I'm ashamed. I dyed my hair for the first time in almost 2 years.

[Friesiangirl]

*sigh*

I went ahead and did it. I was convinced by society that my future long hair would be unstyle-able and that I would be unattractive. I was told it would not look mature and bussinessy and that there would be no way that I could be beautiful. I was told it would be too cumbersome and that it wouldn't be versatile.

I dyed it dark brown. It's a gorgeous color, honestly. But it's not mine.

The damage will never go away. Two years of growing cannot be undone. To think, two years from now I'll be halfway through college and if I chop the dyed off I'll be just where I was today. I'm dissapointed in myself.

I'm depressed. I hate it. I almost hate myself. I can't believe I did this.

What a waste of beautiful hair. I'm ashamed.

What should I do? Is there a bright side to this? Has anyone else been here?

Hayley

[MrsGuther]

I'm sorry you are having hair-coloring remorse. I have been there several times in the last 4 years. I have finally completely stopped coloring my hair whatsoever. Look on the bright side, now that you have colored your hair you will be able to tell from the roots exactly how much growth you are achieving each month, and this can motivate you to grow it even longer! Don't be too hard on yourself. We all do things to our hair that we regret, but the good thing is that HAIR GROWS!!! :)

[AbruptlyWanderi]

First, :grouphug:
I hope you feel better soon. I'm sorry I can't be of more help, but I don't have much experience with dye...

[Friesiangirl]

Brilliant idea about the roots. Maybe I'll just start fresh with all this. I'm really having that "find myself" moment. I think it comes with being a high school senior. And I'm off to visit family I haven't seen in years so that's a nerve-bender. I suppose I'll try to make this as positive as possible.

Hayley

[missjessiecakes]

You can just deep condition it and let it grow. Baby the colored parts. Grow and trim it off little by little or grow to your goal and then maintain until you get rid of it all.

I also just want to say hugs. I myself am addicted to the dye bottle. But perhaps henna will be in our future?

[Friesiangirl]

First, :grouphug:
I hope you feel better soon. I'm sorry I can't be of more help, but I don't have much experience with dye...


Thank you! Unfortunately, I do. I hadn't seen my natural hair color in 3/4 years until recently. I've been dying since I was 12.

Hayley

[Friesiangirl]

You can just deep condition it and let it grow. Baby the colored parts. Grow and trim it off little by little or grow to your goal and then maintain until you get rid of it all.

I also just want to say hugs. I myself am addicted to the dye bottle. But perhaps henna will be in our future?

I originally wanted to henna. I just didn't do it for some reason. Tisk tisk on me. Oh well, maybe I'll just grow to my goal (terminal) and use this colored "barrier" as a protective spot between the good hair and the bad. It would be nice to have ends that I could just dispose of later.

[Xandergrammy]

The bright side is that you are 17 years old!! I'd only just begun some of my horrible hair habits at that age! You say you like the color, right? So enjoy it while you have it. Continue to take good care of it. There are many members here who color their hair and their hair is in excellent condition. Relax a little and chalk this up as a learning experience. It took me 50 years to stop listening to what "they" said I should do with my hair. :flowers:

[Elphie]

:blossom:Enjoy the color if you like it! Hair dye doesn't have to be terribly damaging (imo) if you take good care of your hair otherwise. No need to beat yourself up over something like that!

[Runzel]

Here's a silver lining for you: since it appears you're planning to not dye your hair again for a very long time.....enjoy it while it lasts, because when it's gone, it's gone! True, it isn't what you ideally want, but you can know that what you want is on its way (growing in even as you read this) so while that dream is growing in you can go crazy with what you've currently got. :D

[Elainehali]

Believe it or not I used to bleach my hair within an inch of it's life.

It's OK.

[jivete]

Don't be too hard on yourself. One episode of dye won't ruin your goals. Hair is pretty resilient stuff.

[Friesiangirl]

You guys all rock so much! Thanks for all of your wonderful words.

Hayley

[clairenewcastle]

I bleached my hair for a number of years but as jivete says "hair is pretty resilient stuff". Mine is slowly recovering it's natural strength thanks to the great hair advice on this forum.
Enjoy your new hair colour and don't worry about it.:blossom:

[Cholera]

Honestly, I don't think dark brown is a very damaging dye at all. I heavily bleached the top layer of my hair, and apart from being slightly more difficult to brush, it doesn't feel all that different from my only-dyed-black underside. Plus, it'll fade! So cheer up! :)

[jojo]

Hey dont be so hard on yourself, it will fade and IHO heat is far more damaging than dye, I highlight and dont have bad hair. As long as you give it lots of moisture it will be fine and I bet it looks beautiful.

[Bellona]

Don't worry, as long as it's not bleach it will fade out. I have had dark hair dye significantly fade out of my hair in as little as a month before. I even tried blue-black once, and it even considerably faded, with the help of some sun. Dye isn't so damaging -- I think the flat iron does more damage! Just keep care of your hair and enjoy.

[Friesiangirl]

Thanks everyone! I keep the flat iron away and I''ll give my hair attention. I was flat ironing it (twice in a week) but it's weird not to have it wavy. It feels less thick. I think I'll give it some TLC this evening before I go to bed. IT's only a few shades darker than my natural color so if it fades, it might not even be that noticeable.

You guys (gals etc) are amazing. Thank you for all the support.

[Cat Lady]

Don't be ashamed Friesiangirl. It sounds to me like you haven't done anything that will noticeably damage your hair. In fact you made a really smart choice. (By this I mean you didn't use henna or indigo and then change your mind!)

As others have pointed out it will most likely fade back, close to your natural colour and I'm sure with a little TLC your hair will feel as lovely as before.

I've had my hair bleached to platinum and flat-ironed, which is much more damaging than what you have done, and yet with a bit of care it is recovering nicely.

This sounds like it will also inspire you to be more true to yourself, and the fact that you care so much about your hair, to worry about what you have done can only be a positive indicator for the future.

[Kitara]

I had dyed my dark blonde hair a very dark brown and it faded over about 8 months to be nearly the same as my natural color. I'm gonna second what others have said that one time with dye is not the end of the world and your hair will probably not show any extra damage.
Enjoy having something different, baby your hair, stop beating yourself up over it, and use it as a reminder to use the 2 week rule from here on out.

[Friesiangirl]

The two week rule will be my new best friend. In other news, on my head is the Aussie 3-min miracle and Eqyss Mega-tek for the night. If my hair needs anything--those two are bound to have it.

'Night everyone :)

Hayley

[bubbles_87]

aw its okay. First off you havent dyed it in years. If you did it like 6 times in one year (talking about myself lol) then yeah I would feel terrible. It will eventually fade and if you ever dye it again use a temporary one like Clairol natural instincts it fades after 28 washes I think.

[Loviatar]

I managed to 'pull' a lot of permanent dye out by heavy oiling overnight, then COing it out, if that helps you at all. (And I didnt mean to pull my dye out at the time, whoops).

[alys]

I'm sorry you feel so badly now - please try and cheer up:) I wouldnt look at it like it's the end of your hair, or that 2 years have been wasted. I color my hair, and I do need extra TLC and trims to compensate, but all in all it's not the end of your pretty hair. When I start feeling silly about coloring, I go on the other forums and read about the girls that permed, then 3 days later bleached, then 3 days later colored over the bleach, then 2 days later went back to the bleach. Thier end result was mushy, structurally anhiliated hair. Your end result is a color you don't fancy and perhaps a teeny bit of damage. Personally I would give it a few days/week and see how you feel. Whatever you do, dont try lifting the color, that's even worse than leaving it be :0

[GlassEyes]

Uh, Color Oops it out? Or maybe try honey lightening for a bit?

You can usually remove darker hair dye without too much damage. The end result might not completely match your original color, but it'll probably be close. That said, it might fade quite a bit anyway. It's not like you hennaed, or anything--there are things you can do if you truly feel as if you made a mistake.

[Leena7]

Don't worry too much about it. Dark dye tends to fade a lot anyways. You may feel bad now, but I'm sure that in a short time those sorts of thoughts will enter your mind less and less as you become distracted by daily events. You have plenty of time to grow long, fabulous hair. There are worse crimes than dying your hair. If you want virgin hair, I'm sure one day you will achieve it.

[Spike]

< pats Friesiangirl > There, there. You had an outcome you didn't like, and that's hard. However, there are some non-sucky bits:

Congratulations on having a "finding yourself" moment. Some people never do realize who and what they really are, and spend their whole lives blown by the wind of others' opinions.

You deposit-dyed instead of bleaching. That's not nearly so hard on your hair. Baby the dyed length and have some patience.

That patience bit? That goes for with yourself, too. No sitting in a corner beating yourself up.

Hair grows and hair sheds. You can get back to virgin hair without whacking the length off--just let nature take its course. People shed an average of over 100 hairs per day, and 100 new hairs begin sprouting up. Your dyed strands will fall out eventually, and all you have to do is step back and let them.

Or not. Some dyers on this list swear by mixing henna and indigo for a deep dark brown. They find they get the benefits of henna without the wild orangey shades the stuff is prone to.

Me? I'm watching my silver creep in (and loving it, which keeps me away from the dye bottle). Talk about getting the lecture from the outside world that your hair will be unmanageable, unprofessional, and UGLY. But I want to be an old lady with silver hair down to my knees, and I can't have that if I focus on trying to make everyone else happy with my hair.

[CrisDee]

[quote=Friesiangirl;886970... I'm depressed. I hate it. I almost hate myself. I can't believe I did this.

What a waste of beautiful hair. I'm ashamed.

What should I do? Is there a bright side to this? Has anyone else been here?[/quote]

OH I sure have, am there now as a matter of fact, not with color but with cut. Don't know about your situation, but I find that with me, when I do something radical and drastic with my hair that I kinda knew I'd regret, but I do it anyway - it's because there's been something big in my life over which I felt that I had no control, and that the only thing I could control at that time (for better or for worse) was my hair. Be good to yourself, take some of the wonderful suggestions above, and consider yourself hugged :grouphug:

[fleurdelis]

Well...it is not like it is is easy at 17 to have always the same hair....I get those attacs if I should dye or not every month......I am actually pretty sure I´ll do hightlights soon, cuase I am kinda bored......as long as the colour turned out well enjoy it :)

[Friesiangirl]

Thank you so much everyone! I really appreciate all of the opinions and if I ahd more time, I would thank everyone individually. Take care everyone! Your kind words have really cheered me up.

Hayley