So bored with my hair!

[Pear Martini]

I have APL length, dyed espresso brown hair. The end are pretty damaged so I S&D about once a month.

I just don't feel like me with my hair like this. It sounds so superficial that I am almost embaressed to post this.

I think I look better with lighter hair than I have right now. My mom says it, a few co-workers have said it too. Actually at diffrent times diffrnt co-workers and clients freaked out when I dyed my hair darker. I could tell most of them were trying to be nice about it, and most of them are blonde. A few people have been pretty blunt and said the blonde hair brought out my face a lot better.

My boyfriend says he likes my hair better darker, but this is even darker than my natural medium brown color. My aunt also likes my hair darker.

This first pic is with my dyed blonde hair. It was yellowy, which I didn't like. I now refer to it jokingly as "skank yellow". This was taken before a night out with the girls. If you look closely you can see how fried parts of my hair were.



























The next pic is of me with my current hair color. It is a bad picture lol. I am sans makeup and in pajamas but it was only taken for me to monitor hair growth. Sorry for the sad puppy dog face.


































I have about 5 inches in virgin hair and the rest is bleached and then dyed brown.


Thanks for your time :D

ETA:
PS. My hair goal is to have hair down to my waist. The last time it was that long was when I was 5.

[melrose1985]

I'm probably not any help. I think you look good both ways. leaving your hair the way it is will help you to get to waist, but there are plenty of people who do their hair blonde here, you just need to baby and take great care of it.

ETA:
By the way... maybe try some new hair pieces like clips or sticks. YOu have a good length of hair check out the articles section they have great hair dos there.

[Yarn Muse]

I like the dark brown! I'm all for growing out your virgin color, and in that photo I can't even tell where the virgin ends and the colored part begins. I'm growing out a very faded red, and have almost reached my one-year anniversary! I love the soft feel of the virgin hair.

If you are bored with your color, have you thought of doing something natural like henna? On your dark brown, it wouldn't give you red-red hair, but only reddish highlights in the sun I believe. (ask on the henna board)

Or, you could add just a few highlights. It would be less damaging than the blonde. You have to bleach a LOT to get your dark brown all the way to blonde.

[LKayL]

I think your hair looks good in both pictures as you have a nice face; but I think that it would look best lighter than it is now, not as blonde as the first picture but maybe a caramel brown with blonde highlights.
Your hair looks in really good condition to me.

[Pear Martini]

Thanks melrose for the quick response :)

maybe I should get a few new hair toys.

I am not sure if I even can go back to a lighter shade without sacrificing most of my new growth. Hopefully someone who has been in this same predicament will chime in.

where do you get your hair toys from?

[MsBubbles]

I think the darker color suits you very well! It makes sense that those other women with highlighted hair would try to push it on you too, since that's what they have. But you're you, not them. If you're growing your hair long, it'll probably be easier without the highlights/color stripping. It's doable for some lucky people (to have highlighted AND waist+ hair), but you never know what yours is going to do until you get there, and by then it may be too late. Mine is giving up the ghost around mid-back. I am growing out my highlights though, but the old bleached ends take extra-super babying, plus monthly maintenance trims to keep straw-like ends at bay.

I think I look dead with my darker, natural hair color. However, this is not the case with you!!

PS I'm glad you posted this thread! It's very relevant and not to be embarrassed about.

[YourEggcellency]

I think it depends on what sort of look you are going for--blonde looks young, flirty, & "now". Dark hair looks more romantic & elegant to me, but it makes you look less young--not old definitely, but more timeless & serious. (Of course, some of it could be the expression on your face in those photos, haha!)

Personally I prefer the darker hair--it looks natural, more unique. But I also think it's very important for YOU to like it.

[Roseate]

TBH I'm not fond of the blonde on you. It's not terrible, but I see so many women with slightly-unflattering dyed-blonde hair... you could do better.

I like the dark; it really makes your eyes pop and the contrast with your warm skin tone is beautiful!

You would probably also look great with a slightly lighter and warmer brown; if you only went up a shade or two you shouldn't have to use very harsh developer.

[little_acorn]

I like you with the dark hair better :D

[spidermom]

I like the dark color better on you, too. I think it flatters your skin tone a lot.

[MAO]

You look very pretty both ways, but why follow what everyone else says? You should do what YOU want. Maybe you can let your hair grow out a little bit more so you can get rid of some of the damage first if you want to go lighter.......? Your hair does look a bit dry in the first picture. Your hair looks healthier in the second picture.

[Moldilocks]

I think both colors work on you.

[HildeMV]

Personally I like the dark better, maybe because I like what looks more natural better.
I had an idea to go blonde. I liked it on me, but it wasn't nice to the hair. But I'm glad because now I've tried it. :)

[rogue_psyche]

I think you look a LOT better with darker hair. Is growing out to your natural color not an option? It will be a lot easier to meet your length goals without having to trim away damage. I say this as someone growing out color as well.

[lynnala]

I like the brown much better too. The blonde looks, well, dyed. I think the brown suits you much better. Do you have a pic with your natural color for comparison?

[julliams]

I have hair about your length at the moment with some shorter pieces at the front just like you. I am also very bored with my hair as it is not long enough to do some of the great styles I have seen the super long hair gals do on this site. I think the dark brown looks very nice on you - I wouldn't worry too much about that, particularly since your boyfriend likes it.

If your goal is waist length, stick with it and you can always lighten it later if you want to - depending on your growth rate, you'll be there within a year.

Juliette

[Aditi]

I think you look good in both the colors.

[Toadstool]

Since you asked I think you look loads better with dark hair. With the blonde you look pretty but average. With the dark you look stunning!
But as you implied,what is most important is that you feel like you.
i have very dark hair and I dye it a lighter brown because I feel the dark is too harsh against my pale skin

[EvaSimone]

You look pretty with both colors but in the first picture your hair looks really damaged... that was the first thing that popped out when I looked at the picture.

If going blonde means your hair looks damaged and dry I would say don't do it. The blonde looks more trendy but the brown looks beautiful and healthy.

If you were set on dying some soft caramel highlights would look pretty.

[Kris Dove]

IMHO you look far better with darker hair in those photos, it accentuates your eyes much more and looks better with your skin tone. If you do go back to blonde I agree with the others that a darker caramel blonde, or just highlights of this, would be better with your skintone.

[hmmm]

I think your darker hair looks better on you, but you're very pretty either way. :flower:
I agree with the people who said to experiment with things to do with your hair. Hair toys are really good motivation to grow it long.

[Bonkers57]

Dark gets my vote, too :) and for the same reasons many have already said; the hair looks healthier, definitely flatters your skin tone, etc. I'm growing out color myself and look forward to the day I have all virgin hair. I might add that I just don't like "yellow" bleach blonde. (I think you named it very well! :D ) I used Shimmer Lights (both shampoo & condish) for ages to "whiten" mine.

All that said, it's ultimately down to you. What makes you feel best? Most like your true self?


I like the dark color better on you, too. I think it flatters your skin tone a lot.

[tangocurl]

I just don't feel like me with my hair like this. It sounds so superficial that I am almost embaressed to post this.

I think I look better with lighter hair than I have right now. My mom says it, a few co-workers have said it too. Actually at diffrent times diffrnt co-workers and clients freaked out when I dyed my hair darker. I could tell most of them were trying to be nice about it, and most of them are blonde. A few people have been pretty blunt and said the blonde hair brought out my face a lot better.

My boyfriend says he likes my hair better darker, but this is even darker than my natural medium brown color. My aunt also likes my hair darker.


You are very pretty, and really need to just be kinder to yourself, IMO...easier said than done, I know.

As someone who has been through every hair color I know that at least for me it was about pleasing others' standards of beauty, knowing that at the time, it was more expedient to compromise myself for their approval than it was worth the effort to look within for genuine enthusiasm for myself.

When I finally got sick of that, the hair color that I felt "best" with became obvious to me. I don't have completely virgin hair but have been "correcting" the ends over time to get there, more or less.

I wish you happiness and satisfaction in whatever color you ultimately choose!

P.S. there is something to be said for letting dye fade, putting hair up most days, and forgetting about it for a few months...Also easier said than done ;)

[pinchbeck]

If you want honesty you're going to get it! Darker hair suits your complexion and eye colour whereas the blond looks....um....fake. I am not sure if you're natural skin colour is in the first photo, but I prefer your skin colour in the second photo because it looks less baked.

Anytime you're experimenting with hair colour and want to go darker it is best to use a semi-permanent hair colour which will wash out. However, it does stain already lightened hair.

Well since your hair looks great on you now, leave it alone and let it grow!

[Clarisse]

Yet another vote for dark brown! I looks more natural.
I have seen a very few examples, where people with light-brown hair succesfully managed to go blonde, and make it look natural at the same time. However, the pee-blonde color looks a bit cheap on you (according to my opinion). Usually, bleached blonde just doesn't look good, and it damages hair a lot! I don't think blond hair is "flirty" and "sexy" and brown hair is "sofisticated" and "serious". Brunettes can be flirty and blondes can be sofisticated. I do think that natural-looking hair is best, and yellow doesn't look natural on you.

You have some very beautiful eyes, and the brown color draws attention to them. I was pressured by friends and family, to get light-blonde high lights in my medium-blonde hair 2 years ago. I have cut most of them out, and am waiting for my hair to be all-virgin again, but growing out dyed hair is a pain!

Do whatever you like the best and whatever you feel most comfortable with. If you want to dye your hair blonde, don't keep it brown because your boyfriend or because I tell you too. If you want to stay brunette, don't bleach it because your mom or co-workers tell you to. It's your hair, and you make the decisions!

[Pear Martini]

Thank you so much everyone. I think I will leave it alone for a bit longer. My natural complexion is actually very light but ever since I moved to Miami, (originally from Boston) I have turned into the biggest beach bum and I tan very quickly :p.

I remember how fed up I was with dry hair that would break off every time I ran a brush through it.

Once my hair gets healthier I am thinking of getting highlights similar to the ones Giada de Laurentis (Food Network chef) has:

http://z.about.com/d/gourmetfood/1/0/r/4/GiadaLaurentiis.jpg
http://z.about.com/d/gourmetfood/1/0/r/4/GiadaLaurentiis.jpg


http://toddzilla.files.wordpress.com/2007/08/giadaheadshot.jpg

http://toddzilla.files.wordpress.com/2007/08/giadaheadshot.jpg

The only problem is most of my damage is on that top layer of hair. I have some severly damaged bits on that top layer. Sucks :(

I also dont have any natural hair pics of me on the computer and I dont have a scanner either. Its a similar to the pics below.
http://www.hairfinder.com/celebritypictures/diane-farr-1.jpg
http://www.hairfinder.com/celebritypictures/diane-farr-1.jpg

http://www.style-hair-magazine.com/images/light-brown-on-top-and-dark-brown-on-bottom-18129.jpg

http://www.style-hair-magazine.com/images/light-brown-on-top-and-dark-brown-on-bottom-18129.jpg

[jojo]

In my honest opinion you don't have the colouring to go blonde, the dark to me doesn't even look dyed just very natural and complimentary to your dark coloring.

The dark hair also makes you look younger and kind of exotic and shows your beautiful eyes to perfection.

[Thinthondiel]

I have to admit (and I'm sorry for being blunt, but I'm just stating my opinion) that I don't really like the look of your hair in the first picture... not just on you, though - I don't really like that look on anyone. It looks a bit too "fake" for me.

I really like your dark hair, but I think you'd also look good with a lighter brown or with highlights.

ETA: Having said that, I'm aware that many people would prefer the look from the first picture over the darker, more natural look. And if you're one of those people and feel more like yourself with your hair like that, there's nothing wrong with dying your hair blonde, of course. Well, apart from the fact that it's damaging... but there are other people here on the board who bleach their hair, and I assume they have many good tips on how to keep bleached hair as healthy as possible.

[Pear Martini]

Yeah my hair in the first photo def does not look natural. I wish I could just get it back to my natural color :(

[florenonite]

I definitely prefer the brown hair on you, but then I don't like fake-blonde hair in general. The brown complements your skin and eyes.

If you want to get back to your natural colour, my advice would be to just not dye it. If you have a really horrible demarcation line, you can try lightening the dyed bit with honey or lemon juice, or using sulphate shampoos on the length (followed by plenty of conditioning, of course) and deep oilings to pull some of the colour.

[coscass]

I love the darker hair on you! You should throw in some chestnut brown highlights that'd be so pretty.

[pepperminttea]

TBH I'm not fond of the blonde on you. It's not terrible, but I see so many women with slightly-unflattering dyed-blonde hair... you could do better.

I like the dark; it really makes your eyes pop and the contrast with your warm skin tone is beautiful!

This, exactly. Also, I kind of wish I looked as good as you do without make-up.

[RocketDog]

I think your dark hair is gorgeous, and brings out your exotic features. If you do want to lighten it up, you could always do a few very small foils of a warm light brown around your face...

[Fiferstone]

I also prefer the darker color on you. My recommendation is based on how much maintenance/upkeep you're willing to go for, given that your growth goal is waist (I am at hip, inching towards tailbone, and my goal is wherever it stops). If you lighten, then you must always lighten. This means repeated damage to your new growth and a perpetual maintenance cycle to avoid the dreaded "skunk stripe" at the scalp. Are you up for that? Once my hair reached waist it was at least 10 years old. Imagine 10 years worth of cumulative lightening damage. Also, if you do change your mind about the lighter color and want to dye it back to a darker color, you might find that the lightened hair is more porous and fades more readily, so yet more coloring to maintain the desired shade. I'm there myself. I'm a two-toned head with old box dye damage on my length (starting at BSL down to my hemline). I'm now a henna-head and there's a definite difference in appearance between my non-box dyed hair (scalp to shoulder) and my old formerly box-dyed length. It's just something I think you should factor in.

[Katze]

just wanted to add that I am one of the people who has successfully grown out yellowy bleached hair (last 'highlights in July 2005) and now have my natural color. Like you, I dyed dark at first (pic with horse in profile background) but found that this dye job faded (probably from all the honey and other natural treatments) and I was left with two tone again. for about six months, my hair looked terrible - the roots just looked dirty next to the yellow orange dye and bleach. I ended up wearing a LOT of French braids. :)

Now four years later instead of that cheap looking fake blonde I have my natural color (whatever that is) and longer and healthier hair than I have ever had.

You can too but you need to be patient! :) Regular trims, SMTs, washing less, oiling, leave-ins, etc etc have all helped me immensely, but I also had to get used to the feel and texture of my natural hair, which is different from how it was when it was colored.

good luck! If you stick around and be patient, it WILL grow. :)

[Pear Martini]

I also prefer the darker color on you. My recommendation is based on how much maintenance/upkeep you're willing to go for, given that your growth goal is waist (I am at hip, inching towards tailbone, and my goal is wherever it stops). If you lighten, then you must always lighten. This means repeated damage to your new growth and a perpetual maintenance cycle to avoid the dreaded "skunk stripe" at the scalp. Are you up for that? Once my hair reached waist it was at least 10 years old. Imagine 10 years worth of cumulative lightening damage. Also, if you do change your mind about the lighter color and want to dye it back to a darker color, you might find that the lightened hair is more porous and fades more readily, so yet more coloring to maintain the desired shade. I'm there myself. I'm a two-toned head with old box dye damage on my length (starting at BSL down to my hemline). I'm now a henna-head and there's a definite difference in appearance between my non-box dyed hair (scalp to shoulder) and my old formerly box-dyed length. It's just something I think you should factor in.

Wow, thank you. Your color in your avater is very nice. You do have a point, I hated the upkeep, its definatly not worth it for me. I have been contemplating henna, since I see it coats the strands and helps seal them. That is so amazing to me :o

[Fiferstone]

Thanks Pear Martini, :) my avatar is 1 day after a henna treatment so the color looks a bit more orange than it truly is IRL.

[30isthenewblack]

I actually like the blonde colour. I think you look like Brittany Murphy in that picture but even she has dyed her hair dark. I agree with the others that the blonde colour makes your hair look damaged while the darker hair makes your hair look healthy but that could just be an optical illusion. The reality is that sometimes you have to choose your natural hair colour over dyed hair if want longer hair. This is what I did and you can see the different hair colour in my album but to be honest, I'm thrilled that I am growing it out and I wish I'd done it sooner. At the end of the day though, you need to be happy with your hair so if you want BSL length, blonde hair and that makes you happy so be it. Just enact the two week rule though and don't make any rash decisions.

ETA
Rest in peace Britanny.

[MandaMom2Three]

WOAH! You look very nice as a blond but that darker hair pic, :jawdrop: I think it looks GORGEOUS!

[florenonite]

Wow, thank you. Your color in your avater is very nice. You do have a point, I hated the upkeep, its definatly not worth it for me. I have been contemplating henna, since I see it coats the strands and helps seal them. That is so amazing to me :o

If you don't like the upkeep of conventional dyes, don't do henna. It's messy to apply and needs to stay on your head for hours. It also only dyes one colour: red-orange, so you've got to be really sure you like that colour, and more importantly that you like how it looks on you.

If you're interested in the benefits of henna, you could try cassia, though some people report it not giving the same benefits. A henna gloss mightn't show up much on your dark hair, though it would still glow red in the sun.

Henna doesn't coat the strand and seal it, though. Only 'cones seal the strand, and that's only temporary. And henna bonds with the molecules of the hair, rather than just superficially coating the strand. It's still pretty amazing, though.

[tiggens]

You are very pretty either way! The blonde is fun and trendy looking and the dark is more dramatic/classically beautiful. I have a personal bias favoring dark hair but I understand the feeling of not feeling like "you."

There are a few threads on here about natural ways to lighten up color gently. It won't get you blonde but it might help lift your color a few shades. There's honey lightening, different oils, etc. A less natural way to go may be color oops which lifts chemical color with (from what I've heard) minimal damage. Some people on this board have had luck with that.

I agree with the other poster who said to take it easy on yourself! People are always going to have their opinions. If you go blonde again there will be a new slew of people who say you looked better dark. It is fun to play around with color and style and I always think it's pretty cool when someone takes a risk and tries something new.

[Maddy25]

My vote is for the dark hair! It looks great and I find it adds a lot of shine and makes it look healthier. But I do know what you mean by not feeling like its "you". A few months abck I dyed my hair dark brown and even though everyone liked it better, I am a blonde at heart and I feel so much more myself with it back lighter. Do what YOU want, not what others like :)

[Bellona]

As everyone has said, you are very pretty blonde or brunette :)

I used to dye my hair from light to dark to light to dark constantly, and I liked the light hair the best but got sick of the damage so switched to dark hair...and then it would fade and look ugly so I'd go back to bleaching again. I have finally let my natural color grow in, and I actually think it suits me better than any of them. I'm allowing myself to highlight if I get past BSL and absolutely hate the color. Maybe just give your hair a break from dying, grow it out a bit, and see what happens ;)

[Pear Martini]

As everyone has said, you are very pretty blonde or brunette :)

I used to dye my hair from light to dark to light to dark constantly, and I liked the light hair the best but got sick of the damage so switched to dark hair...and then it would fade and look ugly so I'd go back to bleaching again. I have finally let my natural color grow in, and I actually think it suits me better than any of them. I'm allowing myself to highlight if I get past BSL and absolutely hate the color. Maybe just give your hair a break from dying, grow it out a bit, and see what happens ;)


I like this idea a lot. When was the last time you bleached/colored?