View Full Version : My mom chopped my hair, I feel like crying..

April 25th, 2008, 01:42 PM
edited post, old post.

April 25th, 2008, 01:50 PM
Oh, MissHair, I'm sorry. Your mom did do a good job in that it looks nice and even and symmetrical now. I'm sure you can do as good a job trimming it yourself, though, and you can control the amount taken off yourself.

Just remember that it will grow back. Also, your hair is not what makes you attractive; that's mostly attitude. Hair is more like an accessory. We can have good accessories, bad accessories, really flattering accessories, but they're not what reall make or break your appearance. It does accentuate it though.

In any case, your hair looks really quite healthy. Hopefully your rapid growth will continue and your hair will sprint toward your waist!

April 25th, 2008, 01:50 PM
Honestly MissHair, while your hair was nice and long, i do think it looks better. It looks a lot more even and while you say that she cut into the healthy hair, now you know for sure that its all healthy.

I can empathize with you though because i had a BAD chop in february where i came home and cried to my husband for about an hour. THANKFULLY though, it is hair and WILL grow back.

Don't be discouraged, now it will grow out evenly and even more healthy than before.

It does look better. In my honest opinion, cheer up and remember that your hair is growing as you read this.

HTH :flower:

April 25th, 2008, 01:51 PM
Hey MissHair,

your hair got shorter than expected, but it looks absolutely gorgeous. Yes, you do feel upset about it. But you donīt have to be worried about your look. Your hair is still fantastic and the positive difference is, there are less layers.

Of course, your hair will grow back.

I see that you are disappointed by your mum, but probably she intended that you feel good about yourself and didnīt make your hair shorter on purpose.


April 25th, 2008, 01:53 PM
I don't think your hair is as short as you think, MissHair. The comparison photos are different sizes. From what I see you mother did a good job for an amateur. Now if she had cut layers into your hair then you'd need to have a talk with her but I think she tried to do the job you asked of her.


Future CCC-SLP
April 25th, 2008, 01:55 PM
I am sorry you are so upset about the chop. I know it is more than you wanted but this is now in the past. It is much more even now and while 5 months seems like a long time it will go by a lot faster than you think and it GREAT condition! I think in the future if you do not trust anyone but yourself you can improve your self trimming skills. This is my goal as every salon I go to they cut at least .5 to 1 inch. Please don't give up growing your hair just because of a cut, you have gorgeous hair! And although it isn't to your standards as "long"... it is. And you are still beautiful! If it helps wear it up for a while so you don't have to see the change and in a few months it will be back and in better shape!

Good luck! Many of us have been in this position, just be strong!

April 25th, 2008, 01:56 PM
MissHair - I dont' think it's at all as bad as you feel it is right now. Your hair looks beautiful and healthy and the hemline is much nicer. Don't feel badly - it looks great!

April 25th, 2008, 01:56 PM
My guess is that your mom didn't know how to do what you wanted. Cutting hair can be tricky. I'm really sorry that you have to go through this.

But calm down. Your hem is more even now, so that's a good thing. It will look good as it grows out for quite a long while, I think.

You may have seen my pre- and post-trim pictures recently. The lost length grew back in six weeks. We have every reason to assume that yours will do the same. Now get really quick at putting your hair up and back for awhile. Don't look at the length in the mirror. Try not to pay any attention to the length at all. Hair is like Santa Claus and the tooth fairy; it comes while you're not looking.

April 25th, 2008, 01:56 PM
I don't think it looks bad, honestly. It's healthy and shiny. And it's not short at all. Your hair looks more even now and of course it's still very pretty.
Now for the upset part: it's not uncommon to feel bad after you had some centimeters cut off. You try and try to keep your hair as healthy as possible so it can grow long and strong and then someone trims the growth of months in a few minutes. I now I felt like a short hair after a 1 inch trim (I just reached waist length and after the trim I obviously didn't anymore).
I got over it soon, because I focused on the other positive aspects of my hair: it was still healthy, shiny, my ends were nice and full and I had no more split ends. You can do that too: focus on the other strong points of your hair, not just the loss of some length.
But the good news: hair grows back. Yours will grow back too, I promise. It may seem like you'll never reach your goal, but you will. YOU WILL!

I hope I helped you a bit and you feel less upset :flowers:

April 25th, 2008, 01:56 PM
I was just browsing
While it's sad that you got your hair cut... the before picture looks actually very uneven :-|.. and the after one looks like a V shape to me.. It looks really good actually! (And i'm not just obeying what you asked :P)... Seriously.
And don't worry so much. Your hair will now grow in that nice shape you have now!

Maybe this will cheer u up:
My hair's still like 5 inches long all around. It will take me years to even get close to your AFTER pic!! So at least you're much closer to your goal :)

April 25th, 2008, 01:57 PM
Awww, I am sorry you lost inches. My mother did the same thing to me a few times. Your hair still looks glorious, though. It's so shiny and certainly worth the effort you put into it. Now that you've found these forums and are taking care of your hair better, it will grow back in no time, likely even healthier. I'm sorry you're upset.

April 25th, 2008, 02:03 PM
Thank you everyone, you seriously made me feel less desperate and upset. My mom did know what I asked for though, when I confronted her about the chop she said ''you had dry hair, I had to chop more off''.. Ah.. Oh well.. I cant undo this...

Thanks for the support and thoughts. Im gonna take the advice and pull my hair back and not look myself in the mirror for a while. Im gonna protect it with braids or updos and hopefully make it 10 times more healthier than it was before. I just wish I could someday, ever.. reach my goals. Ive been so patient... And now I feel like half of it is gone.. OK, thats a bit dramatic.. I can clearly see its not, but it feels like it.

You guys are right, it looks more even now.. And I think thats all that counts because thats really all I asked from my mom.

April 25th, 2008, 02:05 PM
I'm glad you feel better about it :flower:

To me, it looks like she cut your hair back to the length of the shorter pieces on the sides in the first picture. It looks more even definitely.

April 25th, 2008, 02:05 PM
I think it is healthy to shed a few tears when you are disappointed in a hair trim. Go ahead and get it out of your system. Once you're use to the new length you will be able to admire what a nice job she did. It is shaped very nicely. I bet it has great bounce and it definitely is shiny. You have the kind of hair that turns heads. Keep taking care of it, it will grow back, even longer than before.

April 25th, 2008, 02:09 PM
Aw, your comments warms my heart, thank you so much much. I do feel better already, this forum really is a good support system. I hope I can appreciate her cut when I see the result of my goal lenght.. I do admit that the previous lenght and uneven ends wasnt really looking that good from behind... So I'll give her credit for taking that off. I just have to get used to it and not overreact.

April 25th, 2008, 02:12 PM
Yes, your hair i a fair bit shorter. However, the hemline's nice and even and, even if she did cut off some healthy hair, now you know it's all healthy so when it grows more you know you'll have healthy hair. Don't worry, it'll grow back.

April 25th, 2008, 02:14 PM
I agree with everyone else.Your hair does look much more even , and its not as short as you think it is.Now you know that all your hair is healthy, and I am sure you will have a big growth spurt this summer an be ten times happier with your hair.

I can tell you for one thing, hair with an even hemline is much easier to grow out than uneven and highly layered hair. At least you went to your mom who did a good job in my opinion, instead of going to a stylist who would probably put layers in your hair without your consent.When I joined I had just had a terrible chop at a salon. I went from a few inches past shoulder , to choppy terrible layers that started at my ears, and the length was right at the neck bone.Look at my pictures in my profile.Hope that helps to put things in perspective for you.

Don't give up , its not bad at all. looks like you lost around 3 inches, and you will get it back in a few months.Remember hair grows fast during the summer months.

April 25th, 2008, 02:18 PM
Just think this: Now, since you have fresh ends, you can take REALLY good care of them and continue to have a really nice hemline as you grow longer.
Someone else said that you're hair isn't as short as you think it is, and I agree. The way I'm seeing it, it doesn't look like that dramatic of a chop at all. You may be set back some, but it will come back :flowers:

April 25th, 2008, 02:18 PM
I would be crying if it got cut to shoulder, but honestly it doesn't look like she cuts tons off. It looks to be no more then 1" at the most. Look at it this way not only did she get the dead stuff but also the split ends with it so you know you have beautiful healthy hair :flowers:

April 25th, 2008, 02:25 PM

At least you went to your mom who did a good job in my opinion, instead of going to a stylist who would probably put layers in your hair without your consent.

I agree with what you said, you have a very very good point. Thanks again everyone. You're absolutely right. Im back on motivation again. I just did a nice braid and my hair does feel so much softer! Im done feeling sorry for my self.

April 25th, 2008, 02:29 PM
I'm sorry you feel bad about the cut, but the ends look much better and more even. Your new hemline is gorgeous! :D

April 25th, 2008, 02:34 PM

I agree with what you said, you have a very very good point. Thanks again everyone. You're absolutely right. Im back on motivation again. I just did a nice braid and my hair does feel so much softer! Im done feeling sorry for my self.

Im so glad you feel better now, and have your motivation back:). You will reach your goal!We have a great hair support system here.

April 25th, 2008, 02:35 PM
Just wear it up and try not to think about it too much.

I had a bad trim experience a couple of years ago and now I am VERY careful about anyone that touches my hair. Its hard when its someone you love because you know they were trying to help.

I have had people think I was being silly by getting upset about a cut. They say its only hair it will grow but that didnt necessarily make me feel any better. It just takes so long to grow and I was thinking there goes 6 months of my life. Then I start thinking what if I die and I dont like my hair. I would hate to die hating my hair. If I die I would at least like to die liking my hair. I love the hairdresser I have now. If I say 1/4 inch that is all she takes. I tell her...if I die today I will die loving my hair! That is about the best compliment I can think of...lol

Anyway I know its hard and sooo frustrating.... God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...wear my hair up and try to forget the whole thing until it grows back and be careful not to let it happen again.

Blessings for a speedy recovery and wonderful health until you are restored.

April 25th, 2008, 02:35 PM
I think it probably does feel like a lot more is missing than actually is. My hair was so long I was sitting on it last year, and I had to start trimming it back, bit by bit. No matter how little I took off, my head always felt really light and it seemed like there was a lot of hair missing. I get so used to my hair that when there's just a little gone, I can really tell and it feels like it's a lot shorter. There wasn't, really, and it grew back so fast every time that I finally bit the bullet and went to a salon and had them chop it back to a more liveable length for me. My stylist also bleached a section and colored it magenta, so every time I start really looking at it and thinking, "Wow, she took a lot of hair off" the next thing I think is "Ooh, I have pink hair!" Even though I'd asked for it, I'd be freaking out if I didn't have my pink streak. Distractions FTW :) Anyway, I agree with everyone else, you hair looks gorgeous, and you've still got a lot of it. It's going to be back and advancing down your back before you know it, just try not to worry about it. And don't be too mad at mama.

It's been years since I let my mother trim my hair, and she used to say the SAME THING about having to cut more because it was dry. I never really got the logic in that one.

April 25th, 2008, 02:38 PM
You hair is beautiful, and despite the crop you know that you are growing completely healthy hair now and it is even :) And it WILL grow again, be thankful for your quick growth rate :)

April 25th, 2008, 02:39 PM
The hemline has evened and it really isn't that short. You need to find a way to stop cutting unevenly so this will not happen in future.

April 25th, 2008, 03:01 PM

and I was thinking there goes 6 months of my life

Thats exactly what I thought when she cut my hair. Like, I put so much effort into it, and now its gone. But I can also laugh at it now.. Because.. The work I put into my freakishly silly lookin hemline wasnt really that good. I can laugh at it now.. I was crying over nothing really.. Looking at it from a different perspective - god I am such an awful self-trimmer, haha. I owe my mom an apology, she dosnt owe me one. Hopefully now, it will grow out more thicker and even and look much much better than it did an hour ago.

April 25th, 2008, 03:05 PM
Yes, I think an apology and a cuddle for your mom is in order. I think your hair looks a lot better after the trim. Lovely hair! That will rush down healthily now - and it's still shoulder length hair after all. When I first saw this thread, I thought she'd cut it short! I reckon it still qualifies as long... :D

April 25th, 2008, 03:24 PM
Misshair, your hair is absolutely beautiful and as many have said, your mum did a great job. The last time I had mine cut was 27 months ago. It was SHORT. Now I think it's officially long and I don't even mind the layers as I think I will end up with nice "Fairy Tale Ends". Maybe, just maybe, now that it's all even, you should temporarily give up doing any trimming at all. Before you know it, it will be very long and if you need a trim for damage, you can do it then, if you like. Just treat it like fine silk and love it and don't worry. All is well.

April 25th, 2008, 04:07 PM
I know it's hard to lose the length, but Mom did a decent job evening it up. Grow on!

April 25th, 2008, 04:08 PM
Your hair is really pretty at either length. It does look as though it is a very gentle v-shape now. I'm sorry that you lost more hair than you wanted. I hope it grows back quickly. Don't trim it for awhile and I'm sure it will be back to its longer length in a short time.

April 25th, 2008, 04:13 PM
You have lost a little length, but I think the ends are more even and the shape is lovely. A very soft V. Also, I think your comparison pics are slightly different sizes or different perspective. You seem to be further from the camera in the later photo, so that may make you think the hair is much shorter.

I know you say you could not trim it yourself. Once I thought I could not trim my own hair. I lost 2 inches each time I saw a stylist because of this. Then I found the Livejournal community 'feyeselftrim'. Self trimming is all I do now. A stylist or a friend will not cut my hair again (unless it is a LHC friend of course who is accomplished in trimming.)

Join the self trimmers social group! We don't bite and we certainly dont cut (other people!)

April 25th, 2008, 04:26 PM
Thanks for your replies. I tried the selftrimming several times before, someway or another, I just seem to suck at it or not do it the right way. I need to keep practicing because even if my mom did a 'ok job', this is the last time I want my hair cut my someone else other than myself.

April 25th, 2008, 04:27 PM
Hair grows so fast in the summer. My advice is take excellent care of your hair and don't measure for about 3 months. It is so easy to get obsessive about length. Know that right now as you are reading this your hair is getting longer. I love your new more blunt hair line. It will really look great for a long time.

April 25th, 2008, 05:00 PM
Everyone is right, MissHair... Your hair, though shorter, looks great and now you know it's all healthy.

My hair has only started growing longer since 2005... I am trying to gear myself up for a trim, but don't even trust myself to do a good job. I do need to get one, though, because the ends are noticeably damaged. I have not measured yet, but it's past 32"... I always try to find someone I can trust and tell them to cut whatever they must to get it all healthy.... I just hope it's not going to be more than 3-4"!!!!

I do know how you feel... When I was just going into high school, my mother dragged me kicking and screaming into the back yard so her beautician aunt could cut it... and THAT was a bad chop! From waist length to VERY short and into 3 stupid layers... in 1975.

From someone with a similar experience... your mom did a great job, given that she is probably not a beautician.

April 25th, 2008, 05:51 PM

I assume that you diidn't have your bangs cut, so thats one hair goal you kept. Don't worry it will soon grow long and strong

Druid of Alba
April 25th, 2008, 06:59 PM
Please don't feel upset. First of all, your hair is NOT short. It is still long, and I can tell, by looking at it, that it is in amazing condition. It will certainly grow back, faster than you expect. Just tie it back and forget about it. Your hair is still long enough for updos! I hope you are feeling better soon. :)

April 25th, 2008, 07:58 PM
While you DID lose some inches, your hair was uneven and now looks much more healthy. It really isn't as bad as you think it is. I actually prefer the trimmed look, as it is more neat and tidy. It looks like it will grow out into a prettier hemline.

April 25th, 2008, 08:04 PM
I think your mother cut off pretty much the minimum possible to do what you want.

Your pictures are different sizes, which makes it seem like a bigger cut than it is.

But look carefully at the edge of your hemline at the right side of the photo. If you look where the shortest hair is, it is falling right at the center of your sleave, in both photos. The remainder of your hair has been trimmed so the opposite side of your hemline is at the same length, and the rest forms a symetrical "V."

April 26th, 2008, 04:22 AM
Thanks for the replies all of you. I feel much better and realistic about the cut.

April 26th, 2008, 07:49 AM
It looks really nice to me. I remember trimming my mom's hair for her once, and the scissors slipped on me, so to even it out, I had to make the overall length a little bit shorter. So, maybe that's what happened..not making excuses, but that could have happened to her, and the finished product turned out pretty good. You have lovely hair. :flowers:

April 26th, 2008, 08:33 AM
It has really beautiful shape now and if it grows so rapidly as you're saying it will grow out quickly:flower:

April 26th, 2008, 08:02 PM
I LOOOOOVE it : ) Your hair is so pretty!!!!!! I understand how you miss the length but I really, really like the way it looks now-beautiful!

April 27th, 2008, 03:59 AM
Aaaw thank you for the comments!! Ive noticed a good thing about my new haircut, it tangles less now. When my hemline was uneven it tangled up 24/7, now I havent noticed anything!

April 27th, 2008, 05:53 AM
Aaaw thank you for the comments!! Ive noticed a good thing about my new haircut, it tangles less now. When my hemline was uneven it tangled up 24/7, now I havent noticed anything!

You've probably gotten rid of those pesky splits and bent ends that are often at the ends (yes, I know you get splits further up, but there are lots at the bottom that will have been chopped off).

April 27th, 2008, 07:16 AM
As the Countess said, the pics are different sizes - if you draw an imaginary line from armpit (of your tshirt) to armpit in each picture it looks like the most that was lost from the centre of the V was one inch (2―cm!) only half a centimetre more than you wanted. As you asked for a V-cut it's only natural that the sides would look shorter than in the before pic!

As everyone says - your hair looks much more even now and it is very healthy and shiny! I'm glad you are a lot happier now you have seen the positives, and before you know it you will have gone beyond BSL and be well on your way to waist!

August 21st, 2008, 10:44 AM
I think it looks better. Now as it grows it will be all neat and rounded out. She did a great job, even if she did cut off more than necessary. It looks healthier, too.

August 22nd, 2008, 07:26 AM
My mom had always trimmed my hair when I was younger and kept it long. One day she just chopped it from mid-back up to my shoulders. I was so upset!!!!

August 22nd, 2008, 07:33 AM
I agree with what everyone else has said. it looks good! She did a good job, and it looks like a "V" to me!

it will grow back, no worries!

heidi w.
August 22nd, 2008, 08:07 AM
As I understand it, your mother is not a professional stylist and possesses limited, if any experience, with trimming hair and otherwise working with hair.

Given that, you can not expect professional results. Not even close.

It's well known that those with no experience tend to not understand.

I don't anticipate she was doing this to be mean to you.

What you need to do is take responsibility for your hair and go on a mission to find a stylist that is professional and that you can build a rapport with and can trust. You can't ask others to do this for you. Do this now, while you are not in urgent need of any trim or otherwise.

You can practice trimming on a doll's hair to learn how to better self-trim. I personally wouldn't self trim.

You can identify a personal friend that is headed for beauty school or in beauty school that will respect your requests.

OR my best suggestion, start interviewing stylists in your vicinity. There is at least one person somewhere who wants to work with you and can manage long hair. I've done this process over & over again several times. My experience is that an older man or woman who's long been in the business is the better choice over someone fresh out of beauty school needing to prove themself and their various abilities. More experienced folks tend to listen better and take it less personally if you don't want what they may suggest. More experienced folks will make reserved comments about what might look better. Often they will trim dry if you request it and allow you to detangle your tresses for them. When you find this person, still be prepared to spend a good sum of money for the service because it's still time and always tip extremely well. This builds that rapport and makes it worth their while to help you for, fundamentally, a simple task (if they don't wash, set, blow dry, etc -- and only trim).

Never sit in the chair right away. Discuss things and go home and mull all over.
Ask if they have ever worked with long hair? Any clients currently with long hair--what length is that? Have they ever had long hair?
Ask what they would want for the service?
Ask will they trim hair dry if you bring it in freshly washed -- or do they want it freshly washed?
Inquire about cost for services and how far in advance to schedule.

Do not do this process with friends.
The first time you attend, ask a friend who can watch attend with you (one that doesn't mind speaking up if too much is hinted at coming off).
Do not visit salons with friends.

You can ask friends for their recommendations and talk to the person.

If you attend an appointment and your person you're building a rapport with isn't available, salons often offer an alternative person to do the work. DECLINE. No exceptions. Simply re-schedule the appointment. You don't know that other person nor have a rapport yet. This would be like walking into any salon and sitting in a chair and letting them have at it.

I can't see the photos, but I'm sure it's not that bad. Yes, your hair will grow back. Difficulties are about learning the lessons we need to learn.

Hope this helps,
heidi w.

August 22nd, 2008, 08:12 AM
Uh, guys?

Seriously, this happened in April. xD Unless the Topic POster revives it to say how she's doing, this is all rather superfluous.

heidi w.
August 22nd, 2008, 08:17 AM
Sorry, I didn't see that--the date of April 08. It's easy to miss. It looked new on the first page of the Mane Forum!

heidi w.