sensing trouble up ahead

[juliaxena]

It has been 2 months and almost 3 weeks since I cut my hair. My ends are in good shape, I have no splits, breakage and they are not dry. BUT they are getting uneven, because my hair tends to grow by different rates on different parts of my hair. This is very visible on my undyed roots, so there is no mistake. My problem is I hate uneven looking ends. I'm a sucker for blunt cuts. I think I will want a trim in about a month. But where on earth will I find a stylist that will take no more than 1/4 of an inch off? I can't let it grow wild and I don't want to be losing all my growth. Oh boy. This never used to be a problem when my hair was short. I think 4 months is probably the most you can wait between trims to honestly have no splits and have my hair even. I could be wrong. What would you do in my shoes? Find a stylist that will swear by their mother they won't cut more than I say? Bury my head in the sand? Am I making any sence at all?

[Kris Dove]

If it's annoying you, and it's too short to do yourself as yet, then finding a trustworthy stylist is probably your best bet. Tell the stylist you are growing out your hair and ask them to show you exactly how much they are going to take off before they start cutting to prevent them being too scissor-happy!

[Leena7]

I would say try to wait as long as possible before your trim, but when you feel like you need to have one, be very firm with the stylist and explain your long term hair goals to him or her. Do not tell the stylist, "take off 1/4 of an inch," and expect the stylist to get the message. Physically show how much you want off. Point to where or something of that nature and make sure that the stylist understands. The do tend to be scissor happy.

[juliaxena]

Is it at all possible for a stylist to take just 1/4 of an inch off?

[halo_tightens]

It's absolutely possible! Heck, they could take less than that if they wanted.

It's mainly just a matter of making sure they WILL take off only what you want. Some of them do tend to be pretty scissor-happy.

[georgia_peach]

I have used a barber shop in the past. A true barber, not a stylist. They usually cut men's and boy's hair, but many will trim women's hair as well. They are not typically in the business of fancy cuts, color, perms, etc... that women look for. So I found them to be more trust worthy in just taking off the bare minimum needed to even up my ends. Good luck!

[Isilme]

Honestly, if you trim every 4th month you are going to gain length very slowly. Put your hair up and ignore the uneven ends. If you can't do that self trim and if it's too short wait until you can:)

[georgia_peach]

Oh, and barbers are usually way less expensive than a stylist, too. (Bonus!)

[juliaxena]

If I trim just a little I will still get some growth I'm sure. I will have to be firm I guess. Barber...that sounds like a good idea but I'm not sure where to find one. I think fancy stylists totally threw them out of competition here.

[redwoman]

They most certainly can only take 1/4 inch! I just go to the walmart styling shop take piece of my hair and physically show them, then I ask them to show me before they cut. I've not had a problem since adopting this method. Good luck!

[juliaxena]

Physically showing them. I like that-thanks!

[Clarisse]

I would wait for my hair to be logn enough to do Feye's selftrim. Hair shorter than that is usually healthy, as it is very young. Make some cute updo's and wait it out :D

[Bellalalala]

I think you need to decide between getting to a goal quicker or loving the hair you have in the meantime.

If you are very patient-which makes you an unusual creature here- then take your time, get regular blunt trims, and enjoy loving your hemline exactly the way you want it.

Your progress will be much slower, but you will have the joy of loving your hair the whole time, and always having nice, fresh ends.

I could never do that because my hair looks stupid between chin length and APL.

If you can enjoy your hair in all of it's transitional lengths, then you are one incredibly lucky woman!!!
Do what makes you happy, and in the end, if the trims are slowing you down too much, you can always stop trimming.

A barber shop is a great idea. They will have no intention of layering, over cutting, etc. They never get fancy, so if you're clear and physically show them what you want, you should be fine.

Only you know what's right for you.
If it were me, I would just grow it out, but that's me, not you. We all have different priorities and pet peeves. I couldn't care less about my hemline!

BTW, your hair is gorgeous. I love the colour.

[spidermom]

If it were me, I'd find a stylist and tell him or her to only snip back the very longest bits to the level of the rest of my growth. I would also explain my goal (top of thighs) and say that I need somebody who will keep my ends neat on a regular basis. (because that's what I did, and I'm happy)

[pinkbunny]

You can always ask for references as well - any respectable, established, experienced stylist should have a few...

[sedonia]

If the difference in length between your uneven ends exceeds 1/4", then even if you find someone who will trim 1/4", such a trim will not produce a perfectly blunt cut.

I would suck it up and let it grow without trimming for a longer period of time (but not long enough to let split ends accrue too much). Maybe use scrunching and some products, maybe a diffuser on a barely warm setting, and experiment with some tousled looks instead of the every-hair-in-place sleek bob. (I wore my hair in a bob for years when I was younger and it really does require precision trims every 4-6 weeks.)

[rogue_psyche]

I know of several members here who joined years before me with the same goal as me. A lot of them are somewhere between shoulder and APL, while I'm closing in on waist. My hair doesn't grow much faster than average--I just made it my goal not to cut until I reached my goal length. I should have it by the end of the month. :D What this really means that while I have had fairytales developing for these seven months I've been growing, which may look unkempt to some, in a matter of months I'll be blunt AND at my goal length.

So I agree with those who think you should wait until you can self trim. The chances of you finding a trustworthy stylist are pretty slim, unless you live near Spidermom. :p

[SpinDance]

I don't think I live near Spidermom, but I'm going to get a trim tomorrow morning. Want just a 1/4 inch taken off, and maybe a touch of rounding instead of completely blunt. It isn't split, I just want to thicken up the hem a little as it continues to grow. Thanks for the suggestions about physically showing. My stylist did a good job last time, about 6 months ago, but then I didn't much care if it was a bit more. This time I do!

[Madame J]

I wanted to repeat the suggestion of a barber -- they're generally cheaper, and they really listen when you tell them how much you want taken off. And they don't generally even wash my hair first, let alone blow-dry. If you don't know of one in your area, ask a few men you know where they get their hair cut -- chances are at least one of them goes to a plain old barber.

Also, you will gain length more slowly if you keep trimming every 4 months, but I found once I got to about shoulder-length, my hair didn't look as shaggy as it grew anymore and was a lot more forgiving of going longer between trims. It's been since May for me now, and my ends aren't bad.

[jivete]

I honestly think this is one of the reasons my hair was always short. I didn't realize my hair grew at different rates and couldn't stand the not so blunt hem after 3 months and would go in and get it trimmed. In spite of trying to communicate 1/4", the stylists always took off too much. It wasn't until I found this place and decided to ignore my hem that my hair grew to APL and now beyond.

If you are able to get a stylist to trim the tiniest amount than great, but if they take off too much, I would put up with the hem until it's long enough to trim yourself and then maintain your hem with self-trims from there.

[ericthegreat]

There are in fact hairstylists out there who are very accurate in their haircutting abilities. They are hard to find, but they do exist. If you have any long haired friends or neighbors or whoever, ask them where they get their hair done. Once you get to the salon that you are recommended to, emphatically express to the stylist cutting your hair that you intend to grow your hair out. You are only looking to get no more than a 1/4 inch taken off. Make sure that he or she sees eye to eye with you. Any good stylist worth his or her salt will treat a new client even more carefully, and they will really try to give you exactly what you want.

[GlassEyes]

Yeah, I agree with Islime. You're probably better off finding a stylist you can trust.

[Honestwitness]

My hair is APL now, but when it was your length (in your beautiful signature pic), I was like you and wanted a blunt hemline as I grew out. But, I'm a self-trimmer from way back, so I kept my hemline trimmed the way I wanted it for no cost at all.

I used (and still use) a pair of thinning scissors. I have a bathroom mirror that is in three sections and each section is mounted on a cabinet door, so they are adjustable, as far as angles.

I hold a hand mirror so I can see the back of my head after each few snips of the scissors and I only do tiny micro-trims at a time. If, after snipping and checking in the mirrors, there is still unevenness, I snip a little more.

The thinning scissors only take off the tiniest amount at a time, which keeps me from being sorry later. It takes a while, but it's worth it to me. I can't stand letting someone else cut my hair while I'm sitting there without being in control.

Now that my hair is APL, it's much easier to trim, because now I'm using Feye's self-trim method, which is all done from the front. Plus, I'm doing a lot less trimming now so that it will continue to get longer. I do still have parts that grow faster than the rest, so those are the parts I end up trimming most often, in order to keep my mostly blunt hemline.

By the way, for my bangs, I don't want a blunt hemline, so I also use the thinning scissors to cut them. I will snip up into the bangs while holding the scissors almost perpendicular to the hemline of the bangs and snip every 3/4 inch or so, in order to make the ends look wispy. I have often thought this would work on the length for those who wanbt to deliberately cut fairy-tale ends.
One could snip up at a steep angle into the hemline as far as one to two inches deep, every two inches or so, to achieve a simulated fairy-tale look. I won't be trying that on my length, though, because I need all the bulk I can get on my hemline, since I have such fine hair.

[heidi w.]

This thread really should be named How To Find A Stylist You Can Trust, which is why I re-named my post here.

The following suggestions may prove helpful.

First, will a stylist trim 1/4 inch. Yes.

Steps for finding a quality stylist:
1. Interview first. Have a consultation.
Go about finding your stylist between now and the next month, or whenever. Go when they have time and the salon isn't overly busy. You call or walk in and see if someone can make an appointment to speak to you. All you need is perhaps 10-15 minutes.

In the course of the conversation, even IF they assure you they'll pay attention to not cutting too much off, you can pick up on a feeling of what they're about.

Also take time to look around the place. Is it swept. Are stylists trying to work on 3 customers at a time, in different phases of styling? If it's unclean and too many stylists are handling multiple customers at a time, this is a sign.

2. Never go interviewing with friends. Never sit in a chair of any salon impulsively with friends. Friends can sometimes undo your best intentions when you're swept up in the excitement of the moment, or they're in the chair next to you saying, "Oh, c'mon Carolyn, just cut it!" Avoid any situation where you COULD be pressured.

3. In the interview ask if you can come in and de-tangle your own hair. You'll appreciate this the longer in length you become. Ask if you can bring in your own detangling tools. Ask that you can wash your own hair at home and come in with freshly washed and dried hair. These tips are for those who have longer tresses. Most dressers, even with great intentions to take off the barest minimum, truly don't want to detangle my length. Most simply don't know how!

4. In the interview, ask if they have or have had any long haired clients. IF they respond yes, ask how long was the longest? Also ask if they ever had long hair themselves, what length, and did they like it or not? These answers tell you a lot. Watch body language, intonation, feeling tone. They may sometimes not be entirely truthful in some situations if they're (a) scissor happy or more likely (b) not that experienced because they want the client for the $. But if you pay attention, you'll get the feeling of how they feel.

Also in the interview explain how important growing your length is to you. Make it eminently clear, and ask specifics, such as, if I want 1/4 inch trim, will you give me only 1/4 inch? And warn them if you plan to bring in a tape measure or a mirror. They should know what to expect of you, too.

Be pleasant as you can. Yet it's ok to explain your concern of not having so much taken off and your goals.

5. Day of:
bring a hand mirror to watch
wear a striped shirt or top, horizontal, to help give guidelines
bring a measuring tape, a flexible one, as is used in sewing.

Mirror is to watch what's going on behind your head. Have them turn the chair, so you can watch in the large mirror.

Horizontal striped shirt will help give a line of demarcation. (ETA: Not my idea originally, someone else posited it and I always remembered it as a great idea. Maybe PurpleBubba???)

Measuring tape is for measuring before and after. Don't skip the before. It keeps people really honest! To measure properly, position the edge of the beginning of the tape measure at the forehead hairline, at the center of the forehead, and go over the top of the head and down the back for your total measurement of inches of length.

6. Never ask for a vague trim. NEVER. This is the wrong phrase and language. Even though this is somewhat changing, there are some stylists who when they hear the term, 'trim', interpret that to mean cut where the stylist (not you) perceive or believe splits to begin. This is one way that some people come out with too much removed.

Instead, be specific about the measurement you want taken off.

And do not rely on people's fingers of the thumb and forefinger to be an accurate guide of say, 1/2 inch, or 1/4 inch or 1 inch or 2 inches. You'd be surprised how many people can't show a distance in their fingers of inches that is accurate. Use the tape measure. It's a fact.

7. Consider the option of bringing a trustworthy friend with you to watch the cut be performed so that if something is going awry they will and have no issues with piping up. IF you must, leave if something is awry the day of the appointment.

8 If you arrive and your chosen stylist is absent for any reason, and can't perform the task that day, DO NOT SIT IN ANOTHER STYLIST'S CHAIR. This is another common problem, a person likes their 'usual' stylist and believes all the stylists in the salon are therefore trustworthy. Even IF you are familiar with other stylists from previous visits. DO NOT TAKE A SEAT. Instead, thank them for the offer and RESCHEDULE the appointment for when your stylist will be in.

ETA: I neglected to also mention that in some salons there are competitions going on amongst the stylists, or petty cliques. Stealing clients goes on somewhat, even if it's frowned upon generally. Don't fall prey to this. The house will always get their cut, but you took a lot of time to interview, and eventually, build that solid rapport with YOUR stylist, so keep it that way. Keep the tip for your stylist. You have an understanding with YOUR stylist, and it's not transferable. (I followed my stylist wherever he went for 20 good solid years. Even if that meant a drive a fair distance, sometimes. That's how worthy he was, and even if he was doing my hair on the weekend at home, I still paid him well, and tipped him too -- well.) I have a friend who was a good and up&coming stylist and the other stylists decided to undo his clients (long story) and they would regularly encourage his clients, on an off day, to sit in their chair and then whack their hair so they'd never come back. Quite vicious. Most stylists are not interested in such games, but all it takes is one.

9. Tip well. IN CASH. To develop a rapport with a stylist tipping quite well is important. And don't grudge paying the money. For example, I've had many times I've gone for a trim but never had a wash and all that business, yet they still charge me $10, $15, $25, even. Why? Because it's time. If they're just standing there waiting while I detangle all this for them, it's their time. I have no problem handing over the $25 plus a hefty tip in cash. ETA: Mention in the interview, if it seems to be going well, that your hair matters to you so much that you tip well for trimming the measurement you request. That's encouraging to them. And then be sure it's well. Personally, I never leave less than $10 tip, even if that was the price of the service alone.

10. Consider an older person, a person who's had years of experience and is all done with proving how great they are with color, and style, and has no reputation to establish anymore. The reputation is established and they understand more that hair cutting is more about you, not them and their agenda or emotional needs. Younger people new to the business tend to be busy establishing their reputation and skill set and more likely to have concerns around that. I have had great stylists in my time, usually though they were VERY experienced, having been in the business for easily 20 years. They were happy to take my money.

12. Know that if you let them detangle or they find a need to during the process that when hair is long, and especially at my length, it's virtually impossible to get through hair without at least one little tug, even if the stylist is doing their level best to be gentle. OH! and if you're a 'tender head' -- tell them in the interview, and remind them again on the appointment day.

13. A quality dresser may even start a 3X5 card on you. They might consider noting your goal of acquired length, note the length you're beginning with, the date of the trim and how much removed, if a wash was performed, that kind of thing. Quality stylists usually do keep a file on their established clients. Often this is the domain of those who do coloring and perming, but even if you're 'just a trim' client, if you intend to be a client, then it's wise of them to notate these details. If they don't, you certainly can!

14. Remember, the best way to get to acquired length is not cutting. SO if a stylist starts talking to you about how trimming length helps encourage hair to grow faster or some such blather, know that I have tested this theory many times and never once found it to bear truth. Hair grows because of genetics and hormones. It goes through a cycle of phases. We can go through spurts. Hair grows because of the alive hair follicle under the scalp skin, fed by blood. Nutrition matters. Overall health matters. So if they tell you come in 6-8-10 weeks from now for your next trim, don't buy it. Not necessary. This is important, as well, to establish in the interview, that you intend to be a client yet an intermittent one. That's another reason for greasing the palm a bit, so they won't think, well forget it, I only get $2 off of this one, so it's not worth my half hour of time.

Interview as many as you need til you find someone comfortable.

ETA: Came in to add one small thing and my text characters are over the limit, so I'm breaking up the post to be over 2 posts.
CONTINUED BELOW
heidi w.

[heidi w.]

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OTHER OPTIONS
There are directions somewhere on this site for self-trimming.

Maybe there's a family member (or friend) in your midst that is pro-growth/length for you and is careful and detailed and you trust and would give you a fabulous small trim for no money, or a little mad money, or a nice lunch out somewhere. ETA: Believe it or not, a lot of times your BF or mate might be just fine for the task. (This is for anyone with a mate.)

There are long hair salons in some locales. There's a George Michael/Madora salon in Manhattan, NY; a GM salon Rapunzel in Ohio; a GM salon in Beverly Hills CA, and there's a long hair salon in Canada.

One of the best trims I ever received, surprisingly, was at a little strip mall Supercuts. For my length, I stand. I hope someday to make a good stool for standing on because I hate to have someone lay on the floor in a professional setting. My friend trimmed my hair about a month ago and had to lay on the floor. The very best trim of my hair that I ever received was from the NY Madora (GM) salon. That was such an experience--a truly great experience to be there.

I was very fortunate to have a wonderful hair guru who was also my best friend. He is now deceased. He was well-known in the industry and he taught me just about everything I know about hair.

The last professional stylist I sought was an older woman and she was most gracious with me. I even ended up teaching her a few tricks, and she was surprised to learn that trimming hair doesn't help it grow faster. We did that test over a period of 2 years!

My best,
heidi w.

[heidi w.]

There are in fact hairstylists out there who are very accurate in their haircutting abilities. They are hard to find, but they do exist. If you have any long haired friends or neighbors or whoever, ask them where they get their hair done. Once you get to the salon that you are recommended to, emphatically express to the stylist cutting your hair that you intend to grow your hair out. You are only looking to get no more than a 1/4 inch taken off. Make sure that he or she sees eye to eye with you. Any good stylist worth his or her salt will treat a new client even more carefully, and they will really try to give you exactly what you want.

CORRECT.

heidi w.

[Tressie]

I agree with those who've posted that you must show the stylist how much you want trimmed and then get them to show you how much they are going to cut, before you let them lift the scissors!

Be firm and clear, and you should be all right! That said, I think I would try to let it grow out and then address the ends. You can always adjust the hem later if it look a bit uneven to you.

However, do whatever makes YOU happy! That's the most important thing~ :D

[Autumnberry]

There are stylists out there who will take 1/4 inch off. I recommend a children's salon. They tend not to pressure but instead listen. It works for me :D.