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View Full Version : Extremely sad - take 2



Little_Bird
August 20th, 2009, 09:10 PM
You can't imagine how much I cried today.

I realizes it would happen a long time ago, but I didn't think my sister would ask me to do it. New people on the forum won't remember that my sister had the most amazing classic lenght hair, thick all the way down to her hands, really straight shiny and beautyfull as silk. Her braid was past tailbone lenght, also very thick all the way down to the very ends...

Today she asked me to cut it back to waist lenght, about 2 years of growth. I just braided her hair to sleep and it's about mid-back when braided, with massive ends that I could hardly put in the elastic.

She told me she didn't want to have the same hair forever, and needed it to change. She told me she loved her hair while it was growing and wasn't feeling that anymore. I understood her position but I asked her to ask someone else to do it but she kept asking me so I decided to do it.

I cried so much while I did it. Just remembering all these 5 years where she grown her hair with me, taking pictures every month, which she hasn't took for a while now...

I feel terrible. It's stupid because it's not my hair and I know I did the right thing to do what she asked me to do. But I really loved her hair and it was my greated isnpiration. I really think that with my love for my hair and long hair in general I make everyone around me want to get theirs cut...

Oh well... life's like this...
And for what it's worth... I'll treasure her hair that was cut with my shedings braid and with another 4 inches I cutted of her hair some months ago.

I just want my hair to grow...

apynip
August 20th, 2009, 09:24 PM
thats so sad! I'm sorry you had to do that but she is happy with her hair now right?
Her happyness is what matters. She sounds like she has beautiful hair and maybe she'll grow it out again you never know. :)

-sends lots of hugs-

hennaphile
August 20th, 2009, 09:26 PM
Oh gosh, I bet that's gotta be painful to do. But if her hair is in good shape, it should grow back if she wants it: /.

If she feels the need to donate it, she can send it over here :P

hennaphile
August 20th, 2009, 09:27 PM
Oh wait, I just looked at your siggy. If her hair is anything like yours, I bet it's a sight to behold :flower:

SHELIAANN1969
August 20th, 2009, 10:05 PM
:grouphug: I think this was something that bonded you with little sissy and made you feel close.

She still has long hair really, she just cut it back a bit, maybe she was not able to manage it.

It will grow and so will yours, don't be sad. :flower: :blossom:

Little_Bird
August 20th, 2009, 10:26 PM
I can't even sleep, and it's 4:15 in the morning. I feel I mutilated the most beautyfull hair I've ever seen. I feel sick. And I couldn't even realise how she feels about it because I just sent her away from me after I did it. I regret it a lot that I've done it, but at least I can prove to everyone around me that my sister had long hair for as longas she wanted to. Everyone around us always tought I was the one forcing my sister having long hair.

Still... It's very hard for me. And yes, our hair was a bond, and a pact we had for 5 years. I knew she was gonna have it cut sooner or later. She's almost 15, she's very young and I knew it wouldn't last long and that she needed to try new things.

Anyways, it's not just the lenght. It's hard to see our flowers growing away from us. I feel like a mother... Actually, I was the one who washed, brushes, treated her hair untill last year, when she wouldn't want me to be in the bathroom while she was in the bath. All these things are very normal, but for me, I always saw her as a companion, as I'm so childish and very likely to Peter Pan... she's now mich "older" than me in lots of aspects. And I think that the fantasy of beaing a faery with very long hair got lost in her way somehow, I don't know.

Not everybody has to like the same things, and we long hairs know this very well as we have to deal with lots of social pressure, and for teenagers I imagine and know it's twice as hard. At least I can say my sister knew how to be independent so far, and I think she did what she wanted. I just hope that it wasn't the last time I saw her hair that lenght. You can't imagine the grandness of her braid. It was the longest hair in all the family. My cousin used Carina used to be, but she's about waist lenght now (she had been more than a classic lenght). My sister was once past classic too. Now I'm the longest... and I realy tought it was a good thing but it's not. I was so proud of my sister's hair and my cousin's too. I feel like it's partially my fault that they started feeling tired about their hair.

I hope I don't sound obssessive and crazy to you, I think we all know the magic of long hair and how it can matter for people. It's been 5 years, 4 of them I shared a lot of things with my sister, and we lived great moments with our hair, taking pictures, doing long detangling sessions, braiding it... Growing older is being tough for me, I don't want to let go of certain moments that are shared with people that want to experience new things. It's happened about 4 times with diferent people. It's very harsh on me...

I think you get the idea... so sorry for this big rant, but I was needing it a lot. Thank you for reading so far...

Alun
August 20th, 2009, 10:38 PM
Hey man, it's OK. Her hair is still long. It's not really so sad. Cheer up:)

EdG
August 20th, 2009, 10:48 PM
Your sister had the best hair cutter in the world. :agree:

Waist-length is still long. She'll be fine. :)

As for your hair, I think you're also doing fine. Give it some time to see if it gets longer. Even if your hair has reached terminal, it's still long. :)
Ed

Roseate
August 20th, 2009, 10:56 PM
I'm sure she'll always have good memories of how you helped her with her hair, and how you cut it perfectly for her when she was ready to cut it. She is still so young, I know she has many happy longhaired years ahead of her, and so do you! :grouphug:

Bereft
August 21st, 2009, 03:08 AM
Hey, I know kind of how you feel. Not quite the same emotional bond as between sisters, but a dear friend of mine had the most gorgeous knee length wavy hair, and one day, decided she was not living up to her role as a lesbian, and had the WHOLE lot of it cut off. She wanted to look more like a boy, but the irony was she looked even more girly with 2 inch long curls. I was so upset, I almost cried when I saw her. I'm pretty sure a tear leaked out. She was going to let me keep the braid they cut off, but, her mom wouldnt let me have it. She gave me a lock of it to keep instead.

Anyway, sorry for the hijack, but her hair is still long by most standards, and she's still your sister, she will always have those memories just like you will. I hope you feel better soon. :flower:

DavidN
August 21st, 2009, 03:45 AM
I am so sorry, Little Bird, and of course, I know it is very, very, hard for you to experience this. I know that you and your sister are extremely close, and the important thing is that you will always be close. Waist length is still long by any standards, so please try to hang in there, and I hope your fellow LHC members have helped you feel a little better.

Nes
August 21st, 2009, 05:56 AM
Aww i'm sorry I can't imagine how sad you feel.

It seems that maybe this is as much about the bond between you and your sister as it is about hair. Maybe you feel like your shared long hair connected you two and it's like you just "cut" the connection as it were. Make sure that you two find other things to bond over and spend time together on.

Just a thought... i'm no expert myself, but i've heard about people using their cut lengths in updo's - maybe you could use hers?

You could use her braided length in your hair do, like to do a braid wrapped bun or something. So when you wore it, it would be like a symbol of the long hair connection between you and your sister.

Sorry if that sounds silly, and I don't know if it would work - just an idea.

Nes x

Chrissy
August 21st, 2009, 07:36 AM
It will be OK!!!:grouphug:

Maddy25
August 21st, 2009, 07:40 AM
awww I'm sorry :( That would be so hard to do but you were a very strong sister to do that for her <3

Jason
August 21st, 2009, 08:09 AM
I can understand why you feel the way you do. I remember very well all the updates you did with your sister and looked forward to them very much. The love you have for each other came out in the photos and clearly growing your hair long was something special that you could share together.

As others have said, at least her hair is still comparatively long and perhaps she will grow it back to classic length at some point. I'm glad you still have your strong conviction to keep growing your own hair.

Sheltie_Momma
August 21st, 2009, 09:06 AM
Seems like this is more than just about the hair, symbolic of her growing up and away a bit, which is as it should be for a young lady, but still hard for you. Hugs, I hope you feel comforted by your friends here.

IStand4u
August 21st, 2009, 09:24 AM
I'm sorry to hear about this, it must be terribly sad for you. Your sister is growing up into a young lady though, and it is very VERY hard for teenagers to have long hair (at least in my community). Her hair is still very long though, and it will grow. On the plus side, if she had any split ends coming (which I doubt because you took care of her hair) then they are gone for good.
Hang in there, and find other things to do with your sister.
HUGS

Amraann
August 21st, 2009, 09:40 AM
I get that you feel like "hair time" was a bonding thing for the 2 of you, but certainly you will still be close and find other things to do together?

Like everyone said waist length hair is still long by almost everyone's definition.
You have nothing to feel sad about. She is young and needs to spread her wings a bit.
You should be happy that she is growing into an independent young woman.

Jason
August 21st, 2009, 10:14 AM
awww I'm sorry :( That would be so hard to do but you were a very strong sister to do that for her <3

Little Bird is male.:)

Maddy25
August 21st, 2009, 10:57 AM
Little Bird is male.:)

:o oops! Its hard to tell by photos of only the back of the head lol. Sorry!

Little_Bird
August 21st, 2009, 11:47 AM
No problem Maddy =) I usually take that as a compliment...

Thank you so much everyone for all the suport you've given me. I'm feeling much better now, even tough it will be a while untill I get used to my sister's new look.

You're all right that it was more than the hair, as I had said previously. I am very happy that she is becoming independent and starting to make her own decisions and standing for them. That's one of the things I always tried teaching her.

I respect her decision and that's why I did it for her.

Thank's so much everyone :flowers:

frodolaughs
August 21st, 2009, 11:53 AM
Little Bird, I hope you feel better soon. It sounds like your sister still has long, beautiful hair, and as people grow up they need to feel that decisions about their appearance are their own. I'm sure this is part of what's going on with your sister. If you made a pact to grow your hair together 5 years ago, when she was 10 and still just a child, I wouldn't be surprised if she now feels that it's time to have some space for herself and figure out what it is that she wants. Just as it's hard to see someone grow up and move into their own world, it's very hard to figure out how to move into the space we will occupy as autonomous adults while holding on to the people we love. It sounds like you are the sort of big brother who will be there for his sister as she works out this stage of life, and that is of course much more important than anything else. Kudos to you for being there for her.

Redheaded Raven
August 21st, 2009, 12:11 PM
Little Bird, I understand your pain, I hated when my sister cut her hair off and she and I don't have nearly as close of a relationship as you do. Just be there for her as you have always been and you both will do great. Family is so important.

On another note, I understand those who just see your hair not realizing that you are a guy, because you have hair that is just so wonderful! I have envied you your hair for years. :o I loved watching your videos. I want hair that thick again...

JamieLeigh
August 21st, 2009, 04:43 PM
It is sad to see so much work just cut off, but long hair really is something that you have to WANT to have. And to be fair, she really did try it out and give it a shot. That's more than you can say for most people, who don't make it past BSL and decide they're ready to cut. At least she tried and tested, and decided it wasn't for her.

And, if she misses it, she can always grow it back. :flower:

Amara
August 21st, 2009, 05:22 PM
Aw, hugs. I'm so sorry that you're going through a rough time with her. You should be proud she wanted you to help with the cut, though. It's obvious how much you two care about each other. :)

Loviatar
August 21st, 2009, 05:31 PM
Oh poor Little Bird. You have some great advice here, please try to focus on your sister's new lovely healthy ends and thick braids. Waist length is still a dream for me, it is still much longer than average, and it should mean a lot to you that she chose you to cut it for her.

I love Nes's idea that you could make a braid to wrap your bun from your sister's cut hair. That would be very sweet.

Hugs to you both and nice to see you posting again. I had wondered where you had got to and hoped you were OK.

Dvips
August 21st, 2009, 07:11 PM
You're all right that it was more than the hair, as I had said previously. I am very happy that she is becoming independent and starting to make her own decisions and standing for them. That's one of the things I always tried teaching her.

I respect her decision and that's why I did it for her.

Thank's so much everyone :flowers:
You are such a good sibling to her, and this is also a moment - a process - of growth for you now. {{hugs}}

embee
August 21st, 2009, 07:48 PM
It's hard, and you did the best you could, very supportive, just like you meant to be. :)

... and when she is an old lady she can tell her grandchildren how she and her big brother both grew out their hair, and hers was sooooooooo long it went down to her hands! And they will all be amazed and imagine her as a princess in a fairy tale! :)

What a special treasure you and she have shared!