I need help (big text an pics inside)

[Centifolia]

(Sorry for my bad English, I'm trying to express myself correctly, but I know I have some difficulties, so fell free to correct me. )

Hi, I'm sixteen and I'm from Portugal. First of all I want to share some parts of the story of my hair in order to all of you can understand why it looks so badly.

Since I can remember, I always wanted a helthy long hair. When I was about 13 years old, I had an acceptable hair that was layered and past the armpit length. Then, I started stressing a lot, having some problems and the way I found to unwind was to cut my own hair without folowing any rules or tips. It wasn't a good solution: my hair was getting worse and worse and I was very depressed. Fortunately, I've stop with that.

My alimentation was pretty bad, without any nutricional care, and it didn't help my hair growing. On the other hand, on the end of the last year, I felt really fat and ugly, so I began a diet. Well, I became anorexic (95 pounds; >165cm), but now I can say that I am (almost) healed, even though I've damaged my hair a lot. Nowadays, I eat in a really healthy way and I take an hair and nails suplement (called Nutricap).

Now, the pics: (dont't get scared d: )

http://img525.imageshack.us/img525/479/frentew.jpg
All of my hair in front of my shoulders. (without/with flash)

http://img146.imageshack.us/img146/3332/tras.jpg
All of my hair in my back. (without/with flash)

http://img146.imageshack.us/img146/719/ladosz.jpg
Right/Left Side

http://img31.imageshack.us/img31/1324/raizes.jpg
My roots

http://img525.imageshack.us/img525/5449/pontas.jpg
My bleached-by-the-sun ends :c (full of cones)


My final goal is a healthy beautiful hiplength hair. I know I need to cut a lot of hair, but it is so difficult to me now. I'm thinking of get rid of damage slowly. In the space of a year I want to cut about until the line:

http://img146.imageshack.us/img146/7154/corte.jpg


I will do this: http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=44
but I need to find a good cleasing shampoo... I'm also thinking of going no-poo and no cones, but I don't know if I should or not (my hair is also a litlle oily), neither the conditioners I could buy in Portugal...

I just know that I do need help! I'm tired of how awful my hair is. Any tips, ideas, coments, any help will be welcome. tia (:

[Amara]

First, let me say your waves/curls and the deep brown color of your hair are SO lovely. :)

You say your hair is a little oily, mine is too, and I didn't care for conditioner-only washes. What I really like is shampoo bars from Chagrin Valley - a store online. They are gentle, and cleansing.

[Akiko]

Hi Centifolia. Your hair is gorgeous. I love your color and curls. I don't understand why you think it's so bad! If you like more blunt hemline, I might trim little by little. But to me, it looks great now.

Maybe you can read articles (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=category&categoryid=2) under hair care and see some basic info. I found them quite helpful.

What's good for your hair is something you need to experiment and see how you feel. I went though herb washing, henna/indigo, no cone conditioner, etc., etc. Well I ended up finding I do like regular SLS shampoo and conditioner with cones. Diluting shampoo before using seems to work great for me. Also what works now might change later.

The best thing was quit heat styling and blow drying.

I hope and pray your continue to eat healthy foods. Healthy diet is the most important and best hair care! :)

[myotislucifugus]

I'm glad to hear you got help for your anorexia. To be honest, your hair doesn't look really awful. It looks more like it is layered, and that is why the ends look stringy. I think smaller trims to "blunt" the ends will help it look thicker. When I was growing out my layers, removing the longest layer at 3-4 month intervals helped me feel I was making it healthier looking without losing too much length.
I'd suggest oiling and deep conditioning treatments to help with overall health. And since you have really pretty curls/waves, you might want to try a wide tooth comb instead of a hair brush, to help maintain their shape.
What kind of shampoo/conditioner do you use now? I don't know what is available in Portugal, but there are a number of reviews on this website of different brands/products, and any of them are worth checking out.

Don't worry, it will grow, just focus on healing, and it will get better.

[Heidi_234]

Your hair doesn't look half as bad as mine did when I had eating disorder problem, cheer up! At some point I weighted about 85 pounds being more or less the same height as you are. I lost third of my hair to that, and it still bothers me too much to look at pictures from that time. I'm glad to hear you're over it now. If you plan to grow it long and healthy, are off with a very good start! :flower:
Here, now, my hair regained all the lost thickness almost completely. I really hope you find some comfort in my post. You should stick around, read up the threads on the boards, catch up with what people find helpful and working, and start experimenting some until you find what works for you. From now on, it's only getting better. And your does look lovely to begin with. :flower:

[gmdiaz]

Sounds like you just need to focus on being relaxed and happy!

Your hair is so effected by long term negative emotions and stress. Being anorexic and all the stress that goes with that way of being, totally shows up in your hair. Your body doesn't think you're hair is the most important priority and is busy taking care of critical needs.

You've already got really pretty hair! Just imagine how beautiful it will be when you give your body what it needs to BE beautiful. Since your on the mend, it's just going to take time.

I wouldn't make any cuts. . .I'd work on the nutrition and health from the inside out. In the meantime, maybe buy a new hair toy and keep your hair up when you're feeling down about it.

Also, I take Nutricap too! I really do like that product. I love it that it doesn't TASTE & SMELL awful like my other really good hair vitamin, NC Ultra Nourish-Hair.

I am loving the Morocco Method shampoos but they're expensive and may be hard for you to get. But these are really great for hair loss and thinning.

My second choice are the Aubrey Organic shampoos and conditioners. I would go organic and cone free.

And treat your hair like fine lace. . .your hair will be a mane of glory before you know it!

[melikai]

I definitely agree with what has already been said here - your hair looks quite nice. As you can probably tell, everybody has different things that do and don't work for their hair, and in my opinion it is best to just take things slowly and give your scalp and hair time to adjust to each new change in your routine. Maybe you could start with CWC, or try to find some coconut or other light oil to nourish your length as you grow it? I would personally recommend trying no-cones too.
As for trimming, maybe start off with a 2-3 inch trim on the longest layers, and do regular S&D's on the rest. Then you could do smaller trims regularly to slowly make the hemline less layered (if that is what you want).
Best of luck!

[LisaB234]

Your hair is lovely! The waves - wow! It sounds like you are very critical - but remember, that's not what everyone sees. I'm so glad you got help for your eating disorder. The most important thing is to take care of yourself and be healthy. As you learn new ways to take care of your hair you'll become more confident - it will just take some experimentation to find out what your hair likes - have fun with it. Hope to see you around the boards!

[Centifolia]

ohh Amara, thank you
The first time I heard talk about shampoo bars was in this forum, and I'm gonna search a litlle about. And I've loved the fact that there are some vegan recipes. (:

Akiko, I think that my hair looks so fragile... and yes, i want a defined hemline, but thanks anyway! I will follow your advice of experimenting to find what works for me, and no more blow drying until now!

myotislucifugus, what i want is exactly that: growing out my layers, have a heathier looking. Thanks for the advices, I think that I already have a wide tooth comb in my house.^^ i have been using a lot of different brands, such as Fructis L'Oreal, Pantene, Herbal Essencis, a random Schwarzkopf, some shampos of Home Instituit, a baby shampoo (I stoped because I've heard that it is too alcaline), a conditioner of Natur Vital... but I know at least a hair shop in my city, I can search something there or in another places. I will read those reviews and articles.

Heidi_234, it's nice to talk with someone that in some way understand what i've gone through... I know that I'm not 100% healed, but since I've realized how I look, I found out that my health is more beautiful than my bones. I lost a lot of the volume, strength of my hair and my self-esteem and I'm trying to recover.Thanks a lot by your words. (:

gmdiaz, I'm trying to be happy, and it feels really good! I put a lot of hope in my hair, and I know I need to be patient and dedicated. Thank you for the advices and your kindness. I will search for these products and the idea of the new toy isn't bad at all! I just have a banana clip and some simple hair pins... and I saw some cheap and interesting ones in a store. I will go there again! (;

ohh melikai, thanks anyway. Yes, I want a defined hemline... and I will try what you told me. c:

LisaB234, yes, I know I am a little perfectionist in almost everything... Well, I think this will be a good new hobbie, I will be dedicated and all of this will do me good. Thanks for your words!


A question: What kind of scissor for trimming should I ask for in a hair shop?

[longhairedfairy]

It really does not look bad. I think you just lack confidence.:)

Maybe you need more moisture on the ends to help protect them and occasional trims to help thicken the hem. Other than that, I would just recommend treating it very gently. Here is what I would do:

-Never scrub your hair when you wash it (only massage the scalp gently with a very small amount of shampoo)
-Avoid washing the length (a scalp wash is usually all you need)
-Use plenty of conditioner
-Never brush wet hair
-Never yank through tangles (if you have a knot untangle it gently with your fingers)
-Never scrub hair with a towel to dry it
-Avoid using heat (curling iron, straightening iron, hair dryer)
-A small amount of oil applied to the length (not the scalp) will help protect it
-Wear hair in a braid when you sleep to help prevent tangles

[Coriander]

Welcome to the boards :)

I also went through eating disorders which had an awful effect on my hair. I'm happy to know that you got treatment.

Your hair is lovely. I like the waves and you have beautiful color! :flower:

[jojo]

Your hair is beautiful and may I say, your English is excellent, much better than my Portugese, which incidently I speak none of!

[longhairedfairy]

Your hair is beautiful and may I say, your English is excellent, much better than my Portugese, which incidently I speak none of!
Ditto what she said!:lol:

[Centifolia]

longhairedfairy, I will take your advices, Thanks^^
Coriander an Jojo, thank you too
ahah, my english skills aren't that good (mainly in speaking though), but I'm trying to improve, and the forum is surely a good way.

I'm been reading this forum all day, and I'm learning a lot and as I see photos of the hair of all of you, I get more and more excited. It's so inspiring to see how beautiful and lovely the hair can be!

Well, after an online research, I found a store in my city that sells some biologic products. Is has the Aubrey Organic and the Faith in Nature brand, and I will go there to bought a shampoo and a conditioner and begin my experimentations, aiee!

[brok3nwings]

Centifolia OLÁ!

Im from Portugal too (a bit wierd to reply in english..but anyway). Im really glad to find another Country related here. you are the second and the first guy doesnt seam to come here very often (but he has accomplished a very beautiful hair!)

Im sorry for what you have been through .. but im glad that you are so much better now. I agree with others, your hair looks much nicer then what you discribed! And you seam to have a thick hair with beautiful waves. Must add i had my moments too of cutting my own hair and doing many stupid things to it.. i was one year older then you are now. ;) (And yes, from time to time i still do some stupid things to it!)

LHC has helped me a lot, as most of the information we get from hairdressers is "colour, cut...". I understand the pain it can be to find "natural" products here... we have "celeiro" but personally i dont like any of the products they sell there. If you want to try going no-cones you can buy on-line Rita C .. she sells Aubrey Organics (that i love..honeysuckle is the best for me). Its a portuguese company that only sells online, if you dont have credit card you can pay when recieving the pack (that is great for me cause i cant use creditcard). You also have Kiehl´s, they have some great products and one of my favourits is the Coconut Mask that is supposed to stay in your hair for one hour (many of their products have a bit of cones and that one is one i know it hasnt...). You can have oily scalp but have dry ends so always give a good moisture to your ends!

If you want to try coconut oil (you will read a lot about that here) you can find it on "Terra Pura" you just ask for it and they will tell you where it is.

Welcome! :)
Feel free to ask anything

[brok3nwings]

Centifolia sorry i didnt read your last reply but where is that store? I havent found any and one that i thought they had didnt exist anymore..
If they dont have any, try Rita C, they deliever very quickly...like 2/3 days max ;)

[free_hug]

Hey Centifolia, glad to hear you're better - and i have to second (third, etc.th) the others, you do have lovely hair, despite all the damage you described! Good starting point :)

May i offer you some non-native-speaker solidarity... though i totally feel like your English is way better than mine, so it'd feel a little awkward :D

Plus, i loved how longhairedfairy just summed up the nice & careful treatment of hair, LHC way :) Lots of good advide in one short post!

[ilovelonghair]

I just want to say: don't cut it! Your hair looks nice and I bet that with a little extra care it will look even better and will grow in thicker.

[Renbirde]

Hello! Nice to have you. :)

I don't have too much to add to what is already posted... but have you heard of the Curly Girl meathod of caring for curly hair? There is a guide here (http://dormroomcurly.blogspot.com/2008/12/style-definitions-table.html), and here (http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/showthread.php?t=47609)are some pictures from ladies who've tried it.

Have fun! Best of luck in your hair journey.

[longhairedfairy]

Plus, i loved how longhairedfairy just summed up the nice & careful treatment of hair, LHC way :) Lots of good advide in one short post!
Thank you!:D I've learned a lot from the other members here!

[Centifolia]

Sorry for disappearing this way, but I had problems visualising some websites (I saw all the images changed by anothers, etc), today I've reinstalled the browser, and here am I. (:

Since I started in this journey I've cutted 4cm of my hair, but (although I'm not measuring it) it seems to be growing really faster.

brok3nwings, I was talking about BioSabores, but I found that they don't sell Aubrey Organics... Some days go, I tried EssenciALL (Vila do Conde) and I bought the Aubrey Organics honeysuckle conditioner ;D and a Urtekram shampoo (I know that it actually have SLS's but I think it should be more gentle because it isn't one of the first ingredients of the list). This Thursday I've used both, and I don't need washing it yet! It seems as if my hair isn't oily anymore. My hair got more volume *.* (i was ALWAYS searching ways of get volume), but I feel it a little dry. I will dilute the shampoo and let the conditioner more time in my hair (I just left it for about a minute). I'm trying some oils in my ends, but I didn't find the coconut oil yet.

Thanks for all the tips and support. *hug*
I'm loving this community. b: