View Full Version : Do you ever feel vulnerable about your hair?

April 25th, 2008, 05:54 AM
I feel kinda silly about this. Recently I have started wearing my hair down. It has finally grown past that awkward stage and is at a length right now that I love to wear it down. However, I feel vulnerable with it down...almost like it's all 'hanging out there'....exposed!! Does anyone else ever feel like this?

April 25th, 2008, 06:07 AM
Hey, I thought I was the only one who felt like that! I feel weirdly vulnerable and visible if I go out with my hair down, or even in a low ponytail or a braid. And my hair's not even that long!

April 25th, 2008, 06:15 AM
In fact, i do. And it's true that you Are more vunerable with you hair open! Someone could grap and pull it, or do someting to your hair what you dont want to. It can allso get stuck to things. When my hair is in a bun, it's much less likely that some crazy teengirl from my schools comes and starts making me braids without my promission (Yes, it has happened, many many times..)

April 25th, 2008, 06:15 AM
Yes, so much! And I think I feel so with good reason. I babysit my cousins so I'm always playing with them and it would get squashed and pulled on accident so I have to wear it up then. And at home I hold and play with my one year old niece, so it gets pulled and dirty then. So... I have to wear it up alot.

April 25th, 2008, 06:33 AM
I think I'm just the opposite.....I feel more "empowered" if you will and a sense of security when my hair is down.

April 25th, 2008, 06:38 AM
Oh i feel much more vulnerable with my hair down.....i'm aware it's easier to grab etc. But also things like catching nits on busses.
Though my main reason for feeling vulnerable with it down is that because i'm not happy with how it looks, i imagine anybody who sees it is going "why on earth doesn't she cut that nasty hair?!" silly maybe but it's still what i assume.....so i keep it up and it just looks nice and shiney.

Rheia Althia
April 25th, 2008, 07:11 AM
Nope, you are not the only one. When I have my hair down I'm always keeping an extra eye out. I usually only wear it down at home or dance performances. For work I wear it up.

April 25th, 2008, 07:15 AM
Yes. I've been attacked before, and having loose hair makes you a lot more vulnerable in a situation like that. I don't think I ever wear my hair loose anymore, unless I'm around friends.

April 25th, 2008, 07:19 AM
Yes! My hair is usually up because it wants to explore the world a little too much and get tangled, snapped, caught on/in things, etc. I'm working on letting it down more often, but I have much paranoia over it getting damaged while out.

April 25th, 2008, 07:24 AM
I definitely do, but I think that's because whenever I wear my hair down, someone ends up walking up from behind me and running their fingers through my hair. Even total strangers when I'm out grocery shopping!!:eek: I guess it's kind of flattering in a way, but it's also very unnerving... so I do wear it up now whenever I go anywhere.


April 25th, 2008, 07:24 AM
I don't like to wear my hair down--I'm not sure why. For one, I think having it off my face is more flattering--I feel like I'm hiding behind a curtain when it's down (because it grows straight into my face!). And it blows around and gets tangly and knotty-----

Last time I had a baby, my 2nd, I chopped it off for "ease". And before children, DH and I went to London with only a backpack each, so I cut off hair below shoulder length again for "ease". And both times I learned that IT'S EASIER TO POP MY HAIR UP than to deal with thick wavy short hair :)


April 25th, 2008, 08:09 AM
I think I'm just the opposite.....I feel more "empowered" if you will and a sense of security when my hair is down.
Me too. Apart that it is more flattering to me I think, because my face is quite round and my chin very small, when my hair is totally up, I feel I am projecting an innacurate image of myself, and a more vulnerable image at that. More quiet, submissive and weak. I am not saying that updos in general have this image (quite the contrary) but it is how they make me feel.
My hair is curly and tends to get big, it looks untamed, I identify much more with that than with the way an updo makes me look.
And well, my hair is not long enough to get stuck in things, and it doesn't tangle.

Of course, objectively, loose hair is just another thing to grab. But your attitude is the first thing that can keep you out of trouble, in my experience.

April 25th, 2008, 08:10 AM
I feel like that too. I usually only wear my hair down on washday (and that's only to work) or at home at night before I braid for the evening. I feel kind of nekkid with my hair all unencumbered. :gabigrin:

April 25th, 2008, 08:16 AM
i feel prettier with my hair around my face...but i too feel that it looks shocking down as it is pretty damaged and i'm working on that. With my hair loose...i get snide remarks from relatives so i tend to keep it up. Also at this lenght my hair is starting to get into things it shouldn't.

April 25th, 2008, 08:26 AM
Yeah, definitely. I like the look of long, flowing hair but it is so impractical at times. I constantly worry whether my hair is more prone to damage or not because it keeps getting in the way. Most of the times it gets stuck when I try to take my coat on and off, or the wind just blows it into every possible direction so it tangles like crazy and gets that stringy look... :(

April 25th, 2008, 08:28 AM
may be sometimes yes- but to wear longhair one has to be confident

Druid of Alba
April 25th, 2008, 08:31 AM
I am like Shanarana, I feel more powerful with my hair down.

April 25th, 2008, 08:53 AM
I usually wear it down.. not sure about the vulnerable thing. people come up to me to touch my hair, though.

April 25th, 2008, 09:00 AM
Sometimes, I feel hyper aware that it might get damaged, and that bothers me. I feel like OMG, my hair should be up! I do though think it's a big change for people who see me with my hair up all the time, so when they see me with it down, it's a big change. :D And that's pretty cool.

April 25th, 2008, 09:09 AM
I get rather nervous with my hair down. Not only is it difficult to deal with and control, it would also only take one scissor-weilding madman to chop it off. :scared:

April 25th, 2008, 09:14 AM
I don't especially feel like I am more vulnerable with my hair down--most of the time I have it in a braid anyway, so if someone wants to grab my hair, they can--but I certainly feel like my hair is more vulnerable that way. It gets tangled, stuck on things, caught under my backpack/purse straps and underarms, rubbed between my back and chair, etc., and I find myself worrying about the damage I'm doing to my hair by wearing it down. Which I suppose, in a way, makes me more vulnerable, because I'm distracted by my hair... :ponder:

April 25th, 2008, 09:23 AM
I definately feel as though my hair is exposed when it's down. My purse pulls at it, the kids pull at it when they hug me, and etc. I feel more secure when it's up and protected.

April 25th, 2008, 09:31 AM
Nope I love my hair down, I worked hard on it and it's a lot of fun to show it off =). Of course if I'm walking down an alley at night my hair will be up but in general no I don't feel more vulnerable. I feel empowered.

April 25th, 2008, 09:53 AM
I wear my hair down most of the time, but it can result in some interesting situations. Check out this thread I started.


Vulnerability in a funny way, not a dangerous one. :)

April 25th, 2008, 10:57 AM
I feel more vulnerable when it's short, I felt more empowered when it's on the longer side and down, I have not had my hair long by LHC standards (ever) so I can't speak to that, yet. At apl, I loved wearing it down!

capelli lunghi
April 25th, 2008, 11:05 AM
I feel more exposed when my hair is up a whole lot more than when my hair is down. I feel as though everyone can see right through me when up. I am entirely more confident with my hair down.

April 25th, 2008, 11:07 AM
Since I have joined LHC and started wearing updos every day I feel kind of naked with my hair down and I go out in public. Its like Im still undressed if I go out now with it down. Its like a sexy secret for someone special...lol

April 25th, 2008, 11:14 AM
At times I do feel wierd with my hair down becuase I am afraid that people can see my splits and some damage. I have even made my friends stand near me and tell me if they can see my damage. However, I still wear my hair down because my head gets sore if I wear it up for to long and also I am terrible at up do's.

April 25th, 2008, 12:44 PM
The only way I really feel vulnerable with my hair down is because I'm more conscious of it than when it's up and out of the way. I don't feel exposed, but more like I'm not in entirely in control of my hair. When it's up, I know it'll be smooth and tangle-free when I take it down - if it's down, I only kow for sure that at some point it'll turn stringly in the wind, get a bit rugged when brushing against bus seats etc. Having my hair up makes me feel more in control of the hair - it has nothing to do how in control I feel being of myself on the whole.

ole gray mare
April 25th, 2008, 01:23 PM
I don't feel more vulnerable when it's down, but I do feel more self-conscious...about it getting caught in things, about it getting tangled, etc. I feel more carefree when it's up.

April 25th, 2008, 01:23 PM
Its like a sexy secret for someone special...lol

That's how I start to feel now it is getting long. :agree:
I started feeling this way just a few days ago. But I also can feel empowered. Depends on my mood.
But since a few days, I really feel the need to put my hair up, as if I'm naked when I let my hair down. Very strange.

Hadn't thought about the being submissive comment, hmm, now I don't know what I want anymore :o

April 25th, 2008, 01:30 PM
Vulnerable... Not really. However, I find it very distracting! And kinda dangerous for those around me. Especially when I'm driving. Because I get distracted by the shiney that's hanging over my shoulders. I also feel more klutzy because I just don't know what to do with all of my hair!

April 25th, 2008, 01:32 PM
I am like Shanarana, I feel more powerful with my hair down.

Mark me in that group. I love the day after I wash to wear it down and flowing behind me. :)

Even when I kinda resembleHermione Granger from the back.

April 25th, 2008, 02:28 PM
Im kinda caught in the middle with my hair.

When its down I do feel more vulnerable , and more aware of things that could damage my hair, wind, clothing, my purse. I also feel like it looks ratty and dirty when its down and Its past the 3rd day since my last wash. I feel like people see it and say ewww, her hair looks terrible , she's lazy for not washing it and letting her roots get so long.

On the other hand, I dont feel that I look good with my hair up, so I like to wear it down for the first 2 days after my wash.

I hope that once it gets to BSL and longer, and my virgin hair has grown past my shoulders I will feel more comfortable with it.

April 25th, 2008, 03:10 PM
All the time. I prefer my hair down but I've found that if a situation makes me feel weird, it goes up. I can't stand having it down around people I don't know or in new situations. Part of it is because of how much attention it causes. I'm really a wall flower so I prefer to try to blend into the shadows as much as possible. Pointless being a redhead and into body mods but I feel safer with it up. I also get random strangers touching it.

The stories of people getting their ponytails hacked off scares me. My own b/f had someone take a flame to his hair and he's had 4 wads of gum worked into it before. So naturally I don't want to risk someone doing that to my hair.

April 25th, 2008, 04:40 PM
I'm with you, Shanarana I ifeel more powerful too. Go figure. I guess everyone is different. But for me, having long hair was like winning a war, because when I was a kid my mom always chopped my hair off. Sometimes she'd do it to punish me because she knew how much I loved long hair.
But time and geneitcs came to my rescue. I grew to be very tall like my dad, and one day when I was thirteen my mom tried to force me to get a haircut. I towered over her by then, and looked her straight in the eyes and said, NO. I've never looked back.

April 25th, 2008, 06:57 PM
Yes. I've been attacked before, and having loose hair makes you a lot more vulnerable in a situation like that. I don't think I ever wear my hair loose anymore, unless I'm around friends.

I am constantly aware of my surroundings for this very reason! If I'm not comfortable; my hair is up...

I'm doing the updo challenge, so my hair is up nearly all the time anyway, but I really only take it down when I'm at home or after a wash or something like that...OR around people that I'm totally comfortable with.

I can't remember who posted it, but it was something about someone lighting somone's hair on fire, jokingly cutting a ponytail/putting gum in someone's hair...I'm a Christian, but if somone did something like that to me...Let's just say, Jesus would forgive me! :D

April 25th, 2008, 07:22 PM
I feel more vulnerable with my hair down. I almost never, ever go out in public with my hair down. I like my hair, and think it's one of my nicer features, but it's also a feature that I am a little more private about. It's only down when it's drying, and in the afternoon or evening if I'm relaxing in front of the computer/with a book/with some knitting and the radio.

My boyfriend didn't see my hair down until several weeks after we started seeing each other for dates. That night was also the first night we kissed. :-)

Traditionally in Western culture, women were never seen in public with their hair down. Perhaps my emotions about it are a holdover of that.

April 26th, 2008, 06:44 AM
I can't say that I feel more 'vulnerable' with my hair down, but I do wear it up mostly in public and at work. I take it down at home and sometimes for special occasions, but it doesn't generally last very long...even at home, I'll find myself braiding it or putting it in a half up to get it out of my way.

Part of the 'up in public' has to do with protecting it, another has to do with how I generally prefer to portray myself....more 'put together' and proper. In addition to that, I almost always take my hair completely down for sacred, magical, or shamanic work, and to wear it completely down for 'mundane' time tends to both edge me into sacred mindset, and dilute (for me) the effect of deliberately freeing my hair for shamanic work. So that is another reason I keep it up most of the time. On wash days, though, I do wear it down at work until it's dry enough to semi-comb and put up in a big claw clip - my hair does this wierd expanding thing when it gets wet, and nothing else will hold it but my HUGE octopus-looking claw clip. :)

Rambling....it's awfully early, I'm at a friends house, I didn't get much sleep, but there you have it.

April 26th, 2008, 01:58 PM
I find it a mix of both.

I love it down because I love it (too many loves haha) and it helps me keep positive when people comment on it as well. But then when Im sat infront of teenage boys on the bus (I was badly bullied when I was younger so Im paranoid) Im always so scared that they'll cut it off! And then their is nits, small stick fingers, trapping, is it messy?, and plus I live by the sea and its almost always windy here! And as I am 200 yards from the sea my home is right in the windiest section!

I almost always wear it down at church. We (at my church) believe that women should wear headcoverings. And as I tend to wear either mantilla or beret I tend to look bald if I have it up or back. I am working on styles to wear it up now though because its a bit embarrasing when I find myself sat next to strangers (particularly men) and my hair sticks to them with static! haha!

April 26th, 2008, 02:23 PM
My hair is of course more vulnerable to damage when down, but in general I think that if my hair is too fragile to tolerate being down, then there is no point in my caring for long hair. As far a me feeling vulnerable-- well, I feel less exposed when it is down, but I also feel less uh... focused, I guess.

April 26th, 2008, 02:27 PM
I feel kinda silly about this. Recently I have started wearing my hair down. It has finally grown past that awkward stage and is at a length right now that I love to wear it down. However, I feel vulnerable with it down...almost like it's all 'hanging out there'....exposed!! Does anyone else ever feel like this?

Not me. :) I always wear my hair down with the sides pulled back in a hair clip. I don't feel vulnerable. No one has ever said anything creepy about my hair.
I like for people to see how long my hair is. Also, since I got my perm, I like to wear my hair down so people can see the waves/curls. I don't like wearing my hair up. I guess I like to show off my hair a little. (Is that a problem?) :confused: I've gotten compliments on my hair since the perm, and that makes me happy. Because of my weight, I don't feel particularly attractive in general. My long wavy hair is something I like about myself. I don't want to hide my hair in an updo.
Disclaimer: Nothing against people who like to wear their hair up. It's just not for me. To each her own. :blossom: :)

April 26th, 2008, 03:29 PM
Yes, I do. I mainly wear it down when I'm airdrying and that's when DH loves to come around and start touching or smelling my hair. I like the attention, but I worry it's going to snag on one of his buttons or he'll get it caught in his ring or something:rolleyes:.

Needless to say, I sit pretty rigid at those moments and take great comfort when it's back up in a bun and safely out of his way. Ha! I think it's kind of silly to be like that:D, but hey, I'm on a mission to long healthy hair and I don't want anything to ruin it. Perhaps once I make it to my goal, I'll lighten up a bit - then again, maybe not:p;).

April 26th, 2008, 07:43 PM
I actually feel more vulnerable with it up; I feel kind of small with my hair up (I'm a small person with big hair); perhaps akin to animals fluffing up to look bigger?
But this could also be just because I almost always wear it down, and it is very rare for me to wear it up. The vulnerable feeling may just be a reaction to change.

April 27th, 2008, 05:58 AM
Oh yes I definitely feel more vulnerable with my hair down. My hair never looks neat for long when it is down. It flies in the tiniest breeze and after a few minutes of having it down, its a tangly mess. I never wear my hair down outside my house for this reason.

April 27th, 2008, 11:02 AM
I have felt this way for years! I didn't know anyone else felt that way. I feel more vulnerable with my hair down in an emotional way. I feel more "soft" more "girly" less capable and like I look younger and can easily be taken advantage of.

When I wear my hair up I feel stronger, more confident, and like no one will mess with me. :)

Its funny and I have been working on wearing my hair down more and feeling confident while doing it. I have been getting better recently and I think a big part of it for me was a confidence issue, while growing up I had long hair I always wore down and I was picked on and teased unmercifully and I had a really poor image of myself. After I cut my hair when I got out of high school is when I got some confidence. (It was getting out of high school that helped, but I always associated the short hair with confidence.)

Anyway... :o

April 27th, 2008, 08:03 PM
I do...especially at work. I work with children, and I am terrified of...

dun, dun, duuuun....


So I wear it up.

April 29th, 2008, 10:13 AM
snowbird, I also feel exposed when my hair is up. I can't hide in my hair when it is all pulled back. Sometimes that feels good and sometimes it doesn't.

April 29th, 2008, 11:01 AM
Originally Posted by LaurelSpring
Its like a sexy secret for someone special...lol

I feel the same way. Seeing my hair in its naked glory is for my husband only.
I feel more able with it in a braid or bun or some sort of updo. Even a ponytail is a pain because of the length. I think it is at tailbone now. I hate tangles, and don't want any preventable damage or danger, and plus I have a toddler. So, it's both practical and keeping something personal private for me to keep my hair up or contained.

April 29th, 2008, 11:06 AM
I do feel like my hair looks like crap when it is down, or did you mean like vulnerable to breakage,splits from rubbing? And you constantly wonder as it is hanging there how many knots and splits are being produced?And thinking constantly maybe you should put it up to protect it's fragile non-life? Naw thats not me at all:whistle:

April 29th, 2008, 11:11 AM
I absolutely love to wear my hair down, I feel strong and goddess-like..

But I do feel vulnerable in the way that it can be easily damaged by getting caught or snagged, or someone just wants to touch it and rippes through my hair.. (Ugh, don't you hate when that happens?)

April 29th, 2008, 07:59 PM
I feel kind of strange with my hair down sometimes, depending on who you're around. When It's down at school, you can feel peoples' eyes on it. Then I think their going to judge you to see if you have split ends, or if it's in good shape for long hair. Sometimes I feel weird with it behind me, and I can't keep an eye on my hair, so I end up putting it to my side.
Another thing I hate about my hair down, is in winter. When you have to do the scarf around the neck and tuck in your jacket, that's when people stare. I like how I don't get alot of attention when it's up.

April 29th, 2008, 08:06 PM
I feel more vulnerable, especially when carrying a bookbag or purse and have to now move the hair aside, or it gets caught. Buns and pony tails are the way to go! ;)

April 29th, 2008, 08:44 PM
I feel really fierce when I have my hair down. I love having it out and on the loose; so dramatic and beautiful. It's like wearing an amazing pair of heels!

April 29th, 2008, 09:07 PM
I feel vulnerable with my hair down in public, but when I'm at home I like to have it down. It's almost like its... special.

May 2nd, 2008, 11:30 PM
Oh i feel much more vulnerable with my hair down.....i'm aware it's easier to grab etc. But also things like catching nits on busses.
Though my main reason for feeling vulnerable with it down is that because i'm not happy with how it looks, i imagine anybody who sees it is going "why on earth doesn't she cut that nasty hair?!" silly maybe but it's still what i assume.....so i keep it up and it just looks nice and shiney.

I feel exactly the same hehe :smile:

May 2nd, 2008, 11:59 PM
Depends with whom. With my DBF, I feel best if it's free; it's a lot more comfortable. But in public, I feel my hair is a little too wild and all-over-the-place if I leave it all loose. Half-ups confine it sufficiently--I like them best.

May 3rd, 2008, 06:51 AM
I absolutely love to wear my hair down, I feel strong and goddess-like..

But I do feel vulnerable in the way that it can be easily damaged by getting caught or snagged, or someone just wants to touch it and rippes through my hair.. (Ugh, don't you hate when that happens?)

Exactly how I feel!! I do love wearing my hair down around people I feel comfortable with, but out in public.... people can be so unpredictable, ya know?:(

May 3rd, 2008, 07:35 AM
Not that I have anything amazing to add, but I would have agreed with those who prefered hair down when at BSL. Now that I am closer to waist (I'm reallllly longwaisted:() I wear it up for work (I can't be professional with it swirling around me), up for around kids, especially when I take the kids somewhere. It's more vulnerable down because it gets caught in stuff. Up for outdoors activities (unless I'm drying it). I like to wear it down to go out with my husband or girlfriends, and I prefer half-up for church, shopping by myself, etc.

My husband and kids are the biggest reason I have long hair--they love it. I let my son play with it even if he damages it a little. So I guess I really am more vulnerable with it down at home, but I don't mind.

As far as a stranger touching my hair, I can't imagine anyone doing that where I live--that would be considered an attack. Of course people really don't look at each other much or talk to each other either:)

But in defense--those of you with curly hair must know how fascinating curls are to some of us "straighties." I am a curl toucher--but only people I know, I ask first, then I gently pat! Does that make me crazy?? I just think curls and waves look so soft and beautiful (although I'm perfectly content with my straight hair.)

May 3rd, 2008, 07:45 AM
I used to wear it up all the time at work and I felt vulnerable when I started to wear it down. I felt like I was walking around in my underwear.

But now I am used to wearing it down at work and I feel vulnerable when I wear it up. Feels like my neck is exposed.

So I guess I just feel vulnerable when I wear my hair different.

May 12th, 2008, 05:29 AM
i feel really confident about my hair until i step outside. then i get really insecure and it goes right up. i think that for me it is a combination of psychological and environmental elements. i love seeing others with their hair down, so go figure.

May 12th, 2008, 07:17 AM
I tend to feel vulerable on public transportation, especially when there's someone behind me. For example, one time I was on the bus, and there were a couple of kids wiggling around in the seat behind me, unable to sit still. They would sometimes trap my hair between themselves and my seat, and they'd laugh every time that happened, until they decided that it would be greater fun to just pull it. And their mom did nothing, but rather found this amusing, as she sat there with her technicolor weave firmly in place :( As soon as they let go I pulled it into a bun, and there it stayed until I reached my stop.

May 12th, 2008, 07:53 AM
Thankfully, I've never had people pull/otherwise attack my hair (not since I was a kid in the playground anyway) - perhaps because I live in a generally safe and comparatively reserved English town. But I do keep my hair up most of the time to protect it and especially if I am dealing with physical chores it gets in the way and I feel a bit anxious about damaging it. I never put my hair up until I found LHC (didn't have a clue how to keep it up) and now that i just have my hair down when i want to look pretty, i do notice a difference in having it down because I'm used to having it up - I feel all womanly, sensual and pretty. Usually if I am wearing it down for going out somewhere I will bun it with my ficcare till I get there. Though I have been caught unawares a couple of times taking my hair down, by guys who kind of thought I was coming on to them! I would like to sometimes go out with some of those pretty softer updos but I am not very good at them (and heavy, slippery hair doesn't help) and don't have anyone who is willing to help/is any better than me.