whoa, that was mean

[juliaxena]

I saw my sister tearing her hair with a brush. Literally chunks of broken hair were falling on the floor and it sounded horrible too. I begged her to treat her hair more nicely, I said it pains me when she does it. She said it pains her when I cut my hair. OK...but I have trims for my hair to be healthier. And she destroys her hair why??

[Pegasus Marsters]

It's her hair, leave her to treat it how she wants. It's really no one else's business but hers, to be honest. It's best not to emotionally attach to something as silly as someone else's hair, because ultimately you have no control over it whatsoever. I recently cut and now blow dry, flat iron and use a million products. Why? Because I want to. And that is the only reason your sister does what she does.

[juliaxena]

That's fine, but she has waist lenght hair and wants it pretty and then blames her breakage on her conditioner. I only meant well.

[Nat242]

I know you meant well, but I find that it's best not to give advice unless it's asked for.

[Pegasus Marsters]

Oh I'm sure you meant well. :) I didn't mean to sound harsh. Unfortunately people aren't going to take the advice even if they ask for it. I've had friends beg me for hair care advice then never go through with my suggestions because they cling to their flat irons so hard.

If she asks for advice, go ahead. :) If not... probably best to leave her be.

[rach]

if they want to take care of it it's got to really come from within evan it it makes you cringe at times shudder:

[Toadstool]

I recently cut and now blow dry, flat iron and use a million products.

In that case please can you advise me what type of product would weigh down short hair, kind of plaster it to the scalp to stop it being spikey?? thanks:)

[Pegasus Marsters]

In that case please can you advise me what type of product would weigh down short hair, kind of plaster it to the scalp to stop it being spikey?? thanks:)

I'm normally aiming to make my hair stand up, spike or flick, but I suggest some kind of wax or pomade which should be pretty heavy and avoid any kind of volumising. :)

[GlassEyes]

Or gel.

Yeah, you can't really change the way people care for their hair. It is THEIR hair, not your's, and usually they don't care all too much.

My sister sometimes bitches at me because I act like I know 'everything about hair', despitevery rarely talking to her about it. She's a cosmotology student, and hates that I know how to care for my hair. XD I mentioned, like, coconut oil to her once and a few other things when I'm asked what the hell I'm doing to my hair, and she flips. Heck, I asked her why a scalp treatment makes hair soft if you don't TOUCH anything but the scalp with i, and she freaked.

I can't imagine what would happen if I told her to stop doing something to her hair. xD; Sometimes she'll show interest in what I do, most of the time, she just glares at me.

That said, if it was the SOUND bothering you, you can work it form that angle than a health angle--tell her to close her door, or something.

[Toadstool]

I'm normally aiming to make my hair stand up, spike or flick, but I suggest some kind of wax or pomade which should be pretty heavy and avoid any kind of volumising. :)

Thank you:)

[nowxisxforever]

It is her hair in the end.

That said, people will do that around me too, and I don't necessarily tell them they're doing it wrong, I just grimace and make funny pained faces until they let me do it or demonstrate how to do it correctly. :)

Edit: Most people around me like me playing with / grooming their hair for them, oddly enough.

[spidermom]

My SIL did the same thing to me, except that she asked for my advice, and then blatantly ignored it. I think it's hard for some people to admit someone else might be right.

I was so impatient when I first learned about carefully combing out hair so as not to break it that I "forgot" at least half the time.

[hmmm]

Yeah, you can't really change the way people care for their hair. It is THEIR hair, not your's, and usually they don't care all too much.

My sister sometimes bitches at me because I act like I know 'everything about hair', despitevery rarely talking to her about it. She's a cosmotology student, and hates that I know how to care for my hair. XD I mentioned, like, coconut oil to her once and a few other things when I'm asked what the hell I'm doing to my hair, and she flips. Heck, I asked her why a scalp treatment makes hair soft if you don't TOUCH anything but the scalp with i, and she freaked.

I can't imagine what would happen if I told her to stop doing something to her hair. xD; Sometimes she'll show interest in what I do, most of the time, she just glares at me.

That said, if it was the SOUND bothering you, you can work it form that angle than a health angle--tell her to close her door, or something.

Haha, that sounds a lot like my sister! She has almost waist length, very wavy-almost curly hair that's so dry and frizzy that it looks like an afro sometimes! Especially when she 'styles' it (read: flat irons). It makes me shudder sometimes, but I don't say anything to her because it's really none of my business. It's not like she doesn't own mirrors or doesn't know what her hair feels like, so maybe she likes wearing it like that and treating it like that. :shrug:

[GlassEyes]

Yeah--'cept for all her mistreatment of it, and near-to-daily flatironing, my sister has really gorgeous, pin straight, 1a or 1b hair down to her hips. :p So whatever. I could never get away with it.

[JamieLeigh]

Ditto to what nearly everyone else has already said, lol. If someone isn't asking you for advice, best to just leave them alone because you're going to come across as bossy and know-it-all, even if you did mean well. Nobody likes to be patronized. :(

On the up side, though, if you're treating your hair well, then you will one day have very lovely, healthy long hair.....and then she might actually ask you for advice. :flower:

[nmarie33]

You should buy her a tangle teezer as a gift. I did that for my boyfriend because he NEVER takes the time to nicely brush his hair. Now he likes it a lot and he causes a lot less damage with his evil rough brushing ways!

[Dreamernz]

*Cringe* I give advice to everyone, just like they can do to their hair what they will, you can give as much advice as you want :D That's my philosophy, I'm sure it get's through subliminally :P:D

[JCFantasy23]

Ugh I used to do this kind of thing to my hair. Trust me, you keep paying for it!

[Amara]

Yeah, I know people like that. I leave the room while they're "grooming."

[pepperminttea]

I have a friend who does this, too. She has lovely natural cork-screw curls, but the noises that come from the bathroom when she brushes... oh dear. But her hair, and all that.

[NiAosSi]

I wouldn't care how she treats her hair. Maybe she was offended for the unwarranted advice. Just like most people on LHC complain about people telling them to cut their hair.

Next time, let her be. You will have beautiful hair and she will ratty hair!

[Alexannee10]

Awww when my friends tease their hair and you ear like "scrunch scrunch" .. I feel bad for the hair loll.

[twolunarspring]

I am confused as to why you think that was mean? Surely no meaner than you commenting on *her* hair? :-S

[prittykitty]

It was really good of you to tell your sister what you did. She may just be frustrated with her hair and not know what to do with it or where to turn for help. Tell her in a kind way that she has beautiful hair and that you want to help her in any way you can. Remind her of why you cut yours in the first place next time she brings it up. Show her some ways to improve the condition of her hair. You might even want to turn her onto this website.

Keeping quiet about it is not the way to go. She may do something she will regret. Only if she tells you to never speak to her about her hair again, then is the time to just let it go. I can remember as a child I had very long waist length hair. It was full of body and wave. Other kids were getting shorter haircuts and I was not allowed. My mother kept my hair very long. When I was a teenager I was finally allowed to have it cut. My mother was very upset and tried to stop me. She even told me that I will regret it someday and to not come to her later asking her why she didn't stop me from cutting it. I didn't listen. We were living in the late 70's and early 80's. I had my hair cut to below shoulder length in full feathered layers. To this day I regret cutting my hair in the first place. It has never been to my waist again and has lingered to below shoulder length and above since then. If only I had listened to my mother constantly telling me not to cut it I would not be waiting for years to come when my hair may or may not be that length again. Keep after your sister! You are helping her.

[Ravenwaves 88]

I don't know if this is just me but when I see someone's hair being mistreated or overly dyed....or just obviously abused I say to myself "Your hair hates you". Is that odd? LOL.

I just feel like if hair could talk......what would it say to you?

Oooo.....sounds like a new thread......ha ha.

[juliaxena]

It was mean because she is the only one in my family who knows that my hair was ruined because of what I did during an episode of my depression... I HAD to cut it and my recent trims were still meant to even my ends so my hair can finally grow. I will listen to you guys and won't give her advice any more. But to not tear your hair and intentionally break it really isn't rocket science is it? On top of that she doesn't want me to grow my hair to BSL now. I mentioned I want to after she said it pains her I cut it...but she really didn't like it, she was against it. Oh well. Next time I will close the door.

[adiapalic]

I told my older sister she shouldn't be ripping her brush through her hair because it's fine and very fragile, and that after I stopped doing it my hair grew in much thicker. She would just kinda laugh and say she's too impatient (she even has 1a/F/i/ii hair just below BSL... very low maintenance).

Yesterday she told me she had been brushing her hair better and that she thought to herself, "My sister would be proud of me!" I was so surprised that she even listened to me. She's also growing her hair out, so I guess she finally gave in with that incentive?

She's my sister, we give each other advice--sometimes we ignore it, sometimes we don't. I really don't think those social etiquette rules of abstaining from freely giving advice (especially polite advice) apply to sister-sister relationships--at least in my family.

Also, just take it with a grain of salt when she retorts with snarky things when you're trying to be helpful--that's sisters for you.