Fighting for our goals..............

[rach]

when i came here i saw hope that my dream hair cold be achieved easily through care and patience and breaking a few habits........which is an obstacle on its own- innocent enough, my hair had been put through hell i hated it and i wanted to love it again and i was and still am willing to get to my goal of healthy long looking and feeling hair, it's my personal preference and nothing to do with friend or family around me (most don't care)

I've noticed it takes a new mentality turnaround and we see hair in a more critical light hence tv shows threads (new makeover) and hawking out hair growth and freaking out on split ends (i'm guilty to), and bitting your lip when you see people around you do the most awful things to there hair (back brushing often comes to mind)

Since i've joined here i've come to realize that breaking free from allot of social conformities are a necessity to achieve these goals .
And society is not ready to comfort to to slopping on the mud, rinsing there hair with teas or evan put Monistat on there head (have i missed anything? :ponder:). I learnt very quickly just to shut up or you just get the eyebrow of "what planets is she on".
society and media wants us to be clones it feels and that long hair should be kept inside a fairy tale book .............
http://i144.photobucket.com/albums/r172/yuka_hallack/Artwork/rapunzel.jpg
Also i notice people here with "long" hair people have built up protection barriers to keep away from long hair ****** people which to be honest i wasn't aware was such a problem and hatred/jealousy also seems to have show up outside these four forum walls :ponder:. my hair isn't really long but i've sampled an issue or two which has put up my guard slightly on privacy which i don't want to go into but it worries me......
but i refuse it to be in the way for what i personally want.

It's wrong that there's a prejudice on this and it added to the long list of struggles which aren't apparent out there-

natural methods hidden from pain view.
ingredients to hide damaged hair (cones, Polyquaterniums, mineral oils ect)- they are everywhere !!!
the complication on trying to read these lables :confused:
Herbs- what's that? don't see them at the local ordinary supermarket shelf.
Quick fix products
Easier Quick fixes - short hair cuts , hair extensions, dreadlocks extensions.
Lack of knowledge
lack of encouragement
feel welcome to add to the list..........

but thats why i'm here and many of you are. LHC is a encyclopedia of information, tested and proven knowledge and friendship with suport and respect for one another .

I just want to say i admire your mental strength to stand by your personal preferences and it's wrong that any of us should feel we should hide when there's so many who have the most amazing hair which is such an inspiration to us............

we should be Embracing/celebrating it :blossom:




(MODs i hope you don't mind this been posted here but it seem more appropriate it being placed outside public viewing and if this thread you feel is a problem feel welcome to remove it)

[physicschick]

(MODs i hope you don't mind this been posted here but it seem more appropriate it being placed outside public viewing and if this thread you feel is a problem feel welcome to remove it)


It's fine on the publicly viewable boards. I moved it for you. :)

[Sister13]

Amen, Rach!

[halo_tightens]

I've noticed that any time I do explain some of the things I've been doing lately (hair-wise) to someone, like maybe to women at work who've asked about my changing hair, I get a reaction that's a mixture of surprised disgust and admiring interest. It's almost like they start to realize that they've been falsely conditioned, but they don't dare admit it, and might even be a tiny bit envious that they "could never" do such things themselves.

Are those bonds really so firm for so many people? Are they that afraid of doing something a tiny bit different?

I've been dabbling in the unconventional since I was a teenager, so I feel free to explore anything I find interesting. Why are so many people afraid to leave the beaten path, whether for hair care or other things? I've been wondering that for years. And maybe we're helping in some small way? I like to hope so.

[Gypsygirl]

Thanks for writing that. I second every word you said... :)

[rach]

it felt a bit of a rant (hence the mass writing) but i respect other peoples looks and styles why aren't other open minded?
and why all this conforming ............ everyone has there own right to be individual in there own right :brickwall

calmer now ........ :meditate: mmmm tea

[Medievalmaniac]

I gave up trying to pleae other people a loooong time ago. And frankly, no matter what weird looks I get when I discuss my hair regime, once the other person touches it and feels how soft and silky it is - she's a convert. ;op She might not try it herself, but she extols it to everyone else!! (yes, "she" - no guys touching my hair, except my DH!!) :)

[spidermom]

I don't have the perception that I need to fight for my hair goals. I'm very calm and matter of fact about what I want when I see my hair stylist. I've learned that most people don't find the subject of hair and how it grows very interesting, so I don't talk about it very much outside of LHC. Maybe it's a cultural thing where I live, but I never get challenged about what I do with my hair. Nobody tells me I ought to cut it or anything like that.

[Carolyn]

I don't have the perception that I need to fight for my hair goals. I'm very calm and matter of fact about what I want when I see my hair stylist. I've learned that most people don't find the subject of hair and how it grows very interesting, so I don't talk about it very much outside of LHC. Maybe it's a cultural thing where I live, but I never get challenged about what I do with my hair. Nobody tells me I ought to cut it or anything like that.Me too, Spidermom. I learned early on, that most people don't have an interest in my hair or hair in general, and only a passing interest in their own. So I don't talk about it. I don't try to spread the LHC type of long hair love out there. My hair is a private little hobby that I share with like minded friends here at LHC. I don't feel questioned or condemned about my hair choice. My hair or long hair in general isn't on any one's mind but mine.

My advice is if you are feeling a prejudice against your hair, just don't talk about it. Don't bring the subject up. If asked about it, make your reply short and to the point. Don't elaborate. Keep it vague. Don't talk about the different (as in LHC different) things you do. Hair talk will bore most people to sleep. If you wear your hair up a lot most people won't realize how long it is.

[Peter]

Excellent post, I agree! :)

[MemSahib]

That is all well and good for those of you who live where you are not challenged, but many of us must occasionally defend our turf when it comes to our hair, with friends, family or both. However, like you I mainly don't talk about it and keep it up in public most of the time. They may or may not like what I do with it but that at least cuts back on the criticising questions.

[DMARTINEZ]

Me too, Spidermom. I learned early on, that most people don't have an interest in my hair or hair in general, and only a passing interest in their own. So I don't talk about it. I don't try to spread the LHC type of long hair love out there. My hair is a private little hobby that I share with like minded friends here at LHC. I don't feel questioned or condemned about my hair choice. My hair or long hair in general isn't on any one's mind but mine.

My advice is if you are feeling a prejudice against your hair, just don't talk about it. Don't bring the subject up. If asked about it, make your reply short and to the point. Don't elaborate. Keep it vague. Don't talk about the different (as in LHC different) things you do. Hair talk will bore most people to sleep. If you wear your hair up a lot most people won't realize how long it is.

True Carolyn! I will NEVER bring up my hair again,or allow it to be a topic of
conversation....thats what happened to me and now Im growing again. I guess
I had a "learning experience",and now Ive learned,Im growing my hair and have
my hair for ME. I dont care what anyone outside of my husband(who supports me)
says. I say pooey on them. End of story! :)

[DMARTINEZ]

That is all well and good for those of you who live where you are not challenged, but many of us must occasionally defend our turf when it comes to our hair, with friends, family or both. However, like you I mainly don't talk about it and keep it up in public most of the time. They may or may not like what I do with it but that at least cuts back on the critical questions.

I wish this wasnt so MemSahib :( Why should we have to defend our turf....I cant recall
myself ever telling anyone how to wear their hair,why do others do this? I just find it so
rude. The only ones I try to please are God,my spouse and myself. Ive just learned this
the hard way. ;)

[Redheaded Raven]

Me too, Spidermom. I learned early on, that most people don't have an interest in my hair or hair in general, and only a passing interest in their own. So I don't talk about it. I don't try to spread the LHC type of long hair love out there. My hair is a private little hobby that I share with like minded friends here at LHC. I don't feel questioned or condemned about my hair choice. My hair or long hair in general isn't on any one's mind but mine.

My advice is if you are feeling a prejudice against your hair, just don't talk about it. Don't bring the subject up. If asked about it, make your reply short and to the point. Don't elaborate. Keep it vague. Don't talk about the different (as in LHC different) things you do. Hair talk will bore most people to sleep. If you wear your hair up a lot most people won't realize how long it is.


That is all well and good for those of you who live where you are not challenged, but many of us must occasionally defend our turf when it comes to our hair, with friends, family or both. However, like you I mainly don't talk about it and keep it up in public most of the time. They may or may not like what I do with it but that at least cuts back on the critical questions.
I only answer direct questions but I have to defend my hair all of the time. Especially at work, that is part of the reason that I am covering more, always at work and more elsewhere as well. Many seem to feel that they have to touch and fondle and even pull and threaten my hair! I have had to threaten someone before they would leave my hair alone when they threatened to cut it all off. They grabbed my braid with scissors in their hand and threatened to cut it all off! All because they thought I should have short hair! Like it was any of their business! They were a coworker not a friend even, so they had no rights as far as I was concerned. This was not an isolated incidence.

So I get it, and I am right there with you on fighting for your goals!
:rockerdud :thumbsup:

[JamieLeigh]

Very well-said, Rach! I love to see people flying in the face of popular opinion and doing what THEY like themselves. There is nothing wrong with having your own opinion and expressing it loudly.

It is more difficult for some of us than for others. Some, like me, have a pretty thick skin and comments go unnoticed. If I've ever been challenged about why my hair is long, I answered to my own satisfaction, and I don't remember the conversations. :p

On the other side of the table, the only issue I've had with anyone who "admires" my hair, for as far back as I can remember, is what happened last week on Facebook. A guy in my friends list who has always openly admired my hair asked my permission to create a Facebook group centered around my hair growth, and ostensibly to inspire other females to grow long. I said no, I'm not comfortable with that, and I don't want to send the message that short hair isn't ok too. He did it anyway, and the next day I had an invitation to the group in my email inbox. The group had my name in the title, and various photos of my hair. So I reported the group, and took other steps to prevent him from seeing my photos on Facebook. I don't care what other people say/think of my hair, everyone is free to think what he/she chooses, and we can't control everyone. But to ask my permission and then go ahead and do it anyway after I said no was wrong.

And that sort of thing is what puts a lot of people off of either growing long, or being so public about their growth. Personally, I love my hair, and I will probably be posting more photos to mark my journey - to me, it's fun having something physical I can finally feel good about, because I've had appearance issues for years. As for the "stalker" type people, I really don't care as long as no one is abusing my photos like that guy did. Because comments just roll off my back like water and everyone is welcome to his/her own opinion. The only way to avoid it is not to put yourself or your photos out there. And I'm confident enough, and proud of myself for accomplishing something that I wanted, to put those out there. :twocents:

[above_rubies]

I have had to threaten someone before they would leave my hair alone when they threatened to cut it all off. They grabbed my braid with scissors in their hand and threatened to cut it all off! All because they thought I should have short hair! Like it was any of their business! They were a coworker not a friend even, so they had no rights as far as I was concerned. This was not an isolated incidence.

So I get it, and I am right there with you on fighting for your goals!
:rockerdud :thumbsup:

Them's fightin words. Let me at 'em! :boxer:

[Redheaded Raven]

Them's fightin words. Let me at 'em! :boxer:
Awww thanks for the support!

I don't know what this persons problem was, but I had to take my bun down once at work because a patient grabbed it and it was coming down.

From that moment on, until I threatened her back, she kept on me about cutting my hair. :shrug: She was obsessive about it really. It was creepy.:rolleyes:

[marikamt]

I found all of the above so sad!!!! I am lucky... I have not experienced any negativity toward my hair at all, although I am only approaching waist so not extremely long. I do live in a town though where there is a "live and let live" attitude, a lot of free-spirits and hippies, so I am sure there are way more interesting things for those who wish to stick their nose in other peoples business than my hair......

I have to say I am a bit dumbfounded that people find anyone elses hair (or personal style) to be ANY of their business........

[rach]

it's an interesting mix of responses . some have, and some have not had issues.
i know personally with friends of mine who go out most nights (most my age don't have a family to tie them down) are out to look good :cool: and they feel the need to give me "makeover suggestions" and my hair is always pointed out as a instant quick fix idea :rolleyes:
oh and my henna and indigo has often been refereed to as cow patt :confused: - thats what happens when you help someone who can't get there chemical dye to stay (she loves the colour in her hair funny enough)


now Ive learned,Im growing my hair and have my hair for ME. I dont care what anyone outside of my husband(who supports me)
says. I say pooey on them. End of story! :)
:thumbsup: i'm with you there

JamieLeigh, admittedly , you did come to mind when i was posting this also. i'm glad that situation had been resolved - but yes creepy indeed.

Redheaded Raven- i'm glad you were able to stand up for yourself, that was totally uncalled for by your coworker.

[Feng-Shui]

I agree with Spidermom and Carolyn.

Most humans notice only an error if their hair are already completely destroyed.

The interest lasts only short time to the hair is again better.
They look for fast healing by a magic product.

I think if I it created LHC to find then to be able other humans also.
They must apply only the will in addition something to change.

If they this will do not apply then are their priorities at other places than those of the members with LHC.

They are therefore however no bad humans.

Their interests are simply only different than my for example.

I fight only for a my goal and I am with it enough busily.

I do not have to save the world.

With good example precede is sufficient.

If I change then change also my surrounding field automatically.

Many humans do heavily some time.

Remain strongly and going you steadfastly their way further.

[violeteyes]

My friends just stared at me blankly when I told them I was never going to use any heat styling on my hair ever again. At first, I tried to explain to people who just sat around and complained about why their hair looked fried and damaged what they needed to do to help their hair, but most people will just keep doing exactly what they're doing, bad habits and all. That's why I come here and talk about hair :)

[Rentlle]

I really love that piece of writing..
it's all sooo true. I can recognise many of the things you write (all?)
Our society can be so rejecting against things that are not overall-seen.
While tv-commercials are speaking about "easy-longhair" , "never breakage again" most ppl don't get far by just using those products..

I can only say: thank you LHC, for that.. All these people here, they are a large support on growing hair and not feeling weird...:)