I'm Never Going to Another Hairdresser!

[shortgoinglong]

I am so mad right now! My hair was growing so nicely to almost past my neck from a pixie cut. I was getting a mullet, however, so I went to a reputable salon. I told the stylist I only wanted a small trim and I was growing out my hair. She snipped a huge piece off the bottom and I knew I was in trouble but it was so uneven I let her finish. I now have a short pixie again shorter than when I started growing!:( I asked her why she cut so much and she said she had to so I would not have any split ends growing out my hair. My ends all looked healthy to me and not damaged at all! This happens to me every time I go to a salon. Oh well, guess I have all winter to grow out.

[LawyerGirl]

Sorry to hear about your experience! When I go to a salon, they always take more than I mean for them to. People on this forum--- when they go to a salon-- usually ask for the hairdresser to show them exactly how much hair they plan on cutting before they will let scissors touch their hair.

Hugs!

[JamieLeigh]

I'm sorry you've had a bad experience! This is one of the many reasons I trim my own hair, and when I can't do it myself anymore, I've got a good friend who is also growing out his long hair to cut it for me. :grouphug: :flower:

[marikamt]

Yikes! That is terrible... I would at least complain to the owner/ manager.... even if your ends were damaged. she had no right to cut that much!!!!
Not to hi-jack this thread, but after reading how many trim/ cut horror stories there are out there, had anyone been to a beauty school for a trim?? I am wondering if they would be "safer" as they are really trying to listen/ learn/ please the customer??

[Loreley]

This has already happened to me, as well. I said I wanted 2 inches to be cut, and the hairdresser cut 4. :boohoo:
I haven't been to any hairdressers since then. I trim my ends on my own. No one can touch my hair with a scissor, except me.

[camirra555]

That sucks, I'm sorry you had to go through that. I have an appointment next week and I've decided I'm not going to get a trim. She didn't take off too much last time but the time before that she did. I'm going to try to hold out until at least October before trimming.

[halo_tightens]

Ooooh, I'd be foaming at the mouth! :angry:

Realistically, though, I would make a complaint to the owner or manager, as marikamt said. If I ran a hair salon, I certainly wouldn't want to have one of my employees creating dissatisfied customers. A stylist's job is to give the customer the exact treatment that he or she asks for, even if she disagrees. The customer is always right, as they say!

In the meantime... perhaps you can comfort yourself with thoughts of your lovely blunt totally-undamaged ends? Sigh... sending hugs your way.

[Madame J]

One thing to think about is if you're growing out a short haircut, like a pixie, it's going to be very very uneven, and pretty impossible to even out unless you cut it back into a pixie, until the shortest pieces reach or chin or so. I would suggest you either ignore the mullet-hood for a while (scarves and headwraps are good for this), or else see if a friend/relative will trim just the bottom at the nape of your neck. Most stylists are worried about letting a customer leave their chair with an unpolished looking style, which is probably what the stylist was thinking when she cut so much. My husband used to have the same problem when he went to the barber shop -- he would tell the guy he wanted to grow out his hair, but the guy would just set his clippers a couple settings longer and give him the same cut as alway. He finally got his hair to start growing out when I started giving him monthly "de-mulletting" trims of just the hairs that crawled down the back of his neck.

If you don't have someone you can trust to trim just a tiny bit, even if it doesn't look "finished" when they're done, you might just have to give up trimming until it's all past your chin or shoulders. That's basically what I did -- I got my pixie cleaned up before going on a cruise, and then didn't touch it for nine months (when I got it trimmed and re-layered for my wedding). It grew from a pixie to past chin length, with long bangs, in that time. After my wedding, I didn't let anyone touch it for another 7 months, at which point it was just past my shoulders. Now I'm trying to let it go for a year.

[Toadstool]

Oh no, that's so unfair! I would be really angry too. Maybe next time if there is one you'll have to be really specific like "no more than 1cm off please" and if they say they won't do that then leave.

[Fractalsofhair]

Awww! A lot of the "reputable" salons are reputable for normal hair, dyed, processed and with a "normal"(not long) style. I've actually had good results from my local salon, and my stylist is awesome. She's on maternity leave now, so no cuts till Dec for me, and hopefully the salon won't replace her. Horrid at coloring though, so she has a bad rep.(And I have seen the results of her coloring. She's a big fan of low volume peroxide. This means extremely brassy hair.) She works at a salon that has a huge emph on perms and damaging stuff and is the lower stylist there. She's amazing at cutting hair though, and spent quite a bit of time with me on the style. A lot of stylists aren't quite like that though, and you really do need to look around. A cost cutters may be a better option than a "trendy" salon, and an old school barber shop might be a good option for single length cuts(They tend to be nervous cutting women's hair, so they'll err on the side of an uneven cut as opposed to a trendy cut). Also, the places that cater to the aged women tend to be pretty good with cuts as they won't go for a "trendy" look.

[bte]

Very sorry to hear of your experience - it is very rare for salons to listen, and the last thing they want is for you to grow your out and not go to see them every few weeks!

Join the no trimming club for a few months and you will make progress - the mullet look will soon disappear.

[LittleOrca]

I am sorry you had to deal with that. :( When I grew my hair out from pixie I waited until my bangs were at chin length and then I asked for a bob to get rid of all the layers and uneven hair. If you want to trim at that point, I suggest it. Stylist seem happy to cut off APL hair in favor of a bob all the time! However, if you do not mind the uneven hairs and want to go for more of a fairytale look (which my hair did anyways despite that even cut to begin with), keep it growing the way it is.

Either way, we are all here for you and will lend you support as you grow it back out. :grouphug:

[missfortune9335]

*GASP* I'm so sorry! I've grown out a pixie too, it's a long process and this would make me so upset :( when you get back to your mullet stage again (and you will, no worries, it will grow) tell them to cut off THE TAIL ONLY be very specific about this. tell them your horror story and then tell them again the tail only. let them know you plan to grow your hair into a bob from there and will live with the akward lengths in the mean time.

[LadyGoddess]

I went to a beauty school with a friend and my friend ambushed me along with her in-training friend to get a trim. I discussed at length my fears and the irresponsibility of previous stylist for chopping off much more than I asked. The girl swore she understood and would only trim off an inch. She did it in a circular motion and the shortest pieces came up to my elbows, not my wrist as promised!

So I've decided that I don't care, I'll let my hair do its own thing!

[LittleOrca]

I just thought, maybe have a family member or friend you trust help give you a trim when you need it? There has to be a lot of information on self-trimming around here somewhere...

[spidermom]

That's too bad. I have had very few problems with stylists over the years, which is pretty incredible seeing as I used to be very impulsive and be a walk-in customer at salons I'd never visited before. I guess I'm a good communicator because only on a few occasions did I get something I was unhappy with.

My current stylist is awesome. She has to squat low to trim my ends, but she does it with good attitude, and I'm always happy.

[adiapalic]

I've never actually been to a salon, because I haven't had short hair since I was 7, and that was at my shoulders--cut by my mama.

Ever since, it just grew to my waist and I was getting trims keeping it there. Now I'm growing my hair longer. I don't think I'll ever step into a salon to get my own hair cut--though I do accompany my sister for her haircoloring/trims.

When I do get trims, I usually get my dad to do it. I haven't had a trim since sometime last year.

[LaurelSpring]

I know its hard with the uneven pixie look but honestly the only way I ever got anywhere in growing my hair was to stop going to a salon. I tried doing the mini trim theory for awhile and alot of people do that but I just got nowhere. I stayed for years at nowhere because of it. The only thing that has worked for me is no trims. Just buy a bunch of little clips and push through the awkward phase. Otherwise you will be stuck there forever!

[jivete]

My hair didn't grow as long as APL until I quit going to stylists. The only way I've ever gotten what I want was to be really adament, like "I know I sound like a b*tch, but if you take off more than x, I'm going to be really mad. I tip well otherwise." I did get a good trim that time, but it's better now that I can just do it myself.

[marikamt]

You know, all of this is really a shame...... I can't believe we can't go get a trim without getting a chop job..... really kinda makes me mad... I would love to get bangs cut and some face framing layers, but am afraid they would hack off too much..... I wish hairdressers "got it"... I may not come in every 6 weeks (or I may w/ bangs) but I would be a very loyal customer and RECOMMEND if they just did it right......... I do have friends who love to cut/ color/ change their hair..... word of mouth is great advertising!

[heidihug]

...I would be a very loyal customer and RECOMMEND if they just did it right.

Unfortunately, 99% of people who walk into a salon do not want what we, as long-hairs, generally want. It is really hard for many stylists to really "get" people who do not want to be trendy, who just want to grow. Unless you have an established relationship with a hairstylist who understands, respects and appreciates your goals, you may run into these problems again.

I really used to like going to the salon for a wash and trim, but, sadly, I was forced to give it up. Even the stylists who were friends or acquaintances of mine ended up cutting WAY too much off, even after I demonstrated exactly what I wanted. Now, I self-trim. It gets much easier to do the longer your hair is.

Good luck on your growing journey!

[Thinthondiel]

I asked her why she cut so much and she said she had to so I would not have any split ends growing out my hair.

Seriously?? There is no way that hair grown from pixie to mullet stage is so damaged that the damage can't be removed by a tiny trim. And, if you're quoting her correctly here, she didn't even say that you had split ends - it sounds to me like she didn't even bother to check, but simply cut it short just in case there were any split ends. And by her logic - if people have to cut their hair back to pixie length in order to avoid split ends when their hair is at the mullet stage - then it would be impossible for anyone with a pixie to ever grow their hair long! :rolleyes:

[RancheroTheBee]

Awww. *hugs* I'm sorry that happened. You might want to stick to self-trimming for now. If you need help trimming the back, ask a friend or family member to help.

[LaFlor]

It's so unfortunate that the stylists just don't deliver like we would expect them too. I need to learn how to self trim!

[serenitygal]

I'm sorry you had such an unpleasant experience.

I've found that bargain places often give better cuts than more posh salons if you want a cut versus a style. I'll go to a particular person who knows I'm growing my hair out; I give her very specific instructions ("keep the layers I have now, just trim a half inch off of everything") and she follows them well. I did go to a fairly posh place for a while, but spending upwards of $40 for a service I can get for $10 began to gall me after a while. Of course, I have curly hair, so once it's cut properly the first time (and I gladly paid $40 for that) it can be maintained fairly easily, and small mistakes don't show.

In the future, I'd suggest a few things. First of all, try not cutting for a year. Your hair will not look particularly great for the next year, but I at least would rather spend a year with so-so hair than three trying to trim off the so-so parts. Use small clips, bobby pins, scarves or headbands to pull back the shorter top and front hair and "blend" it into a less-obvious mullet. If you wear a hat well, take advantage of that, too!

After a year (or even a year and a half--I went about that long without a trim) your hair should be around your shoulers in places, and a bit shorter in others. It will look a lot better. Trim then, if you wish or if you have damage, but have only a half-inch or so removed. Soon all the hair will be at your shoulders...then APL...then BSL (a HUGE milestone for me, as I have a looooong torso and very short legs) and eventually waist.

It took me about three years to go from about 1-2" all over my head to BSL. After the first year and a half, I trimmed every quarter year initially and then every six months. Once it's longer, it can be put up, and that will significantly reduce the damage and (by extension) the need for trims.

It takes a lot of patience, a lot of "put it up and ignore it"....but (for me) it's worth it in the end.

:flowers:

[Jessikinz]

Oh wow that is just awful. I agree with everyone else, next time just do a self-trim or have someone you trust like a family member/friend.

I've only had two really bad salon experiences, but it hasn't stopped me from going to salons. My hairdresser (she wasn't the one that I had horrible experiences with) is a really good family friend and she trims exactly how much I want off. I guess I'm kind of lucky though.

[shortgoinglong]

Thanks for all the advice. I have made a decision. I now have undamaged short hair. I will not cut for a year no matter how bad it looks. I will let it do its thing until it grows out and then maybe I'll trim.

[rach]

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/images/smilies/angry.gif

[LaurenH]

Yikes! So sorry! :(

[little_acorn]

Poor you and massive hugs. :blossom: That happened to me once when I had APL hair and she cut 5 inches off. I cried.

However, many years later I have an awesome hairdressor who has long hair herself. We always negotiate first and she never deviates from what we've agreed.

[Addy]

The last time that happened to me, I VOWED to never walk into another salon! I went from bsl to shoulder and tons of layers, I'm sick just even thinking about the massacre she bestowed upon me. I am serious, if I didn't have kids, I'd of cut her long, bleached blonde hair right off. OMG, I was so mad, I just wanted her to know what it was like and how it feels to have all your hair whapped off with one swipe of the scissors. :mad:

With that said, I'm so sorry she chopped your hair off. The good thing is that it will grow but it never grows fast enough. Gosh. It's just terrible. :(

[Autumnberry]

Awww! A lot of the "reputable" salons are reputable for normal hair, dyed, processed and with a "normal"(not long) style. I've actually had good results from my local salon, and my stylist is awesome. She's on maternity leave now, so no cuts till Dec for me, and hopefully the salon won't replace her. Horrid at coloring though, so she has a bad rep.(And I have seen the results of her coloring. She's a big fan of low volume peroxide. This means extremely brassy hair.) She works at a salon that has a huge emph on perms and damaging stuff and is the lower stylist there. She's amazing at cutting hair though, and spent quite a bit of time with me on the style. A lot of stylists aren't quite like that though, and you really do need to look around. A cost cutters may be a better option than a "trendy" salon, and an old school barber shop might be a good option for single length cuts(They tend to be nervous cutting women's hair, so they'll err on the side of an uneven cut as opposed to a trendy cut). Also, the places that cater to the aged women tend to be pretty good with cuts as they won't go for a "trendy" look.

Also, childrens' salons are great because they really respect their clientele. They don't push processes which damage hair. And there is no horrible smell of chemicals :cheese:. I'd never go back to a regular salon!

[Teacherbear]

Thanks for all the advice. I have made a decision. I now have undamaged short hair. I will not cut for a year no matter how bad it looks. I will let it do its thing until it grows out and then maybe I'll trim.

That's a good attitude to have! :cheese:

Several years ago I read that hairdressers are trained (and I may be totally wrong) that "trim" means "cut to the level where there is no more damage/split ends." If you want 1/2 inch cut off, one needs to state "cut 1/2 inch" and ask him/her to show you how much will be cut before cutting.

Again, I know you were angry and frustrated when you first wrote this, but it sounds like you have a good positive outlook now. :rockerdud

[Lilli]

Don't get it trimmed ever again. I know a girl who shaved her head last year (January 08.) She never trimmed it at all and let it grow. I thought she was nuts at the time for not trimming it up, but now, 18 months later, it is below shoulder length and she can put it in a ponytail. For the first year, she pretty much used a lot of scarves to hide the mullet, but now she has APL hair. The top layers are shorter, but overall, it looks "long."

If you must, get a mirror and some scissors and do it yourself. That is what I did last week when the nape of my layered bob looked mullety. I just took off a quarter inch and it was easy.

[inertia]

The same thing happened to me. I'd spent a year growing out a short cut. I was 12 years old and vacationing in London; I thought that surely the stylish British could turn this awkward shoulder-length stage into a more presentable style. I explained I was growing it out and only wanted a very small trim. He took off 6 inches, the entire year's growth, and I had hair above my ears again. There was no way it was necessary for damage, I had virgin hair which had never been heat-styled. I left the salon in tears and didn't get another haircut for 2 years.

I recommend letting it grow without any trims for at least a year, maybe 2. Once most of the hair is below SL, it should be much easier to communicate to the stylist that you want to keep it long. I know that growing-out stage feels awkward but you can have some fun with it in the meantime. It's a good time to experiment with vintage styles like pin curls and rolls, which are difficult to do with longer hair. Don't think of it as a "mullet," remember that there are a lot of great looks which are actually best with short-to-medium-length layered cuts and keep an open mind. With a little creativity, I'm sure you can make it look pretty at every stage. :)

[violetka]

This is just horrible. I totally sympathize. It happened to me the last time i trimmed (about a year a go or more like 8 months). I also took this decision, because I go annoyed with the stupid hair dressers. The thing is that there really is a trimming propaganda - if you trim your hair grows faster, if you do not trim, your hair gets damaged. Yes but if you always trim , your hair does not grow at all. I still feel angry thinking about it, but there is nothing you can do about the past. I also decided to use whatever necessary products to make my hair grow faster.
What I am really pissed about is also that my hair dresser used to thin my hair with razor(I have very thick hair), and now i have a lot of split ends on the layers that she thinned - but I was ignorant and did not know what damage this does to the hair. I hate her I hate her I hate her. :D:D:D

[Tomato]

I know this kind of salons.... and how to avoid these and having cut of my hair against my wishes.
i can only recommend to very clearly tell the hairdresser what you want, best even before you sit down. Ask your freinds which salon is recommended. Ask people with long hair which salon they recommend.
Usually, when I go to the hairdresser, the conversation before cutting takes longer than the actual cutting itself.
The last hairdresser who wanted to cut 2cm instead of the 1 cm I wanted became very pale when I started getting angry.
It's youir hair, fight for it!
Kind regards,
T.

[longhairenvy]

I think it's rare to find a hairdresser who will do what YOU want. Most high end salons employ people who consider themselves artists and often cut your hair the way THEY think would look good on you. I would have had a few choice words for that hairdresser; I feel bad for you, it's MADDENING.:mad:

If it helps at all.......go to my pics; the most recent picture there is 2yrs of growth (WITH TRIMS I did myself) from a VERY short pixie that was shaved a the neck and my hair doesn't grow particulary fast. I would say it's now about 1/2inch above BSL. YOU CAN DO IT!!!

ps: I highly recommend a very good hair/skin/nails vitamin also.

[Sammybunny711]

I'm sorry you had this experience! That is so sad! I hope that it grows out quickly for you!

[30isthenewblack]

This has happened to me so many times. After joining the LHC, I started trimming my own hair and it's finally growing. I know this is not an option for you yet unless you can get a trusted friend to do it for you. [hugs] I've been there as have been so many people on this forum. I went to a hairdresser to get a Whitney Houston style bob and my virgin hair which had never seen a hairdresser was butchered. My hair was shaved at the back and only less than an 1" long when pulled straight and my hair is curly.

[Aunteater]

Aww. I'm so sorry that happened to you.

When I was growing my hair out after I shaved my head, I definitely noticed the mullet problem, and I was too poor to go to a hairdresser. I solved the problem by purchasing cheap electric shears (a "buzzer") and two full-length mirrors from Wal-Mart for about the same cost as one haircut at a salon ;) I'd spread a sheet on the floor, arrange a couple of chairs to lean the mirrors against, and adjust until I could see the back of my head fairly well. Then I'd use the scissors to trim the "top" of my hair into a respectable angled bob-shape (longer in the front than in the back) and buzz off everything below the ends of the bob on a short setting. I did this until the top hair reached the nape of my neck, and then stopped cutting altogether-- that way I didn't look mullety, and didn't have to grow out layers.

As always, try it at your own risk. There are lots of unfortunate accidents that can happen when you are trying to buzz the back of your own head. I thankfully avoided them, but it was a concern.

[going gray]

I'd be SO angry....back to the beginning again! I've had it happen to me too in the past. You definately need to find a stylist who listens to you! They're out there, I've found one & she's simply wonderful.

[Raven2448]

That is awful. AND the fact that you paid for that! Grrr

[Fiferstone]

:flowers:

Words fail me. Super short layers are a b*tch, I agree with LittleOrca, put up with the mullety phase until your short layers are long enough for you to have them cut into a chin- or shoulder-length bob (whichever option works best with your face). A blunt cut is the least frustrating cut to grow out from, I've found.

Here's something else that I hope will help you feel better:

:chocolate:

[heatherdazy]

Yikes! ...anyone been to a beauty school for a trim?? I am wondering if they would be "safer" as they are really trying to listen/ learn/ please the customer??
They are definitely more into trying to please, but at that phase they often have difficulty getting an even cut and have to go back and forth correcting their uneven line until they wind up taking too much.

My recommendation would be to just get a free consultation before booking an actual appointment. The hairstylist should ask you about your hair goals and give you a step by step 'game plan' letting you how much they plan to cut, where they're going to cut it from, the different phases your hair will go through, etc.

For example, if someone had come into me with a mullet and telling me they wanted long hair, I would let them know the important thing would be to keep trimming up the back while leaving the sides, top, and layers alone. I would ask the client how much she was comfortable taking off the back at a time, and we would agree to either take the back up as much as possible each time until it was even with the sides, for fewer appointments, or we could just trim the back a bit each time which would take more appointments, but would allow her to feel like she was losing less hair.

If she opted for the latter, I would only charge for every other appointment, since it's really just a half haircut anyway.

Anyway, if a stylist doesn't make you feel 100% confidant that she's going to do exactly what you want during the consult, you simply go talk with another stylist!

[pdy2kn6]

I am so sorry for you. They drive me mad. Why do they do this???!!!! It was obviously not what you wanted, just what the hairdresser wanted. I hope you didn't give her/him a tip. They need to stop getting so carried away scissor happy cutting what they think ''is best'' for the hair.

[Fireweed]

That is how long my hair was when I WAS 12 YEARS OLD. I just never cut it after that, no trims. IT seems to me that I had it in a short pony tail in about year and by the time I was around 15 years old it was BSL. IT well grow if you don't cut it. Be strong and come here for support.

[lynlora]

The forever popular "ends are damaged or split" excuse to chop away :(

[WhitsEnd]

I went to a salon once because I had a gift certificate and told the lady that I only wanted about an inch trimmed off. After she wet my hair she brought out this measuring thing that she put on my shoulders so that she would only trim off exactly an inch. I was so excited because it seems like some people's idea of an inch is more like a foot.

[templeofvenus]

whe I grew out a pixie years ago I just grew it and did not have it cut for 18months until it was long enough that I could say cut it straight along my shoulders to even it up, the mullet look does not last long, I used broad hairbands to disguise it a bit, do that to avoid any hairdresser errors!!!! how awful I bet you were so upset :( anyhow since then mine has been all styles of bob and I am now just past hin growing out a bob yet again lol so your cut is just a minor setback it will grow again in no time :)

[Fractalsofhair]

Also, childrens' salons are great because they really respect their clientele. They don't push processes which damage hair. And there is no horrible smell of chemicals :cheese:. I'd never go back to a regular salon!

Ooo. I shall have to look for one. The children in my area just go to regular salons, and get the processes encouraged for them. (Even on 4-5 year olds, they're encouraged to get dyed blonde hair if they're not naturally blonde as "Babies are blonde, and you don't want your daughter being mistaken for a teenager"(as if anyone could mistake a 5 year old for a 13 year old!!! And most of the adult females have dyed hair, very often blonde...I hope they're not babies. Also, if a child has even wavy hair, the stylist generally complains constantly to the mother about how curly and hard to manage it is, and encourages relaxers to make money. Since no child generally likes their hair being detangled.). Tis odd, and I have heard of infants going in for their first haircut, and often having the stylist encourage a few highlights, which just seems wrong...) But one catering to children, they hopefully wouldn't do things like that.

[yogachic]

I'm sorry! That is horrible!

[heatherdazy]

Ooo. I shall have to look for one. The children in my area just go to regular salons, and get the processes encouraged for them. (Even on 4-5 year olds, they're encouraged to get dyed blonde hair if they're not naturally blonde as "Babies are blonde, and you don't want your daughter being mistaken for a teenager"(as if anyone could mistake a 5 year old for a 13 year old!!! And most of the adult females have dyed hair, very often blonde...I hope they're not babies. Also, if a child has even wavy hair, the stylist generally complains constantly to the mother about how curly and hard to manage it is, and encourages relaxers to make money. Since no child generally likes their hair being detangled.). Tis odd, and I have heard of infants going in for their first haircut, and often having the stylist encourage a few highlights, which just seems wrong...) But one catering to children, they hopefully wouldn't do things like that.
I have never heard of anything like that... most stylists I know refuse to do chemical services on children younger than 10 or 12. I would be very interested to know exactly what salons are suggesting infant highlights...

[Autumnberry]

Ooo. I shall have to look for one. The children in my area just go to regular salons, and get the processes encouraged for them. (Even on 4-5 year olds, they're encouraged to get dyed blonde hair if they're not naturally blonde as "Babies are blonde, and you don't want your daughter being mistaken for a teenager"(as if anyone could mistake a 5 year old for a 13 year old!!! And most of the adult females have dyed hair, very often blonde...I hope they're not babies. Also, if a child has even wavy hair, the stylist generally complains constantly to the mother about how curly and hard to manage it is, and encourages relaxers to make money. Since no child generally likes their hair being detangled.). Tis odd, and I have heard of infants going in for their first haircut, and often having the stylist encourage a few highlights, which just seems wrong...) But one catering to children, they hopefully wouldn't do things like that.

Children's salons use very little chemicals, and it is a perfect place for anyone with chemical allergies. They don't usually do nails, either, so those chemicals are not in the air. And very pertinent to this thread, my experience is that they listen to your requests. My experience with high-end adult salons is that they told me my hair looked horrible (gee, thanks) and needed high and low lights (Their expensive processes then destroyed my hair.) I never get any of that cash-movitated negativity now, and I pay a tiny fraction of what I used to pay at the adult salon. It's the perfect place for long-haired people (or those growing out :)) who just want a micro-trim without any sales pitch or deception. I have saved a huge amount of money, and my hair is in a BETTER condition. And I'm not afraid to go in for a trim!

[Fractalsofhair]

I have never heard of anything like that... most stylists I know refuse to do chemical services on children younger than 10 or 12. I would be very interested to know exactly what salons are suggesting infant highlights...

The infant highlights are fairly unusual, I've never seen it done personally(Have heard stories, and have heard stylists pushing it on parents for very young toddlers, but generally the parents just flat out say no. Only seen the highlights done once on a child under 6, and that was for a wedding. And I have seen young children with brightly colored chunks of hair, but... I'm presuming that was done at home.), but I have seen fairly young girls getting their hair dyed(Under age 10). It does vary salon to salon, but at my elementary school, when the principal put a ban on hairdying, (For 3rd-5th graders), there was a huge outcry since it would be embarrassing to the children and such. My physics teacher has a 6 year old, and she's already getting pressure at school to do her hair blonde(she has jet black hair, if it's anything like her fathers, which he says it is.), because it apparently "ages her" and makes her look "emo" and like a teen... The principal did manage to succeed in a ban on noticeable makeup, which certainly was nice.

The relaxer and bleach seems to be the most common, and it's generally only encouraging people to bleach to blonde(Not white, and often not much of a bleach at all), and relax slightly, but not flat iron daily(unless the child has very curly hair or African American hair). They aren't AS demanding on the children as they are on adults, as many stylists in my town flat out will put bleach on your hair without your asking(generally not charging you though) if you aren't careful. Fake nails aren't really common though till about age 10-12(And when I was younger, it was about age 13-14 when most girls started getting them, bleaching started mostly around age 10 for the girls who hadn't been bleaching their hair since early childhood, but the ages have dropped quite a bit from what I see on the buses and with friends younger sibs.), same deal with indoor tanning, since a lot of those places discourage it for younger children.

I personally think it's crazy that younger kids are expected to look perfect, but then again, I had a bowl cut as a young child! XD The salons that suggest it are small local beauty salons, not the chain ones(From what I've heard. I haven't been to a Cost Cutters yet.). A lot of parents do find it annoying/dislike it, but enough parents do buy into it to make it worth while for the stylist to encourage it. Stylists like to make money, and a lot of little girls go thru a princess phase, and blonde hair is VERY common naturally among people in my town for young children, so a lot of parents feel awkward if their child doesn't have it. A lot of little girls want to be "just like mommy" and dye their hair the same shade as mommy and look like her(Very normal for young children, certainly harmless. It's more how stylists go along with it that bothers me.).

A lot of parents do get the relaxer and bleach done in hopes of making hair more managable, since a lot of parents(esp the younger ones) are very anti conditioner(A lot of people think it's unhygenic.), and children do have a hard time combing their hair, so parents get the first process done in vain hope, and well... The growth in is horrid looking, so it gets done again and again. A good percentage of children do still have virgin hair untill about age 10-12 though, and I do know of a few stylists that won't do anything more than highlights till a child is in middle school, or odd colored streaks. There's certainly a good number that do dye hair though, and I do know many children that don't know their natural hair color. It's really only mostly the girls though. The boys generally have their hair just trimmed and left be, though a guy can dye it. (I had one male friend in high school who dyed his hair black from a very...odd... brassy shade of blonde(his natural color), but he only started sophomore year. Most guys do keep their hair their natural color though). There are some stylists who don't dye hair young, and who don't practically force children to get these processes done to their hair, but I've had my share of stylists telling my mother I need to bleach my hair and such when I was little.(A paul Mitchel Salon in Western MA was one of the worst. The same one that destroyed my hair...) The ones that are the worst are the "fashionable" ones that use higher end products, and focus agressivly on selling the products.

[Fractalsofhair]

Children's salons use very little chemicals, and it is a perfect place for anyone with chemical allergies. They don't usually do nails, either, so those chemicals are not in the air. And very pertinent to this thread, my experience is that they listen to your requests. My experience with high-end adult salons is that they told me my hair looked horrible (gee, thanks) and needed high and low lights (Their expensive processes then destroyed my hair.) I never get any of that cash-movitated negativity now, and I pay a tiny fraction of what I used to pay at the adult salon. It's the perfect place for long-haired people (or those growing out :)) who just want a micro-trim without any sales pitch or deception. I have saved a huge amount of money, and my hair is in a BETTER condition. And I'm not afraid to go in for a trim!

Yep, the fancy adult salons do bother me. They're the worst in terms of encouraging/forcing people to get processes in their hair. (I've been told my hair is almost black, gray and ugly, so I need to color it, and that it's very curly and needs to be relaxed. This I've had since I was a young child and my hair was almost white blonde and 1a!!! And I can say, my hair is quite managable.) The only thing I don't like about my current salon is that they do do nails and that they do do a lot of color and such, so it smells horrid. However, I've finally found a stylist who isn't as OTT about selling products and such, so IDK. I'll look into it if she's booked.(She recently had a baby, so I'll be going in Dec for a trim)

[heatherdazy]

A lot of parents do get the relaxer and bleach done in hopes of making hair more managable, since a lot of parents(esp the younger ones) are very anti conditioner(A lot of people think it's unhygenic.)
Okay, I think you officially live in the twilight zone... ;)

[Fractalsofhair]

Okay, I think you officially live in the twilight zone... ;)
XD It does mostly seem to be the mothers that are 20 or so(not the ones that are Boomers), but given the number of people in my school that think that, IDK. Based on what my camp friends say about their towns, it seems to be standard across the board in terms of how my town acts.

My parents never really hung out with these sorts of people, my dad was a hippie, and my mother... Goodness knows what "group" she was in. XD I've been quite shocked at the number of people that are creeped out by conditioner as I've gotten older.

[Aeon F.]

..... I've been quite shocked at the number of people that are creeped out by conditioner as I've gotten older.

Whoa.. wait wait wait.... How on earth is someone "creeped" out by conditioner???? I can't even wrap my head around that concept... are these all crazy people with tangly snarly hair?!??

Seriously, some people are whackjobs! :crazyq:

[Amara]

Ugh, I'm so sorry! Happy growing for your year of no trims! :)

[halo_tightens]

Whoa.. wait wait wait.... How on earth is someone "creeped" out by conditioner???? I can't even wrap my head around that concept... are these all crazy people with tangly snarly hair?!??

Seriously, some people are whackjobs! :crazyq:

Yep, a good friend of mine goes to the salon to get her hair trimmed and heavily re-colored every three or four weeks, flatirons it every day, and NEVER uses any conditioner, claiming that it makes her hair "too greasy."

If I did what she does, my hair would snarl into one solid mass of a hairball, I think!!! I don't know how she manages, but she does always look very trendy and polished.

[Bellona]

I'm so sorry that happened to you! I'm in the same boat. Some "trendy" place chopped my hair from almost waist length to collar bone length with tons of short layers and really bad bangs. It looks nothing like how I wanted it, and it's really hard to manage because my hair is wavy, thick, and has cowlicks. It's more of a style for people with straighter, finer hair. It happened two weeks ago, and I'm STILL mad about it! Anyway, at least we can start over and look forward to growth this winter!

[Spring]

I hope your hair grows back really fast. I remember a beautician secretly thinning my hair with razor scissors. I thought she was combing my hair, but it felt weird, and when I would turn around to look she would put something silver in her pocket. My hair was much thinner, but after about 9 months of trimming my own hair, I was on my way back to my normal hair thickness.

[Ruvie]

I would have some VERY choice words for that "stylist"! Their job is to give us what they want, but I suppose a lot of people are afraid of being rude and speaking up to the hair cutter. But hey, its YOUR hair and if someone even thought about hacking 4 inches off my hair, there would be heck to pay! If I want half an inch trimmed, that's what the stylist will give me.

[Flynn]

Forget the salon. Go to the barber.

Many hairdressers consider themselves les Artistes, and consider themselves to know far better than the customer what is right for the customer. *Eyeroll* Barbers, on the other hand, are master artisans. They will give you something beautiful, to your specifications. Particularly as we longhairs are going for "simple" and "traditional" cuts, rather than "fashion" cuts, a barber will and can do exactly what you're after.

My boyfriend put me on to this one: he has curly long hair, and the only times he's been (taken by his mother) to a salon, it came out as an absolute disaster. The barbers can not only handle long hair nicely, they can handle long, curly hair perfectly.

[halo_tightens]

Amen, Flynn!

I like your way of putting that. Many of the stylists I know are indeed more concerned with the latest trends than doing what the customer asks. They're the "experts," after all!

[Spring]

[quote=Flynn;734535]Forget the salon. Go to the barber. quote]

Great advice!! I will definitely keep this in mind if I let someone else trim my hair. Thanks Flynn:p

[jlpearce]

Yikes! That is terrible... I would at least complain to the owner/ manager.... even if your ends were damaged. she had no right to cut that much!!!!
Not to hi-jack this thread, but after reading how many trim/ cut horror stories there are out there, had anyone been to a beauty school for a trim?? I am wondering if they would be "safer" as they are really trying to listen/ learn/ please the customer??


I've been going to the Aveda Institute, both in D.C. and in Chicago, and I love them. They're very attentive, they listen to what I want and they go slowly, so I can at any point tell them that they've cut enough. They are really slow, though, so where a trim at a regular salon would take half an hour at most, I have to budget two hours at the Institute.

[Komodia]

i understand you, my hair was like this...

http://photos-a.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v2168/193/60/1130679682/n1130679682_343656_3466.jpg


and when i told a hairdresser to please get rid of some volume (have too much hair, and its curly... and it was cut straight) she cut it a lot and got like this...

http://photos-d.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs085.snc1/4587_90026138045_670758045_1783707_8029001_n.jpg



the weird thing is that it got more damaged AFTER cutting it than it was before.. well, now it's longer and soft, and i gave up on chemical dyes and am using henna. I know how my hair grows, in a year it will be waist lenght. i wonder if i'll resist until then or cut it before......

[Zindell]

I now have a short pixie again shorter than when I started growing!

So sorry that happened to you! *hug*

I gave up going to hairdressers about 5 years ago, and for the first time in my life my hair is actually growing longer! And it is much healthier than before.

Me and my DD14 trim each others hemlines now and then. :)

[misstwist]

I hope your hair grows back really fast. I remember a beautician secretly thinning my hair with razor scissors. I thought she was combing my hair, but it felt weird, and when I would turn around to look she would put something silver in her pocket. My hair was much thinner, but after about 9 months of trimming my own hair, I was on my way back to my normal hair thickness.

That's vile behavior.