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julliams
November 5th, 2009, 05:41 AM
I looked back on some photos of myself from 2006 and noticed that I have had roughly the same hair length for the last 3 years. It seems I keep going back for the same hair cut, but each time I'm hoping for a new look. I guess that's what you call "stuck in a rut". The hairdressers keep cutting the same silly layers in there as if it's all they know how to do. Gotta get rid of the layers!

I'm sure I've spent a couple of hundred dollars there and all I've ended up with is the same look. Imagine how much length I would have had if I'd let it grow! :doh:

myrrhmaiden
November 5th, 2009, 05:59 AM
Me too. It feels like I've had shoulder length-ish hair forever, and I hate that length on me. I kept telling my hairdresser I just wanted trims, that my goal was to grow long. Looking back, I can see why I felt so frustrated waiting for it to grow. His "trims" always took me back to shoulder. I haven't gone to a hairdresser in a year and finally I am at APL. It feels so good to have made visible progress at long last. Good luck on your growing journey. You have gorgeous hair, it's going to to look stunning at length.

pepperminttea
November 5th, 2009, 06:16 AM
I did this for a few years too. Every time I'd tell the stylist "I'm trying to grow it" but each time she'd cut in my old layers, feather the front, and take it back to shoulder length. It's been a couple of years, and I still haven't gotten rid of the old layers yet (the shortest are three inches shorter than my main length).

She always blow-dried and straightened it too though (bleh), so I suppose I should've just learnt to say no. :o

HerbalKarma
November 5th, 2009, 08:06 AM
Same thing used to happen to me. Hairdressers will tell you that you need to 'maintain' every 6 wks. Sure, this is if you want top tip locks & only if you don't want to 'grow'. Otherwise the bear minimum (say 1/4 - 1/2") every 12 wks is a better option. In my opinion hair stays healthier & grows better this way and you won't lose your length ! Make sure you just tell them you want straight all round also, otherwise they will try to cut in some fancy layers whilst they are there which will deter from the growing process. Try to find a 'long hair' hairdresser (normally those who have long hair themselves)& they are usually more understanding.

spidermom
November 5th, 2009, 08:24 AM
It might help to show your stylist a picture of hair at your goal and be firm that you want only the wispiest/driest tip ends trimmed off because you have a lot of growing to do. If that doesn't work, you need a new stylist. There's nothing wrong with just letting it grow and grow, either, although I prefer the trimmed and well-kempt look for my own hair. (P.S. - for the first 5 years of growing my hair, my stylist trimmed my hair every 6 to 8 weeks, and it grew 2 feet longer in that time. That's not impressive growth, but it's not true that if you get frequent trims then your hair won't grow longer. It's the amount that gets trimmed off, not the fact that you're getting trims.)

jivete
November 5th, 2009, 09:05 AM
Me too. It feels like I've had shoulder length-ish hair forever, and I hate that length on me. I kept telling my hairdresser I just wanted trims, that my goal was to grow long. Looking back, I can see why I felt so frustrated waiting for it to grow. His "trims" always took me back to shoulder. I haven't gone to a hairdresser in a year and finally I am at APL. It feels so good to have made visible progress at long last.

I had this problem too, for my entire 20's. I really thought my hair couldn't grow longer. It wasn't until I found my way here that my hair even made it to APL. Now it's at BSL+ and on the way to waist.

JamieLeigh
November 5th, 2009, 09:12 AM
This is one reason I don't let anyone else trim my hair. I know exactly what I want, and it saves heartache in the end. :flower: You just have to learn to say "no" to outside manipulation!

trolleypup
November 5th, 2009, 09:21 AM
Oh, heh! I thought this was going to be another terminal length thread!

Growing out from shoulder length has to be the most difficult (or, at least, it was for me)...not long enough to do anything with or put it up neatly, so no way of hiding the perceived shagginess. I'm just glad that my hair was in pretty good shape, so I could just grow it out without worrying about trimming splits and all. No cutting...or at the very least, no bangs or layers!

Good luck with the growing!

trolleypup
November 5th, 2009, 09:25 AM
This is one reason I don't let anyone else trim my hair. I know exactly what I want, and it saves heartache in the end. :flower: You just have to learn to say "no" to outside manipulation!
I think it is a hard transition from the 6weekly routine to very restricted trims or no cutting...especially hard when it is still short enough that you can't really do it yourself.

Angela_Rose
November 5th, 2009, 11:27 AM
Sounds like it's time to either get a new "stylist" who will take off what you ask for instead of lopping your locks off at her discretion, or learn to self-trim (hard on shorter lengths!), or just let it grow, grow, grow. Good luck!

Some members on here report having good luck just going to a barber instead of a fancypants stylist- I've never been to one myself, though I hear that barbers tend to be a bit more straightforward and willing to do what you ask them to do.

pinchbeck
November 5th, 2009, 11:34 AM
Well, your bouncy hair looks amazing! May I suggest you stop getting your hair cut in order to let it gain length? I haven't read other replies, but am sure people have said you can trim the length and dust the layers so they can catch up to your length.

Since you hair looks healthy you should wait at least six months before getting any kind of trim.

heatherdazy
November 6th, 2009, 08:08 PM
Definitely go longer in between cuts and saying you want to grow it out isn't enough for the stylist to automatically know you are also growing out the layers, you must make a point of visually showing them how much hair you want off the ends and either ask them to just dust the layers, or to leave them alone completely. You might also mention that you almost didn't want to come in because you were worried about getting too much cut off.

If they still can't get it right, find someone else.

Dars
November 6th, 2009, 08:16 PM
I felt the same way for a couple of years, it's incredibly frustrating. :flower: I finally just said n-o and stopped going. Perhaps you'd be interested in self trimming?

hanne jensen
November 7th, 2009, 02:57 AM
Do you have a SO who you can trust with your hair? My DH dusts me whenever I ask him to.
A good pair of hair scissors is a lot cheaper than fancy salons.
I wear my hair up all the time, so I really don't care if it's a little crooked.

julliams
November 7th, 2009, 03:28 AM
Actually I only go to the hairdresser every 6 months. I think this is part of the problem for me. I spend 6 months growing and then I end up cutting it all off because I'm bored with it.

I wasn't actually seriously growing it at all in that time the way I am now. I didn't really mean that the hairdressers were doing anything particularly wrong , I just meant that I kept going in with the idea that I would have a totally different style and I just kept getting the same thing. I think it's because hairdressers don't really know what to do with curly hair. They always make hair straight and their styles are based on how it will look straight. My last hairdresser (who is curly haired herself) said that the style I have is pretty much the only thing I can have which I thought was a bit ridiculous. So basically if your hair has wave or curl, all you can have is long layers - according to her.

I'd really like to find a hairdresser who is a member here, understands how to cut curly hair, who lives close to me and doesn't overcharge. Possible???? Anything's possible. Hey, wait a minute - that could be me if I did self trim - LOL. I'm not sure my husband would be interested enough to cut my hair and I'm such a perfectionist he would have to be GOOD.

Juliette

DARKMARTIAN
November 7th, 2009, 03:34 AM
For the longest time it seemed like my hair wasnt growing but I will admit that im way overdue for a trim and usually go for at least a year between them......But the other day I did see that its to an area on my back that I didnt seem to notice before...right about the top of my ....um....."bum"???.......

Soooo........guess there is still hope....

rach
November 7th, 2009, 05:37 AM
This is one reason I don't let anyone else trim my hair. I know exactly what I want, and it saves heartache in the end. :flower: You just have to learn to say "no" to outside manipulation!
S&D and Feye's self trim if you want a particular shape, these methods are worth a shot in can help you break the cycle and keep the ends happy. and invest in some decent Convex Edge scissors :D
Also leaving it alone can bring a "new" look in no time....... :flower:

julliams
November 7th, 2009, 05:48 AM
Do you need super long hair to do a self trim? Mine is between APL and BSL so I'm not sure how to get my hands around there let alone cut it. I'll look for the link and check it out.

Juliette

rach
November 7th, 2009, 05:52 AM
from APL i can't see why not ..........
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=146 shows my method and Feye's link to do different hem line shapes.

Lucky
November 7th, 2009, 06:41 AM
I can relate, I always tend to go back to the same hair cut when I get frustrated with growing my hair out - which is probably why 4 years after joining TLHC I'm *still* not at my goal. But, live and learn, right?!
Here's to happy growing! :)

pilateschick7
November 7th, 2009, 08:41 AM
I am a vote for a barber shop. It seems much more straightforward and less stressful. :)

Tovah
November 7th, 2009, 08:55 AM
I haven't cut my hair since the beginning of June. Because it was going into summer, I thought that by putting a few long layers in my hair, I could just let it curl without it looking too wild. Well, that didn't work out and now I'm paying the price. My hair is just about collar bone length now and I am deathly afraid of going back to the salon for a trim. I have only gone for coloring-leaving with wet hair.

My daughter is coming home for Thanksgiving. She has always had long hair and I usually trimmed it for her. This year she can reciprocate and dust the ends for me. Is this a beginning of a new era in my life?

If she's too nervous, the barber shop alternative seems most attractive.

julliams
November 8th, 2009, 04:49 AM
Thanks for the link Rach. Your method looks good. I will try it out when I need to.

At this stage I don't have any split ends so I will ride this wave until I spot my first and I will only cut then.

slz
November 8th, 2009, 05:25 AM
I haven't cut my hair since the beginning of June.
(...)
My daughter is coming home (...) she can (...) dust the ends for me.

There's no real need for any dusting at that point, especially if your hair is collarbone length : this is all quite new hair, it shouldn't have had time to get any damage. Well except if you blatantly mistreat it that is :D (blow frying, bleach, etc) , in which case you should stop anyway !

I am personnally pondering the need for a (very light) trim in the near future (like, beginning 2010). Which would make 12 months between trims, and this for ends that are quite a few years old .... hmmm, to trim or not to trim ....

jojo
November 10th, 2009, 06:00 PM
Do you need super long hair to do a self trim? Mine is between APL and BSL so I'm not sure how to get my hands around there let alone cut it. I'll look for the link and check it out.

Juliette
I started cutting my own hair at 18", these days I have found a long hair hairdresser who just cuts the ends for me.