View Full Version : help - what am I doing wrong?

September 15th, 2009, 01:24 PM
hi Everyone, I'm Aasiyah, and I have been a chronic lurker of LHC for about 4 years now. I'm not sure as to whether I have ever posted - not because I am unfriendly but because the forum overwhelms me - there is so much info here and I felt everything had already been said/answered and I had nothing new to contribute.

Since joining LHC and starting my lurking of the new posts I changed quite alot of my haircare routine - but I am still having major problems so I am here to ask for some help and advice.

My hair: My hair looks thick and like it has alot of volume. It is quite frizzy at times and (I never bothered to hair type myself so bear with me) it is similar in texture to Shakira's hair. I am middle eastern and my hair is VERY dry and fairly curly, but i can acheive thick waves if I put it up wet.

My Routine and what I have changed since starting to follow advice on LHC:

- I wash about 2-3 times a week, CO. I do not wet or mist my hair in between washes.
- I use a seamless shower comb, and sleep on a silk pillow
- I no longer own a brush
- I have seriously cut down on heat styling (I do it a few times a year on special occasions - I love the way I look with straight hair) but its very very rare.
- I do prewash oilings, with EVOO, coconut or jojoba. I oil sometimes on wet and or dry hair.
- I try to keep my hair up in a bun while wet (which acheives nice waves instead of crazy curls)
- I am cone free. conditioners I use: Suave coconut, alberto balsam, kissmyface, audrey organics balancing and honeysuckle rose, burts bees, some no name organic stuff i found.
- I clarify once in a while when I feel like I need it with suave shampoo (ussually averageing about once every 1-2 months)
- I sometimes use aloe vera or glycerin to moisten my curls ,but not if i have my bun waves.
- i love wearing my hair down.

My hair seems to have loved going cone free- this i started about 4 years ago and noticed a dramatic difference in softness and managability - I used to be a pantene addict like most curly haired people.

NOW FOR MY PROBLEM: I have spilt ends galore. No matter what I have tried the split ends wont go away and they seem to multiply every time i look at them. I have micro trimmed about 6 times and trimmed for real about twice this summer. I have s&d countless times and nothing is helping. I have tried the catnip thing and noticed no difference.

Please, help me, I am starting to feel extremely hopeless about my hair!:(

September 15th, 2009, 01:28 PM
It sounds like you are doing the right things. Think how much worse the splitting would be if you weren't! My hair likes to split, too; I don't know why.

September 15th, 2009, 01:31 PM
My only question would be to check if your scissors are really and truly sharp (or it might be time for new ones! :) )

If that's not the problem you may just have the ultra-splitty hair that some people (like me) end up with.

September 15th, 2009, 01:32 PM
thanks spidermom but I feel like its never going to grow like this - i keep cutting off all the split ends and it has been at the same length since joining - right between brastrap and waist. will i ever get to waist?!

also , now that ive actually posted something i guess i have hairtyped myself (and forgotten about it ) although im not sure its correct. i had another LHC id before this one and i forgot the password for it and yeah, its been a long journey of lurking haha, glad i finally came out and said hi.

September 15th, 2009, 01:34 PM
you know, i thought of the scizzor thing too, and went and bought the best shears i could find. After that I noticed that a pair of brand new sewing shears i bought were sharper so I started to use those instead (i hadnt cut anything with them yet, they are suuuuper sharp)
i dont know what the problem is! I never noticed this many splits before but thats probably because i am paying more attention now.

September 15th, 2009, 01:34 PM
I agree on making sure your shears are sharp. Other than that you really seem to have your bases covered.

Another thing to consider is that curly hair tends to be more dry in general than other hair types and thus sometimes more prone to splitting. Perhaps you could try giving your hair a nice long soak in conditioner and then do a light oiling on damp hair afterwards? Oil doesn't impart moisture, but applying it after a nice moisture treatment will help keep it in.

September 15th, 2009, 01:35 PM
also i forgot to mention, I am also a henna, henna/indigo head but im not sure if that made the problem better or worse.

September 15th, 2009, 01:49 PM
well thanks for your replies. I will look into getting yet another pair of shears and trying to moisturize more - I guess I was hoping for some miracle answer lol

September 15th, 2009, 02:19 PM
well thanks for your replies. I will look into getting yet another pair of shears and trying to moisturize more - I guess I was hoping for some miracle answer lol

You, me, and everyone else :grouphug:

Who knows, perhaps more moisture and new shears will do the trick!

September 15th, 2009, 06:35 PM
Have you tried some deep conditioning like Snowys Moisture Treatment? There is another one that the name escapes me, made with bananas and oils and honey, someone will know what it is. That is my only suggestion, more intensive conditioning. And welcome, by the way! We are glad to have you.

September 15th, 2009, 07:18 PM
Another thing might be the henna. It's not specifically drying, but if you do it too often, the resin can sort of block moisture. Mixing it with conditioner has helped that with me, and hasn't affected the color too much (or enough for me to care).

I agree with the others, though. your hair sounds porous, like mine, so it's probably prone to dryness, which can cause splitting. The oil and deep treatment advice is great, and would be good with heat, if you can manage that, but without is fine.

Another thing you might want to try is sealing the last few inches of your hair with a thick oil, like olive oil, while it's wet. This 'sealing' is popular among curlies on NC.com, which would be another good place to ask this quesiton.


September 15th, 2009, 09:29 PM
Thanks for the welcome and all the suggestions -http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/images/smilies/redface.gif

I might wear my hair curly more often - for the past few months Ive gotten into the habit of bunning when wet and making it wave instead. It's easier to super moisturize when its curly because I dont have to worry about ruining my set waves.

Question for the curlies - how do you avoid tangles if you dont wash everyday - like I said I was every 3 days or so (I try to stretch it as much as possible) my normal was days (nights) are tuesdays and fridays - oh what was my question (i tend to ramble) ..

if you dont wash/ wet everyday (i only comb when drenched with conditioner) then how do you avoid knots and tangles when your hair is curly? I tend to get the most tangles when I am sleeping so when it is bunned it doesnt knot as much, but the same bun doesnt work when my hair is curly because it ruines the shape of the curls.

ive tried pinapple-ing but i think I move to much in my sleep for that to be a very effective solution.

September 15th, 2009, 09:30 PM
I have tried smts a few times but I didnt really notice much of a difference afterwards, maybe ill give it another go this weekend. I will look into sealing with oil now!

September 15th, 2009, 11:35 PM
You need more moisture. Instead of oil, try Fox' Sheabutter recipe. It contains conditioner (i.e., water and emulgants) and oils. Use it after every wash, generously.

Wet your hair more often. Use a mister with a mixture of water and oil: rose water or distilled oil with a bit of oil, camelia or jojoba (I find jojoba better for the scalp, and camelia or fractionated coconut oil better for the hair). Refresh your hair in the middle of the day, and also in the mornings when you get up.

Check your climate. Some humectants work the other way around in dry climate: instead of sucking the moisture from the air and giving it to your hair, they take the moisture from your hair and transfer it to the air around you. So no glycerine in dry climates!

Check your water. If your water is very hard, it will make porous hair brittle. Do a last rinse with a bit of vinegar or citric acid in water, in extreme cases, use filtered or distilled water for this. It will rinse off the mineral deposits that your water leaves on your hair.

Think about more protective styles for the night.

The rest of your routine sounds fine.

There are people who have split prone hair. Trim regularly and keep those scissors sharp ;-)

September 16th, 2009, 07:56 PM
Just two things occur to me that may contribute to your many split ends:

1. That flat ironing, even if done rarely, is really damaging, and the damage is usually permanent and cumulative. :(

2. You may find that the health of your hair improves if you start wearing it in updos most of the time, rather than wearing it down, as you have stated you prefer. You might find it a bummer to wear it up more, but many have concluded that keeping it up, out of harm's way, really does contribute to it growing in healthier, and therefore, longer and prettier.

Whatever you try, I hope you find something that leaves your hair lovely and split-end free! :)