Growing out the grey - A mainstream article

[Johanna]

I was on my daily internet random link quest, and I've found a link about a woman who tried to go grey.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/beauty/article-1200785/The-day-I-dyed-Linda-Kelsey-confession-make-diary-going-grey.html

I figured some of you ladies would find it interesting to peruse through it. I think the woman would have looked lovely with longer grey hair. It would have looked very nice on her. I think longer grey hair gives some woman an artsy edge.

[spidermom]

As the silvery streaks in my hair become more and more abundant, I don't think the color could be improved upon. But to each her own decision.

[Toadstool]

I was surprised that I felt she looked MUCH younger with it grey.

[Calista]

I think the "washed out look" so many women complain about is the combination of coloured hair and grey roots. Once the roots have grown out enough that the face is completely surrounded by silver it looks much better.

My former BF used to have a moustache. We once encountered a kid whose grandfather also had a moustache, so he called my BF "granddad", because to him moustache=grandfather. We both found it very funny, but my BF would not have dreamt of shaving off his moustache for that reason. Just like I don´t think I would dye my hair because of something some random stranger on the tube said or did. :shrug:

[Neen]

I disagree with her closing remarks that it is a fact that "grey hair in women signifies a diminution of attractiveness".
Attractiveness is a highly subjective thing, for example, my partner finds my grey hair more attractive than when I dyed it because to him it signifies wisdom, because my hair is much healthier now, and because he's happy that I'm not hurting myself by putting dye on my scalp. It's a shame that the lady in this article does not have as supportive a partner.
Also, why should it signify a diminution of attractiveness in women but be considered distinguished in men? I recently had lunch with a previous manager of mine and when I asked her if she liked my grey hair, she replied "yes, it looks distinguished". So there you go, men arn't the only ones who look distinguished with grey hair.

[Madame J]

I like the reader comment that said she looked like Anne Bancroft, but now looked like Joan of Arc, which was also a "mumsy" look. Funny that Bancroft was about 35 when she made The Graduate and it's pretty well-accepted that Joan of Arc died by the age of 20.

[GlassEyes]

Eh. It's her right to choose what she wants. If she doesn't want to be gray, she doesn't want to be gray.

Doesn't mean others shouldn't be. I'd love to go gray (or more preferably, silver) right now. XD;

[Xandergrammy]

GlassEyes, I think you're onto something with your wording. This woman used "gray" to describe her hair color. My own hair is a mixture of white, silver, browns, a few reds, etc. and I think it's beautiful, which is really all that matters. I think men and women would be more accepting of their natural colors if they really LOOKED at all the lovely variations in color that grow in.

[Unofficial_Rose]

Shame she was so paranoid about being offered a seat. The young man might just have been ultra-polite and kind, and it might have had nothing to do with looking like an elderly lady. Which she doesn't, with or without the grey hair. :rolleyes: That is the trouble with ageing, it can make us insecure.

[Fireweed]

I thought she looked great going gray. It looks like she never went all the way before she caved and coloured. The hard part is right where she was in the process of grow out. She should have come here for support.

[csm--carla]

I was on my daily internet random link quest, and I've found a link about a woman who tried to go grey.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/beauty/article-1200785/The-day-I-dyed-Linda-Kelsey-confession-make-diary-going-grey.html

I figured some of you ladies would find it interesting to peruse through it. I think the woman would have looked lovely with longer grey hair. It would have looked very nice on her. I think longer grey hair gives some woman an artsy edge.


Thank you so much for sharing that article!!

I really enjoyed it and I'm passing it on.

Henna-ing 'til I'm 107!!:cheese::cheese::cheese:

Carla

[Xandergrammy]

Shame she was so paranoid about being offered a seat. The young man might just have been ultra-polite and kind, and it might have had nothing to do with looking like an elderly lady. Which she doesn't, with or without the grey hair. :rolleyes: That is the trouble with ageing, it can make us insecure.


I've always been grateful when someone offered me a seat anywhere, even when I was younger. :gabigrin:

[DMARTINEZ]

She should of at LEAST grown it out fully to form an opinion. Sheesh,so much for
determination. One little act from a stranger and boom,she dyes it back. Oh brother.

Deb

[SurprisingWoman]

I think she looks younger without the severe color. Oh well to each his own.

I use the verbiage gray when talking about my hair, but it isn't really gray. Spidermom was bang on with that.

Society says a lot of things. I ignore most of them.

[bellawave]

I wish she would have grown it out fully as well. When I was growing out my grey (which I have done several times now), the grow-out period always looked awful on me (and I'm no good with hats or scarves etc.) so I'd often give up during that point. Not too surprised that she did, therefore, but if she'd grown it out all the way she might have decided she liked it.

My hair is truly gray especially from a distance- the white blends with my original deep ash brown so it actually looks medium-dark gray. I love it. :) I get more compliments since I've grown it out, but I never get asked for ID in the liquor store any more, as I did when it was dyed. ;)

[ratgirldjh]

Society says a lot of things. I ignore most of them.

I love this! And I agree :D

[zzstarz13z05]

I think theres nothing more beautiful than long, silvery hair... I keep thinking of Ant Meg from twister!

[Silver & Gold]

I think what looks poor is not the grey hair but the combination of grey roots next to the dyed hair. I personally felt that when my grey roots were growing in that they looked dull next to my colored hair. But the more my silvery strands are allowed to grow the more dull my colored hair looks in comparison. And I have the most striking streaks at my temples that I think beat anything a colorist could do.

Yesterday I had my confirmation when a male friend told me that my decision to grow out my grey hair was one of the best things I could have done. He said, "Don't get me wrong, your blond hair was lovely, but those shimmering silver strands are striking and far more attention getting than my colored hair." It was nice to hear since I had committed to no longer coloring my hair no matter what.

To each his own, but I think if you really want to give your grey hair a go I'm not certain it's wise to judge how good it looks when you only have a couple inches of roots showing and a lot of colored hair. Nobody looks good with that look.

[Canarygirl]

I think if you really want to give your grey hair a go I'm not certain it's wise to judge how good it looks when you only have a couple inches of roots showing and a lot of colored hair. Nobody looks good with that look.

On this subject: My husband told a family friend (who is his hair-cutter), that I was growing out my grey hair. She instructed him to tell me that when my roots get to that awkward stage, I should come in and have her highlight it for me. I'm not exactly sure what she had in mind, but I've seen women with white accents in their hair that were obviously put there by colorists. For example there's a woman I know with a bi-level cut and the top level is dyed a very light ashy-white, and the underneath layer is almost black. It's a very striking look. So now that I know it's possible to have hair bleached to a white-ish look, I can choose to have a white highlights put in to help with the grow-out process. It makes me feel better to know I have this option because I've been stressing about the grow-out process for the last few years. (They don't call me 'the worry wart' for nuthin'!) ;)

[thankyousir74]

I didn't really enjoy this article. She really should have grown it all out. Also the idea that her friends were all opposed to the "grey devil" :rolleyes: I thought it was a little ridiculous. Then again I can't wait to have long grey hair.

[jojo]

Is it me or does the dyed version show more lines on her face?

She looked younger with the grey!

[KarpatiiSiv]

This woman used "gray" to describe her hair color. My own hair is a mixture of white, silver, browns, a few reds, etc. and I think it's beautiful, which is really all that matters. I think men and women would be more accepting of their natural colors if they really LOOKED at all the lovely variations in color that grow in.

This is how I feel as well. My hair is also a mix of colours including white and silver and I'm very happy to let it continue to grow that way.

I thought the dyed hair made her look older it seemed to drain her skin colour.

[Lilla My]

What a shame - it sounded like she really buckled under the social pressure. People make such a fuss about women with grey hair, trying to frighten us into covering it, it makes me think we must be really terrifying when we let the silvers out to play. What power! :D

[ktani]

I think that the article is great, one woman's personal journey about going grey, which is all the series was meant to be. To me, it is honest.

I think it is about personal choice and what suits the individual. I have read and I do believe, that as we age our skin tones lighten a bit. And that women should in most cases dye their hair (if they are going to) a lighter shade than their previous hair colour to going grey, as they age.

It makes sense then that for some people, not all, grey hair can make them look "washed out." I have seen people who dye their hair their previous to going grey colour, and it can look harsh against the skin tone they have now.

It is like a debate on whether someone should have long hair. I love my hair long. It is me. But I stain my grey/white with catnip to cover it and that is my preference. There should not be a debate over these things. Just acceptance of personal freedom and the enjoyment of healthy hair, regardless of colour or length. If one is secure in their choices, what others think does not affect them. And one can always change one's mind about their hair colour. That is how I see it.

[Chrissy]

With this in mind when you are going gray and you have longer or long hair don't you have a demarcation line? How does it ever look normal unless you cut? I've been wondering this for awhile. I am seeing a few silvers in my hair. It's kind of hard to see them at times because my hair is a lighter color.

[Calista]

Chrissy, that is one reason why I decided to quit hennaing as soon as I saw my first silvers appear. Two-toned hair is just not one of my preferred looks. :scared:

[Xandergrammy]

Is it me or does the dyed version show more lines on her face?

She looked younger with the grey!




I totally agree, jojo. I think the grey softened her face somehow.

I love that picture of you and your dad.

[Xandergrammy]

With this in mind when you are going gray and you have longer or long hair don't you have a demarcation line? How does it ever look normal unless you cut? I've been wondering this for awhile. I am seeing a few silvers in my hair. It's kind of hard to see them at times because my hair is a lighter color.


One of the reasons I stopped coloring when I did was so that the transition wouldn't be too drastic. I knew most of my whites were around my face. Three years out, I don't think my hair looks too bad, but I have some skewed ideas as to what "normal" is. (At work, we like to define "normal" as a setting on a washing machine :gabigrin: )

[Xandergrammy]

What a shame - it sounded like she really buckled under the social pressure. People make such a fuss about women with grey hair, trying to frighten us into covering it, it makes me think we must be really terrifying when we let the silvers out to play. What power! :D



:rollin: I love this and I think you're on to something. AND I think it terrifies women who have sworn to never let a gray hair show. They look at us and realize that that's what THEY look like under the chemical dyes. What I just don't understand is why more people don't see the beauty of it. It's very strange to me.

[ColoradoDreamer]

To me, there is nothing that ages a woman more than covering up beautiful silver! I had a great aunt who would have had a lovely headful of snow white hair, but she dyed it dark brown to the day she died, in her 80's. It looked so fake.

I don't know, but I think that the silver in my hair sort of softens my appearance. It certainly makes for low maintenance hair, which I'm all for!

To each her own, I suppose, but I prefer not to dye mine. Chemicals are too damaging, and I just can't sit still long enough to do henna and indigo or even LUSH henna. Bleah.

[Juanita]

Me I think it's a confidence thing.

[ktani]

Me I think it's a confidence thing.

It can also be a "competitive edge" idea in today's job market.

[Silver & Gold]

With this in mind when you are going gray and you have longer or long hair don't you have a demarcation line? How does it ever look normal unless you cut? I've been wondering this for awhile. I am seeing a few silvers in my hair. It's kind of hard to see them at times because my hair is a lighter color.

The demarkation line is something I struggled with. Oddly enough the line between silver and colored hair was not my biggest issue, the color gradually faded out because I used semi-permanent hair color. The demarkation issues I have are with my hair that wasn't silver yet. When I used the semi-permanent it stripped some of my natural color leaving me with a more golden tone than my hair normally has. So I had a line between the darker, more ash roots and the golden processed hair.

I faded my line somewhat by highlighting selected strands at the crown as my hair grew out. I did it until the demarkation line was soft enough that you couldn't really detect a strong line. Still, when I bring the ends to the roots you can see a marked difference.

So the only choices you have are to cut it all off when it reaches a certain length, to blend as it grows (which can take years depending on your tolerance for the difference in coloring) or to do like Xandergrammy and just bite the bullet and let it grow and let the line show. I've done a combination of what Xandergrammy is doing and a bit of blending. I would love to cut off all the colored bits but it would leave my hair way too short and I'm unwilling to go through that awful growing out stage. So I imagine that once I get my hair to a length that makes me happy, I'll just trim until the colored bits are all gone. I've resolved that I'm years away from virgin hair but . . . patience . . . I just have to have lots and lots of patience.

[Juanita]

Interesting thought.

[Fairlight63]

I quit dying my hair when I was 62, I am 64 now) because I think that older ladies look better with hair that is not dyed.
I looked around at the older ladies that had dyed hair & it did not look healthy -their hair was kind of dull and lifeless & kind of weird colors. So I decided to let mine go grey & grow it long. I think that older ladies with long grey hair done up in updo's look elegant.

[SurprisingWoman]

I let my hair grow out because:

a. the difference in condition between the colored hair and the gray was major
b. the $$$ and time it took was getting to be overwhelming
c. my husband is gray and thinning on top, why is it okay for men but not women

My daughter got married when my hair was 50/50. There was a major difference between the gray and the color but she was a sweetie and didn't want me to color it and have to start all over again. I had heard about using low lights to make the difference less obvious but I figured it was her day, not mine, and didn't even worry about it.

I did cut my hair all off at shoulder length to get the color off because I didn't care for the two tone look on me.

I am glad I did it.

[Naluin]

I wish the author had stuck with her own opinion on the subject of her own grey hair and not made such a broad generalization as "no question that grey hair in women signifies a diminution of attractiveness."

Why do we, as a society, seem to think that women are only beautiful when young? Women don't come with expiry dates like dairy products!

I'm going to cut off my rant here, but suffice it to say, some people look stunning with grey hair and there is nothing inherently bad about going grey. :grumble:

[Xandergrammy]

Why do we, as a society, seem to think that women are only beautiful when young? Women don't come with expiry dates like dairy products!

I'm going to cut off my rant here, but suffice it to say, some people look stunning with grey hair and there is nothing inherently bad about going grey. :grumble:







I can think of several women on this board who are drop dead gorgeous with silver/white/gray hair. I get very frustrated that no body in my real world seems to think it's possible. :sad

[LutraLutra]

I can think of several women on this board who are drop dead gorgeous with silver/white/gray hair. I get very frustrated that no body in my real world seems to think it's possible. :sad
They are out there, but they're few and far between.

Yesterday I saw an older woman with the most beautiful APL to BSL hair that was champagne white, shiny and wonderful. She looked amazing.

And one of my hair icons who I sometimes deal with at work is an very elegant, s*xy looking woman in her late 40s with snow white, thick, healthy, 1a APL hair who wouldn't look anywhere near as interesting and glamorous if she dyed.

[Naluin]

I can think of several women on this board who are drop dead gorgeous with silver/white/gray hair. I get very frustrated that no body in my real world seems to think it's possible. :sad

There was an awesome article about women with silver hair in New York Times Magazine, I think it was, about 3 years ago. I actually bleached and dyed my hair silver/grey/blue after reading it. I would have loved to do pure white or pure silver, but my hair wouldn't bleach that light.

One man at a diner I frequent actually complimented me on my "brave" choice of hair color. I guess not a lot of 20-somethings are in a rush to go grey!

[Canarygirl]

I faded my line somewhat by highlighting selected strands at the crown as my hair grew out. I did it until the demarkation line was soft enough that you couldn't really detect a strong line.


This is what I had in mind when I made my earlier post about highlighting.

Which process do you all think would be more effective in softening the demarcation line in brown hair that has 50% silver-colored roots -- highlighting or low-lighting?


There was an awesome article about women with silver hair in New York Times Magazine, I think it was, about 3 years ago. I actually bleached and dyed my hair silver/grey/blue after reading it. I would have loved to do pure white or pure silver, but my hair wouldn't bleach that light.


Naluin, I have a few questions about this because you did what I'm thinking about doing. I'll send those to you in a pm....

[Silver & Gold]

This is what I had in mind when I made my earlier post about highlighting.

Which process do you all think would be more effective in softening the demarcation line in brown hair that has 50% silver-colored roots -- highlighting or low-lighting?

I think the answer to this question depends somewhat on what kind of color you used in the past and how close it matches to your natural haircolor, etc. What I liked the best was to just continue using the same thing I had used to color my hair in the first place. I would purchase a highlighting cap from a beauty supply store and pull through strands all around at first, then apply the coloring (I generally didn't use all the coloring but measured a portion of it in equal proportions to the correct amount of developer.) Then I applied it the the root area first (just as you would a refreshing color application) and then move it to the ends when I was getting toward the end of the developing time. I used semi-permanent hair color since the coloring on my hair was semi-permanent. Then the next time I did a touch up I wouldn't pull as many strands through the cap as the previous time, etc.

I initially went to a beautician to get a regular job of highlighting done with foils. But she fried my hair - they never believe me when I tell them that my hair develops really fast. So I just decided to handle it myself at home. I reasoned that I could mess up my hair just as easily and for less money. The last time I decided to color my hair to blend the demarkation line was last October. I think it took me doing it every 2-4 months for about a year before it got to the point that I could just ignore the color change and let it go. If you go to my profile page you can see a fairly recent picture. If you look closely you can see that the hair from the crown to about the brow line is virgin and from there it fades into my colored hair. But it blends well enough to satisfy me. However I'm not a big fan of the 'peacock' hairstyle on me because the ends look very nearly orange next to my roots. So I generally make sure to tuck my ends in when I do updos now.

[Zindell]

She had a softer look with the whites...
now when it's dyed again it looks harsh and cold to me...

[Fireweed]

I have never knowen anyone who has lost a job for going gray. Could someone send me a news link on it please.

[Flynn]

She had a softer look with the whites...
now when it's dyed again it looks harsh and cold to me...

That really dark brown doesn't work for her, hey... Maybe twenty years ago, but not now... TT^TT

[ktani]

I do not think anyone has lost a job over grey hair but some people may not be hired over it.

On another note entirely, "Grey hair may be protecting us from cancer (http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg20227135.000-grey-hair-may-be-protecting-us-from-cancer.html?DCMP=OTC-rss)"

[Silver & Gold]

I do not think anyone has lost a job over grey hair but some people may not be hired over it.

On another note entirely, "Grey hair may be protecting us from cancer (http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg20227135.000-grey-hair-may-be-protecting-us-from-cancer.html?DCMP=OTC-rss)"

Yay! Does this mean that I'll likely never die of cancer at my temples? :cheese:

[jojo]

I totally agree, jojo. I think the grey softened her face somehow.

I love that picture of you and your dad.
thanks Leni, i love the photo too. I have had it enlarged and its frmaed on my wall, also put a smaller one in with Dad when we burried him xxxxx

[ktani]

Yay! Does this mean that I'll likely never die of cancer at my temples? :cheese:

Possibly, lol. It is the suggestion.

[Fireweed]

I think that people look thier age weather they colour thier hair or not. If you are not given a job because of the colour of your hair then it is just as not fair as if you were not given the job due to the colour of your skin. If you were not given the job because of your age it is still just as bad and we need to stand up to these sorts of things.

[heatherdazy]

I think there's an age where just slapping some color all over your grey looks tacky and phony. She should at least have incorporated some of her grey with some brunette lowlights.

[Elenna]

It takes years, years to grow out hair dye and let the natural grey color show.

Meanwhile, the media, society, friends and family all tell me to dye it back to brown. I'm getting grumpy getting all of these unsolicited comments.

It is tough to grow out grey and so easy to run to a hair salon for redying the hair.

I know what my hair looks like now (part grey and part dyed brown) but one day I'll be a silver fox.

[Ice~Cold~Wind]

I didn't really enjoy this article. She really should have grown it all out. Also the idea that her friends were all opposed to the "grey devil" :rolleyes: I thought it was a little ridiculous. Then again I can't wait to have long grey hair.

I completely agree. Society seems to have a taboo when it comes to greying hair. I also cannot wait to have long silver hair!:D:D:D

[Ice~Cold~Wind]

It takes years, years to grow out hair dye and let the natural grey color show.

Meanwhile, the media, society, friends and family all tell me to dye it back to brown. I'm getting grumpy getting all of these unsolicited comments.

It is tough to grow out grey and so easy to run to a hair salon for redying the hair.

I know what my hair looks like now (part grey and part dyed brown) but one day I'll be a silver fox.

:)Keep holdin' on! It'll probably be worth it!

[kmouse43]

I thought she looked better and younger with the gray. The all brunette was harsher on her complexion.

[Ice~Cold~Wind]

Grey hair is gorgeous, depending how well you take care of it of course. I've seen older women with amazing grey hair, even long grey hair!:D

[intothemist1999]

I"m not sure of those pics because the lighting is quite different in each, and her makeup is different, too. I agree, any lines she has look softer in the undyed photo.

Salt-n-pepper is my favourite look so I'm keen to get there myself. Long, grey hair is beautiful, I think!

However, I recently used a temp colour to add a reddish tint to my dark hair, I'm not concerned with covering grey. I always make a point of NOT applied to the temples where the greatest concentration of greys is. This stuff covered the rest of the grey surprisingly well, though.

One thing I noticed is how much sleeker my hair looked. This was due to the more uniform colour. With the individual greys throughout, it was looking a bit ragged. I never really thought of it before to figure out *why* I always felt I looked rather unkempt, but that is apparently part of it! Granted, I do can a fairly good job of looking unkempt anyway :D

So now I'm wondering about some sort of colour till my hair is ALL grey. Many years ago I fancied going lighter and lighter over the years till I was blond, and then shift into grey. At the same time I'm curious to see how my hair will progress naturally.

Like the lady in that article I have fair skin and dark hair and I think dyed dark hair on an older person can be aging. I don't want to go for that look. Either a gradual shift *might* be the way to go, or doing a more deliberate application of light hair like Canarygirl mentioned is an option?

Maybe a coffee rinse to soften the contrast? I dunno...again I don't care if it's grey, it's the contrast thet was making me look so disheveled, and I only care about that for work.

Long grey hair rocks! :)

[pradabacon]

I know what my hair looks like now (part grey and part dyed brown) but one day I'll be a silver fox.

Yeah, baby! Silver fox! I love it! :cheese:

I adore my silver hairs and I'm looking forward to being all silver like my dad some day.

Gee, that guy might have been offering her a seat just because she was a woman. I don't think I would have jumped to the conclusion that he did it because he thought she looked 'old'. Some guys have been trained to be that way all their lives. My husband is so funny, running to open doors and pull out chairs for me (and all women)...it's just the way he was raised.

[Unofficial_Rose]

If only more of us did it, it would become an acceptable "look".

And if enough good-looking people do it, it will be a covetable/enviable look to more people.

It seems really sad to me that the mainstream opinion is that grey hair is "wrong" and should be dyed.

[Amara]

Mainstream is just silly. :p Gray hair is so lovely - like all other natural hair colors! :) I have yet to get a gray hair... but I will love it when it comes.

[Ice~Cold~Wind]

If only more of us did it, it would become an acceptable "look".

And if enough good-looking people do it, it will be a covetable/enviable look to more people.

It seems really sad to me that the mainstream opinion is that grey hair is "wrong" and should be dyed.

The fear of aging is alive and well. I doubt women are going to accept their natural beauty anytime soon. Sad but true.:shrug: