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View Full Version : 3 year old wants short hair....should I???



whiteisle
June 29th, 2009, 04:40 PM
So this is not new. Not anything that has just recently come up. She has said for months that she wants her hair short and she means really short - not some run-of-the-mill blunt bob with bangs - she means really short.

She hates having her hair in her face and doesn't like her hair up either. No ponys, no braids, no barrettes or bands. It's got natural curl and honestly looks awful most of the time no matter what I've tried to do to it.

So at this point I'm almost willing to concede to let her get it cut short, probably pixieish because that's the only thing I can think of that will keep the hair out of her face without having to secure it with something.

I'm I crazy for letting her do this??? I don't know what else to do. :confused:

Deborah
June 29th, 2009, 04:48 PM
She's only three. Cut it short. She has many years ahead for long hair. :)

Bene
June 29th, 2009, 04:49 PM
if she's asking for it, i don't see why it's crazy to let her choose her hair length. she has pretty good reasons for requesting a short style, and it's kind of cool that she made her wishes known at such a young age.

and, if she's been asking for months, she has waited out the 2 week rule :D and, if she hates it, it'll grow back.

Lohari
June 29th, 2009, 04:51 PM
If she really wants it, then I think you should let her get short hair. It's in her head after all, and if it bothers her, then it should be cut : ) Long hair can be bothersome when it gets in your face and you're too young to put it up yourself on just don't want to wear it up. She is still a child, if she someday wants long hair again, she has time to grow it. I don't think you're crazy if you let her do it ^.^

Jinx2234
June 29th, 2009, 05:05 PM
I agree, if she wants short hair, you should let her cut it.

nowxisxforever
June 29th, 2009, 05:10 PM
I'd let her cut it... sadly, but I would.

When I was growing up my mother and I were kind of opposites-- I didn't give a rat's arse what happened to my hair but I wanted it to be left alone. She wanted it blonde, permed, blowdried, curled... so as a five year old, I had bleached blonde permed shoulderlength layered hair. I hated it.

As soon as I moved in with my dad at 13, I *stopped touching my hair*. I brushed it and washed it periodically but I did very little with it elsewise, left it down, etc. I got a lot of damage from leaving it down and never doing anything to take care of it, but I left it alone and now have what you see here... long hair!

So, let her cut it, if that's what her preference is... hopefully one day she'll realize how pretty long hair is as she sees yours growing out healthily and decide to follow suit! :)

birdiefu
June 29th, 2009, 05:12 PM
I would definitely let her get the cut, especially if she has been asking about it for months. The 2ww is an eternity for a small child, and it seems like her mind is set. She has many years ahead of her, and can always grow again if she regrets her decision. I think it's harder for us as parents to let it be cut, since we've seen it grow since they were babies. At least, it was with me when my son's hair was cut when he turned 3. :o

Isilme
June 29th, 2009, 05:18 PM
well, as much as we love long hair and are talking about when we were younger and some of our parents didn't let us have it long, she could complain years later that she never got to have it short. If she has decided on short, let her have it :)

may1em
June 29th, 2009, 05:22 PM
She may be only three, but this sound like a consistent request.

It is her body and her hair - if a pixie would make her happy, give her the pixie!

I'm of the opinion that children should be allowed (within reason) to choose how to wear their own hair. When I have children (I don't, yet), I plan on emphasizing the two-week rule and requiring children old enough for a part time job to pay for their own blue hair dye and perms.

whiteisle
June 29th, 2009, 05:23 PM
Honestly, I don't have issues with her wanting her hair short. It's everyone else around me.......those who are stuck on what a little girl "should" look like. My DD is one who will put on her pretty, frilly, sparkly princess dress, slip her green froggy rain boots on and then proceed to dig in a mud puddle. :rolleyes::p

And I don't even know if my stylist will do it. She seems the type stuck on images. We'll see.........

nowxisxforever
June 29th, 2009, 05:27 PM
Honestly, I don't have issues with her wanting her hair short. It's everyone else around me.......those who are stuck on what a little girl "should" look like. My DD is one who will put on her pretty, frilly, sparkly princess dress, slip her green froggy rain boots on and then proceed to dig in a mud puddle. :rolleyes::p

And I don't even know if my stylist will do it. She seems the type stuck on images. We'll see.........

Well, she's your daughter and it's her hair, to hell with everyone else, to be frank!

If your stylist won't do it, take her to another stylist or cut it yourself. No reason to be forced into something by people who don't need to be part of the decision.

If they have problems with her not being girly enough, then perhaps invest in some cute little clippies and make sure her hair is long enough for them when she's around others that would be cranky?

may1em
June 29th, 2009, 05:30 PM
Honestly, I don't have issues with her wanting her hair short. It's everyone else around me.......those who are stuck on what a little girl "should" look like. My DD is one who will put on her pretty, frilly, sparkly princess dress, slip her green froggy rain boots on and then proceed to dig in a mud puddle. :rolleyes::p

And I don't even know if my stylist will do it. She seems the type stuck on images. We'll see.........

If your stylist won't, find one who will, or do the cut yourself. I'd imagine that an electric trimmer like the ones used on guys' cuts (the kind that let you adjust up to a few inches how much gets cut off) could work. Or maybe leave some a bit longer (short bangs length) in the front and on top, and cut the majority from the bottom of her head.

ETA: doubleposted with nowxisxforever

ETA2: For those who are insistent on imposing gendered standards on your 3 YEAR OLD, point out that she owns a pretty frilly sparkly princess dress, say something about how "she's so active, it's just easier to manage this way", or tell them to shove it. Or some combination of all of the above. you can always have her wear a headband for dress-up events. I'm glad you're listening to what your daughter wants and needs and not to people who want to limit who she can be starting from such an early age.

birdiefu
June 29th, 2009, 05:33 PM
You could start the cut yourself and come in to the stylist with an "oh-no, someone got a hold of scissors!" or something, if you are too embarrassed to say you wanted it short. I'm sure she would clean it up to look pretty for you.

redneckprincess
June 29th, 2009, 05:35 PM
shes 3..... she dosnt want to worry about hair right now, she obviously has better priorities right now,lol she has a lifetime to grow long hair..yes cut it for her. before you have to join the post about children cutting their own hair

CindyLea1
June 29th, 2009, 05:40 PM
:p Mud puddles and frillies!!!:eyebrows:

Sounds like my daughter! I vote for the cut. Tell those that give you a hard time, that YOU are her mother. It will be easier for you and her not to have to fight to keep it out of her eyes, or tye it up if she's fighting that.

Later, if she wants it longer, or learns to deal with it then let it be.

Maybe talk her into haveing it shoulder length to start? That way if she hates it short once she has it it will be ok. You can always go shorter if she wants?

nowxisxforever
June 29th, 2009, 05:44 PM
:p Mud puddles and frillies!!!:eyebrows:

Sounds like my daughter! I vote for the cut. Tell those that give you a hard time, that YOU are her mother. It will be easier for you and her not to have to fight to keep it out of her eyes, or tye it up if she's fighting that.

Later, if she wants it longer, or learns to deal with it then let it be.

Maybe talk her into haveing it shoulder length to start? That way if she hates it short once she has it it will be ok. You can always go shorter if she wants?

That's a good idea too, go a little shorter at a time until she's ready for the short cut or can say ACTUALLY NO I DON'T LIKE THIS. :)

embee
June 29th, 2009, 05:47 PM
Cut it. Short. It's summer. She'll be swimming and playing in water. And mud. She'll be darling. Does she have pierced ears? If so, some little flower earrings will certainly take care of any girly look. ;)

As was mentioned before, get it cut before she cuts it for herself. My DD cut her front hair to the scalp when she was not yet 4.

Cricket1
June 29th, 2009, 06:27 PM
I think you should let her cut it. Short hair seems more appropriate on a little girl because at that age most kids care more about the practicality and not the way it looks. Also, ironically in Indian cultures, where it is fashionable for grown women to have long hair, I see most little girls with pixie cuts. I guess they grow it out when they get older. But its really cute!:p

OhioLisa
June 29th, 2009, 06:32 PM
I think she is too young to make such a decision for herself. Then again, I don't really believe in short hair for girls, so I am a bit biased. Anyway, you are the parent, so the choice is yours, not hers or anyone else. Just my :twocents:

Carrie Ingalls
June 29th, 2009, 07:57 PM
I love long hair on little girls. But, that being said I have talked to some girls at my church who desperately want to have their hair long and have expressed that desire to their mom for years but are still given no say in their hair cuts. :(

I know that my parents would have been fine with me cutting my hair if I had wanted it cut, yet mom helped me take care of it for years and years instead of forcing me to get it cut.

You are the mom, you know your kids and this isn't being done on a whim.

One closing story, 3 and 5 year old sisters at my church told their mom they wanted purple hair. So their mom whet out and picked up some purple hair dye (temporary, out in 8 washes kind) and let them have purple (ish, not florescent) hair. The girls loved it! Mom got lots of weird looks and a fair bit of criticism (and was mildly annoyed when it didn't wash out for a couple months).:o The mom said she would rather her kids come to her with their reqests than to try to do it on their own and get hurt or damage something in the process.

Kirin
June 29th, 2009, 08:05 PM
So at this point I'm almost willing to concede to let her get it cut short, probably pixieish because that's the only thing I can think of that will keep the hair out of her face without having to secure it with something.

I'm I crazy for letting her do this??? I don't know what else to do. :confused:

Concede? Isn't it her hair? If her hair is long and she's been on and on about wanting it short, and its still long, you might be imposing your desire for long hair on your daughter.

She may not like long hair like you do, let her cut it. Its not worth a fight, after all, it is her hair.

Think about it, you wouldn't like someone imposing short haircuts on you, would you?

invisiblebabe
June 29th, 2009, 08:11 PM
Absolutely let her :) She's wanted it for a long time now (hey, when you're 3, a few months is a very long time!), and a short halo of pixie curls can be really cute!

Krystyle
June 29th, 2009, 08:46 PM
I say do it. Let me forewarn you though, if she doesn't like it or gets tired of it being short, you'll have to put up with hearing her complain about that. You know how we, as grown women are, we want short hair and so we cut it and then not long thereafter we complain about it growing slow, or we regret the cut or it gets in some awful in between stage. Just imagine how a woman whines multiplied by that of an unsatisfied three year-old. This is just my humble opinion. I'd probably give in too though.

ReddishRocks
June 29th, 2009, 09:45 PM
I strongly believe that children should be given choice whenever the outcome has no chance of being permanently/severely harmful. As adults, we have to decide what could be "harmful." :) In some cultural situations, short hair on a girl could be "harmful" to her, but it doesn't sound like that's what you're dealing with! :D

As my mother's fond of saying - pick your battles. My father insisted that my hair stay long, so when I was 19 and out of his house, I did this:

http://i183.photobucket.com/albums/x143/ReddishRocks/Dec99.jpg

Culturally, I paid for it. Big time. A lot and often. I learned a lot about prejudices and the tight little box that females are expected to reside within. So I understand some of your concern there. :) But she's 3! She doesn't have to impress anybody yet, and you're big enough to stand up for yourself AND her (yay for moms!!!). :flower:

It can definitely be a learning opportunity for her too - choices and consequences. She may adore the results or really dislike it. If kids tease her for looking like a boy, she'll learn how to deal with that and perhaps make a different choice when it comes time for another cut (or maybe not! :D).

I think it's awesome that you care enough to consider it. :heartbeat

Natalia
June 29th, 2009, 10:19 PM
I vote for letting her experiment :). She is just a little thing i dont see how it can hurt. Curlies look cute in short do's at least to me. Im not a fan myself but if i see a straighter textured person and a curly with short hair the curly generally looks better. Think of it this way if you let her she gets a learning experiance if she doesnt like it and if she does she cant hold it against you int he future for not letting her do it :p

Quixii
June 29th, 2009, 10:23 PM
I would let her get it. I would privately be kinda sad/upset about it, but honestly? Just because I have long hair doesn't give me the right to inflict those wants onto others. I love my long hair. Do I encourage my siblings to grow out their hair? You bet I do. Do I forbid them from cutting it? Nope. Plus, she's three. She has many many many years ahead of her if she decides she really does like it long. =)

RancheroTheBee
June 29th, 2009, 10:24 PM
Honestly, she probably asked because she's tired of it, and wants to go short. Let her. It's her hair. If you don't let her do it, she's just probably going to cut it herself.

Bene
June 29th, 2009, 10:24 PM
oh, make sure you record her requesting a short hair cut. this way, if she hates it, she can't blame you.


this happened once with my 4 year old niece who decided one day that she wanted green toenails. after i cleared it with her mom, i did her nails. then an hour later, she decided that she hates the color green and almost threw a tantrum. luckily, my brother was videotaping the entire operation.

Nevermore
June 29th, 2009, 10:52 PM
I say kids of any age are old enough to make non-damaging, non-permanent alterations to their appearance including temporary tattoos (henna and stick on), hair styles/cuts, nail polish, clothing styles and so forth. As long as it won't hurt them or be permanent, there's no reason a kid can't wear one purple sock and one white sock, have rainbow nails or short/long hair.

And I think you need to set a good example for her by standing up for her choices when she's still young. That means no lying about why her hair is short. She's young, but her body is hers and this is a good way for you to show her that you respect that and are strong enough to stick up for her and not just do what other adults want you to do. Even if you think she won't remember this, there's a good chance she will remember something about it or about the subsequent times you'll probably need to defend her because of it.

Wind
June 29th, 2009, 11:25 PM
I say let her. I don't have kids, but I was forced to have long hair for many years as a child. No bangs, all one length. My mother didn't know how to care for it, and neither did it, so it was always a mess. After joining LHC I learned to love it, but the itch has always soft of been there. Cutting it up to my chin recently was very liberating! Even though she is very young, I don't see how a cut would be harmful, especially if the hair gets in her way. I would never leave clippies in it either at that age. :p

Dyan
June 29th, 2009, 11:44 PM
When my son was that age, my feeling was that if he was old enough to express an opinion about his clothes or hair, then I should respect his opinion and let him wear what he wanted. Of course, there were reasonable limits just as we all have limits on what we wear. It had to be weather appropriate and activity appropriate. And it had to be within the bounds of what is socially acceptable. So for the most part, I gave him the choices and he picked what he wanted.

I'd let your daughter have her way on her hair. After all, as it's been pointed out, it's not permenant and it'll grow out.

windinherhair
June 29th, 2009, 11:56 PM
I would say let her have it short if that is what she wants. I always wanted long hair and my mom kept it cut. It is a little opposite then what she is going through, but I know I always wished I had it longer during that time when I look back.

Tap Dancer
June 30th, 2009, 06:03 AM
And I don't even know if my stylist will do it. She seems the type stuck on images. We'll see.........

Refusing to give someone a certain haircut because of what they prefer is wrong. I'd stay away from people like that. MY hair + MY money = MY business. Just my :twocents:

Anyway, she should have her hair cut short. It's what she wants and it'll be easier to care for. She doesn't like her hair up and she doesn't like it down... I assume it gets tangled and dirty when she plays. Now the weather is hot, so it's a great time to cut it off.

JewelsSparkles
June 30th, 2009, 06:51 AM
Definitely let her get it cut as short as she wants it (if she complains later just remind her that you only did what she asked you to, but if she's been asking for it for months I seriously doubt she will complain about it being long!).

If you don't, she may just get fed up & cut it off herself & which way do you think is safer AND better looking? When my sister & I were young she wanted a fringe. Our parents said no as they did not want her to get her hair cut... a couple of weeks later we found her behind the couch cutting herself a fringe (it looked REALLY bad & it was too short to fix properly). After that they realised there is no point in arguing about things as silly & temporary as haircuts.

JewelsSparkles
June 30th, 2009, 06:52 AM
I seriously doubt she will complain about it being long!).

That should read: "I seriously doubt she will complain about it not being long"

(Darn typos :p)

redneckprincess
June 30th, 2009, 07:28 AM
so did you decide to do it? maybe just a little at a time...

eadwine
June 30th, 2009, 09:38 AM
Let her have it short. YOU are the long hair "freak", not her. Give her what she has been wanting for so long.

longhairedfairy
June 30th, 2009, 10:18 AM
If it doesn't turn out well it will always grow back later.:)

Eden Iris
June 30th, 2009, 10:38 AM
Based on my experience, three is old enough to know what she wants to look like and have very strong feelings about it. Cut her hair. She'll be happy and cute, and you won't have to detangle it.

Bunnyhare
June 30th, 2009, 10:43 AM
take some pictures, record what she has been saying and asking, stick it all in an envelope with the pictures, take her looking through magazines for what she likes, and go to the beautician! Then she can see what that feels like and make the next decision on her own! and you have proof for her later if she ever asks why did you let me do that?( kids ask those things!)

Ryanne
June 30th, 2009, 10:51 AM
If she wants it, let her have it short. It will grow back again later anyway.

Spike
June 30th, 2009, 11:04 AM
Ditto ditto--it's HER hair. If she wants it short, then cut it short.

When I was a tadlet, I wanted LONG HAIR. In the worst way. But I hated having my hair washed or combed, so mother kept it short--like ear/chin length. And when I asked about growing it long, the reply was always, "When you're ready to keep it washed and combed BY YOURSELF you can have long hair."

And that was the deal when my brother wanted his long--washed, combed, and styled. A ponytail is a style, after all, so that's how he wore his hair till the family male pattern baldness hit.

If she's not into the care and grooming routines, and in fact, is insisting she'd be happier with a cropped cut, then let her wear it short. And if she gets unhappy with the lack of options or being mistaken for a boy or what have you, then let her know she can change her mind.

brok3nwings
June 30th, 2009, 12:36 PM
Everyone should have the freedom to do what they want with their hair so i think you should let her do it, and i think that the reasons are really good ones. In such a young age they only want to be as confortable as they can :)

eresh
June 30th, 2009, 02:29 PM
Let her have short hair, it's her hair after all.
If it's in the way and irritating her in exploring those mudpuddles, that's good enough of a reason.


Before she cuts it herself ;)

daydreamer
June 30th, 2009, 05:04 PM
I'd probably let her have short hair too, as it's nice to let a kid make some of their own decisions about their hair/clothes as long as it isn't something harmful or against your beliefs. She's just little, so won't likely have to deal with any cultural issues over it.
If your stylist won't do it, you could always go somewhere else! It's not really their business to impose their preferences on you or your child.

RedJen
June 30th, 2009, 05:12 PM
I agree with the majority opinion here. When I was a kid, I was forced to have short hair and I hated not having a say in my own looks. As adorable as long hair is on little girls, I think it needs to be the child's decision. Very short hair on little girls can also be adorable.

Mabel Grey
June 30th, 2009, 05:56 PM
take some pictures, record what she has been saying and asking, stick it all in an envelope with the pictures, take her looking through magazines for what she likes, and go to the beautician! Then she can see what that feels like and make the next decision on her own! and you have proof for her later if she ever asks why did you let me do that?( kids ask those things!)

I think this is a great suggestion. But I was a kid that was forced to have permed and cut hair, and all I wanted was long hair. Oh I could go on with the hair trama... When it was long all Mom did to care for it was wash with dial soap. Maybe, doing this now will allow her to see the difference, instead of three days before kindergarten pictures and she cuts her own hair. Good Luck, you are a GREAT MOM for even asking this. Let us know how it turns out.

Flynn
June 30th, 2009, 06:11 PM
Little curly girls with short curly mops are the cutest thing ever!

Alun
June 30th, 2009, 06:53 PM
It's her hair. Just make her wait two weeks so you know she's sure. She may hate it instantly, but it will grow back.

neon-dream
June 30th, 2009, 06:55 PM
Yeah I'd let her do it, there's no point forcing her to keep a style she doesn't like :).

Paul KMF
June 30th, 2009, 07:43 PM
That's funny, my boys hate to get their hair cut, me and my wife are glad for it. My daughter likes to wear hers long but often says she wants it cut, but not too short! It's to her waist.

I think you should cut your daughter's hair (something I hardly ever say) and just hope she hates the new style.
Anyway, if you force her to wear it long then I'm sure she will hate to have longhair when she's older.

Paul

Dotlover
July 5th, 2009, 10:02 AM
Is that a good or a bad thing, particularily not so much... just that, she may be the only little girl with real short hair. Have you spoke with the father unit on this one to see how he reallyy feels about it?

and don't forget children are always developing their ideas of what things are and how they relate to them. It's a parents job to separate their fantasy from reality. For example: I one told a hair stylist I wanted short hair. I REALLY WANTED straight hair. That was a regret that I much later blamed my mother for, and thought she had massive miscommunication problems. But then again, sending me to kindergarten class with a note to the teacher in an envelope pinned to my shirt wasn't the wisest either....... With that said, yes, think twice about it.

I do also believe that true beauty is like fine wine.

chickpea
July 5th, 2009, 10:11 AM
I'm chiming in here with everyone else suggesting that your daughter should be allowed to get her hair cut. Please, please take her to a stylist who specializes in curly hair if you can find one. I had so many bad haircuts when I was younger because invariably the stylist had no clue how to cut curly/wavy hair.

The naturally curly site has a salon finder:

http://www.naturallycurly.com/curlsalons

Roseate
July 5th, 2009, 11:12 AM
My mom kept my hair around ear-to shoulder length my whole youth, which was fine with me.

One summer when I was about 4 I was obsessed with shorter hair, I remember asking my mom endless questions about it until she went ahead and took me to get it cut- I loved it! I had a sort of pixie/bowl cut hybrid that I'd never wear as an adult, but on a little kid it was cute. I lived in a small town in the SouthEast US, but I didn't get any flak about it that I remember. It looked good with my muddy dress, striped tube socks and sneakers!

So I agree, go for it. And if you're comfortable posting pics of your daughter, let us see the result! :)

redcelticcurls
July 5th, 2009, 12:06 PM
I'm chiming in here with everyone else suggesting that your daughter should be allowed to get her hair cut. Please, please take her to a stylist who specializes in curly hair if you can find one. I had so many bad haircuts when I was younger because invariably the stylist had no clue how to cut curly/wavy hair.

The naturally curly site has a salon finder:

http://www.naturallycurly.com/curlsalons

DItto on this.

Cutting curly hair is not like cutting straight hair.

Speckla
July 5th, 2009, 12:16 PM
I wouldn't go much shorter than shoulder if she has curly hair because it will curly up more and be even shorter. Plus, growing out curly hair tends to look mushroomish in the early stages of growing out.

purplebubba
July 5th, 2009, 12:47 PM
This sounds like one of those occasions where you can plan a special day for it. You could do the salon, a lunch, a shopping.
Or maybe something like a zoo or park.

Since this is her idea you could let her pick the salon instead of going to your stylist. Then she can have her own stylist or salon that was her choice.

Make a day of it.

Also remember that if she doesn't like the result there are plenty of short cuts to try. Since she's a kid it won't take as many months for her hair to be long enough to be shaped into some other cut. Let her know that there are lots of options and that its not a one shot deal. One bad short cut shouldn't mean automatically grow long. Unless she gives up on it.

The idea about magazines is a good one. You're not likely to find pictures of kids haircuts but you can get those hairstyle mags at stores that have an actual magazine aisle like Walmart or some drug stores. They are usually located in those aisles and not by the checkout. Look for ones like Sophisticates or Short Hair or Hairdo Ideas.

Jemoiselle
July 5th, 2009, 01:10 PM
I would let her cut it, being that I have been in her shoes exactly! When I was three, I had TB length hair, and to my Momma's horror I wanted to lop it all off into a pixiebob. I know your little gal is talking even shorter, but for my Momma it might as well have been hehe. She is one stubborn dramatic lady, and I love her to bits! She allowed me to after months of begging, and while she regretted it, I didn't at the time! Of course when I got older I had wished she said no, simply because I was never able to grow it back to that length as a kid. Now it is right back where it belongs, hehe. Anyways, you only get to live once! Off to the salon! :cheese:

*teeheehee*

HisForever
July 5th, 2009, 01:59 PM
Just let her, if she hates it, at least she knows. I cut mine off really short when I was 11, and well....I hated it! Never again lol. I awlays got mistaken for a boy because at my school we wore uniforms. It was just an awful feeling, and I would never want it that short again. Take some before and after pics if you can, Im sure it will turn out cute if she gets it cut :)

MadPirateBippy
July 5th, 2009, 03:04 PM
Let her cut it. If you cit the bottom half like a pixie and the top like a bowl cut, she'll still look girly and if she hates it, it wont take long for everything to come back.

I wouldn't take her out afterwards or make a big event of it, since you don't want her to cut her hair, making it a big happy thing with McDonalds and a park thrown in will probably send the wrong message.

noelgirl
July 5th, 2009, 03:25 PM
If she really wants it, she'll get it one way or another, with or without your help. When I was around that age, I got the bright idea to cut my own bangs right before a family portrait. It was not good, and the photographic evidence still hangs in my parents' house 20+ years later :p My point, hidden somewhere in that tangent, seems to be that if you take her to get it cut, she's more likely to end up with a style she's happy with than if you deny her and she takes matters into her own hands.

AmyJorgensen
July 5th, 2009, 03:49 PM
Heehee, I agree that she may cut her own. I'd let her get it cut because if you don't, sooner or later she will be rebellious and never want to try long hair nor appreciate it.

Fiferstone
July 5th, 2009, 05:45 PM
I was the opposite, I always wanted long hair, and after a certain point (when my mother tired of having to brush and braid it just to please me and my dad, who liked braids and pigtails on his little girl) I was in short cuts. I'd definitely accede to her wishes if she's really sure and it sounds like she is. She's not happy with having it long enough to get in her way, she doesn't like hair toys, and she can definitely get something that won't look "boyish" unlike what I had (literally the same cut as my brothers, done by the same barber who cut their hair). Perhaps you both can find some pictures of hair cuts she likes? I applaud you for considering to give her her "head" in this matter, so long as you both can agree on a "cute" cut, it's part of giving her as much control/autonomy as she can handle. Good for you!

lines-wine
July 6th, 2009, 04:57 AM
She's only three, but old enough to form an opinion. I say you give the the haircut she wants & as other posters have said, keep proof that it is what she desired.
Curly girls can look cute with short hair, but if she hates it, it will grow out soon enough.

whiteisle
July 6th, 2009, 05:11 AM
Update: We did it. Last Tuesday she got her hair cut short and she loves it! I'm not wild about the particular style but that's trivial and doesn't matter. She's happy as a lark! Thanks so much for the support and encouragement!

If she'll permit me :rolleyes: I'll try to get a pic up here later.

Zindell
July 6th, 2009, 07:03 AM
Wonderful! Glad she is happy with it. :-)

Scrofula
July 6th, 2009, 07:17 AM
Glad she likes it...I have a similar thing brewing with my almost 3 yo. Looking forward to seeing the pix

soopahgrover
July 6th, 2009, 07:23 AM
Hooray! Glad she loves it. I had a bowl cut for the first 5 or 6 years of my life because I had my father's fine hair and my thick haired momma didn't know what to do with it. I think that's why, anyway. I got called a boy a lot, but I don't think it bothered me. :)

Gotta love a kid who knows what she wants and asks for it at such a young age! She's years ahead of most kids in that department.

Mugili
July 6th, 2009, 07:35 AM
Wonderfull!
I'm glad, that she's so happy! Maybe a few years later your husband get the *Little Princess Style*.
Things change....

eresh
July 6th, 2009, 08:08 AM
Good to hear :-)

ladylibra
July 6th, 2009, 09:36 AM
I would have also voted, "Let her cut it." I too have a 3-year-old, but he's a boy. I wanted him to have a big fro like Mommy but... he says it's too hot and doesn't like to sit still to get it combed/detangled, or styled in any way, or even cut low with clippers! :rolleyes:

Some battles aren't worth fighting with 3-year-olds, honestly. :laugh: I'm glad you let her cut it and she is happy, meaning you will be happier too. ;)

whiteisle
July 6th, 2009, 09:53 AM
OK, here are a couple of pics. :D

http://i267.photobucket.com/albums/ii290/wcanderson/Hair%20Journal/IMG_0490-1.jpg

http://i267.photobucket.com/albums/ii290/wcanderson/Hair%20Journal/IMG_0489-1.jpg

Not too bad. It reminds me of a cross between the Haley Mills in "Parent Trap" and a Meg Ryan cut. It's cute. I personally would like to have the top layers a bit shorter but we'll see what it's doing in a few weeks.

BrianaFineHair
July 6th, 2009, 10:30 AM
So CUTE! :]

wavysara
July 6th, 2009, 10:41 AM
She's only three yrs old and she has many years ahead for long hair. :)

wavysara
July 6th, 2009, 10:42 AM
Naaw, she's so cuuute :D

Toadstool
July 6th, 2009, 11:24 AM
She's adorable!!

ladylibra
July 6th, 2009, 11:44 AM
Awwww... short and still girly and adorable. :love:

Fractalsofhair
July 6th, 2009, 12:48 PM
Congrats on the style! It looks wonderful! I had a bowl cut when I was a young child... That was awkward! (Don't ever trust an upset stylist, esp if he's dating or was dating the salon owner and wants to get revenge! XD) It's tricky with the social norms, I think, but I might have also had a harder time since, mine was a bowl cut, not a cute pixie! Generally, my mum thinks if it's not harmful, it's a good idea to let kids do what they want. If you lived in an area where your daughter's safety might be at risk due to bigots, I would suggest having her regrow or keep her hair length. However, if it's not a true risk for safety(Ie, you don't have neighbors that threaten to kill people etc for something silly like that) then it's fine and a good way for her to figure out what she wants. I personally love wigs for trying out new hair colors and styles, since they are fun!

My mum, she gave me one wall in the house for painting, since I was always painting on the walls all over the place. That little bit of freedom helped me make my own responsible choices, and understand the idea of moderation etc, and I think when parents are too controlling of their child, it tends to lead to more issues. Of course, I am a teenager, and thus biased, but a little bit of freedom that doesn't harm anyone gives people an outlet as opposed to encouraging them to rebel. The teens in my high school who have parents that say NO DRINKING EVER and such, they tend to be the ones that are... Well, party people to put it in a pg13 way. Rather as the parents that say, Ok, when you're 21 you can drink a little, but not too much, and maybe give their kids a glass of wine occasionally, but very rarely(Or a sip on New Years Eve, for teenagers etc), their kids tend to not do as many illegal substances. Of course, that's just what I've noticed.

And long hair really is tricky for a lot of kids. I do remember detangling my hair was very hard to do, except when I had frequent hot oil treatments, and thus stylists were always begging my mum to thin my hair and such. My mum and dad were wonderful with my hair, and my bowl cut was VERY annoying since it would fall into my eyes and clips didn't hold my hair at all, so that's probably why I want long hair now. For a 3 year old, she's probably not the sort to want to sit for 3-4 hours getting her hair detangled after a shower, and having to have it brushed a few times daily. I was a little older when my hair got really long though, so I was more able to wait for that amount of time, but it certainly was annoying. If she wanted long hair, it can easily be done for a little kid, but short hair on little kids can be easy as well. Short hair on adult women can get tricky since we can get expected to flat iron it and bleach it etc, which to me, is more work than detangling long hair and even doing hot oil treatments, but it's rare that little kids are expected to do all the things adult women are "encouraged" to do to their hair.

Any sort of style forced onto anyone is silly, and IMO wrong. My little nephew has a mohawk since he begged his mother since he was about 1, and he's 4 now(He's adorable, I need to get a photo of it... I swear, he'll end up a punk when he's older, he already asks me for punk CDs as birthday gifts, and well, it's hard time finding good PG punk music since he tends to read lyrics, and can read some pretty large words! XD), and his mother finally agreed to get it done. She doesn't like the work of spiking it, since he's 4 and spikes it in a rather messy way, or how people react, but they're generally OK with it, since he is a child and when you're a child and when you're very old, those are the times when people generally are ok with you having an odd style for your gender or society.

may1em
July 6th, 2009, 01:09 PM
It looks cute! Does she love it?

Bene
July 6th, 2009, 01:45 PM
awwwww, it looks so cute. AND, it's not a "boy" cut (which can be devastating at that age, i speak from personal experience), she looks very much like a little girl :) i hope she loves it!

ajr
July 6th, 2009, 02:50 PM
She's a cutie, and good for you both. She expressed what she wanted and you thought about it and did what you thought was best for her. It's only hair in the end and she looks great =)

Roseate
July 6th, 2009, 03:55 PM
Aw, CUTE! Nice cut. Not too boyish, but still should be short enough to stay out of her way. Great color she's got too! :redgrin:

whiteisle
July 6th, 2009, 04:54 PM
Great color she's got too! :redgrin:


I know! Isn't is sickening??!!?:p

redcelticcurls
July 6th, 2009, 05:03 PM
She looks so cute!!

RedJen
July 6th, 2009, 05:12 PM
Adorable! I'm so glad she's happy with it!

Mabel Grey
July 6th, 2009, 05:37 PM
If I could get my cowlicks to lay flat and it looked that cute I would chose short hair, also. Hope you both enjoy the extra time you now have to play.

feralnature
July 6th, 2009, 11:39 PM
When my youngest daughter was 4 years old, she wanted her hair cut short. First she cut all the hair short on her Barbie dolls. Then one day in the mall, she grabbed my hand and led me into the salon. After her short cute little hair cut, she grabbed my hand again and led me to a place get her ears pierced. I kid you not, she had it all planned at 4 years old! She is 24 now and is still a glamour girl!

noelgirl
July 7th, 2009, 06:56 AM
When my youngest daughter was 4 years old, she wanted her hair cut short. First she cut all the hair short on her Barbie dolls. Then one day in the mall, she grabbed my hand and led me into the salon. After her short cute little hair cut, she grabbed my hand again and led me to a place get her ears pierced. I kid you not, she had it all planned at 4 years old! She is 24 now and is still a glamour girl!

Isn't it funny how they have such strong ideas at that age? My boss has a daughter who's almost 4, and she has long hair and loves wearing it down. She wouldn't even wear it up for ballet class! My boss actually involved me in the solution - she asked me, a "real ballerina" (ha!), to tell her why real ballerinas wear their hair up for ballet class. And it worked!