Why so reluctant to trim?

[jivete]

For those of you that have a hard time taking the scissors to your hair, why?

I really need to take at least an inch off maybe more but I just can't seem to do it. Deep down I know it will grow back. I know it will look better, etc. It's not like I'm not going for terminal and my goals are pretty modest, healthy waist-ish hair with a nice hem. I know I have damage that eventually has to go. I just keep saying, "when it's a little longer..."

Part of me is afraid if I over-trim, I'll be adicted to the scissors and never get anywhere. The only reason I've made it this far is I've accepted a not so perfect hem. Part of me needs to get over the mental hump that it actually will grow to somewhere beyond BSL. For pretty much all my life I've had short hair (just a little longer than shoulder) and I just have to believe it can get longer, even if it doesn't look so great in the meantime. At some point I plan to maintain. First it was BSL. Now it's just a little below BSL. :rolleyes:

So if you have a hard time taking more than a dusting or any at all, what are your reasons?

[cakedcake]

I'm still in the process of growing out very short hair so every inch or half an inch (or quarter of an inch) still counts. I don't think I'll find it as difficult when I finally meet some of my more long-term goals. At least, I hope not!

[marikamt]

My reasons are exactly like yours....... In the past, I would always get to a difficult stage and give up... I feel like I should muscle thru to my goal (waist), THEN trim up... I keep telling myself it is only 4 or 5 more inches, blah, blah, blah...... I think also actively growing is such a goal oriented thing, and when you KNOW you only grow .5-1.0 in per month, it seems like such a step backward...
I don't have damage, just uneven/ not pretty hemline.......

[~GypsyCurls~]

For me, it wasn't because I didn't want to wait for it to grow back, it was a fear of going to the hairdresser and them cutting too much off. I also don't have too much experience cutting my own hair, plus cutting curls is a lot different from cutting straight hair. I did end up finding a great hairdresser after reading some reviews though, and got great results so I no longer have that fear :)

I think for some people it's about not wanting to lose length that they waited to achieve, especially when they put so much energy into nurturing it. IMO hair carries a lot of energy.

[vindo]

I'm not one or the other.

I don't like to trim much because I will loose length and in worst case not really make any length progress.
But if I have too for a reason (like thickening up my lengths), I will do it and stick to it.

There is no addiction either way, I just do what is best for my hair and the goals I'm trying to achieve.

That said, even if I am trimming, I keep track of how much I trim monthly to make sure I don't over trim.
I even had trimming plans where I trimmed off only part of the growth and still gained length slowly.
Thats why to me it is not to trim or not to trim. It is a mixture of both.

[Heidi_234]

I have 5" to get rid of. If I get rid of them now, my hair will be barely brushing waist again, and I would not be able to take that well. Inches tend to look small for scissors, but when you count every half a inch you grow each month, taking off 1 or 2 inches is like 'trashing' 2-4 months of hard work, not to mention that at some lengths 2" inch is a big difference.

As somebody who tried to grow hair out, a person should be very reluctant to hold the scissors. Otherwise it won't work. It takes less than a minute to cut what is growing for months. :nono:

[halo_tightens]

I need a trim pretty badly-- I haven't trimmed at all since deciding to grow my hair. I just can't do it, though! I'm waiting so impatiently for my hair to get long, measuring every new tiny bit of growth, thinking about hair and hair care all the time... I just can't stand to think of my length becoming less instead of more. How on earth can I cut some of my hair off when all I want is more hair?

I know I can't put it off forever. I have damaged ends from all the stuff I've done to it in the past. If it gets to looking TOO awful, I'll have to give it a trim whether I want to or not. I'm just trying to put it off as long as possible!!

[TheEndlessOcean]

Mainly because I'm worried they'll take off more than I want, and because I can't stand the thought of my hair being any shorter, especially since it's not really all that long (IMO anyway :p).

[Monkey962]

It's not so much that I'm reluctant, it's just kind of a ritual, and thus a hassle for me. It's very hard to find time to do my ritual, since part of it is requires that I have perfectly straight (just air-dried) hair. And while I wash around twice a week (giving me plenty of opportunities, It's almost always braided, and is thus wavy, and thus if I were to trim it wavy, my hem would be wavy. :S Also, I like to have the entirety of my hair completely tangle-free, which takes my little perfectionist self quite a lot of time. Then I have to prepare the scissors by giving them a coating of oil, and checking to see they're sharp enough. I also have to make sure nobody will see this whole charade C: .

[RancheroTheBee]

I feel like I've accomplished a lot in the last few months, hair-wise, so it makes me wary of trimming off anything. But I'm getting a trim on Saturday, and I know it'll look a lot better and it will be easier to grow out later.

[Anywhere]

I'm hesitant to trim because whenever my mother forces me to the hairdresser ("you need a haircut!" she says), the hairdresser always says she'll only take off an inch, then the next thing I know my hair's gone from almost waist to right above the bust. Every. Single. Time.

So i try to avoid getting it cut by them, and my mom says my hair looks bad if i trim it myself. She doesn't really notice my hairs any shorter, she just sees little half inch bits of hair near the sink.. so I get self-conscious and think it'll look better if I don't.

[DragonLady]

I've been planning to go for a trim since June.

I put it off the first time hoping to reach tailbone first. Then, I put it off because my hairdresser sold her shop to someone new that I don't really trust. Then I put off because....

The truth is, I just can't bear to part with too many hard-earned inches, and I don't know any of the hairdressers in town now. I don't want to spend five minutes in the chair and lose a whole year's progress. :( I'm willing to live with the fairytale ends and even a bit of damage.

[Mutinous]

I've had about 2-3 inches taken off in the last 6 weeks alone (on two seperate trims) simple because I damaged my hair so much when I was on holiday. At the time, it didn't really bother me too much, as I have decided over the last four months to grow out hair dye (and my hair grows stupidly fast anyway), and every inch that gets trimmed, is one less inch of bad dye hair.

After being on here for a while though, and learning to care for my hair, I am a bit reluctant to let it go now :P

[friskybiznus]

I think for some people it's about not wanting to lose length that they waited to achieve, especially when they put so much energy into nurturing it. IMO hair carries a lot of energy.

I agree. I hear people say, "It's just hair." But my hair is an important part of me. It tells a story. I have such trust issues around someone who's holding a sharp tool that could, within minutes, cut away part of who I am....
does that make sense?

[Dars]

I want to reach my goal length first! Nearly there. Trimming now would be like a set back to me. My hair is healthy and I S&D but I *think* it's uneven, though the curls hide it well.

[WritingPrincess]

My hair would probably be better off without five inches at the ends (I've tried S&D, but end up giving up with the conclusion that just about every other hair is split), but I haven't done it yet. I was at hip when I got here, and whacking off five inches would set me right back at hip, feeling like I've nothing to show for the past two years. I told myself I'd trim off three inches when I got to tailbone, but then by the time I remembered it I was past tailbone and didn't want to look back. Now I'm planning to maintain at classic for six months to a year, but there is quite a possibility that I won't actually *do* it. I think the issue for me is that I'm reluctant to give up hard-earned length. Then, some days I think that the braid is starting to get in the way a lot, and maybe it'd be fun to go back to waist. But when it actually comes to the scissors--no way am I cutting of ~10 inches.

[GlassEyes]

I just started being able to bun, and my hair still looks short. If I trim, I may not be able to do them anymore, and with my curls, it'll take me about 3 months to show the length I could possibly lose.

So I put it off. ): Even though my ends are slightly wonky (though not split, oddly enough). Plus, I don't trust myself to cut my own hair, and I don't trust a hairdresser to cut my curly hair, and I hate appearing anal about it. :D Not a good combo.

[janiejones]

I'm just always afraid I'll regret what I'll trim off...and I'd rather not have the opportunity for regret. (not a very good reason, but it's still what comes to mind when I think of trimming.)

[Ally<3]

I'm in the same boat as many here. I have a good few inches of damage that needs to come off, but I just can't do it. I said last month that I would do it in October, but we'll see...

[Monsterkitti]

Ive trimmed a couple of time since BSL so this time Im very reluctant to trim till waist as its starting to feel like i'll never make it! :)

Once there I think I will get less hesitant to trim as Im planning on maintaining.

[freckles]

I think the reason LHC-ers are touchier than others about trimming is that we're very well aware of how painfully slowly hair grows! I had a trim recently, and I loved it. But I can't believe it's going to take me four months (on average) just to get back to where I was!!

[Runzel]

For me, I haven't seriously cut my hair since I became severely ill 3 1/2 years ago, and lately I've realized that it's become a bit of a visible time record for me. Hair holds a history of your health (at least when it comes to chemicals) and so it just seems fitting for me to not remove any of that for now.

I do S&D however...if I see a split there's no way I'm leaving it alone. :rolleyes:

[Isa-belle]

Because I'm an impatient little brat :p

Seriously, though, aforementioned reason aside, I trimmed my hair monthly for over 6 months until May '09 to get rid of straggly ends. I cut whatever was growing, and even a few centimeters more.
Today, I would kill for a blunter hemline (I still have a bit of layers and a U shape to get rid of), but I just got sick of not seeing my hair get any longer for more than half a year.

[jivete]

Seriously, though, aforementioned reason aside, I trimmed my hair monthly for over 6 months until May '09 to get rid of straggly ends. I cut whatever was growing, and even a few centimeters more.
Today, I would kill for a blunter hemline (I still have a bit of layers and a U shape to get rid of), but I just got sick of not seeing my hair get any longer for more than half a year.


Yeah, I was planning on trimming to maintain starting in September. Instead I started in July and two months of not seeing any progress drove me nuts. Now, I'm planning on leaving it until December. Since I don't like my hair down very much right now, I keep telling myself it's a "wear my hair up" challenge until I trim.:p

[DarkChocolate]

Mainly because I don't want to lose length even if just an inch:) SOmetimes the inch trim makes it look soooo much better. I just end up not doing it anyways:)

[3azza]

i'm reluctant to trim because the hair dresser always trims more than what i ask for. So i minimized the number of trims from 4 to one per year, and this is how i managed to reach beyond waist for the first time in my life after spending 6 years between bsl and waist.

[paperwhite]

For me (and this is awful), a good deal of it is just sheer laziness. Sometimes I just don't feel like getting in the car, driving to the mall, waiting to see someone, blah, blah, blah. That's what lead me to my first self-trim. Now that I've actually started actively taking better care of my hair, it's shifted a bit from laziness to not wanting to lose what little growth I've gained. It doesn't seem to me like my hair grows very quickly, and I don't like the thought of cutting off what's taken me so long to grow. I've done a few S&Ds and that seems to help the ends stay healthier than if I were to just leave them alone. For now, it's a good compromise between trimming and not trimming.

[Sheltie_Momma]

I only trim every six months. I need to, like, this month. But then I think, if I don't then I will hit waist by Christmas. Then I think, if I do, then it will look nice in all the holiday photos. So I waffle and put it off. My hair grows very slowly and is bushy, so when it does grow you can't really tell and I'm just really paranoid about getting a bad haircut.

I looked at the self trimming method but my hair is just so thick - at the stylists it has to go into many many sections to come out even - and it is thicker on one side than the other, and curly at the front but straight at the back - so I just don't think I can really do it myself.

Lastly, the one stylist I found did a great job but then had to go and comment "I really don't like long hair, never have." which hurt my feelings and now I don't want to go back to her.

[Medievalmaniac]

It just took me so damned long to get it to here in the first place. I am also a person who has trouble getting motivated to do laundry, or dishes...there's something about this "cycle" thing that just is not compatible with me. I hate that I load the dishwasher, run the dishwasher, unload the dishwasher, load it again...vicious cycle. Same with laundry...and I think cutting my hair is the same thing - I grew it, trimmed it, grew it, trimmed it - I just have a major hang up about the repetitive aspect of it, especially if I consider it unnecessary repetition. ;)

[jivete]

Lastly, the one stylist I found did a great job but then had to go and comment "I really don't like long hair, never have." which hurt my feelings and now I don't want to go back to her.

What a strange thing for her to say to you. I wonder if she realizes that's why you didn't go back.

[Sheltie_Momma]

What a strange thing for her to say to you. I wonder if she realizes that's why you didn't go back.

She is an older Texas lady, very blunt and outspoken. Most people leaving the salon are all colored and "styled", I think she felt like she hadn't done a good job because my hair was "plain".

I honestly don't think she meant it to be hurtful but I had been sitting in the chiar looking in the mirror feeling all happy and then she said that.

Too bad, because she kept her scissors very sharp and did very exact haircutting. I always test out a stylist on my little son who has very thick straight hair - it shows every cut mark. If they can cut his hair well, then I know they can do my hair too.

[tsc]

For me it was "but it's so long and pretty and cutting it would make it short!"

Then I realized that cutting it makes it still very long, and even prettier once all the crap was off the ends. And since I had someone I trust do it, I knew I wasn't going to end up with 5" gone.

[Sighridh]

Just the thing I'm struggling with, I'm finally to BSL but still have lots of layers and massive long term dye damage that needs to be cut off. Not until at least mid-back I think, though I'll keep up with micro trims in the meantime. :)

[klcqtee]

I worry that if I trim, I'll take off too much and end up at an awkward stage (this is quite realistic since my hair is still short). Also, I don't want to take away all the progress I've made. Even if it's only an inch, that's 2 months worth of hair!

[lookingglass]

I like tapered ends.

[InTheCity]

You and I sound similar in growth - I've never had hair longer than just passed my shoulders. Now touching my strap, it's at the longest ever.

For some reason, just as soon as it touched my strap, I was willing to get my first trim since I started growing. I had the motivation without fear, so I ran with it. roughly 3/4" later, I'm thrilled. I used to think my hair just would not grow long, period. Now that I see it growing 1/2 per month like it's supposed to, I've been able to accept that it really does grow.

If you really want a trim, just try to think about how far you've come and that your hair will continue to grow after the trim, just like it has before. And as you well know, a nice hem sometimes makes hair look longer :eyebrows:

[spidermom]

I never was reluctant until I started hanging out here. Now I'm afraid that I'll disappoint somebody. I know it isn't true, but I often feel like I'm growing my hair for other people.

[Delila]

When I first started doing self trims, I couldn't seem to extend the time between trims as much as I wanted. For a long time, I did four trims a year, sometimes five, but they were pretty minimal. (I was a big chicken with scissors in my hands)

I made a point to set a date in the future, and just stuck to that. Seemed to help me gain length, since I only let myself trim on certain dates. (I used the Morrocco Method calendar, FWIW.) Once in a while I'd trim a bit early, but I did try to minimize the amounts I trimmed, just on principle. For a long time I was growing out layers, so my ends were pretty wispy. That seems to be done now, so I'm just coping with taper and fragile hair.

In the past little while, I've been practicing a sort of benign neglect for haircare and trimming. I clean and condition my hair as it needs it, detangle it in the morning, put it up for the day, detangle and braid for the night, etc. No big changes, no drama. I think because I've hit on such a steady routine, I've been content with ignoring the trimming issue. So far, so good, anyhow.

[Isa-belle]

When I first started doing self trims, I couldn't seem to extend the time between trims as much as I wanted. For a long time, I did four trims a year, sometimes five, but they were pretty minimal. (I was a big chicken with scissors in my hands)

I made a point to set a date in the future, and just stuck to that. Seemed to help me gain length, since I only let myself trim on certain dates. (I used the Morrocco Method calendar, FWIW.) Once in a while I'd trim a bit early, but I did try to minimize the amounts I trimmed, just on principle. For a long time I was growing out layers, so my ends were pretty wispy. That seems to be done now, so I'm just coping with taper and fragile hair.

In the past little while, I've been practicing a sort of benign neglect for haircare and trimming. I clean and condition my hair as it needs it, detangle it in the morning, put it up for the day, detangle and braid for the night, etc. No big changes, no drama. I think because I've hit on such a steady routine, I've been content with ignoring the trimming issue. So far, so good, anyhow.
Everything in what you say sounds so much like my own experience.
When I feel the urge to cut - I just put the hair up.

[Aries_jb]

I never was reluctant until I started hanging out here. Now I'm afraid that I'll disappoint somebody. I know it isn't true, but I often feel like I'm growing my hair for other people.

Not that my hair is as long as yours, but I feel the same way sometimes too. I never thought twice about a trim, never "tried" to grow my hair, never wore it up to protect it, and it was fine. Now I feel like I have to hold on to scraggly ends because the sacrifice of length is too great. And I have to wear my hair up to hide those ends.

[Yozhik]

For me, I haven't seriously cut my hair since I became severely ill 3 1/2 years ago, and lately I've realized that it's become a bit of a visible time record for me. Hair holds a history of your health (at least when it comes to chemicals) and so it just seems fitting for me to not remove any of that for now.

I do S&D however...if I see a split there's no way I'm leaving it alone. :rolleyes:

I understand exactly what you mean -- my mother had longer than BSL hair, but then she had to get a serious operation. Before she underwent it, she got it cut off to a pixie to indicate a change in her life. She read an anthropology article on how hair was a display of sexuality and vitality, so she cut it all off when she got her hysterectomy.

[juliaxena]

I understand you just want to let it grow grow grow but isn't any one of you worried that if you dont cut off damage in time you will eventually have to cut more of your hair?

[Heidi_234]

I understand you just want to let it grow grow grow but isn't any one of you worried that if you dont cut off damage in time you will eventually have to cut more of your hair?
For me, the shorter it is, the less manageable and uglier it looks/feels. If I had 1a hair I'd probably wouldn't want it long, wouldn't even be here at all. I still feel my hair isn't long enough, so even if I pay with 1 damaged inch extra on the 5" that I currently keep instead of cutting, I'm okay with that, more than I'm okay with being barely waist again and basically between APL and BSL when curly.

[jel]

I understand you just want to let it grow grow grow but isn't any one of you worried that if you dont cut off damage in time you will eventually have to cut more of your hair?

Personally, I work on not damaging my hair in the first place - I handle it gently, don't use harsh chemicals, regularly oil and moisturise, and henna for strength (and colour!). I also do occasional S&D sessions, when I snip off individual split ends.

To answer the OP, at first, I was too impatient and wanted to gain as much length as possible. When I joined LHC and started growing my hair, barely shoulder length looked so far from my ultimate goal, tailbone... By now, though, after four years I got used to not trimming! :D

[Kris Dove]

My BSL hair would look more even if I trimmed to APL where I have some layers, but it looks okay IMHO so I'm just going to keep doing self-micro-trims to keep it tidy and search and destroy to cut off damage in time. I was thinking of maintaining BSL for a while till the layers grew out, but I've decided I'd rather keep growing till waist then maintain there till I grow out the layer instead. I'd love it to get back to classic, but I think once it gets to waist and starts feeling long to me again, I'll be in less of a hurry IYSWIM.

[Delila]

I understand you just want to let it grow grow grow but isn't any one of you worried that if you dont cut off damage in time you will eventually have to cut more of your hair?

A few years back, I always managed to trim about four times a year, because for whatever reason, my hair would get especially tangly right at the hemline. Clarifying, deep conditioning and other such things didn't help, so I'd trim a bit.

I'm assuming that the bit I trimmed away was just far more fragile than the rest of my hair, since it was old enough to date back to the days when I used a blowdryer.

I haven't trimmed for a while now, longer than my typical time frame, so if I felt the need to do a protective trim, I would.

[jivete]

I understand you just want to let it grow grow grow but isn't any one of you worried that if you dont cut off damage in time you will eventually have to cut more of your hair?

I used to believe this was true, but I don't think so anymore. In the last 18months since I came to this site and decided to forgo the perfect hem because I really, really wanted longer than APL hair, I have never noticed damage "traveling up the length" or splits causing more damage. I do S&D on a very regular basis and have to detangle carefully. Only by not over-trimming have I been able to grow my hair this long.

I have noticed that the old damaged hair I already had from dye and heat does tend to break more, but it would whether I trimmed it or not. It never affects the virgin hair or the healthy length and it often breaks above the level I'd trim to anyway. Trimming only serves to keep my hem looking good. I've barely trimmed in 18 months and my hair is the healthiest its ever been.

Eventually, I do believe all the damaged hair will have to go and I won't be sad to lose it once I can maintain my hair at a length I'm happier with. :D

[going gray]

I've decided to have "dustings" when needed even though my hair is SO short, Healthy good looking hair is more important to me than letting it just grow when I need a slight trim. Lucky for me I have a terrific stylist who wouldn't ever take off more.

[harley mama]

I went through chemo last year and shed a ton of hair. After the 8 months of treatments Imy DD trimmed about 6" off the ends because they were so thin and wispy. Since then I have been reluctant to give up any more.

[DMARTINEZ]

It just took me so damned long to get it to here in the first place. I am also a person who has trouble getting motivated to do laundry, or dishes...there's something about this "cycle" thing that just is not compatible with me. I hate that I load the dishwasher, run the dishwasher, unload the dishwasher, load it again...vicious cycle. Same with laundry...and I think cutting my hair is the same thing - I grew it, trimmed it, grew it, trimmed it - I just have a major hang up about the repetitive aspect of it, especially if I consider it unnecessary repetition. ;)

I can so relate to this about the vicious cycle thing! I hate making appointments,etc also. So,
its just easier to grow it.! :)

[spidermom]

I understand you just want to let it grow grow grow but isn't any one of you worried that if you dont cut off damage in time you will eventually have to cut more of your hair?

Yes. From July 2008 -- July 2009, I did not trim my hair at all. Now I notice splits that are open as much as 1 inch, instead of just a tiny bit at the end, as well as hairs that looks like the split traveled 2-4 inches up the hair shaft and then most of it broke off, leaving a little "side limb" sticking out. Although I gained 7 inches of length in that year, I've already trimmed off 4-1/2 inches because of damage. For me, I conclude that no-trimming is a mistake.

[dukkelisa]

I don't trim or S&D my hair at all. I personally don't have any desire or intention to cut it. The last time I took scissors to my hair was when I got a huge matted knot up close to my scalp and I had to cut it off. That bothered me a great deal. I never want to experience that again! I am blessed with not having split ends, so trimming is not necessary.

I guess my overall view is that I like hair that is natural, with fairytale ends. I find a small sense of pride to be able to say I haven't cut my hair in X number of years!

[feb26]

My hair is layered so trimming at home is impossible. I do go get trims (6months or more in between) but am really cautious about going as they usually take much more off than I want off. Have finally found stylist about 3yrs ago though who if I say "1inch-max" DOES just that.
Find the trims essential as I don't like a lot of splits on the end

[rogue_psyche]

I have a hard time relating to the people on this site who are obsessed with a healthy blunt hemline. With even the very little wave I have my hemline never appears blunt, even right after a trim. In fact, right after a trim the waves like to make my hemline appear crooked or even choppy. October 20th is my estimated anniversary of my last trim, and only now am I starting to get those wispies in my ends in a noticeable way. I think they're kind of romantic much in the way side swept bangs can be.

I do love the lack of velro-ends that freshly trimmed hair gets, but in the past the velro came back within a mater of weeks. Maybe now I can put my LHC care to use and lengthen that time period, but not until I am maintaining my goal of waist.

[jivete]

I think sometimes the perception is: thick blunt hem = health. Because long, very damaged hair doesn't usually have a thick hem because of breakage, a taper can be perceived as being damaged. At least that's my theory, anyway.

[gmdiaz]

I can manage dustings. . .without regret.

But I just keep thinking. . .no cuts until December. By then I'll be at a goal length, classic. I could use a larger trim though. . .two inches for sure. My ends are getting a little too fairytale.


I'll take the tiniest trim in December though, and then head on to finger tip length. . .my max length goal.

It causes me actual "anquish" to cut my hair very much. lolol