No progress and needing a trim....again

[Periwinkle]

When I joined LHC, I had layers in my hair. I hated them and spent a long time trimming to get rid of them. There's still a little bit left, but they're pretty much gone. I intended to cut only half my growth each month, but it turns out I suck at self trimming, so from November 08-Jan 09 I was maintaining at BSL-ish.

I had my hair trimmed in March because self-trimming had left me with uneven ends.

At the end of May, my ends were absolutely unbearable - I could hardly even get a comb through. I ended up having about 3/4" cut off and it really improved things.

Now it's November, and though my ends aren't as bad as they were before, they really need a trim.

You can see my length in January in my sig pic - bottom of my bra strap. Now, on a good day, my hair is just barely brushing the top of waist. BSL is quite low on me so that's only about 2", and if I get my hair trimmed, that'll be about a 1" gain for the year when I've been growing my hair the whole time.

It sounds like I should be protecting my ends more but I honestly can't think of anything else I can do. The only thing I do which could damage them is wearing an elastic at the end of my braid almost every day, but I don't really have an alternative to that - I can't wear hairsticks to school and the only other style I can do is a sort of strange bun which still involves an elastic.

BSL and BSL+ are awful lengths for me - my hair is insanely thick and it's far too short for most 'long' styles but it's also too long for styles for shorter hair. If I can't get my hair to grow past this length, I'll cut it off - staying at this length is not an option though it seems there's simply nothing I can do about it.

I've posted about this before (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=26395) and I'm still saying the exact same things now, even after trying all the advice I was given :( Is there no end in sight?

[Heidi_234]

First of all, you might like to invest in a ficcare (or get one from the swap boards), if you think damage is the problem, you'd be able to use it instead of hairsticks. Or Flexi-8, the really big ones are enough to hold buns (check out the thread about it, they are not as pricey as a ficcare can be!).

I feel your pain, I've been BSL for way too long and I loath this length on me. I think you should just bear with the ends and let it grow out without trimming. You can always maintain at more comfortable length later. I know fried ends are pretty much impossible to deal with, I have very awful ends too, but I try to stick it out, get to my goal length and maintain there. In the meantime, coconut oil and shea butter are my friends.

HTH :flower:

[spidermom]

One thing you could try to protect your ends a bit more is wrap about a 2-inch strip of wet, silky ribbon around the end of your braid before you put an elastic on; it keeps the elastic from cutting into your hair. Also cultivate a cooperative stylist who will only trim a bit off your ends every 3-4 months - 1/2 inch or less. Have you spent time in the articles trying out styles? There might be something there that you haven't thought of yet.

I was being driven insane by tangles and knots a few months back and have found that topping off my leave-in conditioner and oil with a coney serum about once a week makes my hair MUCH easier to live with.

Good luck. You have really beautiful hair.

[Periwinkle]

First of all, you might like to invest in a ficcare (or get one from the swap boards), if you think damage is the problem, you'd be able to use it instead of hairsticks. Or Flexi-8, the really big ones are enough to hold buns (check out the thread about it, they are not as pricey as a ficcare can be!).

I feel your pain, I've been BSL for way too long and I loath this length on me. I think you should just bear with the ends and let it grow out without trimming. You can always maintain at more comfortable length later. I know fried ends are pretty much impossible to deal with, I have very awful ends too, but I try to stick it out, get to my goal length and maintain there. In the meantime, coconut oil and shea butter are my friends.

HTH :flower:

There's no way I'd wear anything as expensive as a ficcare or a flexi-8 (even secondhand) to school. My school was built for 120 pupils and there are now 1300 - obviously, the site has expanded, but you can imagine what our corridors are like - I've had pinned buns come out trying to get to a lesson and I frequently lose the elastics off the end of my braid because it gets caught in the scrum.

I do wear my hair up with hairsticks outside of school, though I'm very self-conscious about wearing it up up out of the house because of my neck hair, to which there seems to be no solution.

[Heidi_234]

Flexi-8s are much less expensive, and they are secured very well, if you put enough hair inside, and I'm sure you have enough hair to put inside. :wink: You can't yank a flexi-8 out, you really need to undo it.

[danacc]

It sounds like you'd rather keep some hair "down" at the nape because of a texture difference, and a hanging braid is enough to feel comfortable.

Stacy E's folded braid secured with a buff might work for you. The way it is secured would be gentler on your ends than an elastic.

You also may be able to do some variant of a Gibson tuck (http://thatcostumegirl.com/gallery/d/235-2/v_hair_2.jpg). Clipping with a Flexi-8 would be the most secure. With it secured near your nape, it's not likely to catch things. Heidi_234 is right--you're not going to lose the Flexi-8 if it gets snagged. It probably wouldn't feel good, though.

[danacc]

Oops! I forgot to include the link to the folded braid article: http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=68

[Tinose]

Honestly flexi-8s are probably the most secure things I've ever found for my hair, so you almost certainly don't have to worry about them falling out during classes. Since you don't like wearing your hair up all the time, though, I'd follow spidermom's ribbon suggestion for the braid.

You could also fold the braid in half to protect your ends. I occasionally wear my hair in a braid that's tucked along the back of my head, help up with a smaller flexi-8. It protects the ends, looks attractive, and won't fall out no matter what. You could let the braid dangle along your neck to conceal the neck hairs - I imagine it would still look good slightly longer, it's just that my hair's not long enough to try it yet.

Can I ask what your routine is? Shampoo and conditioner, CO, shampoo bars? It might be that something in there's damaging your hair. One thing I might suggest is that if you're currently oiling your hair when dry, start oiling it when it's wet, instead. Oils work by trapping the moisture inside, as I understand, and so oiling it when dry's not going to help your hair as much.

You could do S&D instead, and see if that helps. They're a pain and I hate them, but I've avoided trims by going in and cutting out all the split ends manually. I've also avoided trims by doing that and going "Huh. I have barely any split ends. Maybe a couple SMTs instead?" Which worked for me, because all they were was terribly dry.

Good luck! I hope something helps. It sounds very frustrating.

[peachrose]

I feel your pain! My hair is super thick and I am also somewhat self conscious about my neck hair. Why not try to do buns lower at your nape which will somewhat hide the neck hair, I bet you could even do them with a scrunchie. I hope that helps. :)

[lucys]

One thing you might want to try is doing a final rinse with filtered water (Brita..). If you are in a hard water area in the south of england, it can play merry hell with your ends. Just a thought.

Second/third or fourth the idea of a flexi-8. When my hair was longer, I used to wear them plenty. They managed to withstand rush hour on the tube...

Good luck.

[Isilme]

flexis are really sturdy and hold a lot of hair, I can fit in all my hair in an xl-flexi. I think it's very easy to get damaged hair if you only wear a braid, think of how frizzy they can get, and of wool coats *shudders* Could you get a plain wooden hairfork maybe? Or hold up a bun with amish pins? No one will think about a fuzzy nape
:ETA, if you don't want to get satin pillowcases you could just go to the abric store and buy a large sheet or satin, I find this more helpful than satin pillowcases because when your hair gets longer it will drape over the pillow and lay on the sheet and your expensive fancy satin pillowcase won't protect more of your hair thant he nape and maybe half of the braid if you're lucky. With a sheet you can pull down the pillow a little bit from the bedframe and make a little nice space for your braid.

[WyrdWay]

I didn't read all of the responces. But instead of using and elastic you could try cutting up a good stretchy pair of panty hoes or tights. I've been using only these since I started my journy and its crazy cost efficent because you can get 30 or so from one pair. And the top ones will be so long you can use the to make a segmented ponytail or even as a headband. And there are so many colors to chose from!
HHG

[melikai]

When I joined LHC, I had layers in my hair. I hated them and spent a long time trimming to get rid of them. There's still a little bit left, but they're pretty much gone. I intended to cut only half my growth each month, but it turns out I suck at self trimming, so from November 08-Jan 09 I was maintaining at BSL-ish.

I had my hair trimmed in March because self-trimming had left me with uneven ends.

At the end of May, my ends were absolutely unbearable - I could hardly even get a comb through. I ended up having about 3/4" cut off and it really improved things.

Now it's November, and though my ends aren't as bad as they were before, they really need a trim.

You can see my length in January in my sig pic - bottom of my bra strap. Now, on a good day, my hair is just barely brushing the top of waist. BSL is quite low on me so that's only about 2", and if I get my hair trimmed, that'll be about a 1" gain for the year when I've been growing my hair the whole time.

It sounds like I should be protecting my ends more but I honestly can't think of anything else I can do. The only thing I do which could damage them is wearing an elastic at the end of my braid almost every day, but I don't really have an alternative to that - I can't wear hairsticks to school and the only other style I can do is a sort of strange bun which still involves an elastic.

BSL and BSL+ are awful lengths for me - my hair is insanely thick and it's far too short for most 'long' styles but it's also too long for styles for shorter hair. If I can't get my hair to grow past this length, I'll cut it off - staying at this length is not an option though it seems there's simply nothing I can do about it.

I've posted about this before (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=26395) and I'm still saying the exact same things now, even after trying all the advice I was given :( Is there no end in sight?

I'm sorry you're feeling so frustrated. I have been feeling the same way about progress - I'm only 2" or so from where I started over a year ago. I feel like I'll never reach hip!

If you're concerned about losing an expensive hairstick or clip, you could try using Amish pins for your updos.

I was going to suggest the same ribbon trick that Spidermom did.

Sometimes, what appears to be damage can be buildup, so maybe try a clarifying treatment, followed by some moisture on your ends, and then re-evaluate. I've been able to put off trimming for a couple of months by doing that.

A bit of shea butter, or Fox's conditioning cream on just the last couple of inchs can also help preserve your ends, so that you can extend trims.

Good luck! You'll get there. Also, your hair is already extremely lovely as it is now!

[Melisande]

Don't trim. Define your ends as protective zone ;-) and trim only when you are well past your next milestone.

Try to fold your braid and contain it - the elastic seems to be doing damage so minimize its use. Try alternatives for the elastic and yes, I recommend Flexis, too. Scroos are another good alternative. Forget your nape hair - nobody notices such things. I didn't even know there is such a thing as problematic nape hair before I discovered the boards ;-) These are problems invisible to the rest of the not-hair-obsessed world.

April Elf and Eresh have some lovely updos for thick hair - take a look. Varying the way you wear your hair helps to avoid damage.

I second the advice to put silk or satin over your pillow - a pillowcase is not enough. I spread a silk shawl over the upper half of my bed. You may wrap your night braid in silk - then there is no need to put an elastic. For home use when nobody sees you, you may dig out an old soft scrunchie - they may not be the hottest thing to look at but they do little damage.

Keep the ends moisturized, i.e., water and oil together either in an emulsion (leave-in, Fox' sheabutter) or applied one after the other. (For me, water on oil works even better than oil on water - no idea why but I don't care, as long as it works).

Citric acid rinses (very mildly sour) are good for hard water-suffering hair. CWC is good anyway. So is misting the hair with distilled water and a bit of light oil - mist only where you need it.

Your hair looks lovely and if there is damage, I don't see it. You will get over this tricky stage. And many people would give much for your thickness. So embrace it - you have no choice anyway.

[Boudicca]

What about a braided bun without the elastics? Do the braid with the elastics in to hold everything in place. Then, slide the elastics out - the braid should still hold. Then wind it up into a bun and make sure the ends are tucked inside the bun to protect them. Use hair pins to secure. No elastics, ends protected, no expensive hairtoy.

[emi77]

Hi Periwinkle!

I don't have any advice, I'm afraid. But can I just say that your hair is absolutely beautiful! You have been one of my hair idols, since my lurker days! :flower:

Plus- about the neck hair- I didn't even notice it in your sig until you mentioned it!!! - and even then it just looked like a shadow from your bun! So you don't have to be self conscious about it at all!

My Gran always tells me that other people rarely see all the 'bad things' we think about ourselves, most people want to find the good in others, and the ones that don't aren't worth bothering with! ;)