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hairbrain
June 8th, 2009, 04:17 PM
I started to PM a fellow longhair about my weekend and stopped
myself because I know you all enjoy the stories of my crazy life.
I’m here to share. Pull up a chair, this is a long one.

I got a call last Friday from my father needing my assistance.
Now, my dad is getting on in age and not all his decisions are well thought out.
If he has an idea he just has at it without always thinking it all the way through to the “what if’s”.

It turns out that my dad had wanted a haircut, but didn’t want to spend
the money for a professional one.
In hopes of saving a buck, he took out
his trusty flowbee contraption (http://www.flowbee.com/Newimages/Questions.htm)and vacuum cleaner attachments, etc
and prepared to vacuum his head. (yeah. I know.)

But he must not have had the right spacer on there, because some pieces of his hair ended up extremely short.
But just on the right side of his head. I think he started on one side, messed up, then got scared so he stopped to rethink his approach.

I’m sure once he brought the flowbee towards his skull, the suction took over
and attacked his hair which must have freaked him out. shudder:
You know like when you were a kid and liked to bring the suction against
your hand or belly, and the skin actually moved towards the vacuum?
I bet thats what his hair did. They came at each other like magnets.

So the top of his head looked like one of those crazy trolls; you know the ones that you pop on top of erasers
and spin back and forth between the palms of your hands to make the hair stand all up everywhere.
Remember those? Heres a few here (http://chihongtoys.bizland.com/cat_troll/index.htm). That was my dad’s head, except shorter in some places.

So he puts down the flowbee and grabs a set of clippers thinking this was a much better idea. yeah right.
It works when you have the right attachment thingy on there but when you go too short, you end up with bald spots. which is what happened.

By the time I got the phone call, my dad’s head was in a very bad place.
The front was wild and crazy , the right side of the top was extremely short
while all around it was longer but all different lengths, and the back was wild!
On both sides behind his ears in the back, (you know- where he couldn’t see…) he bzzzzzz’d with the clippers, I’m assuming just where he was able to reach with this hand.
The middle of the back of his head was cut but not as much as behind his ears. then up above that was just long.
So starting from the front it was long, shorter, longer, really long, then wiffled, and finally short.
A big mess.
And hilarious! My husband and I walked in and we both started laughing. (don’t worry, my dad was laughing too. If I thought he’d be offended I would have waited until LATER to laugh at him.)

He looked like “Doc” Brown from Back to the Future.

My mother had this look on her face like, ‘see what I have to live with?’

So he calls me because, well I am the hairy one in the family.
I have the professional pair of Arias Eickert scissors that I found on ebay and the kit with the cape. But I am NOT by ANY stretch of the imagination a hairdresser or stylist. You guys know: I have scissors for my S&D’s and my bangs/fringe, and my nieces bangs. Period. Maybe the occasional trim .

But what does that matter to someone who attacks his head with a flowbee?

So I cant come right away due to other obligations. As a matter of fact I can’t get there until Sunday. So he ended up having to sit in church he says, worrying the whole time about what the people BEHIND him must be thinking. He said he didn’t care what they thought, just wondered what must be going through their minds at the site of this wild-haired older person in front of them.

Of course I can’t just go there and expect to cut his hair. I'm freaking
out, afraid I'll mess it up even more, although thinking back now,
I dont see how that would have been possible.:hmm:
I have to search youtube and other sites to find out the best way to cut a man’s hair. The most I’ve done is clipper DH’s neck for him. (I told my husband after what I went through with my dad’s hair and neck that I promise I will never grimace or give him a hard time EVER AGAIN when he asks me to neaten up his neck for him) Because not only was my dad’s hair like something out of a Stephen king novel, his ears, eyebrows and neck had hair sprouting wildly as well. And I couldn’t just leave him like that. Or my mother. I felt for her right then, I really did.)

So I got a quick 10 minute lesson on clipper cutting and hand over scissor techniques, etc and headed over to my dad’s.

I began laying out everything on the counter like an ER surgeon preparing for surgery:
Scissors: check. Cape: check. Clippers: check. WE NEED A COMB HERE STAT!

I trimmed him all up and fixed the back as much as possible. I couldn’t help where he’d made two bald spots but I neatened it up.
I have to say, I actually did a pretty good job on his hair! Everyone else said so too. Oh yes, my mom, husband, brother and sister-in-law ALL grabbed seats and proceeded to set up camp in the kitchen where I was giving the cut, just to watch me screw up and laugh the whole time at the craziness of the situation. :drama:
Talk about pressure, sheesh. But when I was done, they were all complimenting him and I saying how nice it looked, especially my mother who wouldn’t stop with the ‘wows’.

She was glad just to get rid of the ear and neck hair, I’m sure. Never mind the brows getting neatened up. Ick.

But I was NOT going NEAR those nose hairs…

MemSahib
June 8th, 2009, 04:27 PM
I can't stop laughing long enough to reply!!!......

MemSahib
June 8th, 2009, 04:28 PM
I'm hurting LOL




Catching my breath long enough to say thanks. I needed to laugh like that.

mellie
June 8th, 2009, 04:28 PM
I had a Flowbee!!

I loved it!! I used to have a pixie cut and it worked great! I used it for my then boyfriend/now DH too!! It works really, really nicely if you use the attachments right (they prevent you from cutting any shorter than a certain length). I liked the wedge attachment best.

I miss my Flowbee now!

Isilme
June 8th, 2009, 04:33 PM
that's very funny :lol: I wish I could have seen his hair before you took the scissors to his head, hehe. On the other hand, now you know how to cut short hairstyles:)

Islandgrrl
June 8th, 2009, 04:34 PM
Ohmygosh, I'm laughing so hard I'm crying.

My next door neighbor used to have one of those flowbee things. It did unmentionable things to his head, too. :bigeyes:

Gutterfayrie
June 8th, 2009, 04:39 PM
LOL That was a great story!!! Thanks for sharing it with us.

s_tresses
June 8th, 2009, 04:54 PM
LOL Nice. That troll analogy is hilarious.

logica_divina
June 8th, 2009, 05:20 PM
Hahahahaha great story hairbrain! :laugh:

Anje
June 8th, 2009, 05:50 PM
http://www.curevents.com/vb/images/smilies/worth.gif
Great story!

Addy
June 8th, 2009, 05:51 PM
Rotflmao! That is tooo funny!

viking_quest
June 8th, 2009, 06:04 PM
That was hilarious. I can only imagine how the troll "hairstyle" looked like before you fixed it.

jessie58
June 8th, 2009, 06:16 PM
Great funny story Hairbrain. You saved the day too. Now they'll be calling you to cut his hair on a regular basis though...

xrosiex
June 8th, 2009, 06:21 PM
Lol I cant stop laughing. Thanks for sharing.:):):)

Teacherbear
June 8th, 2009, 07:01 PM
bwhahahaha, that is hilarious! Thanks for the great story!

Now. Where are the pictures?!

EdG
June 8th, 2009, 07:01 PM
That's hilarious! :rollin:

The next time you see your dad, you could suggest that there's more than one way to save money on haircuts. ;)
Ed

feralnature
June 8th, 2009, 07:09 PM
Back-to-the-Future-Doc Hair! heh heh :)

Pilgrim
June 8th, 2009, 07:27 PM
:rollin:

Oh my, that's funny. My DH uses a Flowbee, too. When I first found out about it, I was fairly mortified, but he's been using it for years and it works out okay. I trim the edges afterwards. He likes to save a buck, too, and it does! Kudos to you for fixing it for your Dad - I think just trimming the edges is a challenge!

coppercurls
June 8th, 2009, 07:40 PM
So did your mom throw out the flowbee?:p

Silver & Gold
June 8th, 2009, 07:49 PM
OK, I have tears running down my cheeks from laughing so hard. Thanks for sharing that story. I really needed a good laugh today . . . you have no idea!

Nyghtingale
June 8th, 2009, 08:21 PM
That is too funny. My brother used to have one of those things. That explains why is hair looked like that, lol

hairbrain
June 9th, 2009, 07:51 AM
I should have known I would be in trouble for not providing pics!
Can you imagine me trying to remember a
camera after trying to grab all my stuff though?
The clipper set, the scissor set, the CAPE -lol I'm SuperCutter! http://www.smileyslord.com/smileys/superman-flying-smiley.gif (http://www.smileyslord.com) http://www.smileyslord.com/smileys/superman-logo-smiley.gif (http://www.smileyslord.com)


but youre right. A pic would be the icing on the cake!
all the better though. I doubt my dad would be happy
I posted his troll-hair on the www

coppercurls, I think my mom probably HID the flowbee somewhere
where he cant find it!

Ed, youre right. But the eyebrow, ear and nose hairs are long
enough without him trying to grow the head hair. LOL.
It would be cool-looking though. His hair is so... fluffy

Fencai
June 9th, 2009, 08:02 AM
HAHAHAHA! OMG!!! That's the funniest thing ever!!!
When my high school sweetheart moved from our small town to the big city for college, he was nick-named flowbee and his roommate was flowbee's cousin! LOL! and the truth of the matter was that his mom DID cut his hair with a flowbee!! HAHAHAHA!

Zindell
June 9th, 2009, 08:04 AM
Hahaa! Thanks for sharing that story! :D

Ryanne
June 9th, 2009, 08:09 AM
Too funny! :rollin:
I'm glad it worked out.

Shell
June 9th, 2009, 08:54 AM
Congrats--you have yourself a new job! Trust me, once you've cut someone's hair--you're on the hook forever. I know, I cut two heads of hair last weekend. Great story. Bad, bad, flowbee.

hairbrain
June 9th, 2009, 09:09 AM
Congrats--you have yourself a new job! Trust me, once you've cut someone's hair--you're on the hook forever. I know, I cut two heads of hair last weekend. Great story. Bad, bad, flowbee.

LOL no kidding right?
oy
I am the cutter of the crew now.
I just did a correction cut for my 11 year old nieces hair.
She tried to cut herself some side bangs but it
ended up looking like a stairway from her ear to her
forehead. I evened it out for her and it was so cute
the way she kept tossing her head around to see her
bangs all flowy and I kept catching her checking herself
out in the mirror!

GlennaGirl
June 9th, 2009, 03:26 PM
OMG. Can...not...stop...laughing.

Best post in LHC history.

Shermie Girl
June 9th, 2009, 03:35 PM
:rollin: :rollin: :rollin:

Oh my gosh! I am laughing so hard I almost wet my drawers. :lol:

Thank you for sharing your story. :D

thefibergoddess
June 9th, 2009, 04:43 PM
Can't ... Stop ... Laughing!!!!!!!! I thought I had a crazy life and family but this just trumped most of my stories.
And I love your signature - I have a true story about a bus company that purchased 11 buses from a Canadian company and the sign roll. Think Harvard!

enfys
June 9th, 2009, 05:02 PM
Why did I have to read this during a really intense scene on CSI?

Brilliant story. I haven't seen a flowbee in real life, but it sounds so much like Flymo (yeah the lawnmower people) that the thought makes me shudder.

I'm waiting to have one of these moments while cutting the boyfriend's hair. Well, hopefully it won't be so bad...please no. Doc/Troll = not a good look on anyone.

rchorr
June 9th, 2009, 08:04 PM
Oh, oh, oh ... ROTFLMAO!!!!! And ... I'm sitting at the reference desk, so I can't laugh as loudly as I would like!

Thanks SO MUCH for the much needed laugh!!!

Hee, hee, hee.

RCHORR'

Speckla
June 9th, 2009, 08:05 PM
Hmmm...you think I could borrow it to trim my bangs? ;)

hairbrain
June 10th, 2009, 08:59 AM
Hmmm...you think I could borrow it to trim my bangs? ;)
flowbee?
this sounds like a job for.......



SuperCutter! http://www.smileyslord.com/smileys/superman-flying-smiley.gif (http://www.smileyslord.com) http://www.smileyslord.com/smileys/superman-logo-smiley.gif (http://www.smileyslord.com)