View Full Version : I have major hair envy

October 5th, 2009, 01:57 PM
Guys, I've been going thro a huge hair and clothing crisis. Lately, I will change clothes 2 or 3 times before I decide on the perfect shirt to wear for the day to go with the jacket. I'll also line up at least 3 different pairs of shoes and try them all on each and stare at myself in the mirror to see which one looks best with whatever combo I'm wearing. I've also been stopping by at Macy's and checking out all the new autumn clothes and accessories. That scarf looks amazing, or that sweater vest would look awesome over that buttoned down shirt I already have I think to myself.

With my hair, I feel like changing everything about it except for the length course. The other Saturday at the salon, a Chinese woman came in(she is a long time client of Paul's) with thick, layered BSL shiny 1a hair. She was getting it permed. I oversaw the whole process with the rods being rolled into her head, the perming solution and all that. After she was washed out and she took her hair out of the towel, her hair came down into gorgeous spiral 3a curls. She was snacking on a bag of sunflower seeds so using that as an excuse I asked for some and chatted with her. We shared about which province in China we came from, how she felt coming to America and naturally we drifted to hair. She's had her hair permed twice before. She likes to change between naturally pin straight and really nice and curly every few years. She also loved my new highlights (yay:cheese:!) and after giving her hair a rest for a few months she plans on coloring her hair too.

So here I'm actually already craving for curls. I've already colored and highlighted my hair twice in these six weeks alone, and yet that still isn't enough I feel like getting a perm on top of that. I won't...............I'm not going to put my hair thro all that but still.................. I want what I don't have. I always want something different.

October 5th, 2009, 02:33 PM
In my experience you can either have yed hair OR a perm. Not both. While I adore curls, I have lately been noticing that sleek straight hair shines more than curly. On me at least, not meaning to generalus. I'm loving this shine I get. Try looking at it this way. My advice is don't perm it. Make those deep waves style in article's section.

October 5th, 2009, 02:50 PM
I can understand wanting something different. I seem to go through that every so often, too. And I'm totally with you on the curl envy, too! Seems like we all want what we don't have.

With your lovely long hair, if you are at all tender-headed, which I definitely am, getting a perm may hurt when you have to lean back in the sink to have the solution rinsed off and the curlers removed. It was too much weight for me, and I've never had another in, let's see, 16.5 years now!

What highlights did you have put in?

October 5th, 2009, 03:01 PM
How about something like Curlformers? sprial curls without the damage?
You wouldn't want to cause damage to your hair, especially on top of the color!

October 5th, 2009, 03:18 PM
Yeah, Eric, you should totally try some sort of gentle rolling technique on wet hair to make some temporary curls! I don't want you to damage your hair, but I'd love to see ya in spirals, lol!

October 5th, 2009, 03:21 PM
I second all the less destructive ways to get curls. I would really hate to see you hair get ruined and you have to use a lot of stuff on it to fix it or cut it off. :(

October 5th, 2009, 03:24 PM
I vote rag curls. :) Since you've already colored, it might be best to go for the less permanent option. (Uh, no pun intended.)

October 5th, 2009, 03:27 PM
I vote to definately get some curls :) They would look stunning on you.

October 5th, 2009, 03:37 PM
If you're craving curls then have curls! Why not? It's important to have fun and enjoy your hair.
Curls would look amazing with the fantastic length you have, but please, please forget the perm - you'd probably regret it pretty quickly. Variety is important when it comes to your hair but by keeping it in its' natural straight state (your hair is wonderful by the way!) you'll be free to do so much more with it, then when you get bored you can change style on a whim. Perms are permanent - don't forget that!

October 5th, 2009, 03:46 PM
Don't perm. Perms (almost always) have to be cut off in the end, and you have lovely hair.

I had a thought when I read this, and it's honestly not meant to be be mean - but do you think this desire to change your hair coincides with posting regularly on LHC? Because to be honest, the journey of hair growing is a pretty slow one, with very little to report. (In your case, still gorgeous, still straight, still thick, still long :) ). So there's a desire to create new things to be able to spark discussion - which is very nice! But maybe you are putting yourself slightly under pressure? Just a thought - I am not very well, so my apologies if this came out wrong.

I agree with the others - play around with plopping, rollers, rag curls; have fun with your hair. But don't perm it, it will ruin it, absolutely chew the ends off. (Apologies to any members here who successfully perm, I know it *can* be done, but probably not on already dyed hair!)

October 5th, 2009, 04:39 PM
I say go for it. Life is short. Your hair will grow back.

October 5th, 2009, 04:48 PM
Me, too, I vote for using curlers or some other temporary curling technique. You have awesome hair. You might regret a perm.

October 5th, 2009, 04:54 PM
Being a curly, I sometimes wish I had pin straight hair, so I understand :p

I dont think you should get a perm, play with rollers instead. I have curlformers, they make perfect spiral curls :)

October 5th, 2009, 06:41 PM
We could trade for a month, lol.

October 5th, 2009, 06:46 PM
I agree with everyone else here; don't perm. Perms over color really is horrible (I permed over highlights once, never again). I am a type 1b and I always got curly hair envy. While I swear never to perm again, I like braid waves, rag curlers (like the ones in the Deep Waves tutorial), and rollers.

Now I must go see your highlights!

October 5th, 2009, 06:54 PM
I used torrin's method for curling hair with soft rollers and it works very nicely- she has a tutorial on youtube. If you want a change there are much better ways than perming your hair. Perms can burn your scalp if you're sensitive, and they require touch ups. Remember, if you're going to have very long hair the permed hair will have to survive for many years which is nearly impossible, especially with dyed hair. I highly suggest you use soft rollers- the results are as good and less damaging than a perm.

October 5th, 2009, 07:15 PM
I know that feeling of wanting what I don't have. I used to dream of getting a perm and I was so close to doing it one time but the lady at the hair salon told me what a big chance it was since my long hair could pull the perm right out. So I used sponge rollers for years, and with hair spray I could achieve the look I dreamed for. The only problem I would have was on really hot, humid days it could fall out.

Interestingly though... Since I have joined LHC, I have not envied for any other hair except the natural hair that I have. I think it is because there are so many others on here with the same hair type as me, and they embrace and love what they have. I think it made me look twice at what I naturally have, and realize how much I really love it already.

I had never really been surrounded by others who like to have long hair too. It has really made a difference for me. All my close friends usually would be cutting their hair, and also coloring a lot. Then of course there is the media too that tries to influence.

I am not going to tell you what to do, and what not to do with your hair... It is your hair to decide. But I do have to say your hair looks awesome right now!! :cool: So please do careful thinking before you do anything. I wouldn't encourage a perm at all because of damage and the chances of it not turning out like you had hoped. There are other methods of curling your hair. First I would recommend sponge rollers at night and lots of hair spray in the morning if you really want the curls. But I stopped using the sponge rollers and hair spray due to breakage... they will do that. The damage wouldn't be nearly as bad as a perm though.

October 5th, 2009, 07:32 PM
Roll, baby, roll! Stay away from the perm solution. Get some good rollers and have some temporary fun without causing permanent damage.

October 5th, 2009, 08:46 PM
Hey guys. Lately, a lot of things have been happening in my life. Time is moving so fast, I'm trying to figure out what I want to do. I've been spending and enjoying time with Sam, a guy I've known since high school. He recently came out to me and told me that he was attracted to other men as well, so yeah I'm super excited. And this couldn't have come at a better time, I had been single for over a year since my ex-boyfriend and I broke up. I'm starting to like how I look again, and besides Sam a few other guys have also been talking to me and checking me out.

I will definitely try out the non-permanent ways to style my hair curly. I do have my curling iron, but I haven't used it in ages. Maybe I'll break it out again. I might even look into rollers and curlformers.

October 5th, 2009, 09:31 PM
The curlformers make perfect curls but they can be a pain to put in. Your hair is sleeker than mine so you might not have that problem.

Since you're in such a state of flux, I definitely wouldn't recommend anything permanent. Heat damage (if you don't go for something like rag curls or the curformers) would be better than perm damage in my opinion and the curls are reversable.

October 5th, 2009, 09:55 PM
Ok, it's time for Hair Intervention time, Eric.

You lightened your hair and it is nice and you look great, but perming it, too? Duuude, there is only so much that Ojon RHT can probably handle. :p

Dooooon't doooo iiiiiiit!

But hey, if you really want to, knock your socks off... you only live once and hair grows.

October 5th, 2009, 10:27 PM
Don't perm! Your hair is soo nice already. Definitely try some curlers or something though and make sure you post pics!

And glad to here things are looking up in regards to your love life!

October 5th, 2009, 11:58 PM
First of all, do what makes you happy, but I agree with trying non-permanent curls for a while first. You might get tired of it or hate it, then again you might love it, but if you perm it and decide you don't like it then straightening it again could be a disaster. I'd try a fake perm/pin curls/rag curls or different kinds of braid or bun waves first. :flower:
By the way, your hair is really gorgeous with all that super-shine!

October 6th, 2009, 03:32 AM
Hi Erik!

I think it's normal that you have those worries with your hair and with your clothes. Sometimes I'll have to try three outfits before I make up my mind too hehe... I think it's very good that you keep looking for a way to feel awesome for the day. Just try not to obsess it, as it's not that big of a deal if a day a week you don't look as good as you think you could (I have more than one day of these during the week, and I'm a fashion design student! :lol:)

About your hair, you know there are milions of ways to style it without damaging right? You can even put rollers on your wet hair, let it dry like that and have curls all the same way :) I tell you tough: you've got perfect hait for growing long, and it's very shiny and sleek. That's all good! But you can't take it for granted, and if you really want to keep a healthy lenght, keep chemicals out of your mind...

Just my little input... Hope it helps! :)

October 6th, 2009, 03:36 AM
Buy a wig. You can't do anything wrong to your own hair this way and you can have a new look all in one.

October 6th, 2009, 03:51 AM
I would not recommend you perming your hair. Im thinking about many of my friends perming their hair and in the end they all had to cut off many inches.
The worst was a friend of mine she had crazy thick straight hair it looked like a horsemane and then she permed it curly and it shedded so much she had to cut it from HIP to a BOB!! =(
She has coarse caucasian hair i know your hair type (asian) is very strong so maby you wouldnt face that kind of problems.. but u should embrase your hair i think its gorgeous i would kill to get your hair! ;D

October 6th, 2009, 04:11 AM
Stick to the braid waves Eric! Then you can have curly or straight, whenever you want. DON'T perm!!! :)

October 6th, 2009, 04:39 AM
Two things I'd like to say.

Hair is different for everyone. What might work in my hair might not work in yours but what works in your hair probably won't work in mine. Your hair might react differently to a perm than what you saw is basically all I'm trying to say.

Second - chemicals react. No easier way to say it. Any professional salon person will ask you when is the last time you put any chemicals on your hair. They usually won't do it unless it's been a month or more.

I'll pitch in my two cents and ask you, pretty please, don't do a chemical perm. You're hair is gorgeous.

October 6th, 2009, 04:39 AM
Eric you have such nice hair that I love to look at.

I have damaged hair that was chemically dyed. And it takes a long time to grow out.

October 6th, 2009, 05:21 AM
Mom hat on - Eric I see a pattern with you. You are never happy with who you are. Well I guess saying never is maybe to harsh. I see you as a very handsome guy. You also seem to be very likeable and just a nice person. I hope you can learn to like yourself first. Change is fun, hair buying new clothes but.....you are ok just being you.

You don't have to always want to look like someone else. This is supposed to be encouraging so I hope I'm doing ok. Like who you are and go from there. I would not chemically do anything to your hair. You have beautiful hair. Of course I loved it in it's natural state before you colored. It looks great now but love who you really are!

Have fun with clothes, hair etc but hey you aren't bad. Mom hat off.

All of this is said in love.

October 6th, 2009, 09:11 AM
As for me, I'll take black, straight, insanely shiny hair.

October 6th, 2009, 10:09 AM
As for me, I'll take black, straight, insanely shiny hair.

I second that!! Eric you have really awesome hair! We all need a change every now and then but please please please don't do anything that will damage your lovely hair. That being said, maybe you should try the paper bag curls or something that doesn't involve heat or chemicals.

and take it from someone who went from curly to chemically straight (yeah I'm not proud of myself at all but I just needed a change), it's not worth it. You will soon start missing your old hair and a simple wash and dry won't do anymore (yeah I tried hair straighteners as well and I'm not proud of that either). :flower:

October 6th, 2009, 11:01 AM
Eric, DO NOT PERM YOUR HAIR!!! Was that loud enough for you? LOL. Seriously, it would just dry it out and make the ends all nasty, then you would have to cut it back and then your hair would be shorter. Trust me, I wanted the same thing, got the perm and the nasty ends. Not good. I vote with everyone else, rag curls, rollers anything but a perm. As for the indecisive on the clothing, well thats just the perfect excuse to go shopping.:eyebrows:

October 6th, 2009, 11:34 AM
Eric you are such a sweetie, I'm glad things are looking up in the romance department. You're so handsome, and your hair is to die for so I'm not surprised that you're getting some attention ;)

If you perm that beautiful head of hair I will reach through this computer screen and smack you! Don't be silly, use some rag curls or something instead! LOL

October 6th, 2009, 12:10 PM
This is an age old dilemma.

People with straight hair want curly hair and people with curly hair want straight hair. And people with wavy hair just wish their hair would pick a side :).

No, but really, it's a grass is greener situation, pardon my old cliche'. But the thing is that when you cross over to the other pasture you normally find a big dry patch that just wasn't visible from your previous vantage point.

What I mean is, getting a perm is great.... for a bout a month until the curls fad to pure dried out frizz. And I can't speak for anyone else, but I use to perm my hair and finally decided I couldn't keep cutting it out like I had to. Every time I permed I had to end up cutting it all out because of the damage that couldn't be fixed.

In the end, it's your choice, it's your hair. Just giving you my 2 cents and I hope it helps you make your decision :)

October 6th, 2009, 12:30 PM
Just in case it didn't come through clearly, my above comment was an example of wanting the opposite of what you have (which I do) but mbaker223 put it so much better.

October 6th, 2009, 03:51 PM
Been there, done that with the perm thing. For 15 years, desperately trying to get some "body" to do 70's and 80's styles in what was then totally 1a hair.

Regardless of how much you like it when it's fresh, growing out a perm is awful. It's hideous having straight roots and frizzy ends until all the perm is cut out. Please don't do it!

October 6th, 2009, 03:56 PM
Good luck with the new romance!

October 6th, 2009, 05:27 PM
Let's get our brains together and invent a hair-switcher-maroo! I'll have your long locks for a month and you get my insane tangles, frizz, and sometimes cooperative curls. ;)

October 6th, 2009, 05:57 PM
Eric you have such nice hair that I love to look at.

I have damaged hair that was chemically dyed. And it takes a long time to grow out.

It sure does!!! My hair was so damaged from over processing that my hairdresser refused to add highlights! She told me to go home, give my hair a rest and google short hairstyles. I will be forever grateful!! Last December she gave me a "down to the wood chop" and I am currently growing out my all natural, finally healthy hair! You have been blessed with beautiful hair Eric...... think this one through very carefully.

October 6th, 2009, 06:43 PM
Hey guys. I've done some prioritizing. What I value first and most of all the the hard earned length I have. Regardless of whatever color or style I want, it MUST BE long.

I have already highlighted my hair twice in 6 weeks. I still haven't found any noticeable damage to my hair, so I got out scott free. I figure, why rock the boat? Or in my case maybe even capsize the boat!

I'm not going for that perm. After reading from the firsthand experiences of all of you here who have had perms and received damage because of them, its not worth it for me to possibly further torture my hair. I have my curling iron, I should break it out again. I know, I know yes there are the non-heat ways like rollers but trust me guys, the most effective way to put a style on 1a hair is heat & an iron to shape your hair into the desired style.

October 6th, 2009, 06:52 PM
Not really, no--if your hair is as coarse and 'strong' as you say, shouldn't it hold a curl from rollers well? I mean, sure, do what you want, but it seems like rollers would work just fine.

October 6th, 2009, 07:02 PM
Perms are evil! http://img143.imageshack.us/img143/2807/angerv.gif (http://img143.imageshack.us/i/angerv.gif/)

I used to get spiral perms cuz my hair wasn't good enough I guess. I always remember coming out with short spikey pieces that had broken off, always less than an inch in length, all over the top of my head. So not what I wanted but that's what you bargain for when you get a perm. Breakage. Un-even curl pattern. Dry and crispy hair. Eck...

October 6th, 2009, 07:51 PM
So glad you've decided not to go for the perm. I made the mistake of getting one six years ago - I've never known anything like it. It dried my hair out to ruin, destroyed the ends, and completely changed the amount of care it needed. I've got naturally slightly wavy hair, only 1C or so, but if I'm kind to it when I wash it, plait it back at night, and go easy with the brushing, it generally doesn't complain much. With the perm, there was so much more upkeep, it seemed impossible to not slather it in products just to get it to look presentable. If I left it 'natural' I looked like a poodle, and with product I remember someone once said it looked like "rats tails". Eventually I had to grow it out, cut it off, and start from scratch.
Now whenever I see someone with gorgeous curly hair, I think to myself how lovely it looks on their head, and now terrible it would be on my own...

October 7th, 2009, 01:46 AM
I'm sorry many of you guys have regretted getting those perms. Especially those of you who didn't even get the exact final result that you were looking for, what with the uneven curl pattern, the increased dryness and frizzy ends and all that. I'd probably be banging my head against the wall if that was the condition of my hair. I glad I dodged this bullet!

October 7th, 2009, 05:09 AM
I am pretty sure you're going to get it curled anyway (you said you would never dye, and you did, so), so these words are likely moot anyway.

But still.

Word of advice? Quit FUSSING already, just throw something on and get out of the house. :)

October 7th, 2009, 05:51 AM
In highschool I had a perm. Since my hair is naturally curly, it really took a hold! When the hair came out of the perm rods it was boinked right up to my head. I was shocked at how I looked. When the hairdresser asked me if I liked it I honestly blurted out: "Well, I'll have to get used to it." I couldn't let it dry on its own because it would fro out. I would put a ton of gel in it to keep it looking wet. I used to play with the crunchy curls in class, trying to find the biggest chunk to break apart. When a month or so went by, it started to relax and hang there. And my roots were growing in. And I was tired of it. So I tried to straighten it. With a hair dryer and a flatiron. My hair was frizzy, horrid looking, and VERY poofy. Not sleek at all. The only way to wear my hair was straight back in a pony or gelled stiff. I didn't have my soft shiney hair anymore. I didn't recognize the trash on my head. That wasn't hair.

After highschool, I did something stupid. I went to the mall and got a perm. I didn't know that bleached hair didn't hold a perm curl. And my hair dresser didn't ask. I had been coloring my hair almost every week for a while. At one point I took bleach and did big chunks in the front, at the ends of my layers, and dyed them plum. But when I went in for the perm, it was dyed brown. Finally she took the perm rods out, and I was horrified. She used way too small of rods, but I did have short layers. Also, those chunks that had been bleached? PIN STRAIGHT. Didn't take perm at all! So I had poodle hair at the roots, and straight ends. By the time she was done trimming all the straight ends out, my hair was so short it looked stupid. I looked like a little old lady who didn't style her hair with a curling iron. It looked so stupid. Not even a week later I used a straightener to look normal. All that money down the drain. Seriously, for that kind of money, you could buy yourself some new threads, or a really fancy curling system. Or use that money for multiple trips to the salon for them to put in curlers! Just do not perm. You might like it for two seconds, and then will ultimately not like it, and either suffer through growing it out, or cut it off.

October 7th, 2009, 06:22 AM

That is a link to a Sunsilk commercial for their black shine shampoo. Of course there is plenty of cgi in the commercial, but she still has gorgeous hair. It's Thai.

October 7th, 2009, 09:52 AM
Hey Eric-
It is because you feel so different on the inside, your subconcious mind wants to reflect those changes on the outside! Just make sure that you continue to gather information and make concious decisions based on fact.
In other words, your life has changed and you want to express that change. You are smart to come here and get the right info.
Stick to the highlights, much safer than the perm!

October 7th, 2009, 10:35 AM
I'm sorry many of you guys have regretted getting those perms. Especially those of you who didn't even get the exact final result that you were looking for, what with the uneven curl pattern, the increased dryness and frizzy ends and all that. I'd probably be banging my head against the wall if that was the condition of my hair. I glad I dodged this bullet!
I'm an 80's teen so I was a slave to the perm for many, many years... some were great, some needed to be done 2 times. I'll have to dig out my old permed pics sometime.

My mom does my hair (she's a licensed beatician) and sometimes I hop in the chair and say "PERM MEH!1" and we laugh like idiots.

I am so glad I put down the perming lotion... I can probably thank Jennifer Aniston for that.

October 7th, 2009, 11:52 PM
I am so glad I put down the perming lotion... I can probably thank Jennifer Aniston for that.

Ahh yes the "Rachel". She made a simple shoulder length layered haircut look so polished and stylish. Honestly, I LOVED Phobe's hair so much more. Her hair was everything you could dream of : blonde, shiny, silky and of course LONG! She consistantly had the longest hair of all three girls, and I'm glad that she always kept her hair long throughout all 10 seasons of Friends unlike Monica and Rachel who both went back between short and long. I'm adding Lisa Kudrow as one of my celebrity long haired inspirations!

October 9th, 2009, 11:11 AM
As someone put it - I think it was Angelthadiva? - "The grass is greener on the other side, but that grass still has to be cut!"

Which, in terms of your situation, I would say it in the spirit of "Sure it looks nice, but how would it affect your hair's condition, and not to mention your care routine?" You've got a good thing going - do things ONE at a time, not all at once!

Enjoy and rock your amazing hair, ericthegreat!!!! :flowers: