Could we have an adult topic subforum?

[Elettaria]

I've noticed that the Health and Body Beautiful forum is getting a fair number of posts with fairly adult topics (mostly medical), where people are unsure how much we're allowed to discuss things and using such a crazy level of euphemisms that a thread can go on for several pages before anyone works out what is actually being asked. I think it would be much easier if there were a subforum where the rules were relaxed enough to make discussion clearer, and where members had to be vetted before being allowed to read or post (e.g. aged over 18, had already made a minimum number of posts). This would also allow greater privacy for the discussions. We could still set up rules for what language and topics would be permitted, which I don't think would cause any difficulties, although since I am frankly unsure what is currently allowed I can't start making suggestions!

[magpielaura]

I'm greatly enjoying the euphemisms! There is some highly creative use of language going on. Figuring out whats being discussed can set the imagination off on some odd tangents...

I see your point though. Interested to see what others think, though wouldn't an "adult" section attract the weirdos?

[Elettaria]

Some of the euphemisms are entertaining, I agree, but overall it's really starting to irritate the &£%& out of me. There are people having entire conversations about sex toys or menopausal vaginal dryness without daring to say those words, and they're hardly obscene. If we don't want the fourteen year olds seeing these discussions, or don't want random people surfing the net to see them, I think there are better ways forward than simply wading in murky language. I quite like being able to discuss such issues frankly, as long as the environment is safe enough.

"Adult" probably wouldn't be the best title, you're right, I just haven't thought of a suitable one yet. "Intimate health issues"? Perhaps with a means of marking threads if the poster would prefer to keep them women-only? I wouldn't want to restrict the entire forum, that would be unfair to our male minority, but sometimes women do feel easier discussing such issues in a women-only area. Or men-only threads, come to that. I think the level of respect in this community is high enough for such a system to work using an honour system, and you could just put "women/men only" in the thread title. Not that I'm trying to enforce a binary gender system here, of course!

[pgw]

Isn't that what the TMI social group is for?

[Elettaria]

We have a TMI social group?

A lot of the discussion about this seems to be happening here (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=34966&page=5).

[Carolyn]

At one time, at the old version of LHC, we had such a sub forum. I can't recall exactly what happened but things went bad. The mods decided LHC was better off without it. Perhaps a mod will step in and explain better.

[Elettaria]

Is there any chance it might work better if it were done differently this time around? Sometimes things snowball, and a fresh start after the experience can avoid the earlier mistakes.

Failing that, perhaps we could have a marking system for posts within the Health and Body Beautiful forum, then, so that the ones with more explicit discussion would be clearly marked? And some guidance as to what is permitted?

[florenonite]

Isn't that what the TMI social group is for?

The problem with social groups is it's much harder to get responses to an important question; they're more for casual discussion IME.

There is a "Sensitive Issues" board over at TBB, but it doesn't have the same kind of traffic as LHC.

Perhaps a clarification of what is and isn't acceptable on the boards would be useful, as I think some things might be acceptable but people are afraid of getting into trouble so they skirt around the issue. For instance, are biological terms allowed? It would make discussion much easier if people use biological terms for body parts rather than euphemisms, because a lot of these euphemisms are very culturally-specific, which makes them difficult to understand with the wide range of different cultures here.

[eadwine]

Personally.. and I am Dutch so I automatically consider myself VERY open-minded ;) but I'd rather see these threads gone. Fun is fun, but this is too friendly if you ask me. They should better be directed at either a sex therapist or a site geared for those specific issues.

[Elettaria]

eadwine, would you prefer to see them kept in their own safe little forum, or gone altogether? I think we definitely have to work with varying comfort levels here, which is why I reckon a separate forum would be a good way to go.

[cobblersmaid]

I think the old forum like that got out of hand, or something. We could try to move them over to TBB.

[eadwine]

eadwine, would you prefer to see them kept in their own safe little forum, or gone altogether? I think we definitely have to work with varying comfort levels here, which is why I reckon a separate forum would be a good way to go.

I am not quite sure.. but I do feel things like that have gone waaayyyyy beyond LHC's goal. :?

[enfys]

I think those threads appear here because it's pretty easy to feel like you're among friends and can discuss such issues. It's not hair related but there is such a group here with so many helpful suggestions to all sorts of things it's like a first stop for any problems. You'll almost certainly get good advice.

I agree that a sub-forum would be good, or just clearer guidelines on what's allowed. Are knee-poles neccessary? Off topic things aren't available to google searches if you have to be logged in or something.

I sometimes get so frustrated by these things I never read on to find out the actual subject.

[harpgal]

I think the old forum like that got out of hand, or something.As a former mod, I can tell you that is what happened. Things simply got out of hand and the "powers that be" thought it was wise to dump that particular area. If you want to discuss personal things, I think it is a better idea to use the PM system or meet at another more appropriate board (forum).

[eadwine]

Harpgal worded exactly my feelings on this :)

[mooglewoo]

On TBB, you know how there is a hair area, and then right underneath it a "Long hair community discussion boards" link, where when you click it, you get routed here? Can we have a little link like that under Health & Body Beautiful that takes you to the Sensitive issues of TBB? I would think a direct link would get more traffic than just telling someone to go ask over there.

[physicschick]

Isn't that what the TMI social group is for?
It's still subject to the same PG-13 rules as the rest of the site, so it's not completely open to all types of discussion.

Thanks, Tasarwen, for the explanation. The old Sensitive Issues board predates me, so I don't know the details of what went wrong, but I gather it went quite badly. (I seem to recall it was a perv magnet.) I very much doubt we'd want to try something like that again.

Somebody asked for clarification of what is acceptable discussion. The off topic boards, including the health board, are not accessible to web crawlers or people who aren't logged in. Therefore, it's not necessary to star out words that you don't want showing up on Google, since Google can't see those threads anyway. Using anatomically accurate words, rather than euphemisms, has been successfully done on occasion. We review each case individually, so I don't want to make any blanket statements, but generally threads on medical issues that use medical terminology have been fine. Threads with titillating details about sex are far less fine. Some particularly graphic threads have been deleted in the past.

[amaiaisabella]

I am not quite sure.. but I do feel things like that have gone waaayyyyy beyond LHC's goal. :?

FWIW, I agree with you. I'm a little uncomfortable knowing that much about people I've never met, but I can definitely respect a forum where people are comfortable enough to ask those questions without being harshly judged. That sort of made more sense in my head, but I hope it makes sense. :flower:

[WaimeaWahine]

For the safety and privacy of users I think these types of discussions should be taken somewhere else.

The top health answerer at Yahoo Answers concerning women's health, can be PM'd. She's smart and mature and has battled many issues herself. She's a good person to talk to. I prefer people take intimate questions to open sites like that or Ask Alice. Sooner or later we're going to start showing up in some really scary Google searches and attract the wrong kind of attention. :rolleyes:

Surely there are people - friends, family, doctors - in real life that can answer some of the questions being posted here. :twocents:

[Teacherbear]

On TBB, you know how there is a hair area, and then right underneath it a "Long hair community discussion boards" link, where when you click it, you get routed here? Can we have a little link like that under Health & Body Beautiful that takes you to the Sensitive issues of TBB? I would think a direct link would get more traffic than just telling someone to go ask over there.

I'm not totally sure the Sensitive Issues board at TBB is members only or not, and I don't have time to research it. It is safest to proceed as if it is opened to everyone on the internet, or at least who is a member at TBB.

At this time, I don't see us linking to anything over at TBB beyond the link that we currently have. I understand the wish for a link, but I think what we currently have is sufficient. After all, I'm not sure anyone wants "certain types" of people (who wish to read up on sensitive topics) to follow the links from here to there and infiltrate TBB. TBB is a nice, quite little haven for those who enjoy posting over there.

[Delila]

In just a very general way, I recall that the old sensitive issues board created more than it's fair share of drama and headaches for the moderators.

[magpielaura]

I was just thinking about this again, and realized that most of these "personal" type threads get tagged in a way by the person who started it - in most cases TMI is in the title somewhere. This of course makes me click there right away:D (does that make me one of those "certain types" of person?) but it makes this kind of stuff easy to avoid if you are annoyed by it.

To be honest it is the eclectic mix of things that get discussed here that keeps me coming back. There is something new to be found in the hair information all the time; but if I wasn't here finding out more that I thought I wanted to know about someone on another continents difficulties with intimate playthings I would miss the latest developments in bizzare haircare recipes and elaborate updos.

[Calista]

I think proper age verification would be a lot of hassle, especially as this is an international forum. And sometimes I feel that the use of euphemisms is starting to get out of hand here. I don´t have any knowledge of the legal situation in the USA, but surely even under 13-year-olds would know the proper terms for various body parts, including genitalia? Why is vaginal dryness such a shameful issue, while, let´s say, nasal dryness could be discussed openly? ;)

I do realize that things are more restricted in the USA (obviously - as for example pictures showing n*pples, buttcracks or p*bic hair would not be considered inappropriate in Germany), but IMO it would be better to discuss things openly and matter-of-fact without the use of euphemisms, and those things that cannot be discussed thus - well, there are plenty of sites on the web for that.

[Amoretti]

Calista, I agree.

I always use anatomically correct terms here and much prefer them to euphemisms because so many euphemisms can be quite coy and even teasing, :rolleyes: which spoils the point of such a thread asking for honest information.

I honestly don't see the problem with using words such as "breast", n*pples", "p*nis", buttocks, etc. I prefer them to "rack", "knee-poles" (ridiculous term anyway), "male organ", "butt crack", etc. :rolleyes::rolleyes: We should be calling the human body by its proper terms and stop being so coy. LOL. There's nothing even vaguely nasty or offensive about proper terms, IMO.

[Calista]

Knee-poles??? You´re kidding me. http://cheesebuerger.de/images/smilie/froehlich/c040.gif

[lapushka]

... never mind

[magpielaura]

Knee-poles??? You´re kidding me. http://cheesebuerger.de/images/smilie/froehlich/c040.gif

You wouldn't believe how long I sat here trying to figure out what that could be.:rolleyes: Why on earth would you not type n*pple for goodness sake?

It reminds me of of a set of photos someone put up of statues (they had great hair-dos) - they put daisies over the n*pples! That cracked me up, I always hoped they did it as a joke and not because they thought it might cause offense.

[Nightshade]

Knee-poles??? You´re kidding me. http://cheesebuerger.de/images/smilie/froehlich/c040.gif


You wouldn't believe how long I sat here trying to figure out what that could be.:rolleyes: Why on earth would you not type nipple for goodness sake?

ROFL :lol:

I'm so glad I'm not the only one that stared at the screen going :confused: at "knee-poles" the first time I saw it.

[Tresses]

ROFL :lol:

I'm so glad I'm not the only one that stared at the screen going :confused: at "knee-poles" the first time I saw it.

You weren't alone. In fact, I still didn't get it until magpielaura told us what it was. :rolleyes:

First three words in my mind when I read this thread title:

Oh.
Please.
No.

...for reasons already explained.

[Amoretti]

It took me days to figure out the knee-poles first time I saw them mentioned on a thread here. :lol: I thought it was a kind of knee condition. :lol:

[eresh]

You weren't alone. In fact, I still didn't get it until magpielaura told us what it was. :rolleyes:



Me too, I was thinking Whaaa?
I wouldn't have figured it out if it hadn't been explained here!

[snowbear]

While "knee-poles" confused me at first, it is a sensible way to circumvent savvy searchers.

Most members know that if you search for a three-letter word--for example, "oil"--that the search feature doesn't allow for it. However, if you search for "oil*" the asterisk widens the search to contain anything including "oil", "oils", "oiled", etc. (And if you didn't, you're probably off testing this now. You're welcome! :lol:)
The same asterisk rule applies to placing the asterisk inside a word, or at the front of the word. Using the asterisk inside the word will elude some nefarious searchers, but not all. By using a homonym, it severely reduces the risk.

The piercing thread--which I assume you all are referencing--gets a lot of views daily, most of which are not from the active posters on that thread. This makes it a popular thread, so as a way of eluding the opportunistically-one-handed members we use the homonym rather than the selectively censored word.

(I will admit, though, that the wording first eluded me, too. I'd taken a year of Anotomy and Physiology, and couldn't for the life of me figure out where exactly on the knee such a piercing would go--as I distinctly did not remember any poles on the knee. Then I had my "Aha!" moment, and promptly fell over laughing at my obtuseness.)

ETA: And to not completely hijack this thread, I am also against the idea of another SI board, though I can certainly see the appeal.

[magpielaura]

I was really suprised to see letters starred out when I typed the translation of knee pole - they are not my stars! I had no idea it is considered a naughty word, I considered it an anatomical one. I'm now tempted to try a whole load of words to see which get starred..... I won't though (note to self - must be good, must be good)

[florenonite]

I was really suprised to see letters starred out when I typed the translation of knee pole - they are not my stars! I had no idea it is considered a naughty word, I considered it an anatomical one. I'm now tempted to try a whole load of words to see which get starred..... I won't though (note to self - must be good, must be good)

You've probably noticed this one before, but the British term that tends to be used instead of snicker gets starred out.

snowbear: I think your post highlights what I think people (including myself!) sometimes forget with the OT forums, which is that an unsavoury person can join up and lurk and see what you post there without making him/herself known to the community. Hence it's important to still have some degree of care when posting there because otherwise the one-handed surfers who have joined up (probably because they like hair, but still) can still search for words and find threads.

[Calista]

Well, just yesterday it was possible to type words like p*nis or n*pple - today those words get starred out. I think this is just ridculous. Why not a*m for arm or he*d for head? I really don´t see the difference. :shrug:

[Carolyn]

:spitting: @ me! I FINALLY figures out where one's "knee poles" are located! Someone in this thread said to say it out loud.

[florenonite]

Well, just yesterday it was possible to type words like p*nis or n*pple - today those words get starred out. I think this is just ridculous. Why not a*m for arm or he*d for head? I really don´t see the difference. :shrug:

Neither of yours were starred out just now :confused:

[Calista]

Neither of yours were starred out just now :confused:
I know; weird, huh? ;) Yet in my last posting (yesterday) they were starred out later - they weren´t originally. Ditto Amoretti´s post yesterday. They weren´t starred out originally, either.

I can only imagine a moderator "attending" to the matter later on; but in that case I´d expect it to be clearly visible that a mod had altered a post.

[mooglewoo]

I can only imagine a moderator "attending" to the matter later on; but in that case I´d expect it to be clearly visible that a mod had altered a post.

...or expect all posts to be altered, not just yours and Amoretti's.

[Flaxen]

Well, just yesterday it was possible to type words like p*nis or n*pple - today those words get starred out. I think this is just ridculous. Why not a*m for arm or he*d for head? I really don´t see the difference. :shrug:
It's not ridiculous, actually. The Site Support Board is googlable, and we do our best to protect the site from people who might search "long hair p e n i s," for example. I know people who are looking for hair talk and pictures to satisfy their urges can still find us, but that doesn't mean we're not even going to try. :twocents:

[PseudoScot]

I am also not a fan of an Adult sub forum and have noticed the trend lately of more adult topics. Just because people are comfortable discussing things here doesn't mean they should be discussed. I think there are other forums out there far more suitable to such topics/interests. IMHO it's outside the purview of this board. People can think of that being limiting/narrow minded etc but oh well, the site has the right to limit what goes on here. Folks here are open and friendly when discussing some things but again, I don't think this is the best place for it. Just my :twocents:

[snowbear]

snowbear: I think your post highlights what I think people (including myself!) sometimes forget with the OT forums, which is that an unsavoury person can join up and lurk and see what you post there without making him/herself known to the community. Hence it's important to still have some degree of care when posting there because otherwise the one-handed surfers who have joined up (probably because they like hair, but still) can still search for words and find threads.
Precisely! :)

Also, our members are expected to be 13+, hence the PG-13 rating. In my opinion, "adult" threads do not serve to foster a sense of community here on THLC. :twocents:

[Nightshade]

This is all leading me to wonder what constitutes an "adult topic." We have threads (epic ones at that) on IUD and Mooncups, reusable pads and putting coochie cream on heads.

I'm not debating where the line is, but I'm curious where these items fall for those that feel adult topics are outside of the scope of LHC's intended purpose :)

[ClareDee]

I am also not a fan of an Adult sub forum and have noticed the trend lately of more adult topics. Just because people are comfortable discussing things here doesn't mean they should be discussed.

Just because people are comfortable publically disapproving of certain recent threads (thereby risking the feelings of those thread-starters) doesn't mean they should, imo.

:flower:

[Nat242]

This site isn't a democracy, and the owner and moderators can control content in whatever way they see fit. I also understand that "adult" topics may seem to be outside the scope of a long hair forum.

However, we are also fond of saying that this forum is about friendship. If you have an awkward or personal question to ask, wouldn't you rather go to a place you trust, and ask people who you are familiar with, even friends with, and one where you have a certain "claim" by being an active participant who helps with other posters' questions?

Or would you hunt out a new forum - one where you're a complete noob, where you are asking for help without reciprocating, where you aren't familiar with anyone and no-one's familiar with you, where you may have to "prove" yourself as a genuine poster before people are all that willing to open up to you?

I can completely understand why people want to post "adult" questions here, amongst friends, and where they have a certain level of credibility as a contributor to the wonderful community we have here.

That said, I'm not advocating an adult topic sub forum. It's been tried before, and it failed. I understand if the owner/mods wouldn't want to try something out that history tells them will be a PITA.

[Dianyla]

TLHC is intended to be a family friendly site generally appropriate for people aged 13 and up. :flower: