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Lexibeth
July 3rd, 2009, 02:50 PM
Have you ever had random people touch your hair?

Where I work, we are surrounded by each other in half cubicles (which is better than a regular cubicle!). Everyday I have at least one person randomly touch my hair...usually followed by some kind of off handed compliment.

Now normally I have no issue with this...but if I don't know you and you don't know me....why are you touching me? Somedays it irritates me...other days, it doesn't bother me at all.

Does anyone else deal with random people touching your hair?

Starr
July 3rd, 2009, 03:06 PM
I'm not a fan of strangers touching me without my permission. . . it's just too intrusive and those wandering hands are usually met with a death stare. If it's people I know I don't mind at all.

Speckla
July 3rd, 2009, 03:15 PM
I.hate.it.

Quixii
July 3rd, 2009, 03:24 PM
I don't usually have random people touching my hair, but sometimes friends will do it. For some reason I've always had issues with people playing with my hair, even my own mother, unless I've asked them to, so I get kinda annoyed. I usually try to let them, unless I'm in a bad mood already, because in a way, it's like an unspoken compliment.

AuntyClaus
July 3rd, 2009, 03:46 PM
I'm not too upset about it; then again, I haven't had anybody yank on my hair past grade school or get freaky/obnoxious about it.

One winter evening, I was riding the bus home and the setting sun slanted in and lit up my hair. Evening sunlight makes it shine like copper wire. I felt the very gentlest touch down the back of my hair, and nervous giggles from the two 8-yr-old boys in the seat behind mine. :)

RoseRedDead
July 3rd, 2009, 03:50 PM
Only a couple of times does/has this happened... I wear my hair up a lot when I'm around people other than my family, so I don't really get any touches. I don't like them, even though I tend to laugh them off. It bothers me to be touched by people I don't know/don't care for... unless I initiate it first.

Oddly enough, a close friend of mine's nickname is Random, and I don't mind him touching my hair. :P

longhairedfairy
July 3rd, 2009, 03:53 PM
I've seen a lot of people here say this happens to them frequently. The lack of manners is kind of appalling. Why would anyone grab hold of a stranger? Why would they do it without permission, even to someone they know? When anyone wants to touch my hair they usually ask politely first.:shrug:

Bene
July 3rd, 2009, 03:54 PM
i don't like strangers touching me in general, i keep my hair up anyway and this helps avoid this altogether. i'm not a violent person but i WILL SMACK THE S*** out of the stranger who dares to stick their grimy fingers in my hair.

Xandergrammy
July 3rd, 2009, 04:08 PM
I don't think I've ever had a stranger touch my hair. Some people at work touch it gently if they happen to run into me on wash day. My favorite is an 89 year old friend who touches my hair with an attitude of reverence and awe. I like that. :gabigrin:

Natalia
July 3rd, 2009, 04:29 PM
It annoys me no end! Its one thing id its my nephews or something im cool with them touching or playing with my hair, they even like to comb it sometimes :). But unless your under 5 years old and related to me its a no-go. I dont like to be touched period and my hair is at the top of the anoying heirarchy. Thats probably becasue ive had way to many people touch/yank/rip through it with a brush. I dont know im weird about getting touched but i like to give hugs and be affectionate with friends and family people :shrug: . On the other hand i used to love when my ex would bruh my hair over my shoulder....:D

Tap Dancer
July 3rd, 2009, 04:35 PM
i don't like strangers touching me in general, i keep my hair up anyway and this helps avoid this altogether. i'm not a violent person but i WILL SMACK THE S*** out of the stranger who dares to stick their grimy fingers in my hair.

I've never had it happen, but I would react the same way. I don't like it when a stranger stands too close to me. I wouldn't put up with one actually touching me. :mad:

Angela_Rose
July 3rd, 2009, 06:28 PM
Oh, I *hate* this. There's an older lady in my office who was absolutely obsessive about touching my hair, and one day I finally snapped. I had done a French braid with a white ribbon in it. Carol came up behind me, grabbed hold of the ribbon, and *yanked.* I turned around fast and, in a low growly voice, told her in no uncertain terms that she was *never* to touch my hair again.

A few weeks ago, I was afterhours at a ren faire and this girl (who has waist-length hair that is in *terrible* condition) came up behind me and grabbed the end of my ponytail, tugging to get my attention. I whipped around and before I could stop myself, I had a hand around her throat. Woops. I get defensive.
...I don't think she'll be touching my hair again.

longhairedfairy
July 3rd, 2009, 06:32 PM
A few weeks ago, I was afterhours at a ren faire and this girl (who has waist-length hair that is in *terrible* condition) came up behind me and grabbed the end of my ponytail, tugging to get my attention. I whipped around and before I could stop myself, I had a hand around her throat. Woops. I get defensive.
...I don't think she'll be touching my hair again.
Whoa! She won't do that again! :lol:
ETA: Angela Rose, by the way, I love your signature pic!

Angela_Rose
July 3rd, 2009, 06:34 PM
Whoa! She won't do that again! :lol:
ETA: Angela Rose, by the way, I love your signature pic!

The terrified, surprised look on her face as she stammered out an apology was *priceless.*:D

And thank you!

Lexibeth
July 3rd, 2009, 07:06 PM
The terrified, surprised look on her face as she stammered out an apology was *priceless.*:D

And thank you!

Nice :) I've never had anyone yank my hair, but if I did, my reaction would probably be similar. Nice to know I'm not alone.

masterofmidgets
July 3rd, 2009, 07:18 PM
I'm not a fan of anyone touching my hair, let alone people I don't know - it just gives me shivers down my spine. I think it's incredibly rude and invasive to do something like that to a perfect stranger. Of course, if it's some little old lady or some girl at work who just thinks it's pretty, I would probably let it go without saying anything, or maybe just with a polite 'please don't do that, it makes me uncomfortable.' On the other hand, if some random person walking down the street tried it, they would probably become intimately acquainted with my fist.

SpinDance
July 3rd, 2009, 07:28 PM
The only time anyone seems to touch my hair is when it is in braids, particularly in 2 braids. The temptation of the 2 'lines/reins' seems to be too much for some to resist. It is nearly always someone I know well who is joking around, or someone that I have fairly recently met and connected with, someone that ends up being a close friend.

I have to agree that I'd react very badly if someone actually yanked on my hair, though. That would end badly.

HairColoredHair
July 3rd, 2009, 08:03 PM
I actually had a coworker grab one of my braids yesterday... I had double braids in and she tugged on one (gently) and told me I was making her miss her longer hair.


Of course, this is the woman with THE most beautiful waist length silver/gray hair I've seen in real life, so I had to return a compliment and then return to work.

Themyst
July 3rd, 2009, 08:41 PM
I don't really like it but I realize some people think nothing of it and mean nothing wrong by it, so I don't get rude with them.

It's kind of like the hugging thing. I do hate it when people meet (even when they know each other) and the women come up for an instant hug. I do not like pressing my body up against anyone other than my husband. Why on earth is hugging a custom?

I guess I'm in a mood. I could go on and on now. Like the dinner thing. I don't know why people get together for dinners. How strange it is to get together with a group of people and masticate your food together. :hmm: I wonder if I'm the only strange person with these thoughts. Maybe I'll just step over into my blog now ...

SurprisingWoman
July 3rd, 2009, 08:47 PM
I have people touch my hair all the time. It doesn't bother me. I take it as a compliment that they find my hair impossible to resist! ;)

Carrie Ingalls
July 3rd, 2009, 09:14 PM
Pretty much the only time I have people touching my hair is when I take it down (bun drop) to show it off (usually when someone asks to see it). I don't really mind, since most people are very gentle with it. But I hate it when someone grabs a bunch of it lifts it up and lets it drop back little by little again and again.... Most people are pretty respectful and gentle with my hair.

I loved how gently my god-daughter touched and felt my hair the first time she saw it down (she was 23 months old). It was the cutest thing! I didn't even have to say "be gentle."

BranwenWolf
July 3rd, 2009, 09:26 PM
Yes, I've gotten random touching. I usually turn around and give them the hairy eyeball.

Any tugging on my hair, especially from strangers, will result in me yelling "Why the hell are you touching me?!?"
Yes, it's disruptive but it's my hair and my body. Hands off!
For the record, I was groped and harassed at a workplace, and now I am extra sensitive about my space. I think the only touch I put up with cheerfully is old ladies, because they seem to appreciate long hair more.

Horses sniffing my hair is perfectly acceptable, though, and I've been letting the kitten (at the barn) play with my braids because he's too cute to resist.

lambhair
July 3rd, 2009, 09:39 PM
I hate it too...At least *ask* permission....this drives me crazy!

Angela_Rose
July 3rd, 2009, 09:47 PM
Nice :) I've never had anyone yank my hair, but if I did, my reaction would probably be similar. Nice to know I'm not alone.
I was furious. I don't like this girl to begin with, and I was in an already-foul mood. The stars just aligned so that I reacted very badly.

GlassEyes
July 3rd, 2009, 09:51 PM
I'm used to it. People tend to like to see my curls bounce--and act surprised when they do.

Because so many people would have curly hair if it were that easy to straighten out. xD;

AJoifulNoise
July 3rd, 2009, 09:51 PM
I don't think I've ever had a complete stranger touch my hair. But I think that's because I wear it up most of the time. And, even when it is down... I think I have a "don't touch me" vibe.

The only ones who have touched it are friends or acquaintances, and they always ask first. I really think it's because of that vibe...

redcelticcurls
July 3rd, 2009, 09:56 PM
People tend to boing the curls. I think people wonder if they spring back or not.

Whether or not it bothers me depends on the situation.

Torrin Paige
July 3rd, 2009, 10:00 PM
I get the touchers quite often. As my personal space bubble is tiny (I am aware of others' and keep a respectful distance, but I don't mind when my own is popped ;) ) I don't mind so much. Usually they ask if they can touch it first, which I almost always agree to (with a quick look at their hands to make sure there is nothing sticky there...with little ones, there is sometimes goo, ya know?). I will occasionally just feel someone petting me when I'm in line at the grocery store (it's almost always older ladies so I don't mind at all).

If anyone pulls or tugs on it however, they get slapped. I am very tender headed and I react to pain with pain. I know it's not very nice, but I can't help myself. So, Angela Rose, I feel ya on that one. I once slapped a friend in high school for coming up behind me and yanking on my hair...a good sound one too! Then I cried and apologized. I did tell her not to pull my hair anymore though...because it was likely to happen again. My hubby has gotten it a few times just by rolling over on it, poor guy.

I am not annoyed by the touching at all now as I did it myself once without meaning to. The guy in front of me had the thickest danged red ponytail I had ever seen and before I knew it I was squeezing it. I was horrified for not asking first, but all thought blew outta my head except for, "Holy cow! There is no way it's as thick as it looks..." It was every bit as thick as it looked. Thank goodness he was a good sport. I know I was eight shades of pink, I was so embarassed. So I don't get upset with regular touching...but no pulling!

Ash
July 3rd, 2009, 10:00 PM
I am not a touchy feely type of person at all. Occasionally a co worker will touch it and I kind of get stiff and move away as fast as possible, fortunately I have yet to have a stranger try. I really hope it stays that way because if they touched me at the wrong time and place, they would probably find out very quickly that I carry a knife. I do try and keep my hair in front of me if I have to be in close range of people, generally people don't grope in the direction of someone's boobs.

may1em
July 3rd, 2009, 10:14 PM
I find an icy-cold death stare useful. People don't generally touch my hair again.

Aunteater
July 3rd, 2009, 10:14 PM
I have people touch my hair all the time. It doesn't bother me. I take it as a compliment that they find my hair impossible to resist! ;) If I ever found myself in line behind you, SurprisingWoman, I would probably want to touch your hair, too! (but I would never do that without asking!)

--people touching my hair: depends entirely on who they are. Like a lot of people have noted... little kids touching my hair doesn't bother me (though sometimes it is quite startling!). But regular grownups who should know better... GRRR! HULK SMASH!! I don't like having my personal space invaded that way. Touching my hair is really personal, and pretty much reserved to my fiance.

Arctic_Mama
July 3rd, 2009, 11:04 PM
See now, it doesn't bother me at all, but I am quite chill and it hardly ever happens. The only people who ever touch my hair know me, but it just doesn't phase me.

aksown
July 4th, 2009, 12:19 AM
My hair isn't yet long enough to be that fascinating to total strangers but I imagine the first few times it happens I might take it as a compliment. After that it's "HANDS OFF!":patrol:

RavennaNight
July 4th, 2009, 12:22 AM
It depends on the situation. If someone I barely know or is a stranger starts putting their grubby paws in my hair I get skeeved. If it's a friend who is just admiring or wanting to feel texture that is fine. But random people? :tmi:

LadyGunn
July 4th, 2009, 12:39 AM
People tend to boing the curls. I think people wonder if they spring back or not.

Whether or not it bothers me depends on the situation.

I know that curls spring back, I just like watching it. :D But I don't touch people without their permission, except for kids. (Okay, that sounds bad - better explain.) I work with kindergarten & under kids at church, where we do hugs, fist bumps, noogies, etc. The teenagers at work would very occasionally get a pat on the shoulder or back, but only if I knew them well enough to know that they wouldn't mind &/or needed a caring touch at that moment.

I have had a client at work ask for a side hug, feel my braid hanging down & ask to pet it. Family members & close friends, I don't mind messing with my hair at all. It might throw me for a loop if a stranger were to start touching it though.

Nera
July 4th, 2009, 06:08 AM
It happens to me all the time. If friends do it, I don't mind, but random people are like: "OH she's curly! Now I have permission to touch her hair"! ... Not good.

Ryanne
July 4th, 2009, 07:35 AM
My hair's been pawed at, by people I know thankfully, so they mostly understood when I asked them not to touch it or I just go rigid and slowly back away.
I'm very fond of my personal space.

raindiamonds
July 4th, 2009, 07:42 AM
yeah people will say my hair looks nice and sometimes to ask to touch it,and some have touched it but those were mainly my friends.

HeatherJenae
July 4th, 2009, 02:18 PM
Friends definitely touch it, but even they ask. I've never had a stranger do it...that I know of! Although people at work will ask for each other, like "Can so and so touch your hair?". I had one guy stroke my hair as he walked by while I was eating lunch. He walked to the warehouse, clocked out, walked all the back, and started petting my hair again!!! One of the other ladies was like, "Stop touching her hair!". I just thought it was funny. My nicknames at work range from Silky, Bunhead, Sloppy Bunhead, etc... I think it's fine if people ask and get my permission, I get a kick out of it. I think I would be too uncomfortable to ask to touch a stranger's hair! Talk about weirdo alert! :)

Fiferstone
July 4th, 2009, 02:30 PM
This has only ever happened to me once (someone I don't know touching my hair). I was on the subway in Boston, one of the old green line cars that had the bench seats lined up in front of one another. A blind man sat down in the seat behind me and I must have had some hair draped over the back of the seat (where the hand grip is), he tugged it by accident when he sat down, apologized, and then said "you've got very soft hair, by the way." Of course, I was not offended, and I quickly pulled my errant hair around so it was over one shoulder and back in my personal space, not invading his :lol:.

Carolyn
July 4th, 2009, 02:40 PM
I don't think I've ever had a random stranger touch my hair. Ever. I've had very few hair comments from strangers too. I don't think I'm very approachable.

david
July 4th, 2009, 02:42 PM
Only had it happen a few times. All times it has happened have been when I wear my hair in a plait/braid, it seems that people cant resist tugging on it. The funniest occasion was standing in line and a girl about my age couldnt resist tugging my plait, so in this case it was a good conversation starter.

Paniculata
July 6th, 2009, 12:54 AM
If I wear my hair out in public, within a few hours (going to the bank, going grocery shopping etc), I will have had at least two strangers touch my hair without asking and at least five people comment/ask to touch.

When people come up behind me and touch, I jump and go 'argghh!' and hopefully they will get the idea that its not ok to touch people (long hair, baby-bellys etc) without asking first.

I know my hair length is somewhat rare around here as is the colour, but wow people, PLEASE DONT TOUCH WITHOUT ASKING! And even if you ask, im most likely to say NO because I dont know where your hands have been and simply .. its my hair, not yours :)

I do not leave the house with my hair out. Its sad because I like having it out, but I have real issues with personal space and my hair seems to be an invitation for people to over step the boundaries of my personal space.

Eolan
July 6th, 2009, 01:24 AM
Friends/family touching me/my hair: Absolutely fine with that, I even like it since I am a physical person with people I love and care for.
Random people touching me/my hair: Are you kidding me!? It's rediculously disrespective!
No stranger has so far touched my hair, but years ago when my tatoo was new, having tatoos was not as common as it is today. When I was out and about, drunk guys would often come up and stroke my tatoo. I'm sorry, do I have a sign on me that says it's okey to stroke me? Who the h*ll are you? ARGH! :justy:
Also, I don't think it's okay for strangers to touch children they don't know. Just because it is a child does'nt mean it's not a person with personal space. My sister had an old lady come up and touch her baby boy on the cheek. Nothing offensive from the old lady's side or anything, but still, it's not frigging okay.
Jeez, now I need a chill pill. :chillpill:

lizzyjo
July 6th, 2009, 03:36 AM
I don't ever recall friends or strangers touching my hair without asking since it's been long. Right now, I feel that it would be a compliment for someone to randomly touch my hair.

I have an urge to touch other people's tattoos (even though I don't without asking), and I remember once being very curious about someone's scar that he had had since birth (I didn't touch that, either).

When I has short, spiky hair in high school I did like when people felt my hair because I liked the attention.

Certainly, I would tell off anyone who touched my hair in an appropriate or harmful way, but I wouldn't be offended if anyone touched it out of curiosity.

Eolan
July 6th, 2009, 09:50 AM
I have an urge to touch other people's tattoos (even though I don't without asking), and I remember once being very curious about someone's scar that he had had since birth (I didn't touch that, either).

I think curiousity is a good thing and the key thing here is asking first, since that gives the person being asked the opportunity to say no.

Rentlle
July 6th, 2009, 10:54 AM
Strangers have never touched my hair.
They shoudn't do it to!
I would get mad, I think... :blush:

Lioness
July 6th, 2009, 10:57 AM
I haven't had strangers touch my hair yet, i guess it's not long enough to draw anyone's attention hehe
But if they would i don't think i would dare to hit them, i'd just give them my icecold stare, i'm a pro at it ^^

Evilynn
July 6th, 2009, 02:09 PM
Not anymore, but when I had waist to hip length (it varied over the years) bright red hair there'd be two scenarios where people I didn't know would touch it:

1. Kids. I've been startled at the subway and turned around to notice a 2 year old happily reach out for my hair, to her father's embarrassment. A less nice episode was spending a flight with someone else's baby hanging from one of my braids. I have no idea why its parents thought I'd be fine with it. :confused: My scalp isn't very sensitive, but hello? Your. Baby. Is Hanging. From. My. Hair.

2. Intoxicated adults. As long as they were sober they kept their hands to themselves, but the moment I was at a club, people went grabby hands.

Aries_jb
July 6th, 2009, 03:54 PM
I think people are fascinated with curly hair, so of course I've had many random people touch it. Usually it's followed by a compliment, so I typically don't mind. What bothers me is when people don't notice the person attached to the hair and they talk about it like I'm not standing there as well. I had two preteen girls carry on a conversation about my hair as if I wasn't there, both of them petting it all the while. They were being complimentary, but when I turned around (in a friendly way) they stopped talking and looked at me like I was being intrusive. Weird.

Cherry_Sprinkle
July 6th, 2009, 04:00 PM
I've never had anyone just come up and touch my hair but I'm not all that long yet.. I've had a stylist come over and touch it and tell me it was "soooooo long!!! and sooooo pretty!!!" but aside from that, I don't think I have had anyone ask to touch it.

nowxisxforever
July 6th, 2009, 04:12 PM
Unless I specifically don't like them or they creep me out, I don't mind people touching my hair at work. They all know how important it is to me and that I would personally chop their heads off if they did anything to damage it.

I did get a little grumpy with a guy who was walking up behind me and rubbing my back (with my hair down) because all I could think about was my poor hair being rubbed! He was just trying to be nice, so I grimaced, moved it and tried to distract him with candy, lol.

nowxisxforever
July 6th, 2009, 04:13 PM
I think people are fascinated with curly hair, so of course I've had many random people touch it. Usually it's followed by a compliment, so I typically don't mind. What bothers me is when people don't notice the person attached to the hair and they talk about it like I'm not standing there as well. I had two preteen girls carry on a conversation about my hair as if I wasn't there, both of them petting it all the while. They were being complimentary, but when I turned around (in a friendly way) they stopped talking and looked at me like I was being intrusive. Weird.

That's a little rude, yes. :confused:

redcelticcurls
July 6th, 2009, 05:02 PM
I had someone ask me to touch it Saturday. She was another curly, and we were talking routines, so that was different, lol. her hair is fine and mine is coarse, and she wanted to feel the difference and just check the texture in general. It was pretty cool that she asked.

I'm probably much more lenient towards other curlies touching my hair than I am with straight haired folks touching it.

Schnee
July 7th, 2009, 02:35 PM
Funny finding this thread.. Yes, I've had totally random strangers touch my hair without permisson! And it happens a lot. Weekly almost. Even though it's normally followed by a compliment it is annoying and I wish people would just not touch.

If you see me, please don't touch me. ;)

krissykins
July 7th, 2009, 02:57 PM
I'm not going to lie, it bugs me. A lot. I have no idea where their hands have been.

Shadow Walker
July 7th, 2009, 03:14 PM
Today when I was out to lunch, some old lady came up behind me and grabbed my tail right at the base and said to me "you know that's dangerous, someone could come up behind you with a pair of scissors and chop it all off". Without really thinking and with her still clutching my hair, I went into my typical death metal mode and said "if that happened, I'd stab the person right in the face with those scissors, repeatedly". She walked away after that. :p

I certainly didn't care to have a stranger grabbing my hair, and I'm pretty germaphobic. I get enough of that at work as it is, though at least it hasn't happened much recently.

LawyerGirl
July 7th, 2009, 03:44 PM
Today when I was out to lunch, some old lady came up behind me and grabbed my tail right at the base and said to me "you know that's dangerous, someone could come up behind you with a pair of scissors and chop it all off". Without really thinking and with her still clutching my hair, I went into my typical death metal mode and said "if that happened, I'd stab the person right in the face with those scissors, repeatedly". She walked away after that. :p

I certainly didn't care to have a stranger grabbing my hair, and I'm pretty germaphobic. I get enough of that at work as it is, though at least it hasn't happened much recently.

Haha that's awesome. :p

My hair isn't long enough for people to touch quite yet. But I am not a fan of random touching in general.

JamieLeigh
July 8th, 2009, 09:19 AM
I also get a little freaked out by this. Normally I don't get touched, just looked at, thankfully. I'm always paranoid about whether people have just been to the bathroom and haven't washed their hands. :eek:

JamieLeigh
July 8th, 2009, 09:22 AM
Without really thinking and with her still clutching my hair, I went into my typical death metal mode and said "if that happened, I'd stab the person right in the face with those scissors, repeatedly". She walked away after that. :p

:spitting: This has got to be the funniest thing I've read on here in weeks. I applaud you, that was so completely awesome!!

Xandergrammy
July 8th, 2009, 04:12 PM
Today when I was out to lunch, some old lady came up behind me and grabbed my tail right at the base and said to me "you know that's dangerous, someone could come up behind you with a pair of scissors and chop it all off". Without really thinking and with her still clutching my hair, I went into my typical death metal mode and said "if that happened, I'd stab the person right in the face with those scissors, repeatedly". She walked away after that. :p



I absolutely love your response to her. I hope I can remember to steal that line the next time someone makes a similar comment to me!! :gabigrin:

ScrimHazard
July 8th, 2009, 05:56 PM
hahaha, I would have loved to witness that encounter. :)

It doesn't bother me when people touch my hair as long as they're petting me and not taunting me. Heehee...

Nyghtingale
July 8th, 2009, 07:40 PM
Some of my friends at work will come by my cube, if I have it down they will braid it. I love it. I love to have my hair touched, petted, brushed, whatever. :p

Flynn
July 8th, 2009, 07:54 PM
I hate random touching, of hair or otherwise. Very few people do it, but when they do, it always makes me feel panicky. Like I want to scream and run away.

Flynn
July 8th, 2009, 08:00 PM
Today when I was out to lunch, some old lady came up behind me and grabbed my tail right at the base and said to me "you know that's dangerous, someone could come up behind you with a pair of scissors and chop it all off". Without really thinking and with her still clutching my hair, I went into my typical death metal mode and said "if that happened, I'd stab the person right in the face with those scissors, repeatedly". She walked away after that. :p

I certainly didn't care to have a stranger grabbing my hair, and I'm pretty germaphobic. I get enough of that at work as it is, though at least it hasn't happened much recently.

I was always scared of this on the schoolbus. Several girls (mostly from another school) had had their ponytails partially or fully snipped off by the boys from one particular boy's school (which had VERY big problems with this bullying culture within the school.) I had sugar, salt, zinc-cream, lemonade, and a few other interesting things poured, smeared, or smooshed into my hair, (and I demonstrated to quite a few boys what happens when someone with very long fingernails slaps you across the face with their hand not quite flat... several times, as they could never learn from each other's mistakes), but thankfully never any scissors.

Brownie
July 11th, 2009, 03:38 AM
I'm very fond of my personal space. I hate it when someone touches me. If looks could kill, they'd be all dead now :D

Feye
July 11th, 2009, 04:18 AM
Only people I know touch my hair, and then it's supposed to be sweet or appreciative, so I tend to like it. Strangers don't touch my hair. If they did it would probably freak me out.

Some people are really touchy-feely without thinking about it (or do they?). People tend to touch my body. My waist, to be precise. Does this happen to someone else?

A manager in a company I worked in used to walk past me, and if it was a narrow passage he'd put his both hands on my waist while walking by. Very uncomfortable. I've also seen him pat waitresses on the arm or back for attention, and I've seen them flinch in surprise or fear. I just don't think that he even thinks about what he's doing? I started to see it coming, so I took a step back or pressed to the wall when he walked past, so his hands fell back to his sides again.

I often have men putting their hands on my waist when they walk past me in crowded places, to kind of push me a little to the side. Even strangers. Perhaps they do it out of courtesy to to create a little space between our bodies, but having someone's hands on your waist feels intimate too. As if they're somehow trying to feel me up. It's the kind of thing that I expect from an interested guy, not someone unknown or someone at work.

There's a thin line between being too touchy-feely and too stiff. There was a survey that showed that people who touch other people are thought to be more attractive than non-touchy people, and I think that's true. But I don't think that the touching includes the waist, but rather neutral body parts like the arm or similar :rolleyes:

Wicked Princess
July 11th, 2009, 05:37 AM
When I was a little girl (~ eight years old), I had hair down to my knees. I never had anyone put things in it, or try to cut it as a prank, or tug on it harshly, so in that I was blessed. I think the majority of this was due to the area I lived in: major city, very culturally diverse. I may have had the longest hair in school, but there were quite a few girls with hair long enough to sit on. Maybe no one bothered me because long hair was more common place.

During that time, though, a lot of the other girls would want to play with my hair. When I was trying to read, it wasn't unusual for me to feel someone attempting to braid it. I have no memory of this bothering me.

Today, I come across far less people wanting to touch my hair (probably because it's only around my tailbone). The few bold enough to try have always asked politely before doing so, and so I've let them. They give me a quick compliment before going about their business. One could say that I've been extremely lucky that I haven't come across anyone too creepy.

Still, I can't say that I'm without fear that there will one day be an a**, who will touch my hair without my permission. At which point, there will likely be a violent, physical reaction which may result in me being forced to pay their medical bills.

Polite people = kind princess. Rude, grabby people = evil princess. It's that simple!

Aquamarine
September 7th, 2009, 02:30 PM
I face this kinda situation almost everyday......sometimes it drives me crazy:p my best friend touches my hair almost everyday on the pretext of "fixing" my hairstyle, she then gives a new compliment I've told her to stop but she find some sort of excuse. My aunts and cousins too like to do that....My uncle loves long hair and he keeps offering me a "scalp massage" but I turned down everytime. But once when I had a really bad headache, I finally agreed and he massaged for about 2hrs! do you think this is weird?..... I don't really like when strangers touch my hair.....but it does happen sometimes...I just give them a friendly warning.

EvaSimone
September 7th, 2009, 02:42 PM
If you had asked me two months ago about this I would have said that no one ever touched my hair.

Now I work with a lady who finds it terribly funny to pull my fork out of my bun so that my hair falls out. :rant:
I yelled at her pretty badly the last time she did it so I haven't had her do that recently. She still thinks it's funny that I make her stand to the side of me instead of behind me. It wouldn't irritate me so much if it wasn't hard for me to find a balanced updo, so when one is pulled out for amusement I want to scream with frustration.

BranwenWolf
September 7th, 2009, 03:42 PM
(I think I may have already replied to this thread but...)
I don't like people touching my hair. At all. Maybe if it was a lover doing it out of admiration, but I don't have one of those.

Some people from church were the worst- my mom would be talking away to them like I wasn't even there, and they'd touch it like it was a museum exhibit. I jerked away like a shy horse the last time it happened. This ain't a petting zoo.

Pulling my hair will earn the puller a fist to the face/boot to the groin. That's unacceptable in any circumstance.

ETA: EvaSimone: I'd tell that lady something like this:
"Look, I actually have to work to put my hair up in the morning. It's part of my body and my personal space. I find it very rude when you take my bun out. How would you like it if I ripped your jewelry off or snapped your bra strap?"

jahof45
September 7th, 2009, 03:51 PM
Yes, I have had strangers randomly touch my hair and my natural reaction was to slap them. I react without thought as though a stranger just pinched my butt.

neon-dream
September 7th, 2009, 03:54 PM
If you had asked me two months ago about this I would have said that no one ever touched my hair.

Now I work with a lady who finds it terribly funny to pull my fork out of my bun so that my hair falls out. :rant:
I yelled at her pretty badly the last time she did it so I haven't had her do that recently. She still thinks it's funny that I make her stand to the side of me instead of behind me. It wouldn't irritate me so much if it wasn't hard for me to find a balanced updo, so when one is pulled out for amusement I want to scream with frustration.

This is possibly the most childish thing I've heard. You should try messing up her hair every day and see how she enjoys it. :mad:

pepperminttea
September 7th, 2009, 04:28 PM
I'm not good with strangers doing it, at all. People I know (and trust not to have sticky, grubby fingers), I love it. Having my hair played with is one of my favourite feelings. :)

Kaijah
September 7th, 2009, 05:17 PM
I really dislike when people do this, too. I've noticed people tend to want to twirl the curls on my ends around their fingers the most, and full on "running the hands through" is a little more rare. Personally, I really don't get how people think it's okay... isn't not touching/poking/prodding and not invading others space something we're all taught in kindergarten?

I have the same kind of problem Feye - mostly it's guys, but people in general seem to touch my body a lot as well as my hair. I guess it's because I'm kind of small, so I'm not very intimidating physically, or something. Usually it's my waist or hips, which I think is really strange and I find nerve wracking. I know I have a lot of issues with strangers and personal space, and I always react with severe shying back.... and I've had a person or two act OFFENDED. That really blows my mind - you touch a random stranger and are surprised when they're not happy? What?

There are only two people I'm okay with having pet my hair - my boyfriend, and a girl I've been friends with for 11 or so years. Heh.

LittleOrca
September 7th, 2009, 05:23 PM
Old ladies pet me like I am their cat. :rolleyes:

Sometimes my mom touches my hair, but she's my mom. I don't mind her or my fiancÚ touching. I tend to be too nice though to the old ladies. Maybe next time I should just meow.
:kitten:

twolunarspring
September 7th, 2009, 05:48 PM
I have many times had randoms coming up to me in the street and touching my hair... I'm really not OK with it. I wouldn't dream of touching someone else without permission of some kind. I mean, most people wouldn't go "Hey, nice boobs!" and grab a handful, so why is it OK for hair? Baby bumps, too... while I was pregnant I had people touching my belly *and* my hair :eek:

It is generally accompanied by a compliment which is nice, and I would be lying if I didn't admit that I really enjoy the special feeling I get from the compliments I get... but touching is a step over the line, in my opinion. It's usually elderly ladies, though, so I am kind about it ;)

BranwenWolf
September 7th, 2009, 05:53 PM
I need a shirt that says "Touch me and you'll pull back a bloody stump".

BrandonB
July 29th, 2010, 10:15 AM
It really depends on my mood if it bothers me or not.

Alvrodul
July 29th, 2010, 10:22 AM
The terrified, surprised look on her face as she stammered out an apology was *priceless.*:D

And thank you!
Way to go! :D

I think I might have a somewhat similar reaction to yours. I have fortunately not been plagued by people who think they can handle my hair without my permission (except for some very young children - and I can tolerate them touching my hair.)

LouLaLa
July 29th, 2010, 10:37 AM
I used to get people ask alot when I was in school and so long as their hands werent grubby I didnt mind so much, I think it depends on your mood too. There was one girl who literally used to ask to brush my hair but I took that as a compliment and she got alot of joy out of doing it and I got someone who could brush hair super gentle and get my tangles out and shes now a good friend so I didnt mind at all!

I dont know about anyone else but I find having your hair brushed by someone else, so long as you trust them, really theraputic.

Hair really inspires people!

sally_neuf
August 30th, 2010, 08:09 PM
I was just thinking about this, and if it is different in other countries and such.

Here, between friends, is very common to pet each others hair. For example if I am at someone house in a reunion, is probably that my friend would ask me to pet her hair. Or that we randomly pet each other.
Or I saw classes with a girl who had waist 3C hair. Even if I didn't knew her, by the 4th week of classes I asked her if I could plump her hair :o She had no problem, and ever since, when I see her and say Hi I ... plump her hair!
I did the same with a girl who used dreadlocks, a friend who had a soft 3C pillow in his head... and really,it is not creepy at all.

So, how do you handle this? is it acceptable to treat someone else hair like that or would that be a creepy/rude thing to do in the place you live?

MissManda
August 30th, 2010, 08:20 PM
Ah, you speak of The Touchers. Yes, I know exactly what you mean. I used to have random people come up behind and pet my hair all the time when I was a little girl with long hair.

My hair is now on the borderline of "really long," so I haven't had anyone random touch my hair yet, but I suspect it'll happen one of these days. The fact that DBF and my friends just reach out to grab it and play with it is a sure sign of that. lol

I don't mind if people I know touch my hair and I don't mind if strangers touch my hair as long as they ask first, but it does startle me when they come out of nowhere.

ArienEllariel
August 30th, 2010, 08:29 PM
The only people that touch my hair are family and a few close friends. I usually don't mind people I know touching my hair. Now when one of my friends came up behind me the other day and grabbed my dutch braid from behind and pulled hard on it, simultaniously saying, "Come on!" while walking away from me.. that I did mind. Hurt like heck honestly but because she's my best friend, I laughed it off. If it had been anyone else I probably would have slapped them.

Charlotte:)
August 30th, 2010, 09:48 PM
I'm flattered every time someone touches my hair. It means they think it's pretty :)

RitaPG
August 30th, 2010, 09:56 PM
Never had a stranger touching my hair. I'm pretty sure I'd be uncomfortable.
I don't mind close friends touching it, doesn't happen very often though, maybe that's why it doesn't bother me. I let my best friend from class braid it.

Kibitzer
August 30th, 2010, 10:10 PM
When I was a kid someone was always touching my hair and it didn't bother me. Then I got a wild hair and decided to get my hair cut and ever since then it's a do not touch ever.

Ludde
September 12th, 2010, 08:47 AM
Happens all the time. I am not very bothered. Prefer people touching my hair rather than my dogs.

constantki
September 12th, 2010, 08:57 AM
I love it when random people touch my hair!

Dragon
September 13th, 2010, 02:33 AM
Hate it. Dont let many people touch my hair.

Balenciaga
September 13th, 2010, 07:43 AM
I work with people with dementia, and a lot of the ladies like to touch it when i have it down. Lots of them tell me that they used to have very long hair but they cut it when they got married. They're always very gentle and I don't mind at all.
Random people on the street is a different matter. *shudder*

EtherealOde
September 13th, 2010, 10:36 AM
While having breakfast in a restaurant with my husband one morning last year, an elderly man with a younger male companion came in and sat near us. As they walked past our table, the old gentleman reached out and touched my hair, and said "such a pretty red hair" before sitting at their table next to ours. I was a bit taken aback, but the apologetic look on the younger gentleman's face, and their conversation as they ate made me realize the elderly man had dementia, probably Alzheimer's, and the younger man was his grandson.

It was sweet to see how gentle the young man was with his grandfather, never getting frustrated or annoyed with the repeated questions about the same things, and his frequent comments on the pretty red hair next to them, who looked like grandma had. When we got up to go, I stopped at their table, and thanked him for his compliments on my hair, and you should have seen his face light up. The grandson's look of thanks at me when I did so just added to the good feeling.

If I had snapped at the old gentleman, it might have been very traumatic for him, and instead it let him have memories of his wife that he may have probably forgotten. I don't care for strangers touching my hair unasked, but I think sometimes we never know what a person is thinking when it does happen and it isn't always done because they are rude with no sense of personal boundaries. Maybe it was simply an unconscious action.

LittleOrca
September 13th, 2010, 06:31 PM
I work with people with dementia, and a lot of the ladies like to touch it when i have it down. Lots of them tell me that they used to have very long hair but they cut it when they got married. They're always very gentle and I don't mind at all.
Random people on the street is a different matter. *shudder*

I am going to start working with people, mostly women, with Dementia here in a few weeks. I thought about them reaching out and touching my hair and I figured I would keep it up as much as I could, since I only work with them four hours a week. Do you find that they pull at a braid as well or just reach out and touch your hair when it's loose? Then again, it might be a good thing to wear it down once in a while since it is the Memory Care unit and my purpose in being there is to help them recover memories and share them even if for a little bit and them seeing my hair and if they had long hair and it reminded it of their hair in the past might also trigger other memories.... wow, that has to be the longest run on sentence I have ever written, lol.

Balenciaga
September 14th, 2010, 09:21 AM
Dementia, especially Alzheimers is a strange thing. Expect people to have long periods of obviously having it and then short periods of being absolutely fine. In general, the people I work with are fairly functional, we do activities, jigsaws, short walks, etc.
Nobody's ever pulled my hair, one of the gentlemen I work with likes to tap the end of my nose with my plait. On very rare occaisions, someone can get verbally abusive, just distract them and carry on. If anyone gets physical, shout for help or press your call button and move away.
However a lot of the time you're going to have to be very patient and be prepared to constantly prompt people about what they're doing. Some of them might have perfectly fine long term memories and be able to tell you all about their past, but next to no short term memories. Some are exactly the opposite.
You'll probably be asked the time/date a lot too. Be prepared to watch a lot of awful day time TV. Bring your own lunch, institution food is awful.
I hope you enjoy it, it can be hard but it's really rewarding.

Sunsailing
September 15th, 2010, 09:34 PM
I went to Meijer a few nights ago. There was a younger greeter that night who immediately complimented me on my hair. I said thanks and began walking. Then she asked a question about my hair ("Is that a rubber band, or is that hair wrapped around your pony...") at the same time as I felt her hand on my hair!
(I'm not a touchy person.)

A greeter should not be touching guests as they enter a store.


On the other hand, I think I would like my hair touched by people I know (my wife never touches my hair :( )

JulietCapulet
September 16th, 2010, 07:18 AM
I think people used to do that when I was in high school...but since then not really. It doesn't bother me.

wvgemini
September 16th, 2010, 08:48 AM
While having breakfast in a restaurant with my husband one morning last year, an elderly man with a younger male companion came in and sat near us. As they walked past our table, the old gentleman reached out and touched my hair, and said "such a pretty red hair" before sitting at their table next to ours. I was a bit taken aback, but the apologetic look on the younger gentleman's face, and their conversation as they ate made me realize the elderly man had dementia, probably Alzheimer's, and the younger man was his grandson.

It was sweet to see how gentle the young man was with his grandfather, never getting frustrated or annoyed with the repeated questions about the same things, and his frequent comments on the pretty red hair next to them, who looked like grandma had. When we got up to go, I stopped at their table, and thanked him for his compliments on my hair, and you should have seen his face light up. The grandson's look of thanks at me when I did so just added to the good feeling.

If I had snapped at the old gentleman, it might have been very traumatic for him, and instead it let him have memories of his wife that he may have probably forgotten. I don't care for strangers touching my hair unasked, but I think sometimes we never know what a person is thinking when it does happen and it isn't always done because they are rude with no sense of personal boundaries. Maybe it was simply an unconscious action.

Aw! That got me all choked up. My mawmaw had Alzheimer's and she passed while I was deployed. I hope you made that man's day!

Tabihito
September 16th, 2010, 08:59 AM
I was standing out at formation this morning when one of the seniors from the unit that forms up next to us walked up, poked my bun, and said "Haha, I just poked your bun-hole." (I wear a sock bun in uniform.) Were it not that I'm pretty good friends with her, I probably would've stepped on her feet, as that's one of the worst things you can do to a person, since they'll spend hours re-shining their shoes. If she'd been a guy, I would've done it regardless, since the pun is just horrid.

But thankfully, generally people refrain from touching my hair. Most people don't feel the urge to randomly poke my bun, and very few people ever get to see me with my hair down (not that it's particularly long anyhow). The only random instance was a guy I'm friends with grabbed a piece of my hair last weekend after I'd showered and let my hair air dry loose. "Wow, your hair's curly!", as though it's inconceivable that anyone who wears their hair in a bun all the time could possibly have hair that's actually curly. Though mine's more wavy anyhow. It was weird though, especially given that I have personal space issues...