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LilacTea
October 17th, 2009, 07:53 PM
Hello,
This is my first post as a new member. I have been growing my hair out for 1 1/2 years and it now comes to about 2 inches below shoulder length. I want to grow it to the middle of my back. My problem is that I am overly bothered by my split ends. I search and destroy them often and get really frustrated because no matter what I keep finding them. The thing is that I think by most people's standards I have healthy hair, but I am such a perfectionist about it that having any splits at all bothers me. I treat my hair gently (use sulfate free shampoo, a wide tooth comb, no hair dye, no blow drying), so why do I still have them? The only thing I may do wrong is I wear my hair down a lot (would wearing it up help?).
So, my question is: Are a certain amount of split ends just inevitable? If so, how might I relax and stop focusing on them so much? Has anyone learned to accept imperfections in their hair? Any advice would be much appreciated.
Thanks everyone!:pumpkin:

Alexannee10
October 17th, 2009, 07:59 PM
I have the same problem has you .. I have a lot of split ends. I cut them when I see one (sometimes I could cut them for hours lol), and I trim my hair regulary, using biologic shampoo, no heat etc .. But I still have split ends. I think maybe some kinds of hair are more easily damaged than others .. Mine are more fragile since I've been using straightener. I'll never use that thing again loll .. I think we will have to leave with them until we will have cut them all. In a few years. Lol.

PS: And welcome to LHC !

Amara
October 17th, 2009, 08:11 PM
From personal experience and reading so much on here - it seems like some hair types are more prone them than others - even if you have no damage and are gentle. I don't know what to tell you about *how* to quit stressing about it, but you definitely should. What if you set aside 10 minutes per week (or 2 per day, or 1 hr per week, or whatever, a reasonable amount for yourself) and limit yourself to that? What I used to do is try to find 10 every day and snip them. Once I'd found 10 I made myself quit. So I felt like I was making a little progress each day and it helped me not worry about it too much.

Faolan
October 17th, 2009, 08:18 PM
I get terrible splits all the time. It doesn't seem to matter how nice I am to my hair, they're always there. I could also trim for hours so I mostly try not to freak out about it, but it still really bothers me. If I ever find anything good for it, I'll let you know.

Merewen
October 17th, 2009, 08:36 PM
Maybe something in your routine is causing them? I thought I was just doomed to them too. Turns out I get them when I wash with a shampoo bar. Trying a different washing method like CO could help.

clairenewcastle
October 17th, 2009, 08:49 PM
The ends of my hair have always split badly no matter how gently I've treated it. A lot of time over the years has been spent searching and destroying with the scissors, but to no avail. They just keep on coming back.
There's a very interesting thread "Catnip for Spilt Ends" which I've found very informative about how to prevent them. I recently got my first batch of catnip and although it's still too soon to see if it prevents any new split ends forming, it's very, very moisturizing on my hair.
Don't worry too much about having split ends though - enjoy your hair!

spidermom
October 18th, 2009, 08:46 AM
I get lots of split ends, too, and searching for them and snipping them off make me really depressed about my hair. Lately I've been mentally slapping my hands and putting my hair up when I find myself lifting a strand or my braid tassel to look for splits. I'm going to have regular small trims and hope that keeps splitting under control. I know it won't get all of them because hairs that are shorter split, too. I do try to prevent them with gentle handling. However, I can't treat my hair like antique lace and put it under glass in a place that never gets direct sunlight. It has to go where I go.

Cherry_Sprinkle
October 18th, 2009, 09:04 AM
I have just come to the conclusion that people with wavy or curly hair are going to just end up with more splits, my stylist seems to agree with me on that, and the finer your hair is, the easier it splits. I S&D often and I have splits here and there but a few things I have found to help me avoid them as much as possible. I haven't had a salon trim in 6 months and my visit yesterday she told me I didn't need one this time and might only need one next time because my ends are fairytailing and looking thin (I don't mind that!) and I am a chemical redhead with henna & cassia over top.

I started using catnip soaks (look for the catnip thread on LHC) it really does help, but I have found a very strong dose works for me really well. S&D often, if you find a split, snip it. Then cassia/henna treatments. I also use a lot of oil and wear my hair up a lot of the time.. and I am silicone and sulfate free most of the time. :flower:

Sissy
October 18th, 2009, 11:55 AM
You are not alone. I also struggle with split ends to the point of wondering if my shears and all the S&Ding are causing them to resplit for some reason. I know that sounds silly but I don't really remember seeing them before I started S&Ding but that is probably because I wasn't taking care of my hair back then LOL.

I think those of us who don't like to trim often are more prone to splits. I tried catnip tea soaks a few times but lost patience... but I really think I need to start it up again and give it another chance as there are a few here who say it has done wonders for their splits. I keep telling myself my splits are from the old damaged hair that I used to flat iron... but I'm not even so sure about that. I sometimes see splits WAY up the hair shaft and I trim them... losing 6 inches or more of hair. That is depressing! I often wonder if I should trim those splits when they're so far up the shaft... but what can you do? If I leave it it might only split up the shaft further :mad:

So, although I'm nobody great to be giving advice in this topic (given my own problem with splits) I would say maybe give catnip tea soaks a chance or perhaps use a coney leave in which helps to detangle and protect hair from tangling.

Rivanariko
October 18th, 2009, 12:09 PM
I have seem to have lots of splits no matter how gently I treat my hair as well. If I can see them, I obsess over them. Keeping my hair up has really helped me not think about them I put it up in a bun, and out of sight, out of mind. Braids work to some degree, though I tend to look at the tassle sitting on my shoulder and spot them, which irks me. There's probably something in my routine that I need to change to help prevent them, but my hair is so delicate, I think I'm always going to have some splits and breakage.
Stretching washes and banishing my brush really made a difference though. I've noticed a lot less since then.

jojo
October 18th, 2009, 12:51 PM
I have fine wavy hair and mine splits and breaks no matter what I do. I don't do s&d anymore I just trim twice a year. I also always have a drop of oil on my ends which really helps.

I had highlights really subtle ones put in, in summer and I have noticed no difference at all so I just ignore them now and put it down to with long hair of my type I will always be prone to them.

longhairedfairy
October 18th, 2009, 12:53 PM
Putting your hair up might help reduce damage caused by friction.:)

ktani
October 18th, 2009, 03:31 PM
"Trichoptilosis syn. Fragilitis Crinium ' Split ends ' hairshafts become dry and exhibit splits. These splits can flay - reminiscent of feathers. The condition is caused by excessive exposure to heat treatments with tongs, straightening irons, hairdriers etc., and chemical trauma of the hair-shaft. Such damage canmnot currently be repaired but new generations of hair-shafts will be less vulnerable if regimes of greater care are employed...." (http://www.hairscientists.org/trichoptilosis.htm)

I have found this to be true. I no longer get split ends because in my opinion and I am currently dealing with too much moisture, catnip moisturizes my hair. Split ends are not inevitable, as I once believed.

The causes listed are the most well known. Hair can get dried out for a number of reasons and keeping moisture in hair can be difficult. Whether it is a catnip treatment or a different regimen used, split ends are a result of hair that is too dry. I only wear my hair up to do chores. I still have no split ends. I have reduced friction by using satin bedding and finger separating my hair but that is about mechanical breakage, not splits.

LilacTea
October 18th, 2009, 07:14 PM
Wow, thanks so much for the help everyone! All of the tips and encouragement make me feel so much better. I will look into the catnip method and try to wear my hair up more so I won't be looking for them so much. It sounds like maybe this is partly just due to my hair type, but now I have some ideas to try out. Even knowing I'm not the only one with this problem is reassuring. It is so nice that this community exists, thanks again for the support!:)

JamieLeigh
October 18th, 2009, 07:44 PM
What if you set aside 10 minutes per week (or 2 per day, or 1 hr per week, or whatever, a reasonable amount for yourself) and limit yourself to that? What I used to do is try to find 10 every day and snip them. Once I'd found 10 I made myself quit. So I felt like I was making a little progress each day and it helped me not worry about it too much.

This sounds like great advice. I too am pretty OCD about my hair, and it's difficult for me to stop once I get started. I may try this suggestion also.

Flynn
October 18th, 2009, 07:48 PM
I've never heat-styled. I've never used any chemical treatments on my hair. It's shampoo and conditioner (and now oil) only for me. I'm gentle with it.

I still have hundreds of thousands of splits.

Is just is.

I figure no-one else is really going to notice or care, and I can't be bothered to worry about them.

Toadstool
October 19th, 2009, 02:51 AM
I used to get obsessed and agitated in the same way as a drug addict craving heroin or more likely OCD. When my hair was longer so that I could see it without a mirror I was constantly picking up the ends and investigating them. I remember being on a train and getting off at an interin station, running madly round the shops to try and find some scissors.
My solution was to keep my hair shorter than I could see it, but obviously it won't work for anyone who wants long hair. Maybe tie it back?

Arctic
October 19th, 2009, 03:53 AM
Hello,
This is my first post as a new member. I have been growing my hair out for 1 1/2 years and it now comes to about 2 inches below shoulder length. I want to grow it to the middle of my back. My problem is that I am overly bothered by my split ends. I search and destroy them often and get really frustrated because no matter what I keep finding them. The thing is that I think by most people's standards I have healthy hair, but I am such a perfectionist about it that having any splits at all bothers me. I treat my hair gently (use sulfate free shampoo, a wide tooth comb, no hair dye, no blow drying), so why do I still have them? The only thing I may do wrong is I wear my hair down a lot (would wearing it up help?).
So, my question is: Are a certain amount of split ends just inevitable? If so, how might I relax and stop focusing on them so much? Has anyone learned to accept imperfections in their hair? Any advice would be much appreciated.
Thanks everyone!:pumpkin:

You are not alone. I don't personally have split ends per se, but my ends get other kind of damage and weathering and I obsessively S&D them. I am quite sure everybody have some damaged ends. Everybody have different standards to their hair.

I am working on accepting my hair 100%, it can be done but takes conscious efforts. I give my hair scissors to my fiance to hide them regularly. I am now trying a plan where I would S&D only one session after my trims, I trim 4 times a year. I have high hopes about this plan.
If you are interested in a bit of magic, you could try only trimming and S&Ding according to the moon's cycles. That would limit your obsession time-wise.
Other that that, if this is a new thing to you that you have caught after joining, I am positive it will pass. It's so common for new members to get obssessed.

julliams
October 19th, 2009, 05:48 AM
Hmmm - I have wavy hair with no split ends but i know that I did when my hair was long (a long time ago). I used to snip the ends (like the search and destroy method you mentioned). I would think that maybe you might need to have a very small trim every 6 months and see if that helps. My understanding is that once the hair is split the split can travel up the hair and basically the hair splits in two.

Carolyn
October 19th, 2009, 06:06 AM
I believe some people's hair is just more prone to splits. Mine is. It's something I've had to accept. I do all I can to get rid of splits and to prevent new ones. But there is only so much you can do. You've gotten some great tips on gentle hair care that should help. The rest is just acceptance of what is.

nowxisxforever
October 19th, 2009, 06:09 AM
Some hairtypes definitely do get splits more than others...I get splits all through my length, not just in the bottom half that's pre-LHC...although the bottom half is horrendous for splits! I can S&D one day and the next day there are more!

Sissy
October 19th, 2009, 04:58 PM
Some hairtypes definitely do get splits more than others...I get splits all through my length, not just in the bottom half that's pre-LHC...although the bottom half is horrendous for splits! I can S&D one day and the next day there are more!

That's how I feel too... to the point of wondering if y scissors were at fault... but they are $30 scissors so much more quality than many pairs sold in shops, so I really don't think it's the scissors, think it's my hair!

Tressie
October 19th, 2009, 07:58 PM
I get a lot of splits too, and it's not just the ends. I'll bet if I could see the nape hairs they'd have splits too! I think dryness has something to do with it, but I can't see having lank oily hair either, so I guess it's just the way it is!

I do S&D about every other week or so, for around four hours at a time (while riding to my out of town job with DH at the wheel), and I never get every one! I also use some very expensive scissors which were a gift from DH.

I may try the catnip soaks! And, sigh, maybe more oil?!

Darkhorse1
October 19th, 2009, 09:51 PM
Split ends are inevitable unless you treat your hair like china. The longer it is, the more it will have friction and split. Also, depending on your lifestyle, it will have a higher risk of splitting if you are active etc.

I know many people here swear by catnip tea rinses for split ends. I have not tried this, but you can check on the herbal remedies section here. It does discolor hair, which is why I do not use it.

A client of mine is hard on her hair, but has no split ends. I've been careful (well, gentler than I used to be) on mine, but still see the odd splits now and again. I try not to bother and just get my trims every three months, or when needed.

Good luck!

ktani
October 19th, 2009, 10:28 PM
Catnip can stain hair a light blonde, not yellow in the sense that most people mean it but a colour between warm and ash. It is not permanent and washes out fairly easily with shampoo. On darker shades of hair it would not be noticable in my opinion but it can and has been reported to cover grey/white hair, like it has for me.

yogachic
October 20th, 2009, 09:59 PM
I had tons of splits at the bottom 4-5 inches of my hair. In may I got all the damage cut off. I oiled damp hair with coconut oil, and did some dry oilings with it too. Also occasional use of shea, and jojoba oils. 5 monts later I have no splits yet, and I love it.

Darkhorse1
October 20th, 2009, 10:17 PM
I have found oilings have greatly helped the condition of my ends. I'd try all the suggestions here and see which one your hair likes best :)

Kris Dove
October 21st, 2009, 12:39 AM
I have a scheduled S&D session for about 10 minutes at the weekend and I won't let myself do it any more than that lest I become obsessed!