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Gilly
June 15th, 2009, 03:01 AM
Hi,

I feel like I should not be here:( once again I have had a big chop done, my hair got to its usual stage, just past collar length, and seemed to almost overnight, go really nasty, the layer that I am growing out seemed to get drier and would not blend with the rest of my hair and would sort of stick out so I had this odd looking two tiered effect at the back:rolleyes:
It does not seem to matter what I do to my hair, it won't get past this stage, I thought I had found an answer with the Mastery products, the shampoo cured my itchy scalp and the conditioners and treatments were really nice, but nothing seems to help me to keep it healthy.
I can't do complicated routines, I have minutes to get showered, wash my hair and get ready in the mornings, There is no way I can wash my hair at night and expect to go out the next morning without scaring the wildlife!
I have to wash my hair daily, its not negotiable, my hair will not tolerate it, I have tried to do water only in the morning and shampoo at night but it looks so lank and awful that it effects my mood and that has got to be no good at all.
I don't do cones or any form of SLS as my scalp gets really cranky as it also does it I leave it to air dry too often, so I tend to just run a warm hairdryer over it from at least 2 feet away to get the worst of the wet stuff out of it!
I currently have air that is about 2-3 inches all over, it looks fine but its obviously NOT what I want. I am at a loss as to how I can get my hair to be healthy AND long.
I am sticking with the Mastey as this was only added a few months ago, so I will see how it grows now the ends are all nice and fresh.
I think I may order some more Cassia and start doing that once a week or so to keep it strong.
I am sorry for the rant, I do feel better for getting that all off my chest but that beside the point.
I want long hair!!:wail:

Samikha
June 15th, 2009, 03:12 AM
Take a deep breath and try to calm down :) Your hair will get long eventually, and it won't grow any quicker because you're frustrated about it (or we would all be at knee-length!).

Are you sure you can't use a headband or something in the mornings if you wash your hair at night? That might help you avoid, ahem, scaring the wildlife (great way to put it!). I'm not sure if I'd do cassia as often as once a week. I usually find the effects last at least two weeks or more.

You can try stretching out washes and such when it's longer - it will be. You'll get there :flower: This community is for everyone, no matter which stage at growing they are at. Go look at Igor's pictures if you're feeling bad about your current length. That always helps me. *hug*

Flynn
June 15th, 2009, 03:15 AM
What I did:

-- Damp down every morning, rather than actually washing.
-- Kept using a little product for moisture and texture.
-- Learned and invented some cute styles (like "twisty sorta-cornrows")
-- Made other things look pretty (clothes, accessories) so it didn't matter so much if I was having a daggy hair day
-- Mostly ignored it

Juanita
June 15th, 2009, 06:26 AM
Try less frequent washing. Lots of scarves and hairbands benign neglect. will help.
Cheers Juanita

Kirin
June 15th, 2009, 06:56 AM
My cures for hell-hair:

My hair was short, really short. For a long time, it would get to a stage, drive me nuts, and chop chop. Benign neglect never worked for me, as in some circles, areas, jobs and social lives, oily or flat neglected hair is NOT an option.

The advice I got here is great...... sometimes. You have to weed through it to find what works. What eventually worked for me to get past the yuck stage, was to ditch the conventional wisdoms here.

Treat your short hair as the hair you will one day cut off. That's right. The short hair you have now, all of it, you can damage to heck and back, to make it behave until it gets long enough. This will be the "ends" that you will trim off as your hair gets well past the ugly/freaky stage.

Once I did this, ahhh, growth happens. If you must, blow dry, use a curling iron, anything to tame it. Products, even hair spray. Trust me no "hair care police" are going to show up to make you feel guilty for dealing with your own head of hair in a way that works.

Realize, short hair cuts will almost always inevitably grow out into "layers". You have to get passed this. The longest layer in the back always takes a beating as it grows out, especially when it starts rubbing constantly against the backs of shirt collars. Again use the rule that this is an area that once you get to around arm pit length you can start trimming off. It will be dry and tangly as it grows. There are a LOT of commercial products that can deal with this as it grows, Redken anti-snap is great, cholesterol treatments help to. Again, this is "temporary hair", you have to start somewhere.

Washing daily non-negotiable? No problem. Tons of us here wash and condition every day, and feel your pain. Its non-negotiable for me too! The most important part is it has to work for you. If it doesn't, no matter what the advice is, it doesn't work for you. You can't make things work for you that don't.

There is no "right" way, only your way.

Lamb
June 15th, 2009, 07:11 AM
Hi,

I feel like I should not be here:( once again I have had a big chop done, my hair got to its usual stage, just past collar length, and seemed to almost overnight, go really nasty, the layer that I am growing out seemed to get drier and would not blend with the rest of my hair and would sort of stick out so I had this odd looking two tiered effect at the back:rolleyes:
Boy, do I know the feeling. Welcome to eternal bobland - this is precisely why I haven't grown my hair past my shoulders these two years.
It seems to me that you have to fight the evils of
1. fine hair
2. a picky scalp
3. short hair on the brink of the in-between stage
4. your own discontent

What I have come to realize is that it's the 4th component, our own personal disappointment in our own hair, that holds the key to victory over the rest. In other words, what Kirin said. You have to make peace with your hair, and if it takes daily washing, products and heat styling to do it, do it!!

The biggest mistake we shorties can make is treat our hair as if it was long already. That's just wrong, because hair requires very different things at different stages to look good.

It's easy to do the benign neglect thing on, say, BSL 1b//M/C//ii/iii hair, but it simply does not work on my barely SL 2c//F//ii hair. So yeah, I wash every day and I even use sulfates, gel, and *gasp* mousse!


Realize, short hair cuts will almost always inevitably grow out into "layers". You have to get passed this. The longest layer in the back always takes a beating as it grows out, especially when it starts rubbing constantly against the backs of shirt collars. Again use the rule that this is an area that once you get to around arm pit length you can start trimming off. It will be dry and tangly as it grows. There are a LOT of commercial products that can deal with this as it grows, Redken anti-snap is great, cholesterol treatments help to. Again, this is "temporary hair", you have to start somewhere.


Yep, this.

andrea1982
June 15th, 2009, 07:28 AM
I think Kirin's advice is great. The bottom line about long hair is....in order to get longer it must be left to grow more than it is cut. Whatever you can do to get through the awkward stages is going to help (however, if you stay away from permanent dye and bleach I think you will probably be happier in the long run). I also second the idea of using headbands, and perhaps bobby pins to keep the offending pieces out of your way. I have a friend who grew out her hair from a pixie, and she would wear these stubby little pig tales and ponytails and secure the rest of the hair with a headband or bobby pins, and it looked cute!

Good luck!

templeofvenus
June 15th, 2009, 09:18 AM
I can feel where you are coming from here! I am a daily washer, I use cones, I blow dry :confused: and use a straightening iron on my fringe as I have a short blunt fringe. I have accepted that I need to wash daily I can't stretch this out without looking awful and I have to blow dry....... I must or it looks ridiculous! my hair is chin length in a bob at the moment. In the past I have tried all kinds of shampoos etc tried to stop the blowdryer etc and always ended up having it cut AGAIN! but now I am doing what I do and going to see if it grows without me getting all paranoid about it and feeling like a sinner for washing daily etc lol! If it still winds up looking bad and I find myself getting it cut back to chin length again in a few months then so be it! I will just have to accept I am beaten lol.

Xandergrammy
June 15th, 2009, 11:47 AM
What I did:

-- Damp down every morning, rather than actually washing.
-- Kept using a little product for moisture and texture.
-- Learned and invented some cute styles (like "twisty sorta-cornrows")
-- Made other things look pretty (clothes, accessories) so it didn't matter so much if I was having a daggy hair day
-- Mostly ignored it



This is excellent advice and basically what I did. Gel, bobby pins and hair bands were my friends.

Fractalsofhair
June 15th, 2009, 01:46 PM
There is definitely an awkward stage when you grow out a short cut. If your hair is dry and damaged, try hot oil treatments. Ponytails help me a lot on really awkward hair days, along with headbands. If the damage is really really bad(50+% of your hair breaking off) get a trim. Otherwise, just let it grow. I need to get a trim in the front, I'm thinking bangs, and if you only have one little damage section, a stylist can cut layers into that part.

ReddishRocks
June 15th, 2009, 01:56 PM
Treat your short hair as the hair you will one day cut off. That's right. The short hair you have now, all of it, you can damage to heck and back, to make it behave until it gets long enough. This will be the "ends" that you will trim off as your hair gets well past the ugly/freaky stage.

Once I did this, ahhh, growth happens. If you must, blow dry, use a curling iron, anything to tame it. Products, even hair spray.

I totally agree with this advice. I grew out my pixie to BSL in a few years following this same advice (pics on my blog). Save the über TLC for when you get to APL and longer! :)

cakedcake
June 15th, 2009, 02:24 PM
I wash my hair at night and sleep in bonnet devices like a hat or scarf depending upon the temperature. When I wake up, my hair looks weird (HAT HAIR!), but gets more normal throughout the day. It also returns to being oily pretty quickly so I wash it every other day and use baby powder (corn starch) on the parts that get too oily on my non-wash day. Getting into this routine and giving up the blow dryer and straightener was difficult at first, but I think it's worth it.

I'm still growing out a layered pixie, and I tend to cut it at the same length you did!

BlackfootHair
June 15th, 2009, 02:53 PM
I am not familiar with Mastery products, but I am using Deva Curl and absolutely love it! I can even say that my hair is more curly in the morning after sleeping on it than when I used shampoo and conditioner.

I tried to use CO but my hair didn't like it. I wasn't sure how my hair was going to get on with the Deva Curl products because it's basically CO with conditioner after, but it works. The no poo really cleans! I can have oily hair from leave in treatments with DVCO and it will clean it completely without drying. The One Condition conditioner is really nice too. For really dry hair you can use the Heaven in Hair. I had to leave in on for 5 hours since my hair was really dry and the silicones were removed with the DevaCurl. DevaCurl doesn't have any silicones now. You might look into that. If you are looking for suggestions.

Have no fear about your length. I had hair about four inches past my shoulders, almost all one length (the longest it had been for a real long time,) and I decided to be an idiot and bleach it to ruins. I cut and cut till I had most of it off. Now, after babying it, trimming the last damage off, and then leaving the scissors alone, I am almost back to that point! It's past my shoulders, and it still feels weird to say that. I've had short hair the good majority of my life, so even to be past shoulders is another mini milestone.

When my hair is long enough to tie back and it's in an ugly stage I tie it back often. It gets it out of my sight so I can think about other things.

Make this cut the beginning of a new journey. After all, it's not the destination, but the journey anways....right? We all want long hair...and we grow and grow...then what? We have long hair and we do lots of stuff with it. But if we could be as long as we wanted in an instant, I bet we wouldn't cherish what we had as much as those who have to wait patiently for years. And "years" seems like such a really long time. But time flies. It really does. Promise. :flower:

Kiraela
June 15th, 2009, 03:21 PM
No real advice, just wanted to send you a :grouphug: of encouragement. I hope you find what works for your hair, and makes you happy.

brok3nwings
June 15th, 2009, 05:20 PM
I think that kirin just gave you the best advice that you could ever ask for! Really..i dont think that growing your hair should be a pain, it should be pleasuring!! And who knows if your hair when reaching longer stages wont have to be trimmed to recover the damage? :) good luck

feralnature
June 15th, 2009, 05:24 PM
How I got my hair past the awkward stage? I didn't cut it. I tried to avoid family photos. I went though a stage of feeling very ugly and unfeminine. I toughed it out. Again I say..."I did not cut it". :)

funnybunny668
June 15th, 2009, 05:46 PM
Great advice! I grew mine out the first time by not cutting it, although it was already at shoulder-length then, this time around it's shorter than that, so I'll definitely go through all the odd growing out phases. Fortunately for me, I work in a casual office, so no one will say anything to me about less than stellar hair days. LOL But I understand that if you have to look professional, it maight be a better option to keep using products and/or regular trims until it gets long enough to behave without them.

Gilly
June 16th, 2009, 02:25 PM
Thank you all for your advice, I had not thought of it in the way Kirin explained it but that makes a lot of sense, I had been trying to baby it at all times and all I ended up with was nasty unprofessional looking hair, which is a problem in a smart office.:rolleyes:
I am going to hunt out some products this weekend with maybe some water soluable cones in to keep it smooth then hopefully I will be able to keep the ends happy until they creep past my shoulders:cheese:
Once I can put it up in a ponytail I will be happy, then I can practice neglect!
Any product suggestions by the way???

manderly
June 16th, 2009, 03:01 PM
Aw Gilly! :grouphug:

I know what a rough time you've had with your hair and scalp (oh the products you've been through!). I'm sorry you resorted to cutting, but don't let that keep you from here!!

And I agree 100% with Kirin and Flynn!

Fry that hair into submission! Just imagine, when your hair is BSL or longer, you're only talking about losing a few inches of fried hair :D You do what you have to do to get out of the horrible no-man's land stage.

Also, have you tried just wetting your hair down in the morning instead of washing it? Either jumping in the shower and just soaking it or spraying it down with a spritzer? I really think cutting back on the actual washing with product will help you out as well. Have you given Morocco Method poos a try?

Get headbands, pins, clips, gel, and hairspray and make a cute little bob :) When my hair was super short I had to blowfry it every day and I used hair wax to sculpt out my little flippy things :) If I tried to just let it be it would be a brillo pad :) My hair short is NOTHING like my hair long.

Good luck Gilly! And stick around and ask for help :flower:

Gilly
June 17th, 2009, 03:00 AM
Aw Gilly! :grouphug:

I know what a rough time you've had with your hair and scalp (oh the products you've been through!). I'm sorry you resorted to cutting, but don't let that keep you from here!!

And I agree 100% with Kirin and Flynn!

Fry that hair into submission! Just imagine, when your hair is BSL or longer, you're only talking about losing a few inches of fried hair :D You do what you have to do to get out of the horrible no-man's land stage.

Also, have you tried just wetting your hair down in the morning instead of washing it? Either jumping in the shower and just soaking it or spraying it down with a spritzer? I really think cutting back on the actual washing with product will help you out as well. Have you given Morocco Method poos a try?

Get headbands, pins, clips, gel, and hairspray and make a cute little bob :) When my hair was super short I had to blowfry it every day and I used hair wax to sculpt out my little flippy things :) If I tried to just let it be it would be a brillo pad :) My hair short is NOTHING like my hair long.

Good luck Gilly! And stick around and ask for help :flower:

Thanks babe:flowers:
I am certainly going to stop treating it like long hair, I can't get away with wetting it down in the morning, I have tried it so many times and all I end up with is yukky looking hair that just looks awful in the office:rolleyes: plus the fact I am not happy with it so I find shampooing each day keeps us both happy.
I am happy with the washing and conditioning now, its just the styling that has always defeated me, I kept thinking that I must NOT blowfry, must NOT use cones, basically must NOT do a lot of things and that plainly does not work for me and I end up stressing out over it, and as we all know, its hair, it will grow, mine just takes its time:rolleyes:
Thanks once again for all the encouragement and I will stay here, I am just going to adopt a slightly different routine to the one I had been using.:flower:

Gilly
July 5th, 2009, 12:32 AM
My hair is resonding well to the new routine of treating it like the short hair it is!
It feels nice and is looking better by the day, I am seeing lots of new growth using the Nioxin shampoo and conditioner and am also using the Nioxin leave-in ( I can't remember the name of it at the moment) my hair really seems to love it and the ends feel really nice.
I am going to get Hubby to take a piccy of the back of my head monthly so I can track any growth!

Speckla
July 5th, 2009, 07:39 AM
Overnight treatments of protein, oils, or other conditioners will greatly improve the condition of your hair and make it stronger while growing out. Use a scarf or satin bonnet and you can still shampoo and condition the next morning.

Roseate
July 5th, 2009, 11:21 AM
Glad your new short-hair routine is working for you- we have a similar hairtype and I know my hair is a snarling animal that must be tamed at shorter lengths. Style at will, tough it out and don't worry- there is light at the end of the tunnel! It really will calm down once you get some length. :grouphug:

Gilly
January 20th, 2010, 04:53 AM
Well it's getting longer!
I will try and take a piccy at the weekend but its currently just past the "yukky stickyout layer" stage:cheese: I can actually feel it just catching the very top of my back on occassions!
I am using the Mastey shampoos and conditioners, I did have another go at shampoo bars but since moving to a house which is on bore water, I think its a bit too hard for the bars so I am just using them as body soaps.
I have just ordered some whipped shea butter from Chagrin Valley and will put some on my ends each night to keep them happy.
I think I am finally getting there!
Thanks for your support:flowers:

jojo
January 20th, 2010, 08:26 AM
My cures for hell-hair:

My hair was short, really short. For a long time, it would get to a stage, drive me nuts, and chop chop. Benign neglect never worked for me, as in some circles, areas, jobs and social lives, oily or flat neglected hair is NOT an option.

The advice I got here is great...... sometimes. You have to weed through it to find what works. What eventually worked for me to get past the yuck stage, was to ditch the conventional wisdoms here.

Treat your short hair as the hair you will one day cut off. That's right. The short hair you have now, all of it, you can damage to heck and back, to make it behave until it gets long enough. This will be the "ends" that you will trim off as your hair gets well past the ugly/freaky stage.

Once I did this, ahhh, growth happens. If you must, blow dry, use a curling iron, anything to tame it. Products, even hair spray. Trust me no "hair care police" are going to show up to make you feel guilty for dealing with your own head of hair in a way that works.

Realize, short hair cuts will almost always inevitably grow out into "layers". You have to get passed this. The longest layer in the back always takes a beating as it grows out, especially when it starts rubbing constantly against the backs of shirt collars. Again use the rule that this is an area that once you get to around arm pit length you can start trimming off. It will be dry and tangly as it grows. There are a LOT of commercial products that can deal with this as it grows, Redken anti-snap is great, cholesterol treatments help to. Again, this is "temporary hair", you have to start somewhere.

Washing daily non-negotiable? No problem. Tons of us here wash and condition every day, and feel your pain. Its non-negotiable for me too! The most important part is it has to work for you. If it doesn't, no matter what the advice is, it doesn't work for you. You can't make things work for you that don't.

There is no "right" way, only your way.wonderful advice, I cant add to this and 100% agree with what has been said here.

hennaphile
January 20th, 2010, 08:38 AM
Cassia, penetrating oils (henna if you don't mind the color) and protein treatments might be of great interest to you if you haven't tried already :flower: