hairdresser says cut 5"...what do you think?

[tinker bug]

so I went to the hairdresser for some semi-permanent colored extensions just for fun, and she offered a free haircut with them. For the pre-appointment, she said she wouldn't have to take much off because my hair is virgin and well taken care of. Then, after they were in, my mom--who has been insisting for some time that my hair needs to be cut back to BSL or waist at the most--asked how much needed to be taken off. The hairdresser said 5" and I'm not exactly trusting her judgement because of the way she treated me and my hair at the appointment (she was rude about my religion and hair length, wasscrubbing while she washed, totally RIPPED through my hair while combing...I could go on forever). The funny thing was that everything she did, she told me not to do before the appointment because its bad for the extensions...
I usually cut 1/8 of an inch to 1/4 off every 2 months or so to keep a blunt hemline, so 5" seems like a lot for me. opinions? I'll try to post pics if I can figure it out C:

ETA: Pictures on pages 4 and 6.

[Anje]

Personally, I'd skip a rude hairdresser entirely. Do you really want to pay someone who insults you? Who might take extra length off because they don't like you?

[chrissy-b]

Five inches seems like a lot. If you don't have a lot of damage, and are happy with your hemline I wouldn't cut that much off. I also wouldn't go back to this woman if that's how she treated you and your hair the last time you saw her.

[Speckla]

I'd say thanks but no thanks. It doesn't sound like she treated your hair well and she'd probably cut off more than you want.

[jojo]

What the above poster said, no way would i pay to be treated that way.

[little_acorn]

I'd say no, because she sounds awful

[tinker bug]

can anyone direct me on how to post pictures? ahahah

[Honey39]

I went to the hairdresser yesterday, and she cut off my quarterly 1/2 inch as requested! I would not go back if she was rude or ignored the fact that I was growing my hair. I've been to her for the last 18 months, and she is fabulous. I pay a lot, but I get the colour I want put in, and a trim. I don't get this deal where people don't get what they want at the hairdresser. I'm always very specific.

That said, I was watching some other people, and they let the hairdresser suggest much shorter cuts than they wanted, and they just went along with it. One woman went in for a blond bob and the guy cut a pixie with a long fringe. It was really pretty, but not what she had asked for, and he cut so much hair off. I think they suggest stuff, and it's up to you to say yes or no. Maybe that's the issue, you have to be totally clear about what YOU want!

[Vrushali]

I agree with all the advice given here. Do you really want to pay someone who mis-treats you? Besides, if you are happy with your hair and there isn't any damage, you really don't have to take 5" off (unless YOU want to! :flower:)

[Honestwitness]

I say keep doing your own trims. If you decide you need to take off five inches, you can do so yourself for free. But, I would never take five inches off at one time. I'd take off half an inch at a time and see if you're satisfied with your hair. If not, you can always take off another half inch a few weeks (or days) later.

[Carolyn]

The question is what do YOU think? If your hair is in good shape and you are happy with it, then no you don't need it. She was rude and abusive to you. Do you want to pay her money to treat you like that? I think you need to new stylist. There are good ones out there if you look hard enough.

[Themyst]

The hairdresser sounds just horrible. I wouldn't go back to her.

[MsBubbles]

Hmph...I'd cut off 5" only if it were what *I* wanted to do, not somebody else.

Can you wash your hair yourself before going to a (kinder) hair dresser so there's no scrubbing and ripping going on? That happened to me last time I had my hair colored and I'm never going to put my hair through that again. Afterwards I wondered why I let her do it, and then pay her for it?!?

Can you go to a salon without your Mom?

[tinker bug]

http://s870.photobucket.com/albums/ab266/Kelsey_Dana/progress%20pics/
k, i hope thisworks for y'all C:
The reasin my mom wants me to get my hair cut by the hairdresser is because she's offereing it for free, and my mom's the kind of person who takes anything if its free, and since I'm 17 and still live in her house, shes incharge, so...
I don't know if I want to cut that much, but I think I'm in need of a trim...
ETA: I forgot to say the pictures where my hair is wet is with SMT so you can see the thickness of the ends easier

[Longlocks3]

http://s870.photobucket.com/albums/ab266/Kelsey_Dana/progress%20pics/
k, i hope thisworks for y'all C:
The reasin my mom wants me to get my hair cut by the hairdresser is because she's offereing it for free, and my mom's the kind of person who takes anything if its free, and since I'm 17 and still live in her house, shes incharge, so...
I don't know if I want to cut that much, but I think I'm in need of a trim...
ETA: I forgot to say the pictures where my hair is wet is with SMT so you can see the thickness of the ends easier

Maybe I was a bad child but at 17, my parents had NO say over what I did with my hair. Legally, at 18, you are considered an adult. A parent is suppose to ease you into becoming responsible for yourself. So, I'd say do what you want! Sorry for the mini rant!

Just wanted to point out though that the extensions can cause damage. But they are probably less damaging than dying all of your hair.....

[sedonia]

She probably wants to cut 5" off because the ends are thinner than the rest of your hair. Lots of people like a wispy fairytale hemline, but a hair stylist probably wouldn't appreciate the look.

The important question is do you like your hair? It comes down to what you want. Don't be bullied into doing something you don't want to.

If you mom will only pay for your haircuts under her terms, you could always trim the ends yourself. It's not rocket science.

[tinker bug]

If you mom will only pay for your haircuts under her terms, you could always trim the ends yourself. It's not rocket science.

please refer to my first post; I do trim my own hair, but since the haircut is free my mom wants me to go for it.

[Lamb]

The reasin my mom wants me to get my hair cut by the hairdresser is because she's offereing it for free
The saying "you get what you pay for" applies here, I think. :cool:

I would not do it - not necessarily because of the 5" lost, but because of the hairdresser's attitude. Getting my hair cut is bad enough, allowing someone who has been so rude to me do it is worse.

Trimming your hair yourself is free, too. :D

[Lamb]

please refer to my first post; I do trim my own hair, but since the haircut is free my mom wants me to go for it.
The question is, is your mom's word law here? Can you explain to your mom all you have written in your first post, closing it with "I wouldn't let this woman cut my hair if she paid me for it, let alone for free?"
Perhaps your mom can get your free haircut?
I can't imagine your mom would want to force you into this if you explained to her why you don't want to do it.

[enfys]

The cut is free with the extensions, right?

Unless you want the extensions more than the cut I'd say "Ooh, I changed my mind, I'll leave my hair how it is". No paying for extensions, no cutting.

Her attitude sounds plain wrong, and how easily will 5" become 8" once she gets going?

[sedonia]

please refer to my first post; I do trim my own hair, but since the haircut is free my mom wants me to go for it.

Sorry, I missed that.

[Carolyn]

Maybe think about how much do you really want the extensions? Could you get some clip in ones?

[Bonkers57]

That is key! Tell the hairdresser exactly what you want. I used to bring photos of the styles I wanted. A good hairdresser honestly appreciates the input.

But if one was rude to me, all bets are off.


I went to the hairdresser yesterday, and she cut off my quarterly 1/2 inch as requested! I would not go back if she was rude or ignored the fact that I was growing my hair. I've been to her for the last 18 months, and she is fabulous. I pay a lot, but I get the colour I want put in, and a trim. I don't get this deal where people don't get what they want at the hairdresser. I'm always very specific.

That said, I was watching some other people, and they let the hairdresser suggest much shorter cuts than they wanted, and they just went along with it. One woman went in for a blond bob and the guy cut a pixie with a long fringe. It was really pretty, but not what she had asked for, and he cut so much hair off. I think they suggest stuff, and it's up to you to say yes or no. Maybe that's the issue, you have to be totally clear about what YOU want!

[Bonkers57]

Thanks for posting your pics, tinker :)

I understand your mom wanting a bargain, but I'd stand firm and tell her and the hairdresser that you don't want 5 inches cut off the ends of your hair. Then tell the hairdresser how much you want trimmed, whether it's 1/2 inch, 1 inch or whatever. Since it's free your mom isn't losing anything.


http://s870.photobucket.com/albums/ab266/Kelsey_Dana/progress%20pics/
k, i hope thisworks for y'all C:
The reasin my mom wants me to get my hair cut by the hairdresser is because she's offereing it for free, and my mom's the kind of person who takes anything if its free, and since I'm 17 and still live in her house, shes incharge, so...
I don't know if I want to cut that much, but I think I'm in need of a trim...
ETA: I forgot to say the pictures where my hair is wet is with SMT so you can see the thickness of the ends easier

[spidermom]

I've had to have that much cut off my hair before, but I could feel the damage so agreed. I wouldn't have done so for somebody rude. If your ends are damaged and feel rough and "grabby", you might need a cut, but don't get it from the same rude stylist.

[paperwhite]

Wow, she sounds pretty awful... And just because the haircut would be free doesn't mean that you should take advantage of it. If you don't want 5 inches cut from your hair, definitely do not do it. "Because it's free" is probably one of the worst reasons I can think of for cutting your hair. If you do feel like you want to take 5 inches off, have someone else do it or try it yourself. There's no way I'd let that woman anywhere near my hair again. She's rough, rude, and hypocritical. No thanks.

ETA: I understand that you still live under your mother's rules, but would she really force you to take a free hair cut just because it's free? You can always politely decline, or like another poster suggested, see if your mother can have it instead of you.

[bubbles_87]

5 inches is chop not trim...lol If you want to get a trim have someone you know like a friend or family do it for you. I always have my mother trim my hair the way I want it and it turns out perfect! I wouldnt let that hairdresser do it.

[Xandergrammy]

This hairdresser sounds evil. I wouldn't let her touch me. I hope your mom doesn't force you to go back to her.

[Keildra]

Rude hairdressers always bother me. Just because it's free does not justify five inches. I would politely decline. When I was 17 my mom would suggest things about my hair to me but she wouldn't dictate what I did to it. She always said "it's your hair, you have to live with it". but if you mom is forcing this loss of inches try to compromise.

[Anywhere]

Why chop 5" if it's not damaged? I think she just thinks your hair is too long, and wants to cut off more than necessary. (my hairdresser a few years back went "you're still keeping it long, right?" when i went in for a trim. I left with a good 5~6" cut off, bringing me back to BSL...)

but if you want to go for it, then go for it. As long as you want it.

[Shermie Girl]

can anyone direct me on how to post pictures? ahahah


I didn't read the entire thread, so if someone already posted the answer... Sorry. (Sorta. :twisted:)

To post pics on the forums, you need to host them on a photo sharing site. Like Photobucket. (I use Photobucket, works well for me.) But there are a lot of them, try some out and see what you think.

Once you upload the pictures to the site from your computer (follow the directions for the site you choose, it isn't difficult, at all), make sure to resize them down a little, so that they aren't so huge that they totally kill dial up users or force everyone to scroll across to see the picture or read text.

Next, write a post, then go to your sharing site and get the [img] code for the pic. On Photobucket, it is the last one. You just click on it, then do ctrl-c to copy the code. Come back to your post, click your curser where you wish to place your photo, then do ctrl-v to paste the code in the post. Finish your post (if you wish to write more) add more pic codes, what have you.

Click on Preview Post to be sure that it all worked right. If so, click Post Reply. If not, you may need to erase the codes and try again.

Posting pics takes a little playing around with to get the hang of, but once you have it down, it is really easy and doesn't take a whole lot of time. :D

I hope this helps.

[ktani]

Free or not, it does not sound as if the experience will be a pleasant one for you to have that stylist trim your hair.

It is much better to have a nice relaxing trim by someone you can trust not only to do a good job but listen to how you feel, respect your views on any topic and your wishes on how much to trim.

It is your hair and you are a person as well as a client. A professional demeanor can get her referrals. I have no idea what she must have been thinking to have treated you that way. I vote stay away.

[Tressie]

First she said you needed very little "taken off", because your hair is virgin and well cared for, and then she says you need five inches taken off? Did I get that right?:confused:

If this is the case, I can tell you that I wouldn't go back to this stylist. Let someone else enjoy her rude behavior.:rolleyes: Run in the opposite direction!:D

[Elenna]

This hairdresser may be offering a free haircut, but her real goal is to get repeat business which costs mucho money in the long run. I really find it deporable that this hairdresser is trying to intimidate you into getting your hair cut much shorter.

[Clarisse]

I got layers and high lights 2 years ago - for free. I still hate them. Just my input :P

[tinker bug]

thanks everyone for the replys, its much appreciated C:
my moms been bugging me about cutting 5-8" off for about 8 months now, and shes the kind of person who gets her way. No matter what. We're talking personality disorders here. I feel like I *sort of* need a trim, but I'm not sure how much, thats why I posted pictures--for your input.
I should've added, the extensions are already in, you can see them in some pictures (which I will add to the post momentarily), and I understand they can be damaging, but what the heck, I'm 17--when would I be able to do this again!?!??!
I'm really wondering how damaged my ends look. I've noticed about 6 split ends (I never used to split anymore) and they're about 1/8 of an inch up the shaft.
here come the pictures! (I hope...)

http://i870.photobucket.com/albums/ab266/Kelsey_Dana/progress%20pics/S7005108.jpg

http://i870.photobucket.com/albums/ab266/Kelsey_Dana/progress%20pics/S7005109.jpg

http://i870.photobucket.com/albums/ab266/Kelsey_Dana/progress%20pics/S7005110-1.jpg

http://i870.photobucket.com/albums/ab266/Kelsey_Dana/progress%20pics/S7005111.jpg

http://i870.photobucket.com/albums/ab266/Kelsey_Dana/progress%20pics/S7005110.jpg

this last one is wet with smt so you might be able to see the taper easier
http://i870.photobucket.com/albums/ab266/Kelsey_Dana/progress%20pics/S7005113.jpg

I should also say, my hair had been braided and was on washday #5, wearing mostly braids everyday so it has a tendancy to be... crazy towards the ends. Is this usual for damaged hair or just long hair?

[Bene]

Normally, I wouldn't tell someone to cut, but I can see why the hairdresser suggested 5 inches. Your ends are considerably thinner than the rest of your hair. Still, I'd go to a different person to do this. The woman obviously doesn't know how to deal with long haired people.

[sapphire-o]

If that's my hair I'd cut off 3 inches, and do it by myself. :) That's exactly what I did couple weeks ago. My ends are pretty thin, too but I don't mind having a bit of see-through ends. My hair has a lot of taper if I want solid thick hemlines I'd never have long hair.

About your mom, just do the cut yourself and tell her "I just saved you money and time." :D

[Bonkers57]

I'm sorry to hear that :( It must be difficult for you. :grouphug:


thanks everyone for the replys, its much appreciated C:
my moms been bugging me about cutting 5-8" off for about 8 months now, and shes the kind of person who gets her way. No matter what. We're talking personality disorders here.

[spidermom]

Where are the extensions and what are they doing for you exactly?

[JamieLeigh]

I can't tell where the extensions are either...maybe it's just me. :shrug: I would DEFINITELY not let that woman cut my hair. And I'm honestly surprised that your mom can sit by and let someone be that rude to you, especially over your religion. I mean, my mom and I aren't on the best of terms, but she'd be up in arms over something like that, if for no other reason than I'm her territory, and only she gets to bully me like that. ;) lol

If it were me, I might cut 3" but no more than that. And I'd either do it myself or find a stylist who isn't so rude, and will do exactly as I say. (the second option seems to be the more difficult one) I don't know your hair-growth patterns or history, but as another poster said of her own hair - if she wanted thick, full ends she'd never have long hair. Sometimes you have to choose between length and thickness. :flower:

Good luck with whatever you decide. It's your hair, not your mom's, and you should be allowed to enjoy it on your own terms.

[tinker bug]

The extensions are more on the sides--green on the right and blue on the left. I got the extensions put in just for fun, seeing as I won't have many more opportunities where green hair is appropriate :D
I think I'll cut an inch off myself towards the end of this week and see where it goes from there. I need to go back to the hairdresser wednesday the 16th so she can make sure they're not slipping. She was pretty intimadating about me having to get my hair cut by her and only her while they're in and that I must use mega-cone salon shampoo and conditioner. I did a CO with suave naturals last night. I guess she'll just have to deal with it :D

[ericthegreat]

Tinkerbug, I wouldn't let ANYONE who treated me rudely to so much as touch my hair. Especially if I'm paying my money which I worked hard for. And especially not a stylist that disrespects my hair!

There are good hairstylists out there that are kind, considerate and actually LISTEN to what their clients want. Find one of these hairstylists instead. You will feel instinctively who is a good stylist. He or she will listen to to what you actually want, they will actually treat you kindly instead of roughly scrubbing your scalp, and you will actually love the end result of what they will give you because you feel the trust that exists between you two.

[Tressie]

Well, tinker, your ends looked thinner in the first pic than in the others, so I'm not so sure they are really all that thin. There is a thread or post here detailing Feye's self-trimming method. Do a search (I don't know how to post a link, sorry).

IMHO I would trim a very small amount and see what you think. If you need to trim more you always can! I don't believe I'd go back to that stylist, even to have the extensions checked. Her behavior is inexcusable and you shouldn't have to expose yourself to her ridicule or intimidation!

[invisiblebabe]

Normally, I wouldn't tell someone to cut, but I can see why the hairdresser suggested 5 inches. Your ends are considerably thinner than the rest of your hair. Still, I'd go to a different person to do this. The woman obviously doesn't know how to deal with long haired people.

I agree :) I'd cut to hip length if it were my hair.

[Alia]

I don't know, but if she is already rude and disrespectful, and says 5", I would be really surprised if only 5" came off, or if layers or some other such nonsense weren't cut in at the same time. :shrug:

Also, when my mom gets fixated on a sale/ deal/ freebie to the point where it gets obtrusive or obnoxious , if I have the $$$, I'll give her the few measly bucks she'd have saved just to move on from it. Just a thought.

[bigmama8]

The first picture looks longer than the others. I can't tell if it's a reflection or not. In the other pictures, your hair doesn't look too bad. If you want to trim, I'd only trim an inch at a time, like others have advised.

Also I would be afraid to trust that hairdresser. Here's the link to Feye's hair trimming instructions.
http://community.livejournal.com/feyeselftrim/

[Gypsy]

and I understand they can be damaging, but what the heck, I'm 17--when would I be able to do this again!?!??!

Umm, okay. Your age has nothing to do with what you do with your hair. That is the same mindset that says a woman over a certain age has to cut her hair. You can wear extension- if that's what you want- until you are 100 years old.
I would cut- not trim- those ends personally, they are see through thin BUT it's not my hair and if it was, I would not let someone bully into doing something I didn't want.
Your hair. YOURS. Does someone else tell you what to do with other parts of your body? You really would be happier finding a more compassionate and long hair friendly stylist if that is the route you want to go.
What is it you want the extensions for? For length you already have or for thickness?

[DarkChocolate]

I would never let anyone who treated me so rudely cut my hair either. I think your hair is wonderful:) I love your gingerbread color.

You being only 17 means that you have to live under rules about having guys over or when you can take your parents car out but not over whether or not you get your haircut.

[babybabycat]

Personally, I'd skip a rude hairdresser entirely. Do you really want to pay someone who insults you?

This is awesome advice! There are many hairdressers that get away with this. Also, this rule seems to carry over into any of the professions that think they can "fix" people's perception of beauty.

[tinker bug]

I think the reason why some pictures it looks longer than others is because I had to try to bend my neck in a way that I could see the reflection of the camera display in my hand-mirror. I might be looking up (or down :rolleyes: ) more in others, so pictures probably don't show the true length of my hair, and certain angles make the ends look thinner. I took some more pictures today, as the results of my first SMT in a long long while. Hopefully they'll give you a better idea as to the condition. I also cut about 1/8 of an inch to 1/4 of an inch off today ( know its just a bit, but I'd rather do this slowly, and if it looks like this is just how my hair grows, with slightly fairy tale ends, then I'll just let it be).

The first pic is just so everyone can see the extensions (:
http://i870.photobucket.com/albums/ab266/Kelsey_Dana/progress%20pics/S7005118.jpg

http://i870.photobucket.com/albums/ab266/Kelsey_Dana/progress%20pics/S7005120.jpg

http://i870.photobucket.com/albums/ab266/Kelsey_Dana/progress%20pics/S7005121.jpg

this one is immediately following my trim:
http://i870.photobucket.com/albums/ab266/Kelsey_Dana/progress%20pics/S7005122.jpg

[JamieLeigh]

Your ends look nice and thick now after the trim, and I think it was a good move. Sometimes the tiniest bit makes for a new head of hair. :flower:

And I would RUN, not walk, in the opposite direction of that stylist. The cut and verbal abuse were free, but the rest of what she'd do would cost money....and I would NOT hand money to someone who is so rude and insulting.

I also think you and your mom should have a talk. Yes, you're 17 and living under her roof....but like another poster said, the issues that should be up for discussion are boys and cars and drugs and report cards. Not whether you trim your hair or not.

[bigmama8]

These pictures show your hair a lot clearer. I think your hair looks great after your trim. My own hair gets thinner on the ends. I've chosen to only do small trims every couple months hoping to thicken my ends eventually and gaining some length too. I think that what you've been doing is fine and your hair is very pretty.

You should have a talk with your mom about your hair. That hairdresser is only trying to use you to get more business/money.

[DarkChocolate]

Your hair looks nice after your trim:)

Your photos are also inspiring because my hair will likely look like yours once it has caught up to itself:)

It is amazing what a little tiny trim can do for your hair:)

[CaityBear]

I'd definately always avoid hair stylists like that. Nobody, not even your mom, should be able to tell you when and how much to cut your hair.

Your hair looks a lot better after that one trim. I'd say that was the best choice. It's so much easier to have freedom over your own hair. I always trim my own now. Though my mom goes a hairdresser who cuts her friend's hair whose is waist length and she knows "you shouldn't have any hair on the floor when your done". Her friend is very insistent over the smallest trim possible. It's always best to find a hairdresser who genuinely listens and understands the customers wants.

The one you went to obviously doesn't. Doesn't seem to respect you at all.

[Othala]

I just want to say that you have very pretty hair.

[renarok]

You have lovely hair. It looks very nice with your trim.

[Debra83]

Your hair looks very, very nice. Way to go!:cheese:

[Amoretti]

If it were my hair I'd take off another 2 inches to get the ends thicker and start evening it up with the sides. :flower: Having said that I think you can get away with it the way it is now. :)

[Crysta]

Get a new hair dresser, or do your own trims.
I trim myself personaly, I can't really trust anyone else with my hair, around my area alot of places are extreamly snip happy.

5" is far to much, if it's not what you want.

[Calista]

I think your hair looked good before the trim, and it looks great now. Your mother has no say over your hair. It´s part of your body. She couldn´t force you to get earrings or a tattoo, either. Yes, hair grows back, but cutting someone´s hair against their will is still considered assault.

But why on earth would your hairdresser insult your religion? :bigeyes: It has never occurred to me to discuss religion with my hairdresser.

[Crysta]

not just an assult on you but an assult on your human rights.
no-one can tell you that you 'should' do anything to your hair in that kindof way.
or anything else for that matter.