Children and long hair - opinions?

[nature-head]

I was just looking at my daughter's hair yesterday and it has gotten quite long. She will be turning 5 in December and her hair is a gorgeous tailbone length. I was thinking that maybe I should trim it up to waist as she likes to wear it down a lot and I worry that it's going to get caught in things (plus, it's touching the toilet :blueeek: because she forgets to move it out of the way).
She wants to grow it "like Rapunzel" and I think she's got a great chance at that. I just don't want her to get hurt.

What are your opinions on small children and long hair? I will post some pics of her hair when she wakes up in a bit.

[Smitts]

I would tell her the responsibilities of having long hair in a simple way.

Like, explain that Rapunzel takes care of her hair, puts it up when using the bathroom so it doesn't get dirty and stays pretty.

If she is playing, just have her put it up and explain to her that it can get caught in things and get pulled. and if it gets pulled out she wont have Rapunzel hair length anymore.

[pradabacon]

Great advice, Smitts. :) I agree.

[Longlocks3]

I had long hair when I was little. My mom even had to try to get rid of a bad case of lice when I was in elementary school. It is NOT easy or pleasant to use one of those little plastic combs on long hair.

At 5, she is probably old enough to be taught how to do basic care for her hair, supervised of course.

Maybe convince her that most of the time she should have it done in a 'pretty princess' braid and on very special occasions she can wear it down.

[pinkbunny]

I think it depends on the child - you know your own daughter better than anyone. If she's willing (and able) to be responsible (within reason) for her own hair, then let it grow.

My ex BF's daughter had tailbone length hair. Her mother did put effort into keeping it washed, combed, and would often find creative ways to put it up. She was also one of those "lucky" few who just had great hair without a lot of fuss. But she was also learning proper hair care from her mother, and the older she got the more she did for herself.

Teach your daughter what she needs to know and use good judgement as to what she's able to handle. If she can't keep it out of the toilet now just let her grow it later...

[Dierna]

My daughter used to have long hair, but she couldn't take care of it herself. It is really fine, and tangles really badly. It is a little longer than shoulder length now, but it was past tailbone at one point. Even braiding it didn't help, since she'd get rat nests at her nape. She's 7 now, and can take care of it herself, but she says she likes it better this way since she can wear it down without it blowing in her face.

[GeoJ]

My DD is almost 4 and has near tailbone length hair now. I have convinced her to wear "pretty princess braids" on most days, and she can wear it down sometimes on the weekends. This cuts down on tangles.

I don't know what to do about the toilet issues because my DD is picky about cleanliness and insists I bun her hair before she uses the toilet. I keep a cheap ficcare look alike on the bathroom shelf to put her hair up with. At preschool she holds her braids up out of the way on her own. If she wasn't good I think I would loop her braids up every day.

[JamieLeigh]

I've seen a lot of good advice so far. I agree that it really depends on how responsible your daughter is already. If she's able to do a lot of things on her own, then she should be able to understand about hair care. And if she wants long, princess hair, she needs to be ready to care for it. Because there is only so much you can do for her yourself - she'll be away from you all day long at school, and you won't be able to help her there.

My daughters love long hair also, and the youngest is really wanting her hair to be long again (she got a pixie cut earlier this year, thanks to DS5 and the scissors. :rolleyes:). My oldest loves MY hair, but doesn't really like it on herself. She was educated, by me, on the proper care of long hair and she tried it for herself, from age 4 (APL) til this month (back to APL from waist). She thinks it's just too much to worry about. And at her age, I agree with her - if there are other things she wants to spend her time doing and thinking about, then for goodness sakes, she's 8 years old and she knows what's comfortable for herself and what's not.

I guess my point is, educate her on the proper ways to take care of her hair - again, a lot of good advice already on this thread - and make it fun. If it's too much work, she'll let you know. :flower:

ETA: I forgot about the bathroom issue. One thing you could do is teach her to make the Bathroom Scarf, which is what I taught my 8 year old. Have her wrap her hair around her neck like a scarf before doing her business, and tell her the Scarf should NOT come off until her hands are washed and she's out the bathroom door. Otherwise she'll get her hair dirty, and princesses do NOT have dirty hair! It worked for us, LOL.

[frodolaughs]

When I was little and had long hair my mom braided it for me. (little was about 5-9; before that she insisted on cutting it) I know a lot of people don't have time for that, but for me it was very special together time. I think it was special for her, too. However I wore my hair during the day it was always braided at night, and this made more of a difference in cutting down on tangles than anything else. That, and using a heavy-duty conditioner. It never went past waist though, so nobody worried about the bathroom.

[Themyst]

My DD has TB hair and she wants to grow it down to her ankles. She's still somewhat irresponsible with it, but as her mom I make sure it's detangled properly. She'll learn in time. I'm training my DD to start wearing it in a bun to keep it out of the way but she loves to wear it down.

[linda g]

I have good memories of my mom braiding my hair for me before I was allowed outside to play. "so it wouldn't get tangled up". For school, it could be pigtails or half-up, or down, but for running around it had to be braided. I loved my "Indian braids"!

[nature-head]

THanks for all the great advice already. I have talked to her about her hair care before but suppose I should give more specifics. I braid it on most days, but she doesn't want to bother sometimes and insists on wearing it down, even when I warn of the impending tangles. She is practicing to comb her own hair and is getting decent at it. It is well taken care of (as you can see in the pic).

As for the bathroom issue. I like the scarf suggestion for when she has it down. I think we'll try that as she can easily do it at school too.

Anyway, as promised, here is a pic taken this morning (washed 2 days ago).

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/picture.php?albumid=4208&pictureid=53942

[SheaLynne]

Ooh, thanks for posting this, and to everyone for the great answers.

My dd is also turning 5 in December and has gorgeous tb length hair. It is naturally fairytaled, though, so it has alot of layers and taper still. I've wondered the same thing about cutting back to waist to get to more blunt ends, but her hair is blonde and darkening, so I hate to lose the very blonde ends because she'll never have those again...so it is still growing for now!

I love the tips on the bathroom issue because that's the biggest concern as it gets any longer. Otherwise, we have a great routine so far with her loving having her hair "fixed" so it hasn't been hard to keep it up or braided most of the time. From the beginning, having hair fixed has not been negotiable. It is just something we do, like brushing teeth, etc. And we've never had a problem.

She is growing in curly now (the top 6 inches or so), so I'm having to learn to help her tame the frizz some in our humidity, but the curls are also helping it not show more length for a while now.

Oh, and so far comments from others have only been positive about her hair...mostly just people asking if she's ever had her hair cut. (We've done mini trims here and there, but never a full cut of any length.)

Anyway, loved the thread and hope you find ways to help your dd continue to have and love her long hair. I think healthy ends at waist would also be lovely as she goes into school age.

eta: ooh, saw pic of your dds hair after I posted this, and her ends have no problem with not being healthy! (I didn't want it to look like I said that after seeing her hair! It is gorgeous...my personal opinion, keep it this length if you think longer would be too much, but otherwise WOW!)

[missjessiecakes]

THanks for all the great advice already. I have talked to her about her hair care before but suppose I should give more specifics. I braid it on most days, but she doesn't want to bother sometimes and insists on wearing it down, even when I warn of the impending tangles. She is practicing to comb her own hair and is getting decent at it. It is well taken care of (as you can see in the pic).

As for the bathroom issue. I like the scarf suggestion for when she has it down. I think we'll try that as she can easily do it at school too.

Anyway, as promised, here is a pic taken this morning (washed 2 days ago).

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/picture.php?albumid=4208&pictureid=53942


Oh she has beautiful hair!:thudpile:

[Leena7]

That hair is lovely. Mine was only ever APL when I was little. In fact, APL is the longest my hair has ever been. How deprived I was! I think I never had long hair as a kid because I liked going to the salon with my grandma "like a grown up." Also, it was easier for my mom to manage my hair shorter because it used to tangle.

[MandaMom2Three]

Oh how nice! My oldest daughter is 5 and except for ONE small trim to evel the hemline (she had this one strand that was MUCH longer than the rest) I've never cut it. It's juuuuuuust now around BSL (not that she wears bras :p) and my other daughter just turned 3 and she has a few whisps that are shoulder length but basically looks pixie, never even trimmed hers! I admit to being a tad jealous seeing little girls with long hair :D. My 5 yo's hair does tangle easily, but she doesn;t mind wearing braids so that helps.

[Anlbe]

I simply love long hair on little girls, and your daughter is the perfect example of why, so beautiful.

As a child I desperately wanted long hair but the rule in my family is that children only have hair of the length and style that they can care for themselves, I don't ever remember my mother brushing or combing my hair. So in my family all the girls have had short bobs until at least the age of twelve. The only variety is whether we have a fringe or not, which I did because I always lost my hair clips, but my sister for example didn't because she's never lost a thing in her life.

[Pburgh56]

She has beautiful hair for sure :) I would definately say to let it keep growing long on her. While she may not be old enough yet to handle all the responsibilies of haivng really long hair, she surely can handle some and it would be fun teaching her how to care for it. :) Any thoughts on younger boys with long hair too? I tend to see more and more of it.

[Topaz]

Nature Head, your daughter's hair is absolutely gorgeous! I don't have any advice that hasn't already been offered, I just wanted to let you know how lovely her hair is!

[nature-head]

Oh how nice! My oldest dSaughter is 5 and except for ONE small trim to evel the hemline (she had this one strand that was MUCH longer than the rest) I've never cut it. It's juuuuuuust now around BSL (not that she wears bras :p) and my other daughter just turned 3 and she has a few whisps that are shoulder length but basically looks pixie, never even trimmed hers! I admit to being a tad jealous seeing little girls with long hair :D. My 5 yo's hair does tangle easily, but she doesn;t mind wearing braids so that helps.

My dd gets two trims a year when my SIL trims about an inch.She was born with a lot of hair. When she was about 9 mo I had to trim off her mullet LOL. Since then it's great. It's hard to tell from the pics because her hair was braided, but she has natural S waves with ringlets on the ends. I just love her hair and hope she keeps it long always.

Thanks for all the nice comments on her hair! I am reading the comments to her and she loves it. It will be good encouragement to her.

[suicides_eve]

very pretty hair she has, My dd 4yrs is a 3b and i have to keep her length maintained around "bsl" on her any longer and the curls over take my already hectic mornings

[intothemist1999]

I think long is ok for kids. Maybe short enough that it doesn't touch the toilet, as you mention.

No one ever warned me of hazards like fans until I came here! lol She's not tall enough to be using the stove, but that's another hair hazard. I can't think of kid-sized hazards.

My niece had beautiful long blond hair when she was small and at around 5 they cut it to chin length and it quite honestly just looked goofy on her. :shrug:

[Quixii]

Such pretty hair!
I can't remember what my parents did in regards to my hair being long and me taking care of it. I don't think it was that long at that young an age. They were so frustrated that I wouldn't brush it though. I didn't like it and I didn't see why I should and it took away my curls. Then I did start brushing it... and now I don't, because it takes away my curls and I'm old enough to know how to take care of my own hair. :D
But yeah, that is one thing to keep in mind - if your daughter has a different hair type than you it may be worth mentioning/considering that her hair may need taken care of in different ways.
And I always liked (and do like) a ponytail to keep it out of the way. =)

[emmebean]

First, your daughter's hair is beautiful! I am all for long hair on girls, I had long hair till 10 when my mother had it cut off because she was tired of caring for it. She never taught me to care for it. I love teaching my girls to take care of their hair, and I love helping them with it. I seem to learn something new everyday here on LHC and love to tell them about it. We don't have any serious length/cleanliness issues yet, thank goodness, but we'll find a way to handle it, be it education or trimming. Best of luck in however you take care of it!

[Brat]

When I was 5 or 6, my mom had my hair cut to my nape. It was short all over, and I looked like a boy. It was one of the most traumatic things I can remember. I always loved long, loose, flowing hair. Mine used to tangle real bad at the nape, and I can see now that me always taking out the ponytails and braids and barrettes made it tangle more, and maybe she got sick of detangling. Course, she had short hair herself and didn't know much about long hair care. It was horrible though, no matter the reason!

[longhairedfairy]

Oh, she's lovely! I agree with others that said to tell her a princess would never let her hair touch the toilet! That will be easier for a child to remember. She has beautiful hair and will want to keep it that way.:)
As soon as my hair grew long enough it was always at waist-length as a child. My mother would just put it in a ponytail or in a braid/two braids. I never found it bothersome.

[longhairedfairy]

When I was 5 or 6, my mom had my hair cut to my nape. It was short all over, and I looked like a boy. It was one of the most traumatic things I can remember. I always loved long, loose, flowing hair. Mine used to tangle real bad at the nape, and I can see now that me always taking out the ponytails and braids and barrettes made it tangle more, and maybe she got sick of detangling. Course, she had short hair herself and didn't know much about long hair care. It was horrible though, no matter the reason!
Oh, you poor thing! That must have been devastating!:grouphug:

[above_rubies]

Oh my, her hair is SO beautiful!:heartbeat I would let her keep it long if she wants and teach her about how princesses take care of their hair, like others have said. Don't make her keep it up all the time. Her happy memories of long flowing princess hair swishing about is worth the cost of the few split ends she may get. And besides you are doing trims so that will help keep up with the ends. Braids at night may help with the detangling issues. Very lovely! :)

[pinkbunny]

When I was 5 or 6, my mom had my hair cut to my nape. It was short all over, and I looked like a boy. It was one of the most traumatic things I can remember. I always loved long, loose, flowing hair. Mine used to tangle real bad at the nape, and I can see now that me always taking out the ponytails and braids and barrettes made it tangle more, and maybe she got sick of detangling. Course, she had short hair herself and didn't know much about long hair care. It was horrible though, no matter the reason!

I can totally relate. Same thing happened when I started first grade - except mine was cut up to my ears!!! I've never seen a photo of my mother with hair longer than shoulder-length, either. I always suspected she didn't know much about long hair care, one reason being she hated my tangles, but wouldn't use conditioner on me because I was a child - age has nothing to do with hair type needs!?! :?

[nature-head]

I can totally relate. Same thing happened when I started first grade - except mine was cut up to my ears!!! I've never seen a photo of my mother with hair longer than shoulder-length, either. I always suspected she didn't know much about long hair care, one reason being she hated my tangles, but wouldn't use conditioner on me because I was a child - age has nothing to do with hair type needs!?! :?

These stories are the exact reason I don't want to cut her hair. When I was younger, my mom let me have long hair around BSL but she also permed it and then would brush it everyday giving me a nice frizz ball :cheese:(unless it was braided). Hey, it was the 80s.
I would love to see her hair at classic, but I'm not sure we'll go more than that unless she really wants to.

Oh, and the comments about her different hair type. Yes, it has been a challenge. She is about a 2b I think. If I brush her hair, she loses her curls. If we comb it, they stay. I think it's more difficult to learn to comb your hair as a child than to brush it. Takes more patience and coordination. Anyone else notice this?

[Themyst]

I had long hair when I was a child, but my mother wouldn't bother to help me with it (and she was a SAHM!) so she just cut it very short. I resent her attitude to this day. She's always had short, permed hair.

[Braidmaid]

First of all, your daughter has very beautiful hair, and it is wonderful that she loves it and sees it as “princess hair”.
I teach at an elementary school, where I have observed many young children and their fascination with long hair. I have overheard many little girls discuss “growing their hair like Rapunzel’s”. Kids of both genders like to play with the long hair of the little girls.
Sometimes, in the transition to first grade, they get their first haircut because Mom no longer wants to deal with it.
One little girl, who had beautiful hip length hair, had her hair cut back to just above her waist. She told me it made her daddy cry. Now, a couple of years later, it’s classic length again. I think she and her dad are winning out. She loves to wear it down, although she can put it up in a bun pretty quickly. She obviously loves her hair, and I think she’ll always have long hair.

[sally_neuf]

I simply love long hair on little girls, and your daughter is the perfect example of why, so beautiful.

As a child I desperately wanted long hair but the rule in my family is that children only have hair of the length and style that they can care for themselves, I don't ever remember my mother brushing or combing my hair. So in my family all the girls have had short bobs until at least the age of twelve. The only variety is whether we have a fringe or not, which I did because I always lost my hair clips, but my sister for example didn't because she's never lost a thing in her life.

This was my family rule too. My mom didn't had much time to style my sister's or my hair (Imagine, three heads!) So short bobs for us.
It didn't bothered me. When she stopped cutting it, I felt like I was a big girl, and for that I had to be responsible with my hair, and with everything, And show her that I could handle my long hair wich I really wanted

[nature-head]

One little girl, who had beautiful hip length hair, had her hair cut back to just above her waist. She told me it made her daddy cry. Now, a couple of years later, it’s classic length again. I think she and her dad are winning out. She loves to wear it down, although she can put it up in a bun pretty quickly. She obviously loves her hair, and I think she’ll always have long hair.

Wow that's impressive. Maybe I should work on teaching my dd to bun her hair herself. She loves being independent and would love to be able to style herself. A basic bun shouldn't be too hard for her. I think we'll try that tonight!


This was my family rule too. My mom didn't had much time to style my sister's or my hair (Imagine, three heads!) So short bobs for us.
It didn't bothered me. When she stopped cutting it, I felt like I was a big girl, and for that I had to be responsible with my hair, and with everything, And show her that I could handle my long hair wich I really wanted

That's a nice observation that being able to grow your hair made you feel grown up. Almost like a right of passage sort of thing. I hadn't thought about it that way. As it is, my husband and I are holding on to pierced ears as a special thing for when she's older. I really like styling her hair and mine (and look forward to doing my younger dd who has VERY curly hair, so it's growing much slower. I'm having a boy in Dec so us three girls will be it). It's nice mommy/daughter time.:heartbeat