Anyone else experience others having a problem with you wearing hair sticks?

[Anywhere]

Today I decided to wear one of my hair sticks to school, which I usually don't do because I leave my hair down most of the time. My half-Asian friend saw it and had a good time yelling at me saying I'm "trying to be Asian" and that "white people can't wear hairsticks."

And then she promptly ignored me for the rest of the day. Apparently hair sticks are not for me.. :(

Anyone else ever have an experience like this?

[Heavenly Locks]

What a closed minded bratty friend you've got. NOBODY 'owns' hairsticks...what she said was very racist IMO.

Wear them.

[Anywhere]

Oh, and sorry if this is in the wrong place, I'm still kind of new at this.

[Kaileida]

Er... no. No, I can't say I have. I'm sorry to hear that, though.

[GlassEyes]

What a lovely little example of homespun racism. Your friend sounds lovely.

I'm a guy, and honestly, I haven''t had a single comment on it--not to my face, anyway. Well, that's not true, i got a few at work, but I work with a bunch of jackasses anyway, so I don't really value their opinions. They just think I do it because I'm 'gay' anyway. :rolleyes:

However, I've never had anyone accuse me of trying to be 'Asian' because of it. Also, I'm fairly certain other cultures use/have used hairsticks.

[missfortune9335]

uh, no. I've never heard that before. ever.

[little_acorn]

Umm I've been wearing then for many, many years and never had a problem, but then I think alot of people think I'm a bit eccentric anyway. I would say don't worry about it and enjoy wearing them :D

[ecologystudent]

Wow. I think she needs to relax a little. I don't think any one culture can claim that hair sticks belong to them; and Wikipedia at least agrees with me there (they site the Egyptians, Romans and Greeks).

[krissykins]

Wow, that's rude. White people can't wear hairsticks? Well, I guess white people can't eat rice either.

That's just wrong...

[GlennaGirl]

Today I decided to wear one of my hair sticks to school, which I usually don't do because I leave my hair down most of the time. My half-Asian friend saw it and had a good time yelling at me saying I'm "trying to be Asian" and that "white people can't wear hairsticks."

And then she promptly ignored me for the rest of the day. Apparently hair sticks are not for me.. :(

Anyone else ever have an experience like this?

That is incredibly weird. I used to wear hairsticks nearly every day and I never heard comments like that. I'm sorry you were told that.

There is a large Asian community here in the San Gabriel Valley so it can't be that.

Sorry this happened to you.

[longhairedfairy]

Uh, LOTS of cultures use hairsticks. Your "friend" needs to grow up.

[friskybiznus]

is she ignorant much? wear the heck out of those hairsticks!

[bigevilgrape]

I used to use hair sticks all the time and I only ever got compliments on them, and people telling me "I could never make my hair stay like that" I've never heard anything negative about them. Ignore your friend there is probobly something else bugging her today.

[Carolyn]

I wear hair sticks all the time and no one has ever said anything like that. There a lots of people where I live who would say ignorant things like that too. If it were me, I'd start wearing sticks every day and irritate the hell out of her.

[longhairedfairy]

I'd start wearing them every day, too. Definitely.

[GlassEyes]

Yep, I'm definitely with them. I'd totally wear them everyday, or at least while she's around. YAY VINDICTIVENESS TURNING OUT TO BE GOOD FOR HAIR. ISN'T SPITE GRAND? :D

[Flynn]

Ugh, what a racist little brat. Hopefully she'll keep ignoring you. You can do without "friends" like that.

My only problem I have had with wearing hairsticks is that they poke people when I hug them. (The people, that is, not the sticks.)

[lyria]

Yuck. Your friend sounds racist and totally ignorant. You might want to rebut by giving examples of other cultures that use hairsticks and have for thousands of years (Greeks and Romans for example). Just to help enlarge her viewpoint a little!

Also, if she can't see beyond your hairsticks, she's not such a great friend.

[MandaMom2Three]

Keep the stick loose the friend ;)

[pepperminttea]

Goodness, talk about an over-reaction. :( I've never had a problem like that, and when I was first learning how to use them it was with chopsticks, so I was a ridiculously easy target. I say keep wearing yours though, if she's a keeper she'll get over it soon enough.

[adiapalic]

Someone needs to do a little research on hairsticks before making baseless, and borderline racist comments. According to wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hair_stick#Historical_Use), Japanese culture is the only Asian culture to have influenced modern day hairsticks, so that would exclude Laotians, Thai, Chinese, and other Asians not from Japan from wearing them. Your little "friend's" logic is flawed. :)

I'm not that well versed in eastern cultures, but I do know that Asian countries have a lot of richness and diversity in their cultures. I think your friend needs to do a little research on that too, and perhaps learn there's much more to offer than one country's claim to fame with fashionable hair sticks.

I think you should treat yourself to another set of hairsticks and wear those to school as soon as you get them :flower:

[forgetmenotak]

That is a very obnoxious statement. I wouldn't let it influence you wearing your sticks, and don't let her bother you with statements like that.

[longgone]

Wow! Sounds like your friend is being a bit racist... I've lived in Asia for a long time and, believe it or not, sometimes they can be more racist than "white folks"...

Wear you hair sticks... As others have said, they are of Greek and Roman origin as well...

As for the friend, try explaining to her, both the origins and the fact that her comment was racist... If she's still mad at you, she's not a keeper anyway...

[talullah]

I really hate it when people say you can't wear certain things or use certain words because they "belong" to another culture. I haven't had the hairsticks thing happen, but I've been told several times not to use Mexican Spanish words because I'm not Mexican, I'm a white (Swedish/German/Irish ancestry) United Statesian. Seriously? :rolleyes: Shut up.

[Peter]

Racism fail. I bet your hairsticks look great. Enjoy them!

[camirra555]

That sucks. I've never experienced that but then again I don't wear mine too frequently. I agree with everyone else, ignore her and wear your sticks with your head high :)

[Peter]

Wear a kimono just to spite her :stirpot:

[aada]

Wear a kimono just to spite her :stirpot:

i was thinking something very very similar! :p

[KaasKnot]

The closest I've ever had to that was my first Sunday in the church choir, I wore my really big spikes, and apparently we weren't supposed to wear ostentatious jewelry/decorations. And that was more a problem with those particular sticks, not the supposed race they "belonged" to. Your friend's remarks were not very appropriate, I think.

[Flynn]

I really hate it when people say you can't wear certain things or use certain words because they "belong" to another culture. I haven't had the hairsticks thing happen, but I've been told several times not to use Mexican Spanish words because I'm not Mexican, I'm a white (Swedish/German/Irish ancestry) United Statesian. Seriously? :rolleyes: Shut up.

Uhm, the Spanish are "white". O.o

[ericthegreat]

Well on my own behalf as a full blooded Asian American myself, I will very confidently say that your "friend" is a very ignorant and mean spirited person. And since I'm a full blooded Asian American, you can tell her I'm disgusted by her actions and attitude towards you and that she DOES NOT speak for me or the Asian American community.

[windinherhair]

Oh definitely wear them if you like them. When I started my new job someone made a comment about my hair sticks and relating it to something about China in a joking way... I can't even remember the comment. I would just ignore those comments. I love hair sticks!

[LittleOrca]

Uhm, the Spanish are "white". O.o

Traditional Spaniards are, but perhaps they were thinking of Mexican-Spanish. Either way, who cares what others think? I used to want to wear a sari so bad, and I still do. I was afraid I might offend Indian women if I did, but I saw a post somewhere (don't remember the site) about an Indian woman saying, "I don't mind when people from other cultures wear a sari. I find it beautiful that they are willing to share something from my culture."

Now I just want one even more. :) As for your friend... Maybe find sticks that have little Asian charms on them... tiny fortune cookies, Hello Kitty, something just to be a brat. :) Not that I approve of brat-itude... all the time...:wannabe:

[girloctopus]

My reaction would probably be something like, "Hrmmm, WHAT?"

I'm pretty sure hairsticks as a concept have been around about as long as the wheel, and no one culture can lay first claim to it. It's not like elastics and claw clips were laying around on the ground for the cavemen to use to secure their hair back. A stick is pretty darned basic!

I personally would rethink my relationship with someone who attacked me like that over a real non-issue.

[joyellen]

How ridiculous and offensive of her. Wear your hair sticks whenever you want.

[Loreley]

She isn't right. It was traditional in some Middle and Eastern European countries, too. And wear whatever you want, don't give her the slightest attention.

[Rivanariko]

Wow... most of the comments I've gotten from wearing hairsticks have been admiring. Along the lines of "is that stick all that's holding your hair up?" from friends who know how long my hair is and how slippery it is.
Sounds like your "friend" has a lot of growing up to do.

[aada]

Uhm, the Spanish are "white". O.o

but most Mexicans aren't. She was referring specifically to Mexican Spanish in her post, which is a different dialect than the Spanish spoken in Spain. ;)


ETA: and i see that LittleOrca beat me to it, so now I will just clarify that the OP did specifically say MEXICAN Spanish. ;)

[Zéphine]

Meh, your friend is being silly. She'll probably get over it sooner or later. Maybe you can tell her that you're doing a "culture exchange". There are plenty of Asian people who wear jeans, speak English, eat sandwiches, etc. You're just trading with one of the Asian girls who's "trying to be white".
Okay, sarcasm aside, I disagree with people who think they should have a monopoly on all aspects of their ancestral cultures. Different people groups have always interacted and influenced each other. And in the end, all of us humans are a bunch of close relatives living together on one little planet. Is it not okay to do something just because your cousin happened to do it before you?

[Wicked Princess]

This is why I approve of slapping people in certain situations. ;)

I've never been harassed by the many, many Asian people I went to school with or grew up around when I wore hair sticks! Dump your "friend" - life is too short for negativity like that!

[Alaia]

That is absolutely ridiculous. Just in case you need one more person saying this: Wear your hairsticks. Every day. Your 'friend' needs to grow up and get informed as well.

The only things that I have had a problem with my hairsticks has been poking people with them. And that's the way it should be :p

[freckles]

At my cousin's wedding I wore a cheongsam and my hair in a hairstick, and was worried I looked a bit like I was appropriating Chinese culture. But the only reactions to my outfit were positive. Pretty much all the wedding guests were white though. I guess I'll discover the reaction to my hairsticks when I go back to my University, which has many Asian students and where I have many Asian friends.

The only negative reaction I've had so far to my hairsticks was from my boyfriend's mother, who thought they were 'too long' and 'looked dangerous' :p

[twolunarspring]

Today I decided to wear one of my hair sticks to school, which I usually don't do because I leave my hair down most of the time. My half-Asian friend saw it and had a good time yelling at me saying I'm "trying to be Asian" and that "white people can't wear hairsticks."




Wow, that's just.... bizarre :confused:

I have heard people claiming that white people aren't 'entitled' to have dreadlocks, which made me laugh quite a lot at the time. Also, that people getting tattoos are disrespectful to African people and Jewish people because of the associations with slavery/the Holocaust.

People have some very skewed ideas about some things. All you can do is try to understand, offer your own opinion and leave them to it.

[Juanita]

Wierd one.my asian friends like it when I wear something traditional. Spent time in S E Asia when young.
Litleorca Do get a sari you wil feel so feminine in it. Evenng parties are a good place to wear them at. I have a lovely red and silver one as a present from and indian friend.
I wore an Indian enspired pants and caftan outfit as mother of the bride at daughters wedding. Got heaps o compliments and told I lookd the perfect mother of the bride.
Juanita

[Silver & Gold]

I did hear a similar thought from someone who thought that if I were to wear paired hairsticks in an "X" pattern that I would be behaving in a racially offensive manner. I always wear mine on the same side because I prefer the asymmetry but I found it a rather unhappy thought that someone could be offended if I wore them in an "X".

Since imitation is the sincerest form of flattery one would think that this could be considered a tribute rather than an insult.

*sigh*

Sometimes it's just crazy what people will take offense to. It's too late to go back in time to the moment the comment was raised but perhaps you might find a time later when you could mention to her that you truly meant no offense and that there are actually people from many cultures, both historically and in present day that use hairsticks and various forks and combs to fasten their hair up.

But then again, sometimes the less said the better. I suppose it depends on how well you know this person and what your relationship is to her.

[Morrighan]

Yes. But not from Asians. It was whites and Mexicans, and on separate occasions. They weren't friends though, I didn't know them. I'm sorry your friend said that to you.

[halo_tightens]

That's so silly, the way she reacted. Seriously.

Sometimes it seems to me like people are just looking for something to give them an excuse to cry racism. I have a tiny tattoo of a cross on my wrist, and everyone seems to think it belongs to them. Christians ask if it's a Christian symbol; racists have asked me if it's a "n***** hating cross." (whatever that is!!) I just mean that people can turn almost anything into what they're looking for, if they're looking hard enough. We see what we want to see...

Sticks are sticks, and no one particular culture owns their use. Wear them beautifully!

[talullah]

Flynn:



I've been told several times not to use Mexican Spanish words because I'm not Mexican, I'm a white (Swedish/German/Irish ancestry) United Statesian.


Uhm, the Spanish are "white". O.o

:confused:

Yes, I know most Spaniards are white, and that there are quite a few white Mexicans as well. By giving my "makeup," I was trying to explain how not-Mexican I am-- I'm not Mexican-American, I'm not Spanish-American, I have zero latin or Native American blood in me whatsoever. Because of my background, I was told I can't use Mexican slang "naco", or its English/Spanglish equivalent "nack" (sp?)]

I'm not sure where you got the part about me not knowing Spaniards are white, honestly. I specifically spelled out "where my white is from" to clarify that I'm not a white Mexican or white Spaniard.

[Medievalmaniac]

That's so weird. Once my students got over how weird they thought hairsticks were in the first place, they have actually gotten very interested in them. It helps that I have so many incredibly gorgeous sticks now thanks to my Etsy foraging :D . Some of my students even have definitive opinions about which sticks best suit my hair, and so forth - it's become soemthing of a spectator sport: "Which sticks is she wearing today? What does her hair look like today?" But even when they thought hairsticks were weird and old fashioned, they never thouht I "shouldn't" wear them "because I'm not ethnic". I think this says a lot about your friend's attitude towards race and ethnicity, much more so than anything about you. Wear your sticks and love them!!!

[heidi w.]

Today I decided to wear one of my hair sticks to school, which I usually don't do because I leave my hair down most of the time. My half-Asian friend saw it and had a good time yelling at me saying I'm "trying to be Asian" and that "white people can't wear hairsticks."

And then she promptly ignored me for the rest of the day. Apparently hair sticks are not for me.. :(

Anyone else ever have an experience like this?

It's very important to learn to not believe everything you hear and everything you read.

Also, there's the cliche of "consider the source".

Hair sticks were worn by cave men and women.

heidi w.

[heidi w.]

The only time someone had a problem with my hairstick was when I hugged them and almost poked their eye out!

heidi w.

[heidi w.]

O! and isn't copying the HIGHEST form of a compliment?

Someone's pretty socially clueless on several levels.

heidi w.

[JamieLeigh]

Wow. That's incredibly racist, and I think I'd find a new friend after that. There is no one race that absolutely OWNS a hairstyle. Rock your hairsticks. :rockerdud

[lapushka]

Today I decided to wear one of my hair sticks to school, which I usually don't do because I leave my hair down most of the time. My half-Asian friend saw it and had a good time yelling at me saying I'm "trying to be Asian" and that "white people can't wear hairsticks."

And then she promptly ignored me for the rest of the day. Apparently hair sticks are not for me.. :(

If that's her general attitude towards you, then lose the so-called friend. Keep the sticks & wear them... often.

[Tess2319]

I'm with most of the board, the OP's "friend" is being mean. Who needs mean friends?


I used to want to wear a sari so bad, and I still do. I was afraid I might offend Indian women if I did, but I saw a post somewhere (don't remember the site) about an Indian woman saying, "I don't mind when people from other cultures wear a sari. I find it beautiful that they are willing to share something from my culture."Me too, Orca! I think a sari or a salwar-kameez would be the cat's meow in Houston heat and humidity! And the textiles are so yummy. Sorry for the thread-jack...

[Sheltie_Momma]

Wierd one.my asian friends like it when I wear something traditional. Spent time in S E Asia when young.
Litleorca Do get a sari you wil feel so feminine in it. Evenng parties are a good place to wear them at. I have a lovely red and silver one as a present from and indian friend.
I wore an Indian enspired pants and caftan outfit as mother of the bride at daughters wedding. Got heaps o compliments and told I lookd the perfect mother of the bride.
Juanita

Yeah I've worn sari lots of times and I'm in Houston Tx which has a large Indian population, no one has ever said anything except compliments.

[SpinDance]

<snip>
I'm pretty sure hairsticks as a concept have been around about as long as the wheel, and no one culture can lay first claim to it. It's not like elastics and claw clips were laying around on the ground for the cavemen to use to secure their hair back. A stick is pretty darned basic!


I was thinking something like that, too. Probably way longer than the wheel. I mean, where else are you going to put your hand spindle when you aren't spinning? Just kidding, but the idea of a stick to keep something from coming loose, hair, rope, whatever, is so ancient as to boggle the mind.

[teela1978]

Flynn:





:confused:

Yes, I know most Spaniards are white, and that there are quite a few white Mexicans as well. By giving my "makeup," I was trying to explain how not-Mexican I am-- I'm not Mexican-American, I'm not Spanish-American, I have zero latin or Native American blood in me whatsoever. Because of my background, I was told I can't use Mexican slang "naco", or its English/Spanglish equivalent "nack" (sp?)]

I'm not sure where you got the part about me not knowing Spaniards are white, honestly. I specifically spelled out "where my white is from" to clarify that I'm not a white Mexican or white Spaniard.

Um.... to my understanding, naco is a really offensive word in mexico/south america. Not quite as bad as the n word in the USA... but was used similarly in the past (although towards indigenous south americans rather than people of african descent).

You probably shouldn't be using that word.

[MissMaryMac]

I love my hairsticks, and I think the person who said that you was very ignorant. If you like them, keep wearing them!! :thumbsup:

[SpinDance]

Yeah I've worn sari lots of times and I'm in Houston Tx which has a large Indian population, no one has ever said anything except compliments.

I wear salwar-kazeem now and again. I've gotten a lot of compliments, and sometimes asked why. Always out of true curiosity, nothing uncomfortable. I wear them because they are so comfortable! And I like how they look.

[Eboshi]

Does your friend wear blue-jeans to school or her National dress ? :rolleyes: Someone needs to take a chill-pill.

[florenonite]

Are you sure this person's your friend? O_o To me this sounds akin to a Scot getting angry at an American for wearing a Burberry scarf because ZOMG! it's tartan!

(although Burberry's got totally different connotations in Scotland because the neds/chavs wear knock-off Burberry clothes)

My flatmate once had a girl from Hong Kong over in our flat and she thought it was funny we have an Asian teapot (I got it at an Asian supermarket because it was pretty and we needed a teapot); her family has that style of teapot in a china cabinet and just uses a plain one for everyday tea. She wasn't offended, though.


I really hate it when people say you can't wear certain things or use certain words because they "belong" to another culture.

I like it when people wear kilts, canoe or play bagpipes, because I see it as flattery. They like this thing from my culture enough to use it themselves, and as long as they don't think this makes them Scottish/Canadian, it's fine. I can understand people's anger if someone wears something from their culture and insists it makes them of that culture, but to simply wear it is a compliment, IMO.

I think one of the beautiful things about North America is its huge immigrant culture. This creates a large degree of multiculturalism, in which people exchange parts of their culture, which I think is an amazing thing. Who says you can't wear mocassins and go eat some haggis with chopsticks? Mocassins are comfortable (and gorgeous), haggis is tasty, and chopsticks are fun, and I think it's a wonderful thing that people in the modern world have the opportunity to combine things from different cultures.

[truepeacenik]

Well on my own behalf as a full blooded Asian American myself, I will very confidently say that your "friend" is a very ignorant and mean spirited person. And since I'm a full blooded Asian American, you can tell her I'm disgusted by her actions and attitude towards you and that she DOES NOT speak for me or the Asian American community.
I was thinking of my HK-born friend who delights in my sticks.
the comment is right up there with whites shouldn't have dreads (or, Asian folk)

[Amoretti]

Imagine if I got pissed off because of foreigners taking flamenco classes. :lol: Someone needs to chill.

[Amara]

Wow. I thought hairsticks originated in Egypt. But even then, if an Egyptian person said that, it would still be ridiculous. Your "friend" is being racist.

[talullah]

Um.... to my understanding, naco is a really offensive word in mexico/south america. Not quite as bad as the n word in the USA... but was used similarly in the past (although towards indigenous south americans rather than people of african descent).

You probably shouldn't be using that word.

Wow. I don't know about South America, but AFAIK in Mexico it ranges anywhere from as mild as "dork" to, at its worst, "redneck" or "white trash." Light years away from the n-word. It's used constantly on tv, and I have friends that jokingly call their friends nacos. It's not a compliment, but it's not at all controversial or inflammatory. :confused:

Most of the time I hear it, it would be translated as dork or loser.

[Laylah]

And how old is your friend? ...if this is enough to cause a fight you may want to rethink your friendship.

[Cherry_Sprinkle]

How incredibly RUDE of her!! When I see someone with beautiful hairsticks the last thing that comes to my mind is that they are trying to be someone or something else.. The first thing I automatically think is "oooh shiney!!" followed by "where did you get them?!?!"

I'm an American who is married to a Russian and our home is Oriental inspired inside, I would hate to think of what your friend would think of us! She's not only ignorant and misinformed but down right rude! I'm pretty sure humans very early ancestors probably had a few sticks in their hair! :eyebrows:


Keep the stick loose the friend
I totally agree!!


Well on my own behalf as a full blooded Asian American myself, I will very confidently say that your "friend" is a very ignorant and mean spirited person. And since I'm a full blooded Asian American, you can tell her I'm disgusted by her actions and attitude towards you and that she DOES NOT speak for me or the Asian American community.
Very well said Eric! I've never come across anyone who was like that in the least and everyone I have met has been perfectly lovely! I'm sure there are a few rotten apples here and there but OP, please know that the entire human race doesn't feel that way! Asian or otherwise!

[marikamt]

Wear a kimono just to spite her :stirpot:

LOL!!!!!! Tell her she can't wear jeans cause they "american" ............

I know, I know, that would be sinking to her level.........

Oops... just saw someone else said that... must-read-entire-thread before typing comments.....

[Fractalsofhair]

I could see you "trying to be Asian" if you suddenly dyed your hair blue black, straightened it, and was using chopsticks as hairsticks, along with using a parasol and liking anime... However, that's known as silly by most people, not trying to be Asian, and hairsticks are used by many cultures. (same deal with the parasols, black hair, straightening your hair, etc) That's like trying to be "White" if an African American doesn't speak with improper (for standard English) grammar and listens to punk(a dear friend of mine was insulted for that), or my trying to be a non Jew by not going to temple and wearing a Star of David. It's all silly.

[UncommonTart]

Y'know, in one of my archaeology classes today we were discussing some Clovis (North American culture that existed about 13,000 years ago, for all of you non anthropology geeks) sites where they have found decoratively carved bone and ivory pins. One theory as to their function is that they were worn in the hair. There's nothing new under the sun, apparently.

[mwedzi]

I really hate it when people say you can't wear certain things or use certain words because they "belong" to another culture. I haven't had the hairsticks thing happen, but I've been told several times not to use Mexican Spanish words because I'm not Mexican, I'm a white (Swedish/German/Irish ancestry) United Statesian. Seriously? :rolleyes: Shut up.

Were they speaking English when they told you that? :D

[shadowclaw]

A guy at work once asked me if I was going for an interview at a Chinese restaurant when I came in wearing a plain black pair of hair sticks. He was just trying to be annoying, though, and wasn't at all serious. He just likes to bust people and get people to laugh.

As for your friend, it's possible she was just kidding and decided to keep up the joke all day... a lot of people I know toss around a little playful racism with friends, if that makes sense. Like calling a close Irish friend a "drunk Mick" if they do something silly while drinking. The kind of stuff that gets a laugh out of the "victim" of the joke.

Of course, she shouldnt have been ignoring you for the rest of the day if thay were the case.

[julya]

Sometimes people kind of tease me that my hair sticks are chopsticks too, but not in a mean way.

[florenonite]

As for your friend, it's possible she was just kidding and decided to keep up the joke all day... a lot of people I know toss around a little playful racism with friends, if that makes sense. Like calling a close Irish friend a "drunk Mick" if they do something silly while drinking. The kind of stuff that gets a laugh out of the "victim" of the joke.

Of course, she shouldnt have been ignoring you for the rest of the day if thay were the case.

It really doesn't sound like friendly joking to me. I'm the butt of a lot of "racist" (not really racist, seeing as we're all white and British, more anti-nationality) jokes because I'm Canadian, but they don't involve people ignoring me or yelling at me. I particularly don't think it was a joke, given the OP's reaction. I laugh when my friends make jokes about canoes or moose, and if I got upset it would no longer be ok for them to do it.

[flapjack]

I have a ton of Asian friends, American and foreign-born and I've never been told this. If I was told this, I would literally laugh in the person's face for being a racist who is ignorant of all the other non-Asian cultures who have used hairsticks throughout history.

Don't worry about this situation, your hairsticks if you want to use them, or this girl... she's just another racist idiot.

[shadowclaw]

It really doesn't sound like friendly joking to me. I'm the butt of a lot of "racist" (not really racist, seeing as we're all white and British, more anti-nationality) jokes because I'm Canadian, but they don't involve people ignoring me or yelling at me. I particularly don't think it was a joke, given the OP's reaction. I laugh when my friends make jokes about canoes or moose, and if I got upset it would no longer be ok for them to do it.

Perhaps the Asian friend didn't realize that she was offending the OP? It is possible... but you are right, if it was a joke, then the friend would probably make "white people" jokes a lot and the OP wouldn't have been offended by this one.

And I wasn't aware that canoes are Canadian. I love canoes. I've been wanted to buy one for a while, but I don't really have a way to transport it anywhere (not to mention I don't have the money at the moment). But yeah. I thought they were a Native American thing.

[florenonite]

Perhaps the Asian friend didn't realize that she was offending the OP? It is possible... but you are right, if it was a joke, then the friend would probably make "white people" jokes a lot and the OP wouldn't have been offended by this one.

And I wasn't aware that canoes are Canadian. I love canoes. I've been wanted to buy one for a while, but I don't really have a way to transport it anywhere (not to mention I don't have the money at the moment). But yeah. I thought they were a Native American thing.

Yeah, it's conceivable she didn't realise she was being offensive, but still seems unlikely to me :shrug:

Canoes are a Native American thing, but they're very much associated with Canada; I think the birchbark and cedar strips are both from Canadian Native peoples.

[sally_neuf]

^ I kinda agree.. maybe you are used to "joke" like that? Still, if she sees it makes you feel bad, she should have stopped and apologize. like "I'm sorry, it fits you well!, I'm just kidding!" Is that THAT difficult?

If she didn't then she was just disguising her racism in "friendly" jokes, wich you must completly ignore, because anyway, it's just plain dumb.

well, yes, I'm latina, part dutch, part italian, part spaniard, part native-(south)american (wich have amazing hair, BTW).. part part... VERY mixed. so, I think racism is a nonsense.

[swanns]

Wow, how ignorant.

I've been asked a couple of times why I'm wearing "those things" in my hair or what "those things" are, sometimes in a slightly mean manner, but that's just because apparently some people have never seen a pair of hairsticks before. Usually people just admire them.

[deko]

That's so rude and racist! Do your friend wear jeans or something else American? And why the hair sticks belong to Asian cultures? I would find other friends, ones that aren't that narrow-minded.

I use knitting needles as hair sticks, would that offend?

[Brat]

The first person I ever saw wearing a hair stick was Native American. I'm positive she wasn't trying to be Asian! I never thought anything cultural about it, just thought it was a cool new way to keep the hair up and i had to figure out how to do it for myself. I love my hair sticks!

How rude and totally racist of her. Wear them and love them! Don't you feel bad about her issue!

[Odile]

Wear your sticks proudly and happily and totally ignore whatever silly, ridiculous things she says about them.

Funniest comment I've received on a hairstick: "Hey! Did you know somebody stabbed the back of your head with a stick?"

[Rini]

You know, I don't think her reaction has anything to do with you wearing hair sticks per se. I think her over-reaction was the result of jealousy, pure and simple. She thought they looked great on you, but perhaps felt inferior herself by comparison. There are other self esteem problems at play here and perhaps you should give her time to resolve them.

Meanwhile, you give her a wide berth and continue wearing those hair sticks :D

[Gladtobemom]

Romans wore single stick hair pins made of metal, bone, and wood. One end was often decorated with a decorative object, carving, or texture.

Take a look at these
(http://www.ancienttouch.com/roman%20toilet%20implements.htm)

A curved piece of animal rib bone was a popular "hair stick" for many of the ancient cultures of the world.

It is true that the Japanese elevated kanzashi to artistry in their culture. Decorative hair pins, forks, and combs for hair were also made all over the world.

Functionally . . . hair hasn't really changed. The need to get it out of our way attractively has been solved using "hair sticks" or single "hair pins' for a very long time.

[Elvi]

I have got a negative remarks from family about such plain hair sticks that look too much like chopsticks. Just the idea of wearing eating tools in the head is not too appealing.

[eadwine]

Hey.. it's normal.. I did it too!

http://img244.imageshack.us/img244/4820/hairfork.th.jpg (http://img244.imageshack.us/i/hairfork.jpg/)

Complete with food.

[Elvi]

:p:) Many thanks eadwine. You look DELICIOUS !

[LaurelSpring]

Wear your hairsticks and let her deal with it and get over it. It doesnt have to be an in your face sort of way but gently telling her that you are not wearing them to upset her but that you love them and enjoy wearing them and will continue to do so.

[eadwine]

:p:) Many thanks eadwine. You look DELICIOUS !

:lol: You're welcome

I'd say "print out an article explaining the origin of the hair stick, give it to her and leave her be".

If she apologizes, fine. If she doesn't then leave her be permanently :)

[rchorr]

Oh, please. Maybe they were just jealous that their hair wasn't long enough to use sticks. I wear them all the time, and I'm caucasian. And, my asian friends have never made any comments, except to tell me if they really like particular sticks.

Sheesh. Maybe "friend" is not quite the right word.

I'm so sorry you went through this. I wouldn't worry about it and wear the stick(s) anyway. Of course, I'm a bit on the "stubborn" side ;^)

RCHORR'

[Medievalmaniac]

Hey.. it's normal.. I did it too!

http://img244.imageshack.us/img244/4820/hairfork.th.jpg (http://img244.imageshack.us/i/hairfork.jpg/)

Complete with food.

Eadwine...do you have any cheese to go with that delicious harifork? ;)

[eadwine]

:lol: No unfortunately not, unless it is sliced cheese ;)

[susiemw]

I'm sorry your friend weirded out on you but whether she likes it or not white people use hair sticks all the time. I love mine and, no, I've never had anyone react like that.

I wouldn't let someone elses' biases determine how you wear your hair.
There is always going to be someone out there that doesn't like what you're doing.
You just have to chalk it up to it being their problem and not yours.

good luck

susan

[nyemelis]

I lived in Japan for two years, and I have to say I see more people using sticks to put their hair up in the US than I did there.:rolleyes:

I haven't been to Korea or China or many other countries in Asia though, so take that with a grain of salt.

Pretty interesting though.

[bjt]

My asian husband has no problem with me using hair stick. Well, except for when they are a little too long and poke him in the face when he hugs me. then he kinda has a problem with them. But otherwise, he (and his family) have only said positive things.
I've never had anyone say anything negative about hair sticks.

I'm sorry your friend freaked out. It seems rather odd to me.

[senorasunny]

I've only worn my hair sticks out in public once or twice (I have a hard time getting them to stay in my hair, I think it isn't quite long enough yet). This morning I French braided my hair and wrapped the tail into a bun and stuck a stick horizontally through it. When I came out of the bathroom, my husband made a comment about me looking light the flight attendant from "Meet the Parents." (I already loathed that woman for making hair sticks seems like they are ridiculous.)

I know he wasn't trying to be mean, but I feel a little bummed. I think that hair sticks are an elegant way to wear long hair. I admit I had thought I looked a little like her, but assumed I was just being paranoid. Maybe I'll just wear my sticks when I am at work :-/

[Sarahmoon]

Heh, the OP's friend is only half Asian. I guess she would only wear half a hair stick herself then?

What an ignorant little child. I guess she was indeed just jealous how good they looked.

[JenniferNoel]

People are so weird, could be jealousy, or she was just getting overly defensive about her nationality, or something like that... I just think it's so stupid that people let what someone is wearing get to their heads to the point where they makes comments.

[jane53]

A friend of mine first taught me how to use hair sticks well over 30 years ago. She was half Asian--half Japanese, and she had all these beautiful inlaid chopsticks that she ate with. She took a pair out of her dish drainer--beautiful, abalone inlaid--and told me they'd look great in my hair. I said "How?!" so she showed me. And I'm as Anglo as they come. No trying to be Asian. Just one good friend giving hair hints to another. For years, I was the only person I knew who did that who wasn't Asian. But by your friend's standards, we shouldn't listen to jazz or rock-and-roll because they have African roots.

[Capybara]

That's too bad, I'm so sorry this happened to you!

I haven't had something like that happen to me per-say, however I have had a few people make comments on when I wear chopsticks in my hair ("You going to eat sushi today?" "Your hair looks good enough to eat!" etc..) but these comments are always made in fun, and we laugh it off together.

If your "friend" cares about what you wear more than who you are, I might reevaluate the friendship .. It's racist, and pretty much the same if you made fun of her wearing western style clothing. I hope things work out!:blossom:

[IcarusBride]

Your friend sounds really judgemental... Maybe she's a closet asian-wannabe overcompensating for it by lashing out at what she perceives to be your asian-wannabe behavior?
I'm from MA as well and in my area there are literally NO asians, but for some reason a very high number of these 'wannabe' creatures.

[Henrietta]

Yes. Hairsticks are totally not popluar in Poland. I have never seen anyone wearing them. Apart from me in a mirror:D So when I am wearing my Chinese sticks people are tend to take them out of my buns and say that I should eat with it, not wear it on my head. I hate it.
Probably they, and your schoolmate too, are jealous, because it's a secret for them how to make an updo with sticks. My friend couldn't believe that I don't use an elastic and hair pins when I am wearing hairsticks. And they have no idea for updos, just ponytail, ponytail and ponytail. Don't understand me wrong, I don't mind ponytails.

[lux_aeterna]

The only problem another person had with me wearing a hairstick was my BF - I totally poked him into his nostrils with it once. :D

But on topic, I never ever had any bad comments about my hairsticks.

[voluspa]

My mom says stuff like this. Things like chopsticks will make her say, "Trying to be Asian?" I just chalk it up to her being old-school conservative....and ignorant. Not the most lovely attribute. Not sure what's up with your friend,.

[May]

Lol that's sort of hilarious :P Well I can only assume she's in highschool or something and she hasn't seen much diversity or hairstyles in her short time on this earth :P hmmm...But in all seriousness that's kind of racist not to mention mean.

[Milui Elenath]

The only problem another person had with me wearing a hairstick was my BF - I totally poked him into his nostrils with it once. :D

But on topic, I never ever had any bad comments about my hairsticks.

Lol yes my DH has experienced that as well.

OP, I would keep wearing them if you want to. The novelty will either wear off for your ''friend" and if not others will likely see what sort of a person she is rather than looking at you.

I personally haven't had any comments (other than I could never wear one my hair is too thick :rolleyes:)

Plus I work with families of diverse cultures and have two colleagues of asian background - they actually pointed out to me some chopsticks once in a Japanese shop while we were shopping for our workplace and asked me if they would make good hairsticks.

[julliams]

I'm thinking your friend is a 'lil jealous that you came up with a really cool way to wear your hair that she didn't think of. Keep wearing your hair the way you like it and ignore comments like this.

[missmandy]

No, I've never heard that. But I have another problem: Whenever I wear hairsticks one of my "friends" thinks it hilarious to pull them out so I have to completely redo it.

[noelgirl]

Wow. I've never had that happen - in fact, an Asian guy I work with has complimented me on my hair sticks. Didn't try to say I was co-opting his culture or anything of the sort. Being something of a mutt myself, I may be projecting this onto your friend just a bit, but she may be overcompensating for some insecurity of her own. Not everyone who's mixed is going to feel like this, but if she's not secure in her own identity, she might feel that in order to identify with one group, she has to really grab on with both hands and it sounds like she's more than a little bit defensive about that. I can understand her wanting a culture to call her own - I do sometimes wonder what it would be like to have a different language spoken at home or to identify strongly with a nationality - but it is unfair of her to lay all of that on you.

[luckyduck]

That is why I use knitting needles instead of chopsticks. Not that YOU can't wear them, I just can't pull it off. I just felt silly with the chopsticks.

[julliams]

I have found my chopsticks too long. 6" is perfect for me so I use hairsticks that have been designed at that length. I did find some kids chopsticks but they had kiddy designs on them that I wasn't prepared to wear. They would have been the perfect length too.

[LoversLullaby]

Goodness, that's awful. :( No one owns hair sticks and anyone can wear them if they want to - regardless of race. Most of the time at school people love my hair in hair sticks, although they do say they like it down better. :) But I'm sorry she said that to you, that's just awful.

[Lielananna]

I've been wearing chopsticks in my hair for a while now and never had any problem with someone saying I shouldn't be wearing them because I'm white. I'm sorry you had to deal with that attitude.


I have found my chopsticks too long. 6" is perfect for me so I use hairsticks that have been designed at that length. I did find some kids chopsticks but they had kiddy designs on them that I wasn't prepared to wear. They would have been the perfect length too.

I found a website with kid's chopsticks that don't have kiddy designs on them that I really like (http://asianideas.com/chforkibura.html).

[GRU]

I found a website with kid's chopsticks that don't have kiddy designs on them that I really like (http://asianideas.com/chforkibura.html).

Thank you for enabling me, er, I mean, thank you for posting that link! ;)

[eezepeeze]

The only comment I've ever had about them at all is one of my little students (first grade) asked why I was wearing that "stick thing" in my hair. I explained that it was holding my hair up and she shrugged and went on with her day.

It sounds like your friend is insecure about her own race or looks/hair. It sounds as though she is experiencing some inferiority and self-confidence problems. If she still bugs you about it, just tell her how much you admire the traditional Asian cultures and styles and how much it means to have a friend that can give you inside knowledge. Really butter her up and she will feel too bad to criticize. If that doesn't work, avoid her as much as possible. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.

[EtherealOde]

How very 'mean girls' of her. It sounds to me like she needs to work on her maturity. And she doesn't sound so much like a friend imo.

[christine1989]

Wow, that is a huge overeaction! I live in an area thta is at least 1/3 asian and none of them seem to notice or mind.

[ArienEllariel]

I've honestly never had someone bother me about wearing hair sticks. The only time someone paid them any mind was when they realized the stick I had in was really a light saber and all I got were compliments.

[luckyduck]

Where did you get the Light Saber, my kids would just flip!

[Bethie]

Wow, I'm not sure why a hair stick would constitute trying to be anything, other than wearing your hair up. But either way, your friend was being rude and a tad hypersensitive. Sorry you had to deal with that.

[ArienEllariel]

Where did you get the Light Saber, my kids would just flip!

It's actually from a set of these (http://http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/japanfan/c50f/) in green. :D

[jenjen10]

I have never had anyone say anything to me about wearing hair sticks and I have worn them for years... the only problem "others" may have with them is my BF who sometimes is in danger of losing an eye! LOL

[FrannyG]

I thought I'd heard just about everything by now, but this is a new one on me. I've seen people of all ages and races wear hair sticks, in real life and in the movies, all my life.

Ridiculous!

[juliaxena]

That's like saying she can't wear jeans or something. Strange.

[PrincessTieflin]

I have never had anyone say anything to me about wearing hair sticks and I have worn them for years... the only problem "others" may have with them is my BF who sometimes is in danger of losing an eye! LOL

That is why I usually trade my sticks in for a srucnchi or claw before he gets home lol as pretty as they are (he thinks so as well) I cannot tell you how many times hos glasses have been scratched by sticks lol. We call them "Stick protection"

Sorry to hear folks are over sensative about your sticks...

wear them and be proud of your long hair ;)

I personally NEVER get comments (good or bad ) about my hair maybe that is a blessing in disguise

[luckyduck]

ArienEllariel, The link doesn't work, is it the keychains?

[GRU]

ArienEllariel, The link doesn't work, is it the keychains?

There was an extra http in the link.

Here's a fixed one: http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/japanfan/c50f/

And these are AWESOME -- too bad they're sold out!!!

[natt i nord]

I rarely get asked from other classmates why I would wear such things. I'll just say 'because I like it' and forget the reactions in about half a second.
It's just not worth it to explain that there are people who like that, they'll never understand.

At my school I'm the only one I've seen so far who does such hairstyles, and in town I've never seen people wearing hairsticks too. I just saw someone once who wore something that reminded me of a Senza Limiti.

[GoddesJourney]

Yeah, I've stabbed my husband in the face a few times if he tries to hug me from the side or behind and I turn my head to look at him. I've stopped wearing them. They're not all that comfortable anyway, but I don't think it's worth the risk of putting my husband's eye out.

[luckyduck]

There was an extra http in the link.

Here's a fixed one: http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/japanfan/c50f/

And these are AWESOME -- too bad they're sold out!!!
Way cool, thanks for the new link! I signed up for the availability alert! My kids will love it!

[luckyduck]

The fat double pointed knitting needles I wear are only 7.5 inches, and they don't stick out so far. So far no eyes have been damaged. LOL!

[GRU]

Way cool, thanks for the new link! I signed up for the availability alert! My kids will love it!

You're welcome!

And to heck with my kid... *I* will love it!!! :D

[Luna12345]

u need to tell ur friend " Okay there....girlfriend " whatever the heck her problem is , she's just being childish.....if she ever curls her hair....u should do the same to her...tell her asians are meant to have straight hair ONLY...lol

[Barniie]

Well, this has never happened to me, but does anyone know how to use hairstricks in very soft, smooth hair? Mine is like fluff its so annoyingly fine, but theres ALOT of it. Anyone know how to give my hair some grip? thanks :)

[Mirabella]

Where I live I never saw anyone wearing hairsticks. If women put their hair up they use the rubbish you get in every drugstore. Recently I saw I girl with some kind of stick but it turned out to be part of a slide.

[luckyduck]

I just bought a wooden shawl pin to use as a hair stick. I tend to use only one stick at a time. I am still waiting on the light sabers!!!!!!

[joiekimochi]

Usually when I wear hairsticks I am met with amazement e.g. "Omg, is that the only thing that's holding up your hair?" "Do you use bobby pins with that?" "That looks really difficult to do!"

There was only one instance when someone said something negative. This girl in one of my classes, who for some childish reason, didn't like me because I was the kind that always gave the correct answers or offered counter-arguments, gave a snide comment after I had cracked a joke in class.

"Looks like that chopstick went through your brain."

I proceeded to point to the two ends my hairstick which were sticking out of my bun. "Pray, have you not seen a straight chopstick before?"

[Fractalsofhair]

Lol, just realized that the "Roman hairstick" that was on ebay a few hours ago and that there was a thread about here would be a great comeback... "See, this is ancient Roman. Does THAT look like something a modern Asian woman would wear?" xD (or any modern woman for that matter xD)

[paperwhite]

I've never had anything said about them (to my face, anyway...I have a sneaking suspicion that one of my new co-workers dislikes them. Tough for her :P), but my poor cousin gets a bunch of flak from other students (she's 14) when she wears her hair up with sticks. Hers really are chop sticks (beautiful painted ones given to her by her best friend who happens to be Asian), and at least 8", but that shouldn't matter. She should be able to keep her hair up with whatever she wants without harassment. She has gorgeous, thick light-medium blond hair and I've been encouraging her to wear it however she likes while sharing with her the LHC tips and tricks for caring for her hair. I put her hair up in a figure eight bun and it nearly ate the entire length of one stick!

Sorry for the rambling, I got a little off track! Anyway, I hope she and the OP will be able to wear hair sticks or whatever else they please without having to run into close minded bullies who can't keep their negative comments to themselves!

[CaliforniaAnne]

Hairsticks have appeared in virtually every culture there is. Why? Because everyone had, and has, sticks that lay around, and stuck 'em in their hair because it's convenient to have your hair out of your face when you are working. Look up pictures of Queen Elizabeth--there are a few you can show your friend of "white people wearing hair sticks". Your friend needs to get over herself.

[cmcwell]

Keep the hair sticks. Get a new friend. :)

[Belisarius]

Hairsticks have appeared in virtually every culture there is. Why? Because everyone had, and has, sticks that lay around, and stuck 'em in their hair because it's convenient to have your hair out of your face when you are working. Look up pictures of Queen Elizabeth--there are a few you can show your friend of "white people wearing hair sticks". Your friend needs to get over herself.
There are several of her, can you make it easier for others? I.o.w. do you have a link of a painting of her wearing one of those?