too much hair attention?

[Schnee]

Is there such a thing, many of you will ask? ;)

Maybe it is just a bit of spring grumpiness on my part, but I'm getting tired of people staring at my hair, and even compliments bother me nowadays. Even with a plain 3 strand braid people tend to stare (and whisper...), and with my now tripple dutch braid bun, just forget it.... Yes, it's nice that people like my hair, but just now I really could go for a boring bob... :p

Whoever said that long hair is anonymous and that people hide behinde there hair is so, so wrong. Really, HOW can I hide behinde my hair?;)

[WritingPrincess]

First off, please don't cut your beautiful hair that short. :tmi: That said, if you need a change, implement the 2 week rule and maybe not cut all at once. If you want to try a "boring bob", cuddledumplin has a neat way to make it look like you have a bob. Here. (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?p=43318&mode=threaded#post43318)

[Lady Godiva]

Ah the benefit of updos! :cheese:

I walk around knowing my secret is well hidden in plain sight right on my head. I love it! :inlove:

[Schnee]

First off, please don't cut your beautiful hair that short. :tmi: That said, if you need a change, implement the 2 week rule and maybe not cut all at once. If you want to try a "boring bob", cuddledumplin has a neat way to make it look like you have a bob. Here. (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?p=43318&mode=threaded#post43318)


Hihihi, I have no intention of cutting. I was just venting some annoyance. ;)

[spidermom]

It sounds like it's time to perfect a few length-hiding hair styles.

[Schnee]

Ah the benefit of updos! :cheese:

I walk around knowing my secret is well hidden in plain sight right on my head. I love it! :inlove:

Well, you see, updos don't work!:rolleyes: Really, my hair is always up, in a braid, bun or something when I'm out. It just doesn't help... people are very strange around here. ;)

[Mary <><]

It just doesn't help... people are very strange around here. ;)

I know exactly wat you mean. I do not have hair nearly as long as you do, but for the life of me I will never understand why everyone else concerns themselves so much with the way another person chooses to look. It is maddening! That said, take the stares and whispers as the highest compliment. They are looking in AWE, believe me.

[heidihug]

And I've vented about my hair being ignored! The only comments I've gotten in the last year are [with nose wrinkled and a slight frown] "Is that all yours...?", as if I have extensions or something and am 'faking it'. Or guys who tug on my braid - my boss's boss just did it yesterday! I had vowed to haul off and wallup the next person that did that, but he only gave it a gentle little tug and, well - he's my boss's boss! People where I live have very little idea how to respond to long hair, it is so very out of the ordinary.

I'd guess there probably is a happy medium for most of us LH's - some compliments every once in a while, no negative comments or stupid behavior would be nice.

[brok3nwings]

oh i would probably be one of those people that are bothering with compliments ihihi :P your hair is gourgeous what can you do ? Do nothing !! Ever :)

[willowcandra]

Ah the benefit of updos! :cheese:

I walk around knowing my secret is well hidden in plain sight right on my head. I love it! :inlove:


me too. It's like a concealed weapon lol.

[willowcandra]

Well, you see, updos don't work!:rolleyes: Really, my hair is always up, in a braid, bun or something when I'm out. It just doesn't help... people are very strange around here. ;)

You obviousely just live in a place where people like big buns:D

[Rain]

Whoever said that long hair is anonymous and that people hide behinde there hair is so, so wrong. Really, HOW can I hide behinde my hair?;)

No kidding! I don't wear my hair down a lot, partially because I don't love the unwanted attention. People stare at me anyway but they're a lot less likely to stick a hand in my cleavage than they are to grab my hair, you know? I just wear it up. People have no idea how long it is. I had it down at home last weekend and my own daughter was surprised by the length.

[lora410]

wrap you hair around you like cousing it. Now that will get some stares or id tell them to take a pict it last longer :D I would love to have your hair!!!

[Curlsgirl]

Yeah it's like one of those things that at first it is so nice for people to say things and compliment you and stare but ANYTHING can get old after a while! I don't get that but I have with other things so I can understand. It can be VERY annoying! I compare it with having a cast on your leg and at first it is nice that people are concerned and then the 100,000th person that makes a comment steps on that one last nerve and from then on it's all downhill LOL!

OR, say you have one of those names that's the same or close to a famous person and for the millionth time someone asks if you are related. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO for cryin' out loud, I just have the same name and I EVEN HAD IT FIRST! :draw:

(Okay I have GOT to cut down on the caffeine) shudder:

[MeganS]

Oh, yes. I can think of several similar examples.

1) My name is pronounced with a long e. I am genuinely shocked when I tell someone my name and the conversation does NOT go as follows:

"My name is Megan [Meegan]."
"Megan? [Meh-gan]"
"No, Mee-gan."

2) I used to play cello. Every single time I carried it in public: "Bet you wish you'd played the piccolo, eh?"

3) "Is your hair naturally curly?"
"Yes."
"Wow. Do you know how much money people pay to get their hair to look like that?"

[Schnee]

You obviousely just live in a place where people like big buns:D

Hm.. that tought is sort of scary...:eek: Maybe it's a Heidi-thing but people here loves braids. My most comlimented hairstyle ever? Single 3 strand braid...


No kidding! I don't wear my hair down a lot, partially because I don't love the unwanted attention. People stare at me anyway but they're a lot less likely to stick a hand in my cleavage than they are to grab my hair, you know? I just wear it up. People have no idea how long it is. I had it down at home last weekend and my own daughter was surprised by the length.

Yes, I know! What's with the touching? Luckily that doesn't happen often, and when it does it usually someone I know, but not well. Somehow, if they know my name and talk to during class/breaks that it's enough for them to feel they are allowed to touch me.:luke:


Yeah it's like one of those things that at first it is so nice for people to say things and compliment you and stare but ANYTHING can get old after a while! I don't get that but I have with other things so I can understand. It can be VERY annoying! I compare it with having a cast on your leg and at first it is nice that people are concerned and then the 100,000th person that makes a comment steps on that one last nerve and from then on it's all downhill LOL!

OR, say you have one of those names that's the same or close to a famous person and for the millionth time someone asks if you are related. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO for cryin' out loud, I just have the same name and I EVEN HAD IT FIRST! :draw:

(Okay I have GOT to cut down on the caffeine) shudder:

Yep, it's exactly one of those things. :D

[young&reckless]

I have had to leave places because I couldn't take it and my hair isn't even that long. I am forever yelling in the bar "the next person to pet me like a dog is going to get hit!"

This goes along with being only 5 foot 2, pat pat pat "arn't you cute":draw:

[Iylivarae]

Hm.. that tought is sort of scary...:eek: Maybe it's a Heidi-thing but people here loves braids. My most comlimented hairstyle ever? Single 3 strand braid...


I just think that is caused by your thick braid... most braids I see here are a lot thinner (mine too).
You could also live in a very strange place, because I see english braids quite often here...

[Violeta]

I can somewhat relate to your “problem’. I also get people coming to me and asking about my hair but I like when women do it … now, guys.. that is another story. I get allot of guys coming up to me “complimenting” me for the hair and then BAM “are u single?” :rolleyes: That bothers me a bit so I tend to have my hair up as well when I go out.

Now, I would not cut it if I were you, your hair is just glorious :o

[heidihug]

Somehow, if they know my name and talk to during class/breaks that it's enough for them to feel they are allowed to touch me.

No kidding! That's how I feel about the braid tug thing. Would a guy (it's always a guy) like it if I came up to them and tugged on their beard, mustache or some other, very sensitive part of their body ;)!!!??? I go from calm to furious instantly when anyone who is not my mom, sister or husband touches my hair.

[Kirin]

hahaha, my hair isnt long enough by a longshot (no pun intended) to get any comments on........ though, i henna and i get this all the time:

"Is that real??".
"What?".
"Your hair!"
"My hair is real"
"No no the color".
"its henna".
"Yes, but is it real?"

I swear, no one around here knows what henna is LOL, like at all.

I get the same thing with my name as Megan.

"Whats your name?"
"Kirin" Pronounced Keer-EN".
"Karen?"


ugh lol.

[heidihug]

Kirin, I love your name, and would never mispronounce it. My niece's name is Keren, and she gets called "Karen" ALL the TIME! Her name is pronounced "kur-EN", but no one seems to listen when she corrects them. She's had people tell her that she mis-spelled her own name! Sheesh.

Whatever happened to courtesy and politeness? My mother always told me that, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

[Schnee]

No kidding! That's how I feel about the braid tug thing. Would a guy (it's always a guy) like it if I came up to them and tugged on their beard, mustache or some other, very sensitive part of their body ;)!!!??? I go from calm to furious instantly when anyone who is not my mom, sister or husband touches my hair.

Actually, I find that women are much more likely to touch my hair without asking than men. Men never touch it and if they do the always ask first (except the boys in school who stole my hair elastics, but different story.. ;) ).

[MeganS]

*nod* I have definitely been accused of mispronouncing my own name, as well. It's my name! Shouldn't I be the one who best knows how it should be pronounced?

[heidi w.]

Ah the benefit of updos! :cheese:

I walk around knowing my secret is well hidden in plain sight right on my head. I love it! :inlove:

What she said. Most have no clue my hair is this much or this long.
heidi w.

[heidi w.]

No kidding! That's how I feel about the braid tug thing. Would a guy (it's always a guy) like it if I came up to them and tugged on their beard, mustache or some other, very sensitive part of their body ;)!!!??? I go from calm to furious instantly when anyone who is not my mom, sister or husband touches my hair.

Wow, people are ballsy.

No one would touch me! They'd get their hand slapped.

Only little kiddies feel the tippy ends sometimes. I always smile indulgently. I want them to have a positive memory of the long haired lady...that lady with the tail.

heidi w.

[jtl45]

I tend to keep my hair in a braid or pony tail as I get comments and lots of looks when its down! Most are always very kind, but still it gets old!
Jim

[angelthadiva]

You obviousely just live in a place where people like big buns:D

This made me laugh! I like my buns little, personally...To each his/her own I guess! :D

[misspriss]

People touch my hair, and it's not even that long. Usually guys that I work with. Think they can just tug a ponytail because it's there. I usually don't mind... But no touching now!

[OhioLisa]

Ah the benefit of updos! :cheese:

I walk around knowing my secret is well hidden in plain sight right on my head. I love it! :inlove:

My thoughts exactly. I like it being my little secret. :D

[EdG]

Schnee - you have beautiful hair! Do not cut.

I know exactly what you mean about receiving too much attention. It is a problem. It has become impossible for me to go out in public without causing :bigeyes: or :ohmy: or :agape:
(I've yet to cause a :thud: in real life. I'll let the board know if that happens) :D

I second the suggestions about updos or tying up one's hair. I'll have to do that myself.
Ed

[backtonature]

:shrug: I think your hair is beautiful, people probably stare out of amazement at least thats why I would be looking. It truly is beautiful :D Kind of like looking at a really cute baby in the store you just look because there so cute, but of course you'd never touch someone elses baby, so I'm not sure why complete strangers would deem it okay to touch someones hair they don't even know.

[eresh]

I get tired sometimes answering the same questions over and over again.
"How long did it take to grow", "Where did you buy that hairpiece"(referring to my snakebun :-s does it look that fake??)
"Why don't you cut it" "who does your braids?", "don't you spend too much money on products" etc etc
Do you know how many people actually dare asking "How do you go to the toilet?!" Ehm...same as you? :rolleyes:

Maybe we should have tshirts printed with the questions on the front and the answers on the back and just turn our backs and point...
Oh wait...our hair is covering it ....:rolleyes::)


When you really don't want comments, perhaps wear a headcovering/scarf.

[Schnee]

Maybe we should have tshirts printed with the questions on the front and the answers on the back and just turn our backs and point...
Oh wait...our hair is covering it ....:rolleyes::)


Moahahaha, that would have been funny if I ever got that question... The most asked Q is actually how long it takes to wash and dry my hair. Once I said "Oh not long at all, just a couple of hours" And the two elderly ladies asking almost died laughing, not really what they considered a short time...


*horrible at spelling*

[Schnee]

Of, I really would get the staring and comments if I ever wore my hair down, which I never do. Today I wore a trippel dutch braided bun (similar to bun in photo album), but still people stare. Oh, and the sweet cashier complimented and said it looked cool. :)

Ok, maybe I need a plain updo? ;)

[eresh]

Moahahaha, that would have been funny if I ever got that question... The most asked Q is actually how long it takes to wash and dry my hair. Once I said "Oh not long at all, just a couple og hours" And the two elderly ladies asking almost died laughing, not really what they considered a short time...


Hahaha *stores in memory* good future answer.
See how people react.

[Elenna]

Schnee - your hair is awesome. Maybe, you're tired of being a goddess?

[Ella]

I'm looking forward to some attention! Rise above it. Your hair is gorgeous

[Elle]

Whoever said that long hair is anonymous and that people hide behinde there hair is so, so wrong. Really, HOW can I hide behinde my hair?;)
Whoever said this never had long luxurious hair like yours, Schnee. :grin:

I don't know about spring grumpiness, because I feel like this on and off throughout the year. Some days I don't mind the comments/questions, but there are times when I'd rather be left alone. :roll:

[Anje]

Es tut mir leid, Schnee. I feel like a culprit, since I know I'd definitely compliment your hair if I ever saw you in person. Your braid looks like about 9 of my ponytails braided together (about 3x as thick and 3x as long).

I think you need some effective length-hiding styles, so people cannot marvel at bun size or count the number of wraps.... Log rolls seem particularly effective for this, from the pictures I've seen around here. It takes a LOT of experience to tell how much hair Lady Godiva crams into one of those.

[Anje]

"Is that real??".
"What?".
"Your hair!"
"My hair is real"
"No no the color".
"its henna".
"Yes, but is it real?"
No, it's a figment of your imagination!

Interestingly, I met a Karen, pronounced Car-en, recently.

[squiggyflop]

ok so i dont mind complements but i hate questions about my hair color... i feel like a fraud when i say that the color is henna and they always comment on how natural it looks... i used to get compliments in the summer on my naturally reddish brown hair... i dont mind questions on my updos exept for sock buns... i just hate to admit that my hair isnt that bright a red and that there is a rolled up sock in my hair..... after reading this thread i feel weird about complimenting people... i saw a woman in my local stop and shop with beautiful classic length hair that she was wearing loose... i told her that her hair was very pretty and she asked me if my hair was naturally that red... i replied that it was henna and she said it looked natural on my skin tone... what if i was bothering her.... i feel so anxious now... what if she walked away and thought ugh i cant even wear my hair down to go buy milk without people bothering me
i dont really mind people touching my hair as much as i hate it when people touch my body.. i always hated it when my teachers would touch my shoulder when i did a good job on something...

[nate]

I have the particular color of red hair that seems to attract a ton of attention. Like, really bright, flame red. So I got a lot of attention (especially as a kid when it was even brighter), most of it positive. But by the time I was about 8 years old I was already tired of it.

Now that it's longer I actually get fewer comments. People are scared of men with long hair.

Contrary to popular opinion, you cannot burn yourself by touching red hair. Nor is it the color of carrots. (Mine isn't, anyway.) And it does not make people "feisty." And no, I am not donating it to you. Not even just the color. And no, I don't have any recommendations on how to achieve the color for yourself (this is the weirdest one -- why would a natural redhead know what red dyes are good?). And I'm not Irish. Not everyone with red hair is Irish. Yes, my parents had red hair. Yes, my brother has red hair. No, we're not twins.

Gah!

[Schnee]

I don't know about spring grumpiness, because I feel like this on and off throughout the year. Some days I don't mind the comments/questions, but there are times when I'd rather be left alone. :roll:

You're right, it's not always spring grumpiness, but now I notice it really well because tourist season started... ;) I'll survive, just needed to vent.



Es tut mir leid, Schnee. I feel like a culprit, since I know I'd definitely compliment your hair if I ever saw you in person. Your braid looks like about 9 of my ponytails braided together (about 3x as thick and 3x as long).


If it's you, then it's ok. ;)


what if i was bothering her.... i feel so anxious now... what if she walked away and thought ugh i cant even wear my hair down to go buy milk without people bothering me

Don't worry, you're allowed to compliment. ;) Just don't push the matter if the person is obviously busy. For my part I wish people wouldn't stop me when I'm running...


Contrary to popular opinion, you cannot burn yourself by touching red hair. Nor is it the color of carrots. (Mine isn't, anyway.) And it does not make people "feisty." And no, I am not donating it to you. Not even just the color. And no, I don't have any recommendations on how to achieve the color for yourself (this is the weirdest one -- why would a natural redhead know what red dyes are good?). And I'm not Irish. Not everyone with red hair is Irish. Yes, my parents had red hair. Yes, my brother has red hair. No, we're not twins.

Gah!

What? Red hairs don't burn? And you're not irish? :confused:

:p Just joking

I've started to suggest people grow their own hair every time they "ask" for some of mine... It's easy, just don't cut it!:cool:

[Anlbe]

My stepsister has classic length pale blonde hair. When she doesn't want to attract attention she just wears it under her coat or jumper.

[n3m3sis42]

I don't have enough hair yet (or maybe it's just not pretty enough) to get that a lot, but I did have a similar experience with ear-piercings. I had eleven in my left ear before I took them out a few years ago (professional reasons).

My husband and I would make jokes about it, because everywhere we went, this would be the conversation:

Random Person: "How many piercings do you have in that ear?"

Me: "Eleven."

Random Person: "Did it hurt?"

I mean, I know I chose to do that to my ear and I know that people didn't mean anything by it, so I was generally friendly when answering the exact same question over and over again. But I promise you, I didn't do it (at least primarily) for attention. I did it because I liked the way it looked.

I mostly didn't mind, but there were just some days I didn't want to have a conversation with everyone in the world about my earrings. :D

[n3m3sis42]

Do you know how many people actually dare asking "How do you go to the toilet?!" Ehm...same as you? :rolleyes:


Oh, lord... really???

The longest my hair has ever been so far is between waist and hip, so not super long. It didn't even occur to me that people would ask questions like that one. What are they thinking? It's not like it's growing out of your rear end!

[HeavenlyTresses]

I am totally with you Schnee. I realize it's a serious attention getter, and I always stop to answer questions but sometimes you just can't hide. Even though some people get on my nerves I have no plans to cut my hair.

My most asked question is "How long have you been growing it?" And you can hear people whispering behind you when you walk by. I walked into a restaurant the other day and a bunch of teenage boys were outside and all 8 of them said "Daammnn" and when I came out and one boy asked me if he could pull it and I thought "Sure you can pull it if I can punch you in the face." I would never do that of course but pulling my hair isn't an option :no:.

A lady in the store chased me down the aisle and started touching my hair and hugged me and called her boyfriend over to look at me. Okay, enough weirdness for the day now go away ok?

The weirdest thing ever was I went to a flea market and an older man, around 65 asked to touch it, then started rubbing it all over his face :bigeyes:. Oh my wow, fly your freak flag way out there!!! And I had my kids with me!! Try explaining that to a 6 and 8 yo!!

They also want to know who helps me brush, wash and braid it and when I tell them I did it myself I get the :agape:.

And I'm with Heidi W. about being being the nice long haired lady with the little kids. When I go to my kids school all the little girls want to touch it :).

[Schnee]

A lady in the store chased me down the aisle and started touching my hair and hugged me and called her boyfriend over to look at me. Okay, enough weirdness for the day now go away ok?


What? You met her too?;)

Luckily, most will just "ohh" and "ahhh", and ask questions, few will touch and if they do they're usually women. And sometimes it's just impossible to hide, really. My updos are BIG and tend to look complicated...

Well, at least they're not staring at my larger-than-average-boobies... :p

[Lady Godiva]

Eresh, regarding the question about using the toilet, simply reply that you let your hair fall into it. Of course! I mean, what else could we lame-brained longhairs possibly do? :uhh: What's that? Lift it up and pull it forward? Goodness, that never crossed my mind...! :rolling:

The weirdest thing ever was I went to a flea market and an older man, around 65 asked to touch it, then started rubbing it all over his face . Oh my wow, fly your freak flag way out there!!! And I had my kids with me!! Try explaining that to a 6 and 8 yo!!
Egads! :disgust: I've shared this before, but one time was wearing a braid at an outdoor band gig, and a tipsy woman asked to look at it, which was fine, but then she proceeded to put the tassel in her mouth. :bigeyes: Fortunately no children were around.

That's the problem with braids. They still catch too much attention. Total updos work the best, although they're not failsafe. Sometimes astute observers still figure it out and ask, but usually I reply back that it's interesting that they noticed...;)

Usually people's comments are positive and fun, but it's true that sometimes they're intrusive. Interrupting me after dark by yelling across the parking lot isn't a good idea. :shake:

[Katze]

I have to admit being envious. No, not of your discomfort at the attention...but of the attention itself. My hair isn't in a condition or of a length or type that people comment on. Perhaps it will never be. But I wish it were!

People DO ask silly questions a lot, granted - and some of your answers (the toilet...!) are perfect. When I used to do henna and walk around with it on me all the time, people would always ask if it were "real." Yeah, duh, of course - it's real henna! (and not a fake tattoo).

It seems like some of the comments people posted are simply the result of ignorance, surprise, or envy. Uninvited touching isn't excusable, but surprised or astounded comments about hair, or people asking curious (if stupid) questions, may in fact be due to the fact that your hair is just plain impressive!

I saw a woman the other day with hair very similar to mine in color and texture and frizziness, but with THICK ends at just-below-BSL. She had it down and it looked very impressive, even though, for LHC standards, it wasn't so long. I felt envy for those thick, non tapering ends and caught myself staring. I *almost* said something but was with mother-outlaw so I didn't, as she (mother-outlaw) was saying something to me at the time. But it was SOOO hard to tear my eyes away from that HAIR.

Maybe some of the comments are the result of a similar surprise, envy, or just curiosity? :)

[eresh]

What? You met her too?;)

Luckily, most will just "ohh" and "ahhh", and ask questions, few will touch and if they do they're usually women. And sometimes it's just impossible to hide, really. My updos are BIG and tend to look complicated...

Well, at least they're not staring at my larger-than-average-boobies... :p



This lady must get around a lot ;-)
I met her too, her boyfriend was with her again, dragged over to take a look.... (after she shouted in a high loud voice through the store)

Yes to children I'm always nice, I don't mind them asking questions or touching (with clean hands :p).

One time a guy at the trainstation asked my is that braid real? Yes...can you undo it for me? Errrr no... Can I touch it?
Uhm, alright, quickly...He also put it against his face :-s weirdness.
Then he followed me around like a puppy AND into the same bus as me, creepy, I went out of my way on a detour so I could be sure he didn't know where I live! Never seen him again, pfew. But that was scary.

[eresh]

Eresh, regarding the question about using the toilet, simply reply that you let your hair fall into it. Of course! I mean, what else could we lame-brained longhairs possibly do? :uhh: What's that? Lift it up and pull it forward? Goodness, that never crossed my mind...! :rolling:

Yes, gah, what are we, and they really mean it too when they ask this! :rolleyes:



Usually people's comments are positive and fun, but it's true that sometimes they're intrusive. Interrupting me after dark by yelling across the parking lot isn't a good idea. :shake:

Some teenagers (mostly girls) sometimes yell, eeewww look how long, I bet she wipes her *** with it too....:mad:
Some people...:shrug:....just plain rude

[Schnee]

It's a bit sad, but I do find that the negative feelings I get from too much hair attention make me hesitant about complimenting other peoples hair. As it is, I will only compliment if a natural situation arises, I won't stop people on the street or approach someone in a shop only to compliment their hair.

Katze, not to worry. You'ill get your share of attention soon, I'm sure. :)

[Lady Godiva]

It's a bit sad, but I do find that the negative feelings I get from too much hair attention make me hesitant about complimenting other peoples hair. As it is, I will only compliment if a natural situation arises, I won't stop people on the street or approach someone in a shop only to compliment their hair.
I relate, although in a store, I might. It really depends. Only if the situation lends itself will I compliment, and anymore I like my hair to be up and out of the way, so the entire focus is on that person and they don't mis-assume that I'm really looking for a return compliment. That happened once. He was a total jerk.

Some people are determined to misinterpret motives and tell themselves that you wear your hair down because you want compliments, so they resent you right off the bat. I've heard (and read) comments from ignorant, judgmental mouths that claim I'm "just about [my] hair" or worse, that I grew my hair long just to make everyone around me feel bad about themselves. Such crap says a lot more about their inner demons than about me. :rolleyes:


I have to admit being envious. No, not of your discomfort at the attention...but of the attention itself. My hair isn't in a condition or of a length or type that people comment on. Perhaps it will never be. But I wish it were!How ironic! I remember a recent photo of yours that caught me sitting here staring at your hair, thinking, "Wow!" Dayum, I should have said something. Shame on me. :doh:

[Altocumulus]

...or worse, that I grew my hair long just to make everyone around me feel bad about themselves.

Seriously? That's deranged.

I have yet to get the toilet remark, but when I do, I plan to respond with, "If I told you, I'd have to kill you" in a menacing tone. With luck, that will deter further questions.

[Schnee]

Some people are determined to misinterpret motives and tell themselves that you wear your hair down because you want compliments, so they resent you right off the bat. I've heard (and read) comments from ignorant, judgmental mouths that claim I'm "just about [my] hair" or worse, that I grew my hair long just to make everyone around me feel bad about themselves. Such crap says a lot more about their inner demons than about me. :rolleyes:


Yes, what IS that? Would I really let my hair grow just to get compliments or make others feel bad? No, I don't think so. But I used to get those type of mean hints before to. Not so much any more, new friends and more maturity on all parts. ;)

[heidihug]

Very interesting talk about people's motivations when commenting on others' hair. I can imagine getting compliments or criticism when out at a bar, where others are drinking, as people tend to blurt stuff out that they wouldn't normally. But, out in public, shouting to you, asking to touch it, or asking you to take it down - I would be shocked if that happened here. People are just too repressed. Thank goodness, I guess!

Just this morning a co-worker asked "When are you going to donate that?" Because I work pretty closely with her, I didn't go off on her like I felt like doing, I just explained politely that I don't intend to ever cut my hair short. I also told her that, if I ever did decide to cut, LoL has been pretty much shown to be a sham. And there are maybe one or two other charities that do accept donated hair, but most likely mine wouldn't make the grade, as I dye it every 3 or 4 months. [sigh] Why do I feel like people expect me to apologize for my appearence when they make a rude remark to me?

[kissedbyfyre]

This is the reason why I've gotten into the habit of keeping my hair contained. I have very red hair as well that packs a lot of shine. Even short it attracted a lot of attention but longer, I can't go out without attention. I've started to prefer buns as they tend to minimize the level of attention but even then I get asked questions. They usually start with the color, eventually move onto the thickness and length. Braids cause the "did you do that yourself?" question and if it's all my hair since they tend to be rather thick.

The questions don't bother me as much as the unwanted touching. It's not as bad when I'm out, but if I'm at club and it's down or back in braids I can't go through one night without some stranger coming up and either running their hands through the length of my hair or picking up my braids. I've lost count of how many times I've been chatting with a friend only to feel some random stranger touching my hair without even so much of a hello. I also get the comment that I'm all about my hair as well and that I've grown it out to such length to attract attention. With this color I don't need length to attract attention. I've noticed if I take it down because I need to readjust a bun, women around me start fussing with their hair.

It's really frustrating. It's gotten to the point where buns don't work as well either. They're either rather large, or unique looking so that also prompts the "how did you do that" question.

[Nevermore]

You might want to try these two hair-hiding 'dos:

http://www.dreamweaverbraiding.com/braids/lhtuck.htm

http://www.dreamweaverbraiding.com/braids/lhknot.htm

I haven't tried them myself, because my hair isn't nearly long enough, but they seem to do an admirable job of shortening long hair and the knot one would probably be seen as "average" long hair with some kind of fancy clip.

[walkinglady]

Well Schnee, your hair is probably the most gorgeous hair I've ever seen. Even when it's braided or in a bun you can tell there is a lot of it there and it is in great condition. It would be really hard for me to just walk past you without giving you a compliment or at the very least a double take. I'm terrible but I would love to touch it too! So if I ever get in your neck of the woods I might have to ask permission. Please don't say no!

[Schnee]

Well Schnee, your hair is probably the most gorgeous hair I've ever seen. Even when it's braided or in a bun you can tell there is a lot of it there and it is in great condition. It would be really hard for me to just walk past you without giving you a compliment or at the very least a double take. I'm terrible but I would love to touch it too! So if I ever get in your neck of the woods I might have to ask permission. Please don't say no!


As long as you ask nicely I might say yes. ;)

[CountessDeJager]

...or worse, that I grew my hair long just to make everyone around me feel bad about themselves. Such crap says a lot more about their inner demons than about me. :rolleyes:

So growing your hair is part of a crafty multiple-year plan to make others feel bad. :confused: :lol: That makes no sense at all. I forget, clearly those kind of people aren't thinking.

Schnee, your best bet is to find a nice hat that covers any updo. While you shouldn't have to choose to downplay your prominent hair that is the way the world works. :shrug:

Elizabeth

[Beatnik Guy]

Sometimes astute observers still figure it out and ask, but usually I reply back that it's interesting that they noticed...;)
Yes, it takes experienced long hair radar and a lot of study. 8)

[Schnee]

Schnee, your best bet is to find a nice hat that covers any updo. While you shouldn't have to choose to downplay your prominent hair that is the way the world works. :shrug:


Does that mean I have to go shopping for a "get-out-of-my-way-I-am-in-a-BAD-mood-and-don't-you-dare-compliment-my-hair"-hat? :cheese:

Oh, I I can already envision the face of a poor SA trying to find a hat big enough to cover my head and hair... I need to bring my camera.. :D

[zift]

Empathy on the attention here:D I got a lot of attention too and it's like that people try to create moments to approach and ask you questions. So that you cannot go to the bathroom without someone commenting. It should be an intimate place right? but no they have to say something...And some touch it at the bathroom too eek that's just disgusting,I hope they have washed their hands before!!!And sometimes you're innocently walking on the road and feel a tug on your hair and turn back and a weird lady is holding your hair admiring it. I ask myself what kind of a person will hold a passing by moving person from their hair and stop them to just pet it and admire it. They must have loved it very much. And once at the hospital I've got a lady run and come hug my hair and put it all over her face kissing and smelling it:sick: and she said I look and smelled like her daughter who was away.I met her several times at the same place the following days and she ran and hugeed me each time:lol: She must have missed her daughter very much.
And once a little gypsie girl just grabbed my hair from my back and kissed kissed kissed my hair several times and shouted to her friends to come see my hair:o
I think that if one can't handle attention they shouldn't wear their very long hair down.Because it's impossible to hide anywhere,let alone behind your hair:lol:
The most frequent questions are:
How long did it take to grow?
Have you ever cut your hair?
Is it real?Is it yours?
How do you wash/brush/dry it?
Isn't it heavy?
Isn't it hard to care for?
The most frequent comments:
It's so long(or more like OMG OMG WOW Look at THAT!!Can you believe it'S so LONG uuuuh ahhh whisper whisper uuuh ahhh more whisper* than comes other comments like *no wonder it takes ages to dry,it eats loads of shampoo,it drowns her in bed,it...:lol:)
It's so beautiful.
Hey rapunzel!
OHA(something like damn what's that)
Would you give it to me?(or some people are contempt with only the half,would you give half of it to me?)
You should cut it( some shows with hand from where)

I wear my hair down a lot and live in a country where long hair is much appreciated. But my buns don't take as much attention if not with sticks. I've never got a comment from a stranger when I had my hair up contained.
You might want to try head scarves or buff covered buns when you're bored of the exaggurated attention.;)

[dor3girl]

I think I would be one of those people staring, cause I would wish that MY hair could grow as long as yours! Mine hasn't quite reached my waist & it keeps getting split ends that I have to cut every week! Extremely long hair like yours is rare, and if you are over 40--people WILL stare or make comments, as if to get you to cut it or share your haircare secrets *shrug* You could always trim it to waist length--but people would probably still stare or comment. People are weird when it comes to hair.

[meichigo]

Or guys who tug on my braid - my boss's boss just did it yesterday! I had vowed to haul off and wallup the next person that did that, but he only gave it a gentle little tug and, well - he's my boss's boss!

Sounds like a harassment suit to me! It's the American way!

[harpgal]

Well Schnee, your hair is probably the most gorgeous hair I've ever seen. Even when it's braided or in a bun you can tell there is a lot of it there and it is in great condition. It would be really hard for me to just walk past you without giving you a compliment or at the very least a double take. I'm terrible but I would love to touch it too! So if I ever get in your neck of the woods I might have to ask permission. Please don't say no!
Schnee, I will agree with walkinglady. If I ever was so blessed to see you, I admit...I would stare. Your hair is beyond beautiful! People are attracted to beauty and the unusual. Updos are still the safest bet. With a pretty scarf over the updo, no one would know the difference.

When I wear my hair down (a rare occurrence) I am stared at. When I wear updos, most people do not even know that I have long hair.

[meichigo]

Some people are determined to misinterpret motives and tell themselves that you wear your hair down because you want compliments, so they resent you right off the bat. I've heard (and read) comments from ignorant, judgmental mouths that claim I'm "just about [my] hair" or worse, that I grew my hair long just to make everyone around me feel bad about themselves. Such crap says a lot more about their inner demons than about me. :rolleyes:

So growing your hair is part of a crafty multiple-year plan to make others feel bad. :confused: :lol:
I'm glad the Countess at least notices the huge flaw in that kind of thinking. Honestly, on what drugs are these people??


I wear my hair down a lot and live in a country where long hair is much appreciated.
Out of curiosity, in what country do you live?

Compared to the 'bar' that has been set in this forum, my hair isn't very long at all.... It fluctuates between a little longer than waist right after a trim and about tailbone (in a rather wispy way) when I'm at the end of my damage-tolerance rope. Anyway, so I don't get very compliments, at least from total strangers. I admit, I would love the attention, but even if I never saw another human being I would still want long hair for myself.

I did, however, get a lot of compliments when my hair was pink... I noticed that middle-aged to older women (a demographic you'd think would be disapproving) seemed to like it the most!

I think part of the problem is, as a rather fidgety person, I do mess around with my hair a lot in public. I should probably try to follow the Victorian etiquette rule: "A lady never fixes her appearance in public." If I would just let it be, either up or down, I suspect I'd get more attention. I don't mess with it to get attention, but I guess it's kind of like someone who makes a point of wearing really obvious designer labels.

When I was a high school freshman, I was on the swim team. One day before practice someone asked what my hair looked like underwater. Naturally it was braided at the time so it was nothing spectacular to look it, but it occurred to me shortly thereafter that a) he may have been flirting with me? and b) he probably meant when it was loose, which is admittedly very pretty underwater. Had I figured that out, I would've shown him, because it's impressive enough to be worth the tangles

[Anlbe]

I think people always wonder about any uncommon aspect of appearance and wonder about it, and some people think that if it's a positive aspect like beautiful hair, thiness, hight, they feel they can interrogate you.

[socks]

Yeah, I have to keep my hair up in a messy updo for my own sanity. If it's down, braided, or even just in a nicer updo, people always stop me to ask about it and I can never manage to get anything done.

[Schnee]

I've been really frustrated over too much hair attention lately, so I dug up this old thread instead of starting a new whining-thread. :p

Somehow it's "worse" than last year. Maybe because braids are in style now and people tend to notice them even more? I don't know what is is, I just can get any peace. Maybe there is something in the water?

And even more annoying, touching have defenitly increased! I hate that...

[JamieLeigh]

I think it probably could reach a fevered pitch and be too much for some people. But maybe I'm just used to all the attention by now. I've had long hair all of my life, and I've had it probably about 6-8 inches longer than what I've got right now...and it has never bothered me to receive a compliment. I've not had it above BSL since I was ten and didn't HAVE a BSL. ;) I have very seldom made a huge spectacle of it, and usually just nod and thank the person (making sure to return the compliment if it's deserved), and keep shopping or whatever.

After all, what's the point in having it long if you're just throwing it up into a bun to hide it when you go out??

[Friesiangirl]

Everyone always notices my toys

"How do you get the stick thingy to do that?"

"What is THAT?!?" (pointing to hair fork)

"Where did you...?"

I like the attention.

Hayley

[HeatherLarsen]

I try not to "mess" with mine too much. I noticed the less I have my hands in it the less it sheds and the more it grows.

[RedJen]

I almost always put my hair up when I go out and about. Sometimes I feel like I can't just be without people commenting. I would love to wear my hair down once in a while, but the attention would really get on my nerves.

I've never really had a time when my hair didn't get attention. When I was little and had very short hair, I still got comments and touching, because of the color.

I have long hair for me, not for others. Sometimes, I like talking about it, but sometimes I want to just be. (And when I want to talk about it, I come to LHC!)

[AmyJorgensen]

I usually am ok with the compliments, and I generally get a few a month. Enough to be nice, but not overwhelming.

[ZadenWillowfyre]

I can understand how you feel! I get asked about my red color all the time and it gets old (it's been happening all my life!). I'd try wearing a cute hat or bandana! I like to bun my hair and then flip a scarf over it. Hides length well!

[Melisande]

I don't get any compliments at all, except from my dh and daughters. I guess it's my age - I'm 45 and invisible. A mixed blessing. I'd like to get a little compliment from time to time - but no, all I get are some bitchy questions about when I will cut my hair to an age-appropriate style.

So enjoy the positive attention while it lasts.

[Debra83]

I work in the public and people comment all the time on my hair, if I dye it - they tell me if they like it that colour or the colour I had previously (now that I Henna - not as many comments on hair colour).

If I wear it up, or different - you got it - comments - mostly compliments though.

Some people offer their opinion on what length I should have or not.

But, I am an extreme extrovert (but conservative), so I don't mind.

I'm happily looking forward to the day when people will comment on the length lots. :D

[Schnee]

Well, today I braided my hair and fastend the tassel back under the base, with a very pretty butterfly clip btw.. Did this length-eating-style help? NO!!! I got about 200 meters from my house before I got my first compliment... Jeeezes, what can a girl do? :eyebrows:

[Debra83]

Well, today I braided my hair and fastend the tassel back under the base, with a very pretty butterfly clip btw.. Did this length-eating-style help? NO!!! I got about 200 meters from my house before I got my first compliment... Jeeezes, what can a girl do? :eyebrows:

Grin and bear it!!!

[ChatoyantLocks]

When I go out and don't want people to notice my hair I braid it, tuck it inside the front of my jacket, and wear a hat.

I've also got a hairstyle I use to make my hair look shorter on occasion. Basically it is a braid with a long tassel on the end, with the base of the tassel fastened with a large barrette high on the back of my head. (Start the braid up high, to help form a support for the barrette if you have heavy hair.) I fluff out the tassel to hide the folded braid, and it looks like I have much shorter hair! I usually put a second, visible, barrette above the "ponytail" to decorate it.

[plaidprincess]

Ha! Me(e)gan - I had to laugh at this. I also used to play cello and got exactly the same thing all the time.

And my name is Leonie - pronounced Lee-uh-nie (rhymes with peony), not Lee-oh-nie.

Aaaargh! This stuff drives me crazy - if people don;t get it the second time I tell them I generally think they aren't listening to me/interested in what I'm saying and therefore are not worth knowing.

I also get asked all the time about my tattoos - it seems that everyone thinks they are saying something totally original. I've heard it a million times...

[Heidi_234]

Of course your braid will draw some attention, look at it. :thud:
Buns are better for your purpose, they conceal the length pretty well. It takes an experienced LHCer to know that this bun, this size, must be classic length hair. And the rest of the world just wonders where 'all that hair' is gone.