What you wish you had known when you started.

[RancheroTheBee]

I was looking through my pictures today, and I realized I've been really trying to grow out my hair for about a year. The thing is, I didn't start making any progress until about March, when I realized that crunchy ends do not necessarily equal damage and I was cutting off close to an inch a month of healthy hair. *facepalm*

It's pretty negative thinking to remind myself that I could have been APL by now, but I really do wish someone had sent me to LHC a long long time ago!

Is there anything you wish you'd known when you first started growing out your hair?

[Heidi_234]

Same exact thing. I was sure crunchy velcro ends = damage and went to the hairdresser everytime I got them. It was upsetting to realize I could have just used regular shampoo on them and I'd be as good as new. To top it off, when I found a hair dresser who seemed to understand my gentle long-hair-aspiring soul, I believed her when she "advised" that I should come over and have my ends trimmed every 2 months, and so I did. :doh:
I can only comfort myself with the fact that there was alot of damage cut off in the process, damage that I don't have to deal with right now, and maybe that's good.
So yeah, I wish I knew I could cut my own hair, and I wish I knew I didn't have to when I thought I did. :nono:

[redcelticcurls]

It was my hair stylist who talked me into getting less frequent trims. I was getting trimmed at every other color. He said that if I wanted to grow it out, that he would check my ends and just trim what was needed at that point. So, I get few trims now. About one regular one once a year, and one teeny one when i get my blowout and he gets a different view of the ends.

I've given up blow drying this year, and I am getting far fewer splits even with coloring, so I should need a smaller trim next time I need one.

[Elainehali]

The first time I had long hair I would use box dyes to make it red.

I wish I had known about henna and its non-fading super red powers.

[Isilme]

YES! I agree, it's sad so many people think that henna is evil.


The first time I had long hair I would use box dyes to make it red.

I wish I had known about henna and its non-fading super red powers.

[LutraLutra]

That you don't have to get your hair cut every 6 weeks. If I'd had known that in 2007 when I started growing I'd be around APL now. :brickwall:

[Newniepg]

I wish I had known what my hair was actually like before trying to beat it into submission and be like I thought how my hair should look.

I also wish I had known about oil. :)

[Toadstool]

It was my hair stylist who talked me into getting less frequent trims. I was getting trimmed at every other color. He said that if I wanted to grow it out, that he would check my ends and just trim what was needed at that point. .

it was a hairdresser who told me that my crunchy ends weren't damage too!

[Fencai]

I wish I had known about henna years ago.
I started out changing my hair to red, and no matter what other color I tried, I always come back to red. It would have saved a lot of damage and hassle if it had been as permanent as henna!

[Natalia]

I really wish someone had told me about CO washing, that sillicone has many names and many hiding places, and that there are an abundance of eco-friendly and gentle herbal solutions. Ive learned so much here in LHC its hard to narrow it down!

Oh and i wish someone had told me how dye works and how hard it is to grow it out!

[Fiferstone]

I wish I had known about oil, and I wish I'd found henna sooner.

[Carolyn]

I wish I had known about oil too. It was a long time before I realized it was my friend.

The other thing I was I knew is I should have been enjoying each stage and length of growing out. I was so focused on gaining length. All I did was whine about it not being long enough. I didn't appreciate the various lengths and the good things as I went along. All I could see was this far away goal of waistlength and I couldn't see anything good about the shorter lengths. I wish I would have had more fun with my hair in the APL to mid back to BSL range.

[violetka]

I wish I knew that shampoos are too agressive and that i break my hair when brushing, that i must use conditioner, that i must dilute shampoo, go to nonsulfate. I believe that the tearing of my tangled hair is what caused the damage to my top layer

[RoseRedDead]

I wish I had known that my hair hates protein. I wish I had known to clarify before I started CO'ing (I had plenty of residual 'cones)... I'm sure I could think of more, but my brain is not functioning all that well right now.

[violetka]

very sorry,how does one delete

[violetka]

sorry, Rosedead how exactly does one clarify? just by using any sulfate shampoo and without using cond, or?

cause im abit confused on the clarification

[Belledandy]

I too, am late in coming to the oil party. I wish I had known about that instead of snipping away all my ends. I also wish I had understood that I didn't have to cut for a full hemline, then grow to length; that I could have protected the ends and waited for them to fill in. *Sigh* I'd be at classic and maybe beyond by now.

[redneckprincess]

I wish I knew that my "damaged" hair could have been fixed with a little TLC and SMT. I could be about BSL right now....I too found some old pics (from about 2003 or so {Im scanning them to put up} my hair was pretty long then...wish I would have left it alone back then...but I didnt and here I am today, You cant beat yourself up for not knowing in the past

[Toadstool]

sorry, Rosedead how exactly does one clarify? just by using any sulfate shampoo and without using cond, or?

cause im abit confused on the clarification

I think you use the sulphate shampoo and then you can use conditioner after if you want, but hopefully someone will correct me if I'm wrong :)

[nicolina]

Updos. I used to have long hair and only ever wore it down or in a ponytail. It looked boring, and got very very knotted. Now it grows without interruption, and I can ring the changes on buns and braids!

[pink.sara]

That protein on my hair is pure evil.
That my crunchy velcro ends didn't have to come off.
That oil is so much nicer than leave-in C.
That henna can be purple and go over my chemical colour without 'melting' my hair.

That I was such a big :cheese:er

[windinherhair]

I have been growing my hair out for almost the past 10 years. It *had* stayed about the same length over the past few years. I wish I would have known that I didn't *have* to cut my hair in order for it to grow out. It is just a myth, and I had been told before that my hair would grow faster if I kept it trimmed. It is really the only thing I could think of that could possibly be why it has stayed the same length for a while.

[Charentais]

Luckily I found this place at the same time I decided to grow it out!

(I think I found this place by reading Colorado Curly's and Pittsburgh Curly's blogs when I was learning about my waves/curls! So, thank you, bloggers!)

[redcelticcurls]

I wish I had known about oil too. It was a long time before I realized it was my friend.

The other thing I was I knew is I should have been enjoying each stage and length of growing out. I was so focused on gaining length. All I did was whine about it not being long enough. I didn't appreciate the various lengths and the good things as I went along. All I could see was this far away goal of waistlength and I couldn't see anything good about the shorter lengths. I wish I would have had more fun with my hair in the APL to mid back to BSL range.

Quoting because it bears repeating.

[Teacherbear]

I wish I knew that not everyone can use oils or protein.

I wish I knew that it is ok to let my hair dry and be scrunched while drying to achieve my best curls/waves. It feels messy to me and I want to "fix it", but I get more compliments if I leave it "messy".

I wish I knew that crunchy ends didn't necessarily mean I needed a trim/cut. It most likely meant that I needed to clarify and/or stop using protein and/or oils.

[Buddaphlyy]

I wish I'd known that I can't let my hair completely air dry when it's loose. I've probably lost more hair to breakage from that than any accidental cuttings or trims I gave myself.

I also wish I hard learned about adding honey to conditioners sooner. The moisturizing benefits are amazing for my hair.



sorry, Rosedead how exactly does one clarify? just by using any sulfate shampoo and without using cond, or?

cause im abit confused on the clarification

No, you have to use one specifically for clarifying/deep cleansing. And make sure you use a moisturizing conditioner afterward because your hair will be stripped afterward and you need to add the moisture back. Some people used baking soda rinses though.

[Phoenix81377]

I wish I had found this place before chopping my hair to my ears when it was mid-back length. I wrongly assumed that once I was past 30 long hair did not look professional. I wish I had known about all of these amazing updos and had the confidence to ignore a system that pushed me to conform to a societal norm. No matter, I have found you folks now and my hair will grow back. Thanks to all of you for sharing your journeys and helping me get comfortable again with the fact that I love my hair long.

[Roseate]

It was my hair stylist who talked me into getting less frequent trims.

Me three! The last time I grew my hair out I went to my hairdresser (who I saw every 2 months) and told him I wanted to grow it "really long" (by non LHC standards; I only meant waist), and he told me "Great! Now go away, and I don't want to see you for six months!". I've stayed on the twice-a-year trim schedule ever since, and it hasn't done me wrong.

I wish I had known how to treat my wurls when I had long hair last; that's my only regret. It's like I've never even had long wurly hair, just long, straightish, lumpy hair!

[redcelticcurls]

This one I need to keep reminding myself.

Just because it works for a bunch of other people does not mean it will work on me.

Oil on dry hair? Not a good thing for me.

Henna? Dry crunchy permanently protein feeling hair on me. Yuck, yuck and more yuck. Give me my Wella.

Homemade protein treatments? More crunchy yuck.

The updo that looks amazing on a 1 might be more trouble than it's worth for me.

SMTs never seem to be as good as DTs that I buy for myself.

I am constantly reminding myself not to follow each and every little thing just because 200 other people love it. We all have different hair.

[Shiva]

I wish I would've known how to deal with my hard/iron water 2 years ago... then I would've been able to keep my BSL/WL hair.

:(

[Dyan]

I wish that I had known years ago that I could safely use BAQ henna over chemically dyed hair. I'd seen women with henna'd hair, and I loved (absolutely loved) the results. But I was told that if I had chemically dyed hair (which I did) that henna would melt it or turn it green. That left me two options -- continue chemcial dyes or go natural. And since I liked my hair red, I had to stay chemically dyed.

But I had found out the truth before I started trying to grow and take care of my hair. In fact, it was the switch to henna that started the ball rolling for me. Now what do I wish that I knew once that ball was rolling?

I wish that I'd known that all I needed to do was toss out the shampoo and conditioner. All my hair needs is henna to cover the greys and the occassional ACV rinse, but that took me years and a lot of money to find out.

[Zéphine]

I wish I'd known years ago that my hair pretty much doesn't tangle if I keep it up and don't brush or comb it. Then again, it was kind of nice to learn styles on shorter hair. I didn't feel obligated to wear it up, so I could just do things with it for fun.

[loyaboya]

Some other curlies have mentioned these and I completely agree:

-Wish I had known how much I'd love a simple spray bottle! Now I spritz my hair before I oil- oiling dry hair doesn't do much for me.

- That its okay to have damp hair. I *do* have to be careful to let my scalp dry, but damp braided/bunned hair is not the horrible thing that I once thought. Learning this helped me realize that it's also better for me not to let my hair dry loose.

- My hair is not invincible. I used to think that because it was so thick, I couldn't really damage it. I believed this for years and I was so, so wrong. I need to be gentle my hair and protect it. Buns, scarves, and braids are my friends :)

[klcqtee]

1. I didn't have to cut my hair from just past BSL to chin due to damage. I could have let it grow, and slowly trimmed a few inches at a time.
2. My hair likes protein. "Hair Oils" sold in the store don't have nearly enough protein to actually help my hair.
3. I don't look good with short hair
4. No dye beats henna.
5. I shouldn't listen to what others say. I liked my henna red, not the chemical electric red.
6. My henna is red enough.

That pretty much sums up the worst of it.

[klcqtee]

(removing double post, sorry)

[Speckla]

I wish I'd known about the natural hair color options instead of box or salon color. My hair would be a lot longer and I wouldn't have had to cut off so much damage.

[Quixii]

When I was a kid, it was always a huge fight with me to brush my hair. There were at least three adults telling me very frequently that I had to brush it! I kept up my protesting as long as possible, saying things like, "But it takes the curls out!" and such. Finally I gave in.
While I should certainly have tried combing or only brushing in the shower or something, I still feel weird to know that I actually was right, and wasn't treating my hair its best. o,o

[Cinnamon Hair]

I wish I had known I didn't need to use shampoo every day. I love the CO method and now I only shampoo once a week. And to be gentle with my hair by combing carefully with a seamless comb. If I had known those two things I could have prevented a lot of damage.

[Bereft]

I too wishI'd known I didnt have to wash my hair every day. I didnt always use shampoo, but I did CO almost every day. I also wish I knew that crunchy ends werent damage, and I DIDNT have to get a trim every 2 months.

[Xandergrammy]

I wish I'd known that I'd end up wanting to grow out my natural colors. I never would have started coloring in the first place. Oh well. :shrug:

[Fireweed]

That for my hair type all that is needed is a good wood comb and a little oil. My hair looks and feels so much better. The idea to wear hair up in a bun at all times has really helped also.

[Xandergrammy]

When I was a kid, it was always a huge fight with me to brush my hair. There were at least three adults telling me very frequently that I had to brush it! I kept up my protesting as long as possible, saying things like, "But it takes the curls out!" and such. Finally I gave in.
While I should certainly have tried combing or only brushing in the shower or something, I still feel weird to know that I actually was right, and wasn't treating my hair its best. o,o


This is a little bit of a hijack, but a woman I work with just cut off all of her gorgeous ringlets because people in her life were constantly telling her she should brush her hair. She knew better, but couldn't but up with the negative comments, I guess. I tried to get her to come here. :sad

[julya]

I wish I had known about oil too. It was a long time before I realized it was my friend.

The other thing I was I knew is I should have been enjoying each stage and length of growing out. I was so focused on gaining length. All I did was whine about it not being long enough. I didn't appreciate the various lengths and the good things as I went along. All I could see was this far away goal of waistlength and I couldn't see anything good about the shorter lengths. I wish I would have had more fun with my hair in the APL to mid back to BSL range.

I agree! I don't think that I really appreciated the shorter lengths either, and they are totally fun to have!

[redneckprincess]

Good thread!! Yeah, I agree I wish I had found out about the oiling and AVG, but Im glad I did when I did!!

[RancheroTheBee]

:) Phew! Glad I'm not alone.

I got some more! I wish I'd known about protein/moisture balances, why brushing curly hair is SO VERY BAD, and clarifying.

I hope this is an educational thread for newbies. :grin:

[MemSahib]

I wish I had known good ol' run-of-the-mill Suave shampoo and conditioner makes my hair and scalp happier than all those spendy preparations.

[Rohele]

I wish I would have known what a long process growing out the dye would be. I briefly considered growing it out when I was maintaing a chin length cut, and now I wish I did. Ah well, at least I didn't get too far along before I decided to stop. :shrug:

[masterofmidgets]

I wish I had known how to wear it up. I didn't even learn how to do an English braid until it was waist-length, and because of all the mechanical damage from wearing it down so much, my ends are very thin. It's going to be awhile before I have as full a hemline as I want.

[melikai]

I wish that I had known how much better my hair would look natural and undyed. Now it will be at least a year before the dyed bits are all gone, and about 3 years + of growing it all out. *pout*

[Gigi1962]

What a great thread...:)


I think maybe I found this place just in time. One thing that I am having trouble with is the fact that hair really doesn't have to be cut every 6 - 8 weeks! :confused: I think this has been drummed into me for so many years, it is a hard habit to break. It has now been a month since I last got my hair trimmed, I am just going to see how long I can go without getting it cut. (It has grown so much in the last month and I am glad that I don't feel that I have to go and it cut again in a couple of weeks and thus end up losing most of that growth).

[SimplyLonghair]

Yes the cutting the hair every 4 to 6 weeks is what you do to keep hair short not grow it out. But the reasoning behind it is that same reasons that shampoo companies will tell you to us a dollop of shampoo and then rinse and repeat. They sell more.

Many hairstylists repeat what has been taught to them by their instructors. Not even realizing that it was not true! Trims help you to grow your hair! :shocked: The instructors knew that it was a ploy to get the person to return, but many students, didn't. I am glad to see that many have gained insight and are advising their customers that want to grow to trim much less. :happydance: There are many really dedicated hairstylists that do really care!:cheese:

[tommiefromva]

In the beginning of growing long hair, I had heard that your hair will grow faster if you trim the ends every 6 weeks. Well I had my last trim about 10 months ago and now my hair is finally showing some length at APL. Tommie

[LittleOrca]

I had wish I had known more about vitamins, hair oils, wearing it up, and that people would get on me later on about it. The last one would have been nice just so that I would be better prepared to deal with it.

[InTheCity]

The same thing as a lot of you - I wish I knew that I didn't have to get a trim every 6-8 weeks to "grow" my hair.

The good thing about it was that I started my real growing period with very healthy hair but I probably could have stopped the trimming phase 2 or 3 chopped inches earlier.

[willowcandra]

I wish I'd known about my hormone imbalance and not come off of hormonal bc pills for 8 months after reaching my goal of classic.

I wish I'd known how bad my ends would be after 7 years of chemical colours.

I wish I'd known about henna.

I grew my hair for four years to grow out my colour only then to remember I don't like my natural colour and then henna'd it.


I wish I'd known that lush brown henna on my bleached and dyed ends would turn green and set me back by a year!

I wish I had ignored dh's suggestion to get layers in 2003 and then have to grow them all out.

I wish I had known that it was better to have healthy ends than keep pushing for length. I am so much happier now that I cut off 7" of bad ends and I will get back to classic but very slowly with healthy blunt ands.

[JamieLeigh]

I wish I'd known better than to use a brush with the little plastic balls on the ends of the bristles. I was already past TB when I put that brush down. :(

[rapunzhell13]

I wish I had known more about henna. I've always been interested in it, but there's just so much misinformation out there. :justy:

I also wish I had known that it's okay to follow conventional hair care, such as regular supermarket shampoo and conditioner. I've pretty much gone back to my old routine of S&C every couple of days and my hair has never looked and felt better!

I wish I had known that hair doesn't have to be perfect. In fact, it will never be perfect. We can only do our best and that's enough.

I also wish I had known that not all of the popular hair toys will work for me, in fact none of the ones I've tried so far have. So I've stopped wasting my money and go with what I know does work- scrunchies! :D When I gain a lot more length I may or may not try some of the popular hair toys again, but they're not necessary like I once thought they were. I prefer to let my hair speak for itself!

[Sammybunny711]

I wish I had known that EVERYONE gets the desire to cut during the growing out process and that it is better to wait at least a MONTH before doing anything drastic, LOL.

[Monsterkitti]

I wish Id known about the nasty ingredients in some hair products and that slatering them on in an attempt to make it feel nice and improve it was actually making it worse and drying it out :/

I wish Id found oiling earlier, since LHC its been one of the best things ive done to my hair and I can only imagine how long my hair would be now if Id found it when I first started growing :/

[pixiedoo]

I so wished I'd have known about the wonders of henna and indigo!! I have been chemically dying my salt 'n' pepper hair now for over 10 years and only used henna and indigo for the first time this week. My hair looks so healthy and shiny, and i absolutely love the colour.

I also wish I'd have known that regular trims do not make your hair grow faster. Doh.....why did I believe that. Now I think about it I realise it doesn't really make sense lol :D

[Deimos]

I wish I had known to be more careful with my hair and to wear it up more often. That is the thing that made most difference for me.

[LawyerGirl]

I wish that I had known that when I cut my hair, it will get shorter... obvious, maybe... but sometimes easy to forget!

[MsBubbles]

I wish I'd have understood my hair growth patterns so I could hurry up and get to the point of ignoring it faster (which I'm now at!), instead of expecting the same 5/8" growth every month forever more :p. Some months it's 1/4", some it's 3/4".

That's not to say I'm totally serene at having been 26-27" for about 3 months!!:mad:

[Peregrine]

I wish I had known that it was the using too much shampoo instead of the not using enough shampoo that was drying out my hair. And that ripping out tangles was what was causing my thin ends.

[adiapalic]

I wish I had known that crunchy ends didn't mean "dead ends" like I heard so often. I also wish I knew about updo's, wide tooth combs, BBB's and hairsticks. :) Now I know!

[Chamomile betty]

I really wish I had quit coloring sooner. I have not done an all over root color for just over 2 years. I am so much happier with just a few highlights (like 10) in the front and letting my natural color grow in.
I spent many times cutting inches off because I thought I wanted to keep the color instead of letting it grow.

[SheaLynne]

I wish I had known there were others out here who *like* natural, healthy hair. I'm still having a hard time accepting that I can look beautiful in a way that is different from what most of our society thinks--but it sure helps to have a support group for those days when someone is saying you'd look better with more "style" (ie processing).

And there are plenty of other things I wish I had known (like how to use a stick for a bun...and Amish hair pins...LOVE them!!)

[dawnss]

I agree with you SheaLynne it is nice to know that not every person uses unconventional methods (not what hairstylists usually recommend, but the trend is somewhat changing) to care for their hair. I feel safe here!

[missfortune9335]

that my hair apparently hates cones. I had no idea! I didn't even know there was such a thing as cone/no cone conditioner before coming here. Today I shampooed my hair with a clarifying shampoo and used a cone free conditioner for the first time and it's like I have a totally different head of hair!

[EtherealOde]

What I wish most is that I had known about this group. It would have saved me a lot of anxiety and irritation with my hair and the products I used.

[Fractalsofhair]

I wish I had known about coconut oil, and EXACTLY how damaging a blowdryer is. Otherwise, I'd probably have BSL length hair now, since I actually needed to cut off the damage(Crumbling hair is one major exception to the 2 week rule, if the crumbling is occurring at less than 1 inch from the scalp and you have tried oiling and you're healthy overall!).

I also wish I had known about updos, that could have prevented a lot of the damage from happening in the first place.

[nmarie33]

I wish I'd known that WO washing and air-drying my curls was an option. And that it leaves my hair looking 100x better than the salon method I was trying to force on my poor head...wash every day with expensive shampoo, slop 5 different products on my head, blowfry to a crisp, and top it off with some good old straight ironing. They could always straighten it so nice in the salon, and then at home I could only make it look like a fuzzy piece of roadkill. And now who knows when I will get all that damage trimmed out of my hair!