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Culdayne
June 20th, 2009, 05:01 PM
I am betting this has been discussed a few times. :)

It takes a ton of discipline (for me, at least!) to grow my hair. I have wanted it long forever. I've been around these boards for a while and if I hadn't made some rash decisions, I would be at my goal.

I am almost at APL. This probably seems really short for many here. :o

I dream of being waist length by next year.

It is quite a feat for me not to mess with coloring and keeping with henna and indigo.

I would love to hear what others think about the discipline it takes to grow hair. After all we are talking years for long lengths. Years, and years and years. :cheese:

VanillaTresses
June 20th, 2009, 05:07 PM
Wow, that sure sounds like me up and down. I don't even want to think about it. I don't know if it is a certain personality or what, but leaving my hair alone is SOOOOOOOOOOOOoooOOOoo hard. I can be on one page one day, and the next-- BAM, all of that progress is down the loo. I have not yet given up all hope though, even though I started this journey years ago and find myself at pixie length today. I feel like if I can get the mindset right, the hair will follow.

Never give up! We CAN do it! :cheese:

demitasse
June 20th, 2009, 05:10 PM
It's like watching paint dry, quite honestly. And places like LHC encourage healthier hair but they can also encourage a slight obsessiveness to monitoring growth. :)

Next time you get the cutting/dying/whatever itch, vent it out here first. Sometimes it's easier to find discipline in those around you.

horseprincess
June 20th, 2009, 05:15 PM
yeah its hard... I'm used to complaining about my hair, and not knowing what to do with with the dry, brittle ends I caused. I used to just pick off all the split ends with my fingers...really bad for my hair! I guess its easier knowing that treating my hair well will help it stay healthy and grow longer...

VanillaTresses
June 20th, 2009, 05:16 PM
Ha- that would be GREAT, except every time I "make up my mind" to cut or color it always seems to be a very impulsive decision, one which I do not want criticized at the time.... (not trying to be snarky... that is just the way that it really is for me)

That is the problem, really. I think that it is a different personality type.

Gumball
June 20th, 2009, 05:32 PM
For me any bit of discipline comes in the routines I've picked up and tried. When it comes to hair growing, well that's what it does so if I leave it alone that's what it will continue to do. I, however, never quite jumped on the measurement-happy bandwagon. When I hit waist and noticed it then I said "neato!" to myself. Same when I realized wet and pulled straight it hit just below hip.

As long as my mind is occupied on the products I prefer to use in my haircare routine, the growth just ambles on! I realized that it grew more one day when I tried to do a style and realized I needed to modify it. The less you pay attention to growth, the more often growth may sneak up and surprise you.

horseprincess
June 20th, 2009, 05:37 PM
The less you pay attention to growth, the more often growth may sneak up and surprise you.

very true, I remember when I was seven or eight I never messed with or worried about my hair, and it got long. One day I was like "Wow Mom, my hair is long!". :rolleyes:

Aries_jb
June 20th, 2009, 05:51 PM
I think I lacked discipline before I joined LHC when it came to length. I was at BSL and thought the ends looked thin so I chopped it to shoulder. Now I wish that I had just maintained it with microtrims until it thickened. After my last recent trim, I no longer have a desire to cut and am comfortable waiting for it to grow. Sometimes I get impatient, but nothing will really make it grow faster but time.

Now where I really lack in discipline is my inability to say no to buying and trying different products. My hair is not fussy, I am! If there's something out there that works better, smells better, is more natural, or gives me more bang for my buck, then I want it! However, I worry that all of my product testing may hurt my hair in the long run and that I should treat it better in that regard.

gmdiaz
June 20th, 2009, 06:39 PM
Impulsive decision making and long hair do not easily go together but there's a trick to it, that works for me.

I think it helps to decide on a realistic goal and then to work towards that goal taking baby steps. I like to work on mini-goals. Try being obsessive about your hair in an off centered way. For instance, focus on hair toys, or new up-does or taking photos of your hair at various lengths etc., try out interesting haircare recipes, something//anything else related to but not actually about your hair being any certain length.

When you get that I've got to do something new and exciting, impulsive feeling for whatever reason, instead of choosing to dye, cut or totally restyle your look suddenly, work on learning a new updo and then finding some earrings that really stand out with it, and then when the next impulsive wave hits, get a cool hair toy, a new bottle of shampoo. . .this is how to get long hair, if that's what you really want long term.

Don't do anything impulsively to your hair that will take years to recover and be happy with your current length. . .experiment to see what all you CAN do with it. There are special things that you can do with your hair at certain lengths that you cannot do at others, so make the most out of where you are!

It's a WHOLE lot less fun, when you're feeling impulsive, to have to wait for the color to grow out of your hair, or wait for you hair to grow out from a layered style, when you wanted all along to have long hair with a blunt cut.

And just think, once the wave of crazy decision making passes, you'll be able to take out your new hair toy and let your hair tumble back down, longer than ever.

smerrie
June 20th, 2009, 07:01 PM
I agree! It is so so hard for me to just let things be and grow it out - I always go in for trims or to "even it up" or to "try bangs" and then my hair never gets past shoulder!
UGH.
I've been wanting to grow it out for almost 3 years now, and it is STILL just below my shoulders!

Natalia
June 20th, 2009, 07:06 PM
Thankfully the only impulsive thing ive ever done to my hair was dye it. And other than the damage it casue my fine fine thin hair (:( ) i couldnt be happier with the decision :D. I cant dye anymore because i am allergic but i am derermined to keep as dark as possible. Other than that i have cut bangs and layers but those were well thought through and i have been happy with them other than how hard it is to braid with layers!

My hardest thing is not getting disapointed by lack of results :(. My hair grows so so slowly and there hasnt been much i can do to help that. My hair is also fine/thin/and dry so it breaks. Did even before i dyed it. I just need to have buckets of patience especially for growth. Where alot of people get almost an inch a month it takes me about 4 - 5 sadly. I am doing better now with vitamins and supplements so hopefully that and only doing trims when needed with dusting as nessacary will help me see some results. Ive been stuck in the same about 3 inch range for many years :(

Darian Moone
June 20th, 2009, 07:07 PM
It takes loads of discipline, at least for me. I've reached my goal (TB) twice since I've been here, but have messed with color and cuts a couple of times as well, so I'm on my THIRD attempt to get to my goal length. So far for me the problem has not been getting there, it's staying there. I get need to get past the frustration I feel once I pass waist at having to wear my hair up so much of the time.

gmdiaz
June 20th, 2009, 07:12 PM
It takes loads of discipline, at least for me. I've reached my goal (TB) twice since I've been here, but have messed with color and cuts a couple of times as well, so I'm on my THIRD attempt to get to my goal length. So far for me the problem has not been getting there, it's staying there. I get need to get past the frustration I feel once I pass waist at having to wear my hair up so much of the time.

Maybe you'd be happier with your length just a little longer than waist? Just keep it there. Then you could wear it down most of the time but still put it up. And it's still really long and beautiful!

Themyst
June 20th, 2009, 07:14 PM
Discipline, indeed. I found it was easiest for me to just keep my hair up in a bun (or big clip when it was shorter). It really kept my mind off it while it was growing. Then one day, you take it down and you notice it is draping over your arm, getting stuck in your jeans as you get dressed, and after that it just starts getting stuck in all kinds of places ... :whistle:

EdG
June 20th, 2009, 07:28 PM
"Long hair is timeless: trends come and go, seasons change, and nations rise and fall (*), all in the blink of an eye to a longhair." :meditate:

(*) Germany reunited and the former Soviet Union collapsed while I was first growing my hair.

I'll be sure to post if I notice any continental drift. :D
Ed

nowxisxforever
June 20th, 2009, 07:51 PM
It really doesn't take any discipline for me since I hate chemical dye jobs, perms, heat-styling and short cuts anyway. There is ABSOLUTELY no appeal for me with any of these things.

So I practice benign neglect most of the time, and have since it was short, and then I will come back to it and be excited and play with it and talk about it and...you know, go back and forth. Hair-hair-hair, tired of hair, benign neglect, take it down one day and realize it grew 3 inches and go OMG hair hair hair hair again!

I understand that for a lot of people it does take discipline not to do bad things to it, though. Hang in there!

Flotsum
June 20th, 2009, 07:52 PM
I have wanted to grow my hair long since I was very young. I did not find any helpful advice until I was an adult. Even then I was ready to cut when it did not look right. (one side seemed to be longer than the other or thinner.) I recently cut my hair very short and I wish I had waited a bit longer before I did so.

I feel like long hair is a strong possibility for me but it would be nice if hair was as easy to grow as it is to destroy.

Dementia1013
June 20th, 2009, 07:57 PM
It's hard. As you can see I still color, but I don't use anymore heating devices, I miss warm showers, I can't just nod off anywhere I have to stop and braid my hair and now curl the end with a perm paper and pillow curler. (thanks Torrinpage <3) I swear my hair was growing faster BEFORE I started measuring...

Darian Moone
June 20th, 2009, 08:36 PM
Maybe you'd be happier with your length just a little longer than waist? Just keep it there. Then you could wear it down most of the time but still put it up. And it's still really long and beautiful!

Thank you gmdiaz. :flower:

I have had the suggestion before that I keep my hair at hip length from DH. I'm actually going to consider what you said. It may be the solution.

VanillaTresses
June 20th, 2009, 08:53 PM
"Long hair is timeless: trends come and go, seasons change, and nations rise and fall (*), all in the blink of an eye to a longhair." :meditate:

(*) Germany reunited and the former Soviet Union collapsed while I was first growing my hair.

I'll be sure to post if I notice any continental drift. :D
Ed

Very inspirational, I wish that I could just let my hair happen like that. 2009 could be my 1990... :D

nancy33936
June 20th, 2009, 08:57 PM
Every time I have a bad hair day I think about should i just go and get it cut short again.

ericthegreat
June 21st, 2009, 01:12 AM
Discipline? YIKES! You mean the old school kind of discipline where your father whips out his steel belt, that kind of discipline? :D

Actually, for me it was simply embracing who I truly am. I never felt myself as a child when my parents forced me to get a short buzz cut, so I vowed that once I grew old enough I would get to make decisions on how long I truly wanted my hair to be. And this has blossomed into me finding my inner voice and now not only do I say how I should wear my hair, I say what outfit I should wear today or where I'd like to eat, what career path I want to partake in, and I get to say what kind of person I want to be and the kind of legacy I want to leave behind.

Heavenly Locks
June 21st, 2009, 01:31 AM
For me the discipline doesn't come with the care, or the growing itself...but in being true to my choice. The pull of societal 'norms' can be quite a force sometimes. :)

Gothic Lolita
June 21st, 2009, 01:42 AM
I've never had a problem with growing myself, but my sister has. about once or twice a year she needs to cut, immediately. I challene her to grow and we set a bet: if she managed to grow to BSL without cutting, I'd buy her a nice hairtoy or makeup. It worked, sometimes you have to fool yourself a little.

I've managed growing by setting only small goals, not looking all the time at my long-term goal and buying some nice things for my hair now and then which I only can you with a certain length.

carinkla
June 21st, 2009, 02:05 AM
mmm its not much discipline for me. I never really wanted to dy or follow the fashion (since I decided long ago that I am not 'hip' anyway ;) ) And most of my youth I had hair till over my shoulders..so the way was a to long was a little shorter for me then for people who start out with short hair

desertgirl
June 21st, 2009, 03:18 AM
You have described me very well! I am a 'recovering' impulsive cutter (almost a year now since the last impulse!). I used to cut whenever I was getting tired of it (wasn't growing fast enough...you mean it doesn't grow from bob to waist overnight????) and before that I had a problem with coloring it (5 years since my last permanent dye job).

I'm currently growing my hair as a way of reclaiming my (epic style) femininity.

The biggest help for me over the last year is having a support group (surprising not LHC, though you all are very helpful!) of people who want my hair to be long. Before now, I had people around me (Americans) who would say, "oh, that's a great idea" if I had an impulse and wanted to cut it. Now, my newer friends (Africans, with slow growing, rougher and drier hair...the environment here doesn't help) get sad. I feel as though I would be letting them down too!

In a couple months I'll be moving and spending a year and a half away from these friends. It's a goal of mine to let my hair grow and grow so I can come back and surprise them with how much it has grown. Knowing they are supporting me, helps me overcome the impulses.

Learning new things and trying new hair-dos really helps too!

Melisande
June 21st, 2009, 03:51 AM
I've never looked at it like that but it makes sense. I always saw it the other way around. When I still believed that you have to cut every six weeks I always felt like an undisciplined weakling for having my ends cut once every two years... and I never wore my hair in a more fashionable style than an outgrowing bob...

I think the most important thing is to let the wish for change GO. There won't be visible change, drama, excitement and all the other things you can have when you re-vamp your style every few months. When you let your hair grow, there is no way to speed up things. You need patience and the willingness to put up with boredom. Yes, you can take nutritional supplements, you can learn new updos, learn to use plant dyes, herbal rinses and spend a fortune on hairtoys. All this is nice but it won't make your hair grow dramatically faster.

If you want long hair, you have to accept that. The payoff will come but it won't come as fast as for others. I am a conservative type, I guess ;-), and I like that. I never felt it was difficult. I would have found it much more difficult to be trendy, up to date and waste hours every month at a stylist's....

But thanks to the boards, I understand better now that not for everyone, this "need to update" seems like a superfluous pain in the backside to abandon happily. I always thought I'm the one without discipline...

On the German boards, we had just now a wave of people cutting back to pixie because they tampered with their hair so much that it broke off - or ended up in a color they hated. The longhair philosophy of benign neglect really seems to work.

Tap Dancer
June 21st, 2009, 04:04 AM
I'm trying harder than ever to be gentle now. I'm trying to slow down when I comb my hair and I'm trying to take extra care when removing elastics. And I feel so sad now when I hear hairs snapping. *Sigh* I have some damage near the top of my head and I don't want more damage. But don't worry; we'll all reach our goals sooner or later. :cheese:

hazelnut
June 21st, 2009, 05:13 AM
It's not so much discipline, as it is the patience part of it all. Lately I've been on one of my many my-hair-is-not-growing-and-I-hate-it-with-a-passion trips. The time and effort it takes to grow it out is definantly something I'm not used to. It's one of those things where you wish you could control it, but you know you can't. And you just have to wait for nature to take it's course. But, all in all, the reward for waiting is great: healthy, beautiful hair. :)

RavennaNight
June 21st, 2009, 07:40 AM
I just find it takes a lot of patience, and discoplining yourself to deal with being so patient. Like demitasse said, it's like watching paint dry sometimes.

hellkitty
June 21st, 2009, 08:03 AM
For me, the discipline point was right about APL--BSL. Pretty much once I can put it in a solid pony or a good french braid without layers flipping and flopping out all over the place, it got much better. To the point where I don't really notice it grew until someone who hasn't seen me in a while make a comment.

So, for me, once I have a rock solid hairstyle I can do in five minutes or less, that I know will look good and last all day, the growing takes care of itself. But getting to that point---eurgh! I particularly hate growing out bangs! Having done that two or three times, any time I even think I might want bangs, I remember what a pain in the butt it was the last several times.

My urge was always to color. And now the hennaheads have kidnapped me!

HK

naomimcc
June 21st, 2009, 08:30 AM
I've got discipline out of my yinyang apparently. I 've been growing for 13 years and I'm only at tailbone! LMAO~

Bucatini
June 21st, 2009, 08:56 AM
Calling it discipline is an interesting perspective-- for me it was more learning to IGNORE than learning to be disciplined.

After two years (wow!!) I can say that I genuinely have no urge to cut or trim. When I get bored I practice braiding or do a new treatment instead of daydreaming about a new cut. Now trims are like an oil change- it's based on time and mileage, not desire! And it's for maintenance and health, not for style.

You'll get there. Be patient and wear it up to help you forget about it.

Delila
June 21st, 2009, 09:37 AM
I do think it gets easier as your hair gets longer.

Pixie to waist was really HARD for me, and in some ways I'm still amazed that I made it. For a long time I just spaced out hair cuts, down to 3 a year (from about six), then I just kept my hair up in a pony loop with my bangs held back.

I've noticed in recent months that I think less about my hair than I used to. I went though a long phase of experimenting with products, and have found a routine that works for my hair and my lifestyle. I can clean/condition my hair and get on with life.

At shorter lengths, though, I used my hair care experiments and my hair toys as a way to distract myself from the urge to trim. Seems to have worked, and along the way I've gotten a lot more comfy with my hair. :cheese:

As others have said, I think it is important to figure out what your goals really are. If maintaining at shoulder, APL, BSL, waist or tailbone works for you, then that's what you should do. 'Having long hair' means different things for different people, so try not to stress about finding your own path.