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View Full Version : Attempting Cone Free... Thinking of giving up already



Kiraela
June 19th, 2009, 05:46 AM
I've been trying a -cone free hair regimine for the last week and a half, and I have just one question. What was I thinking??

Seriously, though, how long is this dry, straw-like, frizzy, poofy, unmanageable, untameable, irritating, splitting, shedding THING going to stay on my head before it turns back into my once-beloved hair?

Does it ever END? :(

Is the cone-free transition always like this?

I oil with evoo, for the moment - I get dry, oily ends, but they don't break off as badly as they would without oil. I'm using suave naturals Strawberry S&C, since that's what I can afford.

VanillaTresses
June 19th, 2009, 06:09 AM
Hm, when I have used Suave Naturals I have had to CWC, so maybe you could try that? Alternatively (or in combination) you could also try majorly diluting the shampoo-- get a large plastic cup and mix the shampoo with water before pouring it over your head. Wishing you luck!

Kiraela
June 19th, 2009, 06:12 AM
Thanks! I will try that. At this point, anything could be an improvement.

Heavenly Locks
June 19th, 2009, 06:13 AM
Is it possible that you are seeing damage that you didn't know you had? I hear 'cones can be pretty good at glossing over some kinds of damage...

holomi
June 19th, 2009, 06:14 AM
I'm not sure if the transition is like this for some. I know when I personally stopped using cones my hair loved it.

I just got a trim the other day and the stylist used cones. I can feel the coating on my hair and it is quite unpleasant. I can't wait to clarify and get those silicones off.

Kiraela
June 19th, 2009, 06:15 AM
I'm pretty sure that's part of it, HL. the last 12"+ of hair are still fairly damaged from a bleaching... incident several years ago. I guess the cones were hiding how horrible it was. (I think I was happier not knowing!)

Dars
June 19th, 2009, 06:39 AM
I have been using a no-cone conditioner for roughly the same amount of time and experienced dry damaged ends. I agree that cones cover up the damage well. I did S&D on them straight away and it feels better. Generally I've found no-cones to be good to me, I last washed my hair 4 days ago and it still looks fine whereas before I would have to wash around now. Hope your transition brightens up soon!! :flower: I am going to try a CO wash tomorrow or the next day and I hope this will improve my hairs condition even more. Perhaps a more moisturising wash like CO or CWC could benefit you.

GlassEyes
June 19th, 2009, 06:44 AM
Did you clarify before you started?

If not, I would, then try again. If you did, you can always just go BACK to cones. XD; They aren't the root of all evil.

jivete
June 19th, 2009, 06:46 AM
You might want to try a heavier conditioner. I can't use just a light weight conditioner like Suave or V05. I need a heavier conditioner like Biolage conditioning balm or generic or something similar.

Usually for CO, V05/Suave is the "shampoo" and then I follow with a heavier conditioner. Or, if I'm using something else to wash with, soapnuts, diluted poo, shikakai, V05/Suave is the conditioner I use to coat my ends. I still always use something heavier afterwards.

Kirin
June 19th, 2009, 06:47 AM
I have problems with some cones, but not all. No cone gave me extremely dry hair, and very tangled crunchy ends. In my case I chalk this up to the high salt enviornment I live in (east coast on the shore).

melrose1985
June 19th, 2009, 06:58 AM
I think the Sauvé Coconut conditioner is the thickest/best out of that line. Maybe try another flavor?

I used the cherry blossom and the sea breeze and didn’t like those as much.

Also maybe only washing your roots and not all of it. I'm cone free and i don’t remember the transition from cones, but now i wouldn't go back because i don’t have the build up problem any more.

hellkitty
June 19th, 2009, 06:59 AM
Just a probably-not-useful thought: you could maybe wean yourself off cones? Going cold turkey might be a shock to you and your hair.

Semi-related story: I tried to go straight into CO washing. My hair was a grease pit. I couldn't take it! But I liked the idea of being gentler with my hair than most shampoos. So what I've started doing is every *other* wash is CO, alternating with a sulfate free shampoo/condish wash. THIS, my hair likes. I still get to be les harsh on my hair (using 'poo half as often) and I'm not slimy.

Perhaps you could get similar good results alternating a 'cone shampoo with a CO wash? Then you could possibly stretch the number of times you cone out sloooowly, so it isn't such a radical change?

HK, just a theory.

LaurelSpring
June 19th, 2009, 07:01 AM
I'm not sure if the transition is like this for some. I know when I personally stopped using cones my hair loved it.

I just got a trim the other day and the stylist used cones. I can feel the coating on my hair and it is quite unpleasant. I can't wait to clarify and get those silicones off.

This was my experience. I didnt realize that under that greasy coated oiling feeling hair I had nice wavy shiny bouny hair. The times I have gone back and used cones I couldnt wait to get that stuff off of my hair.

Honey39
June 19th, 2009, 07:08 AM
Well, I know that cones are often treated like instruments of the devil, but I don't think that's the case at all.

For me, having curly hair I discovered that conditioner-only washing (i.e. no shampoo) is utter bliss for my hair. Cones do lead to build-up which can only be shampooed out, so I therefore prefer to be cone-free so I don't have to use shampoo. However, if your routine is to shampoo/condition, and cones suit your hair, then why not carry on using them? No build-up because you always wash them out, and you like your hair again!

CO-washing would be too light on its own for my hair, I always use a very good quality leave-in conditioner afterwards, and that really gives my hair the slip and shine that I need.

But seriously, if it's not working for you, then you need a different routine! LOADS of posters here with gorgeous hair use cones - it's whatever suits you!

RavennaNight
June 19th, 2009, 07:12 AM
The only way cone-free worked for me was to CO with VO5 and shampoo occasionally. Otherwise, last year when I first tried it, my hair was a dry poofy tangly unmanageable mess. Then I went cone-free a second time and tried poobars. They were good, until I took a good pic of the back of my head a month later and that initial glossy poobar look gave way to dry looking dull hair. So I gave up on that stuff. I use cones. The key is moderation. Don't douse your hair with a serum and a coney poo and a coney condish. Just a cone conditioner is enough. And if you alternate with cone-free CO, you got balance.

Heavenly Locks
June 19th, 2009, 07:18 AM
Also, I heard that the suave coconut has protein in it....maybe it's too much for your hair?

GlassEyes
June 19th, 2009, 07:32 AM
Also, I heard that the suave coconut has protein in it....maybe it's too much for your hair?
It does. It's hidden, surprisingly--the others of the ine that boast protien have it clearlly on the front, but it is there.

It's why I can only use it off and on.

Katze
June 19th, 2009, 09:53 AM
I'm actually wondering if the oil could be the problem. Many people find that too much oil makes their ends "crispy".

'cones do make my hair less frizzy for the short term, but irritate my scalp in the long term, so I mostly don't use them.

But I am also thinking the problem could be something else besides 'cones. 1) not clarifying enough, or 2) your hair is dry and is asking for moisture. Maybe a deep sulfate wash, followed by a 'cone free SMT would help?

MandaMom2Three
June 19th, 2009, 09:54 AM
That is what made me try no cones the first time, and it ended the same. I hated how my hair looked and felt. A while ago though my hair started feeling like that all the time so I decided I would go BACK to no cones, see the real unmasked condition of my hair and start working on it. Yes it was gross, dry and frizzy but I'm determined to focus on giving my hair what it needs instead of just shutting it up with cones :p I stopped using any sulfates, as my hair is in rough enough shape as it is I want NOTHING harsh on it. I CO every other day and use a shampoo bar once a week. I gave up trying coconut oil, it didn't do anything for my hair. Avocado oil and castor oil are working best for me, i want to try camellia as well. I've discovered it's not enough to oil, if you aren't using the right oil for your hair, it's a lesson in futility! I am giving my hair deep moisture treatments several times a week and my hair is already HUGELY improved. It still LOOKS frizzy, but it FEELS like silk! It's only ever felt like straw before. So I figure I have the battle half won! I've joined the "wear your hair up" challenge and it's helping a lot. Since I can't SEE the frizz it doesn't bug me and I can continue to pamper my hair without it looking bad in the process. Obviously you have to do what you think best but personally I would find a way to push through and focus on finding what your hair needs to get better, for me at least cones were just a band aid.

teela1978
June 19th, 2009, 09:56 AM
You might want to try a heavier conditioner. I can't use just a light weight conditioner like Suave or V05. I need a heavier conditioner like Biolage conditioning balm or generic or something similar.

Usually for CO, V05/Suave is the "shampoo" and then I follow with a heavier conditioner. Or, if I'm using something else to wash with, soapnuts, diluted poo, shikakai, V05/Suave is the conditioner I use to coat my ends. I still always use something heavier afterwards.

This. Were you using a thick conditioner when you were doing cones? If you've suddenly switched to a light, watery vo5 or suave conditioner (at least their cone-free cheapie conditioners), your hair is having more than one thing changed on it. There are a few thicker conditioners without cones.

This one (http://www.drugstore.com/products/prod.asp?pid=172529&catid=73404&trx=GFI-0-RVP-60&trxp1=73404&trxp2=172529&trxp3=1&trxp4=2&btrx=BUY-GFI-0-RVP-60) and this one (http://www.drugstore.com/products/prod.asp?pid=162645&catid=10335) are both availiable at any supermarket/walmart in the USA, so finding thick and moisturizing conditioners in a 'normal' store is feasible. I'd start there if you really want to go cone-free.

ETA: ain't nothing wrong with using suave shampoo though. The matching shampoo for at least one of my above non-cone conditioners contains dimethicone. I never match my shampoo/conditioner :)

I tend to go more light-cone. I have 2 conditioners, one of the above and a coney one in my shower and I switch back and forth depending on how my hair is doing that day... and my mood.

Dyan
June 19th, 2009, 01:01 PM
Seriously, though, how long is this dry, straw-like, frizzy, poofy, unmanageable, untameable, irritating, splitting, shedding THING going to stay on my head before it turns back into my once-beloved hair?

It took several months for me. But, yes, it does end. :)

rhubarbarin
June 19th, 2009, 01:13 PM
It sounds just like when I went off cones.. and cones damaged my hair incredibly (although I did some other stuff that wasn't very kind for it), although I had no idea given how beautiful and silky they made it feel.

I had crap hair for about 6 months after I stopped using them. Now it is extremely well-behaved but I am still growing out the breakage caused in large part by cones. My virgin (never-coned) hair is beautiful and easily managed.

Kiraela
June 19th, 2009, 01:47 PM
I normally only wash the scalp area - I try to keep the shampoo off the ends as best I can. The virgin hair is happy, but the damaged stuff - It may be TOO damaged for this. I would rather be happier with my hair while it's growing out and I am trimming damage.

After reading all your replies, I think I am going to try SMT (If I can figure out how!) , get a better oil for my hair (evoo and I are having a falling out, heh), and if all else fails, go back to cones. I loved the way my hair felt on them and I wash with a sulfate shampoo often enough that I have never gotten buildup.

Cinnamon Hair
June 20th, 2009, 12:14 AM
I think maybe you just need a richer/thicker conditioner. If you can, try Biolage conditioning balm. It is pricey, but not incredibly so. When I use cone free conditioners on my hair that are not moisturizing enough, I can tell the difference. I call it "brillo pad hair" but basically my hair just feels rough even with the conditioner on it.

Combing in the shower when I don't have a good conditioner is hell. I know a conditioner is good if it makes my hair feel like it is coated in snot (sorry for the scary image :) ) when I put it on. Then when I try to comb in the shower, it is a breeze and will detangle each section in only 2-3 strokes, if that. I swear, using the right conditioner makes a huge difference; it is like night and day.

Unofficial_Rose
June 20th, 2009, 04:36 AM
I do think finding the right cone-free conditioner can be tricky, especially if you have some damage to your hair.

Extra-moisturising ones are Aussie Miracle Moist and Aubrey Organics Honeysuckle Rose. They're the only coneless conditioners that are moisturising enough for my hair. Also, if you put a teeny amount of oil and rub until you just have a sheen on your palms, then work it into towel-dried hair, I've found this does wonders for frizz.

Ursula
June 20th, 2009, 10:00 AM
You haven't mentioned what 'cone products you were using before you decided to go 'cone free. It makes a difference - there is a noticable difference between how a rinse-out conditioner with one 'cone ingredient at the bottom of the list behaves, versus using an "anti-frizz" silicone leave-in that is almost pure 'cones.

Often, 'cone products wind up sealing moisture out of the hair, particularly if used heavily and without frequent clarifying and rich non-cone moisturizing treatments to help keep the hair moisturized under the 'cones. People here who do use 'cones often find it beneficial to pay attention to clarifying regularly, and using moisture treatments after clarifying and before re-applying their 'cone product. If you were using a product very heavy in 'cones, it might also help to use one that is light in 'cones, if you like 'cones, rather than completely sealing off your hair, and quickly getting heavy buildup.

For now, I'd suggest that you do one or several good moisture treatments. The SMT recipe is excellent for this, particularly if you choose a cone-free low- or no- protien conditioner as its base.

Protien in your conditioner may be helpful with any damage you have, but only after you've gotten your hair well-moisturized first. Protien works best on well-moisturized hair, but can cause crunchies on hair that is already dry.

shortgoinglong
June 20th, 2009, 10:50 AM
Hi!
This is only my opinion, but some people have better hair using cones than not. Usually these people have thick, coarse types of hair. My hair is only neck length right now, but I had waist length super thick hair for 18 years, so I know what you are talking about. Growing up, I always used the Suave Naturals S&C or the V05 S&C because that was all my mom could afford. I always had frizzy, dry hair like a rats nest that took hours to comb out. :silly: As soon as I left home and started using cones (Dove, Pantene etc)my hair suddenly became soft, silky and managable. After hearing cones were bad, I went cone free again for a year and always had dry, frizzy hair again. My conclusion is some hair likes cones and some does not. I am not willing to have bad hair days all the time to be cone free. My sister, however, is cone free and has beautiful locks. My hair is virgin and has not been colored.

sedonia
June 20th, 2009, 10:11 PM
I have gone cone free several times -- with shampoo bars even. I love the volume and texture it gives my hair!

My problem, and the reason I have cones on my hair right now, is that my hair breaks and sheds much more without cones. I hear and feel the hairs snapping with even the most gentle handling.

So now I go through alternating phases. When I really want big hair I go cone-free. Then I get concerned about the breakage and go back.

AmyJorgensen
June 21st, 2009, 08:26 AM
I think I am having a similar cone free problem. I have been cone free for about 4 months and my hair is just horrible to manage. It looks very nice when it is brushed out, but it snaps when I look at it cross eyed, and it tangles super fast and severe when it is down and is very difficult to detangle. I am using Suave coconut conditioner, Dr. Bronner's to shampoo the scalp only, and I make a leave in/detangler spray w/ watered down Suave coconut conditioner and some apricot oil. I also do a cold water rinse. My hair often feels like crunchy straw and brittle in the length. I am so sick of this I may go back to cones. So, someone said the Suave coconut has protein which gives some people trouble. Before I was using Pantene Daily Moisture Renewal and I was coney and mostly happy. ( I don't even know if that one has protein too or not?) So, which Suave conditioners don't have protein? By the way, I do have a water softener system, and getting rid of it is not an option. Any thoughts on what is going wrong before I have a fit and go back to cones?

Melisande
June 21st, 2009, 08:44 AM
Amy, why not switch between cone and no-cone products? If your hair looks better with, use a coney conditioner from time to time.

I think a lot depends on the amount and frequency of application, and on the kind of cones. There are many different -cones and -xanes, some of them hardly build up.

I never had problems with going cone-free, I loved my hair again when that plasticky feeling was gone. But I don't think I would have stuck with such a nightmare scenario...

cones are not devil's work, and if cone free doesn't work for you, I'd say: try to re-introduce them gradually.

PS: But I wouldn't decide that after ten days. I'd try for hm, three weeks up to a month and then judge whether it's worth my while.

Bunnyhare
June 21st, 2009, 09:15 AM
I too have the problem..I have been trying to go cone free and W/O..myhair feels SO nice when i wash and condish with pantene when its wet, but the W/o and no cones feels better dry..I do seem to shed and break more with no cones..I have had to do a few dilute shampoos since i get sweaty and the w/o doesn't cut that for me. But with the no cones wash/condish it still doesn't feel as nice as the pantene..I guess it is all about finding what works for us...what a game! no wonder people trade products on the swap board!HEEHEE Hope you find your solution as its all about happy hair here!love to all!

Desideira
June 21st, 2009, 10:04 AM
I had the same problem. I was trying to go cone free about one year ago but the result was frizzy, poofy hair that was breaking easily. It was time when I was dying my hair at salon once a mont for light blonde and I just coudlnt live tihaut products full of silicoens and other stuff. I was using mainly kerastase. It was the only thing that was able to make my hair possibly looking but I knew and I coudl feel that its just like makup. Underneth my hair was like a straw. :((

When I started going cone free I coudl see my hair in its actual shape...It was terrible.
I realized that all those expensive products form salons did nothing for nourishing my hair.
When I started to take interest in chemical components used in cosmetics, read about toxicidity of soem igridents I really wanted to go naural. But most shampos did nto alter enougt for me or make my hair hard and limp

Becase either cone free or completly naural free was not working for me I decided to mix. I graduetly reduce the amount of silicone products used on my hair. As my hair Imporved so much since last year I can see that this method is working preeety good

So I am using sulfate free shampo form TIGI and I loved it. I cant use sls products because it makes my scalp hurts:( But since I use this shampoo after a week all problems are gone and its strong enought to remove esilicone. I use silicone base leave in like biosilk or soething similar. I use cone frere conditioner and shampo and my hair is getting better,better and better:)

I was trying to figure it out and I just think that cones can mask demege so perfectly and when you suddenly go cone free you see what your hair look withaut it"naked". I feel that when I follow my routine I "feed' it with protein base dconditioner or mouisture conditioner and the cone based serum is there just to soften and act like a littel make up

cones for me are like foundation for face.It may be tempting to buy the most expensive and covering forundation to make all prblems with completion coverd up but its just emporary and If you want to get perfect complection you must take care of your skin, the way you cleane it what kind of creams to use.Tteh same reffers to hair -as it will take some time to improve you will find that you can use more light foundation or barely anything at all.

I hope it makes any sense:)))

Kiraela
June 21st, 2009, 01:18 PM
Ursula: I was using pantene Ice shine, or a generic version of it, for almost a year. I've always been a pantene junkie, I admit it. :o

I definately get what you are saying, desideira, and that's a good thought.


There are so many replies that I can't even get to you all, but thank you so much for your input! I got some jojoba oil over the weekend, and it is definately already helping ease my hair back into 'normal'.

rach
June 21st, 2009, 01:39 PM
i'm giving it a trail at the moment. i have noticed it's changed in texture but i'm finding more oil seems to be helping so far.