Reactions to Bunned versus "Down" Hair

[fluffybunny]

I've been wearing my hair bunned (well as close as I can manage with this length) every day for a week now. At first it seemed people were staring a bit, perhaps just due to the change, since my hair normally hides quite a bit of my face. Then the other day I was at a restaurant and felt sort of, well, as if men were noticing me less than normal. Just kind of looking past me rather than at me. I started to wonder-- is it the bun?

What do you all think-- do you feel you get less attention or a different kind of attention with hair bunned versus down?

[Armelle]

Well, for one thing, the people at work (or wherever you see them often) are probably used to seeing you wear your hair the same way for so long...a change is very noticeable. Also, from personal experience, going from an obscuring hairstyle to a revealing one is very...challenging (for lack of a better word right now.) Because I'm so aware of how much of my face I'm showing to people, I think everyone else is just as aware. But it's probably not quite that bad.

[motormuffin]

I always got noticed more with my hair down...oooohh hair....unless I had a wacky updo.

[mira-chan]

I wear my hair up most of the time, especially at work. Whenever I come with it in a braid (relatively rare) or a half up (Very rare) I get more comments and reactions just because it's different. It's probably the same thing for you.

I don't wear my hair fully down unless I'm just walking around not far from home or similar, never to work for safety reasons.

[Merlin]

Personally, I like the look of hair pinned up, as much as hair down.

It may be your imagination that men (or indeed anybody) are 'noticing you less'. I don't think that it's true that men notice long hair loose more than hair up or maybe I'm being naive here.

You may have got more looks as Armelle said because it was different and human beings react very strongly to change - it's an evolutionary survival thing. If you'd always worn it up in a bun and one day wore it down you'd have got the same reaction. As an experiment try doing something else very different with it that they've never seen before at work and see how many people notice. Try pigtails though and I suspect the type of reaction you get might be more separated along gender lines!

[Heidi_234]

I've got "ooh your hair is long!" when I took it down at work to dry, because usually I wear it up with all the length hidden. But that makes sense, because it takes an LHCer to estimate how long hair is if the bun is this or that big. :p

[Tornerose]

I have the same experience as you, fluffybunny.
I get more attenton with hair down, and when hair is up people barely notice me.
Sometimes I like it... or plan on liking it, then suddenly notice the most gorgeous human beeing ever... And it's not like you can just be like "oh I suddenly decided to wear my hair down" without beeing too obvious that you're trying to get the attention either.

[LaurelSpring]

I have the same experience as you, fluffybunny.
I get more attenton with hair down, and when hair is up people barely notice me.
Sometimes I like it... or plan on liking it, then suddenly notice the most gorgeous human beeing ever... And it's not like you can just be like "oh I suddenly decided to wear my hair down" without beeing too obvious that you're trying to get the attention either.


I've done this. I would see some cute guy and think dang, I wish my hair was down right now :eyebrows:

[spidermom]

I've never gotten a compliment on a bun (although my Ficarre got a compliment once), only loose hair or a braided style.

[Thinthondiel]

I guess I'm being a bit blunt here, but I do think many people find loose hair attractive, while they think of buns as something that old women wear. I myself find loose hair a lot more attractive than buns, although I find it very practical to wear my hair in a bun now and then. :shrug:

[rhubarbarin]

I don't think you are imagining things. I get much more overt attention (to the point where I put my hair up if I am walking somewhere because I don't like to be catcalled), and many more compliments, with loose hair.

For my boyfriend longer, loose hair is a must for an attractive woman, and for many men long hair is something that's sexually appealing.

Older women seem to really like curls and hair with lots of body, so they will compliment my curliness.


I myself think loose hair framing the face is much more flattering than pulled-back for most women, but it's just a personal preference. I don't get excited about updos on other people or myself, I really just like to see hair free-flowing. However my life and other's isn't about looking the best all the time, with it up I feel like I am minimizing attention to myself and I like that, plus I am trying to protect my hair..

[3894732]

I don't think it's so much that people dislike buns (many people like the 'librarian' and 'classic dancer' looks, for examples), so much as that they aren't as striking as your loose hair because buns can hide length. I got much much less attention when my hair was in a bun than when it was down. I had my hair in a fake crown braid once (normal braid wrapped around the head), and when I took it down to show the one person who was commenting on it, suddenly I was talking to five people.

Buns are also more common now, I think, due to the fake ones you can buy.

[indigonight]

I've noticed that when my hair is down I get more attention than when it is up, I think that the media influences us and men in particular to think women are hotter with their hair down, in most movies the heroines run around, save the world in heels with long hair down -mostly this hair is extensions and probably if it gets knotted is just replaced and of course this are dramatized scenes as any woman knows you cant kick box, save the world, escape from aliens, robots etc in stilettos with loose waist length hair...

[Carolyn]

People that I see regularly might make a comment on a change. Everyone I know knows that my hair is long so I don't think they think they need to comment on it. It's just part of me. I rarely get hair attention from a stranger. I suppose some look when it's down but I'm not good at noticing if people are looking at me.

[fluffybunny]

...then suddenly notice the most gorgeous human beeing ever... And it's not like you can just be like "oh I suddenly decided to wear my hair down" without beeing too obvious that you're trying to get the attention either.

Yeah, I suppose walking up and casually pulling out your hairstick and shaking out your tresses might seem a bit forward :)

[Tornerose]

I've done this. I would see some cute guy and think dang, I wish my hair was down right now :eyebrows:
And

Yeah, I suppose walking up and casually pulling out your hairstick and shaking out your tresses might seem a bit forward :)

Yeah you might awell just hike up the skirt, and push what you can out of the cleavage while you're at it. You can't get more obvious really.

I've sometimes prayed that my bun would fall out by itself, so that I'd had to redo it, but usually by the time my hair hears my prayer, the object of desire is gone... or already kissing their girlfriend or whatever :(

[AJoifulNoise]

I have received a few compliments over the last couple years for buns and braids. Mostly from women who think it must be really complicated. But, I get way more attention with it down. Sometimes I like the attention, sometimes I don't.

[Sylvanas]

I'm gonna be totally honest here. I think very few people pull off a tight bun. While the bun itself might be beautiful, it will show off your flaws so well. Now as you say on this forum, "I'm not here to decorate your world". I think this is a great point, but sometimes I see people with bunned hair, and I think to myself "she'd look so much better with her hair down, or with a few tendrils pulled out".

Half-ups or braids are much more flattering in my opinion. I, like most of my male friends, think long loose hair is generally the most flattering on a woman. When it comes to what I notice, there are two things that really grabs my attention. Healthy looking hair with a colour that suits the person sporting it (this could be gray or pink for that matter, but it is almost always longer hair), in which case I compliment them on it. And people with unflattering haircuts/buns/colour, in which case I say nothing unless it's a close friend.

I'm a firm believer in making your own choices about how you want to look, but that doesn't mean I don't have a personal opinion about what would suit you best. I hope no one is offended by this :)

[Copasetic]

I wear my hair bunned or braided pretty much every day. So when I wear my hair down, my friends make a lot of comments. In my experience, people tend to like the look of loose hair more than hair pulled back. People are ALWAYS telling me to wear my hair loose more often.

[twolunarspring]

I certainly get a lot more attention with my hair down... which isn't surprising, as it's very long and red and generally quite noticable. I'm definitely more likely to be flirted with than my hair down than up... but a lot more likely to be taken seriously by 'official' people if it's neatly bunned.

[Belisama]

I think people noticed hair down more than if it is in a bun. Many women, especially in America, have shorter hairstyles and bun more or less gives you a short, compact style. With it down, and especially if it is waist or longer, that is a rarity in many Western countries and therefore draws more attention.

From personal experience, I have received many complements on hairsticks that I have worn, everywhere from a fabric store to the lady handing me my driver's license at the DMV, but I have not received any hair complements. However, when I wore my hair down once while walking down the sidewalk, I got whistled and honked at by a firetruck full of firefighters ;)

[Zéphine]

I'm probably in the minority, but I think I look better with my hair up or back (i.e., no hair in my face except wispy little baby hairs). People do comment on my updos, though that's more about how complicated-looking they are than about how much they flatter my face.
I don't wear my hair down that much, so people notice when I do. Once, when my hair was in a braid instead of a bun, I got asked: "Did you cut your hair?...It looks shorter down."

[fluffybunny]

I'm probably in the minority, but I think I look better with my hair up or back ...

I think my cheekbones and ears are shown to much better advantage, but I'm a little self-conscious of my less-than-entirely-firm jawline and my not-very-long neck. One woman I know insists I look much prettier with it up. I guess different people notice different things.

[Aunteater]

You're not imagining it. I wear my hair up most of the time, when I am in public, because I don't like the extra attention. A nice staid bun makes me practically invisible :) I've noticed if I go for something complicated and braided, women (especially older women) notice and compliment, but not men. I enjoy that.

[young&reckless]

I get more attention when it is down but I tend to wear it up at work. To which I get some rude explain that bun comments. I don't like feeling like I should defend having my hair up so I just ignore them.

Hair up at the pub however is usally taken down without my consent my the owner or my favorite bartender. I let them get away with it most days.:p

[Candide]

If your hair covers a lot of your face, it may be that men are less comfortable looking you full in the face. Think of it this way: it's okay to stare at long hair, but is it okay to openly gawk at a person? Hiding the hair and showing the face, rather than showing the hair and hiding the face, puts you at the forefront.

[Honey39]

Hair down gets me a lot more attention. Although having said that, I wear my hair up half the day and then take it down at lunchtime; a couple of people have said that they love the 'taking the hair down' moment, lol.

As for attracting men when I'm out and my hair is up - I have been known to casually let my hair down, tousle it a bit, and then put it back up again, so they briefly see the length and colour etc...so bad of me, lol. But my hair is between bsl and waist, so it's easy to do this manoeuvre casually!

[Marika]

I only get "hair attention" when my hair is down (and only from men). People close to me are used to see me bunned/braided all the time and they usually never comment on my hair or hairtoys. Last week one of my co-workers asked me to teach her some buns and that's probably the biggest compliment I've ever gotten regarding updos.

[SheaLynne]

This is a great question. It's something I'm dealing with now that I'm wearing my hair up alot more.

I've done french braids occasionally since I was a pre-teen, and I always get comments from women about how I could do that on myself (or asking if my dh did it for me LOL)...basically based on the "complicated" part, rather than my hair.

With buns, I have yet to get any kind of comment from any women or men. Even when I started wearing sticks for the first time, and it was all very different from anything I had done before. NOTHING.

But when I wore it down once after wearing buns quite a bit, suddenly someone RAVED about how gorgeous my hair is. :rolleyes:

**************

Here's my take on it. It's the same thing portrayed in the "geek to cool" movies (thinking of The Princess Diaries and such) where the unpopular girl wears her hair up and has glasses. They transform her into "gorgeous" and "cool" by letting her hair down and getting rid of the glasses. Suddenly she's beautiful...ha!

I think it does depend on what kind of attention you want. It's why younger single girls tend to have long hair and wear it down (guys like it).

Being married and not wanting to get that kind of attention from other men, I tend to wear my hair up more but down around my dh. He gets to enjoy it ;)

Just my thoughts fwiw

[saskia_madding]

I find the dichotomy between being found sexually attractive and being taken seriously really interesting and upsettingly true. It's one of the reasons I wear my hair up a lot, espeically to school and work. The minute people start looking at you through a framework of "I'd do her" or "is she more doable than me?", your opinion is often taken far less seriously. And frankly, my boobs are already doing that job for me, even though I'm not svelte and model gorgeous (what I also call "paradigm hot"), so putting my hair up helps to minimize that.

A truck full of firefighters? I don't know them, they drive by, they should influence my life not at all ... BUT they interject themselves into my life for a *brief instance* for the sole purpose of judging me? GEE, THANKS. I get a fair amount of attention whether my hair is up or down, so I'm not just being bitter here. I hate that society viewing women first as object of visual pleasure currently works for me, and I'll hate it when it works against me. And it invariable does work against 98% of women, because we all age and not many of us look like Sophia Loren are we do so.

I long to live in a society where women are not seen first and *MAYBE* heard later, where a woman's body is not public domain to peruse at will, judge, place value on (value that translates to the value of the person herself), and comment on out loud.

I know I'll be dead long before that happens.

[Runzel]

Hair in a bun makes me more invisible, hair worn down is like a magnet for attration. At least that's been my experience.

[eadwine]

It could be the bun. I notice that people don't see me when I am wearing something plain, however when I adorn the bun a bit all of a sudden I stand out more than a person wearing her hair down does.

[ClareDee]

I appreciate a nice updo as much as loose hair, and I thought most people felt the same (I mean most people who'd even notice someone's hair in the first place).

But a week ago I went for drinks with this guy I had been at college with. I had my hair up for most of the time, but it started falling down so I took it down. A while later he asked me if I wanted to play pool, so I said OK and started putting my hair back up again. He said "Oh leave it down. It's nicer loose".
That's the first time any man (outside of this forum) ever commented on my hair being nice either up or down, so it surprised me. I left it down and it was kind of annoying. I'm (really) bad enough at pool without having hair in my face.

That supports the men-prefer-it-down theory anyway. Although he might have been just trying to make me hurry up to go play the game, I don't know.

I can't say I've felt myself being generally more 'noticed' with my hair down though. I'm only at APL though, so nothing special about the length.

[Melisande]

When I have my hair up, I'm invisible. I get compliments from old ladies for my varying styles, but that's it.

When I have my hair down, to my great surprise, I get attention :shock: although I'm no longer in the "eye catching" age. I usually wear my hair up so it was a total surprise for me when one day I had it open and no less than three men complimented me on it.

I teach, so usually my hair is up. Once my hairstick fell out while I was lecturing. Afterwards two female students came to me and told me that it looked really nice ;-) But I try to contain my hair well, no accidents.

I like the possibilities that long hair gives.

Oh, and my husband thinks that my buns look totally HOT :-D

[Medievalmaniac]

I rarely get compliments one way or the other - I think most of the people in my life know who I am and what I look like and I rarely go out, so I'm not used to compliments...it happens once in a while, though, and I am usually very pleased, like a small child, when it does! ;op

[Rigani]

I second that, simone_rodrigue! :agree:

I noticed that people stop listening to me when my hair is moving and framing my face, or some strains are floating in the wind. Some people even stop looking into my eyes! :bigeyes:

In this situations I take my hair and put it together to an improvisational bun and pause for a second until my the mentioned person comes to his/her senses again.

It's annoying... I mean, they are talking to me, not to my hair! :angry:

[ale]

I wear a bun all of the time, and people mostly know me with a bun; they don't really know how long it is, so when I let it down I always get reactions like "Wow, I didn't know your hair was THAT long!". And I love it, of course.
BTW, it's classic length now.

[swanns]

Well I definitely feel very self-conscious with my hair down, I feel like people are staring at it and thinking I'm just trying to get everyone's attention... I'm a bit paranoid about it really. Which is why I basically never wear my hair down, except for the occasional braid.

And when the rare moment comes when I really want to get everyone's attention it's very easy because no one is used to seeing it down!

[bjt]

I get a whole lot more attention from people when my hair is down... doesn't bother me at all, its kinda nice! I usually wear my hair up or in a braid at work just because it keeps it out of the way, but I like to be outside with it down and get some nice compliments.
No one ever mentions my hair when its up in a bun, regardless of what hairtoy I have in it!

[georgia_peach]

You're not imagining it. I wear my hair up most of the time, when I am in public, because I don't like the extra attention. A nice staid bun makes me practically invisible :) I've noticed if I go for something complicated and braided, women (especially older women) notice and compliment, but not men. I enjoy that.

When my hair was long enough to wear up, I had the same experience as you and also preferred keeping it up and being "invisible".

[friskybiznus]

Hubby complimented me on a braided bun I did recently, so that was cool. I'm with everyone else, though, a bun gets me no attention (although my cool hairstick got a few compliments). When I do wear my hair half up or all the way down, I get the, "Wow, you hair is soooo loooong" thing from people (and a lot of people want to touch it...LOL!)

[QueenAnne'sLace]

I completely agree with you here. I like the feeling of interacting with people (especially men) without having to worry about being oggled. It just doesn't feel respectful.

[Botticelli Gold]

Yep, I definitely get more attention with it down. But i'm not sure whether it's the length or just that there is so flippin' much of it lol!
Some people who only really ever see or do plain buns will comment on the different buns I do though too.

[viking_quest]

I get the same reactions with my hair up and down, nothing. The only person to ever comment on my hair said that wow, it's so long. That said when I'm by myself in public, I bun my hair to make sure I don't get noticed.

[Tangles]

People seem to like my hair down, in a high, messy bun or perhaps in a French braid. I wear a cinnabun on days when I'm in a really no-nonsense mood. I look fine in them, but certainly not my best.

[Thinthondiel]

I've never really understood why some people try to avoid getting noticed in public... But I guess that's because I'm a bit eccentric at times, so I'm used to getting looks. I think it's rather fun to see the reactions I get from people, actually. That being said, I haven't gotten any reactions because of my hair, either up or down. It's not long enough to get any reactions, I think... I've seen lots of people around here with BSL to mid-back length.

[Opal25]

Definitely less attention when bunned for me, so.... :shrug:

But if I were to wear my hair down or straightened, I get stares & come hither looks (lol)..............go fig.

I love my buns though, so buns it is for me a majority of the time. :grnbiggri: :bounce:

[twolunarspring]

I find the dichotomy between being found sexually attractive and being taken seriously really interesting and upsettingly true. It's one of the reasons I wear my hair up a lot, espeically to school and work. The minute people start looking at you through a framework of "I'd do her" or "is she more doable than me?", your opinion is often taken far less seriously. And frankly, my boobs are already doing that job for me, even though I'm not svelte and model gorgeous (what I also call "paradigm hot"), so putting my hair up helps to minimize that.

A truck full of firefighters? I don't know them, they drive by, they should influence my life not at all ... BUT they interject themselves into my life for a *brief instance* for the sole purpose of judging me? GEE, THANKS. I get a fair amount of attention whether my hair is up or down, so I'm not just being bitter here. I hate that society viewing women first as object of visual pleasure currently works for me, and I'll hate it when it works against me. And it invariable does work against 98% of women, because we all age and not many of us look like Sophia Loren are we do so.

I long to live in a society where women are not seen first and *MAYBE* heard later, where a woman's body is not public domain to peruse at will, judge, place value on (value that translates to the value of the person herself), and comment on out loud.


Well said! :applause

[Quixii]

People definitely notice me more when my hair is down as opposed to up. :shrug:

[Elphie]

The only time I get noticed when I'm wearing a bun is when I pull the sticks out and it doesn't move (which it does almost all the time) and they watch to see how long it will take before it becomes undone. Defying gravity, indeed!

[Tangles]

Thinthondiel--I agree, attention isn't a bad thing by default. Some people get creepy attention for long hair, though, or may live in rough areas where looking attractive gets only the wrong kind of attention. Fortunately, I've never been in a situation where I felt I had to dress down to feel safe, though I won't wear certain types of clothing, if alone at night.

[Flynn]

I get more looks, more comments and more compliments on the days I wear my hair sleeked back and either bunned or (rarely) pony-tailed quite high. I do always wear my hair out of my face, but that sort of back-and-upward look makes me look quite different. A little exotic.

Supposedly, though, for most young lasses the loose, long, and rough-and-tousled look is considered "sexier" (someone posted about a study on it here not so long ago...)

But what difference does that make? Do you like wearing your hair bunned? Do you enjoy that it is out of your way, and that you are protecting your hair? Do you really want blokes devouring your looks with their greedy eyes?




Re: "the dichotomy between being found sexually attractive and being taken seriously"

That's often enough a dichotomy falsified the instant you open your mouth. I'm a science student, and have certainly encountered this sort of initial prejudice against "pretty girls", but as soon as you start talking, it all falls away.

[Thinthondiel]

Thinthondiel--I agree, attention isn't a bad thing by default. Some people get creepy attention for long hair, though, or may live in rough areas where looking attractive gets only the wrong kind of attention. Fortunately, I've never been in a situation where I felt I had to dress down to feel safe, though I won't wear certain types of clothing, if alone at night.

Yeah, I guess so. Most Norwegians tend not to talk to strangers unless it's necessary, so the most I'll get if I'm dressed up is appreciative looks from guys (although I once caught a guy photographing me - not sure if he was Norwegian though, he looked like a tourist), whereas in Southampton, England, lots of Eastern European and a few African guys would leer at me and/or come up and talk to me, and guys in cars would honk or yell things at me. Also, in Las Vegas, lots of guys honked at me and my friends, and some guys in the streets also shouted things at us.

I don't mind it when guys look at me... hey, I look at guys, so why shouldn't they be allowed to look? And I don't mind it so much if they come up and talk to me (as long as there are lots of people around us) either. But I don't like the shouting. That's just disrespectful. I'm not too fond of the honking either, although I guess maybe they just think it's a fun, harmless way of letting women know they think they're attractive? I don't know. It does get annoying, though.

[Tangles]

I don't mind it when guys look at me... hey, I look at guys, so why shouldn't they be allowed to look?

Agreed. There's a polite or flattering way of doing it.

[rhubarbarin]

I think there are few people who mind a second look from someone else.

Staring and following a woman is another matter, as are shouting things (I don't care much if they are nasty or nice) and honking your car horn. Way over my personal line. Around here the sidewalks are right on the street, and some jerks like to lay on the horn just when they are passing you to see you jump. Ooh, if only there was a way for me to give them a flat tire right after..

So when I say I try to avoid attention, I'm just trying to avoid the wrong kind of people. The jerks are always the ones I notice, though, plenty of them around here.

I'm too much in my own world to see a nice polite person subtlely checking me out. ;)

[Flynn]

I think there are few people who mind a second look from someone else.

Staring and following a woman is another matter, as are shouting things (I don't care much if they are nasty or nice) and honking your car horn. Way over my personal line. Around here the sidewalks are right on the street, and some jerks like to lay on the horn just when they are passing you to see you jump. Ooh, if only there was a way for me to give them a flat tire right after..

So when I say I try to avoid attention, I'm just trying to avoid the wrong kind of people. The jerks are always the ones I notice, though, plenty of them around here.

I'm too much in my own world to see a nice polite person subtlely checking me out. ;)

Saw a great one: a pretty but obviously very tough punk girl got a drive by shout... but they were moving too slow, started too soon, and came too close. She kicked their passenger door in. >_o

I was absolutely amazed, and could only think "I gotta learn how to do that!"

[Runzel]

Saw a great one: a pretty but obviously very tough punk girl got a drive by shout... but they were moving too slow, started too soon, and came too close. She kicked their passenger door in. >_o

I was absolutely amazed, and could only think "I gotta learn how to do that!"

That's great!!! :lol:

[bigevilgrape]

My grandma always says my bun makes me look old. (but she also thinks I need to have chin length hair too)

People are deffinitly attracted to the length of my hair when its down. I go camping with groups of friends to go rock climbing. These people generally have never seen my hair down, and when they catch me brushing it out and putting it back up there is a definite fascination.

The only time I get interest in a bun is when people realize I put it up without using any ties or bobby pins.

[Naters]

I've actually met quite a few men who like it when women pull their hair up. They would always tell me that seeing a girls face is beautiful and they shouldnt hide behind their hair.I remember the movie the devils advocate when al pacino tells charlize theron that the most beautiful part of a women is her shoulders and neck, so hey if pacino likes it.. :)

[sweetestday]

I was reading through here, trying to think of any times my hair has gotten attention from strangers. I can only think of about three in the past few years, and two of the times it was old guys. Once my hair was in a bun, and the guy seemed amazed, and asked how long it was when it's down. The other time was a guy behind me in a line when I was wearing a braid and a newsboy hat. He said, "Nice braid!" :)
The lastest one I think was an old lady who also complimented me on my braid.
I never got much attention from young guys, except one brave fellow who said I looked angelic. Most guys were intimidated by my personality, I think. At least that's what my husband tells me... he said he was scared of me. :D

[darkwaves]

I don't think I'm invisible with my hair up -- but I am certainly taken more seriously at work!

I've actually tried going to meetings with hair loose, vs my hair in a bun -- specifically to note reactions, i.e., how attentive people were to what I had to say.

For me? I get more looks with loose hair, but updos seem to turn off the look-but-can't-listen switch in my male co-workers heads... and seem to make a few of my female co-workers more cooperative and attentive, too. The result? They actually focus on my contributions and suggestions.

So for work = updos, 90% of the time. I am not there for attention to my appearance, but rather, respect for my ideas and insight -- and cooperation, so that we can get the job done.

At home? Well, it varies. Housework = up; an evening relaxing, or out = down and loose. (For what it's worth, my DH prefers it contained -- and would love it short!!! -- so no bonus romance points for flowing hair... but I know other people notice and react when it's down. And I like the feel of it, loose and flowing... I'm growing for ME, so my sensory pleasure matters!)

[freecelt]

I'd definitely have to agree with more attention with hair down, but I also think I get more when I wear a skirt (though the attention is different ;) ). I have gotten compliments on twisty buns/up-dos, but they've always been from women. I get "Oh, your hair is long." :P how original :D

[Natalia]

Oh yes! I think its more my age combined with the bun than the bun itself but yeah i either dissapear or get negative type attention for buns. But hey they are easy and protective so i'll keep doing them. Even with the cool ones like the KL knot or infinity no luck people just see me as the weirdo half "amish" (closest thing they can compare me too) lady. A girl a knew when i was about 14 once told me that if i kept wearing my hair in buns people would start thinking of me as the excentric cat lady who rides her bike in a rain coat... which sort of meant they already do so cut it out having long hair is bad enough lol. I figure i love cats so i dont mind and i dont really bike ride anyway so they must have quite the imagination! Needless to say i havent quit growing my hair or wearing buns. If they want to call me exentric then i say they are a better judge of character than most :).

[janiejones]

I think updos can look very attractive because they show off the face and neck more, but for some reason there is that nagging feeling that loose hair is more sultry or naturally beautiful or something. I've also noticed on days I don't really feel like dressing nicely, I'll put my hair in a quick bun with my sweatpants, so maybe we connect not feeling dressy or nice with updos?

[adiapalic]

Hmm, it sort of makes sense that you would be getting less attention from men. Putting hair back into a bun is often what you see in professional settings, and hair let down is common in much more casual and laid back settings. Maybe they see a woman with her hair up as "this woman means all business". Perhaps the little bit of connotation and symbolism built around hairstyles still lingers in modern western society? The sort of "let your hair down" effect.

In art, long hair that is let down usually symbolizes femininity, eroticism and sexuality. On occasion it symbolizes feminine strength and sometimes even prowess. Who knows?

[Thinthondiel]

In art, long hair that is let down usually symbolizes femininity, eroticism and sexuality.

I think maybe this is why I personally think loose hair looks better than updos. I find loose hair a lot more feminine and... well, sensual, I guess. I don't think of it as hiding my face and my neck when I have my hair down - I think of it as not hiding my hair! :)

[Debra83]

Ha! I just posted this in another thread about what others think about my hair getting longer....I wore it down the other day, bangs (which are growing right now) to one side, and the cab driver I've had pretty regularly said to me that I look good with my hair down! It made my day! Another regular cab driver complimented me awhile back as well. (Yes, I know, I take too many cabs, but I don't drive!!!).

[prittykitty]

I don't like to wear my hair in a bun at all. When I put it up not only did I look much older than my age but my head felt cold and I looked as though I had very short hair. I prefer to wear my hair down and free to flow as it grows, although it is only a little past my shoulders for now because I just started growing it.

I have never understood why someone with very long, beautiful hair would want to wear it all bunned up. If my hair was very long again as it was when I was a child I would never wear it up at all. The most I would do is maybe wear it in a ponytail or a possible braid but only if I was doing something that I needed to keep it out of the way. Other than that you would never catch me wearing a bun on my head. Why hide very beautiful long hair in a very tight, short looking bun. I use to work with a woman who had very long curly hair, yet she use to put it up in a bun most of the time. When she had it down she looked very pretty but when she had her hair up in a bun, it showed too much of her long forehead and made her look bald from far away. Some women who are a little older and are starting to get excess skin under their chin, can look very unattractive in a bun because you will see it easier than if the hair is down and around the neck. Same with women who have big ears. Buns can really show off ears and unless you are one of those women who has small, attractive ears with cute earrings, a bun will not be flattering. I have seen pictures of women from back in the Victorian days when they wore their hair up but they had styles and wore huge hats that covered flaws and their dresses were gorgeous. Today's buns are not flattering like they once were. My husband does not like my hair in a bun anyway. He says it looks much better down.

This is just my idea on buns and how I feel about them.

[PhillyGirl1978@]

I have the same experience as you, fluffybunny.
I get more attenton with hair down, and when hair is up people barely notice me.
Sometimes I like it... or plan on liking it, then suddenly notice the most gorgeous human beeing ever... And it's not like you can just be like "oh I suddenly decided to wear my hair down" without beeing too obvious that you're trying to get the attention either.

I have had that happen. I look more business like with it up so it is usually down, but if I forget and leave it up (like after lunch or something) and I'm walking and see a hottie and wanna show off....I just kinda pretend like my hair stick is bothering me or falling out or something. Just so I have a excuse to take it out.

Yes...I am shameless!!lol

[PhillyGirl1978@]

I don't like to wear my hair in a bun at all. When I put it up not only did I look much older than my age but my head felt cold and I looked as though I had very short hair. I prefer to wear my hair down and free to flow as it grows, although it is only a little past my shoulders for now because I just started growing it.

I have never understood why someone with very long, beautiful hair would want to wear it all bunned up. If my hair was very long again as it was when I was a child I would never wear it up at all. The most I would do is maybe wear it in a ponytail or a possible braid but only if I was doing something that I needed to keep it out of the way. Other than that you would never catch me wearing a bun on my head. Why hide very beautiful long hair in a very tight, short looking bun. I use to work with a woman who had very long curly hair, yet she use to put it up in a bun most of the time. When she had it down she looked very pretty but when she had her hair up in a bun, it showed too much of her long forehead and made her look bald from far away. Some women who are a little older and are starting to get excess skin under their chin, can look very unattractive in a bun because you will see it easier than if the hair is down and around the neck. Same with women who have big ears. Buns can really show off ears and unless you are one of those women who has small, attractive ears with cute earrings, a bun will not be flattering. I have seen pictures of women from back in the Victorian days when they wore their hair up but they had styles and wore huge hats that covered flaws and their dresses were gorgeous. Today's buns are not flattering like they once were. My husband does not like my hair in a bun anyway. He says it looks much better down.

This is just my idea on buns and how I feel about them.

I completely understand, I used to feel that way too. For me the bun is a good way to take care of hair that isn't behaving properly, or let's say it's hot and sticking to me..bun! It protects from damage and tangles and depending on what I am doing sometimes it's needed. I always put it up when I eat or I'll end up with food in it, taking out the trash...other things where hair can get in the way.

[mira-chan]

*snip*
I have never understood why someone with very long, beautiful hair would want to wear it all bunned up. If my hair was very long again as it was when I was a child I would never wear it up at all. The most I would do is maybe wear it in a ponytail or a possible braid but only if I was doing something that I needed to keep it out of the way. Other than that you would never catch me wearing a bun on my head. Why hide very beautiful long hair in a very tight, short looking bun. I use to work with a woman who had very long curly hair, yet she use to put it up in a bun most of the time. When she had it down she looked very pretty but when she had her hair up in a bun, it showed too much of her long forehead and made her look bald from far away. Some women who are a little older and are starting to get excess skin under their chin, can look very unattractive in a bun because you will see it easier than if the hair is down and around the neck. Same with women who have big ears. Buns can really show off ears and unless you are one of those women who has small, attractive ears with cute earrings, a bun will not be flattering. I have seen pictures of women from back in the Victorian days when they wore their hair up but they had styles and wore huge hats that covered flaws and their dresses were gorgeous. Today's buns are not flattering like they once were. My husband does not like my hair in a bun anyway. He says it looks much better down.

This is just my idea on buns and how I feel about them.
Just pointing out some reasons why people may opt for wearing it up instead. Just to help understand the perspective of the other side. :flower:

There is a safety reason. Once hair reaches sitting on length, it's easier for it to get caught in things, including car, bus and subway doors. Also in an office down is fine probably, but here law requires hair be tied back in certain work settings (I work in a lab), this includes any hair long enough to ponytail. Even a braid I sit on. At work if a turn too fast close to a bunsen burner, the hair could get caught in the flame unless it's completely contained.

For many longer hair tangles more too so it wastes time in detagling when you leave it down. Even my own not very tangly hair gets on my nerves from getting into everything if it's down. It starts to want to greet and eat things it's not supposed to. :silly: Plus I'm used to it being up as school required that it be braided when I was young, as for both school and family then (in Russia) loose longer hair equaled unkempt and messy hair.

There's the creepy spectators too. I have been in neighborhoods where I intentionally dressed "invisible" especially if I was alone.

[MsBubbles]

I am invisible and butt-ugly with my hair up. At all. Period. Any updo. I put my hair up every other day as a charitable gesture towards my hair so that I don't wash the life out of it every day. I get attention with it down. I get ignored with it up!

I think soft, pretty features with flawless skin can pull off a bun (i.e. young Brigitte Bardot, Denise Richards, Angelina...other beautiful freaks of nature). I can't because I have a pointy nose, weak jawline, sticky out ears and frown marks :D.

[Babyfine]

Msbubbles, I'm sure you're not butt-ugly with a bun, LOL!!

But don't look good with pulled back hair(or short hair). My dh doesn't like my updos but I wear them about 75% of the time to protect my fine fragile hair as it grows longer.
I was inspired by Madelines updo's on her website when I first started growing my hair.
But Madeline has that beautiful flawless skin and pretty features, both of which I do not have.
I look like-yeech- with my hair pulled straight back on up in a teeny bun which is all my BSL hair will manage.
(Sock buns help)
my jawline at 53 is getting wobbly and I have a round face and not so nice skin(acne scars)

I try to vary my updos for a softer look, thinking of cutting in a fringe(bangs), even though it will detract from the volume of the rest of my hair which I don't want.

[fluffybunny]

Hi,
OP popping in here. Some really interesting perspectives, keep 'em coming. I envy the woman whose husband thinks her buns are HOT :)

I'm really enjoying wearing the buns and up-dos regardless of reactions. I like that my hair is neat, I don't drop hair all over the place, I feel more pulled-together, and I can make it look more consistent from day to day. With wavy hair and a refusal to blow-dry and style, I'm kind of at the mercy of what it wants to do every day. With up-do's, I know how they're going to look.

I've been compensating for the lack of 'sexiness' signifier of loose hair by using more makeup and wearing cuter shoes :) Yesterday a really young cute guy with crazy hair chatted me up at the coffee shop, so I'm obviously not entirely invisible. I'm sure I reminded him of his favorite auntie or something, but it was still nice.

[Lady Godiva]

I don't like to wear my hair in a bun at all. When I put it up not only did I look much older than my age but my head felt cold and I looked as though I had very short hair. I prefer to wear my hair down and free to flow as it grows, although it is only a little past my shoulders for now because I just started growing it.

I have never understood why someone with very long, beautiful hair would want to wear it all bunned up. If my hair was very long again as it was when I was a child I would never wear it up at all. The most I would do is maybe wear it in a ponytail or a possible braid but only if I was doing something that I needed to keep it out of the way. Other than that you would never catch me wearing a bun on my head. Why hide very beautiful long hair in a very tight, short looking bun. I use to work with a woman who had very long curly hair, yet she use to put it up in a bun most of the time. When she had it down she looked very pretty but when she had her hair up in a bun, it showed too much of her long forehead and made her look bald from far away. Some women who are a little older and are starting to get excess skin under their chin, can look very unattractive in a bun because you will see it easier than if the hair is down and around the neck. Same with women who have big ears. Buns can really show off ears and unless you are one of those women who has small, attractive ears with cute earrings, a bun will not be flattering. I have seen pictures of women from back in the Victorian days when they wore their hair up but they had styles and wore huge hats that covered flaws and their dresses were gorgeous. Today's buns are not flattering like they once were. My husband does not like my hair in a bun anyway. He says it looks much better down.

This is just my idea on buns and how I feel about them.
Your comments are common among those with shorter lengths, and I used to share your opinions. However, things changed as my hair grew longer, and today, my perspective is drastically different.

The main reason for this is not due only and specifically to my hair's length, however, but due to what my hair has come to mean to me while my hair grew this long. The length affects this, in very practical terms, as others have mentioned, noting the tangles and damage that would occur if long hair gets left down all the time or even often. That's all very practical, but more important to me is how *I* feel about my hair.

I notice in your post, you write about looking "older," "beautiful" hair, "pretty," "long forehead," "unattractive" "excess skin," "big ears," "little ears," "attractive ears," "flaws," and "flattering."

All of these convey value judgments about people's appearances or motives or ages, all of which are subjective, and many of which are pejorative. Getting back to my main point, none of these ideas are the basis for my own decisions for wearing my hair styled as I want, and the bottom line is that what other people think or project onto me or others doesn't matter at all. In a nutshell, I wear my hair however I want because *I* want to, and further, I don't need to explain why I do it. I might like to explain, as others have done (especially the practical reasons), but no one needs to justify his or her styling preferences or options to anyone else, especially when judgments are levied on them.

For instance, there's no real difference between saying that older women's double-chins should not be visible, so they should wear their hair down to cover them, than saying long hair of any kind is a bad choice, which commonly is said in our short-hair-loving western culture. Both are admonitions that make people feel bad about their appearances so they'll conform to other people's standards rather than their own. There is nothing wrong about aging or looking older or having excess flesh under the chin that ever should suggest that anyone should have to cover it up just so other people will like how they look. Or for having a long forehead that somehow necessitates hiding it. Or big ears that should be hidden. Why?

The converse idea is that it's acceptable to wear certain styles only when certain "acceptable" features exist, making it OK to show them off. Says who? Why must everyone adjust who they naturally are just so others will find them visually pleasing? Who are these others who are more important where our looks are concerned that people should change who they are to fit in? Whose standards should matter, and why is it presumed that we all concern ourselves with looking as attractive as possible all the time to others? Some people don't grow their hair long for attractiveness purposes at all.

I do not mean to pick on you, but this is a subject close to my heart and to others here who have felt the lifelong pressure to conform because we supposedly lack some idealized feature of one kind or another. There is nothing in society worth my compromising myself by hiding my (non-existent) flaws so I can fit in better. That's a society that I don't want to be a part of because it wants me to be dishonest and subjugate myself to public opinion over my own.
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To reply to the OP, my updos receive a surprising amount of attention, but I think this happens mainly because they're unusually big. Usually, also, these compliments come from women. If my hair is down, the comments usually aren't so much compliments as they are expressions of shock.

[georgia_peach]

Lady Godiva, thank you. I needed to hear that.

[Green Elf]

My hair is bunned most of the times (I work/study in a hospital), and the weather is very humid here and my hair is wavy, so it gets soooo messy!
I receive compliments for the waves and the lenght when it's loose (even if they're only waist lenght), but I receive compliments (from men too) even when it's up because my bun is big and for hair toys :)
But I love buns, I think they suit my face and I love the contrast between buns and a rock-dandy- clothes style

[heidihug]

Nicely said, Lady Godiva.

I was quite judgemental about appearance when I was younger. Now, I have the wisdom that came, for me, with age and experience. I think it's wonderful when people wear their hair the way they are comfortable with it. If I see someone who has nice hair, or a nice updo, no matter the length, I usually make an effort to compliment them.

I must wear my hair up and bunned, or, at the least, in a braid, every day at work. If I didn't I would be a prisoner of my hair all day - trying to keep it from getting caught in my desk chair, detangling and pushing it out of my face. And, I work in a professional setting in which a neat and tidy appearance is expected. My "down" hair is definitely NOT neat and tidy! It's floating and wispy and tangles when I so much as move a muscle.

So, I save my "down" hair for those special times - perhaps once a year for a party - when I am willing to put up with the high maintenance my length requires. Other people have asked me why I bother to keep long hair when I never wear it down, and my answer is that I love updos, the more intricate the better. I actually think I look better with hair down, around my face, but that's not the path I've chosen for my appearance, so I've made peace with not being able to wear it like that. If someone else does not like it, I simply don't care.

[linda g]

Wow @ Lady Godiva! I may have to frame that post and read it every day!

[sneakybea]

I'll admit, if I am going on a date, or maybe also if I were going to a party or club I might be likely to meet someone, I'll probably wear my hair down, though usually pulled back in some way. The rest of the time, I usually wear it up in a cinnamon or figure eight bun (need to work a bit on varying the style more---I know a lot of styles and should show them off). Updos are super fast, they keep my hair from getting caught under my purse strap, or just tangling, which it does a lot. I cut bangs so my updos wouldn't be too severe or unflattering, and I like how having my hair up shows off my earrings, many of which I made myself. Even if my updos aren't as flattering, the convenience is worth it to me.

Besides which, I always seem to get compliments and attention when I least expect them, like when my hair is soaking wet!
Edited to add: I am also a compulsive fidgeter and hair twirl-er, so if I'm going to be speaking in public, it's good to have it out of the way!

[Heidi_234]

I am invisible and butt-ugly with my hair up. At all. Period. Any updo. I put my hair up every other day as a charitable gesture towards my hair so that I don't wash the life out of it every day. I get attention with it down. I get ignored with it up!

Exactly how I feel. Butt-Ugly. :o

Just yesterday I left my hair down after swimming so it would dry, and I got hit on by somebody who seen me mainly wearing buns. He even commented on my hair and said I should wear it down. I get 0 comments on my hair when I wear it bunned, and get few if I braid it (taught a girl from work to to do herringbone braid :D), and get actual compliments if suddenly I decide to wear it down.

I do think buns are not flattering unless you've got a face that can pull off anything. But I still wear them because I don't feel like I have to be the prettiest at work, and it's comfortable and keeps my mind off my hair. Like the popular LHC retort says - I'm not here to decorate anybody's world. :cool:

[Elvi]

I wear my hair down only for few really informal occasions as that is a "girlish" style or at home, even if I get compliments for the long hair. At work I need to have a tidy not so conspicuous hair like a bun. For parties I like to make more decorative buns, and with them I can get compliments, too. :sun:

[alligatorbaby23]

I guess I'm being a bit blunt here, but I do think many people find loose hair attractive, while they think of buns as something that old women wear. I myself find loose hair a lot more attractive than buns, although I find it very practical to wear my hair in a bun now and then. :shrug:

I haven't read everyone elses replies but Thinthondiel stated basically what I was thinking. People are attracted to beautiful long hair. It's as simple as that. There really is no alternate reason - it signifies fertility and health. To us LHCers it also signifies care and patience.

I also believe that most of us long hairs would love to wear our hair down and enjoy our flowing locks. That is, if it wasn't so dangerous and damaging.

But I do love a good bun. Simple plain cinnamon & beebutts just don't do anything for me, visually. An interesting bun, such as Hypnotica's styles (and her colour!!) make things more appealing. Or tasteful hair toys! I am saving up for a Ficcare and something from Nightblooming currently.

With all that said, I really reserve wearing my hair down for special occasions. Never mind that said special occasions are currently twice a week. I have crush on a classmate. Yep, I am a long haired seductress*

mao

* umm the suffix on seductress is +tress! I kinda made that up though... :D

[prittykitty]

Thank you to everyone who gave me information from the other side (very long hair side). Since I don't have hair that long yet, it is hard for me to know what it is like from that point of view.

[prittykitty]

I hope nobody else took the first of what I wrote in a bad way. It truly was not meant to be.

[prittykitty]

Your comments are common among those with shorter lengths, and I used to share your opinions. However, things changed as my hair grew longer, and today, my perspective is drastically different.

The main reason for this is not due only and specifically to my hair's length, however, but due to what my hair has come to mean to me while my hair grew this long. The length affects this, in very practical terms, as others have mentioned, noting the tangles and damage that would occur if long hair gets left down all the time or even often. That's all very practical, but more important to me is how *I* feel about my hair.

I notice in your post, you write about looking "older," "beautiful" hair, "pretty," "long forehead," "unattractive" "excess skin," "big ears," "little ears," "attractive ears," "flaws," and "flattering."

All of these convey value judgments about people's appearances or motives or ages, all of which are subjective, and many of which are pejorative. Getting back to my main point, none of these ideas are the basis for my own decisions for wearing my hair styled as I want, and the bottom line is that what other people think or project onto me or others doesn't matter at all. In a nutshell, I wear my hair however I want because *I* want to, and further, I don't need to explain why I do it. I might like to explain, as others have done (especially the practical reasons), but no one needs to justify his or her styling preferences or options to anyone else, especially when judgments are levied on them.

For instance, there's no real difference between saying that older women's double-chins should not be visible, so they should wear their hair down to cover them, than saying long hair of any kind is a bad choice, which commonly is said in our short-hair-loving western culture. Both are admonitions that make people feel bad about their appearances so they'll conform to other people's standards rather than their own. There is nothing wrong about aging or looking older or having excess flesh under the chin that ever should suggest that anyone should have to cover it up just so other people will like how they look. Or for having a long forehead that somehow necessitates hiding it. Or big ears that should be hidden. Why?

The converse idea is that it's acceptable to wear certain styles only when certain "acceptable" features exist, making it OK to show them off. Says who? Why must everyone adjust who they naturally are just so others will find them visually pleasing? Who are these others who are more important where our looks are concerned that people should change who they are to fit in? Whose standards should matter, and why is it presumed that we all concern ourselves with looking as attractive as possible all the time to others? Some people don't grow their hair long for attractiveness purposes at all.

I do not mean to pick on you, but this is a subject close to my heart and to others here who have felt the lifelong pressure to conform because we supposedly lack some idealized feature of one kind or another. There is nothing in society worth my compromising myself by hiding my (non-existent) flaws so I can fit in better. That's a society that I don't want to be a part of because it wants me to be dishonest and subjugate myself to public opinion over my own.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

To reply to the OP, my updos receive a surprising amount of attention, but I think this happens mainly because they're unusually big. Usually, also, these compliments come from women. If my hair is down, the comments usually aren't so much compliments as they are expressions of shock.
I was not trying to be judgmental. I am sorry you took it that way. I was thinking that most women who are older feel that way. I am in my 40's and starting to get that chin thing and also I wish I had different ears. I was basically talking about what I go through with my hair up and I am sure there are several older women in this world that feel the same. It's easier for a young woman with a nice fresh pretty face to wear their hair pulled back or up.

Some women like to look good in public and I am one of them, not to impress others but that I feel good about myself this way.

Of course how you wear your hair is your own choice and you don't have to answer to anyone. I didn't ask for an answer. I just gave an answer as to why I don't wear mine up and why I probably never will. As you can see at the end of what I wrote, it clearly says that this is just my own opinion.

I know your probably not picking on me but you sound pretty upset.

[prittykitty]

Just pointing out some reasons why people may opt for wearing it up instead. Just to help understand the perspective of the other side. :flower:

There is a safety reason. Once hair reaches sitting on length, it's easier for it to get caught in things, including car, bus and subway doors. Also in an office down is fine probably, but here law requires hair be tied back in certain work settings (I work in a lab), this includes any hair long enough to ponytail. Even a braid I sit on. At work if a turn too fast close to a bunsen burner, the hair could get caught in the flame unless it's completely contained.

For many longer hair tangles more too so it wastes time in detagling when you leave it down. Even my own not very tangly hair gets on my nerves from getting into everything if it's down. It starts to want to greet and eat things it's not supposed to. :silly: Plus I'm used to it being up as school required that it be braided when I was young, as for both school and family then (in Russia) loose longer hair equaled unkempt and messy hair.

There's the creepy spectators too. I have been in neighborhoods where I intentionally dressed "invisible" especially if I was alone.
Thank you for telling me this. Maybe when my hair is longer I may suddenly decide to put it up for these reasons. You have very beautiful hair.

[georgia_peach]

I hope nobody else took anything I wrote in a bad way.

Hi PrittyKitty,

I was happy to see you responded again. Even though I strive to have an attitude that is more like Lady Godiva's, I understand much of what you said. You were just expressing your opinion, and I'm sure most folks respect that.

[twolunarspring]

There is a safety reason. Once hair reaches sitting on length, it's easier for it to get caught in things, including car, bus and subway doors. Also in an office down is fine probably, but here law requires hair be tied back in certain work settings (I work in a lab), this includes any hair long enough to ponytail. Even a braid I sit on. At work if a turn too fast close to a bunsen burner, the hair could get caught in the flame unless it's completely contained.



Also, if you spend a lot of time with children, you really want to do anything you can to minimise the rick of headlice!

[twolunarspring]

Some women who are a little older and are starting to get excess skin under their chin, can look very unattractive in a bun because you will see it easier than if the hair is down and around the neck.

Lol, well I am a very young woman with a slight double chin, and quite a long forehead, and I think I look lovely in a bun ;) and if I didn't... so what? I can't imagine how unhappy I would be, and how little time I would have, if every decision I ever made was weighed up with "oooh, but what if people don't think I'm pretty?"

ETS: prittykitty, other people are just responding to your opinion with their own :)

[Centifolia]

I just met LHC this summer's holidays and the next week my classes will begin again - although I already went to the presentation (with a half-up) and to a study visit (wearing a french braid). It's my first LHC school's year!

Until now, I usually wear my hair up, since I am most time at home. But now I'm considering wearing it down some days, it's the way I fell more confident, although always with a hairstick in my bag, so I can put it up in some classes (art ones), and maybe when I feel my chair is damaging it. As soon as I arrive home, I will bun it. In the rest of the days I will use it braided or bunned with some hairs loose for a more romantic/soft look.

Actually I really love how I look with a french braid, I think it flatters my face. But with a bun it rarely happens. Some days ago I went out with some friends with my hair bunned - side hair twisted and some strands behind my left ear loose - and all they said that I was really beautiful and that I looked like a princess. lol The trick to me seems to be not to leave it flat in my head and to leave some strands loose, since I don't have a perfect face.

[Loreley]

I feel the same. Many people say somebody has very long hair to hide something. It's true in my case. I feel a bit naked with my hair up. Don't like it. And I miss the 'oh my god, look at her hair' comments, too. :p

[Babyfine]

Lady Godiva- excellent post!

Prittykitty- I used to feel as you did years ago, as well! But now
I find I must wear my hair up a lot now to prevent tangles(this happens when my hair gets below shoulders or armpit)
My hair is fine and fragile and tangles easily- but I do wear it down at least some of the time because dh likes it that way- and I do too. I do think I look better with hair around my face and not pulled back- but oh well.

Also, I live in a windy climate- not long hair friendly-or even hair friendly- at all!
I've also found- that even though my hair is hardly long by LHC standards(BSL bottom of BS) I'm already having safety issues- such as bending over the oven, the bathtub using cleaning agents and car doors, ect! Kind of a neat milestone in a way- but finding Its easier to keep hair contained.

These days the old lady look to me is short permed hair.
not a bun- in my mother's childhood(she's 83) all the old ladies wore buns, so that got equated with the old lady look

I think an elegant upsweep on an older woman looks so much better than short permed hair- but that's just me.

[Sheltie_Momma]

I have crush on a classmate. Yep, I am a long haired seductress*

mao

* umm the suffix on seductress is +tress! I kinda made that up though... :D


Hilarious. Love it.

[Yvonne]

You've got to do a quirky bun to get noticed, otherwise I think folks think it's just weird and old-fashioned, like a schoolmarm or spinster. A fashionable twist on a bun is always best and get's noticied in a good way.

[heidihug]

You've got to do a quirky bun to get noticed, otherwise I think folks think it's just weird and old-fashioned, like a schoolmarm or spinster. A fashionable twist on a bun is always best and get's noticied in a good way.

Yvonne, welcome to the LHC. You might want to go back a page and read Lady Godiva's post for another perspective.

[Stevy]

I don't give a toss if people think I'm weird and old fashioned. I am weird and old-fashioned.

Long hair worn down can be beautiful, and if it gives people confidence or makes them feel more themselves, that's absolutely great.

Making assumptions about other people based on whether they wear their hair up or down... is not so great, and neither is making blanket rules about who's allowed to wear their hair in a certain style. We are not the Hairstyle Police here. :)

[silentwanderer]

I get more attention when I wear my hair curly, because where I live you don't see that everyday.
Whenever I wear my hair in buns or updos I get comments like "You look so strict today" or "You look like a school teacher". Well, is that bad thing?
What I noticed at work is that I get more attention when my hair is down ,because people get curious about it, ask about my heritage, touch it etc. Like they've never seen curly hair before...:rolleyes:

[Amoretti]

But why do so many people want to get noticed? I prefer to fly under the radar myself.

[SpinDance]

I'm enjoying reading all the various perspectives. One of the nice things about long hair is that it is easy to have the best of both worlds. Loose to have long and free, and buns or other updos to have it out of the way and safe, or be more 'professional'. I don't usually much care whether people like the way I wear my hair. My DH has never given me an opinion on it when I've asked. I just get one of "those" looks, and told to do what I want. The short version being "It's your hair...." Which 98% of the time I love, and the other 2% I want an actual answer! lol

I love fast buns that don't need more than a stick or fork, mainly because I like to let it loose, finger comb a bit or just relax and shake it out, and then put it back up out of my way again. As a few others have said, up and down all day, most days. It is a very, very busy day that I don't redo my bun a few times during the work day. Evenings at home are another matter. There it's up and down on a whim! I have to admit, I love playing with it.

Whether I look good with my hair in a bun, I'm not sure. In many ways I don't much care. I like having it out of my way. I like the ability to actually have a sleek look, something my bushy mane just wouldn't do before. I love being able to take it down, do it different, or put in a different hair toy to change the look.

The comments from those with shorter hair I can understand. It never really occurred to me how much it would get into everything. Once it's long enough to reach your lower arms, well, things change. First is the "Oh my!!! What is that on my arm!!!" followed quickly by "Oh. Duh. That's me!" This first happened to me while driving a car, so I was a bit surprised. Once it's around waist length I find that it tries to get places you don't want it to go. Like in the sink with your hands while you wash up, or worse places, especially when you lean over. Now consider cooking over an open fire, or working with anything that moves, and safety issues must be considered.

[Gingevere]

Hmmm... it's the other way around for me, but maybe that's just because I only recently started wearing my hair up on a regular basis. My hair hides a lot of my face, so bunning it really changes my appearance. My classmates have also been noticing and commenting on my hairsticks. I think I'm the only person at my school who uses them.

[Aer]

I get more attention from men when my hair is down, but I get a lot of compliments from women when my hair is in a braid or bun.

[peachrose]

It's interesting to read everyone's point of view. I agree that other peoples reactions can depend on whether hair is up or down and I think it really is an individual preference.

For me I like to mainly keep my hair up. I love the mystery and sensuality of wearing it in an updo all day at work, especially since my job is very visual based. I am also quite a private person and I like the fact that for the most part people don't see my hair down. When I get home from work I love taking my hair down- it almost feels like it makes a separation between my work life and personal life.

That being said, I do very occasionally wear my hair down (although ATM I am doing an updo challenge) for work or outings. I do get looks and compliments from people when it's down mostly to do with the texture or thickness since I am only at BSL. When these comments are from co-workers or friends I appreciate it.

I can see it both ways though, I understand how many people like to stand out and be noticed and I do sometimes like to wear it down for that reason. But mostly it's up and protected and something that makes me happy throughout the day knowing that it's my little secret.

[KaasKnot]

I usually have my hair up, either in a bun or a french braid, because it can get in the way. So when I go to school or work and my hair's down, I always get comments on how I should wear my hair down more often. :shrug:

[JamieLeigh]

I've never really paid attention - lately I've been getting just as much attention with my buns as with my hair down, thanks to the awesome hairsticks I got from Alia and a couple others on Etsy. :D I've got d20s, a d12, a white rook, an R2D2, white skulls......It's a geek's paradise. ;)

I do know that some people wear their hair up on purpose to avoid attracting hair attention, and that's awesome to be able to have that option of completely changing your appearance in 10 seconds flat. Take that, Oprah!! :flower:

[Tangles]

But why do so many people want to get noticed? I prefer to fly under the radar myself.

I HIGHLY doubt any of us are growing our hair to get noticed or complimented, but some people are naturally more extroverted in their personal style than others. :flower: For example, just as some don't understand wearing long hair down, I don't understand dying hair blue... it's just personal preferences.

[maria_asa]

I look much better with my hair down around my face but I hardly ever wear it that way. At work it would be highly unpratical and dangerous and even against the rules. (I work with some heavy machinery were tying up the hair is one of the safety regulations.)

I'm rather ugly to begin with and never get compliments so to walk around with my hair down just to maybe get some attention is not going to happen. (I much prefer to be invisible anyway.) Also, even if I do prefer the look off my hair down on myself I don't actually see my face that very often and if other people find it that ugly/disturbing they can just look some other way.

[Kris Dove]

I've definitely noticed a difference! I'm short sighted, and think wearing glasses is like bunning my hair in a way... if I wear contacts and my hair down I do get far more attention! I really like that I can just let down my hair and take my specs off and completely change my appearance. :)

I've noticed a few people commenting that they find a bun unflattering on themselves- I used to think that too, but since I got bangs/a fringe I think it looks a lot "softer".

[prittykitty]

Hi PrittyKitty,

I was happy to see you responded again. Even though I strive to have an attitude that is more like Lady Godiva's, I understand much of what you said. You were just expressing your opinion, and I'm sure most folks respect that.
Thank you for understanding. The best attitude to have is your own instead of striving to be like someone else. It's what gives you your own unique personality that you have.

[JuneBelle]

Your comments are common among those with shorter lengths, and I used to share your opinions. However, things changed as my hair grew longer, and today, my perspective is drastically different.

The main reason for this is not due only and specifically to my hair's length, however, but due to what my hair has come to mean to me while my hair grew this long. The length affects this, in very practical terms, as others have mentioned, noting the tangles and damage that would occur if long hair gets left down all the time or even often. That's all very practical, but more important to me is how *I* feel about my hair.

I notice in your post, you write about looking "older," "beautiful" hair, "pretty," "long forehead," "unattractive" "excess skin," "big ears," "little ears," "attractive ears," "flaws," and "flattering."

All of these convey value judgments about people's appearances or motives or ages, all of which are subjective, and many of which are pejorative. Getting back to my main point, none of these ideas are the basis for my own decisions for wearing my hair styled as I want, and the bottom line is that what other people think or project onto me or others doesn't matter at all. In a nutshell, I wear my hair however I want because *I* want to, and further, I don't need to explain why I do it. I might like to explain, as others have done (especially the practical reasons), but no one needs to justify his or her styling preferences or options to anyone else, especially when judgments are levied on them.

For instance, there's no real difference between saying that older women's double-chins should not be visible, so they should wear their hair down to cover them, than saying long hair of any kind is a bad choice, which commonly is said in our short-hair-loving western culture. Both are admonitions that make people feel bad about their appearances so they'll conform to other people's standards rather than their own. There is nothing wrong about aging or looking older or having excess flesh under the chin that ever should suggest that anyone should have to cover it up just so other people will like how they look. Or for having a long forehead that somehow necessitates hiding it. Or big ears that should be hidden. Why?

The converse idea is that it's acceptable to wear certain styles only when certain "acceptable" features exist, making it OK to show them off. Says who? Why must everyone adjust who they naturally are just so others will find them visually pleasing? Who are these others who are more important where our looks are concerned that people should change who they are to fit in? Whose standards should matter, and why is it presumed that we all concern ourselves with looking as attractive as possible all the time to others? Some people don't grow their hair long for attractiveness purposes at all.

I do not mean to pick on you, but this is a subject close to my heart and to others here who have felt the lifelong pressure to conform because we supposedly lack some idealized feature of one kind or another. There is nothing in society worth my compromising myself by hiding my (non-existent) flaws so I can fit in better. That's a society that I don't want to be a part of because it wants me to be dishonest and subjugate myself to public opinion over my own.
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To reply to the OP, my updos receive a surprising amount of attention, but I think this happens mainly because they're unusually big. Usually, also, these compliments come from women. If my hair is down, the comments usually aren't so much compliments as they are expressions of shock.

.................. <_< >_<
I have long hair (41" down past 3/4 of my rear); and I still don't really understand (except for people who work around machinery and other dangerous places) why someone with hair as long as mine would want it up all the time.
I guess it's my own perspective..... I had wanted long hair since I was little. And now that I have it, I keep it down as much as I possibly can. I love the feeling of the swish, the wind in my hair (even if it does get moderately tangled from it), being able the run my fingers through it, the freedom of it all.....
There was a period of time when I did put it up in a bun a lot around the house when it was just getting this long. But I didn't like it. And I started to get worried about my hairline possibly receding.
So these days, I always keep a hair tie on my arm in case I run into a chore where I need my hair to not fall so freely into such things as dog poo; but I keep my hair down as often as I can. It will occasionally get caught on something; but I just have to stop and carefully pull it off the snare and move on. It really doesn't happen all that often. I really don't notice it getting all that bad. It doesn't even fall into my paint as long as I tuck my front hair behind my ears.

I do want to learn about how to do more updos because, whenever I do put my hair up, it's always for some special occasion where I want to look more classy; and I barely know any hair styles. I don't even know how to french braid.

But I really don't understand why someone would grow their hair out only to keep it up even when they are out (unless they are the kind of person who love gigantic natural buns or something. Meh....my hair is so thing that my simple bun isn't very large.). I guess it has to do with the reason why I wanted to grow my hair out in the first place. :)


To the original post, yes, long hair does get noticed by guys a lot; but a nice looking bun can do wonders, too. One of the few updos that I know how to do is this thing where I pull my hair back into a ponytail and kind of twist it into several loops in one mass on the back of my head secured by pins. Then I littered the do with shiny little combs. (I was going to a fancy fashion show. :D) The looks I got were priceless, especially the look on one particular guy I knew who looked like he was about to have a heart attack. LOL He couldn't say a word and didn't.

[Elfe]

When I wear my hair in a really simple bun, people don't notice it.
But if a have a really cute hairstyle with braids and things like that or loose, they always comment on my hair.

[cuddledumplin]

I wear my hair up for work, and people say they have trouble recognising me with my hair down.

[sana junaid]

i dont like to wear my hair in a updo or bun i think i look old with it :( i got lots of compliments and attention from everyone when my hair down and i loved that special attention :)

[Snowflakey]

Wow, I got somewhat of a different reaction...

When i put my hair in a bun for the first time, people at work actually said hi to me (supposedly, i look very unapproachable with the permanent, involuntary scowl on my face) and engaged in small talk. I think it's because when my hair is down, it covers quite a bit of my face, so I appear much more unapproachable. But as for the attention from men, it seems to make no difference whether I have my hair up or down.