Hair Compliment...or Not So Much?

[Islandgrrl]

Yesterday we had to go over to the mainland to do stuff.

So while we were there, we went to the most local mall for a walk and to get DH some much needed jeans. Walking along, I took my hair down because it was pulling funny, and fingercombed it. No biggie. As I was starting to put it back up, we stopped to look at something and a woman (mid 20s-ish with pretty hair, actually) came up and said these exact words to me:

"You have the most gorgeous hair! You should cut it!"

That was weird. But then she REACHED OUT TO TOUCH IT.

DH looked right at her and said, "You probably don't want to do that."

She looked a little shocked and wandered off when neither DH nor I offered her additional conversation.

Compliment? Or psycho creepy hairstylist zombie woman? :brains:

[natt i nord]

I don't get why you should cut it when your hair is gorgeous :hmm:

[Speckla]

Yes and no. I'd say thank you but I definitely would have asked, "why cut it?"

[Quixii]

I'll never understand why people do that, but it seems to be a very common "compliment" from friends and strangers.
Friends especially. "Oo, your hair is so pretty! You should cut it!" Excuse me? :(

[Lady Mary]

I will never understand that. If the hair is beautiful, why chop it off? So stupid...

While we're on the subject, anyone reaches out to touch my hair and they're going to pull back a stump. :patrol:

[hydrangea]

Bubble rule violation! Why do people think it is ok to touch someone they don't know? This also happens with pregnant bellies. I just don't understand why people can't keep their hands to themselves.

[patience]

That is just odd. :crazyq: I like how your hubby chimed in :)

[Amara]

Guess maybe she meant your texture/color... which she thought would be more complimented by a shorter cut?

Dunno... strange...

[Kiraela]

Amara's probably right as to what she meant, but it really is a very strange way to put it...

Your hair is gorgeous, you should(n't) cut it!

[spidermom]

I'd just take what you like ("beautiful hair") and leave the rest. I can understand how somebody might think that a beautiful thing could be made even better.

Call me socially retarded, but before I hung out here, I would never have imagined that it might be wrong to touch somebody else's hair. To me, it's not something private, like your breasts or your butt. But I get it now.

[Carolyn]

Good for your DH :thumbsup: I would have said something like "excuse me????? Cut it?" She was nothing but a rude moron. I don't understand why someone would walk up to a stranger and say something like that.

[marzipanthecat]

Nope, that incredibly odd statement has happened to me too.

"You like it and are impressed with it but think I should cut it? WHAT?" No, I still don't understand...

Just to repeat a story I have told here before (on other threads) - back when I was at school a girl said to me "If I had long hair like yours I'd get it cut so I could get extensions put in."

And no, it made no sense then or now. What I'm trying to say is that people can say some amazingly strange and stupid things.

[Darkhorse1]

It is a compliment. I think they see it and want to touch it to make sure it's real. I think they figure if you had it long, you may be thinking of cutting it--who knows. I wouldn't be put off. I think it's sweet. :D Though, I don't think I'd touch a stranger's hair. I was at a horse show last weekend, and a girl had the most stunning belt--it looked like wood etched with galloping horses, but it was leather. I wanted to touch it, so I asked her--'do you mind?" and she was like 'oh, no probs' as I'd NEVER touch something without asking.

Anyone who has ever touched my hair asked, and they were people I knew, so it didn't really matter. The only strangers who have touched my hair are wee little kids, and that makes me smile :)

[saskia_madding]

That's exactly it, Spidermom. It's the issue of what people view as public versus private domain. The sad truth is that lots of places on a woman's body are considered public to varying extents - touching, talking about it, and definitely staring.

[Monkey962]

That's like saying, "Your vintage Ferrari is stunning! You should scrap it."

[Belledandy]

I don't understand the cutting comment either, but those who have told me the same thing mean it about my ends (I have fairy tail ends.) At least she liked your hair? Touching without asking is a big no-no, but some people have small personal space and figure others do too. A friend of mine vacationing over seas took down her tb length red hair absentmindedly in public and ended up having perfect strangers go up and start petting her hair like a dog.

[AmyJorgensen]

I really don't like strangers touching, but I usually put up with it because I figure most of them just don't know any better.

[Sissy]

I have never understood this either. I would have been very tempted to ask her why I should cut it if it's beautiful!

Actually, I had this statement made to me by a co-worker once but it was because she works as a teacher for the hair dressing program and wanted me to donate my hair for locks of love or whatev. I kindly declined.

[Islandgrrl]

Honestly, I wasn't offended by what she said. What I was, was confused. It didn't make sense to me. I did, for the record, say thank you. I'm not a total social buffoon!! :) (just sometimes)

The touching thing, though, that kind of makes me uncomfortable. I mean, why exactly, would you presume to touch a stranger? I mean, without exigent circumstances? (yeah, in fact, I really talk like that). :bigeyes:

[Islandgrrl]

A friend of mine vacationing over seas took down her tb length red hair absentmindedly in public and ended up having perfect strangers go up and start petting her hair like a dog.

I used to have this happen to me, too. But here in the US. Nearly always Japanese tourists! But they were so sweet and polite about it - it never creeped me out. I posed for a LOT of hair pictures when I worked in Little Tokyo (Los Angeles).

[KiwiLiz]

Some times I wonder with comments like this if they really meant to say "Your hair is prettier than mine, you should cut it so I can be the prettiest". But it's probably something they say because they don't know what else to say, kinda like how people say "You're tall" to tall people.


I used to have this happen to me, too. But here in the US. Nearly always Japanese tourists! But they were so sweet and polite about it - it never creeped me out. I posed for a LOT of hair pictures when I worked in Little Tokyo (Los Angeles).

Lol, I had this experience with my sister when we were cute little blonde girls, we went to Movie World in Queensland and the Japanese tourists went nuts over us. They nice and polite, they asked our mum first if they could take pictures etc... but I didn't really understand what the heck was going on, so it was a little creepy.

[St.Germain]

I guess it's a compliment, but definitely a wierd one. I don't pretend to understand people. I know I have a problem with people touching my hair because I don't like people touching me. Also, because in high school, I would wear my hair in two waist-length braids, and my "friends" thought it okay, and great fun, to come up behind me in the hall and pull on one or both of them. Grr...

[The Drood]

Maybe to donate it so some poor kid can enjoy beautiful hair? Which if someone ever told me to cut my hair someone else could enjoy it, I'd reply: "But, I'm not done enjoying it yet...".

Anyway, not sure I made anymore sense than that crazy lady.

[neon-dream]

Maybe she meant the condition of your hair was gorgeous, and would look great in a new style? Who knows :hmm:
But, the touching the hair thing. That happens a lot to me, I don't let it bother me at all :). I see it as a compliment.

[truepeacenik]

I cannot make a thing out of the comment, but touching is odd.
I was touched by a crafter/ crafter employee at a ren faire and said, I don't appreciate anyone touching my hair without permission.
He stalked off, offended. Y'know, I didn't care.

[redneckprincess]

WOW!! good for him, by the way!! I would have probally asked her why should I cut it if its so beautiful? Jealosy probally I know some time back when my hair was much shorter I went to hang out with some friends who both had BSL or longer, I do remember in my jealous drunken state I told them both they should cut their hair.

[Susana]

I'd just take what you like ("beautiful hair") and leave the rest. I can understand how somebody might think that a beautiful thing could be made even better.

Call me socially retarded, but before I hung out here, I would never have imagined that it might be wrong to touch somebody else's hair. To me, it's not something private, like your breasts or your butt. But I get it now.

I totally agree with spidermom, she probably thought you have beautiful hair (compliment) but thought it would look more beautiful (perhaps bouncier and fuller) if it was shorter. I agree that my hair seemed to have more volume when it was short. I also never thought that touching someone's hair was rude at all. Now after I've been here I'll be more careful about that, seeing as I guess some people seem to dislike it. When people touch my hair I don't mind at all so long as they are not pulling it or something :)

[Ndnlady]

She sounds like a nitwit, like you know those people that don't know how to just think about what they are saying or doing before they say or do it?:shake: People like that annoy me, but you and your husband handled it pretty well I think, I especially like what your husband said!:)

[Euphony]

hahaha how very odd! I'm so curious what she meant by that. But hey it's a nice compliment that you deserve - just don't cut it, unless of course you ever want to (but I'd be sad :sad ).

[janiejones]

I wouldn't have been able to hide a slightly irritated/bemused look most likely. Or at least a raised eyebrow. But what I don't understand is why do people like to offer opinions on what to do with your hair, but they (most likely) wouldn't tell you their suggestions regarding your weight or randomly walking up to you and telling you that a different style of pants would flatter your body more....those would be considered rude....just something I thought about while reading this thread.

[JamieLeigh]

Wow. That is weird. It's like saying, "That's an awesome shirt! You should totally never wear that again!" :confused: Wtf?

[shadowclaw]

The comment was definitely strange and would make little sense if said to me, but I do understand the touching thing. People these days don't seem to understand the concept of personal space and think it's ok to touch what doesn't belong to them. I am also continually baffled when people from high school see me and give me a hug. I hardly spoke to most of them besides my friends, but when they see me they get all nostalgic or something and feel the need to embrace. So rather than seem rude, I just smile politely and give them their hug.

And speaking of Japanese tourists, once our class went on a trip to Elis Island, and one of the chaperones thought it would be cute if several of us made a human pyramid... the kind where everyone is kind of leaning on each other and our heads are the blocks for the pyramid, not the standing up kind. Well anyway, some Japanese tourists thought it was great and starting snapping away with their cameras.

[Anje]

Weird... I'm sure it was meant as a compliment in her mind, but how strange!

Like others, I'd be inclined to say something like "thank you, but if it's so beautiful, why should I get rid of it?"

[earthdancer]

Regarding the touching thing, I grew up in a family that didn't touch much, and my first husband's family was the same way. Then we became aquainted with a couple who was very huggy; the wife even said she thought there had to be something wrong with people who didn't want to be hugged (in reference to complete strangers hugging, no less)! I have since remarried into a huggy family, and I have also recently become acquainted with a branch of my family who hugs at every conceivable opportunity, a habit which my sister has picked up, and it seems really strange to me. I know I'm awkward at it, and as hard as I try, I can't do it naturally.

I've always been puzzled by strangers who want to reach out and hug me or touch my clothes, etc. How can such different social norms develop within the same area of the country, even the same community? You would think we were from different contintents!

BTW, the woman who said "What gorgeous hair, you should cut it" must not have a coherent thought in her head! The least she should have done was state her meaning more plainly. As it was, she just sounded moronic.:rolleyes:

[Islandgrrl]

hahaha how very odd! I'm so curious what she meant by that. But hey it's a nice compliment that you deserve - just don't cut it, unless of course you ever want to (but I'd be sad :sad ).

No worries there. Not cutting. :nono: