Facebook comment on my hair - what? Read only if bored.

[pinchbeck]

Below are copied and pasted messages a friend wrote to me on Facebook (in my inbox). These were her very first messages she wrote after checking out my photo albums. How would you interpret this?

Edit: I forgot to include that her hair was as long as mine a few of years ago (when my hair was shorter) and that it had to be cut off due to overprocessing it to a very blond colour. At that time she was in love with her long blond hair and spent lots of money trying to maintain its colour.

1st Message:


Can I be honest and suggest something to you.

I know you like the hippie Ivory girl look, but you always looked so pretty with layers and you cut your hair yourself, wow, what talent !!

Your hair is too long and is weighing down your face and it is not bringing out your pretty blue eyes.

2nd Message:

By letting your hair just hang like an eskimo you are making a statement of I dont give a ****, I have given up, see if I care ........ and contentment that only long time married people experience !! You are way too young for that **** !!

[melrose1985]

WHAT THE HELL? that's sounds so rude!

[LawyerGirl]

!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Wow.

[spidermom]

Interesting. Does she read tea leaves, too?

[jojo]

Id find it a little insulting to be honest and contradictory (sp), in the first message she is commenting on how it drags your face down and the last sentance of the 2nd message is like your too young for that!

Is this a friend? id write one back and tell her your free to wear your hair however you like.

You can turn the message on its head and take it as a complement and totally confuse her by saying, yeah ive always loved the hippie look and thanks for complementing me on my long hair!

Or even say you think its long now.....watch this space!

[jojo]

Interesting. Does she read tea leaves, too?
LMAO! nice one!

[rach]

sounds like someone with an awful lot of options to me .

from looking at you albums you hair is beautiful :blossom: and by looking at the healthy look of it i'd say you give a ****.

[basketcase413]

Goodness!!! Why do people think they can use Facebook as an avenue to say things to people that they might never dream of saying to their face???? I just don't get that....you should do what YOU want with your hair....not sure why some people think they have the right say hurtful things to others. As for interpretation....I think she is a very rude and uncaring individual...but that's just my opinion! :rolleyes: :shrug: All of us here support you in doing what you want with your hair! :grouphug:

[Gypsygirl]

:confused: That is just plain rude. Nice "friend"! Don't take it to heart. Sounds like she has issues.

[SurprisingWoman]

I would post her messages on my wall and let people see what an a$$ she is.

[camirra555]

That is so unbelievably rude. And it's not like she sent you a discreet message in your inbox, she put it in the photo comment where others can see it too. If anyone put something like that on one of my photos I don't even know what I would do but I'd be pretty pissed. They'd probably either get deleted from my page or blocked from seeing any albums

[Longlocks3]

I'd defriend her butt on facebook! I don't need unsolicited hair advice.

[linda g]

sooo.... you're a hippie Eskimo Ivory Girl. Quite an accomplishment ;)

If you enjoy this person in other ways, just disregard the comments.

You can always remove the comments from your wall, or unfriend them if they are really bothering you.

[pinchbeck]

That is so unbelievably rude. And it's not like she sent you a discreet message in your inbox, she put it in the photo comment where others can see it too. If anyone put something like that on one of my photos I don't even know what I would do but I'd be pretty pissed. They'd probably either get deleted from my page or blocked from seeing any albums
No -- she wrote this in my inbox (thankfully).

[linda g]

No -- she wrote this in my inbox (thankfully).

That's not so bad. You can politely, privately, let her know that her hair advice hurt your feelings, and you'd really rather not have any more comments about your hair.

[Funsizedbaby]

I'd let her know that her opinion hurt your feelings. Or even say something like " You call this long, just wait to see what I have planned"

[Kerynna]

"... like an eskimo" ?!! Wow, I feel for her, she's obviously very envious to the point of being almost irrational. I'd ignore her PM to your inbox and just go on as if a gnat had momentarily gotten in your face.

That is beyond rude, but she must be struggling with her own self esteem to have posted something like that.

[florenonite]

Wow. Are you sure she's your friend?

[pinchbeck]

I would post her messages on my wall and let people see what an a$$ she is.
Oh...it wasn't on my wall, it was written in my inbox. She always has something catty to say on my wall, but not about my hair. Here is one example: In my photo albums on TLHC and on Facebook I have a photo of a cockroach sitting on a gum massager. She wrote this on the picture coments,"It takes ten seconds to use a gum massager :) It is a matter of getting into the habbit .... without caring for gums your breath stinks and you can lose your teeth eventually, gross !! Good luck with getting back into the habbit :) Sorry to be so gross, haa haa

At least it was not about my hair.:cheese:

[wackyredtangles]

This was one of those me laughing at inappropriate time things, but I loled.

I mean, really. Who does this girl think she is?

Also, ever notice that when people feel as if its their duty to tell you something its usually unpleasant?

[pinchbeck]

"... like an eskimo" ?!! Wow, I feel for her, she's obviously very envious to the point of being almost irrational. I'd ignore her PM to your inbox and just go on as if a gnat had momentarily gotten in your face.

That is beyond rude, but she must be struggling with her own self esteem to have posted something like that.

Maybe she is, but she is a lot prettier than me (boo hoo)!

[redpepper]

Your hair is very pretty.

I guess she does not have long hair? Only long hair people understand the bond we feel with our hair. (If that makes sence?)

[Calista]

Like an eskimo??!! :confused:

[pittsburgpam]

You say she is "prettier" than you??? Beauty is skin deep but rotten goes to the core. Since you are closer to the issue and your first thoughts were about how she LOVED her long hair but lost it due to not taking care of it, please take what she says in that light.

She came up with a few strange comparisons like Ivory, Eskimo, etc. She's really reaching.

[RancheroTheBee]

Oh...it wasn't on my wall, it was written in my inbox. She always has something catty to say on my wall, but not about my hair. Here is one example: In my photo albums on TLHC and on Facebook I have a photo of a cockroach sitting on a gum massager. She wrote this on the picture coments,"It takes ten seconds to use a gum massager :) It is a matter of getting into the habbit .... without caring for gums your breath stinks and you can lose your teeth eventually, gross !! Good luck with getting back into the habbit :) Sorry to be so gross, haa haa

At least it was not about my hair.:cheese:

Wow. She seems to have a lot of opinions about... everything, it seems.

Well, I think your hair is beautiful, and I'm sure the cockroach was, too. :p So, poo on her.

[Lamb]

My interpretation is this friend is begging to be removed.
Just do it, it's easy. I wouldn't even bother telling her why.

[Yozhik]

That's ridiculous, Pinchbeck. She clearly isn't a friend, and by the way she's acting, I don't see why you'd want to have her as one.

Also, Eskimo?! What is that supposed to mean? And why is looking like an Eskimo an insult, anyway? Gah, I don't get people.

As for being complacent about how you look, like "old married couples" maybe that's good, because it shows you're confident in how you look and you don't need other people's validation of their mainstream ideal of beauty to model yourself after. She must be insecure if she said that, no matter what you say about her being "better looking." Especially because complacent is just another way (negative, but since most of her comments seem to be negative, I would try to decode her statements) of saying confident.

Sorry for the mini-rant, but it really gets to me when people think they can be so mean to others who they call their friends.

[Xanthippe]

"contentment that only long time married people experience !!"

How dare you be content!!! :p

[QueenMadge]

Controlling much?

[Darkhorse1]

My response would be 'I love my long hair. Thanks anyway.". I mean, if she's a friend, she'd understand.

[Themyst]

Like an eskimo??!! :confused:

Yea, I really don't get that. Any Eskimo people I've seen with long, dark hair looked great to me.

Anyway, it doesn't sound like this girl is your friend.

[pinchbeck]

Your hair is very pretty.

I guess she does not have long hair? Only long hair people understand the bond we feel with our hair. (If that makes sence?)
She did have long hair. It had to be cut off due to over processing and she is growing it back. It is currently a bit longer than shoulder length.

[Jessikinz]

Your 'friend' has some very strange hair insults. I really don't appreciate when people give you hair advice when you don't ask them for it. It's very rude.

[Gypsygirl]

My interpretation is this friend is begging to be removed.
Just do it, it's easy. I wouldn't even bother telling her why.

My thoughts exactly!

[hanne jensen]

:agape::blossom:Does this person have a sight deficiency? Could you suggest prescriptive glasses?

Maybe it's sour grapes because she had to chop hers?

I think your hair is just gorgeous. Sorry for the personal comment.

If you want your hair down to the floor, it's entirely your business and no one else's.

This is an example of why I refuse to join Facebook.

[RancheroTheBee]

She did have long hair. It had to be cut off due to over processing and she is growing it back. It is currently a bit longer than shoulder length.

Ahhh. This may explain why she's a bit envious. It doesn't explain away her lack of manners, though.

[Cherry_Sprinkle]

I would open the inbox letters select all, copy, and paste as a note on my facebook wall. That is just beyond rude. It's one thing to give advice to your friend but its another to downright insult them!

[mechanolatry]

She did have long hair. It had to be cut off due to over processing and she is growing it back. It is currently a bit longer than shoulder length.

ahhh now it makes sense. It's hair jealousy.

what is a hippie Eskimo Ivory Girl anyway? lol.. actually saying eskimo is rude, they prefer Inuit. You should clue her in. :)

[florenonite]

ahhh now it makes sense. It's hair jealousy.

what is a hippie Eskimo Ivory Girl anyway? lol.. actually saying eskimo is rude, they prefer Inuit. You should clue her in. :)

Only the ones who are Inuit do ;) Eskimo encompasses the Inuit and Yupik peoples, the former inhabiting northern Canada and parts of Alaska and the latter inhabiting other parts of Alaska and Siberia.

[Aunteater]

A contented hippie Eskimo Ivory girl!! Awesome! From that description, I'd assume you are truly lovely to behold.

The proper reply is, of course, "Thank you! I'm flattered!"

....I always wanted to look like a happy hippie Eskimo. Sadly, I don't tan. And I don't have that nice straight black shiny hair. I wish.

[SHELIAANN1969]

Interesting. Does she read tea leaves, too?


:rollin:


I would take it as a sign you should remove her from your friends list. ugh....P-U :tbear:

[mira-chan]

Eskimo is an insult now? Really? ... The Eskimo (and all related groups within) have an interesting culture (long black hair included), which is something this lady seems to lack all together.

[redneckprincess]

:agape::blossom:

{#1}Maybe it's sour grapes because she had to chop hers?


{#2} This is an example of why I refuse to join Facebook.


#1 thats just what I was going to say...and yes I do wish I had/could pull off "the hippie look"
B: I am a "long time married woman"...10 years...thats a long time compaired to most people now a days...but i still care what i look like, still try to look good and attractive...

#2 facebook isnt as bad or catty as myspace..just depends who you add, I have found SOOO many people from my past that I NEVER thought Id hear from again

[Wavelength]

She used to have long hair... but she didn't take care of it... then she had to cut it off... and now she's dissing you about your obviously healthy long hair.

Yeah, usually I don't yell "envy!", but in this case it seems pretty clear.

[Olivia23]

Just block her sorry jealous a**!

[paperwhite]

She's practiaclly begging to be deleted from your friends list, pronto. If I were you, I'd give her just what she seems to be looking for.

Edit: Also, I agree with the sentiment that beauty is only skin deep but that rotten is always to the core.

[Hydrilus]

I first message could be passed as a freebie but then she followed up with an even nastier message! Geeze...some friend. You should definitely respond with respond with a positive comment to confuse the hell out of her.

[Addy]

Maybe she is, but she is a lot prettier than me (boo hoo)!

Her words make her uglier than you! ;)

Remember that beauty is only skin deep! Someday she's going to look like an old dried up sea hag. :D

B.L.O.C.K. H.E.R. !!!

[wahmof9]

You got to be kidding!

Tell her to go get a life. There are only two people you need to make happy...YOU and your hubby..... and find a new "friend."

[Anje]

Wow that's rude, harsh, and a bit racist! Unfriend her.

[wahmof9]

Maybe she is, but she is a lot prettier than me (boo hoo)!
Says who?

Pretty on the outside sure does not make your pretty does it? She just proved that point! What an ugly small person....

[Coriander]

Delete her. What a waste of time.

How utterly rude and very racist.

[kmangus]

Good Gravy.....your friend is thouroughly confused if she thinks that long hair weighs your face down.....its intrestining that she thinks shes telling you some horrible secret or something...kinda amuzing :)

[MsBubbles]

Maybe she is, but she is a lot prettier than me (boo hoo)!

Well it doesn't seem to have brought her much, eh?!

I'd cut someone like that right off. There are other nice, polite people in the world. I'm sorry that happened to you. I'm mad on your behalf.

[jesamyn]

A contented hippie Eskimo Ivory girl!! Awesome! From that description, I'd assume you are truly lovely to behold.

The proper reply is, of course, "Thank you! I'm flattered!"

....I always wanted to look like a happy hippie Eskimo. Sadly, I don't tan. And I don't have that nice straight black shiny hair. I wish.

Personally, I think this is an awesome response. :hifive:

[Yarn Muse]

I'd put in my Facebook status: contented Ivory hippie girl (probably leave out the Eskimo comment) and just let people wonder.

I think I'd unfriend her after she has a chance to see it.

[Armelle]

I agree with the above posters, get her off of your fb friends list. I definitely agree with SHELIAANN's skunk statement too! :D

[Shermie Girl]

Below are copied and pasted messages a friend wrote to me on Facebook (in my inbox). These were her very first messages she wrote after checking out my photo albums. How would you interpret this?

Edit: I forgot to include that her hair was as long as mine a few of years ago (when my hair was shorter) and that it had to be cut off due to overprocessing it to a very blond colour. At that time she was in love with her long blond hair and spent lots of money trying to maintain its colour.

1st Message:


Can I be honest and suggest something to you.

I know you like the hippie Ivory girl look, but you always looked so pretty with layers and you cut your hair yourself, wow, what talent !!

Your hair is too long and is weighing down your face and it is not bringing out your pretty blue eyes.

2nd Message:

By letting your hair just hang like an eskimo you are making a statement of I dont give a ****, I have given up, see if I care ........ and contentment that only long time married people experience !! You are way too young for that **** !!


I didn't read the thread, so I am likely repeating others.

Wow! With "friends" like that, who needs enemies? How negative and nasty can you get?

Is this a person with whom you are friends IRL? If so, they really need to soften their approach and learn to accept you for who you are, not whether or not your hair is fashionable, in their eyes.

Cripes. :rolleyes:

[Lady Danger]

I'd reply, via inbox, telling her you're sorry to see her own very obvious hair envy has made her feel it necessary to try and bring you down. Then I'd also tell her the old adage of "With friends like that, who needs enemies?". Finally, I would tell her you are unfriending her, and then do so.

This way you're not being passive-aggressive and you're actually rising above her level of immaturity by being open with her.

You do not need this person in your life, that's for sure.

ETA: OK, maybe commenting on her hair envy is a bit passive-aggressive, but I think someone needs to call her on it.

[gnegirl]

oh wow, is that rude....

i would be speechless, then i'd unfriend and block her.

[Elphie]

Does this person add any value to your life? Because I can't imagine keeping someone around who would feel comfortable enough to be so nasty to me and expect me to be grateful for it. Lose the baggage.

[Peter]

An eskimo?

What the hell?

[InTheCity]

If she's one of your best/oldest friends (most of us have 0-1 that fall into this category) you can take it as her being honest.

But otherwise, you can be the bigger person and say "thanks but I like it just fine" or do what I'd do and tell her "boring HEALTHY hair beats cliche' over processed blond hair anyway..." Perhaps I'm just a bit brash :p

The truth is, take it for what it probably is - boredom and a lack of satisfaction with one's own hair/looks/life.

Hair is just like dancing - if you like it and are having fun, who cares what it looks like!

[Horsetuna]

I dont get her message on the cockroach pic. Not like the photo means you're never using the thing.

But still, not a nice thing to say. I hope you unfriend her, even temporarily.

[Tangerine]

Sorry you're having to deal with this, Pinchbeck. If it were me this kind of thing would really eat at me :(

I think I'd respond by telling her I was fed up with her narky comments, both these latest ones and the other more public ones she's made, and that I don't need these kind of bad vibes in my life. Then I'd unfriend her.
But I'd feel kind of sick about it (not towards her, but just about the whole situation).



I have to say though, I love Yarn Muse's status update suggestion :D

[Teazel]

She sounds to me like someone who has well and truly bought into the beauty biz propaganda, and has probably watched too many makeover shows. And I'd say she actually thinks she's doing you a favour by 'enlightening' you about your appearance... and personal hygiene!

Certainly she's too free with her opinion, anyway.

[Demetrue]

My first reaction was WTF?? (and I rarely ever curse, but WOW, what a rude message!) I would send her a message back saying, "Sorry to disappoint you, but I am growing my hair down to my toes in an effort to show solidarity with my Eskimo brothers and sisters ;>)"

[longhairedfairy]

So she has no manners, no taste, and she's racist? Sheesh.:rolleyes:

[ladycatpurrs]

Hmm, it looks like you have plenty of friends on here who think you are both pretty and worthy of defending with your hair choice..for myself, if having long hair "weighs your face down" then I am off to begin a long prayer vigil for a 100 pound face...

a real friend wants to see you happy and will do what it takes to help you achieve that goal, IMO

[Stephichan]

"Ivory", huh? Personally, I'd much rather be ivory than the orange that I see everyday. I'm going to use that to go with what everyone else has said, but a step farther.

Society/media dictates that we all have blonde bobs and are tanned. This girl sounds like one of the minions of society. Your "friend" is following all the rules and probably knows that doing so is dangerous, and then there is you, who flouts the rules, is happy doing so, and has amazing results. She's not just jealous of your hair, it sounds like she's jealous of your whole care-free attitude (AKA, "hippie" lifestyle). Since I'm a non-confrontationist, I'd just ignore her, but you should react how you see fit, since it's your life.

[frodolaughs]

I think I'll be echoing many others here when I ask, "what do you get from this friendship?"
Your hair looks lovely. The comments by your 'friend' are nonsensical.

[Elenna]

You look pretty young even from the back.

Hippie generallly means growing out natural hair. There is nothing wrong with that. It is just not following the current chop, dye, fry styles. Not everyone wants to keep in style, so the hair police feel obligated to voice their mass-media made opinions.

But even worse, she is racist. I happen to like Indians and Eskimos (sorry Inuit). They have a wonderful culture and gorgeous art. And that beautiful hair!!!!!

Even if you think she is pretty, it doesn't last. And a mean, supercritical, petty attitude is remembered over looks anytime.

[camirra555]

No -- she wrote this in my inbox (thankfully).


Oh ok. The way I read it I thought that she had written it for everyone to see. That's not as bad but it's still pretty rude.

[CaityBear]

That's fairly insulting. I would be one to message her back and say "Sorry if I don't plan on taking your advice, but I happen to love my long hair and I don't plan on cutting it any time soon."

I hate how people think they can just say stuff like that all the time. And they don't even go about it in a nice way! Seriously people! Geesh!

Luckily I don't get many comments like that. If I did, those people would be sorry. I'd be getting pissed off after the first comment or two.

Anyway! I just want to say your hair is gorgeous. :)

[busnutmedic]

Hahaha...

Sorry to laugh, but it did make me laugh. She's full of *something*!

Sorry she was so rude to you!

[Aero]

jeeeeeaaaaallllouuusssss.

[DMARTINEZ]

Unfriend her,and do it pronto. Shes a beotch,,,,ahem, IMHO. ;)


Deb

[Pear Martini]

I would post her messages on my wall and let people see what an a$$ she is.



I agree 100%

[aprilmay]

That does not sound much like a friend to me.

[pinchbeck]

I dont get her message on the cockroach pic. Not like the photo means you're never using the thing.

But still, not a nice thing to say. I hope you unfriend her, even temporarily.
I am always forgetting to include things. I should have included that my sister said it was gross that I took a picture of the green cockroach on a used gum massager. I told her it was new and I had never used it. That's where this same girl this post is about added her comment.

My responses to the cockroach photo was, "I don't know how to interpret this, but I assure you I have good oral hygiene".:D

[Aerith]

Pinchbeck,

Your hair is beautiful! It sounds to me like your friend is jealous of your hair because she fried her own from dyeing it so much.

How does wearing hair down make someone a hippy or look like an eskimo? *Shrugs*

[Wanderer09]

I actually find it worse that she sent you a message rather than just leave a picture comment. If your hair upsets her so much that she has to send you a private message about it, then it shows she has an unhealthy obsession. Why care so much about what other people choose to do to their hair, honestly?

She needs a hobby. ;)

[In2JC724]

In my experience, people who say crap like that are just jealous. Whether it be of your hair, or your relationships, which were two of the things she hit on. I think if this were my "friend" I'd put some serious distance between us. "With friends like these, who needs enemies" rings very true here... our friends are supposed to help us, and encourage us.. not slap us in the face. :twocents:

[UncommonTart]

"contentment that only long time married people experience !!"

How dare you be content!!! :p


I'm so glad someone said something about this! Since when is contentment a bad thing?!

And what is the Eskimo comment about? I find the whole comment puzzling, to be honest.

I just want to say though- Pinchbeck, I think that you have beautiful hair.

[KatanyaG]

Personally, I'd ask this lady to be mindful of what she's saying to you. If her manner doesn't improve, I would also kick her off my friends list and block her for a while - just to let her think over what she's done.

You have stunning hair, and it sounds like she's suffering a bad case of envy.

[Iron0Maiden]

Wow thats really rude and I sence a little bit of jelousy there, from your picture your hair is sooo pretty and wavy. Don't listen to her. If I were you, I'd eaither just not reply, or tell her FYI you take good care of your hair and you LIKE it that way, you do what you want. Or just say ok whatever... :-)

[sonng]

She sounds like an ******* O_O

[sonng]

She sounds like an ******* O_O
butthole* i gots teh censored :P

[Hypnotica]

Kill her with kindness.

Or just play dumb and take anything that she says as a grande compliment. :D fter a few times, she will stop giving you her "advice" on you hair or anything else.

[Sylvanas]

I had a look at your pictures, and your hair looks beautiful, that's for sure! However, I haven't seen your face, so maybe it is true that your hair is weighing it down? Many people look better with some layers in the front (I'm one of them). I know I prefer blunt honesty from my friends. If someone thinks a cut/colour doesn't suit me, it doesn't mean I'm gonna go and change it, I just prefer to hear their real opinion. That way I know the compliments I'm getting are real as well :)

Your friend is either giving you her honest opinion, or she's jealous of your hair. Her first message was rather constructive, but the second one leads me to believe she's jealous. At any rate, what really matters is that you're happy with your hair. I can totally see why people think she was out of line saying that stuff, but please consider all options here. A good way to find out if she was giving you her honest opinion is to find a pic of her where something could be improved. For example: "That colour doesn't really flatter your skintone. I think you look gorgeous in blue, though!". See how she reacts to it. If she gets mad, it'll be obvious that she just wanted you to look less pretty. If she thanks you for the constructive criticism, you know you have a friend who just likes to say it like it is.

[Alun]

IME, when women 'give up' on their appearance they usually CUT their hair. YMMV.

She's jealous, otherwise why is she regrowing hers?

[florenonite]

I actually find it worse that she sent you a message rather than just leave a picture comment. If your hair upsets her so much that she has to send you a private message about it, then it shows she has an unhealthy obsession. Why care so much about what other people choose to do to their hair, honestly?

She needs a hobby. ;)

I agree.

I would also have preferred if she'd posted them as picture comments because then everyone else would see how rude she's being :p

[brok3nwings]

Hmm... yes she was rude but im not sure if she knows she is beeing rude.. your reaction should be having consideration what kind of friend she is.

[hmmm]

I would post her messages on my wall and let people see what an a$$ she is.

Sounds like something I would do too. :p

[Loviatar]

Hah.

I would :

1. post your FB status as "is a happy contented Ivory Eskimo girl, and any 'advice' to cut my hair will be met with an unimpressed response"

2. remove 'friend' from friends list, and include a little message to let her know her passive-aggressive personal remarks are both uncalled for and unwanted

3. post a reply to her 'cockroach/gum massager' comment that says: "Thank you for your personal remark. While I am off taking fun pictures of cockroaches and dental equipment, in between learning from your great advice about oral hygiene, please remember that it only takes 10 seconds to enrol in a Skills for Life class, where hopefully you will learn how to spell the word habit correctly."

But then, I am a grade A biyatch sometimes. :eyebrows:

(if the misspelling of 'habbit' was your own error, then naturally, I'm putting it down to a typo due to the rage of seeing this girl's rude comments. :D )

[3azza]

what the f****? that is rude, do those people even have nice hair to talk about others'?

[myrrhmaiden]

I would post her messages on my wall and let people see what an a$$ she is.
heehehe. Good one. <3

[Wavelength]

Hah.

I would :

1. post your FB status as "is a happy contented Ivory Eskimo girl, and any 'advice' to cut my hair will be met with an unimpressed response"



Oh THIS! :rollin:

In fact, I'd just leave it at "happy contented Ivory Eskimo girl" as if your "friend" gave you a big compliment. That will likely tick her off so much she won't know how to respond. Rofl!!! :D

[RavennaNight]

I have nothing particularly thought provoking to add. But I certainly would unfriend her. What a rude *****. I don't get the ivory Eskimo thing. Does she mean ivory as in your skin color? And I don't get the eskimo thing at all:confused:.

[JamieLeigh]

Wow. What a completely different tone between those two messages. I'm sorry if I repeat something someone else has said, I don't really have a lot of time online this morning and can't read all the way through ten pages of replies. :p

The first one seemed actually quite nice IMHO. She was very complimentary about your previous layered style, and seemed very genuinely impressed that you cut your own hair. But I'm guessing you probably told her you didn't have any plans to do what she suggested and get back to short layers, so that's where the second message came from? Some people really can't take the fact that others don't immediately adopt their opinions and take their advice. If you stood up for yourself and what your long hair means to you, then good on ya! :D

[pinchbeck]

I had a look at your pictures, and your hair looks beautiful, that's for sure! However, I haven't seen your face, so maybe it is true that your hair is weighing it down? Many people look better with some layers in the front (I'm one of them). I know I prefer blunt honesty from my friends. If someone thinks a cut/colour doesn't suit me, it doesn't mean I'm gonna go and change it, I just prefer to hear their real opinion. That way I know the compliments I'm getting are real as well :)

Your friend is either giving you her honest opinion, or she's jealous of your hair. Her first message was rather constructive, but the second one leads me to believe she's jealous. At any rate, what really matters is that you're happy with your hair. I can totally see why people think she was out of line saying that stuff, but please consider all options here. A good way to find out if she was giving you her honest opinion is to find a pic of her where something could be improved. For example: "That colour doesn't really flatter your skintone. I think you look gorgeous in blue, though!". See how she reacts to it. If she gets mad, it'll be obvious that she just wanted you to look less pretty. If she thanks you for the constructive criticism, you know you have a friend who just likes to say it like it is.

Some people don't necessarily look better with long locks! I once wrote her about her eyebrows being plucked too thinly (she has natural Brooke Shield's eyebrows) and her heavy application of eyeliner that she draws around her whole eye and she responded with, "Well, I always get compliments on my eyebrows". Another time she wrote on her wall that she is going for a 50km bicycle ride and I wrote, "Have fun and I hope you don't get too sore". Her reply was, "I don't want to sound conceited, but I have very muscular legs".

A li'l strange. She wrote this on her wall and I didn't respond because I felt I would leave her comment floating for all her friends to read.

[pinchbeck]

"Ivory", huh? Personally, I'd much rather be ivory than the orange that I see everyday. I'm going to use that to go with what everyone else has said, but a step farther.

Society/media dictates that we all have blonde bobs and are tanned. This girl sounds like one of the minions of society. Your "friend" is following all the rules and probably knows that doing so is dangerous, and then there is you, who flouts the rules, is happy doing so, and has amazing results. She's not just jealous of your hair, it sounds like she's jealous of your whole care-free attitude (AKA, "hippie" lifestyle). Since I'm a non-confrontationist, I'd just ignore her, but you should react how you see fit, since it's your life.

The Ivory girl comment refers to Ivory Soap bar commercials that were aired a long time ago. Back then I didn't wear makeup like all others did (even though I teased and streaked my hair) and I was referred to as an 'Ivory Girl'.

[pinchbeck]

IME, when women 'give up' on their appearance they usually CUT their hair. YMMV.

She's jealous, otherwise why is she regrowing hers?
My thoughts exactly, but I didn't call her on that because I don't want to stoop as low as she has.

[pinchbeck]

Hah.

I would :

1. post your FB status as "is a happy contented Ivory Eskimo girl, and any 'advice' to cut my hair will be met with an unimpressed response"

2. remove 'friend' from friends list, and include a little message to let her know her passive-aggressive personal remarks are both uncalled for and unwanted

3. post a reply to her 'cockroach/gum massager' comment that says: "Thank you for your personal remark. While I am off taking fun pictures of cockroaches and dental equipment, in between learning from your great advice about oral hygiene, please remember that it only takes 10 seconds to enrol in a Skills for Life class, where hopefully you will learn how to spell the word habit correctly."

But then, I am a grade A biyatch sometimes. :eyebrows:

(if the misspelling of 'habbit' was your own error, then naturally, I'm putting it down to a typo due to the rage of seeing this girl's rude comments. :D )
You are so funny! I did in deed copy and paste her messages as written and chose not to correct any spelling mistakes.

[pinchbeck]

I have nothing particularly thought provoking to add. But I certainly would unfriend her. What a rude *****. I don't get the ivory Eskimo thing. Does she mean ivory as in your skin color? And I don't get the eskimo thing at all:confused:.
Another member thought Ivory referred to my skin colour, too. It refers to the Ivory girls who were featured years ago in the Ivory Soap bar commercials (no makeup, clear skin, and hair pulled back).

[shadowclaw]

I really wasn't sure what Ivory Girl was supposed to mean... I thought maybe it was something like a Valley Girl. Thanks for clearing that up. It still doesn't make sense to call you an Ivory Girl because you chose not to wear makeup, though. Who really cares?

I wouldn't let her get to you, though. People love to give unsolicited advice. Especially people who think that they're the best thing since sliced bread. Plus people do really weird things on Facebook. Like when one of my best friends bought some big fake eyelashes to play with and she took a picture of herself with them on and made it her main picture. Another friend of ours updated her status to something that basically said, "Fake eyelashes are stupid. Anyone who wears them has problems." :rolleyes:

[Copasetic]

I haven't read through the whole thread yet, so I apologize if this has been brought up already but what the heck does "hang like an eskimo" mean? Yuck.

Edit: I see that it has been mentioned a few times, but it can't be said enough!

[MissThorne]

I would take the ivory bit as a compliment. Ivory soap=clean.
As for the part of giving up...since when is long hair low maintenance enough to be worn by someone who stopped caring?
The Doors were right, people ARE strange. ;)

[pinchbeck]

I really wasn't sure what Ivory Girl was supposed to mean... I thought maybe it was something like a Valley Girl. Thanks for clearing that up. It still doesn't make sense to call you an Ivory Girl because you chose not to wear makeup, though. Who really cares?

I wouldn't let her get to you, though. People love to give unsolicited advice. Especially people who think that they're the best thing since sliced bread. Plus people do really weird things on Facebook. Like when one of my best friends bought some big fake eyelashes to play with and she took a picture of herself with them on and made it her main picture. Another friend of ours updated her status to something that basically said, "Fake eyelashes are stupid. Anyone who wears them has problems." :rolleyes:

Maybe my friend and your friend are long lost sisters since they share the same traits! Truly, that was inappropriate. The friend with the fake eyelashes was being fun and cute.

[Sylvanas]

Some people don't necessarily look better with long locks! I once wrote her about her eyebrows being plucked too thinly (she has natural Brooke Shield's eyebrows) and her heavy application of eyeliner that she draws around her whole eye and she responded with, "Well, I always get compliments on my eyebrows". Another time she wrote on her wall that she is going for a 50km bicycle ride and I wrote, "Have fun and I hope you don't get too sore". Her reply was, "I don't want to sound conceited, but I have very muscular legs".

A li'l strange. She wrote this on her wall and I didn't respond because I felt I would leave her comment floating for all her friends to read.

lol :D That's also a part of the issue,though. Some people think thin eyebrows are pretty, some like a more natural look. It's very hard to find a style that will please everyone, which is why you should dress and style your hair for you! :) From what you said, she does seem to handle constructive criticism, but in a very 'full of herself' way. If she just wanted to give you some friendly advice on your hair, she would have stopped after her first message. If I tell my friend she looks washed out in beige, I don't go on and on about it. I have told her my opinion, and I feel no need to constantly keep telling her.

[adiapalic]

Below are copied and pasted messages a friend wrote to me on Facebook (in my inbox). These were her very first messages she wrote after checking out my photo albums. How would you interpret this?

Edit: I forgot to include that her hair was as long as mine a few of years ago (when my hair was shorter) and that it had to be cut off due to overprocessing it to a very blond colour. At that time she was in love with her long blond hair and spent lots of money trying to maintain its colour.

1st Message:


Can I be honest and suggest something to you.

I know you like the hippie Ivory girl look, but you always looked so pretty with layers and you cut your hair yourself, wow, what talent !!

Your hair is too long and is weighing down your face and it is not bringing out your pretty blue eyes.

2nd Message:

By letting your hair just hang like an eskimo you are making a statement of I dont give a ****, I have given up, see if I care ........ and contentment that only long time married people experience !! You are way too young for that **** !!

I hate to say it, but this line makes me feel pretty damn irritated. It has that irrational, snobby, borderline racist undertone.

I mean, "hair just hang like an eskimo"? -- I guess implying a "savage" look, that people with longer hair seem "unkempt" and "uncivilized" was what she was going for? Using a race of people as a simile to emphasize the unattractiveness of long hair is covertly racist.

These superficial, shallow, completely empty judgments she's made about your absolutely beautiful hair only clarifies that this person has no grace about her whatsoever.

:flower:

[marikamt]

what a snotty B***h. Sorry.

I looked at your pics, your hair is beautiful...... and either way it is YOUR HAIR..... if you are happy, who cares?? Who made her the fashion/ style police?????

[eadwine]

That's a friend?

Ehhh.. short response? "bye"

[Bonkers57]

I LOVE your sig! :cheese:

"Goal? I'm too lazy for that. I'll just grow until I don't like it."



Society/media dictates that we all have blonde bobs and are tanned. This girl sounds like one of the minions of society. Your "friend" is following all the rules and probably knows that doing so is dangerous, and then there is you, who flouts the rules, is happy doing so, and has amazing results. She's not just jealous of your hair, it sounds like she's jealous of your whole care-free attitude (AKA, "hippie" lifestyle). Since I'm a non-confrontationist, I'd just ignore her, but you should react how you see fit, since it's your life.

[MotherConfessor]

Although you already have plenty of great advice, I would consider messaging her back and saying
"My hair is beautiful" Dont make it an opinion or leave it open for discussion, shut her down with a statement of fact. Then, if you are feeling particularly snarky, message her a few days later with,
"Honey, I know you mean well and you are just trying to help out, but no one appreciates your "constructive criticism." It makes you come across as arrogant and Bitchy. The fact that people dont mention it is not because they dont mind, its because they can just talk about you later behind your back." I always figure if people dont know they are being rude, they will never learn.

Or you could fight fire with fire
"Hey, you know I love you and think you are beautiful, but you have got to stop putting eyeliner around your whole eye. It makes you look so over made up and like some kind of trying too hard goth emo. Or like you are trying to be Cleopatra or something."

No offense to the goth crowd - I love you guys. But judging from this girls reaction I would say that she would consider that to be bad.

[BranwenWolf]

Oooh, I would not take that well. I'd copy and paste the whole thing and put it on her wall and my wall. The "eskimo" comment is most certainly racist. I don't get the "contentment that only married people can experience" comment. Huh?

I'm rather amused that people seem to be so concerned with you appearance and act like you're uninformed and need coaching.

[Fractalsofhair]

I've gotten similar comments from friends about my hair now, but to be honest, when my hair is down, it looks like a mullet. A bad mullet. XD Your hair is gorgeous!

And then when I got my hair cut, a few of my guy friends actually posted things like "NOOOOOOO!!!!!" and such, even though some of them knew how damaged my hair was. XD

I mean, if you don't like a photo on FB, don't comment about it. I'm weirded out by seeing one of my cousins(Male and IDs as Male.) in a miniskirt with HEAVY makeup on(He tries to be a drag queen, but it's kinda hard with a beard. XD It is amusing though, and that's the whole point of drag. Just, it would be a little more amusing if he could actually pull off the look and was still male.), for a "Party", and I'm definitely not too keen on seeing my friends at parties drinking in their photos, and I think that some of my friends photos are unflattering. If they ask me how an outfit looks on them, I'll tell them, but I try to avoid negative comments on photos except with my actually best friends who comment just as honestly on mine. If you're literally best friends with someone, I could see a friend joking and suggesting you get your hair cut, or even flat out telling you you look bad with long hair. But, that's one or two comments, among hundreds per week. XD If she's not that close to you, then it is just rude esp given how lovely your hair is!

[SurprisingWoman]

"when I dress up as a frigid bitch, I try not to look so constipated."

Bwahahaha, copy all the text to your walls and end it with that.

[florenonite]

"when I dress up as a frigid bitch, I try not to look so constipated."

This is ace!

[bttrfly857]

She sounds kind of drunk... and mean

[Fractalsofhair]

She sounds kind of drunk... and mean
Drunken FB comments are always interesting to read...

So I do actually agree with that being a strong possibility if it was sent late at night!

[EmpressRi]

Crazy much? Ole girl clearly has some demons to deal with. Jealousy being one of them!

[Pony Girl]

She obviosly has too much time on her hands and spends it unproductively being rude to people. Ignore her she isn't worth it.