girls sitting behind me on the bus, one pulled it out because she "needed a pen." She probably grew up to be the same type of person who followed you around the store. Some people have no manners.
Igor
December 25th, 2009, 03:41 PM
One day a lady walking behind me pulled my braid. I turned around, stared at her with wide eyes and asked her if she wants me to touch her butt, it won't make a scrap of difference :D She was horrified and hied her way :lol:
Heheh, I will have to remeber this one :thumbsup:
sapphire-o
December 25th, 2009, 04:36 PM
I think my natural answer would be "what if I walked by and pulled off your glasses / watch / earrings (or whatever accessories they're wearing)? " I think people with any common sense would realize that taking off a stranger's accessories or belongings without permission is not OK. If you are curious about hairsticks you can always ask about it nicely.
I think you must look really cute. :) People never tease me. I think I look too stern.
Paul KMF
December 25th, 2009, 05:54 PM
My co-workers can joke or even give my hair a flip every once in a while and I don't care. I've had a few strange women rub my hair without permission, I just laughed and blew it off. (Can't say I really minded that, lol.)
But what your talking about is a whole new level of creepy. It sounds like they have a mental problem, I think I would have been very harsh to 'em.
If this happened to me I would turn around and if it was a guy I'd immediately get in his face. Since this involves you and another female I don't see anything wrong with slapping her right across the cheek. The police might but I don't. My motto; put idiots in their place.
Paul
Keildra
December 25th, 2009, 09:43 PM
I consider that the same as if you were wearing a braid and got the " what if we cut it off" I would consider it a form of attempted robbery, because they're taking something that belongs to you without permission. Also I agree with what sapphire-o said about taking their accessories and I'd say it and stare at them until they left me alone. It's not about being polite it's about protected yourself and your property
yellowchariot
December 25th, 2009, 09:48 PM
The people doing it ranged from about 12 to (i'm guessing) mid 40's. Some of them actually followed my around the store to the point that I went to the registers and called Future Hubby on my cell. It was flipping creepy :(
I could understand the 12 year old's. . . but the 40 year old's?!?! That IS insane!!
1. Guidelines for the 12 year olds:
*Turn around, look them in the eyes, and say "I wonder what would happen if I pull out your BRAIN!?"
2. Guidelines for the 40 year old's
*Turn around, while at the same time, making a hand reaching motion going into your purse/handbag, then calmly say "I wonder what would happen if I pull out my .357 magnum?" LOL ;)
trolleypup
December 25th, 2009, 10:59 PM
You know, there is creepy and there is clueless...and the responses to each ought to be very different. Many clueless people will actually get (at least part of) a clue with gently given information. A creep probably won't let it go with that.
Being confrontational off the bat is likely to escalate even the most clueless person. Better to make a little response at the beginning, rather than blowing up right away..at least that way, you'll have some sort of clue as to what kind of person is behind you.
Now, granted, I have the advantage in these sorts of situation of being male and all...but honestly, for most of these sorts of things, I just pull my stick and let my hair freefall down...then do it back up. I have a video on YouTube, but the settings got messed up, so it is all squinched up. And my usual style is amenable to that kind of treatment.
yellowchariot
December 25th, 2009, 11:04 PM
You know, there is creepy and there is clueless...and the responses to each ought to be very different. Many clueless people will actually get (at least part of) a clue with gently given information. A creep probably won't let it go with that.
Being confrontational off the bat is likely to escalate even the most clueless person. Better to make a little response at the beginning, rather than blowing up right away..at least that way, you'll have some sort of clue as to what kind of person is behind you.
Now, granted, I have the advantage in these sorts of situation of being male and all...but honestly, for most of these sorts of things, I just pull my stick and let my hair freefall down...then do it back up. I have a video on YouTube, but the settings got messed up, so it is all squinched up. And my usual style is amenable to that kind of treatment.
^ +1
I agree evaluate your situation.
vampodrama
December 26th, 2009, 02:18 AM
This situation is creepy, agreed. What I would do.... hmm, I have no patience for stupidity and would probably get loud and impolite very fast :D Basically if I heard someone whisper behind me "What would happen if we pulled it out" I would turn around, face them and say something in the lines of "Feeling lucky, punk? Just TRY me, I challenge you!" Is this the wisest thing to do? No, but that's what I probably would do. My friends are amazed why I still haven't gotten beaten up by someone because of my attitude :D
The bottom line is that when people are whispering something about you behind your back, they assume for some reason that you are also mentally challenged and very hard of hearing (in addition to looking freaky, as in wearing hairsticks ;)) So when you confront them, they usually back down, because they seriously didn't think you could hear them.
sapphire-o
December 26th, 2009, 02:46 AM
Honestly I think I scared off a lot of people when I was a new immigrant, and if you don't want confrontations but want to get rid of them you can do the same things: :D
- Ask them to repeat what they said, three times.
- Ask them to please speak very slowly and loudly.
- Then pick a particular word in their sentence and ask what that word means.
That would get rid of about 98% of the population. There's nothing to fear when you're in a public place in broad daylight. To get rid of them fast, just repeat what they said loudly "OH DID YOU SAY YOU WANT TO PULL OFF MY ACCESSORIES?". Half the store will be craning their necks to see what's going on there. They'll run away faster than wind.
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