Quitting cones - support thread

[celelu]

So, I started using my new natural cone-free shampoo and conditionner (Nature's Gate “Pomegranate Sunflower“) four days ago, and these have been my four worst hair days ever.
The very upper part of my hair is kind of fine, around hear-lenght it's awfully greasy as if the oil I put there and on the lenght had not been washed, and the lenght is dry like hay, anything but supple, and won't hold in any updo.
I promised myself before that I would persevere with cone-free for at least three weeks, then see, but I'm wondering if I will have to endure three weeks of «worst hair days ever», which I feel is actually damaging...
Do you cone-free have experienced such an unpleasant weaning? Is there anything that I should/could do other than be patient ? :confused:
Thanks a lot...

[Tovah]

Maybe you need to switch to a different cone free shampoo and conditioner. I didn't have those problems when I stopped, but then again my hair had become crackly from cones. Hang in there.

[Moldilocks]

That doesn't sound right. I would try different cone free shampoo and conditioner. Good luck to you, and I'm sure someone will come along with better advice than what I've given. :O)

[lapushka]

Hmmm, how odd & interesting. I have just about the same thing the other way round, when switching to cones my hair gets greasy looking and feels almost like synthetic hair. But this is a no-cone support thread.

Maybe it'll help if you wash the cones out with a strong sl(e)s shampoo first; clarify really well before using the more natural products.

[celelu]

What's a sl(e)s shampoo, lapushka?

[MsBubbles]

Celelu...I could have started such a thread four weeks ago! I went back to cones :o. But really, :cheese:. I'm sorry I don't have a success story for you. Other people will, I'm sure.

But what a nightmare it was!! I have tried quitting cones countless times, and get the same results each time. Chronic and extreme tangles that don't ever detangle, more damage from those tangles, 'sticky' hair, and forget about combing out after a wash. I ended up having to dump ungodly amounts of various oils onto my hair to declumpify it, otherwise the ends just bunched up like cotton-candy. And then I was left with stringy rats' tails.

Ever since I was about 13 I have known that I need to use a particular kind of conditioner. One that feels a certain way between my fingers when testing it in the store before buying a new kind. I now know these must have been the ones with cones in them!!

I have tried using non-cone conditioners since finding LHC, and it's always the same no matter how many $$ I plunk down to try them out.

I'm still growing out highlight damage on the ends, so this might have something to do with it, but I didn't have highlights when I was 13, and my virgin hair further up behaves the same way.

I lasted a month before deciding that was enough - I went back to the cones because my crappy hair was really stressing me out. You may have success trying out new, non-cone things in a more methodical way than I did. I just wasn't willing to risk ruining my hair completely until I finally found out what worked.

[Kris Dove]

My hair is happy either way with or without cones, but I agree that clarifying before going on to the no- cone routine might help, as might oiling or using a leave-in conitioner.

[lapushka]

What's a sl(e)s shampoo, lapushka?

Shampoo that contains sodium lauryl/laureth sulfate. It's best to use a shampoo like that if you want to get the cones out and get rid of build-up before starting a new routine.

Don't know if the Nature's Gate shampoo is a sl(e)s one or not, I am not familiar with the brand, but I know there's a list of products on this forum.

[chrissy-b]

I went through this when I first stopped using cones, but now I am happily cone-free.

First thing I did was clarify to remove all cone buildup followed by a heavy conditioner. Then I COed with VO5 every time I washed for almost two weeks and followed each wash with a leave-in (coconut oil really helped me). Yes, my hair was flat and lank for those two weeks, but it helped in the long run to moisturize the ends and keep it mostly tangle-free.

We have very similar hair types and the only Nature's Gate conditioner that works for me is the Hemp. The pomegranate is not moisturizing enough for me - sounds like it's not for you either.

If you're going the all natural route I would use Nature's Gate Hemp, AO honeysuckle rose (<--- This one is the BEST!). If you just want to be cone free the other two I love are Garnier Fructis Triple Nutrition (this is cheap too!) and Biolage Conditioning Balm (<-- my all-time favorite). Sally's and Wallgreen's make knock offs of the conditioning balm for much cheaper and they work just as good.

Hope that helps!

[celelu]

Thanks a lot everyone... Today I'll have an ACV, which helped a lot when I had similar dry ends issues with a wrong use of oils. Then, I guess I'll have to go back at the store. Well! It'll just make me happier when I find the right thing for me!
Nature's Gate contains Sodium Laureth Sulfate as the second ingredient after water.
:rolleyes:... As we say here, Lâchons pas la patate! Which means, Let's not drop the potato!

[halo_tightens]

Definitely-- GOTTA clarify really well when going off cones!!

I tried going cone-free a few times before, and it never worked because of the remaining coney buildup. It makes a HUGE difference when it's gone and the moisture can truly penetrate to where it's needed.

Try clarifying really thoroughly, and then soaking in a nice SMT! That should give things a wonderful kickstart in the right direction. :)

[Honey39]

The only reason I'm cone-free is because of my hair type - I have coarse curly hair, and it really benefits from NO shampoo at all. Because I CO-wash daily, I don't want to get build-up that I have to shampoo, so I use cone-free conditioner.

That said, if I didn't mind shampoo, I wouldn't mind cones. I would say there is no real trend any more here on LHC for going cone-free; people with incredibly beautiful hair use cones, as well as not.

Anyway, I do find a cone-free conditioner is NOT enough on its own to moisturise my hair. I CO-wash my hair with a cheap conditioner, and it's great. But I do have to use a good quality leave-in conditioner and coconut oil on the top to give me slip etc. Maybe it's worth experimenting with that, if you have them in the house?

[amoulixes]

Anyway, I do find a cone-free conditioner is NOT enough on its own to moisturise my hair. I CO-wash my hair with a cheap conditioner, and it's great. But I do have to use a good quality leave-in conditioner and coconut oil on the top to give me slip etc. Maybe it's worth experimenting with that, if you have them in the house?

Similar to this, but I just add jojoba oil to my Nature's Gate. Works great! :)

[MsBubbles]

Definitely-- GOTTA clarify really well when going off cones!!

I tried going cone-free a few times before, and it never worked because of the remaining coney buildup. It makes a HUGE difference when it's gone

And how long does that take :-( ? What's a normal amount of time to give it?

[Ash]

Back when I started going cone free I would alternate between the salon shampoos and the natural ones. After I found this forum and was growing my hair out I decided to switch completely. For about a year I would use a chemical shampoo once every couple of months or so but now I do not.
I never found Natures Gate to work very well for me. The shampoos didn't seem to clean well and the conditioners did nothing. Giovanni products work well in my hair and Kiss My Face is another good one. I never had to clarify before switching but it seems to have helped many people here, it is probably worth trying.

[celelu]

Ok, for me, first attempt at going cone-free: FAIL. I'm heading back to the grocery to get some of my good old silly-cone condish.
But it was first, but not last attempt! Thanks to your advice, I'll give it a *much* better and informed try next week, when I'll have time to really do everything that must be done. So, I'll be back soon! :)

[JamieLeigh]

I've been a cone-free, conditioner-only user for nearly a year now, and I'm loving it. I didn't really love it right at first, and my hair seemed really greasy. And I did clarify first, which means that it would probably have been enough to put me off of it completely if I hadn't known to do that. But after a couple of weeks my scalp started to adjust to the lack of shampoo on there, and stopped producing so much sebum to try to balance out the moisture. (smart thing, that scalp!)

It's really easy to give up on something that doesn't work immediately, but it really is a scientific process, and you have to give it some time. ANYTIME you change products, your scalp has to do the math and catch up. And that's whether you shampoo or not.

When you go cone-free, definitely keep up the oiling, so that your ends won't miss any of the moisture from cones. (and with cones, it's not so much that you're getting MORE moisture, it's just that the silicone traps it in a bit better - so you feel moisturized for a longer period of time)

Everything to do with hair-care is trial and error. And it can be a tough choice sometimes - do you want to stick with what you know is safe and works fairly well, even though you're not 100% happy with it, and avoid potentially doing more damage to your hair with a product that doesn't do well? Or are you willing to take the plunge on the chance that you'll find the magical product that absolutely takes your breath away? It's tough! :p lol

[chrissy-b]

I went through this when I first stopped using cones, but now I am happily cone-free.

I totally have to take this back.

I wore my hair down the other night for about three hours and I ended up with four big dreadlock knots from the base of my neck to the ends. :(

It was the first time I've worn my hair down when I went out in over a year and the same thing happened the last time too.

So...I went and bought a coney leave-in and conditioner. It helped. I've been cone-free for the last two years and it has worked great but I think I may have to use cones from time to time if I ever want to wear my hair down.

I feel so bad for speaking too soon but I thought after two years I'd never need cones again. I was wrong. Maybe once all the dye damage is gone but for now, cones are helping my ends.

[Pear Martini]

I totally have to take this back.

I wore my hair down the other night for about three hours and I ended up with four big dreadlock knots from the base of my neck to the ends. :(

It was the first time I've worn my hair down when I went out in over a year and the same thing happened the last time too.

So...I went and bought a coney leave-in and conditioner. It helped. I've been cone-free for the last two years and it has worked great but I think I may have to use cones from time to time if I ever want to wear my hair down.

I feel so bad for speaking too soon but I thought after two years I'd never need cones again. I was wrong. Maybe once all the dye damage is gone but for now, cones are helping my ends.


This surprises me. I have a lot of dye damage but ever since I started my new, cone-free routine my hair has been renewed.

I guess everyone is diffrent but the change in my hair has been so drastic, its unbelievable to me.

My old routine was cone-shampoo and condish 3 times a week (salon brand). Deep cone treatment in the shower about once a week.

My hair was breaking off when I would brush it I would layer my own hair. Huge pieces by my face look like someone could have lit a match to them.

My new routine has been CO washing and coconut oiling overnight once or twice a week. The downside to this is that if you live with your husband/boyfriend, it might kill the mood lol.

My hair doesnt break off the way it used to, and the long friend parts are suddenly gone. I have noticed that those areas that used to look fried are the ones that need the most frequent S&Ding.

Anyways, just my 2 cents.

[chrissy-b]

This surprises me. I have a lot of dye damage but ever since I started my new, cone-free routine my hair has been renewed.

It surprises me too! It wasn't until I neared BSL did my hair start acting badly. Before that, my hair was doing great! My hair desperately needs a trim but I'm trying to hold out until Jan (which was the last time I trimmed).

My hair is very fine, though, and it tangles so easily. A little bit of cones just on the ends (after a good soak in cone-free conditioner) has really helped. I still love my oils, and I'll never stop using my favorite cone-free conditioners but until I get rid of the damage, cones are my new/old friend again.

I don't know how supportive I'm being about going cone-free since I've had to go back to them, but I do think that my cone-free routine was the best thing I did for my hair at the time - I just need a little help from the cones for the time being. :o

[MsBubbles]

It's really easy to give up on something that doesn't work immediately, but it really is a scientific process, and you have to give it some time. ANYTIME you change products, your scalp has to do the math and catch up. And that's whether you shampoo or not.

My scalp must be really bad at math. It never adjusted to less washes, no matter if I used organic, SLS, whatever shampoo.

What is a reasonable length of time for one's hair to adjust to no cones? I gave it a month, and really the whole time my hair was like Jeff Daniels (http://www.filmdope.com/Gallery/ActorsD/4155-5456.gif)' in Dumb & Dumber. It was fine if I wore it up, but I don't have long hair to wear it up all the time. I gave up after a month. I'm sure there must be some other non-cone product out there that might work, but how long should I walk around looking like half of Dumb & Dumber? I felt I was sustaining damage with all the knots, matts and tangles.

[Wicked Princess]

I think all of the responses in this thread so far have emphasized that everyone's hair is unique and reacts well or poorly to different things. :) Don't be afraid of trial and error! And be prepared for "waiting periods" while you're experimenting with new routines.

I ended up switching to no 'cones about three months ago when my favorite conditioner stopped being available at local stores (I could still find it online but...I'm lazy!). I needed new things anyway, so I figured, "Hey...why not try 'cone free?!"

Going 'cone free didn't change my hair. At all. Not better, not worse. I got more of a response just switching between different scented conditioners of the same brand than I did going from 'cones to no 'cones. It was actually a little disappointing...I was hoping to learn something about how my hair reacted to 'cones!

When I did this, though, I think I might have lucked out and found a really nice, rich, thick conditioner (without 'cones) on my first try. My hair is prone to dryness, so finding the "right" conditioner is the single most important thing I can do for my hair.

After you've clarified (as others have suggested...I've come to trust the LHC people :D) have you considered trying a SMT? It may help with some of the dryness on your length.

[melikai]

I can understand when some people who use products with silicones to help prevent tangling - especially with old dyed ends. But I don't think that they impart any conditioning or give any moisture - they just create a plastic seal around the hair shaft which helps the strands "glide" across each other more easily.

To be honest, my hair since going 'cone-free about a year and a few months ago, has been somewhat more tangly on the ends too. I have to really work to make sure these old dyed bits stay moisturised. But I just can't stand the feeling of silicones anymore, and I hate the ecological aspect to them too, so I'll just keep going 'cone free and putting up with tangles, until I've trimmed off all the bleach.

My overall point is, I think that silicones and dyed hair are meant to be a package-deal, to help maintain altered hair, which is often "problem" hair, due to damage. I think all-natural hair doesn't generally require them in order to appear in good condition.

[JamieLeigh]

My overall point is, I think that silicones and dyed hair are meant to be a package-deal, to help maintain altered hair, which is often "problem" hair, due to damage. I think all-natural hair doesn't generally require them in order to appear in good condition.

Maybe this is why I sing the praises of no-cones and easy adjustment periods, while others struggle and give up. I have no heat or dye damaged hair, it's a bit longer than 45" (by LHC measurement standards) and completely virgin. So maybe this is why I've had such a lucky spin by going no-cone. My own hair is happier than it's ever been, and it's much more versatile than it ever was before. It holds a curl or a wave better, and isn't too slippery for buns and braids. It's soft and shiny, and virtually weightless. I have no tangles. EVER. Not even in the morning, and I sleep with my hair loose. :cheese:

In other words, I really have no reason to go back to cones and expensive brands. But this is my experience, and maybe like melikai said, it has to do with having virgin hair.

[klcqtee]

I'll be switching to no cone next time I wish, so you and I can gripe about the transition time together! I hope your new conditioner is better!

[RavennaNight]

:waving:

I am the nutjob who went from one extreme to the next.

I went conefree a year ago and hated it. Frizzy, tangly, ugly hair, unless it was up all the time. I love hair down, so I went back, full speed. I went to Pantene and Herbal Essences and they worked great. I still say they aren't the evil everyone claims they are. The only thing that stopped me again, for now, is the SLS needed to remove them, and the frequent washing. I use hennindigo to dye my hair black. My roots would fade after 2 weeks to a reddish brown and then the lighter roots were also growing in. And that annoyed me.

So I am coneless again, and I really must say:

1. Just like all coney stuff isn't created equally great, neither is the cone-free stuff. The Garnier Fructis everyone is raving about? For my hair the VO5 is better. And I LOVE the Nature's Gate Hemp. But everyone's hair is different. Mine hates honey. Maybe yours hates aloe. Who knows, you try them out.

2. I find I feel the need to wash my hair less. My scalp would feel dirty sooner when I used cones. I was washing with SLS every 2 days. Even if it's just scalp washing, if you alter your hair color, there go those roots!

3. If you can't wear your hair down when you are cone free, you might be doing something wrong, like maybe the products aren't the right ones. I still can wear my hair down when I want to with no issues, at hip length. Will this change as it gets longer? Who knows. I haven't been there so I can't tell you.

4. Aside from the color fading from the excessive washing with SLS, I enjoyed cones. They smell pwetty:D