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prittykitty
October 21st, 2009, 02:33 AM
Me and a friend were at a Walgreens store. My friend was looking at some affordable hair products. She has a thin, almost bald spot on top of her head in the crown area from years of wearing her hair up in a tight bun and covered. She use to be a Hutterite but left the colony. While we were looking, a young girl came up to us that worked there to see if we needed help. My friend told her what the problem was that she had. The girl showed her a few products that might work but was really no help. After this she took her hair down out of her clip she had it up in and started to flaunt it, telling us how healthy her hair was and how heavy it was and how glad she was that she didn't have any hair problems, etc. Her hair was long, blond and at the middle of her back. My friend felt a little bad by this because her own hair was not quite as nice (she told me). After the girl left she put her hair back up. We were in there another day too and the same girl was working. She also knows that I am trying to grow my hair out. Again, she came up to us and asked if we needed help. At the same time she took her hair down again and started to swing it around and play with it. We decided to leave and she walked away and put her hair back up again. I thought it was kind of bad manners on her part. We have not been back to that store since and go to the one on the other side of town that is an inconvenience.What approach should be taken if we go back to that store and there is a repeat of this? I am not one to really care but my friend felt bad. I hope this question doesn't sound petty or anything but I felt that girl at the store was a little out of line.

Tangerine
October 21st, 2009, 02:40 AM
I would feel the same in your situation - that the girl is flaunting her own hair a bit too much ... I am sorry that it is making your friend uncomfortable. To be honest I think the only thing to do (if you want to go back there) is just to immediately decline her assistance (firm but friendly, is my mantra:) ) and then ignore her!
The next step would be to actually tell her to stop flaunting her hair in front of you, but wouldn't that make the situation even more uncomfortable (especially for your friend?).
Sorry I can't think of anything else. Maybe someone else will come along with a more helpful suggestion.
:flower:

hanne jensen
October 21st, 2009, 02:46 AM
I completely agree with you. Not only was it out of line, it was downright cruel.
If it were me, I would politely point out that although her hair is very pretty, please don't rub it in to people with hair problems. She is but young.
As for your friend, can you recommend Monostat to her? There have been a few ladies on the thread that have regrown hair in bald spots using Mn. Check out the thread Monostat: Dare we do this again?
Best wishes to you and your friend.

prittykitty
October 21st, 2009, 02:49 AM
I would feel the same in your situation - that the girl is flaunting her own hair a bit too much ... I am sorry that it is making your friend uncomfortable. To be honest I think the only thing to do (if you want to go back there) is just to immediately decline her assistance (firm but friendly, is my mantra:) ) and then ignore her!
The next step would be to actually tell her to stop flaunting her hair in front of you, but wouldn't that make the situation even more uncomfortable (especially for your friend?).
Sorry I can't think of anything else. Maybe someone else will come along with a more helpful suggestion.
:flower:
My friend has fairly long hair but it is not in the best shape and again, she is very self conscience about her bald spot. In fact she pulls the front of her hair back and puts it in a clip to hide her bald spot. She wants to try and grow thicker hair (her hair is thin) and hoping hair will grow in the crown area. This is the reason she felt so uncomfortable.

Tangerine
October 21st, 2009, 03:04 AM
Yes, I completely understood that that is why your friend is feeling uncomfortable.
Therefore, if you both wanted to go back to that store I would immediately stop the girl from offering her assistance and thereby hopefully stop her taking her hair down in front of you again.
If that doesn't do the trick, I would follow Hanne Jensen's helpful advice and make a comment about it. The only thing I raised was that confronting the girl about it might make your friend even more uncomfortable because it might put too much focus on the situation if you see what I mean.

Good luck with it, I hope the situation resolves itself. Having to go to another store across town is definitely an inconvenience! The silly girl probably has no idea of the discomfort she is causing .. (which may actually be a good reason to have a quiet word with her, I suppose. Or with her supervisor?).

ravenreed
October 21st, 2009, 03:09 AM
I would complain to a manager. That is bad customer service. Twice.

Bene
October 21st, 2009, 03:39 AM
Wow. That kind of hair flaunting is totally unacceptable.



I think the best way to handle it is to go back there and do your shopping as you normally would. I mean it's Walgreens! Unless they work the pharmacy counter, those people are just retail clerks. She is most certainly not an expert, and you don't have to put up with her crap. If this girl comes up to you and asks if she can help, coldly look her up and down and say "No, you can't help us. Are there any other employees?" If she has the nerve to ask why, politely say "We would feel more comfortable with someone who doesn't feel the need to show off".


And since I'm extra evil, I'd twist the knife a little more and I'd find whatever imperfection she has on her body and stare or say something about it where she can over hear. All women have something they're self conscious about, maybe she has acne, or is overweight, or has a Gonzo nose, or has terrible teeth, or looks trashy. Zero in on it and make sure she knows it. Of course, you're probably a better person than I am, so you would probably think this is just wrong. But yeah, she should probably get a taste of her own medicine.

JCFantasy23
October 21st, 2009, 03:42 AM
That's odd, to me it just sounds cruel too.

florenonite
October 21st, 2009, 03:47 AM
That's cruel and completely inappropriate coming from someone in her position. I would report her to the manager, this behaviour is unacceptable.

Elbereth
October 21st, 2009, 03:55 AM
I would complain to a manager as well. That girl is cruel and unprofessional, and her behavior is certainly NOT helping her to do her job, which is to sell products, not scare customers away. Complaining about bad customer service is not being difficult. If anything, it is helpful for the store, as it is in every store's interest to make paying customers feel welcome and enjoy their shopping experience.
Sometimes (very rarely) some people, esp. in high end stores, try to treat me badly because they seem to confuse simple dress with a personality simple enough not to notice insults. I am always polite to the person in question, because if the issue goes to manager, it is not wise to reveal that you insulted back. But I document the exact time and place of the occurrence, as well as the name of the salesperson/a description of her appearance in my complaint. Trust me when I say that a detailed, polite complaint does wonders to straighten things out.

Jadestorm
October 21st, 2009, 04:45 AM
Wow, that's really cruel and unprofessional!

I would go in there again and the next time she comes and asks if she can help you, say in a stirdy and voice 'no, you can't help us, and no need to take your hair down and flaunt it in our faces like you usually do either, thanks'. I think that would be the easiest and most to the point way to get her to understand her huge mistake. Good luck with it!

gmdiaz
October 21st, 2009, 05:43 AM
She's just a little pip. . .when she asks if you need any help, just say "No thanks!"

If you really do want some help, ask someone else and if there isn't anyone else, ask for the manager.

If the manager asks you why you don't want to work with the pip, just tell him. . .that the last two times you've been in the store she has been really unhelpful.

Don't let her bother you or hurt your feelings. . .your hair will regrow and she will stil be a pip. lol

Mutinous
October 21st, 2009, 06:02 AM
That is really rude, I'm sorry to hear that :(

It's a shame she has to validate her own hair worth (for the lack of a better term) by making others feel worse about their own. Maybe she has some insecurities too?

sedonia
October 21st, 2009, 06:17 AM
The girl sounds very rude, but if it were me I would ignore her. She is the one with the problem, and her problem really has nothing to do with you or your friend. As someone else said, your friend's hair will regrow and the sales girl will still be who she is.

I wouldn't even waste any energy explaining anything to her, much less complaining to her manager. You will likely just come off sounding petty if you file a complaint. Ignore her.

YoginiCelestial
October 21st, 2009, 06:18 AM
prittykitty,
The way that you and your friend have been treated is unacceptable. You should by all means, make a visit to the store and speak directly with the Store Manager. Not Assist. Manager, THE manager for that store. If he's not there, find out when he or she will be. Assist. Managers do not always have the authorization to directly discipline employees. Let him/her know that you felt it was important to inform them of the unacceptable behaviour by the floor clerk bragging and flaunting her hair to you and your friend when clearly was a gesture to make you both feel belittled. And that you feel uncomfortable going there now, and have since avoided another situation with her, by taking your business elsewhere.
If he is a good manager he will fire that clerk. Those jobs have high turnover anyway. Then you can once again feel comfortable doing business there. This may sound cruel, but what she did to you was cruel and she must learn her lesson. She is young and hopefully on her next job will be more careful of how she treats her customers.

WaimeaWahine
October 21st, 2009, 06:54 AM
A manager is likely to just dismiss it. I've gone to management before at Walgreens because an older employee would creep me out. He once picked up my soap I was buying and smelled it while staring at me. The female manager admitted he did things like that to her too but acted helpless to fix it.

Walgreen's always have survey's on the bottom of all their receipts and companies do listen. Take every survey and mention this female clerk. Tell them if her behavior continues you will be taking your friends and shopping elsewhere.

If confrontation is okay with you then ask to talk to her away from your friend and with a low voice explain that her behavior is inappropriate, unprofessional, and insensitive. It is possible though that this clerk is not aware of that and not doing it on purpose. :shrug:

Tressie
October 21st, 2009, 07:09 AM
That particular clerk seems extremely juvenile to me. I certainly wouldn't allow her to keep me from shopping at that store if I wanted to. I'd go back anytime I wanted and if she approached me to "offer help", I'd politely decline and say, "we've seen your hair already, but thanks anyway. If we want another showing, we'll let you know!" Have a nice day! (o:

Then I'd turn around, ignore her, and shop! (o: (o:

SHELIAANN1969
October 21st, 2009, 07:15 AM
Sounds like she has a personal issue and needs to be in the limelight to me. If she keeps it up, I would tell management that your friend was searching for products for thinning hair, is allready self conscious and embarrassed about her condition, was offered help and instead of positive assistance, she was made to feel ashamed and more uncomfortable.

Imagine if it were a situation where a man was discretely looking for male natural enhancements and the young male cashier was telling the customer and elaborating on how he has NO issues at all! :bigeyes:

Tangerine
October 21st, 2009, 07:29 AM
[...] an older employee would creep me out. He once picked up my soap I was buying and smelled it while staring at me.

shudder: yuck that is freaky. How do you react to something like that?! I think the total 'oh my god is this really happening' of it would actually make me laugh out loud with surprise and nervousness. I had that when I was flashed once - I couldn't help myself and just burst out laughing my head off ....

Sorry for the hijack.

pinkbunny
October 21st, 2009, 07:44 AM
I myself am not a violent person, but because other people don't know that I've never had to get into a fight. I would go to the store alone, find that clerk, and tell her nicely that what she did made my friend upset and uncomfortable. If she doesn't sincerely apologize (maybe she did it without thinking? some people don't realize they're jerks) look her dead in the eye and tell her the next time she whips her hair out in front of your friend again you'll snatch her a bald spot to see how it feels to have one!

Longlocks3
October 21st, 2009, 07:50 AM
The clerk sounds so immature! Maybe she's just really oblivious to the fact that flaunting her hair in front of a woman with hair issues is very very insensitive.

toaster
October 21st, 2009, 08:06 AM
In that situation, I'd probably make a joke about it to break the tension and make your friend feel more comfortable. Something like, "hey, now that's nice hair that would work for you, I think they have scissors in isle 3".
It's not really cruel, but she won't bother you again.

sweetstaste
October 21st, 2009, 08:08 AM
I would complain to the manager or give her a taste of her own rude medicine then dismiss her as the 'help.' Rude and obnoxious people I just can't tolerate.

pepperminttea
October 21st, 2009, 08:17 AM
I'd report her, too. Great on her for having nice hair, but rubbing it in someone's face like that is just downright mean.

I hope your friend finds a solution for her hair problem soon. :)

SHELIAANN1969
October 21st, 2009, 08:22 AM
I myself am not a violent person, but because other people don't know that I've never had to get into a fight. I would go to the store alone, find that clerk, and tell her nicely that what she did made my friend upset and uncomfortable. If she doesn't sincerely apologize (maybe she did it without thinking? some people don't realize they're jerks) look her dead in the eye and tell her the next time she whips her hair out in front of your friend again you'll snatch her a bald spot to see how it feels to have one!


Threatening violence would be a good way to get banned from the store. Then I guess they wouldn't have to worry about the rude clerk anymore, although it wouldn't help their case any by being made out to be the violent ones.

motormuffin
October 21st, 2009, 08:30 AM
The clerk sounds so immature! Maybe she's just really oblivious to the fact that flaunting her hair in front of a woman with hair issues is very very insensitive.
I agree here.

Coriander
October 21st, 2009, 10:36 AM
I myself am not a violent person, but because other people don't know that I've never had to get into a fight. I would go to the store alone, find that clerk, and tell her nicely that what she did made my friend upset and uncomfortable. If she doesn't sincerely apologize (maybe she did it without thinking? some people don't realize they're jerks) look her dead in the eye and tell her the next time she whips her hair out in front of your friend again you'll snatch her a bald spot to see how it feels to have one!

I would do this... go in by myself, so as not to further upset my friend, and have a discussion with the brat.

How unbelievably insensitive that little $&%@ is to do that. Since she's so proud of her hair, one would think that she realizes how important it is to someone, especially someone who is having esteem issues with their own hair. To flaunt it around like that TWICE is unacceptable.

I would find that employee, take her aside, and quietly inform her that her actions were overstated, overdramatic and unnecessary. I would also tell her that she was being obviously ignorant of her customer's distress and instead of being sympathetic and helpful, she ground her customer's feelings into the ground by showing off her own hair.

Then I would ask for an apology, and if I weren't offered one, I would tell her that I would speak to her manager.

Hell, I would probably speak to the manager anyways afterwards.

Jezerellica
October 21st, 2009, 10:50 AM
I'm sorry that happened. It is most insensitive on her part. Your poor friend.

The other day my Mom insisted on taking her hair down to show off in a store, it all happened so fast, I could not believe it. I love my Mom so much, but no amount of, "wait, show me at home Mom..." was going to change what she wanted to do. Some people need appreciation(I am NOT making excuses)and just don't think of others feelings around them. Then she would not put it back up...well, it is my MOM, what do I say.

I just make sure I give her plenty of appreciation when I am with her at home.

MsBubbles
October 21st, 2009, 10:56 AM
OMG! I would laugh my butt off! LMOA! ROTFL...

That's really funny. I'm dead serious. It would make me want to call my sister on another continent on my cell phone regardless of the prohibitive fee, tell her about it and listen to her crack up on the other end of the phone...

(The bit about the sad sales clerk needing to swing her hair around like that, not the bit about your friend's sensitive thinning issue).

Roseate
October 21st, 2009, 11:06 AM
She just sounds immature, insensitive and seriously in need of some attention.

You can get into complaining to the management if you want, but I'd probably just politely but firmly decline her help the next time you're there; I doubt she is really an expert on the hair products anyway, she's just a drugstore clerk.

If she insists on buzzing around you messing with her hair even though you've let her know you don't want her help, that could be a good time to lodge a complaint.

Barbie Diamond
October 21st, 2009, 12:07 PM
I am guessing the girl is young (late teenager or very early 20s) and which is about the best time most of us have great hair (ever notice most of the silky hair commercials over the last 30 years). Which is why I secretly cringe when I hear someone that age cut off their hair thinking they can grow it back (it never grows back the same). Anyway, she thinks she has healthy hair when if fact it is simply young hair. My mean streak would ask her where the acne cream is and when she tells me, then I would say "no I meant for you."

MsBubbles
October 21st, 2009, 12:15 PM
I am guessing the girl is young (late teenager or very early 20s) and which is about the best time most of us have great hair (ever notice most of the silky hair commercials over the last 30 years). Which is why I secretly cringe when I hear someone that age cut off their hair thinking they can grow it back (it never grows back the same). Anyway, she thinks she has healthy hair when if fact it is simply young hair.

This might be true for lucky people with naturally thick, swingy hair. But alas, mine never was, and so now it really looks no better or worse than when I was in my late teens/early 20s. My belly, on the other hand, is a different story...:run:

(- End hijack -)

frodolaughs
October 21st, 2009, 12:18 PM
Slight thread hijack--do you think your friend would like to join us here?

shadowclaw
October 21st, 2009, 01:13 PM
I agree with everyone else -- that was rather unprofessional and rotten. The only situation in which flaunting her hair could be acceptable is if she said, "Oh, I had the same problem, and then I used product X and look what it did for my hair." But just swishing it around and saying those things is like putting up a big neon sign that says, "I'm Awesome! Don't You Wish You Were Me?"

I would do one of two things. Tell the girl she is being rude or that you don't appreciate her flaunting her hair. Some people don't know better, and maybe she'll learn a life lesson if you point it out.

Or I would inform the manager. This route can have mixed results. If the manager disagrees with you over whether or not the girl was rude, the whole thing will be dismissed. The manager might also be a pushover who doesn't actually manage, but just kind of watches over everyone. In that case, the manager will be too afraid/lazy/etc to do anything. But also, telling the manager might help, because there are a lot of good managers out there who should be paid more for doing such a fine job. A good manager would repremand the girl in some fashion, and at the very least she'll behave appropriately towards you in the future, if not everyone else.

Gypsy
October 21st, 2009, 01:42 PM
She sounds like a "Mean Girl" or a "Plastic" to quote a few movie terms.
Deliberately trying to make someone feel bad.
Don't complain to the manager; I have heard over and over how Walgreen's managers don't respond to customer service complaints; go to the top- corporate.
You can complain online-
http://www.walgreens.com/marketing/contactus/forms.jsp
and see if that gets a response.

camirra555
October 21st, 2009, 01:46 PM
That's so rude, it's one thing to be proud of your hair but it's another thing to be so blatantly rude and flaunt it to make others feel bad. I also think you should complain

jojo
October 21st, 2009, 01:49 PM
Totally unprofessional and cruel, but my concerns are for your friend has she had her bloods checked for iron deficiencies, thyroid or FSH? also I second the monistat, but please urge her to have her bloods checked out to rule out any medical condition.

pinchbeck
October 21st, 2009, 02:28 PM
She should be reported as she is NOT an asset to Walgreen's. Her actions were inappropriate, hurtful, inconsiderate and unprofessional. It only takes one phone call! Please complain.

prittykitty
October 21st, 2009, 02:35 PM
Slight thread hijack--do you think your friend would like to join us here?
My friend is an ex Hutterite. She is not too computer literate due to them never using them on the colony, however she is learning. She left the colony about 2 years ago. The problem is that she lives out of town and works taking care of an older lady. My friend also does not own a computer. When she has visited I have showed her this website and told her about it. She does want to join and learn but wants to at least own a computer first.

prittykitty
October 21st, 2009, 02:45 PM
That's odd, to me it just sounds cruel too.
The girl working at the store was trying to act nice. It's the way that she took her hair down and started to tell us how at one time her hair was to her knees but that her grandmother cut it because it was heavy. Then she started to tell us how she is so lucky to have never had problems with her hair as she played with her hair and swung it around. Then she pulled it way up high and let it all fall. She was also telling us how very fast her hair grows and how much longer it will be in just a few months (she said this after I told her I was trying to grow mine out). This girl did have very thick hair that was cut in some layers and had a lot of movement. The whole time she was talking to us it was all about her and her own hair. She started to tell us about how her and her sister in law don't get along and that she thinks she is just jealous of her. I am guessing that this girl was no older than about 19 or so.

prittykitty
October 21st, 2009, 02:48 PM
I completely agree with you. Not only was it out of line, it was downright cruel.
If it were me, I would politely point out that although her hair is very pretty, please don't rub it in to people with hair problems. She is but young.
As for your friend, can you recommend Monostat to her? There have been a few ladies on the thread that have regrown hair in bald spots using Mn. Check out the thread Monostat: Dare we do this again?
Best wishes to you and your friend.
I have told her about monistat as I have read it on here before. She is willing to try it. I hope it will work.

prittykitty
October 21st, 2009, 02:56 PM
I would do this... go in by myself, so as not to further upset my friend, and have a discussion with the brat.

How unbelievably insensitive that little $&%@ is to do that. Since she's so proud of her hair, one would think that she realizes how important it is to someone, especially someone who is having esteem issues with their own hair. To flaunt it around like that TWICE is unacceptable.

I would find that employee, take her aside, and quietly inform her that her actions were overstated, overdramatic and unnecessary. I would also tell her that she was being obviously ignorant of her customer's distress and instead of being sympathetic and helpful, she ground her customer's feelings into the ground by showing off her own hair.

Then I would ask for an apology, and if I weren't offered one, I would tell her that I would speak to her manager.

Hell, I would probably speak to the manager anyways afterwards.
Yes, she did it twice. The second time she was asking us if we needed help as she already had her hair down playing with it and talking at the same time. It makes me wonder if she does this to everyone. It's just strange how when she walks away she always puts it back up in her big giant clip.

above_rubies
October 21st, 2009, 03:02 PM
That is weird. It sounds to me like she is immature, self-absorbed, and oblivious to the pain she's causing. I think I would go and if it happens again just ask her how she thinks that makes people feel. Tell her that flaunting her hair and bragging about it is not polite. If she is not remorseful then I would go to management. My guess is that she's clueless though.

yellowchariot
October 21st, 2009, 05:23 PM
The girl working at the store was trying to act nice. It's the way that she took her hair down and started to tell us how at one time her hair was to her knees but that her grandmother cut it because it was heavy. Then she started to tell us how she is so lucky to have never had problems with her hair as she played with her hair and swung it around. Then she pulled it way up high and let it all fall. She was also telling us how very fast her hair grows and how much longer it will be in just a few months

You and your friend go back in there, when she comes up to you and starts slinging her hair around, grab a big chunk of it from the crown of her head, and rip out a nice shiny bald spot. Then say "OH look, you and my friend both have the same problem now!" :evil: LOL

No just kidding, but that is option #1 though! Keep it mind!

Option #2 After she is done rambling about her, and her hair, and how everybody is jealous of her. . . then kindly say. . . "oh well nothing lasts forever, not even jealousy or hair, they well eventually fade away with time"! :D ;)

Dementia1013
October 21st, 2009, 06:07 PM
Wow, the nerve of some people! I agree with the majority on here, I think a trip to the manager's office would do some good. That is incredibly rude...

Flynn
October 21st, 2009, 07:14 PM
That's just rude and cruel. In a school context, that would be dealt with as psychological bullying.

If she does it again, I personally would just tell her to put it away, like she was a little kid doing something inappropriate. I'd also consider putting in a complaint to the manager.

Hay22
October 21st, 2009, 07:48 PM
I guess I'm in the minority here by saying I think you should just ignore her. Was she insensitive? Yes. Was it enough for you to be mean to her, complain to management and possibly get her fired, or (like some have suggested) threaten violence? Definitely not. She's obviously young and oblivious and probably brings about enough problems on her own. She may have been doing it subconsciously and you never know - her hair may be the only thing she feels good about. If she approaches you in the store again, just tell her "No, thank you."

I do agree with previous posters that your friend should see a doctor.

Hijack - When I was a teen I lived in Montana and, when visiting the state park, a Hutterite teen made fun of my shoes. I don't know what this has to do with anything, though. :)

WaimeaWahine
October 21st, 2009, 08:08 PM
shudder: yuck that is freaky. How do you react to something like that?! I think the total 'oh my god is this really happening' of it would actually make me laugh out loud with surprise and nervousness. I had that when I was flashed once - I couldn't help myself and just burst out laughing my head off ....

Sorry for the hijack.

I learned to avoid him but you know how you get gut feelings? The guy had a molester/predator vibe. He finally got a clue after he would talk to me and I just stared him down. These days? I would say something loud enough so the whole store could hear. :cool:

Anywhere
October 21st, 2009, 08:09 PM
unlike everyone else, I think she probably was doing it on purpose to make your friend feel bad. Not everyone out there is nice and sweet, you know. Just imagine all the other people with hair problems that she's made feel worse about their problem. She probably gets pride out of showing off her hair, but its unnecessary, especially if it means she's ruining others' self esteem.:mad:

Have a talking to her like others have suggested. If she ever does it again, go to the manager and complain that you've told her how it makes your friend feel, and that you'd rather go shop somewhere else if they feel the need to hire people like that.

Morag
October 21st, 2009, 08:16 PM
I have to agree with the people who have suggested various versions of going back to the store (because, after all, it's there for your convenience, not hers) and when she offers help saying,

"No thanks. We do need some help, but you have not been helpful in the past and we don't want to watch you play with your hair again."

Simple and straight to the point usually works, even with the terminally insensitive.

I have a thin spot at the crown, too. Much sympathy for your friend. If she hasn't tried scalp massage yet, I've found it seems to help when I can remember to do it regularly.

goddesslynne
October 21st, 2009, 08:25 PM
I have to agree with the people who have suggested various versions of going back to the store (because, after all, it's there for your convenience, not hers) and when she offers help saying,

"No thanks. We do need some help, but you have not been helpful in the past and we don't want to watch you play with your hair again."

Simple and straight to the point usually works, even with the terminally insensitive.

I have a thin spot at the crown, too. Much sympathy for your friend. If she hasn't tried scalp massage yet, I've found it seems to help when I can remember to do it regularly.

Fabulous response!!

I have never had anything like this happen, and I send best wishes to you and your friend!! Poor service, sometimes not as severe as this experience, have me choose other places to shop!

Hairtada
October 21st, 2009, 08:26 PM
I am afraid I would be a little bit mean...I'd go back again and if she did the same thing ...as she was walking away putting her hair up I'd say, loud enough for her to hear ," beautiful hair on that girl but such a shame about her ears [or nose or whatever]".
Doubt she would want to "help" you again.

lynlora
October 21st, 2009, 08:27 PM
As others have said go to the manager. She might get her reality check one day when she is the one with hair issues. :)

Aer
October 21st, 2009, 08:41 PM
That girl was insensitive. And immature and immaturity like that deserves to be ignored, because it usually means she wants some sort of attention, even if it's negative.

I'm really sorry you and your friend had to deal with that silliness. I hope your friend has luck with her hair though, and there are all sorts of effective products out there, conventional and natural. A woman I know has a similar problem with thin hair and she uses Samy's Fat Hair care line. It seems to work well for her. Another method I've heard of a few times, is rosemary and nettle tea rinses, it gives volume and body to some people. Some people, who have some hair loss, say that using certain herbs/plants, like infused oil rubbed on the effected area, can be successful. I think it's herbs like, peppermint, jalapeno, cayenne,ginger and even black pepper.

Aer
October 21st, 2009, 08:44 PM
I am afraid I would be a little bit mean...I'd go back again and if she did the same thing ...as she was walking away putting her hair up I'd say, loud enough for her to hear ," beautiful hair on that girl but such a shame about her ears [or nose or whatever]".
Doubt she would want to "help" you again.
Oh , this could work too.

prittykitty
October 22nd, 2009, 01:37 AM
You and your friend go back in there, when she comes up to you and starts slinging her hair around, grab a big chunk of it from the crown of her head, and rip out a nice shiny bald spot. Then say "OH look, you and my friend both have the same problem now!" :evil: LOL

No just kidding, but that is option #1 though! Keep it mind!

Option #2 After she is done rambling about her, and her hair, and how everybody is jealous of her. . . then kindly say. . . "oh well nothing lasts forever, not even jealousy or hair, they well eventually fade away with time"! :D ;)
LOL, this is funny!

prittykitty
October 22nd, 2009, 01:42 AM
I guess I'm in the minority here by saying I think you should just ignore her. Was she insensitive? Yes. Was it enough for you to be mean to her, complain to management and possibly get her fired, or (like some have suggested) threaten violence? Definitely not. She's obviously young and oblivious and probably brings about enough problems on her own. She may have been doing it subconsciously and you never know - her hair may be the only thing she feels good about. If she approaches you in the store again, just tell her "No, thank you."

I do agree with previous posters that your friend should see a doctor.

Hijack - When I was a teen I lived in Montana and, when visiting the state park, a Hutterite teen made fun of my shoes. I don't know what this has to do with anything, though. :)
That's a Hutterite for you, making fun of shoes and sometimes cloths and the funny thing is that when they all get together and go to town, the girls head for the shoe section at walmart and try on high heels. My husband was also a Hutterite that left the colony. My friend I am talking about is actually his cousin. We just became really good friends after she left the colony and she stayed with us for a while. I hope you liked Montana. The bad part is the winter but the summer is great.

florenonite
October 22nd, 2009, 03:00 AM
I guess I'm in the minority here by saying I think you should just ignore her. Was she insensitive? Yes. Was it enough for you to be mean to her, complain to management and possibly get her fired, or (like some have suggested) threaten violence? Definitely not. She's obviously young and oblivious and probably brings about enough problems on her own. She may have been doing it subconsciously and you never know - her hair may be the only thing she feels good about. If she approaches you in the store again, just tell her "No, thank you."


She offended a customer. Maybe it was accidental, but the manager should still know about it. If it was accidental, then she needs to be told she's doing this so she doesn't offend anyone else.

And I don't buy the "young and oblivious". prittykitty said she looked no older than 19. I look no older than 19 and I know better! Sure, I play with my hair in public a bit more than some of the older members here think is proper, but I wouldn't be downright rude about it! If she was five, I'd understand, but by the time she's a teenager it's either accidental (in which case she needs told she's doing it) or deliberate (in which case she's cruel and deserves what she got).

Perhaps she was trying to be sympathetic in saying "I'm glad I don't have problems like that", and it came off the wrong way. I still think she should be informed of this. Her job isn't to feel good about herself, it's to help customers and provide them with an enjoyable shopping experience, end of story. If this means that she gets told off by her manager, or fired because she can't seem to do her job, so be it. I would suggest to the OP that if you report it and you think it did seem like she was trying to be nice, tell the manager this and emphasise that it was accidental but that it was nevertheless hurtful behaviour that ought to be stopped.

Morag
October 22nd, 2009, 07:13 AM
She offended a customer. Maybe it was accidental, but the manager should still know about it. If it was accidental, then she needs to be told she's doing this so she doesn't offend anyone else.

And I don't buy the "young and oblivious". prittykitty said she looked no older than 19. I look no older than 19 and I know better! Sure, I play with my hair in public a bit more than some of the older members here think is proper, but I wouldn't be downright rude about it! If she was five, I'd understand, but by the time she's a teenager it's either accidental (in which case she needs told she's doing it) or deliberate (in which case she's cruel and deserves what she got).

Perhaps she was trying to be sympathetic in saying "I'm glad I don't have problems like that", and it came off the wrong way. I still think she should be informed of this. Her job isn't to feel good about herself, it's to help customers and provide them with an enjoyable shopping experience, end of story. If this means that she gets told off by her manager, or fired because she can't seem to do her job, so be it. I would suggest to the OP that if you report it and you think it did seem like she was trying to be nice, tell the manager this and emphasise that it was accidental but that it was nevertheless hurtful behaviour that ought to be stopped.


Heartily agree. Whatever her reason for this behavior, she needs to be told it is not acceptable.

Hay22
October 22nd, 2009, 06:03 PM
That's a Hutterite for you, making fun of shoes and sometimes cloths and the funny thing is that when they all get together and go to town, the girls head for the shoe section at walmart and try on high heels. My husband was also a Hutterite that left the colony. My friend I am talking about is actually his cousin. We just became really good friends after she left the colony and she stayed with us for a while. I hope you liked Montana. The bad part is the winter but the summer is great.


I did love Montana, it was so beautiful... and the winter was miserable. Sadly, I didn't handle the shoe situation too well. I said "Nice bonnet" and made a face at the poor girl.

Cinnamon Hair
October 22nd, 2009, 09:58 PM
What approach should be taken if we go back to that store and there is a repeat of this?

Not to make light of your situation, but this sounds almost comical. You could ask her when her next shampoo commercial audition is? Or throw out flower petals when she starts flipping her hair? :D Maybe I'm envisioning it all wrong, but what an idiot! The picture I'm getting makes me crack up. This girl that materializes whenever you enter the hair care aisle, asks if you need help, then starts swishing her hair around. Oh man :flasher: she's like one of these :flasher: but with hair.

prittykitty
October 23rd, 2009, 12:03 AM
Not to make light of your situation, but this sounds almost comical. You could ask her when her next shampoo commercial audition is? Or throw out flower petals when she starts flipping her hair? :D Maybe I'm envisioning it all wrong, but what an idiot! The picture I'm getting makes me crack up. This girl that materializes whenever you enter the hair care aisle, asks if you need help, then starts swishing her hair around. Oh man :flasher: she's like one of these :flasher: but with hair.
I guess this girl works in that section. We were just a little stunned by the comments she made. I have seen many people who play with their hair in public. It doesn't even phase me. The only reason this particular incident caught my attention was because of the comments such as when she said "I'm so glad I don't have any hair problems" as she twirled it in her fingers and then said "my hair has always been so thick" as she pulled it up and let it all fall down. My friend was looking for products to help her own hair grow back and this girl didn't help the situation. I go to a salon for my conditioner and the stylist there has very nice hair and she does not flaunt it or anything like that and is a very nice person who has always been helpful to me. I would take my friend there but unfortunately they don't have the kind of products she is looking for.

Many on here have said that my friend should have her thyroid checked or that it may be something medical. The truth is that she is young and in very good health. The reason her hair has a thinning bald spot on the crown is because she is from a Hutterite colony and the women there never wear their hair down. It is always pulled into tight braids and then wrapped into a very tight bun. Then they cover their hair with two different caps, one is like a white bonnet and the other is the main big thick shawl like bonnet that covers the first one. They never cut their hair and their bangs are very long and rolled under and pulled back and wrapped around the bun. Most of these women have very long hair but some have thinning hair from being tightly wrapped and covered 24/7. Yes, they sleep in the white bonnet to keep their hair in place until they wash it again. Most times when they take the bonnet off and their hair down and comb it, they have a lot of shedding and many develop cradle cap. This is what happened to my friends hair. Women on the colony are not allowed to have their hair down or uncovered at any time unless they are in their own homes and most never bother to take it down because they have to put it back up again and cover it if they leave the house for anything. It's a religious thing.

Of course I am going to go back to that store eventually. If this same girl approaches us and asks us if we need help I will say yes. If she starts up again like the last couple times, I will simply say "I am very happy for you but honestly I don't care about your hair. We are looking for products for our hair. Then I will tell her that "it is not cool to make snide comments and show off your hair in that manner, especially in front of people who have hair problems that you are supposed to be helping because it can make them feel somewhat embarrassed and surly this is not what you are trying to accomplish, are you?" I will then see what her answer is.

Fethenwen
October 23rd, 2009, 12:52 AM
Oh my. Your friend could really use some head massage, maybe that would help a little. Along with some oils, I think there is a oil for hair thinning thread here somewhere that you might want to check out.
The main problem here seems to be as you said the hair pulling, but I also believe a lack of blood circulation might be a problem too. That is often a reason for shedding too.

prittykitty
October 23rd, 2009, 12:59 AM
Oh my. Your friend could really use some head massage, maybe that would help a little. Along with some oils, I think there is a oil for hair thinning thread here somewhere that you might want to check out.
The main problem here seems to be as you said the hair pulling, but I also believe a lack of blood circulation might be a problem too. That is often a reason for shedding too.
Do you know what kind of oil it is? This would be a great start for her.

Lamb
October 23rd, 2009, 06:53 AM
Has your friend had her scalp checked for fungi? If cradle cap is that widespread in the colony where she came from, I imagine covering 24/7 might help the spread of fungi as well.
Hope she finds a solution soon. Hairloss from pulling can cause alopecia which might or might not be permanent. Honestly, a trichologist or dermatologist could tell better than a salesperson at Walgreens.

SHELIAANN1969
October 23rd, 2009, 07:04 AM
I did love Montana, it was so beautiful... and the winter was miserable. Sadly, I didn't handle the shoe situation too well. I said "Nice bonnet" and made a face at the poor girl.

It's kind of hard to be diplomatic when someone is making fun of you. I could see people wondering or making remarks about shoes or clothes on a rack at the store, but when *someone* is wearing them and they are poking fun, that is completely rude and unacceptable, I don't care what their group usually does. :shrug: There is no call for bad manners.

I was in Kroger getting a Flu shot and kept smelling smoke, cigarette smoke, it was aggravating me and I said to my husband *Oh my god, I keep smelling smoke! where it it coming from? do you smell it?* then he pointed discreetly at 2 women who were about 12 feet away from me, they were looking at me with their eyes bugged out like *eeeeeeek* I wasn't making remarks at them, but it stunk in there! I shut up when he pointed it out, but I never said, Oh my...*you stink* :o

JamieLeigh
October 23rd, 2009, 10:39 AM
I would complain to a manager. That is bad customer service. Twice.

Ditto this! :( The object of the store is to try to gain business, not to make customers want to shop elsewhere!

natorade
October 24th, 2009, 08:06 PM
hmmmm I believe in Karma. What goes around comes around. Maybe she will end up with a bad hair mishap herself. I have this problem with a couple of girls I work with. they are always flipping their hair and flaunting it. I just tell myself that my hair will grow and will once again be beautiful, but unfortunately they will always be ugly on the inside. Ugly on the inside makes ugly on the outside in my opinion.