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View Full Version : I'm finally scared to cut it =( How do I get over this?!



Jae6
June 4th, 2009, 12:06 AM
Not sure how well known this is, but historically I haven't been emotionally attached to my hair since I was 13. So basically for over a decade I've had no qualms cutting over 12" of hair w/o notice.

Until now :doh:

I always promised myself I wouldn't ever get this attached to my hair, but i know I need a major trim (like 6" = 15cm for you metric folks :)) for my hair to be really in good shape again, but I'm scared.

I think it's because I FINALLY have waist-length hair again (12 years in the making here, lots of grow&chop going on in that 12 years) AND know how to take care of it properly for once.

I think a pep talk is in order here...help? :(

Quixii
June 4th, 2009, 12:14 AM
Just think - once you get off the less healthy hair, you'll have a full head of beautiful, healthy hair. I bet it will grow faster than the first time, since you know how to take care of it and will keep it healthy, and you won't feel constantly worried about, "Oh, but my ends are disgusting.." or something. If you cut off a minimum of 8", places could take it for donations (not LoL, though).
Basically, I think you'd be happier with short but really healthy hair than long but the last six inches almost feel fake, like they don't count. At least, that's how I'd feel. Like I saw a lady who had really long hair, but I swear the last foot or so was all whisps and just kinda unappealing. Why bother having length if you don't take care of it?

(Sorry if that was a really lame pep talk. I don't give them ever/often.)

hennaphile
June 4th, 2009, 12:16 AM
Well, maybe try and salvage the ends before chopping? There are some simple things like oiling and cassia that can work wonders, and it wouldn't hurt to try before cutting? But do what you know is best for you! If it means cutting, then do that, but stay true to yourself and you'll be happiest :flowers:

RancheroTheBee
June 4th, 2009, 02:29 AM
Why six inches? Is it split all the way up there? Because if not, there may be a way to save your hair without trimming so much off.

Katze
June 4th, 2009, 03:07 AM
Just think - once you get off the less healthy hair, you'll have a full head of beautiful, healthy hair. I bet it will grow faster than the first time, since you know how to take care of it and will keep it healthy, and you won't feel constantly worried about, "Oh, but my ends are disgusting.." or something. If you cut off a minimum of 8", places could take it for donations (not LoL, though).
Basically, I think you'd be happier with short but really healthy hair than long but the last six inches almost feel fake, like they don't count. At least, that's how I'd feel. Like I saw a lady who had really long hair, but I swear the last foot or so was all whisps and just kinda unappealing. Why bother having length if you don't take care of it?

(Sorry if that was a really lame pep talk. I don't give them ever/often.)

Um, many people's hair "wisps" naturally whether they take good care of it or not. Although I have been trimming and trimming my ends are still VERY thin and "unappealing". Every time someone says so, I feel I have to justify the fact that I am only trimming slowly because otherwise my hair would never be long at all.

To present an even more extreme perspective and give the OP something to think about, many LHCers actually prefer the look of "fairytale ends" and keep their hair that way "on purpose" so they can do more updos. So think before you judge. :)

sneakybea
June 4th, 2009, 03:37 AM
I just want to give you my sympathy. I have very slow growing hair, too---I think it took me at least 15 years to get to waist length---and I think it's very harder for us to part with any of our length. If you've learned how to protect the ends of your hair, is there any reason you have to part with all six of the inches you say are damaged at once? Maybe you could get smaller, less traumatic trims and see how it looks. If it works better for you to get a six month trim, all at once, I say go for it. Imagine your hair at that length, and see whether you can find pictures of people here that have it. I'm sure you'll find some lovely hair that length and you'll feel better about cutting yours.
P.S. What probably kept me from being discouraged at how slow my hair grows was wearing it up a lot. A watched pot never boils, as they say, and my hair grew by leaps and bounds when I wasn't looking!

kdaniels8811
June 4th, 2009, 04:19 AM
I have cut off my "fairytale"ends for years. Now, seeing the beautiful heads of hair with a foot or more! of fairytale ends, I am content to just let mine grow. Hair does not have to have a blunt hemline to be beautiful. There are some folks here with knee length hair with stunning fairytale ends. It is supposed to look like that, it is not because it is uncared for.

cocolover
June 4th, 2009, 09:22 AM
I sympathize with you. I really need to cut about 2.5-3 inches off to get to the hair that is super soft and in good condition, but I can't get myself to do it right now. I will probably just do microtrims every few months to get it off. I want length, but not length that looks yucky to me. For me it isn't about a blunt hemline, as my curls make that impossible :) I totally get that hair doesn't have to have a blunt hemline to be beautiful, but hair that looks unhealthy is a whole other issue. My ends look unhealthy to me so I go back and forth about just hacking them off to get to the hair I do like!
Maybe you could follow what nightshade did with her damaged hair. She has that article on here about damaged hair and found a happy medium of growing and trimming off damage. Good luck to you.

GoddesJourney
June 4th, 2009, 10:17 AM
Okay, I was in your same position and then I just cut it. I had about six inches of "damaged beyond repair", so I cut off about a third of it. This made me really happy because the last part was obvioulsly the worst (so now my hair tangles much less) and the rest is tolerable because there isn't so much of it. I did a self-trim so as soon as I cut the first *snip* I had to continue. I'm so much happier with my hair since I trimmed and I didn't lose that much length. Check out my self-trim album.

JamieLeigh
June 4th, 2009, 06:21 PM
You can always just trim off a little at a time, like maybe half an inch a month, that way you're not losing any length, yet still trimming off the parts that make you unhappy. Eventually you'll love all of the hair that you have, and as long as you're not continuing to do awful things that damage your hair, you shouldn't have any more problems after it's all gone. :)

cakedcake
June 4th, 2009, 06:27 PM
Oy, I have the same problem. I've done a big winter hair chop once a year for the last three years, and it was totally no big deal. Now that I've decided to grow it out, the patience required is driving me batty and increasing my emotional attachment to it.

I still have short hair, but it's very uneven on one side, and I do not want to cut at all ever, even trim! I'm just hoping the other side will catch up on its own eventually.

Flynn
June 4th, 2009, 06:32 PM
I just did a "about 10 cm" (probably a tad more... not certain) chop to even up my ends, and get the texture for the whole length the same again (I like it better that way!) ... two weeks ago, now, I think. Means I'm a bit above waist now, rather than a bit below, but heck. It looks and feels soooo good. Totally worth the loss of length. If you feel you need a bit chop off to get it back the way you like it, go for it! It's totally worth it. On long hair, 10-15, even 20 cm is nothing. Other than when I re-measured, and when I actually look, I hardly notice the loss of length. (And no-one else did... Everyone was shocked when I showed/told them how much I had cut off...) I do notice how much nicer my ends look and feel, and how lovely my braid tassel looks. (And so does everyone else.)

Just think, now you do know how to look after it properly, with a chop, you'll get back to waist and beyond with wonderful, soft, shiny, lovely ends, and only tiny little trims. Isn't that terribly exciting? (That's the situation I'm in, and I find it exciting...) Go on... sooner you get it cut, the sooner those beautiful, undamaged, loved and looked after ends will be brushing your waist, your hips, your tailbone... and so on again. XD

NiAosSi
June 4th, 2009, 06:32 PM
Some members trim about an inch at a time until they get rid of all the damage. Try that.

rani
June 5th, 2009, 04:38 PM
Just thinks about how pretty it will look with all of the damage gone! I mean, six inches is a lot (that's like, almost all of my hair!) but if it's damaged you can't really call it hair, you know? I would make a fun afternoon of it -- maybe go out to eat to a nice restaurant, see a movie with some friends, go to the park and hang out. That way you will associate pleasant memories with your haircut and won't agonize over how much (damaged) length you have lost.

spidermom
June 5th, 2009, 05:28 PM
If you don't want to do it, don't. You can trim only a small amount every month or every other month, and you will end up with the same results. Growing long hair is a long-term commitment. It takes time. There is nothing you have to do right now except take as good of your hair as you can so it will be strong and not break off.

jojo
June 5th, 2009, 06:18 PM
Um, many people's hair "wisps" naturally whether they take good care of it or not. Although I have been trimming and trimming my ends are still VERY thin and "unappealing". Every time someone says so, I feel I have to justify the fact that I am only trimming slowly because otherwise my hair would never be long at all.

To present an even more extreme perspective and give the OP something to think about, many LHCers actually prefer the look of "fairytale ends" and keep their hair that way "on purpose" so they can do more updos. So think before you judge. :)
I cannot agree more with Katze post, i treat my hair like a baby but due to having fine hair my hair naturally wisps on the longest bits, this is not a sign of a bad hair routine but more a sign of hair in its natural state. As Katze rightly said lots of people on here have fairytale ends and have beautiful, envious hair.

Back to the OP question, try little and often dustings, they work wonders and stop the breaking out in a sweat each time we need a trim. I have the same feelings when it comes to cutting my hair. I have just cut an inch off mine due to having hair that broke and split on the last inch, my hair feels lovely now and the lost inch is hardly noticable. I normally dust on a 2 monthly basis, but neglected the dustings of late, hense why I needed an inch off!