Help! I destroyed my hair!

[Marie99]

Until about the first of this year, I was coloring my hair frequently. It was BSL. Now I've been getting trims to cut off splits and the steel wool feeling. I've had a lot of trims this year. I just had an inch cut off, then I went back and let them cut off about 4 more inches and put in long layers to get more damage out.

My hair has only grown about 4 1/2 inches since Jan. I can tell because of the coloring. Now I have 4 1/2 inches of virgin hair and 4 1/2 inches of colored hair, more or less.

My hair is a coarse, thick mess. I have that Gilda Radner look going on and always have, but coloring makes it worse. Sometimes its wavy and sometimes its not.

I CO unless I get something nasty in my hair. I use coconut oil on the ends.

I think I wrap ponytail bands too tight. Will that give me splits?

I'm torn between cutting off all the color and leaving myself with almost no hair for the next year until it grows back to how it is now and trying to baby it along to have some length.

I have cats so I'm not too sure I want catnip on my hair.

I want my hair to grow fast and be strong.

What would you do with this disaster area?

[Gypsygirl]

I guess I'm voting for the second option. Just spoil your hair rotten and stop coloring... Throw out your blowdryer! And yes- of course ponytail wrappers can cause damage. Try using those terrycloth ones...or scrunchies- nice and soft. Or just braid your hair instead of putting it in a ponytail.
Sending lots of good hair vibes your way...you'll get there, you'll see!

Oh, and I have cats, too! ;)

[jojo]

I would definatelly stay away from all kinds of heat, lots of overnight oilings followed by CO washes and DC are the order of the day. Also sounds like you could do with a good protien treatment, it is posible to get hair back to a healthy state.

It might also mean having regular dustings to achieve this too.

[Cat Lady]

I have three cats and I can assure you, they don't even notice after I have catnip-treated my hair. If your cats become overly affectionate after catnipping they are just probably hungry ;) and you could pry them off you with some food.

My hair has been bleached from faded dark red to almost platinum over three salon sessions. ALso the bleaching was done over a base from several boxed chemical dyes (so my hair is totally fried to bits) and I was sure I'd just have to cut the lot off, but henna has totally saved it and made it a pretty red again! I don't have to cut any of it off anymore, and I don't even have any splits at all and I'm not even micro- trimming my hair from chin length until I reach shoulder.

If you're not wanting to henna your hair (it is very permanent as you probably know!) maybe you can try cassia to strengthen your hair instead? I'm sure lots of experts on here would be happy to help you out with tips on that. Plus there is a thread I have been lurking in, on something called "Thriven" that might help. Its a treatment that seems to work magic on some people with very processed hair.

Important disclaimer: I haven't tried Thriven myself so I can't vouch for it. (I'm trying to avoid all chemicals and cut down on products) It does sound promising in its effects on damaged hair - although opinion does seem to be split.

[Shermie Girl]

Ugh! I feel your pain. I destroyed my hair trying to remove henna. Long story. The result was structurally destroyed length and ends. Sticky and gummy when wet, dry and staring when dry. I can't bring myself to do yet another drastic chop to my dye line which hovers around chin length, right now.

I cope by using diluted shampoo, lots of conditioner and leave in. Jojoba oil is terrific for giving slip to my sticky, gummy ends. Damp bunning holds in moisture. Air drying makes my hair feel lovely but blow drying (on medium heat, no warmer then comfortable on the skin on my face) actually makes it look better. I do lots of oiling with coconut oil before washing.

I wear my hair up all the time and am just trying to be patient and let it grow as I trim away the yukky hair. It takes time and sometimes it drives me insane. I want that nasty hair gone! NOW! I am soooo tired of horrid looking hair when it is down. But, if I want some length to wear up, I have to hang in there. It is a trade off and you need to do what is right for you. If you really want to save your length, you can. But you will have to be patient and you will have to live with less then stellar looking hair, for a time. :)

[Carolyn]

I don't think your hair is slow growing. 1/2" per month is average. I know it seems slow but it really isn't. Baby your hair as it grows, taking care not to damage the new growth. I find that CO washing and regular oiling helps a lot.

[GoddesJourney]

Your hair will be fine. It's just a matter of time before all that damaged stuff grows out to a reasonable cutting length. I, too, used to dye many years ago. Growing out the two toned, straw textured, velcroey? mess is terrible and demoralizing. I know. It's sounds like you've already cut as much as you're willing to cut. That's enough. Oil up the rest until it's longer.

I found that the ponytail band was very damaging to my hair. Wet braids were my solution. I would always braid my hair right out of the shower and it kept my in business. Also, braiding is a great way to avoid having to see the mess you've made with your hair, especially since, after your trim, it won't be very long.

[Laululintu]

A few years ago, my hair went through a period of repeated mechanical damage. My hair was in a sorry state afterwards, even though I tried to baby it as much as I could at the time. Increasing the amount of conditioner I used (I went from WC to CWC) helped inmmensely, as did regular oilings.

[pinchbeck]

If it were me I would try to deposit a semi-permanent hair colour only that matched my virgin hair colour. The dyed hair will absorb the colour and actually make it feel better. Apparently, a semi-permanent fills in the hair cuticles. As your virgin hair continues to grow in, you can gradually cut out the coloured parts. That way you don't have to go around with shorter locks!

Note: Apply the semi-permanent to the coloured parts only. It will fade and can be re-applied as needed.

[klcqtee]

Ah, I was in your situation a few summers back. I cut it all off. My hair went from 4 inches past BSL to jaw length. It was fun having short hair - for a while. As soon as I wanted my long hair, I mourned over my loss. I wish that I hadn't cut it all off, and I had just toughed it out, and worn my hair up, and slowly cut it off bit by bit.

I vote that you let your hair grow past BSL, then cut back to just above BSL. You'll end up cutting off about 3 inches per cut. This way, you'll still have long hair, but you're gaining on having virgin hair. Plus, your hair, as damaged as it is, will feel better after a big cut every 4-6 months. You won't gain any length during this time, but BSL is pretty long, and not a bad place to maintain.

ETA: Also, at BSL, you should switch to using hairsticks (whenever possible) instead of hair bands. Clearly for sports this isn't reasonable, but just for walking around town, or puttering around the house, hair sticks are the way to go! I made my own out of some chopsticks from a chinese restraunt. I sharpened them with a pencil sharpener, sanded them, and tthen painted it with some old nail polish. Nice smooth finish, and super inexpensive.