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lambhair
July 5th, 2009, 03:16 PM
Yesterday we were over at inlaw's house for a cookout and swimming. After swimming for a bit, I got out and sat in a chair to unbraid my TBL+ hair so that it could dry faster....I had done that and in order to be comfy, I hung my hair over the back of the chair I was sitting on. MIL comes along and playfully tugs/pets my hair and says, "I could help you with that, let me go get some scissors and cut about half of that off.." I said, "oh no way! I'm trying to see how long it will grow!" to which she replied-"EWW!! Well at least its thin, so it isn't hard to handle..."
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
End of rant.
I don't go around trying to tell other people what to do with THEIR hair, what is it about people feeling the need to tell those with long hair what to do or giving their opinions on it?
Sorry, I know this has been covered a lot in here but this is one of the first times someone in my own family has been so outward in regards to my hair.
thanks for listening!

Amara
July 5th, 2009, 03:18 PM
"Eeeeeeew"!? How rude! If she thinks it would be "ewwwwww" to have her own hair that long, fine, but it's not cool that she said it about YOUR hair. Rude rude rude!!!

rose_in_bloom
July 5th, 2009, 03:20 PM
Oh my gosh! That was incredibly rude. :( I'm so sorry that happened. Some people....:rolleyes:

enfys
July 5th, 2009, 03:26 PM
This is where people need to learn what an "inside voice" is. I can't imagine what it's like to be spoken to like that by family. Thankfully mine know I'd hit the roof so any thoughts are kept to themselves unless it's concern that I'll catch a cold by leaving my hair to dry naturally.

I hope she does'nt talk like that again to you.

Kiraela
July 5th, 2009, 03:26 PM
That was completely uncalled for! What is it about hair that makes people think they can comment so freely? I've never heard of anyone saying 'oh, your breasts are too big! Let me got get a knife and I'll help you with that!"

ChatoyantLocks
July 5th, 2009, 03:29 PM
Wow! How incredibly rude of her! And the number of different ways in which she managed to be rude was astounding! Insults long hair in general, and your hair personally, touches your hair without asking and threatens to cut it off. Feel free to rant as much as you need to! I'd be extremely angry in your situation! :mad:

tigerlily896
July 5th, 2009, 03:30 PM
Wow that was really rude. I swear, it really get me sometimes how some people just say the most stupidest and insensitive things.
Sounds like she needs to either learn some manners, or the filter between her brain and mouth needs to be cleaned. :mad:

noelgirl
July 5th, 2009, 03:30 PM
That was really rude of her, I'm sorry that happened. Some people have a sensitivity chip missing, and it sounds like she's one of them.

lambhair
July 5th, 2009, 03:40 PM
Thanks for your support and kind words! I am very secure with my hair and the process of letting it growand normally this kind of comment coming from a stranger would not have bothered me I take excellent care of it and it is healthy, clean, and shiny. I was just shocked speechless by her comment which, even if she was kidding-even a teeny bit, was in poor taste. Next time she says anything to me about it, I will be prepared and stand my ground!

Dementia1013
July 5th, 2009, 03:43 PM
Oh my gosh! That is so uncalled for. I'm sorry that happened to you! She's probablly just Jealous! :D

slz
July 5th, 2009, 04:23 PM
I can fully understand the rudeness and the feeling you got from being told such stupid things as my MIL is about the same - she can tell me "you should cut you hair, it's too long, really" like 4 times in a single evening, it gets old very fast, moreover as I try to keep my mouth shut so as to avoid any useless argument. So yeah, I feel for you.

wackyredtangles
July 5th, 2009, 04:26 PM
I just wanted to tell you that your hair is gorgeous. Its my dream color. Every once in awhile I think of coloring it that color, then I chicken out.

lyria
July 5th, 2009, 04:33 PM
:bigeyes:I am sometimes shocked how comfortable people are being rude. It would be one thing to say something like, "You would look pretty with short hair" which is just clumsy but not necessarily an attempt to insult somone, but "eww" is NEVER appropriate. :smack:I say send you MIL to finishing school ASAP!

By the way, judging from your avatar, I think you have lovely hair!

Natalia
July 5th, 2009, 04:41 PM
Ugh i would have tossed said MIL into the pool so she would need you and all that hair to pull her out rapunzel style :p!

RoseRedDead
July 5th, 2009, 04:42 PM
I don't think she's "jealous" (wrong word, btw, it's envy we're thinking of), I just think she was being unfeeling and rude. Maybe not on purpose - she probably didn't think about what she said.

Sorry, lambhair. :(

hennaphile
July 5th, 2009, 04:50 PM
WOW. That's incredibly innapropriate.

She offered you a haircut, maybe you should offer a lobotomy.

Sheesh.

thankyousir74
July 5th, 2009, 04:55 PM
Wow, that was definitely uncalled for. I would have been so angry on so many levels! Way to not explode, too! :grouphug:

Addy
July 5th, 2009, 04:57 PM
I'd say... Okay, as long as you let me shave your head first! :D

I could see my MIL saying that to me in a few years. :rolleyes:

Sorry you had to hear it! It's just terrible that others have to push their values on another person. I mean, how would she like it if you went up to her and said, OMG! Your roots are showing! Your teeth are rotten! Your boobies are saggy! You got ugly spider veins! Look at your big butt! You should do this that or the other!!! I could tell ya she probly wouldn't like it. Maybe she oughta get a taste of her own medicine. :D

Autumnberry
July 5th, 2009, 05:04 PM
Fortunately, many people do realize how rude those comments are and would never do this! I think it's an abomination when people get judgemental about other's hair. It's the epitomy of narrow-mindedness. They are embarrassing themselves, and yet they almost can't help themself out of a deep need to lash out at something unexplainable. And, here at LHC, we can enjoy your long, beautiful hair. By the way, I absolutely drool over the color in your avatar/signature. I can imagine how pretty your hennaed hair must have looked in the sun and flowing next to the blue pool.

nowxisxforever
July 5th, 2009, 05:04 PM
WOW. That's incredibly innapropriate.

She offered you a haircut, maybe you should offer a lobotomy.

Sheesh.

Agreed! Sheesh. I'd have responded in kind with some nasty comment about overprocessed short hair, which hers may well not be, but probably is if that's her views on long hair!

I showed my long hair to my ex-step-dad's wife at a barbeque last weekend and she was enthusiastic about it and my hair isn't even in NEARLY as good of condition as yours, honey.

GreyLadyBast
July 5th, 2009, 05:06 PM
Wow, that's horribly rude! Stuff like this makes me hope the unconscious Untouchable Ice Queen vibes I'm told I put out, that prevented random strangers from trying to touch my belly when I was pregnant but also keeps men from asking me out, will further prevent rude people from making dumb comments or randomly touching my hair!

I'm sorry you had to deal with that. Some people sorely lack manners, and others think they don't need to use the manners they have with family.

Bast

Fifty-Five
July 5th, 2009, 07:12 PM
People are bound to say stuff like that. I say stuff like that (jokingly, of course) to friends of mine. I just find it funny that she thought you had it that long 'cause...what? You needed help? You were hoping she'd come along and save you? =P Most people, when their hair gets that long, did so intentionally, and if they get it cut, I imagine it's not going to be on some whim because their MIL remembered she had scissors. xD

Jemoiselle
July 5th, 2009, 09:58 PM
Sigh, that is so wrong! Just goes to show how insensitive even our closest of relatives can be at times to our feelings. Next time I think you owe it to her to say something honest and well thought out back to her, as you did say you would. Or better yet, talk to her about it the next opportunity you get, privately and tastefully of course.

Over the years, I have learned to just take a deep breath, hold my shoulders high and jump off that old cliff called sticking up for yourself right away every time! It sure beats kicking yourself later as you rehearse over and over again in your head everything you could have or should have said. You might be shocked at how fast, elequent and gently this task gets accomplished after it becomes a part of you.

My heart goes out to you! Keep your head up, and that gorgeous mane shining ;)

noelgirl
July 5th, 2009, 09:59 PM
People are bound to say stuff like that. I say stuff like that (jokingly, of course) to friends of mine. I just find it funny that she thought you had it that long 'cause...what? You needed help? You were hoping she'd come along and save you? =P Most people, when their hair gets that long, did so intentionally, and if they get it cut, I imagine it's not going to be on some whim because their MIL remembered she had scissors. xD

That is so true! I'm so annoyed by comments that seem to imply that I'm some kind of feral child who just hasn't heard of this haircut thing. Why yes, I have, I've just decided to pass on them for the time being ;)

Kylis
July 6th, 2009, 12:50 AM
That would really bother me aswell. I just don't know how to respond to something like that.
I know it is not the same subject at all, but kind of shows how MIL can interfere. Well, mine said to me and my husband after we had our first baby, when I said about something, maybe a dress that was already too little for our child, no problem, I just keep it for our next baby - and she kind of stared at me and rolled her eyes and said, nooo way, please don't have any more children (we just had our first! ) I already have all the grandkids I want! I was really shocked and did not know what to say to that. She is not my mother and she really doesn't affect me but it is just strange what people can say to their own family....

lambhair
July 6th, 2009, 07:02 AM
Everyone: thank you so much for your words of encouragement and support, and for your kind words about my hair.
My MIL has hair that is about APL, dark brown with blonde highlights...she seems to take good care of it and I always see it tied back. I am just clueless as to why she felt the urge to say that to me but as I said, next time I'll respond with something other than a dumbfounded look.
Funny thing is, all three of her daughters have "long-ish" hair by current standards (at least mid back one of them bleaches the heck out of hers regularly; the middle sister has the most gorgeous thick dark chocolate/carmel brown hair that falls in the prettiest natural ringlets. Bet she never says anything to them about their hair!
Anyway, I feel so much better now, thank you all again-this place is wonderful!

Xandergrammy
July 6th, 2009, 07:05 AM
I'm so sorry you had to experience this. Tonight I am making a badge to wear that says "I LIKE my hair this way". I've been getting way too much unsolicited "advice" lately and it's really starting to tick me off. :taz: :mad: :justy:

Xandergrammy
July 6th, 2009, 07:07 AM
I know it is not the same subject at all, but kind of shows how MIL can interfere. Well, mine said to me and my husband after we had our first baby, when I said about something, maybe a dress that was already too little for our child, no problem, I just keep it for our next baby - and she kind of stared at me and rolled her eyes and said, nooo way, please don't have any more children (we just had our first! ) I already have all the grandkids I want! I was really shocked and did not know what to say to that. She is not my mother and she really doesn't affect me but it is just strange what people can say to their own family....



My first MIL, when presented with her first and only blood grandbaby, said "He's not my first, I have 5 other step grandbabies." I understand her love for the first babies, but my DH was really hurt by her aloofness.