Hairphobia?

[YoginiCelestial]

I was shopping at the mall over the weekend and I happened to stop at a kiosk with cute doodads for your hair and the phoney ponys. I was drooling over the ornamental hair sticks and jeweled hair pins when the clerk came over to assist me.
She was so kind and willing to help, and seemed very eager to sell me everything on her cart! I inquired about the hair sticks and asked for her to explain how they should be worn. I thought she would just explain or demonstrate on her own hair. She immediately, without hesitation grabbed a stick and started to touch and twirl my hair, racking her fingers through it! All the while my eyes widened and I felt my heart beat faster and my unspoken words in my thoughts were "STOP TOUCHING MY HAIR"! I was so shocked that I felt this way. I don't think it was too odd that she felt comfortable enough to dive right in with her demonstration on my hair, but I didn't really see that coming! Haha!
I guess I just realized that I don't like anyone else touching my hair! I'm trying really hard to take good care of it and let it grow and it really caught me by surprise. I told her thank you very much and I would most likely be back another time, when I could make up my mind what I wanted.
Anyone else feel this way about their hair?

[Tinose]

I don't feel very comfortable with other people touching my hair either. If they're good friends and they've telegraphed in advance that they're going to, I'll probably let them. But that would have taken me entirely aback as well. It's one of the reasons I wear my hair up all the time, actually, since people generally aren't inclined to mess with hair that's already up.

[spidermom]

In general, no - I don't mind at all. If I did, I'd keep my hair covered like I do other places I don't want ogled or touched while I'm out in public.

There are exceptions, of course. If somebody were being really creepy or had a visible open wound - ewwwwwwwwwwwwww! Don't touch me!

[longhairedfairy]

She probably thought you seemed like the sort of person who is comfortable with others and, judging by your enthusiasm for the lovely hair items, assumed you would not mind. It sounds as though she meant it well, but I can certainly understand how that would feel weird/awkward to you.:flower:

[Gumball]

For me usually I don't let people touch it, but it really depends on who the person is and the reason for it. That's when my picky nature and concern about my hair's tendency to tangle come into play. I keep it up 99% of the time anyway.

Strangers for the most part are in the "no" category, and people I know more often than not are in the "sometimes" category depending on reason, moment, permission, etc.

The SO, bubbleguppy, on the other hand, tends to be in the "yes" category all the time. She's also familiar with how my hair acts, so I feel better in that regard. I can't french braid my own hair, so I taught her how to do it and can ask her to do it when need be.

[Niftytiffs]

People always touch my hair! Whether its a gentle tug of my braid or just reorganising my ponytail into a nice neat stream of hair down my back! One or two people I dont mind. I guess I have become used to them but I physically shy away from any situation where I think people might invade my personal space! I saw a similar kind of hair stall at a show and even though I wanted to have a look, I walked on past it as I didnt want be used to demonstrate their hair things!

Tiffers

[Siowiel]

I would object strongly to strangers touching my hair. If a salesperson would ask if she should demonstrate possible styles on me, that would probably be ok, like a hairdresser-setting.

But I like when friends/family brush my hair or (when I was in a relationship) my partner gently running through it with his fingers or curling it with his fingers (not with a hot iron!).

[Willheit]

I am soo with you there! I actually cut off my classic length hair several years ago in part because I could no longer deal with random creepy people coming up to me in public grabbing at my head. I have a very large bubble and have always had a difficult time keeping people out of it.

BTW, working my way back to classic length.... this time I'm armed with metal hair sticks! :luke:

[shadowclaw]

I'm ok with some people touching my hair, and I don't really mind if people are touching it because they like it.

I find that people who work at those kiosks can be quite pushy and are overly willing to touch you. They used to sell those spider-like head massagers and vibrating slippers at one, and the salespeople would always come at me with the massager and try to stick it on my head. I don't want that grubby thing touching me! Who knows who's head it's been on? Not to mention, it makes a mess of your hair. After getting attacked once, I made sure I told them exactly how I felt whenever they came near me again... I once even told them that I'd hurt them if they came near my head.

The dead sea minerals people are crazy, too. They always want to grab my hands and stick lotions and stuff on me. They like to buff thumb nails, too. I quickly learned that if I showed them my bitten fingernails, they'd leave me alone. Although the last time I tried that, I ended up buying some stuff because the girl immediately went into a big thing about how she used to bite her nails and how the product helped her and all that jazz. I got it at a good price though, and the lotion alone was well worth what I paid.

[katydid317]

I've never had random strangers touch my hair but I assume I wouldn't like it. Strangers shouldn't be touching you anywhere, sure hair isn't as private as say, boobs, but still. You wouldn't help a stranger into a bra at a lingerie store so why mess with their hair?

People I know I wouldn't have a problem with them touching my hair. I quite like it when DF runs his fingers through it. I've always like having other people brush it.

[Fencai]

that exact same thing happened to me when I was in Shanghai in the marketplace.
I found a nifty hair fork and although I knew how to use it, the adorable Chinese woman working there actually grabbed me by the shoulders, spun me around and whipped my hair up and put the fork in it, and had the mirrors out in a milisecond to show me how it looked!
I was shocked at first and then I saw the smile on her face and it cracked me up so bad that its a happy memory for me and I couldn't not feel comfortable (and just for the record, I bought two!)

[Kris Dove]

I find that people who work at those kiosks can be quite pushy and are overly willing to touch you.Yes indeed- the staff in places like that stall are trained to not be shy about touching the customers and demonstrating products on them, as seeing for themselves that the product works, or looks good on, is probably it's best selling point- not just for that customer, but to other customers browsing about in the background.

For me, it depends on the individual and context whether I'd feel creeped out or not by having my hair touched, ie, I generally wouldn't mind having something demonstrated on me, but a stranger just randomly grabbing it would annoy me.

[Carolyn]

If I was at a hair toy kiosk and had asked how to use a certain hair toy then yes I'd be fine with it. Asking how to use the sticks almost invited her to demo them in your hair. It would have been more polite if she had asked if you minded. But I don't see what she did as improper for lack of a better word. By stopping and looking and getting into a conversation about the sticks you sort of set yourself up for the demo.

[GoldLady]

Yes, no touching please!

[prittykitty]

I feel she should have asked you for permission first. I don't like others, especially strangers touching my hair. I don't have super long hair yet but I want to take care of what I do have. The other question is how many other peoples hair did she touch before yours to demonstrate something she was selling?

[melrose1985]

I have looked at those booths before and yep the lady did my hair up with little clips and what not.

Personaly i enjoy that stuff! Probably because i love my hair being played with, So when she did it it didnt bother me except for the fact she did all that and i realized they were a little out of my price range so i wasnt going to buy them.

[Snowflakey]

The exact same thing happened to me before. I was looking at hairsticks, and the lady started advertising a certain one and even demonstrated by suddenly going behind me and doing my hair with the stick. I had the same reaction as you because I'm very picky about who I let close enough to touch any part of me.

I find that if you already have your hair up in a nice style, salespeople will be more hesitant in demonstrating on your hair because they'd have to mess up your style.

[Brighe]

I too don´t like other people touching my hair...
It gives me goosebumps every time :wink:
But I wear it up or in a braid all the time so that´s no problem for me.
People generally don´t touch it when it´s braided or in an updo.

[meph]

I hate it when people touch my hair, or any part of me for that matter. I'm only okay with them touching my hair if I give permission, which happens rarely. Never had someone at a shop touch my hair to demonstrate how a toy works though, so I'm not sure if I'm cool with that or not.

The title of this thread made me think that you were afraid of hair, it struck me as quite odd:laugh:.

[terryn]

I've seen threads like these a few times.... my hair isn't long enough that I find other people want to touch it, but I often find myself in the boat of the person doing the touching.

It's not that I do it, it's just that I sometimes see people's hair and I REALLY, REALLY want to. It just looks pretty/soft/something and I want to run my fingers through it. This isn't meant to be offensive, but it is kind of the same thing when I see a dog, I just kind of want to pet it. I don't pet people's dogs and most certainly not their hair without permission, but it's not uncommon for me to ask to touch the hair of someone I just met. This happened just this past weekend, lol. I met a girl with waist length hair and we talked about hair for a little bit, and I ended up putting a small braid in hers, lol.

So, yeah. This is my relatively pointless post, but, I think my thing is, I am a textile person, and if I see something that looks soft, I want to touch it, but if it's attached to someone, I (and others with this same thought) should ask first. ;p

[WaimeaWahine]

Don't like anyone in my hair. The second the clerk came at me I would've ducked away and possibly grabbed a hair stick to defend myself.

Practice telling strangers point blank, "I don't like to be touched." :)

[mbaker223]

I live it when my hair is played with, I use to get too many trims because I loved having my hair washed and toyed with at the salon. My DH even massages my scalp when I have a headache and that actually gets rid of the headache entirely.

But a complete stranger? Oh no, I can't see that being okay with me. You're not alone in this one hun!

[BunnyBee]

That would freak me out completely. I don't like people touching my hair full stop and I tend to avoid those type of stalls anyway because I'm not good at saying 'NO' lol
It's difficult not to get pressured into buying something if they have given you a 'demo' already...

[florenonite]

If I was at a hair toy kiosk and had asked how to use a certain hair toy then yes I'd be fine with it. Asking how to use the sticks almost invited her to demo them in your hair. It would have been more polite if she had asked if you minded. But I don't see what she did as improper for lack of a better word. By stopping and looking and getting into a conversation about the sticks you sort of set yourself up for the demo.

ITA with the bolded part.

I'd have probably been slightly shocked if a salesperson did my hair without asking my permission first, but then I'd assume that he/she construed my asking for assistance as an invitation to touch my hair. It's like any other body part, IMO. If you ask someone to show you how to fasten an awkward belt, then it's reasonable if he/she touches you to do so.

[nowxisxforever]

I love people I know touching my hair. :)

[YoginiCelestial]

If I was at a hair toy kiosk and had asked how to use a certain hair toy then yes I'd be fine with it. Asking how to use the sticks almost invited her to demo them in your hair. It would have been more polite if she had asked if you minded. But I don't see what she did as improper for lack of a better word. By stopping and looking and getting into a conversation about the sticks you sort of set yourself up for the demo.

Yes, I realize now that I totially set myself up for that one!
Next time I will be sure to avoid hair toy kiosk (note to self) as hair could be violated! LOL!
;)

[Nypsy]

I think it's typical for people working at kiosks to demonstrate on the person they are selling the item to, but I think it's kind of weird that she did it without warning or asking you.

[Shiva]

I don't mind people I know and trust to touch or play with my hair, but I don't want strangers putting bad mojo on my hair, so I quickly make it know I don't like what they are doing and to stop it.

I have had that feeling of DON'T TOUCH MY HAIR when getting trims from people I didn't know. They always know, too, because they see me cringe, flinch and pull away.

[YoginiCelestial]

The title of this thread made me think that you were afraid of hair, it struck me as quite odd:laugh:.

I was trying to think of what would be a good term for someone who doesn't like strangers touching their hair, without an invite! Or at least a warning....
I LOVE hair! I'm obsessed right now! :pumpkin:

[renarok]

I usually don't mind when people touch my hair. I was a hairdresser for 18 years so touching hair is kind of built into my wiring, but I try to respect people's space. I am an xray tech now and I have a patient who is a 5 yr old boy with a buzz cut. He knows I like to rub his head cuz it feels so nice, so he comes in to my room, walks up to me and 'offers' his head to me. I laughed the first time he did it. He REALLY likes head rubs so he enjoys my pets. I am going to miss him when he is 'all better'.

[WritingPrincess]

I don't like people touching my hair at all, and will twitch the tassel out of my little sister's hands if she starts playing with it. Part of the reason I'm so good at doing my own hair, even complicated stuff, is that I can't stand having someone else do it for me. I want control, so I trim myself, braid myself, etc. Like a three-year-old, I guess, I do myself.

[storytellerzero]

I had a similar experience once at the same kind of booth. I'm still looking for satisfactory faux bangs because I really love how I look in bangs but I don't wan to cut them out of my hair and lose fullness and diversity:) So one of the girls there starts trying to sell me the wares and when she realized how long my hair was, she was totally unnerved and acted grossed out. She also had no idea how to clip in false bangs, so she called over another girl who sat me down and went to town trying to put the bangs on but she took some of my hair and RATTED it over the add in.:shocked: My mouth fell open in horror. Unfortunately, I have an annoying check-pause response ingrained into me about anything that could create social awkwardness so I trickled away but was upset for the remainder of the day:rolleyes: Aside from that, people just seem to have no sense of how their touch feels to the person they're touching. I think that is highly important in a masseuse and I just can't seem to find someone with that kind of intuitiveness.:violin: Last massage I bought, I practically ran out the door when it was over. Ah, sad days.

[talecon]

but if u go to the salon people touch ur hair no?

[adiapalic]

I'm about like spidermom on this. Generally okay with it, unless someone is creepy.

As for my DBF touching my hair? Love it, I have it brush it, scratch/massage my head as much as possible.

[Stephichan]

I'm not a fan of anyone touching me at all. Even if it's my family or a close friend, I sometimes freak out. I hate it when acquaintances get all huggy on me - I tense up like crazy and give a really awkward "pat on the back" hug.

My boyfriend is a slight exception to that rule, but even with him, it took me a while to be okay with physical contact and even today I sometimes have issues with it. I dunno, I'm just freaky like that :shrug:

[Ash]

I would not have had a very good reaction to that situation. I do not like being touched, period. Not to mention having a stranger disappearing behind me. The closer a person is to me, the more objects I need between us or at least to have them within my sight range at all times. This is pretty much why I avoid going to malls or crowded places unless I am trying to practice awareness techniques.
I have been getting better about the touching though. I am okay with my SO doing it and can outwardly not react if family or coworkers do it.

[rchorr]

Ok, when I 1st saw this thread listed, I thought you meant someone was afraid of hair! :silly: Sheesh!

But, to get to the REAL issue, I don't like strangers touching my hair, either.

RCHORR'

[Amara]

I would smack any stranger who touched my hair. That is just not acceptable in my world.

Ok, actually, I can think of exceptions. The little old ladies I work with, for instance. :)

[JCFantasy23]

I was shopping at the mall over the weekend and I happened to stop at a kiosk with cute doodads for your hair and the phoney ponys. I was drooling over the ornamental hair sticks and jeweled hair pins when the clerk came over to assist me.
She was so kind and willing to help, and seemed very eager to sell me everything on her cart! I inquired about the hair sticks and asked for her to explain how they should be worn. I thought she would just explain or demonstrate on her own hair. She immediately, without hesitation grabbed a stick and started to touch and twirl my hair, racking her fingers through it! All the while my eyes widened and I felt my heart beat faster and my unspoken words in my thoughts were "STOP TOUCHING MY HAIR"! I was so shocked that I felt this way. I don't think it was too odd that she felt comfortable enough to dive right in with her demonstration on my hair, but I didn't really see that coming! Haha!
I guess I just realized that I don't like anyone else touching my hair! I'm trying really hard to take good care of it and let it grow and it really caught me by surprise. I told her thank you very much and I would most likely be back another time, when I could make up my mind what I wanted.
Anyone else feel this way about their hair?

No one besides my boyfriend really touches my hair, but I am guessing it would make me uncomfortable, especially if it was a stranger. I'm always worried about psychos cutting my hair off when I have a braid or ponytail in public.

[rapunzhell13]

but if u go to the salon people touch ur hair no?

When I used to be a hairdresser, we were told to always ask for permission before touching the client's hair. Even though it's obvious, it's still polite IMO to let them know first. :twocents:

[JamieLeigh]

I don't like strangers touching my hair, because the last time I was in a public toilet, just looking in the mirror to fix my hair sticks, I saw FIVE women go from the toilet cubicles, straight out the door without even LOOKING towards the sinks. :eek: So you never know where those hands have been, but I have a pretty good idea of where SOME of them have been. Ew.

Of course, I do see hairplay as a very sensual and relaxing thing (to me), and it might also be on some other level that I don't want everyone else to touch my hair...just the people that matter. ;)