"Weighing down" curls - help please

[Loviatar]

My boyfriend has hugely wavy hair, which he hates, especially the curls that tend to form at his nape and sideburns. He is growing his hair out but only to shoulder-ish length at the moment. Currently he has the "I'm growing out" mullet-ish look; it's collar length at the back, but it has different lengths in it as he's growing out from a buzz cut. I trimmed half an inch off the back for him last night. (We're working on getting it all to one length.) His hairtype I think is 2c/medium to coarse/iii. And it's naturally red.

He has recently switched from Elvive 2 in 1 shampoo for men which has SLS and cones (which I reckon fluffed his hair out more) to Boots Naked Smoothing marshmallow and aloe shampoo and conditioner, which contains no sulphates, no cones and some jojoba oil. The back of his hair is hanging better (to him) and straighter, which he likes. However today he didnt have time to shower and just went straight to work. He combed his hair down wet and of course it went SPROING back into unruly waves. He is now thinking he'll have to buzz it all off again because he can't stand it. While I'm happy for him to grow it, cut it, whatever he wants, (he looks hawt with any kind of hairstyle :eyebrows: ) I am sad that he feels he HAS to cut because it won't lie straight and he can't handle it.

I've told him he can take my hair vits so it will grow faster and get through the 'awkward' stage, and that I can show him how to blow dry it straight (as he only wants to get to shoulders, he isnt bothered about damage from using a bit of heat. He had it flat-ironed for a wedding recently, but the irons just didnt DO anything, and his hair sprang back into the waves.) I reckon that in another inch-worth of growth, his hair will hang much straighter, but thats two months of him being miserable with his appearance, and that sucks.

He's not a fan of oil or butter in the hair, or of using hairbands or buffs/ties to hold it back, but he isnt averse to using a product if there is something out there that people could recommend. He wants to weigh the curls down quickly and easily, without having to go through the faff of flat-ironing (which didnt work anyway) - can anyone help? He's tried aloe gel but it dries rock-hard and if he loosens it, it's not strong enough to hold his hair straight.

[GlassEyes]

You're in the UK.

Honestly, the best product I know of over there for curly-wavy hair is boots curl creme. It has alcohol in it, so i only use it sparingly, but since he's not worried about damage, he should be fine. Try leaving in some straight conditioner (not leave-in, and since he's coarse, you can get away with a lot more than a 'quarter' sized amount--try two silver dollars on each half) then apply the creme, and, depending on if it's raining (hahaha) try some gel.

Of course, you might want to -mention- CO to him, or at least CWC, but he should be able to get by with these. For weight, leave-in and gel are your best bets beyond length--at the least, it should make it curl better, which will look better anyway.

Another thing that might work is Lustrasilk--it's a cholesterol treatment I use as a leave-in, and it really defines my curls, and from the back it says it's sold in the UK, I think. I'd have to run and check, but if you have Sally's in England, you can get it there. I'll have to look around to see where it's stocked. It's for "black" hair, or marketed as such, but it works great for curls--ReddishRocks, I think, uses it, and she's close to his hairtype.

Edit: Google searching tells me there are Sally's in the UK. xD; If they don't have it, you can order it online--you might want to get two, actually, you can use it too, they come in huge tubs, and they're extremely cheap--2 or so bucks in the States, probably not much worse in the UK even with import fees, I would think. It's awesome as a DT, leave-in, and rinse out. :P

Also, if you want more advice, I have no problem posting on Naturally Curly and asking for you, if you want.

[Thinthondiel]

For weight, leave-in and gel are your best bets beyond length

Or sebum - but I'm guessing he's not willing to go WO (or NW/SO).

[GlassEyes]

Or sebum - but I'm guessing he's not willing to go WO (or NW/SO).
Yeah, that'd work well if he wanted it to lay flatter. It'd take a damn long time though.

As far as the 'laying' flatter, unless you blowdry and flatiron, it's probably never going to do that. :( Unless he does try WO.

[Loviatar]

He'll happily blowdry, but flatironing does nothing. Zip. We tried. I dont understand it. They were GHDs, too. Right up to 200 degrees or something. It just went SPROING back into that old wave pattern.

He is totally not willing to NW/SO - he isnt sure whether the switch in shampoo will affect his scalp for a start. He was using the Elvive anti-dandruff men's 2 in 1.

I've bought him some Tresemme leave-in frizz control smoothing & straightening spray. It claims to have 'smooth memory' and straighten your hair out over time. Maybe it's all horse elbows, but it might help a bit. You use it with a blow dryer.

[GlassEyes]

Hm. Well, you could try relaxing it, or japanese straightening it--but those are both expensive, the latter more than the former.

There IS this one thing on NC that's a 'natural relaxer' that isn't technically permanent, but it involves sitting under a dryer for a while.

Also, 200? o-o I can't get a flatiron to do ANYTHING to my hair unless it's at about 350 with olive oil in it.

[halo_tightens]

Just how opposed is he to the idea of using oils?

If he's willing, have him try some oil, maybe olive or coconut, on his wet hair after washing. My hair isn't super curly like his, but I was always looking for something to weigh down my poofiness. I finally tried oiling, and it's just what I needed.

[Anje]

What about drying it in a few braids or some interpretation on the "caterpillar" banded ponytail? (Pigtails, maybe, at his length?) I imagine if you pull it fairly smooth to dry it, it'll stay that way.

[Loviatar]

Anje, the back is collar length, he can get it into a pony stub of maybe 2 inches long. The crown, front and sides of his hair are shorter. He is trying to get to to all one length: shoulder length. He is not there yet by any means. He wouldnt be able to get it into pigtails, and braids would make it wave more, surely?

Halo Tightens, I will ask him about oils tonight, if I use my 'make-up jar full of solid coconut' I might be able to convince him it's a product :D I'm happy to slap on olive oil from the kitchen, but he laughs at my crazy hair geek things. (In a nice way!)

GlassEyes, aha! I am glad he's not the only one who doesnt react to irons. On the other hand, you just have to wave irons at my hair and it straightens from sheer proximity. :lol: I have mentioned the Yuko straightening system to him - if he wants it, I'll pay for it for him for Christmas or something (I have a better wage than he does, and I like to treat him) - but he nearly fell over when I told him the price. I suspect he'd rather have £120 worth of steampunk clothes or XBox games XD

I'll see if he'll let me snap a back of head pic tonight, before we wash it and try the Tresemme blow dry method. Normally he scrubs his head with a towel then combs it flat and air dries it, but it springs into waves pretty fast.

See, he wants straight hair, and I want waves. GAH.

[GoddesJourney]

Irons never worked for me either for straightening or curling. I'm not quite curly, straight, nor wavy naturally so go figure. I had similar questions on another thread recently for my husband, who's hair is similar in length and texture to your boyfriend's. The best-working advice that I got was to not brush it ever, especially dry, comb it down while wet, and wear a hat for an hour in the morning to flatten it down.

FYI, the few times I used irons on my hair were enough to damage it. It frizzed up even more than it ever did after that and I'm still waiting for a little bit of that to grow out. Some people's hair reacts horrible to heat treatments. I'll try and find the thread.

[GoddesJourney]

Here it is:

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=34435

[Heidi_234]

First of all - I second GoddesJourney's advice - brushing makes it puff up and frizz, and air drying it under a cap constitutes the hair how to dry, so it dries without all the annoying volume. If his hair is long enough, drying in a ponytail works too.

Also, would he be willing do things to get very defined waves/curls? My hair is curlier than 2c, but not too curly to be defined without help. If I brush it I end up with frizz. Air drying it as is makes it very voluminous, which is great for me at my length, but a PITA for super short hair. If he's okay with hair that clumps in defined curls - they take away all the volume and the frizz.

I'm having alot of success with this: After I'm finished washing my hair, I take decent amount of a thick conditioner and apply it by scrunching it - pretty much like her (http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3457886609888355586&hl=en#). Make sure you get that squishing sound, and feel how the water and the conditioner runs though the hair while squashing it. After that, I plop for a while, but just putting it up in a towel will do too I suppose, just enough to stop the drips. Then take it out and scrunch it some more to define the curls.

[alyaziaaah]

I know its an old thread but still I would like to comment. Je can use keratin straightening, although its expensive but it washes out over 3 months, so enough to let the hair grow and have longer curls after. But better read the curly girl handbook to learn how to take proper care of curls, rubbing with a towel doesn't help, it will ruffel up the cuticle, creating frizz

[chou]

Oh, there is nothing cuter than a boy with wavy hair! My boyfriend has fine blond wavy hair and I love it. It's messy but boy hair should be a little bit floppy and unruly. I understand your boyfriend's frustration, though. I've been growing out 2c hair from a pixie cut for a year now and at shorter lengths, wavy hair is difficult to manage. If your bf wants really straight hair he could set gel in his wet hair and go through it with a fine toothed comb when dry. This will make hair straight and shiny but I think over the long term it will cause damage and make the existing pattern even wonkier, especially for coarse hair which can be dry.
This leads me to my next suggestion: your bf could try to embrace his wave pattern and manage it. I think this is the best way to go for wavy hair because anything else will just be an eternal struggle. Short wavy hair can stick out unevenly and form large cowlicks. I've been there. It's super annoying. But a good haircut on the layers in his hair, moisturizing conditioner, and a rich leave in to weigh down frizz could really help things out. I want to emphasize the haircut: a well executed all over haircut kept my hair basically straight at shorter lengths for years. I don't know how my stylist managed this magic, but she definitely used thinning shears in the process. You're in the UK? I'm not familiar with products over there but I've had great luck with shea butter as an ingredient in leave-ins. It's moisturizing and de-volumizing in a way that really agrees with my thick hair.
Best of luck to your bf! Wavy hair is a beautiful thing.

[Avital88]

I've found the perfect shampoo and conditioner for this type of hair.. My daughter has the same length as your boyfriend and her hair never hanged down as i like it.
But since i tried a few things on her hair the last 2 years i have to say John Frieda Root Awakening Shampoo and Conditioner works Wonders!! She has 3b hair and when i made her a pony her hair always was stick straight or curling up.Right now her hair just falls the way hair falls when its in a pony,down...dont even talk about the difference when its weared loose..
He should really try this one!

Good luck, i imagine he has gorgeous hair btw

[pepperminttea]

Just to say guys, you might want to note that the original post is over two years old. :)