Do you work against your hair or with it?

[Curlsgirl]

Redcelticurls got me to thinking about this when she posted on another thread. I used to work against my hair, in fact for most of my LIFE I tried to make it what it couldn't possibly be (straight and silky!) The second I would step outside it would frizz and look terrible the rest of the day unless I washed it again. :rolleyes:

I wish I had learned to work WITH it long ago but better now than never. I would like to challenge all of you newbies and oldies as well to just TRY working WITH your natural hair texture and see how many compliments you get and how freeing it is! Anyone want to agree/disagree/accept my challenge and let me know the results?

[abritta3]

I used to work against my hair too. I am 21 now (22 next month) and only since this past December did I really, truly discover the beauty of having natural curls/waves.
Before, I didn't know how to take care of them and I used mousses and gels and hairspray, pomades, serums, etc...and I was a total product junkie putting tons of CRAP on my hair.
Then I ran across Lorraine Massey's curly girl book and I loved it! Then ironically I came across LHC because I wanted to grow longgger hair :) and since then I have realized that I am never going to have 1a hair but it's ok because I love having romantic curls and it's what makes me, ME!
And whatever type of hair you all have is what makes you, you ;)

[GlassEyes]

Oh, I wanted so BADLY to have straight hair like my sister. I never knew about relaxers until about 10th grade (my mom is white), but if I had, I would have one now. XD;

I used to try DESPERATELY to find ANYTHING that could straighten my hair out. I shoved every kind of product onto my head all at once; gel, hairspray, leave-in, etc, until my hair was as crispy and damaged as if it'd been simmered in oil for five minutes and given a lovely breadcrumb crust.

I also tried straightening it, which, by the way, works best on hair that isn't already fried. It made my hair look like hay.

Combine this with my constant dyeing, and you have a recipe for success!

[Lamb]

I would say, I worked with my hair as best I could - but I knew nothing about what my hair actually wanted. I knew my hair was fine and thin, so I went along with fine toothed combs and brushes, ignoring the fact that my hair already had body from the curls. :rolleyes: I didn't use conditioner, fearing my fine hair would be weighed down by it. :doh:
In other words, I concentrated on one thing, ignoring everything else. Now I am trying to find a routine that would keep my fine but dry and curly hair happy.

[SimplyViki]

Would it be absolutely evil to say I've always basically worked with my hair, and I pretty much have relatively easy-to-get-along-with hair?:run:

Not to say that I haven't had those days where I absolutely hate my hair... I think that happens to everyone, but it wasn't really for any particular losing battle with my texture or what my hair wanted to do or anything, I just get impatient or bored or something.

[mtstorm]

I use to curl my hair everyday. I never liked straight hair but I have learned to enjoy it.

[Copasetic]

I have really started working with my natural hair texture in the past 6 months, and I am already amazed at how much better it looks, and how many more compliments I get, and how much easier it is to deal with. Fighting your hair only makes things worse!

[demitasse]

Definitely worked against it for years. The idea of just letting my waves and curls do their natural thing never occurred to me. Blow drying with a cheap blow dryer, straightening with a super hot iron all for hair that didn't really look great on me. I look better with my natural texture.

But even after accepting my texture, like a lot of women here, it's been a long road to find what works for me. And not something I've totally conquered yet. But I've definitely accepted, finally, that I don't have straight hair, I'll never have straight hair, and, honestly, I no longer want straight hair.

It's all very Oprah-ish. :)

[ladylibra]

I think it would be fair to say, most of us with more "textured" hair spend a lot more time working against our hair. Even now all I ever hear from wavy-haired and curly-haired people is how hard they work to keep their hair straight and frizz-free... and how much it sucks that they weren't born with straight hair. Mostly I tune them out until they say something like, "You know what I mean right? Your hair is SUPER curly, I bet you hate it."

My response: "Um, no... as a matter of fact, I don't. If I hated it, I'd be wearing it straight." :rolleyes:

I work with my hair now. It's happy, I'm happy. Life is good.:D

[Gumball]

I guess I work against my hair in the notion that I comb it out and put it up rather than using a technique to encourage the curl and wear it down. It works for me since I prefer having my hair up.

Of course in the sense of trying to straighten it, well I haven't really gone farther than combing it out. Even when I was first growing my hair out and it expanded outward instead of downward I never entertained the thought of a straightener. I think that's a good thing given that I have moments of clumsiness and that could really be a downer for my mood should something go awry.

That must make me half-and-half in terms of working as a follicle ally!

[Roseate]

Like lamb, for me it wasn't so much a matter of wanting to work against my hair as it was not really understanding what my hair wanted.

I never thought straight hair was better than wurly, but I thought my hair wasn't "really" curly, and the easiest way to get it under control was to blowdry it straight. If I didn't blowdry it, of course I brushed it, and then it was a bumpy puffball.

I just knew nothing about proper moisturizing, didn't know not to brush my wurls, etc...Sorry, hair!

[Autumnberry]

Now I work with it. In the past, I was told to work against it, to take extra fine wavy hair and try to straighten it and expect that it would be bouncy and obedient. Uh, no, that only causes failure, damage and frustration. Working with it is so much easier timewise, moneywise, and less damaging! And it may look fluffy and fine, but that's the natural texture, and I accept it. When I see styling/shampoo adds now, I look at the models and say "that's beautiful, but I don't have hair like that. I wouldn't try and get hair like that." I keep that fact in mind and it helps with the hair routine and "hair satisfaction." And I'm always trying new (with the flow) things inspired by LHC :).

[rach]

working with now and it's paying off. waves have come back to life. people asking me now "how do you curl your hair" which is rather satisfying to hear. it's the easiest none touch your hair, hair style.
i'm learning to be the hair whisperer and the hair now gives back :D

[Honey39]

Totally agree with this! I worked against my hair for 39 years, and had a mass of frizz, I couldn't understand it. Now I have curls, they're glorious. I don't fear the rain or humidity any more, lol.

I've been thinking something similar to this recently - now I let my hair do what it wants to do, my hair care routine is so quick and easy and the results are terrific. I wish I could go back twenty years and tell my younger self to just SEE what my hair was like, instead of thinking that I should:
Wash/condition every other day
Blow dry on hot
Brush when wet
Brush all the time
I see women with my hair texture who are doing the same thing - brushing it out and thinking it's frizzy and straight, rather than realising it's curly, and want to tell them just to let it dry naturally and see the curl. Ho hum, am glad I found this site, I know it's arrogant, but I'be been loving my hair since I joined here!

[Kiraela]

I am trying to learn to work with my hair, but it's rather like a spanish man and an american man having a conversation through a swahili translator that only speaks swahili and french, you know what I mean? I haven't got a clue as to how to encourage the waves without turning into a giant tangled mat. If I don't comb, I get mats. If I do comb, I pull out half my waves. Finger combing turns me into a fluffball.

Any ideas?

[Firefly]

Redcelticurls got me to thinking about this when she posted on another thread. I used to work against my hair, in fact for most of my LIFE I tried to make it what it couldn't possibly be (straight and silky!) The second I would step outside it would frizz and look terrible the rest of the day unless I washed it again. :rolleyes:

This was me exactly! I spent years fighting against my hair and being miserable with it. I really wish I'd learned to work with it earlier on. I would have saved myself so much grief!

Finding LHC has really helped in that respect... there are so many people here to look to for inspiration, from stick straight to cork-screw curls.

[bakertwins2004]

I am learning to work with it. I will still straighten my bangs tho. I just can't let them do the wild thing.

[ladylibra]

I haven't got a clue as to how to encourage the waves without turning into a giant tangled mat. If I don't comb, I get mats. If I do comb, I pull out half my waves. Finger combing turns me into a fluffball.

Any ideas?

When are you combing... wet or dry? What product(s) are you using?

[Fractalsofhair]

With my hair, I used to sorta work against it. I still heavily work against the frizz and dryness I have, but I no longer listen to my stylist telling to bleach, blow dry etc. I never tried to thin my hair, since I've always liked the fact I have a lot of hair. I do occasionally play around with styles, finding less damaging ways to curl, and less damaging ways to straighten.(IE, no heat) My hair is very variable though. I no longer use cones which dried out my hair a lot. I have tried to get it golden at people's suggestions tons of times, but it looks bad on me, so I'm growing it out(the dye just damaged and lasted about 2 weeks). I also do like my hair with a blue streak in the front... But well, that's not quite hating my hair as much as liking blue hair on me! XD

[Tap Dancer]

I work with it. Back in middle school and high school, I'd always fight with the ends. When my hair was shoulder length, the ends would flip up on one side and curl under on the other. I'd always try to make each side match. Later I realized it was too much work and the results never lasted. Now I let my hair do what it wants.

[Kiraela]

When are you combing... wet or dry? What product(s) are you using?


I mainly just use shampoo and conditioner with a bit of olive oil, and I typically comb at least twice a day (morning before I put it up, and night before I go to bed - avoiding combing when wet if possible, because it always breaks.

[RoseRedDead]

Right now, I'm not really working with my hair, because I'm frustrated with it. It doesn't seem to be growing, and it's dry, and it generally is making me irritable.

I really need to let it drip dry, because it waves/curls the most like that, and it seems to be the happiest... but I like to comb it out because it just feels good and I like to see the length when my hair is straight...

Sigh...

[ecologystudent]

Yeah, I've pretty much always worked with my hair. It helps that I hate the smell of hair spray and gell, hate curling irons and curlers, and that my hair wouldn't hold any amount of curl for more than an hour. The only times my hair was altered from its natural state was when my mother thought that an important event required that I curl my hair (or, rather, that she curl my hair- despite the fact that'd it be straight again in an hour).

The rest of the time, I pretty much let it do it's own thing- I like it long, blond and silky, and that's what happens when I don't do anything. Which is pretty much what I do: nothing. :D

[NickalNack]

I've always wanted to work with my hair my whole life... it was more my "personal hair stylist" who was always forcing me to work against it. Now I'm old enough to make my own decisions, and I'm happier with my hair now even though it's shorter than my collar bone, than I ever was with it long and fake/processed.

[NickalNack]

HAhahahaha.

Oh, I wanted so BADLY to have straight hair like my sister. I never knew about relaxers until about 10th grade (my mom is white), but if I had, I would have one now. XD;

I used to try DESPERATELY to find ANYTHING that could straighten my hair out. I shoved every kind of product onto my head all at once; gel, hairspray, leave-in, etc, until my hair was as crispy and damaged as if it'd been simmered in oil for five minutes and given a lovely breadcrumb crust.

I also tried straightening it, which, by the way, works best on hair that isn't already fried. It made my hair look like hay.

Combine this with my constant dyeing, and you have a recipe for success!
Your hair is absolutely amazing in curls! You don't need to straighten it.

[masterofmidgets]

I'm the only person in my family with curly hair or long hair, so it's been less that I worked against my hair and more that I just didn't know what to do with it, even though I've always liked my curls. I was too lazy to do any of the really damaging stuff, like flat-ironing, blow-drying, or using a ton of product, but I also didn't know how to comb it/brush it (or not, as the case may be), how to keep it from getting tangled in a giant knotted mess when I slept, or how to deal with the frizz I got after all that.

Now I'm learning a lot about how to work with long curly hair so I can bring my curl out more and have it look good - like using oil on it while it's still damp to get better definition, or not feeling guilty about going through a bottle of conditioner every other week. It's nice not feeling like I'm flailing around on my own anymore, trying to figure how to live with my hair.

[~GypsyCurls~]

I definitely work with it. With curls, if you work against them they will turn out looking/feeling awful.

OMG GlassEyes I think your hair looks awesome in both pics! I love the color and I love your spiral curls in the first pic.

I used to straighten mine for a period of about 6 months, it never even looked good. The back was always wavy and it was greasy and frizzy/dry at the same time.

[curls2grow]

I tend to work with my hair in the winter and against it in the summer. I get very frustrated with it in the summer and tend to put it up in a bun or twist a lot. It looks awful from the front, IMO, because I get canopy frizz that I cannot tame. Sometimes I think it looks better than having my whole head look frizzy on days that my hair products let me down, but other times I think it looks sloppy and that upsets me. Still, having it longer gives me more options.

One of the treats I am going to give myself at some point is going to a local curly hair stylist and possibly doing a consultation with him/her and maybe even letting them cut my hair into a longer curly style. I want to hit my goal of APL dry before I do that so then if I end up around shoulder length yet again, at least it will hopefully have a nice shape/style to help the curls work better.

[JamieLeigh]

For years and years, I worked against it. Now I'm actually starting to work with it...and it looks and feels so much healthier and nicer. :D

[Curlsgirl]

I am trying to learn to work with my hair, but it's rather like a spanish man and an american man having a conversation through a swahili translator that only speaks swahili and french, you know what I mean? I haven't got a clue as to how to encourage the waves without turning into a giant tangled mat. If I don't comb, I get mats. If I do comb, I pull out half my waves. Finger combing turns me into a fluffball.

Any ideas?How about combing only when wet with a lot of conditioner on it? Then after rinsing not combing it again or just once and then let it dry? Then wait and just let it "be" until you wash and condition again. Preferable wear it up during that time to keep it from matting if that's something it does easily. If fingercombing turns it into a fluffball you may have more curl than you think and NOT combing it should worse nicely. I hardly ever comb other than in the shower unless I know I am going to wear it up until I wash it again.

I am really enjoying all the answers and comments everyone!

[ladylibra]

How about combing only when wet with a lot of conditioner on it? Then after rinsing not combing it again or just once and then let it dry? Then wait and just let it "be" until you wash and condition again. Preferable wear it up during that time to keep it from matting if that's something it does easily. If fingercombing turns it into a fluffball you may have more curl than you think and NOT combing it should worse nicely. I hardly ever comb other than in the shower unless I know I am going to wear it up until I wash it again.

I am really enjoying all the answers and comments everyone!

I agree. Dry combing textured hair usually equals frizz. No reason to re-comb at night if you wore it up all day, just to re-comb it in the morning and put it back up.

[Dars]

Yes I agree 100%!! :) I had my natural texture till I was 15 when I got my first flat iron. It was never this curly back then but I did brush it out and blow dry. It was only last year that I really started to embrace my curls instead of fight them and try to make them straight! I love them now more than ever, they are soft and give lots of volume. I think I was ashamed of my curls because I didn't know how to properly care for my hair. And the fact that my hair was always short didn't help! :)

[Speckla]

I'm working with my hair. Or rather, I'm letting my hair work for me. Now I'm still working on working with my greying hair rather than color it.

[nancy33936]

I work with my hair and try to style it so i don't have to spend hours on it.

[masnmab]

I did not learn how to work with my hair until I was 25. I got a fantastic haircut from a lady who had to demo a long layered look for her class (she was a beauty student with Toni&Guy) and it happened to be the best haircut I'd ever had. Shortly thereafter, I stopped putting silicones in my hair, stopped brushing it and here I am 2 years later, long, thick hair that people actually compliment me on.

[inertia]

I guess I frequently work against it. My hair is 1b/c and in dry climates like the Northeast US (where I'm originally from) I'm generally satisfied to let it air-dry naturally. However, there's something about Tokyo, and I don't know if it's the humid air or something in the water or what, but it makes my hair frizz like crazy. It doesn't get wavy. It's frizzy straight hair, and that's not cool. So when I want to look nice, I often end up curling or flat-ironing it; or if there's no time, I hide it in a bun.

[Rini]

Hi Curlsgirl :waving:

I always work WITH my hair, I'm too lazy to do otherwise. I have to say though, sometimes my hair doesn't want to work with me :(

Btw, copasetic...I want to eat your avatar :yumm:

[redcelticcurls]

Wow, Curlsgirl, I didn't think that would inspire a new thread. Awesome!

I was too inept with stlying tools to work agaisnt my hair, but I didn't know how to work with my hair. I really really wanted straight silky, flowing hair that never ever curled. If, as a kid and young adult, I was taught that something as simple as not brushing my hair would make my hair look so much better, I would have had a lot less trauma!

I was in my mid 30s before I got the knack of dealing with curls.

I think that LadyLibra has an excellent point in that the curlier/more textured the hair, the more likely we may be to fight it. It seems to be even more true if you grew up in a family that got into the whole "good hair, bad hair" philosophy.

GlassEyes, I love the curls, and I love that color too!

[Deborah]

I grew up thinking that my straight hair must be horrible since my Mum tried (mostly in vain) to curl it. Once I had been out and on my own a while, I realized that straight was just fine. I tossed the rollers and have been happier since doing so. I have even been surprised because it will wave or curl a little bit on its own from time to time. The last time I washed, I woke up with loose spiral curls on the bottom six inches. Now that was a surprise! Usually it is stick straight, but sleek and shiny. That's good enough.

I'm all for accepting one's hair just the way it is. It is so freeing!

[nowxisxforever]

I used to work against my hair, but now I work with it. :)

[LisaJaney]

It's SO much easier, now that I work WITH the hair. And I think it LOOKS better, too.

[redcelticcurls]

A side track of sorts.

For the curlies, say 3b and up or 3a's that have some root curl. Do you feel that smoothing/straightening hair out for updos is working against the texture, just a part of doing updos, or something that never crossed your mind? Unless I'm in uniform (Navy type) I leave my root curl as is for updos. But, many curlies seem to want to go for the sleek updo look. I had just wondered if "sleek" was that ingrained or if we even really thought about it.

[ReddishRocks]

Redcelticurls got me to thinking about this when she posted on another thread. I used to work against my hair, in fact for most of my LIFE I tried to make it what it couldn't possibly be (straight and silky!) The second I would step outside it would frizz and look terrible the rest of the day unless I washed it again. :rolleyes:

I wish I had learned to work WITH it long ago but better now than never. I would like to challenge all of you newbies and oldies as well to just TRY working WITH your natural hair texture and see how many compliments you get and how freeing it is! Anyone want to agree/disagree/accept my challenge and let me know the results?

I :heartbeat RedCelticCurls!

I started my hair journey over on NaturallyCurly.com, and she is one of my favorite people. We're constantly on the same wavelength. ;)

I used to fight my hair too. I've had cuts that were meant to be straightened, unflattering bangs, and I even had a cruddy perm once back in middle school! :o When I started back on the naturally curly path, I found myself trying really hard to make my curl pattern tighter... talk about a 180, LOL!

I'm now in the process of trying to just bring out the best of what I've already got. I'm trying out just letting my hair air dry instead of pixie-curling it with the diffuser. I'm finding that (thus far) I like it just fine! I may not get away with that in the cold Colorado winter, but it's great for summer!

But as for compliments... I think until I go grey, my hair will first always be noticed for being red. It's always been that way, and I'm okay with that. That said, people who know me well and know I'm a "hair person" have started making comments about how long it's getting - and not mean comments either! I just LOVE my coworkers! :D Some of the curly girls I work with ask about my curls/waves too, but that turns into such a long CO-wash discussion, LOL! :p

[ReddishRocks]

A side track of sorts.

For the curlies, say 3b and up or 3a's that have some root curl. Do you feel that smoothing/straightening hair out for updos is working against the texture, just a part of doing updos, or something that never crossed your mind? Unless I'm in uniform (Navy type) I leave my root curl as is for updos. But, many curlies seem to want to go for the sleek updo look. I had just wondered if "sleek" was that ingrained or if we even really thought about it.

RCC and I have been talking about updos recently... and I have to say that my updos turn into the sleek variety simply due to my curl pattern being closer to 2c these days due to the length. The buns just seem to flatten out my curls! :( I do wish this wasn't the case, but does that qualify as fighting against my natural hair? LOL!

[Bene]

i actually use my buns to work against the curl. damp bunning pretty much pulls it back and lets it lie flat, so i keep the curl along the length, but the front stays relatively straight.

[redcelticcurls]

RCC and I have been talking about updos recently... and I have to say that my updos turn into the sleek variety simply due to my curl pattern being closer to 2c these days due to the length. The buns just seem to flatten out my curls! :( I do wish this wasn't the case, but does that qualify as fighting against my natural hair? LOL!

I was thinking about it before you mentioned it, so I wasn't trying to call you out. :) You happened to kick that thought into higher gear.

I thought about it while doing that blog post of mine on updos where I used three examples of a Chinese Bun to show the differences in how it will look with curly (1st and 2nd day curls) vs straight.

Your top is straight/wavy enough that a smooth look just happens on its own. It' just an innate part of your updo. I don't think of you as having to work against what your hair does naturally to put it up with sleekness.

However, if I want that I have to put it up wet or use a lot of pomade. I do sense oftentimes in the real world that a sleek base for an updo is preferred as being more neat or more professional. But, really, I don't want to yank and wet down my head just to have a bump free updo. ;) In civilian context, I put it up as is and say "Oh well, my roots are curly. Live with it."

[Debra83]

Trying to work with it as of two days ago! :D

I'm hoping I can last! It is SOOOO easy not to fight it, but so hard to wait the lonnnnnnngg drying process I used to allow my waves. Have to try to tighten that up. Hoping it will work.

Amazed that it is still so wavy even though it is longer. My album is a testimony as to how hard I fought my natural wave, even after I discovered it a few months ago. (and was excited!) Just easier to slip back into old habits I guess.

Sure takes away the length though. rats.

[redcelticcurls]

Trying to work with it as of two days ago! :D

I'm hoping I can last! It is SOOOO easy not to fight it, but so hard to wait the lonnnnnnngg drying process I used to allow my waves. Have to try to tighten that up. Hoping it will work.

Amazed that it is still so wavy even though it is longer. My album is a testimony as to how hard I fought my natural wave, even after I discovered it a few months ago. (and was excited!) Just easier to slip back into old habits I guess.

Sure takes away the length though. rats.

Ah, yes, shrinkage. That thing every wavy, curly, kinky haired person growing out his/her hair has to learn to deal with. My hair is waist length in the shower, and was just below APL today. It happens.

But, hey, you DO get beautiful waves out of it!

[GlassEyes]

My hair always gets pulled out when I put my hair up in any way shape or form. I can really only manage to do it when it's wet, so there you go. XD

[GlassEyes]

GlassEyes, I love the curls, and I love that color too!

Blegh. The color i could deal with. But honestly, they felt so much worse and looked way worse than even the photos show. My mom and friends called me 'helmet head'. :wail:

But thank you.

[Melisande]

I can't believe all you people with wonderful curls fought against your natural texture. I have envied you all my life. I wanted to have curls so badly. I permed my hair a number of times, I bunned it to get bun waves, and though most of the time I worked with it (apart from the per times), I was never ever content.

The boards (here and the German boards) have helped me tememdously in accepting my boring, uninspiring, most straight, thinnish hair. I have even discovered waves around my face and a slight body wave.

[MimiKeki]

The truth, I've been working against it, and I am so guilty. I still straighten it, and I just had extensions put in, thinking I could trick mother nature. No more.
I'm getting them taken out sometime soon, maybe tomorrow, and I'm going back to what I know best - Coconut oil, amla, vatika shampoo, no heat, and no brushes. I'm going to go and plan my return to haircare right now. *walks away with tail between legs*

[hennaphile]

Does yelling at it count?

[Curlsgirl]

I can't believe all you people with wonderful curls fought against your natural texture. I have envied you all my life. I wanted to have curls so badly. I permed my hair a number of times, I bunned it to get bun waves, and though most of the time I worked with it (apart from the per times), I was never ever content.

Well for me it was mostly because I didn't know how to handle it. When I was growing up there weren't curl products like there are now and people who wore their hair curly mostly had frizzy unruly hair. Not sure the other curlies reasons but not knowing how to take care of the curlies or not even KNOWING we HAD curly hair is high on the list I am sure!

Hi Rini!

RCC, My hair is pretty flat on top being a 3a so I don't really work against it. I work in a business environment though and I do NOT usually have "sleek" updos because the waves/bumps start a few inches from the roots. I don't care about that. I think it's pretty and different. :D

[ladylibra]

A side track of sorts.

For the curlies, say 3b and up or 3a's that have some root curl. Do you feel that smoothing/straightening hair out for updos is working against the texture, just a part of doing updos, or something that never crossed your mind? Unless I'm in uniform (Navy type) I leave my root curl as is for updos. But, many curlies seem to want to go for the sleek updo look. I had just wondered if "sleek" was that ingrained or if we even really thought about it.

Hmmmm... I'd say if you spend all morning in frustration trying to get your hair to lay flat and smooth, yes. If I pull my hair back when wet, I can get it to lay flat... which I usually do when bunning because I bun on wet hair anyway.

Besides that I've found, when I have flat hair that suddenly turns into a big coily puff... people think I'm wearing a fake hair piece. :laugh: Whereas when I leave the roots curly and coily, it looks more natural.


I can't believe all you people with wonderful curls fought against your natural texture. I have envied you all my life. I wanted to have curls so badly. I permed my hair a number of times, I bunned it to get bun waves, and though most of the time I worked with it (apart from the per times), I was never ever content.

Well you know what they say... we're never (or rarely) content with what we have. In that 16-year span where I was relaxing my hair, I was always in LOVE with curls. It's funny when I think about how much time and effort I put into getting my hair as straight as possible, to turn around and set it on rollers. :rolleyes:

[GlassEyes]

The truth, I've been working against it, and I am so guilty. I still straighten it, and I just had extensions put in, thinking I could trick mother nature. No more.
I'm getting them taken out sometime soon, maybe tomorrow, and I'm going back to what I know best - Coconut oil, amla, vatika shampoo, no heat, and no brushes. I'm going to go and plan my return to haircare right now. *walks away with tail between legs*

I'm all for going for the natural texture, but don't feel guilty about it. :p

[redcelticcurls]

Well for me it was mostly because I didn't know how to handle it. When I was growing up there weren't curl products like there are now and people who wore their hair curly mostly had frizzy unruly hair. Not sure the other curlies reasons but not knowing how to take care of the curlies or not even KNOWING we HAD curly hair is high on the list I am sure!

Hi Rini!

RCC, My hair is pretty flat on top being a 3a so I don't really work against it. I work in a business environment though and I do NOT usually have "sleek" updos because the waves/bumps start a few inches from the roots. I don't care about that. I think it's pretty and different. :D

Yeah, that was true in my case. Everyone else in the family also has less curl than I do, so no one could give me advice besides "brush it", which made it worse, or helpful but flawed home made treatments like mayonnaise. I must have had coarse hair even as a child because all those things did was make my hair feel like straw. Protein and I aren't the best of friends, lol.

People meant well, but I just hadn't come into contact with anyone who knew how to care for curly hair back then.

[LaurelSpring]

As someone with fine straight hair I of course wanted curls! I permed and colored the heck out of my hair for years. Now I am finally loving it just the way it is although when I do have to have curls I do it naturally now. :)

[JKRBeloved]

I worked against my hair my whole life. It wasn't until I'd been studying this site for a good while that I even realized how much I worked against it, and began to work with my hair. Never even realized I had waves...just thought I had straight, frizzy hair. Now that I let my hair take the lead I have begun to really enjoy and have fun with it.

[mira-chan]

I've always worked with it. It would have been too much work to work against it and I'm lazy.

[bugeyedmonster2]

Why is it that if we have straight hair, we are told we should curl it? If we have curly hair, we are told to straighten it?

I have naturally straight hair. My mom used to curl it all the time. (With those big plastic curlers that had the bumps on them so I couldn't sleep well.) Later I used to curl it myself with a curling iron.

I spent about 45 minutes every morning to completely spray and curl my hair, and the darn thing would straighten itself out by noon.

I had numerous body waves (a sort of milder, gentler perm) and they would usually fall out in a few days.

I also have had three perms in the past. One last about a week, the next about a month, the last finally took. One stylist told me that my hair just wanted to be straight.

Now that I have stopped attempting to give myself curls or waves, it only takes about 15 minutes to put up my hair. I can spend quite a bit of time combing, but that's only if I want to.

Oh, and I've not had to spend any money on hairspray! Or curling irons.

My hair is healthier than it's been in years. The earlier thickness has not returned though. Sigh.

I did attempt years back to go to a hairstyle that would be good for straight hair. Back in the 80s I wanted a Princess Di cut, and my mom had told the stylist (without me knowing about this) to give me curls. So the poor stylist tried to do both. I looked like a mushroom top.

Anyway...

(^_^)/
BEM

[kwaniesiam]

I used to fight against my hair, but now it seems to fight against me :rolleyes: My hair is thin, fine, and straight. I mostly let it do its thing, but sometimes it will rebel and I am forced to tame it in to an updo until it decides to behave. It's almost like timeout :silly:

[JKRBeloved]

Why is it that if we have straight hair, we are told we should curl it? If we have curly hair, we are told to straighten it?

Dear bugeyedmonster, this is a very good question! If we could just learn to be contented with how we were designed to be (and others quit trying to change us into something we are not) we'd probably all be a lot happier.

[Quixii]

Huh. I'm not really sure. I have natural curls, and definitely would like to embrace them - and not get rid of them. However, when I brush my hair, it gets rid of my curls (against my wishes) and turns it into frizzy waves. :confused: So I guess I'm technically working against my hair, since I guess it doesn't like brushes, but I just don't know how I would get rid of the tangles without a brush.

[Roseate]

So I guess I'm technically working against my hair, since I guess it doesn't like brushes, but I just don't know how I would get rid of the tangles without a brush.

Curls hate brushes. Try combing it with a very wide-tooth comb in the shower while it is drenched with conditioner, then don't touch it til it dries- you'll be surprised at how much curl you have hiding in there!

[Quixii]

Curls hate brushes. Try combing it with a very wide-tooth comb in the shower while it is drenched with conditioner, then don't touch it til it dries- you'll be surprised at how much curl you have hiding in there!
But I take my showers at nights, so by the time I wake up in the morning, it's all tangley again. =(

[redcelticcurls]

But I take my showers at nights, so by the time I wake up in the morning, it's all tangley again. =(

Have you tried sleeping in an overnight plop (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=685&highlight=plopping)? It will reduce tangle formation, and also may help with curl enhancement if you are looking for that.

[Quixii]

Have you tried sleeping in an overnight plop (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=685&highlight=plopping)? It will reduce tangle formation, and also may help with curl enhancement if you are looking for that.
Huh! No, I haven't. I'll try that next time I take a shower (tomorrow) - though I'm not sure if I'll be able to sleep like that, to be honest.

[RocketDog]

For most of my teenage years I wore my hair up in buns and braids, so I never really paid attention to my natural texture - I hopped out of the shower and slicked it up and back. From 17-21 I tried many, many, many harsh dyes, styling products, appliances and techniques to force my hair into submission. It was blonde - I wanted it black (then a few weeks later, red, then blonde, back to black... around and around). It was curly - I wanted it straight. It was clumpy - I wanted it silky.

I gave up when my hair would literally fall apart if I touched it, and shaved down to stubble so I'd have a truly fresh start. Apart from a little relapse into the world of dye and flatirons about two years ago, I've embraced my wild and crazy hair texture and learned to love the color. I still have days where I pretty much HATE my hair, but they are few and far between now that I've learned what it needs to stay soft, healthy and shiny.

[Roseate]

Even just a sleep cap can help keep your curls in and tangles down. I have one that looks basically like a shower cap, but is made of satin instead of plastic.

[redcelticcurls]

Even just a sleep cap can help keep your curls in and tangles down. I have one that looks basically like a shower cap, but is made of satin instead of plastic.

I use those for 2nd and third day hair. Awesome things.