The story of my hair's decline (can you help?)

[Nolita]

Ok, so I am at my wit's end! I used to love my hair. It has always been a pain in the butt (thick and frizzy), but I used to be able to get it looking decent by keeping it in a bun while it was drying, not brushing it, not blowdrying etc. However, my hair has taken a turn for the worse in the past year or so. It's now dull, coarse, porous, and very very frizzy. It has a strawlike texture. Keeping it in a bun doesn't do much. My hair has also become noticeably wavier.

I suspect that my hair has become damaged from a) occasional flat-ironing and b) using certain nasty styling products over a long period of time (i.e. cones, alcohol).


Observe my hair's decline:

http://img189.imageshack.us/i/thennow1.jpg/
Then and now (after wearing my hair in loose braids overnight)
http://img189.imageshack.us/img189/9554/thennow1.jpg
http://img188.imageshack.us/i/thennow3.jpg/
Then and now (on a typical day)
http://img188.imageshack.us/img188/9271/thennow3.jpg

Then and now (after straightening)
http://img81.imageshack.us/i/thennow2.jpg/

I have just started using coconut oil on my wet hair. It has helped a little. I now shampoo only once a week and have put away my flat iron for good. My hair is still very DRY. What else can I do? Can you recommend any good deep-conditioners without proteins, silicones, or bad sulfates?


(Sidenote: These are the ingredients of my current conditioner. Is there anything in here that could be aggravating my hair? Is Cetearyl alcohol bad?)

Water; Glycerin; Cetearyl Alcohol; Cyclopentasiloxane; Behentrimonium Chloride; Dimethiconol; Amodimethicone; Benzophenone-4; Ethylhexyl Methoxycinnamate; Tocopheryl Acetate; Retinyl Palmitate; Magnesium Ascorbyl Phosphate; Punica Granatum Extract (Pomegranate Extract); Prunus Domestica Fruit Extract (Plum Extract); PEG-14M; Trideceth-12; Cetrimonium Chloride; Propylene Glycol; Lecithin; Alcohol; Methylchloroisothiazolinone; Methylisothiazolinone; Fragrance; Caramel; Red 4; Red 33

[Shorty89]

Hm... I don't think your hair looks that bad personally. That said, your conditioner does have cones, so you could try cone free conditioners. Or, try a SMT. I usually oil when I come out of the shower. If you do that and then damp bun for a long time it can make your hair softer and less dry. Also, try S&D for split ends, and getting it dusted every once in a while.

[Isilme]

could it be buildup? you conditioner is shock full of cones, nothing wrong with cones, but not everyone can keep using them without clarifying. Try clarifying and a nice deep treatment. Tigi bedhead moisture maniac is a good conditioner without cones, it does contain some proteins I think, but apart from that, really thick and moisturizing without being overly heavy.
You could also try a vinegar rinse (tiny part vinegar and lots of water) to rinse away product residue after washing. Closes the cuticile:)

[Smokie]

Hrm... Do you live in a dry climate? I noticed that glycerin is the second ingredient in your conditioner, meaning there's a lot of it in there. Glycerin is a humectant. So if you live in a dry climate it could actually be sucking the moisture out of your hair. Humectants basically try to balance the moisture levels of what they're put on with the air around it. So if they air is dry, it's going to pull moisture from your hair. If it's humid, it will put moisture in your hair.

Does your shampoo contain sulfates? If not, your hair may need to be clarified.

You also mentioned that you think cones have damaged your hair. Perhaps it's time to give cone-free a try? Shorty89 already noted the cones in your conditioner (Dimethiconol and Amodimethicone definitely. I think I see a couple others in there too).

My hair hated oils while I was still using cones. Made for a frizzy mess. Once I clarified and ditched the cones my hair started to feel softer and my frizz virtually disappeared.

Perhaps try clarifying followed by a nice deep conditioning treatment? You could do an SMT or simply oil heavily. My hair's somewhat sensitive to proteins but it doesn't seem to have a problem with a couple egg yolks mixed with honey, oil, conditioner, and aloe.

Do you use any other products or just shampoo and conditioner?

That's all I can think of at the moment. Hope it helps.