View Full Version : Feeling frustrated...

April 11th, 2008, 10:22 AM
Hey everyone!
For a while now I have tried a few different deep treatments. I have read alot of posts here and gotten some great advice :D!!! I have tried oliveoil treatment, coconut oil, SMT, cassia treatment. I have also tried CO for a week (maybe not long enough to see if my hair cares for it or not), I have also used sulphate shampoo to get rid of buildup.

With every new thing I try my hair seem to like it..but after a while (if I keep on doing it a while) it still gets dry ends and the shine kinda fades away.

And I donīt really know if my hair likes cones or not. I have gone cone free for a while, and used cones to see the difference...but donīt really notice anything.

Donīt get me wrong - my hair does look better after I joined LHC and changed how I take care of my hair. But it it is just so frustrating not to really know what my hair likes. I even document my different treatments, the schampoo/conditioner I use, and try to keep each thing for a while to see how my hair likes it...STILL my ends end up looking and feeling dry..feels like it doesnīt matter what I try! I try to stretch out between my washes, and not to over do any treatments so it gets heavy!Just a bit frustrating. Maybe I just need a bit of positive attitude and patience! Patience is not my strong side :rolleyes:!!!!

I read how it seems to work for so many and they really find what their hair likes...In the beginning (maybe you remember me posting)..I was like WOW my hair really feels and looks different after the deep treatments..but it is like my hair is dry by nature and I am back at where I started. I donīt think I have buildup cause I use sulphate shampoo when I feel some.

Maybe I should just keep trying..one thing at a time...and keep reading and get advice :)!!! Just a bit frustrating...and I have PMS now :rolleyes:..so maybe I am not really intouch with my true feelings....:(!

Thank you all for lissening to my whining...:blossom:
Big hug to you ALL!

April 11th, 2008, 10:43 AM
Emme I have had the same problem, it used to drive me mad but now I just accept that my hair needs different things at different times. I haven't been able to work out what it needs and when so I just swap my routine about, sometimes I have good hair days and sometimes bad but whatever I don't worry about it anymore. As far as pms goes, when I am due the dreaded monthly I have bad hair days period :rolleyes:
Try and enjoy the days when your hair is good and just :shrug: at the bad ones :blossom: .
Just to add, your hair looks absolutely fine to me :)

April 11th, 2008, 10:50 AM
When I try to stretch out washings my ends always get dry. I have to at least condition every other day or so.

April 11th, 2008, 10:53 AM
Thank you Kate46 - yes, I think it is more the PMS talking than me :rolleyes:!!! I have very good hair days and very BAD once...
I just would love to find something that my hair would love....and for my hair to stick with it...lol...

The pics are taken on very good hair days...I will post some bad hair days pic also.....:)...
Otherwise I think I am fooling everyone..hehehehhe...
Bad hair pic on the way...hehehheheh


April 11th, 2008, 11:06 AM
Ok, I have just looked at the pictures of your hair and here is my assessment. Please take it with a grain of salt.

Your hair looks very healthy and shiny in all of your pictures. You also described your hair as fine and it does look like mine in texture.

Perhaps you really don't need to do too much to it for it to grow healthy. Since your hair looks shiny and healthy maybe all it needs is time to grow. I know you said you have dry ends though.

When I first started here I too tried everything. I still am. I bought coconut oil yesterday and I love it but not for my hair. My hair needs very little as far as conditioner or softener. It gets weighed down too much. Maybe your hair needs nothing but kindness and time.

When I came to LHC my hair wasn't half as nice as yours is now. Mine was very dry and it was henna that made my hair stronger. Maybe a cassia gloss or if you want to go red a henna gloss. Henna is permanent so don't go there unless you research the heck out of it to make sure it is for you.

As you said, trying one thing at a time is a great way to really know what exactly is working for you. I think trying something for more that a week is good too but it depends on how many times you wash. Of course some products you just know are not going to work right away.

Welcome to the boards...:flowers:

April 11th, 2008, 11:25 AM
Yes, I agree with you morningstar...and missy60!!!!
Maybe it is true that I donīt need to do that much to keep it that healthy. But I did take some new "bad hairday" pic as you can see below..hehehh...Maybe tehre you can see the dry parts more. I guess it is how the ends "feel"...and since I have had damaged hair all my life maybe I still think of it as very damaged and unhealthy. When I look at my pic I think..It does look ok"..but when I look in the mirrow I donīt like at all what I see. Maybe it is an over all confident and feeling happy with your looks thing,....and not so much about the hair.

But I think having bad PMS doesnīt ad to the happy feeling combined with a bad hair day..heheheh...lol..
But I should be happy it is only PMS and hair and not something worse!!!

Thank you all for your support.....

April 11th, 2008, 11:42 AM
I joined LHC in January with chronic dry ends and only now has it started to show signs of improvement in that area! It is finally beginning to look and feel more sleek, soft, silky - how I always imagined hair ought to be but mine never was.

It really just took a long time for things to start changing in a noticable way.

When I started oiling, for example, I thought it was pointless because as soon as I washed again the ends would go back to being dry, and even with the oil on they felt kind of weird. So I thought maybe my hair didn't like oiling or was simply unaffected by it. Same with going no-cones. And CO. But I kept at all of them, tried subtle changes in routine, and little by little I've been finding a routine that works. Little by little. Perhaps you're just expecting too much too soon. :) Keep treating your hair and pampering it. Keep things as simple as possible. When I do too much at once my hair rebels. I know it can be frustrating but try to think in terms of long-term results rather than instantaneous ones. I think with hair care you probably do need to be patient unless you are one of the lucky ones with near-perfect hair from the start. ;)

And yes, your hair does look lovely anyway!
But I understand that we notice things about our own hair that others don't. Perfectionism ;) Just keep going! Your hair will thank you for it and reward you with time, for sure!

April 11th, 2008, 12:43 PM
Thank you Faepirate! What you describe is just how I feel. I will take yours (and other posts) advice. I will keep going and I am sure I will find a routine that will work for me. Not giving up is a challange but since I have LHC I am sure I will keep on the right track :)!! I think I have very low patience with myself...
I also think I need to wear my hair up more...and to "forget" about it for a while. I have been given that advice in other threads...maybe it is time to lissen..heheh..Maybe I will go shopping this weekend for some fun clips :D!!!

I will try to keep it simple...one thing at a time...No stress!!! And NO CUT! This is about the time I would get frustrated and cut it. BUT not this time. My only worry is that since I have thin hair I worry it will look bad on top...??!! I sometimes feel like I can see my scalp more than I should. BUT my hair that is growing out is lighter so mybe I feel like it is showing more. And since I started taking my hair vitamines I notice it grows faster.....Yea!!!!

By the way...Faepirate...your hair looks amazing..:)!!!


April 11th, 2008, 01:14 PM
Oh dear, there's nothing like PMS to make you hate your hair! How do I know this? Hmmmm. :silly"

I agree with some others. Your hair may need different things at different times. Try to keep your ends oiled between washings, and do try one thing at a time, so you know what works and what doesn't. It took me a good while to get a good routine down, and now I'm just on auto-pilot.

I also think that one week is not enough to know whether your hair likes CO or not. For me, that, and learning not to comb my hair when it's wet are the two biggest positive changes I made for my hair.

Worry not; you'll get a routine down before you know it. Just don't try too many things at once, or you won't know which thing it is that's working and which is not.

I wish you and your hair all the best. :flowers:

April 11th, 2008, 01:20 PM
My ends are rather dry from repeated dyeing in the past. What has really worked for me is a daily leave in (Giovanni's Direct Leave-In to be precise...I LOVE that stuff) followed by either jojoba or coconut oil. Also, cutting out the use of a blow dryer, and CO washes have helped tremendously.

You hair looks very healthy and shiny in your photos, so it looks like you're already doing a great job taking care of it. :)

April 11th, 2008, 01:41 PM
Yes, it has been a big change for me since joining LHC...and like you say cutting out the blowdryer is a BIG start..I do use it once a week...but that is a big cut back from almost every day...lol...And I use a wide comb and a boar bristle brush if I brush at all...
I just think I need to wear my hair up more. Starting tomorrow...! But I have a big dinner in the evening and dancing competition next day....these are the days I do use the blowdryer....hummm..not so good...But I am trying to use rollors..and only cold air..or very very low heat.

I just did another treatment...cassia with ALOT of conditioner...Donīt know if this is something many do???
But I donīt think my hair ever felt this soft :D...I did put the cassia into dry hair....then after a while i put in alot of conditioner...left it is for another 20 minutes....then wash and co again. It is still very fluffy..I like.

I also got a new shampoo and conditioner. Dove Proage. It doesnīt have any silicone in it, but maybe silk protein...maybe that is just as bad...:rolleyes:!!! But my hair seems to like it....

By the way..FannyG - I love your haircolor!!!!! Looks great!

One babystep at a time...:)

April 11th, 2008, 03:58 PM
I just did another treatment...cassia with ALOT of conditioner...Donīt know if this is something many do???
But I donīt think my hair ever felt this soft :D...I did put the cassia into dry hair....then after a while i put in alot of conditioner...left it is for another 20 minutes....then wash and co again. It is still very fluffy..I like.

I also got a new shampoo and conditioner. Dove Proage. It doesnīt have any silicone in it, but maybe silk protein...maybe that is just as bad...:rolleyes:!!! But my hair seems to like it....

Funny, I just came back to add a couple of things. One was cassia (which you are already doing;)) and the other was cones. My hair is fine and pretty thin and it absolutely hates cones. Makes my hair stringy and the ends, while they look nice, dry out much worse than they do with anything else I've ever used on my hair. And protein, in moderation works well on my hair also.